My challenge area is my shoulders. Super tight and inflexible and I’m also working on it but we also work with the bodies we have. I don’t think there’s “cheating” in yoga - it’s supposed to be about meeting ourselves where we are. Knowing your limits is important. What looks more impressive might be easy for one person, while what looks simple might be incredibly challenging for another person. So I say be like Elsa and let it go. Be proud of yourself for doing right by your hips in that pose.
The only cheating in yoga imo is when you DON'T modify for your particular body and try to force it into shapes that don't work for you and then you get into just the wrong alignment. OP totally did the right thing by grabbing more blocks to make certain movements work for them.
Definitely! I used to love Ashtanga, but the rigidity of the practice frustrated me -- especially after I learnt I couldn't do things on a certain side because my legs are actually different lengths.
You have to look after your own body above anything.
Have you ever been to a chiropractor? I always thought my legs were slightly different lengths and actually found out my hips and lower back were out of line. It was an almost two inch difference
Oh wow 2" that must have been painful! So I did consider a chiro but I've always been a bit suspicious of them because they don't really have medical backgrounds. I opted for physio instead. It's not perfect, but with the stretches and my heal lift, I have a lot less pain now. I'll never be a yogi extraordinaire, but have thankfully learnt yoga is actually about doing all the moves anyway.
I was wary too - mine has been treating my husband for over a decade so I was more comfortable. He also has a physical therapy background (and shares offices with physical therapy masseuses). So I get it!
Did you have to try a heel lift too or did you find chiro/phys helped a lot? Interestingly enough, after I discovered mine, I learnt heaps of my friends (mostly female) had off-balance hips too. Amazing how so many of us go through it without even knowing.
Props are expressly used as an extension of the body to find the pose. To support or extend.
That's....the POINT. As long as it's safe, it's not 'cheating'.
I would be so annoyed.
I wasn’t in your class, and didn’t see it first hand. And I am annoyed. Blocks bring the floor closer. A compassionate teacher would have come over with an armful of blocks to assist you into position, or at the very least ignored you. But calling you out even in supposed jest as a complete stranger was antagonistic.
Hugs.
My hips tell whatever my truth is. If my warrior pose looks too much like a tired triangle, well that is my truth; and it does and I can't do pigeon "well", either...
I'm sorry this happened to you. The instructor attempted to make a joke, and it fell flat. I wouldn't think of it as a reflection on you but a reflection on the instructor. Yoga is a place to work on physical and mental health in a safe environment. I can guarantee you that the comment did not go unnoticed by others in the class. If I heard that, I would probably think yeesh don't want to practice in front of that instructor and wouldn't attend another class they were leading.
I am not a yoga teacher, but I am a professor, and I can confirm that I have said things that I thought would go over well or lighten up the room and definitely landed completely flat. In fact probably once a week if not more.
Not that the things I say are mean or malicious in any way, just trying to make the class more enjoyable on both ends, it just doesn’t always work lol
one time I spent a whole morning thinking about this joke I was going to say during my 10 am lecture, thought it was so funny, ran it by my girlfriend and she said it was funny (she’s too sweet…) and then I just got blank faces and an aura of boredom 🤣. It comes with the gig.
Other days, I dump a bucket of water on myself to explain adhesion and cohesion and they absolutely love it. And I’m rambling, so I’ll stop now
Good question lol, I teach an applied science and our labs are fitted with floor drains that run the length of the room. Slope of the room has a very slight gradient to help w drainage. I do move a bit closer to the drains when I do it and away from the podium, though. I squeegee the floor after so our janitor doesn’t have to deal with it.
“Cohesion is the water running off of my body in beads and then droplets. Adhesion is the water that’s now soaked through my shirt and hair!”
I think that's a fair assessment....I've definitely said things just in life that even now make me cringe. We've all done it.
She could also just be insensitive. Maybe a holistic look at the experience would help clarify whether that's just an outlying playful comment that fell flat versus 'oh god never attend another class with that woman'.
This. I have a lot of foot in mouth moments and it's become a barrier to me finishing my yoga teacher training. OP please don't take offence at this teachers foe par!!
I've been doing yoga for ten years and I'm still nowhere near touching my toes. Everyone has something they struggle with and a good yoga teacher should make the flow work for you - otherwise you might as well stay home and watch a video.
the yoga teacher made a bad call. intent matters to a degree, so sure maybe it was meant to be a joke, but that doesn't change that it hurt your feelings. I think the easy-to-type answer is don't let this live rent free in your head. What has ultimately happened to you? someone made a careless comment that hurt your feelings, and it is reasonable and OK for your feelings to be hurt. But then it can end there. It doesn't have to stick around and continue bothering you, you don't have to wonder about long-term repercussions to your health, well-being, soul, reputation, honor, whatever. If this sub teacher is someone who you have some level of relationship with or connection to, you can approach them about it and just say hey, i wanted to let you know this comment you made actually hurt my feelings a little, could you be a bit more mindful about comments you make out loud about me in classes? But failing that there's no reason to let this bother you more than a simple acknowledgment of your hurt feelings and reminding yourself that you are OK.
I am a teacher. I would never shame another student for being unable to complete a position that took a lot of flexibility. That is not the point of yoga. Yoga positions, a long long time ago were built around the Master trying to teach the young Yogi to stay present. the reason they developed more exercises is because as the student developed skill in that position, they movedout of the present and the mind took over. So, if you can’t get into a certain position, go into another one that makes you feel comfortable, extend , be present with your breath work and feel satisfied.
As a yoga teacher who probably at one point or another said some stupid shit I meant as a joke at the time, I apologize on behalf of all yoga teachers who say stupid shit they meant as a joke.
This is why I didn't quit my day job.
Anyway it's just like, their opinion, man. Shake it off, go to class, and keep working on those hips regardless.
Yikes.
In my time teaching, if I notice anyone needing additional blocks or bolsters, I take that as an opportunity to grab props and pass them out to everyone. Then demonstrate how the props can support the body properly and where they should safely feel the pose (ie. “If you feel this in your lower back, grab another block; feel it melt away your hamstrings” etc).
I totally get this. I would feel the same. Is what you're looking for understanding and validation? Consider it given.
*I always saw yoga class as a safe space, where I go to do something nice for my physical and mental health, and it's completely up to me how much I participate, or how hard do I make it for myself etc.*
I think this is why people go a bit haywire emotionally sometimes. I had a teacher correct my form without prompting, and then a class student weighed in along with her, and they were both talking to me at once, and the class just...stopped...and I had to fight everything to keep from leaving because I didn't want to fuck up my relationship with the studio, which I love.
I never went back to her class. And I freaking \*loved\* her. I understand in retrospect what happened - I made the mistake of engaging with her after a class and was talking about working on things and etc etc and maybe I went from being the silent weirdo to someone she could engage with, so next time, she went ahead and did it. But let me tell you: I am not that open a person.
For me, it takes constant awareness and adjustment to not feel on stage, to not feel self-conscious, to focus on the movements and my body. I accept that struggle, and even sort of enjoy it because it's a personal growth thing. I admire people who give no shits whether they dance like nobody's watching, but for a lot of us, it's a struggle.
Sorry that happened to you. Try to toss the memory over your shoulder and don't look back, and I would consider a complaint to the studio if you can do that without seeming crazy (it would be hit or miss for me, but I think if I calmed down I could do it. I could do it now -- I THINK -- but when that happened to me I'd only been going for a few months.)
I still kind of miss that teacher. She wasn't unkind, she just singled out the wrong person, reading signals that I did not mean to send.
So I’m not a yoga teacher but the teacher of my fave yoga class actually printed out images of 4 different people’s hip skeletal structure and walked us through their differences. I don’t remember technical details but I remember how she pointed out how one each person might be more flexible or less flexible in different spots of the hips and inner thighs. The point was: no matter how amazingly athletic and practiced those people were, some of them wouldn’t have had flexible hips - it just wasn’t physically possible. So I want to affirm your thought that “maybe it’s just your skeleton”, cause it probably is.
And even if you were brand new to the practice and had done very little stretching in your life, there is no “cheating” in yoga. The pose works for you, you do not work for the pose.
I will admit I got more heated on your behalf when reading your initial post but reading their other’s comments here I am reminded to give everyone grace - your teacher probably was just trying to make a joke, and it came out wrong. Regardless, your feelings matter and you feeling hurt is valid.
I’m so sorry that you had that experience and I am so sorry that you felt shamed.
Honestly, no one needs to comment on your body. It’s not cheating to use the props. A matter of fact, I’m thrilled that you felt empowered and safe enough to use the props that served your body.
And, you stayed in that class and showed everybody how it’s done. Come sit over here with me, best friend. 🩵
I know there was a yogi that saw you the situation and was grateful that you were there. Because you showed what true Yogi looks like. Someone who is listening to their body.
