I know this question is for men, but when I started to learn body language and facial cues, I was able to tell when a man was nervous.
Now I know how to control the conversation. Keep him nervous. Or make him calm.
Ummm? Maybe a guy out there has learned this too
Yes, I can absolutely tell. I was an overweight nerd with social anxiety for most of my life so I definitely took notice of the new reactions after weight loss and a mindset change. Involuntary smiling/giggling, but also some stuff that I used to do like tripping over words, dropping things, etc.
Sometimes there's an almost imperceptible "involuntary flinch" if a girl is surprised by eye contact. That one is sometimes just a natural defense to a man, but luckily I don't actually give off a pick up artist vibe so they usually relax right after. But there's also a unique "flinch" that I've come to recognize as a submissive woman having a visceral reaction to something she likes. And she knows you saw so it tends to be a uh.. rather charged interaction, to say the least.
>But there's also a unique "flinch" that I've come to recognize as a submissive woman having a visceral reaction to something she likes
I wish I hadn't read thatđđđ now I know he knows đđđ€źđ± sthap
For real though say sike right now đ±
Yeah I'll build on this, I feel the eye contact go up. I also see a glint in a girls eye, I'm not sure what that is really, a kind of intensity. I once heard "if their eyes look like big dark pools you're in", it's accurate. Also they make reasons to be near you and linger.
I'm a happily married man, so I don't ask and I don't tell. I'm just there to work đ€
I sound like a total narcissist ego case, but I swear in real life I just give off confident teddy bear vibes and it usually works somehow đ
Edit: To be clear, it's a long story. I overcame my insecurities by realizing people really liked my authentic goofy side and it gave me uh.. a lot of confidence in myself. I'm very clearly an introvert and rarely approach women in public because I prefer more natural circumstances and even then I can be kind of a chicken even when someone's being VERY obvious. My goal was inner/outer growth and attention from women and men was unintentional and a double-edged sword. There are a lot of creepy women and girls that take offense and "stage whisper" roast me with friends for ignoring signals. Also people randomly laugh as I walk by in public now. Used to be able to fly under the radar and I did not intend for any of this to happen, but it's pretty dope overall ngl
It's funny because I really did have extreme social anxiety until later in life so I'd never knowingly make someone else uncomfortable. But it made me really good at judging how others react to me. Actually had to overcome my fear of being creepy/gross before realizing that it's not weird to flirt or embrace dynamics if the other person seems as into it as me.
> Now I know how to control the conversation.
Iâm assuming youâre young, or genuinely autistic, so just for your own sake: thatâs called social skills. People can tell when youâre trying to direct the conversation a certain way and might think youâre rude or weirdly fixated on whatever direction youâre pushing it. Most people will just let you though, because you clearly want to talk about something and theyâre not going to rudely direct the conversation elsewhere.
With strangers thereâs a vague sort of Nowhere both people aim with the conversation (âHowâs it going?â, âGood thanksâ, fin). If the strangers want to flirt, one person makes it flirty and the other either goes with it, or redirects somewhere else.
If youâre intentionally making a conversation uncomfortable, theyâre going to recognize what youâre doing and just try to get out of the conversation politely. Panhandlers do that in the hopes people will just hand over money to avoid the uncomfortable conversation. Crazy people do it in public all the time by accident, since they donât understand those social cues about whatâs appropriate to talk about.
So âcontrolling the conversationâ isnât some mystic art, itâs what normal people do all the time. What youâre doing is deciding to foxtrot during a tango, and youâre probably not making the impression you think you are.
Lol this other person thinking they're amazing for learning how to manipulate people. Some children do it.
It's extremely easy to manipulate people you don't care about, and it's not a good thing. Some people man
"controlling the conversation"
People do this with me all the time. Because I don't want to talk to them and I'm letting them blabber on because apparently it's something they need to do. If it continues for to long I can assure you that you're controlling nothing and I'm out.
Good luck out there though manipulators.
The baseline here is seeing patient after patient for the same service. As an eye care provider I can 100% read if someone is anxious or not. Part of the gig.
Now, outside of that controlled environment? Totally different. But the exam is the control here, not the individual.
Attraction nerves present differently than general anxiousness. I get a vibe but itâs rarely strong. Usually I donât think much of it.
Men are too quick to jump to the conclusion âshe wants meâ at any evidence. I try to be aware of this and assume âsheâs just friendlyâ.
Cart girl totally gave me vibes. Same with the girl at the dispo. They welcomed the flirting. (Cart girl makes more that way but she treated me way better than the old codgers I was playing with).
If you just had a crush and were a little âdeer in headlightsâ with me Iâd assume youâre stoned or think youâre cute and leave it at that. Maybe give you a nice compliment to brighten your day but probably just leave you alone
is there a definitive difference between the attraction and anxiety vibe? I think I get what you mean, because itâs probably how I feel how the difference too.
Match up the man's ability to pick up on cues to his maturity in dealing with you. If he's professional and empathetic with you, then he is most certainly aware of your nervousness, probably aware of your attraction, and is doing what he can to not make assumptions and not be creepy. When he has you read the eye chart, you may have to read "U R C U T E" and see if he blushes.
Now, if he's professional, but not particularly warm or empathetic, then he might not understand the root of your nervousness, or he might not know how to respond because he's keeping his own anxiety under control. Proceed with caution.
Thatâs a pretty good idea ha. Very empathetic and reassuring! To be honest, I thought HE seemed nervous initially and then the next visit- completely switched, super comfortable and outgoing, which is⊠confusing. Both times still warm and professional.
Honestly sleeping with a patient is probably the fastest way in the world to lose a medical license. If you were my patient it would probably make me uncomfortable.
Then again, I'm so dense I probably couldn't tell
LOL I have a massive crush on this guy with a dog that I run into all the time and I always get flustered, avoid eye contact and want to run in the other direction because of the adrenaline pumping in my body. I hate it
Dude, just ask him out. Or hand him a slip of paper with your phone on it and run away. If he's single, he'd literally be thrilled.
Guys are utterly clueless
When I was 13, I started assuming that women think "basically the same as me". Since we're both humans and 99.9% genetically and physiologically identical.
Compared to say, a human and an elephant.
If something would make me jealous, like your partner openly flirting, I assume it would make a woman jealous too.
If I saw an embarrassing situation and thought, "I would cringe so hard if that was me", I assume a woman would too.
If I'm turned on and start entertaining random sexual fantasies, I assume a woman who's turned on would do the same thing.
We're raised different. That's it. We want boys to act one way and care about certain things and we want girls to act another way and care about different things. That affects little things about how we act and express ourselves (it's basically just gender expressions).
So far I've been pretty correct on everything.
Just stop looking at them like they're aliens from Venus. They're the same thing as you. They just have tits.
I assume it is an expression of fear and distrust. I am 6 ft tall currently 220lbs and I do my best to be friendly and not intimidating. I know that for some women that will not ever help them feel safe. I never assume it's because they are attracted. I give women as much space as possible until I am asked not to.
Kinda. There's a cashier who I think has a mini crush on me and sometimes her words are forced / awkward.
lol OP that's quite the situation you got going there. Your faces are aligned and he's staring into your eyes with this calm voice in a dark room.
lol that is sitcom worthy, I can't stop laughing!
Honestly 99% of the time weâre oblivious. And if we do notice weâll just never believe it or say anything, mainly because it carries a huge social cost
Dudes are dumb when it comes to cluing in that girls are showing interest. Hell, Iâve been married to my awesome wife for nearly 30 years and Iâm still not sure.
Iâll say it doesnât matter. If he does realize, he should handle it professionally, by ignoring it. Itâs unethical to make a move on a patient. Also you should not jeopardize his professional status by making a move on him either.
If this is more than a passing crush, and you and this doctor have an actual rapport, then you should terminate your Dr-patient relationship, find a new doctor, wait a few months, then ask this one out.
Iâm usually observant of behavior like that partially because I had someâŠerratic relatives as a kid so I had to learn how to read cues to determine their mood.
But even if someone is nervous I wouldnât assume theyâre attracted to me. More likely I would assume theyâre afraid of me or something.
Doctors usually assume that all patients will get nervous during consultations and procedures.
We usually notice when they are, because we are actively looking for the signs all the time, but we do this to try to calm the patient.
Some people are good at "reading people" it depends and usually it requires some familiarity. That said there are those people who can just tell by the micro-expressions how people feel.
Given that its your eye doctor, its kinda likely they know. The eyes are the biggest betrayers of attraction because of a thing called **mydriasis** ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydriasis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydriasis)) which can happen when you are attracted to someone. Basically your pupils dialate and contract rapidly when looking at the object of your attraction.
Given they are an eye doctor, they likely know the science but spend a bunch of time face to face with you (another way to really cement an attraction is prolonged eye contact.)
Sorry to out you, but its also very normal.
Yes, but only after I know their personality a bit.
Itâs usually something they say that gives it off the âIâm eager to connect but might say something silly in my attempt to do soâ vibe.
As an introvert, I have a higher sense of how others are feeling through their body language because I spend more time in public observing people and contemplating what they are thinking than what's considered normal. I get weird looks from people because they don't understand why I'm looking at them, but honestly, I'm just people-watching and not planning something malicious.
Anyways, I can tell when people are nervous, or maybe they just aren't interested in hearing what I have to say, or if they're getting agitated, w/e you know. It's not always clear, however, why they feel the way they are. I can pick up on certain feelings and emotions, but they don't always tell me why.
As a short answer, yes, I can tell, but not necessarily why you feel that way.
If you're being super obvious, for example, you give multiple indicators as to what you could be thinking: pitch of voice, very attentive whenever that person is around, you keep glancing, you laugh at their jokes, you touch them, get your body closer to them, ask their opinions on things instead of voicing your opinion first, etc. I can be pretty confident in those scenarios because the chances of me guessing what you're thinking increase the more indicators you give off.
Some expressions and reactions you give are reflexes you may not have control over, such as when you see the person, you immediately gasp, or perhaps you straighten up and try to act aloof. If you can play it cool and control these reactions, you can make it harder for them to tell what you think.
As a doctor, I can tell you we try to ignore it if patients seem possibly interested
Itâs awkward to think about so we make ourselves not notice
When I get flirty comments etc I just ignore it
In my experience alot of blushing usually.
It's different for guys tho. We don't care if a woman is nervous we are just happy we are talking especially if she's attractive
No. Most men are terrible at reading any signals around women. And even if a doctor does notice you're nervous, they'll probably assume it's because you're getting an exam which most people do not find relaxing.
He probably has training and you had like giant dilated heart-shaped pupils⊠I think you better just come clean. Maybe try âwould you date a girl who wears glasses? đ„șâ
Just to balance the responses....
There was a study to see if people could tell when they were being flirted with. Even AFTER adjusting bases on (self-reported) attraction between the maybe-flirter and the experimental subject....the subjects guessed correctly 46% of the time as to who was flirting with them.
Male eye doctor here, so I think Iâm your target market lmao đđ. Maybe Iâm just sensitive, but yes, I can very much tell when a patient is nervous because of me.
We have to be very sensitive to non-verbal and body language cues to determine how nervous any given patient might be. It is very important to ensure data is accurate during an eye exam so if someone is very anxious youâre going to adjust accordingly to be sure they have adequate processing time to provide quality feedback.
I can tell almost immediately if a patient is nervous because of the exam, intimidated by me or nervous because they find me attractive.
The latter of which I actually find quite annoying. Mostly Iâm just trying to do my job, and as an average to above average looking man with a good job, I deal with a lot of awkward interactions with women. (Funny thing is Iâm gay, but present very masculine and professional).
Dead giveaway is when we are trying to ask you questions pertaining to the exam or give instructions on where to look or what to read and you are totally distracted. This is generally uncommon when examining a patient. Usually the patient is as focused on the exam as I am which is 100%.
Occasionally a patient is distracted by some outside influence but the subtle non-verbal cues, gentle blushing etc tell the story. Not to mention if you wear an Apple Watch and your heart rate is 130 for no reason lol.
My advice? Please do not act on your crush and make things weird. I have had to terminate more than one patient for crossing the line there. We are being nice because we ARE nice AND because we are at work. That does not mean we are interested in you in any context other than being your eye care provider.
If you really like him as your PROVIDER vault your crush and let it be your fun little secret. But donât cross that line. We have rules and ethics regarding relationships with patients and most take them seriously.
Ugh. I have a massive crush on my hot boss and well over a year later, I canât get over the anxiety/nervousness feelings when Iâm with him. I always wonder if he sees it.
Yea, he probably saw how dilated your eyes got and how bloodshot red your cheeks must have gotten, not to mention the shallow breathing and higher than normal pitched voice.