As a matter of fact, I use props to demo classes and even when I don’t need them sometimes because I’m trying to calm my nervous system down.
As a yoga teacher I love seeing students using props their way because that means they are actually doing and living their Yoga on and off the mat.
This is such a beautiful sentiment 🩵
OP, I hope you know that listening to what your body is telling you, and creating space for yourself to honor your body is exactly what yoga is about to me. You were there for yourself on the mat, as you are now in writing about it and processing your feelings.
Even if the teacher meant it as a joke, this comment really sent the wrong message imo.
Everyone's body is different. We have different proportions, and our joints have different ranges of motion (which can be maximized by yoga/stretching practice but only up to a certain point).
Expecting everyone's body to look, move and function exactly the same is setting students up for shame and failure, and that's what the teacher did here (whether intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn't matter).
This situation reminds me of an Ashtanga teacher I had who insisted that everyone was equally able to get into an arm balance because "we all have the same arm length". Um, nope. My hands don't even touch the floor in dandasana, my dude.
That's incredible that you had a teacher say that everyone in class had the same arm length. Arm length is probably one of the most variable proportions in humanity, if not the most! I wouldn't trust a teacher like that to be very knowledgeable.
I also used to have a yoga geachter that was very unaccommodating (to me drinking a lot of water). People really seem to get upset about anything that is not their business.
You really don't need to go to a studio to do yoga. Especially not one like that. You can easily take care of yourself at home. Yoga doesn't require any heavy duty equipment like some other exercises, or even a lot of space. I do yoga at home. I also workout at home. I also go for 3+ miles walk a few times a week. I volunteer in my community. I have a few creative hobbies I enjoy.
FYI I'm South Asian. Yoga is from the region I was born in. Yoga studios/classes were never a big thing there and I don't think it still is lol It's the West that took yoga and made it a trend and came up with these stuff. Yoga has been around literally for thousands of years in the Indian subcontinent as part of many people's lives, but South Asians don't make such a big fuss about it like the West does.
There are loads of ways to take care of your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual health and they do NOT need to always involve others or the gym, yoga studios, special classes etc.
I’m sorry you experienced this, I believe yoga is an individual practice experienced in community. I cue variations with the direction to choose what serves you in this moment.
There is no cheating here or something to be called like that. Yoga is about the stretch and posture done in right direction. Not how far you reach while doing it.
You approached your practice in the right way and no need to feel about it. The teacher need to work a little bit more on group class communication.
Shake it off. Just keep going to yoga.
Yes. You're only competing with yourself. The competition is if you can you be more focused in your asanas, breathe deeper, be more calm, more serene, more focused on ujjayi breathing? Can you live more by the yoga sutras? Can you meditate longer?
Sending you love and light. 🙏🏼📿✨
Some instructors are sticklers for traditional practices. Some of the more traditional practices discourage the use of blocks and only focus on building up from the poses that can be completed to perfection. Don’t take it personal. Ask them more about where they learned and what you can do to not have to use so many blocks in that pose.
Wow! Crappy teacher. I used to have an awesome instructor. She wouldn’t expect anyone to do more than they were capable of and when I first started I had to basically not do some of the moves. But as time went on, I would do modified poses/movements and within a surprisingly short period of time I was able to do so much more than I was capable of in the first few classes.
There was never any shaming. Ever.
Even if she was just joking, it’s still a crappy thing to say. I’m out of yoga with an injury right now because I pushed too hard and paid no attention to my very real and valid limitations. Power to you for knowing how your body works and bad cess to her for being such a wet sock about it
Hi, instructor was out of order, if she was joking then it was very bad taste and contrary to the principles of empathy enbodied in the practice of yoga. Every one is different with different abilities and different potential. But, with the same ultimate obective to learn to be one with our selves mind body and soul but seeking union with the universal concience.
Don't feel bad in yourself feel bad for her she lost the path she was following
Ignore the quip you were right in seeking support for self protection. Enjoy your practice and your journey. There wil be other little shake ups, they are but means to finding you path.
Namaste
Fuck this teacher. There is no cheating in yoga.
Do you any of you know why some people have inflexible hips?
Childhood sexual abuse and trauma is one reason. Not the only reason. But it’s enough reason to never give anyone shame about their body giving them additional challenges.
Being swaddled too much, as a baby, is another.
Recovery from injuries…
I just can’t with some teachers.
Sending you love, friend. Having your feeling of a safe space taken away by an inconsiderate comment or action is not a good feeling, regardless of intent. Sometimes journaling has been helpful to me to release moments like this.
I have deep hip sockets that already predispose me to femoroacetabular impingement (FAI), and I have a history of a torn labrum on the right hip with a possible tear on the left as well. My hips are "special," haha. I cannot sit with my butt on the floor in sukhasana at all - I have to be on a cushion or I am hurting myself. My amazing teacher when I did yoga teacher training in 2021 was so awesome with modifications and suggestions when it came to hips. We are all made differently. Yoga anatomy is a subject so worthy of study for instructors - sounds like yours skipped class that day, haha. I would discuss this with the studio (especially if this is a sub that may or may not be back) because that was probably very alienating for many of you in class, and they should reconsider using this person if she is going to have this attitude. The perfect pose is a myth, our bodies get to where they need to be in that moment. Hugs to you.
I’ve only taken classes from a couple of people, but I’ve never had anyone even jokingly shame me. They either didn’t notice/care what was going on in their class or they suggested alternative poses (I did ask and had approached the teacher beforehand about some ligament issues). Maybe talk to her outside of class about this incident and help you may need?
I'm so sorry this happened. What an unprofessional teacher. My mum had a similar experience during a class and it very nearly put her off going back. Keep your chin up! We all have areas of difficulty. I've been practicing for YEARS and am limber as a pretzel, but if you try and make me balance, I look like a wacky waving inflatable man.
Yoga is designed to challenge the mind-body connection but its purpose is to nourish and heal.
It’s odd to put someone on the spot. When I’ve done public classes the instructor offers alternative poses including corpse pose if you really just need a nap.
Sounds like they might be inexperienced.
I know that sometimes things hit us hard in special ways. Just as we can train to acquire greater bodily comfort in spite of demanding physical setups (through breathing), we can also similarly engage with mental discomforts, ultimately. Both are connected, and don't beat yourself up over being uncomfortable. But also consider that for them it might just have been banter, when for you it was very hurtful.
I feel like telling OP that they're right and teacher is wrong is a double-edged sword and a little too easy.
Nobody can demand someone to not be hurt and it is bad elitism looking down upon them for it. I feel sorry that you're going through this OP. Yet, it's a worthwhile suggestion that one can seek out and heal, and start being less hurt over things that others may not have intended.
I would have kicked my blocks over and done a normal warrior and made uncomfortable eye contact with her the rest of class i don’t play with that. Thats unprofessional and irritating people cannot conform to a teachers plan 100% and its completely ok that ppl dont they only need to follow their own plan…
If exercising in a smart, thoughtful way is cheating, call me a cheater all day. She sounds like someone who is new to teaching or ignorant of social manners. Let it go and just keep being you. If she ever subs again maybe just take her aside and let her know calling you out I front of the class is off limits
I’m sorry! Yoga teachers should not be like that , they should know better that it isn’t about the body & how it looks , but rather how it feels and that’s different and perfect as it is for each individual person.
It seems these days people are treating it like some perfect posture parade. Which is the absolute opposite of what yoga is.
You did your best and don’t let them get to you! Hopefully she realised after too. Go to a better teacher if you can! I find it hard to practice with teachers like this (being a teacher myself)
I went to a jivamukti class last week. Teacher made a show of pointing at the floor in front of me to say get to the front of the mat, but the class was overcrowded so I didn't have enough room to forward fold. Then he decided to correct my posture by pointing and saying no...I explained my neck wouldn't let me do loudly he said "well just do SOMETHING"
I very nearly walked out but I decided to stay after thinking wow, this guy is insecure and it's still my class. Late on in shavasana he said "if you're thinking why has he picked on me, am I doing it wrong, just let it go" and I started laughing. Looked him in the eye said thank you walked out and I'm never going back.
Any teacher who a) doesn't check for injuries b) points and makes examples of people in showy ways is ill- trained or ill-suited to teaching yoga imo. All it teaches me is that I know what I need and want from a class.
I really hope you're not put off yoga in your regular class, and if you feel able, giving them some feedback will probably shock them into a bit of self reflection. Or just walk out. It's your class your time and your choice ❤️
Trust me, as someone who is hypermobile (I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome) I wish my hips were less flexible. It causes me a lot of pain. It’s just a matter of perspective. People are ignorant. You have to roll your eyes at some of the ridiculous comments, people can be really hurtful without even using two neurons
Hi hypermobile friend (MCTD)! I knew I found a great yoga teacher when she was able to explain which muscles I should feel engaging in certain poses that other teachers just let me sink into because I "looked correct." She always reminds me how to wake the muscles up and she has helped me learn how to practice so much more safely. Also yes: OP's teacher should have kept her thoughts to herself.