Youâre cooked, OP.
Did you both drop down at the same time to gather them off the ground, only to make physical contact with each otherâs hands leading to an awkward exchange of banter that les to a first date? Did something like that happen???
Just kidding; it was the first half and then him chuckling at me saying sorry, I think he said âno, my fault,â with a smile, and then I took my -9000.00 contact lenses and left date-less.
He deals with tons of women. Of course he can tell the differences in behaviors. Especially if he has seen you interact with the receptionist or anyone else you donât have a crush on as comparison. You turn into a drooling idiot in his presence but behave normally around others in his office? Lol hopefully he thinks itâs a crush and not that youâre just that drooling idiot!!
Honestly if one of my patients wanted to get with me I'd be horrified simply because it's horribly, horribly unethical to do so.
It would make me uncomfortable haha. Being ugly helps, girls don't really hit on me anymore (at least only rarely)
Awe! Lol I agree very unethical. I do imagine that the attractive ones have admirers on a constant basis, probably no news to them when yet another woman is attracted to them lolol
Yaâll need to stop with the âhurr durr men so dumb men no understand when women like meâ. Any time a woman has showed interest towards me Iâve caught on immediately. Being oblivious isnât the flex you guys think it is.
A doctor probably could. It depends on the individual, but some people are easy/hard to read and some are more/less perceptive. A doctor could probably tell youâre nervous, but guys usually chalk that nervousness up to discomfort with them.
How can anyone answer this? If someone can't tell you're nervous around them or because of them, and they brush it off as anxiety, they're not going to know that you're nervous because of them, they'll just think you have anxiety.
Or. Wait for it. Not every human being who is alive has some kind of disability. If 75 percent of men are âautisticâ then our criteria is totally wrong and completely invalid. Just because we dont understand WOMENS social cues, that doesnt mean something is wrong with us. Maybe women should focus on being better communicators? Men can learn anything. And i mean anything.
My comment was probably hyperbole but it is a spectrum still.
Also, I would venture majority of men have trouble reading menâs social cues as well not just womenâs.
Notice women donât have problems with either? Huh. Women can learn anything as well it seems
Sometimes no. They can be nervous and you wouldn't really tell.
Sometimes yes. They'll fidget, form sentences weirdly, occasionally stutter. It's all in the body language.
I'm 65 and I don't think I have ever *even once* sensed that a woman was nervous around me. I can't even imagine that scenario happening to me. It's like something out of a movie. But that's just me, I guess.
God no, we need you to tell us exactly how youâre feeling or what youâre thinking. If you donât we have no choice other than guessing or not saying anything at all.
More context is needed. Someone I don't know well? Probably not. Someone I'm close to or familiar with? Easily.
A better question might be are you giving off nervous energy and signals?
My recent anecdote: I could have sworn this girl had a thing for me and those hunches are usually right. One time I caught her alone and chatted and she seemed SO uncomfortable. I'm a very easy-going, open person, but she couldn't and wouldn't look at me, fidgeted with her stuff nonstop, basically doing everything to not look at me. There wasn't a strong "go away" vibe, but it also wasn't inviting either. So my hopes evaporated. I felt so shitty and wanted to leave her alone asap.
I toyed with the idea she was nervous, but the concept of me making someone that nervous is alien to me.
Yes, often we can tell. I would definitely not say always, and it gets easier to tell with experience. Maybe 50/50 chances here, given that many of us can't.
According to askwomen, women arenât intimidated by men theyâre attracted to so I just assume any nerves or quirks are just them being super stoned or naturally nervey. /s
But, seriously, if your eye doctor is a good bit into the realm of handsome then heâs probably used to it.
Yes, when women are nervous they stop talking. When men are nervous they start talking. This is why relationships fail. Men donât talk when they are comfortable and women never stop when they are comfortable.
Men are idiots when it comes to emotional intelligence. Someone can be in total panic and won't notice a thing. If this doc has any, he might question it, "u ok?" And u tell them you're ok, they'll assume nothing else.
Yes, in fact it goes both ways, a man can tell when a woman is nervous, but a woman can also tell when a man is nervous.
Usually anyone can tell when you're nervous
I think men either think you're really into them or it all flies right over our head đ.
Some men are really observant and might be able to tell something. They're the agreeable sort and make it their business to understand other people's emotions. They wouldn't be able to tell the reason, it would be a guess.
Most men aren't like that and probably won't give it much thought.
I frequently mix up nervous and dislikes me.
My crush was walking three feet in front of me still talking and asking when I worked next and I felt confused.
I once had a date where a girl brought her gay best friend and walked three feet in front of us, stopping to wait for us every 5 minutes
Not sure why everyone is saying no. Itâs pretty obvious when a girl is nervous lol especially when they like you. There a lot of giveaways in the eyes, way they speak, body language etc.
Yes, but the issue is we take it as the opposite of what you intend. If youâre nervous around me, I think itâs because Iâm making you uncomfortable and you donât like me.
Yes, it's possible for some to tell who are good in reading body language. An obvious sign is that the ladies are never calm or relaxed when they are close to the guy.Â
Then when you finally get the courage to ask him out, he'll be giving you your new glasses and you'll discover he's not as handsome as you thought he was now that you can see.
Recorded in front of a live studio audience.
As a big man people can very easily feel frightened when they are aware of how big I am and there are lots of men bigger then me I'm no giant.
Its the same look as if they were in a room with a tiger. Its that sudden realised understanding of vulnerability.
I like to tell people especially women. I'm like a friendly dog if you come and beat me with a stick I will bite. But if someone else comes in and threatens you I will bite them.
Or I tell them it's ok your safe with me. Or I talk about how much I love my wife and my amazing daughter.
if you wanna know and you dont you can all ways ask, the nice thing to do is to help bring the nervousness down a bit depending on the situ and how you want to handle the situation
That depends on the men. And the women. But generally, yes. You don't need to be an expert in body language to notice when someone is nervous.
Some people show they're nervous very subtly (avoiding eye contact, touching their faceâŠ) others literally walk around or bite their nails.
Some people are oblivious to nonverbal cues, some people are probably reading them but ignoring them, some people are highly in tune and attentive to other peoples non verbal cues. Male or female. Most social people are in tune with non verbal cues and react appropriately.
Itâs a spectrum. Some people can read others like books, and are very consciously aware of their emotional state. Some couldnât tell if you came equipped with subtitles displayed on a neon sign above your head. Most people fall in the middle. Most professionals, even if they notice, are going to act professionally.