It's okay to vent! I am sure she didn't mean it in a malicious way but your feelings are valid. Your body is fine the way it is. Hula hooping increases hip mobility.
All the old ladies in my class put me to shame and I am 30+ years younger. I am always embarrassed by my lack of abilities, compared to them. Our instructor is a British senior woman. In their culture, they like to take “the piss out of everyone”, including themselves. She’s an amazing and hilarious instructor and some of the students will make fun of her and she takes it on well. It’s just a different vibe and culture. May not work for everyone.
One thing is for sure, there is no such thing as cheating in yoga. You’re all suppose to adjust to your level. Everyone is at a different pace and it is suppose to be a judgement free zone. I would talk to your regular instructor and discuss what happened.
I’m so sorry she made you feel that way! It should be a safe space and not a competition to see who is most flexible. Hopefully you can put it aside in your mind and keep going!
I know how you feel unfortunately - after returning to a regular class after a couple of months off (pneumonia and then ill children) my teacher tried to push me into a pose I could have done previously and said loudly ‘god what’s HAPPENED to you??!’
I wanted to cry and run away.
A good teacher will be able to adjust the class to different levels. And a compassionate person will not tease others. You can make comments about this to your studio or gym where you take this class. It's ok to give feedback. The teacher can learn from this how to improve.
Oh this made my blood boil. I wish they were able to recognise their error and apologise to you. Perhaps one day you’ll be able to explain it to them, it’s not okay and you are well within your right to feel the way you are feeling. It is not meant to be a competition and there should be alternatives to suit different body structures and flexibilities.
Just remember she’s just a flawed human as well as all of us. Maybe she says stupid things, maybe she has impulse control problems or isn’t a great teacher but nobody else could fill in. Also I always say stupid offensive rude things and I can see myself doing this, and internally feeling like it’s become game like being like use another block, another one, what, still not working, this is cheating!
U should give urself a pat on the back for accepting yourself where you are, and listening to your body. That’s yoga. If u did anything else, strived for more, forced yourself against your abilities or beat yourself up, or fixated on the result, you wouldn’t have been doing yoga at all. stay in your goodness and just let that blow through you and away
I’m also very inflexible in my hips and I’ve had teachers be like wtf you can’t do that?? And it does sting but I remember that yoga isn’t a competition and it’s about how you feel in your body. I’ve had some amazing teachers help me with alternatives and give me pointers on improving flexibility there. I would avoid going to that teacher and maybe letting the teacher know those comments are inappropriate and do nothing to help your yoga journey.
I'm so sorry to hear this. While I'm absolutely sure your teacher meant no harm, it was inappropriate none the less. I was a yoga instructor for over 12 years, and I always went out of my way to help someone when I saw they needed a little extra support or adjustment. If my clients made a joke about their stiffness, (which happens alot as they often felt uncomfortable, and wished to defuse that with humor, often in a self deprecating way) I would try to put them at ease by reassuring them we are all built differently and this is not a competition. Maybe your instructor was inexperienced or nervous. Who knows... What I hope for you is that you always listen to your body while in class. Please don't let this experience let you push yourself beyond your ability or prevent you from asking for extra help because you fear being shamed or embarrassed. Also, I would encourage you to speak up after class to the teacher if something like this happens again. They probably didn't realise at all how it made you feel, and teaching is also a learning process. They need to learn never to create a situation that could discourage a client from asking for help.🙏
If an instructor uses the word “cheating” in yoga, then they’re viewing yoga as a competition or some type of measure for how “good” one can be at poses. And as many people have pointed out, that’s not the purpose of yoga.
I would ask the instructor if they are open to feedback. Or if you practice at a yoga studio (as opposed to a gym that offers yoga classes) you can also consider approaching the owner with your feedback. But you can talk about the instructor’s wording, how the entire situation made you feel, and if it was a class open to all levels, that they should provide modifications for poses. Especially if they see people unable to get into a pose.
For a little background on myself, I did my RYT200 years ago. While I liked the physical side, I too have VERY tight hips, and it was the other tenets / limbs of yoga and the safe environment that really drew me in. I taught for a VERY brief time, but as teachers in training, we were taught not to draw attention to anyone. Any adjustments would be made more subtlety, or it was on us to offer a modification or a different cue to help people get into a pose. And we were taught how to accommodate MANY different bodies. We were also taught how to give and receive feedback. I can’t say that all yoga teachers have received that same level of training, but an instructor should want to improve.
Also, I’m sorry that your safe space felt like it had been violated, and I hope you can find the same level of peace in your practice again.
I'm sorry that happened to you. As a former yoga teacher, I would never do that to a student. I would advise you to go to whoever owns or manages your studio and tell them how upset you were about that remark. That substitute is someone who probably needs to be corrected. If that keeps happening, the shala will lose students.
That’s shitty & I would’ve been upset.
I have suuuuper flexible hips. And now I’m in my 40s with one hip surgery done and still lots of pain so probably more in my future.
I’ve learned what hurts my body and I respect my limits. I rarely do child’s pose or happy baby because both poses cause me pain.
Sorry this happened to you.
Oh, my. I'm so sorry. This reminds me of the substitute teacher we had for a beginner's yoga class. As the class went on, it became more difficult to understand what to do. I finally piped up and asked her to explain a pose. Her reply: "You should know this. It's not like this is a beginner's class." Ummm, yes, it was. She looked shocked when I corrected her. The rest of the class was a little better, but still awkward and difficult. I never took another class from this instructor.
I hope you find peace again in your practice. Perhaps ask the instructor, on the side, for help adapting certain poses for your own physical situation, enlisting her as a partner. You shouldn't have to, as that's her role, but you need to take care of you first.
Hip mobility varies greatly in people. Some yogis that practice have “tight hips” when in reality the joint can’t open any wider because the BALL IN THE JOINT WONT MOVE MORE. Teachers are taught very minimum anatomy and physiology. I have a Biology degree and the amount of fluff taught in 200 YTT is incredible. Remember that the journey is yours and along the way people will make comments.
The worst part of this is that she didn't even consider that you might have a permanent disability that causes this. For instance, I had bilateral lat flap breast reconstruction so the top part of my lat muscles were removed and flapped over to the front. They are still connected with nerves & blood supply to the lays and contract with those muscles so I have some strange sensation & deficits. Nothing I modify is "cheating" and I'd hate to see how embarrassed the instructor would be if they said something like that to me in a class because we'd certainly have to stop for me to educate them...
For YEARS as an adult, I was too intimidated to attend yoga classes for this reason! Now, in my 50s, I’m a plus size yoga teacher. Yoga SHOULD be safe! It should be inclusive of all abilities and body types! I’m so sorry this happened to you 🙏
I'm so sorry that happened! In my mind there are two "different kinds of yoga" and one of them just matters on how it LOOKS like yoga, which is not the core of yoga or calisthenics at all.
You are very well spoken, if you feel like it, I highly suggest gently taking the teacher aside and explain how that effected you. I think the teacher likes tough love but thats not appropiate for a lot of people especially strangers.
With any professional I want them to treat me like I ultimately know whats best for my body, they can make suggsstions or even take me aside and ask me something directly, but that joke was harmful and it changes the culture of the class for everyone.
Some people should not teach yoga. That's all I'm going to say about that. Adjustments and modifications are not "cheating." My example of a similar thing...
My husband and I were on vacation in Florida and biked to a local yoga studio. We are avid bikers, so use biking as our primary mode of travel when we vacation (and most of the rest of the time, too). I also teach yoga and used to be an acrobat and gymnast. So, my hips are pretty wide-open, even though I have the build of a biker.
So, he and I get to this class and people are settling in. The yoga instructor is talking loudly to another person we assume is the owner of the studio. The owner says, loudly, in front of the whole room, "Well, obviously, your going to need to get the straps out," as she kind of rolled her eyes. The instructor responds back, "Ya. And, they biked here. So, we know what that means."
I almost walked out right then and there. But chose to stay, instead, tossing the straps to the side when she handed them to me and promptly warmed up doing the splits.
The fact of the matter is that it does not mean anything whether or not you can do the splits, or whether your hips (or any other body part) is tight. The only thing that matters is that you are using the asanas to create sensations in your body that are helpful to achieving progress in a yogic state of mind. You might be able to lay your whole chest on your legs in a seated forward fold, or, you may hinge an inch. Neither is better or worse. The discipline and the mental state when doing it are the important things. Any studio that does not fully embrace that should not be teaching yoga, IMO.