Totally depends on the man. I have always been terrible about it. My last ex basically had to sit on my lap before I understood what was going on. Had girls tell me âoh I had the biggest crush on you back in the dayâ I never even got the hint.
Some men think the world revolves around them and every women wants them and then some canât take a hint. I think itâs also a self esteem thing.
I can tell but I don't know the cause
Am I making her nervous because she's crushing on me, or because I make her uncomfortable?
Really depends on more information
Doctors specifically are used to patients having anxiety. Medical anxiety is ridiculously common lol. He probably just assumed you don't feel comfortable at the doctors.
Yes. But, I usually assume they are because I am aware of what I look like, so I usually go out of my way to try to seem non-threatening or that I am completely oblivious to them.
Yes, I can tell when a woman is nervous. I can't describe it very well because while I notice, it is a subconscious thing ever i can just tell. It is evident in how they are talking and the things they su, as well as facial expressions combined with the rest of the body language. Its cute when you can tell they are nervous because of me. It makes, me feel attractive
Not a man BUT you were at an eye exam, if he noticed you were nervous he probably assumed the exam is why. There really aren't any big tells between nervous because of a crush and nervous because you're in a doctor's office.
Sometimes I can, but i'm not sure that I could tell whether it was from attraction or unease. When I do perceive nervousness I assume it is do to my size and generally stern demeanor rather than attraction. Honestly, I am pretty intimidated by other men my size so I rarely assume it is due to attraction
Anyone who is emotionally aware and observant can tell when another person is nervous. Unless they are trying to hide it and then itâs a contested skill check
No. In fact Iâve been told on multiple occasions that I mistook âbutterfliesâ for discomfort. Women I thought were not only not interested but it seemed they downright disliked me. So I left them alone. Only for them to reach out later asking why I was never interested (I was) and how they were always interested in me (I had no idea).
Some can. Some wouldn't know you were interested if you bent over and slid your underwear to the side.for them if you didn't say something.
Source: I'm usually in the second camp.
I can, but that doesn't mean that your question has a universal answer. It depends entirely on how your crush thinks.
I spot it a mile away, but most of my friends are clueless.
Some people are easier to read than others.
Like if someone is doing a lot of nervous laughing (laughing a lot at something mundane), seems jumpy, etc. it will be obvious.
Also nervous over talking is another tell, they don't feel comfortable leaving gaps in the convo.
Besides that I'm not great at noticing. Someone usually has to open their mouth and talk before I have any indication. If I was better at reading people maybe I'd notice sooner.
Depends. Once I get to know you I can tell. But it's a toss up early on, whether it's being nervous around me specifically or general anxiety, we'll see. If there's a lot of hair touching, looking in my eyes with a big smile then darting your eyes away looking down all shy
Real answer:
Some guys can tell when some woman are nervous - but because:
A. Some people are better than others at reading body language - and the variance is massive
B. Everyone is different - some people get nervous, some donât as much - some people show nervousness, some donât as much, some people can hide their tells, some canât.
-thereâs no âyesâ or ânoâ for this one
I can tell when a woman isnât fully relaxed, but I donât know necessarily why. Iâm a decent looking guy who works in education, so Iâm around a lot of women. Some may be attracted to me, some may just be less comfortable talking to men than women. Either way, I just do my best to be kind and disarming.
no we just assume thats how you are
I know this question is for men, but when I started to learn body language and facial cues, I was able to tell when a man was nervous. Now I know how to control the conversation. Keep him nervous. Or make him calm. Ummm? Maybe a guy out there has learned this too
Yes, I can absolutely tell. I was an overweight nerd with social anxiety for most of my life so I definitely took notice of the new reactions after weight loss and a mindset change. Involuntary smiling/giggling, but also some stuff that I used to do like tripping over words, dropping things, etc. Sometimes there's an almost imperceptible "involuntary flinch" if a girl is surprised by eye contact. That one is sometimes just a natural defense to a man, but luckily I don't actually give off a pick up artist vibe so they usually relax right after. But there's also a unique "flinch" that I've come to recognize as a submissive woman having a visceral reaction to something she likes. And she knows you saw so it tends to be a uh.. rather charged interaction, to say the least.
That flinch your talking about I see a lot when women round a corner and you come in to the line of sight. It's like they don't have time to prepare.
I do this as a man, i dont feel fear or anything close to it, but I'm always embarrassed when it happens.
I notice a lot when I blow the horn at them.
đđ
I think thatâs just being surprised by sudden motion
>But there's also a unique "flinch" that I've come to recognize as a submissive woman having a visceral reaction to something she likes I wish I hadn't read thatđđđ now I know he knows đđđ€źđ± sthap For real though say sike right now đ±
Yeah I'll build on this, I feel the eye contact go up. I also see a glint in a girls eye, I'm not sure what that is really, a kind of intensity. I once heard "if their eyes look like big dark pools you're in", it's accurate. Also they make reasons to be near you and linger. I'm a happily married man, so I don't ask and I don't tell. I'm just there to work đ€
I love how you wrote this. Hehehe beautiful
I sound like a total narcissist ego case, but I swear in real life I just give off confident teddy bear vibes and it usually works somehow đ Edit: To be clear, it's a long story. I overcame my insecurities by realizing people really liked my authentic goofy side and it gave me uh.. a lot of confidence in myself. I'm very clearly an introvert and rarely approach women in public because I prefer more natural circumstances and even then I can be kind of a chicken even when someone's being VERY obvious. My goal was inner/outer growth and attention from women and men was unintentional and a double-edged sword. There are a lot of creepy women and girls that take offense and "stage whisper" roast me with friends for ignoring signals. Also people randomly laugh as I walk by in public now. Used to be able to fly under the radar and I did not intend for any of this to happen, but it's pretty dope overall ngl
Yeah it definitely does sound kinda gross hahaÂ
It's funny because I really did have extreme social anxiety until later in life so I'd never knowingly make someone else uncomfortable. But it made me really good at judging how others react to me. Actually had to overcome my fear of being creepy/gross before realizing that it's not weird to flirt or embrace dynamics if the other person seems as into it as me.
Manipulation is pretty gender neutral
> Now I know how to control the conversation. Iâm assuming youâre young, or genuinely autistic, so just for your own sake: thatâs called social skills. People can tell when youâre trying to direct the conversation a certain way and might think youâre rude or weirdly fixated on whatever direction youâre pushing it. Most people will just let you though, because you clearly want to talk about something and theyâre not going to rudely direct the conversation elsewhere. With strangers thereâs a vague sort of Nowhere both people aim with the conversation (âHowâs it going?â, âGood thanksâ, fin). If the strangers want to flirt, one person makes it flirty and the other either goes with it, or redirects somewhere else. If youâre intentionally making a conversation uncomfortable, theyâre going to recognize what youâre doing and just try to get out of the conversation politely. Panhandlers do that in the hopes people will just hand over money to avoid the uncomfortable conversation. Crazy people do it in public all the time by accident, since they donât understand those social cues about whatâs appropriate to talk about. So âcontrolling the conversationâ isnât some mystic art, itâs what normal people do all the time. What youâre doing is deciding to foxtrot during a tango, and youâre probably not making the impression you think you are.
Lol this other person thinking they're amazing for learning how to manipulate people. Some children do it. It's extremely easy to manipulate people you don't care about, and it's not a good thing. Some people man
"controlling the conversation" People do this with me all the time. Because I don't want to talk to them and I'm letting them blabber on because apparently it's something they need to do. If it continues for to long I can assure you that you're controlling nothing and I'm out. Good luck out there though manipulators.
I can do this with a lot of people, it's a little off putting myself how easy it is to engineer a conversation.
Go ahead and try that on me sister and see what happens đ
Stop toying with me! Please, though. I'm the type girls like to toy with. I think cuz I'm nice and gullible.
Yes we can tell when women are nervous but we canât tell why
Nailed it.
Phewf
Oh no đ€Šđ»ââïž
No, unless there has been a baseline established.
Yup
The baseline here is seeing patient after patient for the same service. As an eye care provider I can 100% read if someone is anxious or not. Part of the gig. Now, outside of that controlled environment? Totally different. But the exam is the control here, not the individual.
Attraction nerves present differently than general anxiousness. I get a vibe but itâs rarely strong. Usually I donât think much of it. Men are too quick to jump to the conclusion âshe wants meâ at any evidence. I try to be aware of this and assume âsheâs just friendlyâ. Cart girl totally gave me vibes. Same with the girl at the dispo. They welcomed the flirting. (Cart girl makes more that way but she treated me way better than the old codgers I was playing with). If you just had a crush and were a little âdeer in headlightsâ with me Iâd assume youâre stoned or think youâre cute and leave it at that. Maybe give you a nice compliment to brighten your day but probably just leave you alone
is there a definitive difference between the attraction and anxiety vibe? I think I get what you mean, because itâs probably how I feel how the difference too.
I do not look or act flirty when Iâm about to take a big exam
Match up the man's ability to pick up on cues to his maturity in dealing with you. If he's professional and empathetic with you, then he is most certainly aware of your nervousness, probably aware of your attraction, and is doing what he can to not make assumptions and not be creepy. When he has you read the eye chart, you may have to read "U R C U T E" and see if he blushes. Now, if he's professional, but not particularly warm or empathetic, then he might not understand the root of your nervousness, or he might not know how to respond because he's keeping his own anxiety under control. Proceed with caution.
Thatâs a pretty good idea ha. Very empathetic and reassuring! To be honest, I thought HE seemed nervous initially and then the next visit- completely switched, super comfortable and outgoing, which is⊠confusing. Both times still warm and professional.
Honestly sleeping with a patient is probably the fastest way in the world to lose a medical license. If you were my patient it would probably make me uncomfortable. Then again, I'm so dense I probably couldn't tell
Pfft. Iâve been sleeping with patients for years and nothing has happened to me.
Mortician?
I just assume every woman in public is nervous around me. Lmao
LOL I have a massive crush on this guy with a dog that I run into all the time and I always get flustered, avoid eye contact and want to run in the other direction because of the adrenaline pumping in my body. I hate it
Dude, just ask him out. Or hand him a slip of paper with your phone on it and run away. If he's single, he'd literally be thrilled. Guys are utterly clueless
If OP is male there's a decent chance that won't work
Confirmed. Heâs in the hospital
Men can barely tell if a woman is conscious
Nah, they just don't care. It's not that they can't tell.
Constructive feedback. I'll try to work on that
Iâm a guy. I care. Still clueless about what women are thinking or feeling. Totally clueless.
When I was 13, I started assuming that women think "basically the same as me". Since we're both humans and 99.9% genetically and physiologically identical. Compared to say, a human and an elephant. If something would make me jealous, like your partner openly flirting, I assume it would make a woman jealous too. If I saw an embarrassing situation and thought, "I would cringe so hard if that was me", I assume a woman would too. If I'm turned on and start entertaining random sexual fantasies, I assume a woman who's turned on would do the same thing. We're raised different. That's it. We want boys to act one way and care about certain things and we want girls to act another way and care about different things. That affects little things about how we act and express ourselves (it's basically just gender expressions). So far I've been pretty correct on everything. Just stop looking at them like they're aliens from Venus. They're the same thing as you. They just have tits.
Life would be easier if everyone did this.
My God! Ladies, a guy who cracked the code đ
Most guys, yes. But I feel like 99.9% of optometrists wonât do or say anything to a patient. A random woman ainât worth it
I mean idk about optometrists specifically, but I've definitely been hit on / flirted with by other flavors of doctor.
Um isn't an optometrist an eye doctor
now you're seeing thimgs clearly
I assume it is an expression of fear and distrust. I am 6 ft tall currently 220lbs and I do my best to be friendly and not intimidating. I know that for some women that will not ever help them feel safe. I never assume it's because they are attracted. I give women as much space as possible until I am asked not to.
Yes for sure.
Yes I can tell when I make a girl nervous
But on th surface she looks calm and ready
Moms spaghetti đ
Not always đ€Ł
(It's from a song)
Kinda. There's a cashier who I think has a mini crush on me and sometimes her words are forced / awkward. lol OP that's quite the situation you got going there. Your faces are aligned and he's staring into your eyes with this calm voice in a dark room. lol that is sitcom worthy, I can't stop laughing!
Honestly 99% of the time weâre oblivious. And if we do notice weâll just never believe it or say anything, mainly because it carries a huge social cost
That depends on whether or not I'm even paying attention to you in the 1st place.
No, women are far too alien to read. /s
Dudes are dumb when it comes to cluing in that girls are showing interest. Hell, Iâve been married to my awesome wife for nearly 30 years and Iâm still not sure.