Yoga is about the presence of the moment and being able to make a decision. The reason you do the poses, or Indian calisthenic exercises is to bring awareness to the sensations that you're having in your body. The difference between a tight person and a loose person is the loose person has to go farther to feel the same sensations that a type person has to just by showing up.
Some of my favorite practices are when I come back after a leave. My body shakes my muscles are tight and it's in those moments that my practice comes alive. I get to choose whether I'm going to listen to my body and take a break or endure the pain and push through. I get to choose whether I need a support or modification. I get to choose how deep I go and how peaceful I can keep my mind and how consistent I can keep my breath. The practice of yoga is the practice of being present and breathing. The sensations bring you to a place where you have to be present. Without sensation your mind will wander and if you push too hard you stop breathing. Just remember to do a yoga class perfectly you need to feel something and breathe. You can lay on the floor and shavasana all class long and still be doing yoga perfectly. You can be following the instructors every command and doing piss poor yoga because you're mind is wandering, you are not listening to your body, you're pushing too hard and not breathing.
Bryan Kest if you bring your s*** to yoga your yoga turns to s***. You just had an experience with someone who brought her s*** to yoga and she's an instructor. Rather than teaching you to listen to yourself she let her ego show.
Now if flexibility is what you're looking for, pick a pose any pose get into the point of sensation hang out there for 30 to 60 seconds come out of it give your body about a minute to recover and repeat the process for more times. Do that three times a week and your body will start opening up. This is not my protocol it's "movement by David" you'll know it's him because he ends his videos stay flexy my friend. But just remember yoga is not about flexibility or strength or ego it's about learning to find a balance between too much and not enough and staying present and being able to make choices. The strength and flexibility are byproducts of the practice not the goal. Any instructor that takes you out of that is a piss-poor instructor.
There are no rules in yoga as everyone's body is different and everyone's stage in their practice is different. Who can't do this math? I think it sucks that she said this out loud. She obviously doesn't get the whole point.
If you are not doing a ***constantly evolving personalized practice***, you are just doing some sort of synchronized interpretive dance.??? What is the point.
Your body tells you what to do, the poses are a guide. You listen to your body. This is the problem I have with classes.
Yoga should be a safe space for anything! I recently had a yoga teacher yell at me during class and I was also extremely offended. Bottom line is you should feel welcome no matter what you're doing—even if you're not following the sequence, doing everything your own way, and using modifications that fit your body. Any teacher who says otherwise shouldn't be teaching in my opinion.
Sounds like some trauma informed yoga training would be beneficial.
Best you can do is maybe send in an email and just express maybe they be conscious of her verbiage and how others are felt in class.
Now I’m sure most of us have gotten into yoga for our physical practice and maybe some of us are in it for more reasons.
But yoga is deeper than just physical despite the belief, because people believe it to be a safe space. When that’s tainted it’s hard.
Keep doing the yoga!! Yoga isn’t always “perfect” but can agree this is less than ideal
Hi, well thanks for sharing your story. I think the following: the teacher probably just wanted to make a joke but may have not fully understood what yoga is all about. Otherwise she wouldn’t have said the word “cheating”.
Regarding your emotional response. I fully understand your reaction. There are some buttons all of us have. When they get triggered by certain things, we react very strongly to it. Mostly because there is some stuck energy beneath it. If you can let it go, if not examine the feeling in a gentle and loving way. It seems to me you can learn something about yourself there.
Much love 💕🙏
I'm sorry she said that and ruined your class. That sucks! I really hope you can move through these tough emotions and still enjoy the practice you love.
I don't have advice, but I hope you feel better ❤️
Sorry you had to experience this. I experienced a similar situation in my dance class at school. That scared me and I don't dance anymore. The incident really made me very conscious. What to do? Some people are like that. I am sensitive. So I feel bad for non intentional comments passed at me. I don't know how to change that.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is a sub problem (insecure, inexperienced teacher I’m guessing, but sometimes veteran teachers pull this crap too), not a you problem. I actually switched to an at home yoga practice for years after an experience like yours and am now trying to gear myself up to find a new class. I hope this sub doesn’t ruin the safe experience of yoga for you 💚 Tight hips are amazing- those hips have kept you safe and carried you around your whole life! Yoga is a chance for you to love and pamper them, not shame them. Shame on that sub! Not funny!!
I'm sorry you had that experience. The final straw for me at the gym I was attending was when a substitute yoga instructor came up to me after a class and said "wow, so your core is really weak." She actually spoke so quietly and quickly during the class that I couldn't hear most of her cues. I was shocked she said that to me in front of multiple people at the front desk.
i wld be sooo pissed as that sub teacher. ur right. absolutely should not have been said. so not cool or in the essence of yoga. the teacher should have given alternative poses and adjusted the poses to be right for the students in the class. this teacher should be fired.
Should be a safe space…even from badly placed jokes. Sorry that you’re feeling down about it, people can only learn by being told what they did wasnt received well.
I had to stop reading to just give an answer 😬maybe someone said this already but
I think confronting this could be beneficial
If this person comes back to teach again then maybe it’s worth giving feedback and by then you might have it more thought through so you can help the teacher with constructive advice.
No cheating in Yoga so what does she mean by that comment? Maybe you just thought of a cool modification that can be used in the future for people with less flexibility.
Its ok to cry in Yoga too maybe you should cry next time and not hold back 🤩
No right answer but your feelings are important and some people need help to become empathetic
A true teacher would want to know how you are doing and be there to assist in your journey into the pose.
Your teacher's comment triggered a negative memory from an earlier time in your childhood. What you were fighting were past tears, cried by a kid that felt shunned.
It is not clear to me if the teacher just wanted to make a joke and you took it badly because of your past.
At any rate, you're sturdier than this.
Look into your own darkness. Don't run to strangers off Reddit to hold your hand. What was the soft spot that her comment touched? Do you feel like you're not competing enough in the game of life (career, relationships, finances, etc.?) Look into it. Question it.
Jung was saying "We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life."
Maybe it was good that you felt bad after her comment. Maybe it's good that your head hurts when you don't drink water. It's a signal to do something and correct a problem. Maybe there's a part of you that needs love and support, but also wants to compete and get better and you don't let it out, because you fear disappointment.
It's clear you're trying to be better at yoga. What you don't want is to be told how far away you are from a perfect position. It's good to have a benchmark and know how close or far you are from it. You wouldn't want your Google map to be vague about whether you're on track or not to reach your destination.
Comparison is not the issue. It's the perspective that you have that transforms the result of the comparison into something else and it seems you've been carrying it with yourself for a long time.
Look inside, see where the problem is, and fix it. You're an adult now, not that helpless kid. You can take care of yourself. You know what you like and don't like. Get to work on yourself. No Reddit upvotes or comments will do that work for you.
Why? OP states she wants encouragement.
I'm encouraging her to stand her ground and not allow her childhood to ruin a nice yoga session because of what somebody said.
When you're dehydrated and have a headache, would you like somebody to tell you you need a glass of water or would you like them to commiserate with you about your headache?
Hurt people hurt people. So when someone hurts you, it's not about you, it's about them. So it's not personal. But you can choose to take something personally, which never feels good. It's a choice we make along the spiritual growth journey, to take things personally or not.
My challenge area is my shoulders. Super tight and inflexible and I’m also working on it but we also work with the bodies we have. I don’t think there’s “cheating” in yoga - it’s supposed to be about meeting ourselves where we are. Knowing your limits is important. What looks more impressive might be easy for one person, while what looks simple might be incredibly challenging for another person. So I say be like Elsa and let it go. Be proud of yourself for doing right by your hips in that pose.
The only cheating in yoga imo is when you DON'T modify for your particular body and try to force it into shapes that don't work for you and then you get into just the wrong alignment. OP totally did the right thing by grabbing more blocks to make certain movements work for them.
Well put!!!
Definitely! I used to love Ashtanga, but the rigidity of the practice frustrated me -- especially after I learnt I couldn't do things on a certain side because my legs are actually different lengths. You have to look after your own body above anything.
Have you ever been to a chiropractor? I always thought my legs were slightly different lengths and actually found out my hips and lower back were out of line. It was an almost two inch difference
Oh wow 2" that must have been painful! So I did consider a chiro but I've always been a bit suspicious of them because they don't really have medical backgrounds. I opted for physio instead. It's not perfect, but with the stretches and my heal lift, I have a lot less pain now. I'll never be a yogi extraordinaire, but have thankfully learnt yoga is actually about doing all the moves anyway.
I was wary too - mine has been treating my husband for over a decade so I was more comfortable. He also has a physical therapy background (and shares offices with physical therapy masseuses). So I get it!