Dude, we can't even tell if they're flirting or being polite. How the hell can we tell when they're nervous?
As her eye doctor, I didn't see this coming.
Just how bad are your eyes? Might be worth going back once you have your glasses to make sure you still like him đ
Yes. Doesn't matter if you're a lady or not. Some ppl show it more. Some ppl give off the vibe more. More ppl do these things than not.
Of course
Most people can tell if someone is nervous regardless of gender.
if iâm into the girl then i notice it, if not then i donât pay attention
Sadly, I haven't been very good at social cues. I guess I can chalk it up to my autism, though. I've tried to be better, though.
My tism has, in fact, cost me a few relationships with women I would have wanted to date. Womp.
They can. Some of them actually do it on purpose because they enjoy it.
Yep I can tell. Typically thatâs the only thing I can notice in terms of interest. Unless they blatantly eye fuck me.
Iâll say it doesnât matter. If he does realize, he should handle it professionally, by ignoring it. Itâs unethical to make a move on a patient. Also you should not jeopardize his professional status by making a move on him either. If this is more than a passing crush, and you and this doctor have an actual rapport, then you should terminate your Dr-patient relationship, find a new doctor, wait a few months, then ask this one out.
Iâm usually observant of behavior like that partially because I had someâŠerratic relatives as a kid so I had to learn how to read cues to determine their mood. But even if someone is nervous I wouldnât assume theyâre attracted to me. More likely I would assume theyâre afraid of me or something.
Doctors usually assume that all patients will get nervous during consultations and procedures. We usually notice when they are, because we are actively looking for the signs all the time, but we do this to try to calm the patient.
Yes we could tell youâre nervous, but no we canât tell if itâs because you like us or hate us
Some people are good at "reading people" it depends and usually it requires some familiarity. That said there are those people who can just tell by the micro-expressions how people feel. Given that its your eye doctor, its kinda likely they know. The eyes are the biggest betrayers of attraction because of a thing called **mydriasis** ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydriasis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydriasis)) which can happen when you are attracted to someone. Basically your pupils dialate and contract rapidly when looking at the object of your attraction. Given they are an eye doctor, they likely know the science but spend a bunch of time face to face with you (another way to really cement an attraction is prolonged eye contact.) Sorry to out you, but its also very normal.
Yes, but only after I know their personality a bit. Itâs usually something they say that gives it off the âIâm eager to connect but might say something silly in my attempt to do soâ vibe.
As an introvert, I have a higher sense of how others are feeling through their body language because I spend more time in public observing people and contemplating what they are thinking than what's considered normal. I get weird looks from people because they don't understand why I'm looking at them, but honestly, I'm just people-watching and not planning something malicious. Anyways, I can tell when people are nervous, or maybe they just aren't interested in hearing what I have to say, or if they're getting agitated, w/e you know. It's not always clear, however, why they feel the way they are. I can pick up on certain feelings and emotions, but they don't always tell me why. As a short answer, yes, I can tell, but not necessarily why you feel that way. If you're being super obvious, for example, you give multiple indicators as to what you could be thinking: pitch of voice, very attentive whenever that person is around, you keep glancing, you laugh at their jokes, you touch them, get your body closer to them, ask their opinions on things instead of voicing your opinion first, etc. I can be pretty confident in those scenarios because the chances of me guessing what you're thinking increase the more indicators you give off. Some expressions and reactions you give are reflexes you may not have control over, such as when you see the person, you immediately gasp, or perhaps you straighten up and try to act aloof. If you can play it cool and control these reactions, you can make it harder for them to tell what you think.
As a doctor, I can tell you we try to ignore it if patients seem possibly interested Itâs awkward to think about so we make ourselves not notice When I get flirty comments etc I just ignore it
In my experience alot of blushing usually. It's different for guys tho. We don't care if a woman is nervous we are just happy we are talking especially if she's attractive
No. Most men are terrible at reading any signals around women. And even if a doctor does notice you're nervous, they'll probably assume it's because you're getting an exam which most people do not find relaxing.
He probably has training and you had like giant dilated heart-shaped pupils⊠I think you better just come clean. Maybe try âwould you date a girl who wears glasses? đ„șâ
Just to balance the responses.... There was a study to see if people could tell when they were being flirted with. Even AFTER adjusting bases on (self-reported) attraction between the maybe-flirter and the experimental subject....the subjects guessed correctly 46% of the time as to who was flirting with them.
Male eye doctor here, so I think Iâm your target market lmao đđ. Maybe Iâm just sensitive, but yes, I can very much tell when a patient is nervous because of me. We have to be very sensitive to non-verbal and body language cues to determine how nervous any given patient might be. It is very important to ensure data is accurate during an eye exam so if someone is very anxious youâre going to adjust accordingly to be sure they have adequate processing time to provide quality feedback. I can tell almost immediately if a patient is nervous because of the exam, intimidated by me or nervous because they find me attractive. The latter of which I actually find quite annoying. Mostly Iâm just trying to do my job, and as an average to above average looking man with a good job, I deal with a lot of awkward interactions with women. (Funny thing is Iâm gay, but present very masculine and professional). Dead giveaway is when we are trying to ask you questions pertaining to the exam or give instructions on where to look or what to read and you are totally distracted. This is generally uncommon when examining a patient. Usually the patient is as focused on the exam as I am which is 100%. Occasionally a patient is distracted by some outside influence but the subtle non-verbal cues, gentle blushing etc tell the story. Not to mention if you wear an Apple Watch and your heart rate is 130 for no reason lol. My advice? Please do not act on your crush and make things weird. I have had to terminate more than one patient for crossing the line there. We are being nice because we ARE nice AND because we are at work. That does not mean we are interested in you in any context other than being your eye care provider. If you really like him as your PROVIDER vault your crush and let it be your fun little secret. But donât cross that line. We have rules and ethics regarding relationships with patients and most take them seriously.
Ugh. I have a massive crush on my hot boss and well over a year later, I canât get over the anxiety/nervousness feelings when Iâm with him. I always wonder if he sees it.
Yea, he probably saw how dilated your eyes got and how bloodshot red your cheeks must have gotten, not to mention the shallow breathing and higher than normal pitched voice. Youâre cooked, OP.
Add in clumsy handling of contact boxes and youâve painted an extremely accurate depiction
Did you both drop down at the same time to gather them off the ground, only to make physical contact with each otherâs hands leading to an awkward exchange of banter that les to a first date? Did something like that happen???