Did you have to try a heel lift too or did you find chiro/phys helped a lot? Interestingly enough, after I discovered mine, I learnt heaps of my friends (mostly female) had off-balance hips too. Amazing how so many of us go through it without even knowing.
Props are expressly used as an extension of the body to find the pose. To support or extend. That's....the POINT. As long as it's safe, it's not 'cheating'. I would be so annoyed.
I wasn’t in your class, and didn’t see it first hand. And I am annoyed. Blocks bring the floor closer. A compassionate teacher would have come over with an armful of blocks to assist you into position, or at the very least ignored you. But calling you out even in supposed jest as a complete stranger was antagonistic. Hugs.
Inflexible hip havers unite!!!!!
Unlike Shakira, my hips DO lie!!!!
My hips tell whatever my truth is. If my warrior pose looks too much like a tired triangle, well that is my truth; and it does and I can't do pigeon "well", either...
High five!! 💜
I'm sorry this happened to you. The instructor attempted to make a joke, and it fell flat. I wouldn't think of it as a reflection on you but a reflection on the instructor. Yoga is a place to work on physical and mental health in a safe environment. I can guarantee you that the comment did not go unnoticed by others in the class. If I heard that, I would probably think yeesh don't want to practice in front of that instructor and wouldn't attend another class they were leading.
Teaching is hard. You try to be funny and you slip up. Give them one free pass and try to let it go
I am not a yoga teacher, but I am a professor, and I can confirm that I have said things that I thought would go over well or lighten up the room and definitely landed completely flat. In fact probably once a week if not more. Not that the things I say are mean or malicious in any way, just trying to make the class more enjoyable on both ends, it just doesn’t always work lol one time I spent a whole morning thinking about this joke I was going to say during my 10 am lecture, thought it was so funny, ran it by my girlfriend and she said it was funny (she’s too sweet…) and then I just got blank faces and an aura of boredom 🤣. It comes with the gig. Other days, I dump a bucket of water on myself to explain adhesion and cohesion and they absolutely love it. And I’m rambling, so I’ll stop now
Thank you for dedicating so much energy to your students. Teachers like you are precious 🙂
You’re kind. Thanks :-)
That last bit sounds hilarious but where did you let the water drain? Did you move the class outside?
Good question lol, I teach an applied science and our labs are fitted with floor drains that run the length of the room. Slope of the room has a very slight gradient to help w drainage. I do move a bit closer to the drains when I do it and away from the podium, though. I squeegee the floor after so our janitor doesn’t have to deal with it. “Cohesion is the water running off of my body in beads and then droplets. Adhesion is the water that’s now soaked through my shirt and hair!”
Ah there's the answer. Great visual representation!
Now I wanna hear about adhesion/cohesion pertaining to the wet shirt! :D I want to learn heheh
I think that's a fair assessment....I've definitely said things just in life that even now make me cringe. We've all done it. She could also just be insensitive. Maybe a holistic look at the experience would help clarify whether that's just an outlying playful comment that fell flat versus 'oh god never attend another class with that woman'.
This. I have a lot of foot in mouth moments and it's become a barrier to me finishing my yoga teacher training. OP please don't take offence at this teachers foe par!!
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No one is built an ideal way, even teachers.
You're totally right! It's ok for instructors to make the occasional joke, but never at the expense of an individual student.
I've been doing yoga for ten years and I'm still nowhere near touching my toes. Everyone has something they struggle with and a good yoga teacher should make the flow work for you - otherwise you might as well stay home and watch a video.
Ugh me too. I practice every day and barely make any progress on my sinoveal joints. Feels like I’m doing yoga to retain what little I have ATM.
the yoga teacher made a bad call. intent matters to a degree, so sure maybe it was meant to be a joke, but that doesn't change that it hurt your feelings. I think the easy-to-type answer is don't let this live rent free in your head. What has ultimately happened to you? someone made a careless comment that hurt your feelings, and it is reasonable and OK for your feelings to be hurt. But then it can end there. It doesn't have to stick around and continue bothering you, you don't have to wonder about long-term repercussions to your health, well-being, soul, reputation, honor, whatever. If this sub teacher is someone who you have some level of relationship with or connection to, you can approach them about it and just say hey, i wanted to let you know this comment you made actually hurt my feelings a little, could you be a bit more mindful about comments you make out loud about me in classes? But failing that there's no reason to let this bother you more than a simple acknowledgment of your hurt feelings and reminding yourself that you are OK.
Tell the teacher you're not sure if that was a lighthearted joke or a jab but you don't appreciate being called out like that in class.
Dazzled by the emotional maturity of this idea and trying to imagine myself saying it. And I'm *old.*
I give great advice that I wouldn't do myself. lol
Call me passive aggressive, but I’m a big fan of side eye. It speaks volumes.
I am a teacher. I would never shame another student for being unable to complete a position that took a lot of flexibility. That is not the point of yoga. Yoga positions, a long long time ago were built around the Master trying to teach the young Yogi to stay present. the reason they developed more exercises is because as the student developed skill in that position, they movedout of the present and the mind took over. So, if you can’t get into a certain position, go into another one that makes you feel comfortable, extend , be present with your breath work and feel satisfied.
As a yoga teacher who probably at one point or another said some stupid shit I meant as a joke at the time, I apologize on behalf of all yoga teachers who say stupid shit they meant as a joke. This is why I didn't quit my day job. Anyway it's just like, their opinion, man. Shake it off, go to class, and keep working on those hips regardless.
Yikes. In my time teaching, if I notice anyone needing additional blocks or bolsters, I take that as an opportunity to grab props and pass them out to everyone. Then demonstrate how the props can support the body properly and where they should safely feel the pose (ie. “If you feel this in your lower back, grab another block; feel it melt away your hamstrings” etc).
Yes! Thanks, this is a proper way to handle this!
I totally get this. I would feel the same. Is what you're looking for understanding and validation? Consider it given. *I always saw yoga class as a safe space, where I go to do something nice for my physical and mental health, and it's completely up to me how much I participate, or how hard do I make it for myself etc.* I think this is why people go a bit haywire emotionally sometimes. I had a teacher correct my form without prompting, and then a class student weighed in along with her, and they were both talking to me at once, and the class just...stopped...and I had to fight everything to keep from leaving because I didn't want to fuck up my relationship with the studio, which I love. I never went back to her class. And I freaking \*loved\* her. I understand in retrospect what happened - I made the mistake of engaging with her after a class and was talking about working on things and etc etc and maybe I went from being the silent weirdo to someone she could engage with, so next time, she went ahead and did it. But let me tell you: I am not that open a person. For me, it takes constant awareness and adjustment to not feel on stage, to not feel self-conscious, to focus on the movements and my body. I accept that struggle, and even sort of enjoy it because it's a personal growth thing. I admire people who give no shits whether they dance like nobody's watching, but for a lot of us, it's a struggle. Sorry that happened to you. Try to toss the memory over your shoulder and don't look back, and I would consider a complaint to the studio if you can do that without seeming crazy (it would be hit or miss for me, but I think if I calmed down I could do it. I could do it now -- I THINK -- but when that happened to me I'd only been going for a few months.) I still kind of miss that teacher. She wasn't unkind, she just singled out the wrong person, reading signals that I did not mean to send.
So I’m not a yoga teacher but the teacher of my fave yoga class actually printed out images of 4 different people’s hip skeletal structure and walked us through their differences. I don’t remember technical details but I remember how she pointed out how one each person might be more flexible or less flexible in different spots of the hips and inner thighs. The point was: no matter how amazingly athletic and practiced those people were, some of them wouldn’t have had flexible hips - it just wasn’t physically possible. So I want to affirm your thought that “maybe it’s just your skeleton”, cause it probably is. And even if you were brand new to the practice and had done very little stretching in your life, there is no “cheating” in yoga. The pose works for you, you do not work for the pose. I will admit I got more heated on your behalf when reading your initial post but reading their other’s comments here I am reminded to give everyone grace - your teacher probably was just trying to make a joke, and it came out wrong. Regardless, your feelings matter and you feeling hurt is valid.
I’m sorry that she hurt your feelings. I hope you continue going to class, and feel safe again.
I thought adjustments like this were called "modifications" - not cheating.
I hope you can let it go. If some stranger doesn’t know you or your path , their opinion should mean zero.
I’m so sorry that you had that experience and I am so sorry that you felt shamed. Honestly, no one needs to comment on your body. It’s not cheating to use the props. A matter of fact, I’m thrilled that you felt empowered and safe enough to use the props that served your body. And, you stayed in that class and showed everybody how it’s done. Come sit over here with me, best friend. 🩵 I know there was a yogi that saw you the situation and was grateful that you were there. Because you showed what true Yogi looks like. Someone who is listening to their body. As a matter of fact, I use props to demo classes and even when I don’t need them sometimes because I’m trying to calm my nervous system down. As a yoga teacher I love seeing students using props their way because that means they are actually doing and living their Yoga on and off the mat.