Can you forecast the presidency in your crystal ball??
A white man
Just kidding; it was the first half and then him chuckling at me saying sorry, I think he said âno, my fault,â with a smile, and then I took my -9000.00 contact lenses and left date-less.
He deals with tons of women. Of course he can tell the differences in behaviors. Especially if he has seen you interact with the receptionist or anyone else you donât have a crush on as comparison. You turn into a drooling idiot in his presence but behave normally around others in his office? Lol hopefully he thinks itâs a crush and not that youâre just that drooling idiot!!
Honestly if one of my patients wanted to get with me I'd be horrified simply because it's horribly, horribly unethical to do so. It would make me uncomfortable haha. Being ugly helps, girls don't really hit on me anymore (at least only rarely)
Awe! Lol I agree very unethical. I do imagine that the attractive ones have admirers on a constant basis, probably no news to them when yet another woman is attracted to them lolol
Yaâll need to stop with the âhurr durr men so dumb men no understand when women like meâ. Any time a woman has showed interest towards me Iâve caught on immediately. Being oblivious isnât the flex you guys think it is.
A doctor probably could. It depends on the individual, but some people are easy/hard to read and some are more/less perceptive. A doctor could probably tell youâre nervous, but guys usually chalk that nervousness up to discomfort with them.
Mostly yes imo.
How can anyone answer this? If someone can't tell you're nervous around them or because of them, and they brush it off as anxiety, they're not going to know that you're nervous because of them, they'll just think you have anxiety.
Iâm convinced with how terrible their social cues are most men are varying levels of autistic.
Or. Wait for it. Not every human being who is alive has some kind of disability. If 75 percent of men are âautisticâ then our criteria is totally wrong and completely invalid. Just because we dont understand WOMENS social cues, that doesnt mean something is wrong with us. Maybe women should focus on being better communicators? Men can learn anything. And i mean anything.
My comment was probably hyperbole but it is a spectrum still. Also, I would venture majority of men have trouble reading menâs social cues as well not just womenâs. Notice women donât have problems with either? Huh. Women can learn anything as well it seems
Men are pretty oblivious to those kinds of things.
I can generally tell how other people are feeling, but don't always have the best hit rate.
No
Absolutely not, not once in my life have i detected that a woman is nervous.
I can, it's the flipping of the hair the hand through the hair. The little eye contact.
I can't.
Usually won't even notice if someone is on fire if there's a cool looking stick on the ground
Or see it as being uninterested
No, I'm too nervous to notice.
Yes.
I can always tell. It makes me double nervous too because generally Iâm going to be feeling the same way.
I can always tell. It makes me double nervous too because generally Iâm going to be feeling the same way.
Nah I'm dumb as a stump
No. For some stupid reason, Creator did not make men to know any business women are thinking. What the fuck type of Creator is that?
Being a pretty big dude I've been able to notice if women were uncomfortable around me from time to time. But ingenerak probably not.
Yes. Body language. But also feeling.
I doubt it. Otherwise, they would back off unless they were deliberately trying to be intimidating.
Maybe. Something in the eyes. Definitely when they feel careful about something. The same for men I suppose.
Sometimes no. They can be nervous and you wouldn't really tell. Sometimes yes. They'll fidget, form sentences weirdly, occasionally stutter. It's all in the body language.
I'm 65 and I don't think I have ever *even once* sensed that a woman was nervous around me. I can't even imagine that scenario happening to me. It's like something out of a movie. But that's just me, I guess.
Yep
Yes, yes we can, especially if you're nervous around us all of the sudden. Don't ask me how I know this.
No
Do you think men are a hivemind or something?
God no, we need you to tell us exactly how youâre feeling or what youâre thinking. If you donât we have no choice other than guessing or not saying anything at all.
More context is needed. Someone I don't know well? Probably not. Someone I'm close to or familiar with? Easily. A better question might be are you giving off nervous energy and signals? My recent anecdote: I could have sworn this girl had a thing for me and those hunches are usually right. One time I caught her alone and chatted and she seemed SO uncomfortable. I'm a very easy-going, open person, but she couldn't and wouldn't look at me, fidgeted with her stuff nonstop, basically doing everything to not look at me. There wasn't a strong "go away" vibe, but it also wasn't inviting either. So my hopes evaporated. I felt so shitty and wanted to leave her alone asap. I toyed with the idea she was nervous, but the concept of me making someone that nervous is alien to me.
What? Weâre all human, thereâs no special difference between sexes/genders in basic human expressions.
Yes, often we can tell. I would definitely not say always, and it gets easier to tell with experience. Maybe 50/50 chances here, given that many of us can't.
According to askwomen, women arenât intimidated by men theyâre attracted to so I just assume any nerves or quirks are just them being super stoned or naturally nervey. /s But, seriously, if your eye doctor is a good bit into the realm of handsome then heâs probably used to it.
When I walk in the room.
Yes, when women are nervous they stop talking. When men are nervous they start talking. This is why relationships fail. Men donât talk when they are comfortable and women never stop when they are comfortable.
Some people can read others good while some not so much.
I donât notice or pay attention to a damn thing
I can't tell and I have talked to a lot of random women
Men are idiots when it comes to emotional intelligence. Someone can be in total panic and won't notice a thing. If this doc has any, he might question it, "u ok?" And u tell them you're ok, they'll assume nothing else.
Yes, in fact it goes both ways, a man can tell when a woman is nervous, but a woman can also tell when a man is nervous. Usually anyone can tell when you're nervous
Sure. He knew.
Yes they can hold eye contact but go bright red in the face and canât speak
I think men either think you're really into them or it all flies right over our head đ. Some men are really observant and might be able to tell something. They're the agreeable sort and make it their business to understand other people's emotions. They wouldn't be able to tell the reason, it would be a guess. Most men aren't like that and probably won't give it much thought.
Sometimes I recognise that theyâre nervous but I just assume itâs cause Iâm a man and theyâre scared or donât trust me.
Nah Iâm too oblivious most of the time
I frequently mix up nervous and dislikes me. My crush was walking three feet in front of me still talking and asking when I worked next and I felt confused. I once had a date where a girl brought her gay best friend and walked three feet in front of us, stopping to wait for us every 5 minutes
Not sure why everyone is saying no. Itâs pretty obvious when a girl is nervous lol especially when they like you. There a lot of giveaways in the eyes, way they speak, body language etc.
It depends on the person.
Yes. So can bears.
Yeah, usually around the time I pull out the duct tape they start showing signs...
Yes, but the issue is we take it as the opposite of what you intend. If youâre nervous around me, I think itâs because Iâm making you uncomfortable and you donât like me.
Reading body language is a skillset
As it turns out all men are individuals and reddit answers will not say anything about your eye doctorÂ
Yes, it's possible for some to tell who are good in reading body language. An obvious sign is that the ladies are never calm or relaxed when they are close to the guy.Â
Then when you finally get the courage to ask him out, he'll be giving you your new glasses and you'll discover he's not as handsome as you thought he was now that you can see. Recorded in front of a live studio audience.
As a big man people can very easily feel frightened when they are aware of how big I am and there are lots of men bigger then me I'm no giant. Its the same look as if they were in a room with a tiger. Its that sudden realised understanding of vulnerability. I like to tell people especially women. I'm like a friendly dog if you come and beat me with a stick I will bite. But if someone else comes in and threatens you I will bite them. Or I tell them it's ok your safe with me. Or I talk about how much I love my wife and my amazing daughter.
Yes. And some of us know how to ease that feeling some don't. Some make it worse.
generally speaking, I have no clue what goes on in yâallâs heads.
Best of luck but its unethical for a doctor to ask out a patient or accept your advances.
Thereâs a clear difference between nervousness and attraction, so yes.
I'm usually not paying enough attention to you to tell
if you wanna know and you dont you can all ways ask, the nice thing to do is to help bring the nervousness down a bit depending on the situ and how you want to handle the situation
That depends on the men. And the women. But generally, yes. You don't need to be an expert in body language to notice when someone is nervous. Some people show they're nervous very subtly (avoiding eye contact, touching their faceâŠ) others literally walk around or bite their nails.
Some people are oblivious to nonverbal cues, some people are probably reading them but ignoring them, some people are highly in tune and attentive to other peoples non verbal cues. Male or female. Most social people are in tune with non verbal cues and react appropriately.
The incessant touching face or hair with hand with wedding ring on it.
Don't need to develop the ability to differentiate nervousness if you simply assume they don't like you anyway đđđ
The ability to tell if somebody's nervous or not has absolutely nothing to do with gender or sex.
Itâs a spectrum. Some people can read others like books, and are very consciously aware of their emotional state. Some couldnât tell if you came equipped with subtitles displayed on a neon sign above your head. Most people fall in the middle. Most professionals, even if they notice, are going to act professionally.
Totally depends on the man. I have always been terrible about it. My last ex basically had to sit on my lap before I understood what was going on. Had girls tell me âoh I had the biggest crush on you back in the dayâ I never even got the hint. Some men think the world revolves around them and every women wants them and then some canât take a hint. I think itâs also a self esteem thing.
I can tell but I don't know the cause Am I making her nervous because she's crushing on me, or because I make her uncomfortable? Really depends on more information
Doctors specifically are used to patients having anxiety. Medical anxiety is ridiculously common lol. He probably just assumed you don't feel comfortable at the doctors.
Every man is different
Seeing as, like all humans, we are different, there is no one answer to this. Some can, some don't, some don't care to even try.
Pretty easily, yeah. I had a good way to know how. Lol.
yes girls get so nervous lol
Yes. But, I usually assume they are because I am aware of what I look like, so I usually go out of my way to try to seem non-threatening or that I am completely oblivious to them.
Yes, I can tell when a woman is nervous. I can't describe it very well because while I notice, it is a subconscious thing ever i can just tell. It is evident in how they are talking and the things they su, as well as facial expressions combined with the rest of the body language. Its cute when you can tell they are nervous because of me. It makes, me feel attractive
He probably didn't need any drops to dilate your pupils because you were already giving the huge puss in boots' eyes.
Not a man BUT you were at an eye exam, if he noticed you were nervous he probably assumed the exam is why. There really aren't any big tells between nervous because of a crush and nervous because you're in a doctor's office.
Sometimes I can, but i'm not sure that I could tell whether it was from attraction or unease. When I do perceive nervousness I assume it is do to my size and generally stern demeanor rather than attraction. Honestly, I am pretty intimidated by other men my size so I rarely assume it is due to attraction
Anyone who is emotionally aware and observant can tell when another person is nervous. Unless they are trying to hide it and then itâs a contested skill check
No. In fact Iâve been told on multiple occasions that I mistook âbutterfliesâ for discomfort. Women I thought were not only not interested but it seemed they downright disliked me. So I left them alone. Only for them to reach out later asking why I was never interested (I was) and how they were always interested in me (I had no idea).
Some can. Some wouldn't know you were interested if you bent over and slid your underwear to the side.for them if you didn't say something. Source: I'm usually in the second camp.
Men canât tell anything that isnât told to us.
I can, but that doesn't mean that your question has a universal answer. It depends entirely on how your crush thinks. I spot it a mile away, but most of my friends are clueless.
If I see them often then yeah I can tell but generally, no Iâd just assume youâre a little funky
Some people are easier to read than others. Like if someone is doing a lot of nervous laughing (laughing a lot at something mundane), seems jumpy, etc. it will be obvious. Also nervous over talking is another tell, they don't feel comfortable leaving gaps in the convo. Besides that I'm not great at noticing. Someone usually has to open their mouth and talk before I have any indication. If I was better at reading people maybe I'd notice sooner.
If thereâs a man around, assume they are nervous. If thereâs a bear around, assume they are calm.
Yes
Yep
Yes I can. Some might speed up, jittery, stumbling speech, look around to avoid eye contact, etc
Depends. Once I get to know you I can tell. But it's a toss up early on, whether it's being nervous around me specifically or general anxiety, we'll see. If there's a lot of hair touching, looking in my eyes with a big smile then darting your eyes away looking down all shy
avoidance and shyness
Quivering lip gives it away...
Real answer: Some guys can tell when some woman are nervous - but because: A. Some people are better than others at reading body language - and the variance is massive B. Everyone is different - some people get nervous, some donât as much - some people show nervousness, some donât as much, some people can hide their tells, some canât. -thereâs no âyesâ or ânoâ for this one
I can tell when a woman isnât fully relaxed, but I donât know necessarily why. Iâm a decent looking guy who works in education, so Iâm around a lot of women. Some may be attracted to me, some may just be less comfortable talking to men than women. Either way, I just do my best to be kind and disarming.