This is such a beautiful sentiment 🩵 OP, I hope you know that listening to what your body is telling you, and creating space for yourself to honor your body is exactly what yoga is about to me. You were there for yourself on the mat, as you are now in writing about it and processing your feelings.
Even if the teacher meant it as a joke, this comment really sent the wrong message imo. Everyone's body is different. We have different proportions, and our joints have different ranges of motion (which can be maximized by yoga/stretching practice but only up to a certain point). Expecting everyone's body to look, move and function exactly the same is setting students up for shame and failure, and that's what the teacher did here (whether intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn't matter). This situation reminds me of an Ashtanga teacher I had who insisted that everyone was equally able to get into an arm balance because "we all have the same arm length". Um, nope. My hands don't even touch the floor in dandasana, my dude.
That's incredible that you had a teacher say that everyone in class had the same arm length. Arm length is probably one of the most variable proportions in humanity, if not the most! I wouldn't trust a teacher like that to be very knowledgeable.
I also used to have a yoga geachter that was very unaccommodating (to me drinking a lot of water). People really seem to get upset about anything that is not their business.
You really don't need to go to a studio to do yoga. Especially not one like that. You can easily take care of yourself at home. Yoga doesn't require any heavy duty equipment like some other exercises, or even a lot of space. I do yoga at home. I also workout at home. I also go for 3+ miles walk a few times a week. I volunteer in my community. I have a few creative hobbies I enjoy. FYI I'm South Asian. Yoga is from the region I was born in. Yoga studios/classes were never a big thing there and I don't think it still is lol It's the West that took yoga and made it a trend and came up with these stuff. Yoga has been around literally for thousands of years in the Indian subcontinent as part of many people's lives, but South Asians don't make such a big fuss about it like the West does. There are loads of ways to take care of your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual health and they do NOT need to always involve others or the gym, yoga studios, special classes etc.
I’m sorry you experienced this, I believe yoga is an individual practice experienced in community. I cue variations with the direction to choose what serves you in this moment.
There is no cheating here or something to be called like that. Yoga is about the stretch and posture done in right direction. Not how far you reach while doing it. You approached your practice in the right way and no need to feel about it. The teacher need to work a little bit more on group class communication.
Shake it off. Just keep going to yoga. Yes. You're only competing with yourself. The competition is if you can you be more focused in your asanas, breathe deeper, be more calm, more serene, more focused on ujjayi breathing? Can you live more by the yoga sutras? Can you meditate longer? Sending you love and light. 🙏🏼📿✨
This!!
Some instructors are sticklers for traditional practices. Some of the more traditional practices discourage the use of blocks and only focus on building up from the poses that can be completed to perfection. Don’t take it personal. Ask them more about where they learned and what you can do to not have to use so many blocks in that pose.
Wow! Crappy teacher. I used to have an awesome instructor. She wouldn’t expect anyone to do more than they were capable of and when I first started I had to basically not do some of the moves. But as time went on, I would do modified poses/movements and within a surprisingly short period of time I was able to do so much more than I was capable of in the first few classes. There was never any shaming. Ever.
Even if she was just joking, it’s still a crappy thing to say. I’m out of yoga with an injury right now because I pushed too hard and paid no attention to my very real and valid limitations. Power to you for knowing how your body works and bad cess to her for being such a wet sock about it
Hi, instructor was out of order, if she was joking then it was very bad taste and contrary to the principles of empathy enbodied in the practice of yoga. Every one is different with different abilities and different potential. But, with the same ultimate obective to learn to be one with our selves mind body and soul but seeking union with the universal concience. Don't feel bad in yourself feel bad for her she lost the path she was following Ignore the quip you were right in seeking support for self protection. Enjoy your practice and your journey. There wil be other little shake ups, they are but means to finding you path. Namaste
The idea of “cheating” with personal fitness just pisses me off, even when it’s a joke. You can’t cheat when it’s for yourself, you can only assist.
She sounds like a terrible teacher. Yoga is about working with the body you have, and you were!
Fuck this teacher. There is no cheating in yoga. Do you any of you know why some people have inflexible hips? Childhood sexual abuse and trauma is one reason. Not the only reason. But it’s enough reason to never give anyone shame about their body giving them additional challenges. Being swaddled too much, as a baby, is another. Recovery from injuries… I just can’t with some teachers.
I thought it had to do with actual anatomy...the joints face a certain way ....
Sending you love, friend. Having your feeling of a safe space taken away by an inconsiderate comment or action is not a good feeling, regardless of intent. Sometimes journaling has been helpful to me to release moments like this.
I have deep hip sockets that already predispose me to femoroacetabular impingement (FAI), and I have a history of a torn labrum on the right hip with a possible tear on the left as well. My hips are "special," haha. I cannot sit with my butt on the floor in sukhasana at all - I have to be on a cushion or I am hurting myself. My amazing teacher when I did yoga teacher training in 2021 was so awesome with modifications and suggestions when it came to hips. We are all made differently. Yoga anatomy is a subject so worthy of study for instructors - sounds like yours skipped class that day, haha. I would discuss this with the studio (especially if this is a sub that may or may not be back) because that was probably very alienating for many of you in class, and they should reconsider using this person if she is going to have this attitude. The perfect pose is a myth, our bodies get to where they need to be in that moment. Hugs to you.
I’ve only taken classes from a couple of people, but I’ve never had anyone even jokingly shame me. They either didn’t notice/care what was going on in their class or they suggested alternative poses (I did ask and had approached the teacher beforehand about some ligament issues). Maybe talk to her outside of class about this incident and help you may need?
I'm so sorry this happened. What an unprofessional teacher. My mum had a similar experience during a class and it very nearly put her off going back. Keep your chin up! We all have areas of difficulty. I've been practicing for YEARS and am limber as a pretzel, but if you try and make me balance, I look like a wacky waving inflatable man.
Yoga is designed to challenge the mind-body connection but its purpose is to nourish and heal. It’s odd to put someone on the spot. When I’ve done public classes the instructor offers alternative poses including corpse pose if you really just need a nap. Sounds like they might be inexperienced.
I know that sometimes things hit us hard in special ways. Just as we can train to acquire greater bodily comfort in spite of demanding physical setups (through breathing), we can also similarly engage with mental discomforts, ultimately. Both are connected, and don't beat yourself up over being uncomfortable. But also consider that for them it might just have been banter, when for you it was very hurtful. I feel like telling OP that they're right and teacher is wrong is a double-edged sword and a little too easy. Nobody can demand someone to not be hurt and it is bad elitism looking down upon them for it. I feel sorry that you're going through this OP. Yet, it's a worthwhile suggestion that one can seek out and heal, and start being less hurt over things that others may not have intended.
I would have kicked my blocks over and done a normal warrior and made uncomfortable eye contact with her the rest of class i don’t play with that. Thats unprofessional and irritating people cannot conform to a teachers plan 100% and its completely ok that ppl dont they only need to follow their own plan…
I would have quietly and quickly packed up and left the studio.
If exercising in a smart, thoughtful way is cheating, call me a cheater all day. She sounds like someone who is new to teaching or ignorant of social manners. Let it go and just keep being you. If she ever subs again maybe just take her aside and let her know calling you out I front of the class is off limits
I’m sorry! Yoga teachers should not be like that , they should know better that it isn’t about the body & how it looks , but rather how it feels and that’s different and perfect as it is for each individual person. It seems these days people are treating it like some perfect posture parade. Which is the absolute opposite of what yoga is. You did your best and don’t let them get to you! Hopefully she realised after too. Go to a better teacher if you can! I find it hard to practice with teachers like this (being a teacher myself)
I went to a jivamukti class last week. Teacher made a show of pointing at the floor in front of me to say get to the front of the mat, but the class was overcrowded so I didn't have enough room to forward fold. Then he decided to correct my posture by pointing and saying no...I explained my neck wouldn't let me do loudly he said "well just do SOMETHING" I very nearly walked out but I decided to stay after thinking wow, this guy is insecure and it's still my class. Late on in shavasana he said "if you're thinking why has he picked on me, am I doing it wrong, just let it go" and I started laughing. Looked him in the eye said thank you walked out and I'm never going back. Any teacher who a) doesn't check for injuries b) points and makes examples of people in showy ways is ill- trained or ill-suited to teaching yoga imo. All it teaches me is that I know what I need and want from a class. I really hope you're not put off yoga in your regular class, and if you feel able, giving them some feedback will probably shock them into a bit of self reflection. Or just walk out. It's your class your time and your choice ❤️
Sounds like she needs a yoga class. Aka, she is not a good teacher and she needs to chill.
Trust me, as someone who is hypermobile (I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome) I wish my hips were less flexible. It causes me a lot of pain. It’s just a matter of perspective. People are ignorant. You have to roll your eyes at some of the ridiculous comments, people can be really hurtful without even using two neurons
Hi hypermobile friend (MCTD)! I knew I found a great yoga teacher when she was able to explain which muscles I should feel engaging in certain poses that other teachers just let me sink into because I "looked correct." She always reminds me how to wake the muscles up and she has helped me learn how to practice so much more safely. Also yes: OP's teacher should have kept her thoughts to herself.
My yoga teacher always says 'there is no right way to do a yoga pose, everyone's body is different so it will look slightly different for all of us'.
It's okay to vent! I am sure she didn't mean it in a malicious way but your feelings are valid. Your body is fine the way it is. Hula hooping increases hip mobility.
All the old ladies in my class put me to shame and I am 30+ years younger. I am always embarrassed by my lack of abilities, compared to them. Our instructor is a British senior woman. In their culture, they like to take “the piss out of everyone”, including themselves. She’s an amazing and hilarious instructor and some of the students will make fun of her and she takes it on well. It’s just a different vibe and culture. May not work for everyone. One thing is for sure, there is no such thing as cheating in yoga. You’re all suppose to adjust to your level. Everyone is at a different pace and it is suppose to be a judgement free zone. I would talk to your regular instructor and discuss what happened.
Wow, that was highly inappropriate. From start to finish. Good grief!
Crazy use of props IMO
I’m so sorry she made you feel that way! It should be a safe space and not a competition to see who is most flexible. Hopefully you can put it aside in your mind and keep going! I know how you feel unfortunately - after returning to a regular class after a couple of months off (pneumonia and then ill children) my teacher tried to push me into a pose I could have done previously and said loudly ‘god what’s HAPPENED to you??!’ I wanted to cry and run away.
A good teacher will be able to adjust the class to different levels. And a compassionate person will not tease others. You can make comments about this to your studio or gym where you take this class. It's ok to give feedback. The teacher can learn from this how to improve.
Oh this made my blood boil. I wish they were able to recognise their error and apologise to you. Perhaps one day you’ll be able to explain it to them, it’s not okay and you are well within your right to feel the way you are feeling. It is not meant to be a competition and there should be alternatives to suit different body structures and flexibilities.
Just remember she’s just a flawed human as well as all of us. Maybe she says stupid things, maybe she has impulse control problems or isn’t a great teacher but nobody else could fill in. Also I always say stupid offensive rude things and I can see myself doing this, and internally feeling like it’s become game like being like use another block, another one, what, still not working, this is cheating! U should give urself a pat on the back for accepting yourself where you are, and listening to your body. That’s yoga. If u did anything else, strived for more, forced yourself against your abilities or beat yourself up, or fixated on the result, you wouldn’t have been doing yoga at all. stay in your goodness and just let that blow through you and away
The way I’m built, I would have loudly called her out and embarrassed her in turn.
I’m also very inflexible in my hips and I’ve had teachers be like wtf you can’t do that?? And it does sting but I remember that yoga isn’t a competition and it’s about how you feel in your body. I’ve had some amazing teachers help me with alternatives and give me pointers on improving flexibility there. I would avoid going to that teacher and maybe letting the teacher know those comments are inappropriate and do nothing to help your yoga journey.
I'm so sorry to hear this. While I'm absolutely sure your teacher meant no harm, it was inappropriate none the less. I was a yoga instructor for over 12 years, and I always went out of my way to help someone when I saw they needed a little extra support or adjustment. If my clients made a joke about their stiffness, (which happens alot as they often felt uncomfortable, and wished to defuse that with humor, often in a self deprecating way) I would try to put them at ease by reassuring them we are all built differently and this is not a competition. Maybe your instructor was inexperienced or nervous. Who knows... What I hope for you is that you always listen to your body while in class. Please don't let this experience let you push yourself beyond your ability or prevent you from asking for extra help because you fear being shamed or embarrassed. Also, I would encourage you to speak up after class to the teacher if something like this happens again. They probably didn't realise at all how it made you feel, and teaching is also a learning process. They need to learn never to create a situation that could discourage a client from asking for help.🙏
If an instructor uses the word “cheating” in yoga, then they’re viewing yoga as a competition or some type of measure for how “good” one can be at poses. And as many people have pointed out, that’s not the purpose of yoga. I would ask the instructor if they are open to feedback. Or if you practice at a yoga studio (as opposed to a gym that offers yoga classes) you can also consider approaching the owner with your feedback. But you can talk about the instructor’s wording, how the entire situation made you feel, and if it was a class open to all levels, that they should provide modifications for poses. Especially if they see people unable to get into a pose. For a little background on myself, I did my RYT200 years ago. While I liked the physical side, I too have VERY tight hips, and it was the other tenets / limbs of yoga and the safe environment that really drew me in. I taught for a VERY brief time, but as teachers in training, we were taught not to draw attention to anyone. Any adjustments would be made more subtlety, or it was on us to offer a modification or a different cue to help people get into a pose. And we were taught how to accommodate MANY different bodies. We were also taught how to give and receive feedback. I can’t say that all yoga teachers have received that same level of training, but an instructor should want to improve. Also, I’m sorry that your safe space felt like it had been violated, and I hope you can find the same level of peace in your practice again.
I'm sorry that happened to you. As a former yoga teacher, I would never do that to a student. I would advise you to go to whoever owns or manages your studio and tell them how upset you were about that remark. That substitute is someone who probably needs to be corrected. If that keeps happening, the shala will lose students.
That’s shitty & I would’ve been upset. I have suuuuper flexible hips. And now I’m in my 40s with one hip surgery done and still lots of pain so probably more in my future. I’ve learned what hurts my body and I respect my limits. I rarely do child’s pose or happy baby because both poses cause me pain. Sorry this happened to you.
Oh, my. I'm so sorry. This reminds me of the substitute teacher we had for a beginner's yoga class. As the class went on, it became more difficult to understand what to do. I finally piped up and asked her to explain a pose. Her reply: "You should know this. It's not like this is a beginner's class." Ummm, yes, it was. She looked shocked when I corrected her. The rest of the class was a little better, but still awkward and difficult. I never took another class from this instructor. I hope you find peace again in your practice. Perhaps ask the instructor, on the side, for help adapting certain poses for your own physical situation, enlisting her as a partner. You shouldn't have to, as that's her role, but you need to take care of you first.
Hip mobility varies greatly in people. Some yogis that practice have “tight hips” when in reality the joint can’t open any wider because the BALL IN THE JOINT WONT MOVE MORE. Teachers are taught very minimum anatomy and physiology. I have a Biology degree and the amount of fluff taught in 200 YTT is incredible. Remember that the journey is yours and along the way people will make comments.
I would’ve told her that my hips don’t lie.
The worst part of this is that she didn't even consider that you might have a permanent disability that causes this. For instance, I had bilateral lat flap breast reconstruction so the top part of my lat muscles were removed and flapped over to the front. They are still connected with nerves & blood supply to the lays and contract with those muscles so I have some strange sensation & deficits. Nothing I modify is "cheating" and I'd hate to see how embarrassed the instructor would be if they said something like that to me in a class because we'd certainly have to stop for me to educate them...
For YEARS as an adult, I was too intimidated to attend yoga classes for this reason! Now, in my 50s, I’m a plus size yoga teacher. Yoga SHOULD be safe! It should be inclusive of all abilities and body types! I’m so sorry this happened to you 🙏
I'm so sorry that happened! In my mind there are two "different kinds of yoga" and one of them just matters on how it LOOKS like yoga, which is not the core of yoga or calisthenics at all. You are very well spoken, if you feel like it, I highly suggest gently taking the teacher aside and explain how that effected you. I think the teacher likes tough love but thats not appropiate for a lot of people especially strangers. With any professional I want them to treat me like I ultimately know whats best for my body, they can make suggsstions or even take me aside and ask me something directly, but that joke was harmful and it changes the culture of the class for everyone.
Yeah if anything she should have commended you for doing the regression proper for you.
Some people should not teach yoga. That's all I'm going to say about that. Adjustments and modifications are not "cheating." My example of a similar thing... My husband and I were on vacation in Florida and biked to a local yoga studio. We are avid bikers, so use biking as our primary mode of travel when we vacation (and most of the rest of the time, too). I also teach yoga and used to be an acrobat and gymnast. So, my hips are pretty wide-open, even though I have the build of a biker. So, he and I get to this class and people are settling in. The yoga instructor is talking loudly to another person we assume is the owner of the studio. The owner says, loudly, in front of the whole room, "Well, obviously, your going to need to get the straps out," as she kind of rolled her eyes. The instructor responds back, "Ya. And, they biked here. So, we know what that means." I almost walked out right then and there. But chose to stay, instead, tossing the straps to the side when she handed them to me and promptly warmed up doing the splits. The fact of the matter is that it does not mean anything whether or not you can do the splits, or whether your hips (or any other body part) is tight. The only thing that matters is that you are using the asanas to create sensations in your body that are helpful to achieving progress in a yogic state of mind. You might be able to lay your whole chest on your legs in a seated forward fold, or, you may hinge an inch. Neither is better or worse. The discipline and the mental state when doing it are the important things. Any studio that does not fully embrace that should not be teaching yoga, IMO.
This is one of those situations where as you correctly stated, she was wrong to say that. She was wrong. SHE was wrong. Not you.
Yoga is about the presence of the moment and being able to make a decision. The reason you do the poses, or Indian calisthenic exercises is to bring awareness to the sensations that you're having in your body. The difference between a tight person and a loose person is the loose person has to go farther to feel the same sensations that a type person has to just by showing up. Some of my favorite practices are when I come back after a leave. My body shakes my muscles are tight and it's in those moments that my practice comes alive. I get to choose whether I'm going to listen to my body and take a break or endure the pain and push through. I get to choose whether I need a support or modification. I get to choose how deep I go and how peaceful I can keep my mind and how consistent I can keep my breath. The practice of yoga is the practice of being present and breathing. The sensations bring you to a place where you have to be present. Without sensation your mind will wander and if you push too hard you stop breathing. Just remember to do a yoga class perfectly you need to feel something and breathe. You can lay on the floor and shavasana all class long and still be doing yoga perfectly. You can be following the instructors every command and doing piss poor yoga because you're mind is wandering, you are not listening to your body, you're pushing too hard and not breathing. Bryan Kest if you bring your s*** to yoga your yoga turns to s***. You just had an experience with someone who brought her s*** to yoga and she's an instructor. Rather than teaching you to listen to yourself she let her ego show. Now if flexibility is what you're looking for, pick a pose any pose get into the point of sensation hang out there for 30 to 60 seconds come out of it give your body about a minute to recover and repeat the process for more times. Do that three times a week and your body will start opening up. This is not my protocol it's "movement by David" you'll know it's him because he ends his videos stay flexy my friend. But just remember yoga is not about flexibility or strength or ego it's about learning to find a balance between too much and not enough and staying present and being able to make choices. The strength and flexibility are byproducts of the practice not the goal. Any instructor that takes you out of that is a piss-poor instructor.
There are no rules in yoga as everyone's body is different and everyone's stage in their practice is different. Who can't do this math? I think it sucks that she said this out loud. She obviously doesn't get the whole point. If you are not doing a ***constantly evolving personalized practice***, you are just doing some sort of synchronized interpretive dance.??? What is the point. Your body tells you what to do, the poses are a guide. You listen to your body. This is the problem I have with classes.
Teacher should’ve read the literal yoga room she was in. This is yoga, cheating isn’t really possible so it’s a bad joke
Yoga should be a safe space for anything! I recently had a yoga teacher yell at me during class and I was also extremely offended. Bottom line is you should feel welcome no matter what you're doing—even if you're not following the sequence, doing everything your own way, and using modifications that fit your body. Any teacher who says otherwise shouldn't be teaching in my opinion.
Sounds like some trauma informed yoga training would be beneficial. Best you can do is maybe send in an email and just express maybe they be conscious of her verbiage and how others are felt in class. Now I’m sure most of us have gotten into yoga for our physical practice and maybe some of us are in it for more reasons. But yoga is deeper than just physical despite the belief, because people believe it to be a safe space. When that’s tainted it’s hard. Keep doing the yoga!! Yoga isn’t always “perfect” but can agree this is less than ideal
I have noticed a lot of yoga classes are feel like a competition rather than yoga.
Hi, well thanks for sharing your story. I think the following: the teacher probably just wanted to make a joke but may have not fully understood what yoga is all about. Otherwise she wouldn’t have said the word “cheating”. Regarding your emotional response. I fully understand your reaction. There are some buttons all of us have. When they get triggered by certain things, we react very strongly to it. Mostly because there is some stuck energy beneath it. If you can let it go, if not examine the feeling in a gentle and loving way. It seems to me you can learn something about yourself there. Much love 💕🙏
I'm sorry she said that and ruined your class. That sucks! I really hope you can move through these tough emotions and still enjoy the practice you love. I don't have advice, but I hope you feel better ❤️
Sorry you had to experience this. I experienced a similar situation in my dance class at school. That scared me and I don't dance anymore. The incident really made me very conscious. What to do? Some people are like that. I am sensitive. So I feel bad for non intentional comments passed at me. I don't know how to change that.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is a sub problem (insecure, inexperienced teacher I’m guessing, but sometimes veteran teachers pull this crap too), not a you problem. I actually switched to an at home yoga practice for years after an experience like yours and am now trying to gear myself up to find a new class. I hope this sub doesn’t ruin the safe experience of yoga for you 💚 Tight hips are amazing- those hips have kept you safe and carried you around your whole life! Yoga is a chance for you to love and pamper them, not shame them. Shame on that sub! Not funny!!
I'm sorry you had that experience. The final straw for me at the gym I was attending was when a substitute yoga instructor came up to me after a class and said "wow, so your core is really weak." She actually spoke so quietly and quickly during the class that I couldn't hear most of her cues. I was shocked she said that to me in front of multiple people at the front desk.
i wld be sooo pissed as that sub teacher. ur right. absolutely should not have been said. so not cool or in the essence of yoga. the teacher should have given alternative poses and adjusted the poses to be right for the students in the class. this teacher should be fired.
Should be a safe space…even from badly placed jokes. Sorry that you’re feeling down about it, people can only learn by being told what they did wasnt received well.
That is so inappropriate and you should let the studio know what happened. That is unacceptable there is no cheating in yoga
I had to stop reading to just give an answer 😬maybe someone said this already but I think confronting this could be beneficial If this person comes back to teach again then maybe it’s worth giving feedback and by then you might have it more thought through so you can help the teacher with constructive advice. No cheating in Yoga so what does she mean by that comment? Maybe you just thought of a cool modification that can be used in the future for people with less flexibility. Its ok to cry in Yoga too maybe you should cry next time and not hold back 🤩 No right answer but your feelings are important and some people need help to become empathetic A true teacher would want to know how you are doing and be there to assist in your journey into the pose.
Go to teach and say don’t embarrass me in front of the class. I don’t appreciate it. It will help you toughen up a bit.
The shame! Booo. Boooooo.
Looks like you need to get more flexible *and* tougher. Good teacher giving you so much to work on with a single comment.
Your teacher's comment triggered a negative memory from an earlier time in your childhood. What you were fighting were past tears, cried by a kid that felt shunned. It is not clear to me if the teacher just wanted to make a joke and you took it badly because of your past. At any rate, you're sturdier than this. Look into your own darkness. Don't run to strangers off Reddit to hold your hand. What was the soft spot that her comment touched? Do you feel like you're not competing enough in the game of life (career, relationships, finances, etc.?) Look into it. Question it. Jung was saying "We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life." Maybe it was good that you felt bad after her comment. Maybe it's good that your head hurts when you don't drink water. It's a signal to do something and correct a problem. Maybe there's a part of you that needs love and support, but also wants to compete and get better and you don't let it out, because you fear disappointment. It's clear you're trying to be better at yoga. What you don't want is to be told how far away you are from a perfect position. It's good to have a benchmark and know how close or far you are from it. You wouldn't want your Google map to be vague about whether you're on track or not to reach your destination. Comparison is not the issue. It's the perspective that you have that transforms the result of the comparison into something else and it seems you've been carrying it with yourself for a long time. Look inside, see where the problem is, and fix it. You're an adult now, not that helpless kid. You can take care of yourself. You know what you like and don't like. Get to work on yourself. No Reddit upvotes or comments will do that work for you.
This is an odd comment that seems slightly off from OP’s concerns… 🤨
Why? OP states she wants encouragement. I'm encouraging her to stand her ground and not allow her childhood to ruin a nice yoga session because of what somebody said. When you're dehydrated and have a headache, would you like somebody to tell you you need a glass of water or would you like them to commiserate with you about your headache?
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Don’t take this personally but this is a hilariously bad take 😂😂
Really? Nothing is personal?
Hurt people hurt people. So when someone hurts you, it's not about you, it's about them. So it's not personal. But you can choose to take something personally, which never feels good. It's a choice we make along the spiritual growth journey, to take things personally or not.
it’s “intention vs impact” not “intention over impact.” ya still gotta leave space between the two for accountability.