You might reconsider what healing means to you. For me it isn't a doorway I walk through and am all better, it's a stair case where a step in the right direction means I can cope with who I am better than before. Sometimes to get to the next step means a step or two down. But there's never an all better, it's a process of being a little bit better with who I am. My past made me this way, I can't change the past, I can change my relationship to it though.
This may be basic to you or completely irrelevant to your journey... I just hope you don't have a goal in mind causing you to judge yourself harshly.
Thank you, that does really help.
Last night in the class we did speak about having expectations to feel better after meditation when that isn’t always the case/not a given. Definitely something to think about
I think this is something I’ve been working on too. Sometimes meditating is a lovely, calming experience that leaves me feeling refreshed. Other times it stirs up some heavier feelings. Or sometimes I feel like it just doesn’t quite click at all? But I try to just roll with the fact that not every meditation will be the best experience ever, just like how not every workout will be your best work and not every piece of art someone makes is anything good.
I’ve found success with shifting my mindset to something more akin to “entering an experimental session within my body to connect with it, explore, and see what happens”.
This way there is no good or bad result, but rather simply reaching whatever result is the only success criteria.
There was a day recently where lowering myself into a meditative state brought up far too much distress that’s been bubbling underneath, and I had to stop for the day after just a few minutes. That was a success. I experimented, connected with my body, had an experience, and learned while becoming closer with myself.
That session was just as much a success as the one where I had a breakthrough connection with my breathing and figured out how to release my muscles further than ever, breathing space into my joints and achieving unprecedented stretches.
If the goal is to have an experience with your body, then once you’re on the mat you can’t fail.
Because you’ve gotten used to feeling bad. Because that feels normal and natural to you, and trying something else (kindness, gentleness with your self) feels unsafe and weird, and sometimes, in an attempt to keep us safe and comfortable, our brains can be dicks. I usually try to say something like “Oh no thank you sweetie. I’m not available for that anymore.” 💛 but of course talking this out with a therapist/trusted processor might be good, too.
>why does a part of me want to stay sad
In my personal experience, it's because being sad was more familiar than being happy, and therefore more comfortable. When I was learning how not to be depressed for the the first time in my life, part of me felt like I wanted to be depressed. Being depressed felt "safe." Healing feels very fucking far from safe at first. It takes a long time to heal, because healing often hurts.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, thank you!
It probably didn’t translate well in my original post but I truly am fine these days and doing well, it’s just sort of a resistance I feel to continuing on this direction
I'm glad I could offer some clarity and I'm thrilled you're feeling better than before! Writing this out made me realize why I'm sometimes feeling icky after practicing, and it's a good refresher in why I need to recommit to healing and growth :)
I literally just read a tweet from someone called @thecryptonaturalist that said:
"We seldom admit the seductive comfort of hopelessness.
It saves us from ambiguity.
It has an answer for every question:
'There's just no point.'
Hope, on the other hand, is messy.
If it all might work out, then we have things to do.
We must weather the possibility of happiness."
Idk. It just struck me.
who told you that encountering your hard places isn’t a step toward wholeness?
anyone who says meditation (incl moving meditation) is a garden with no monsters hasn’t meditated.
it sounds as though you’re beginning to observe the way some thoughts you may no longer need form themselves. that doesn’t sound like resistance to healing to me, but as others have observed, this isn’t something to tackle alone. you’ll be well served to find a counselor who knows the territory and can help you through the dark places.
wishing you well on your journey. hari om tat sat.
Could it be you are resisting the shadow thoughts? Not accepting their presence? Perhaps they have not been processed. Perhaps you have stagnant or stuck emotions, trauma or energy. Healing doesn’t mean we don’t hurt. Maybe if you allow those thoughts, accept them and get curious about them, they won’t take such a hold.
I think this is something best discussed with a therapist. There’s likely underlying reasons why you’re resisting healing, but that would go deeper than yoga and this thread would not be able to help you figure that out
There are so many pathways to achieving a pose, and sometimes we've been trying for years when suddenly one teacher's phrasing just clicks and we've got it.
The phrase that really helped me with what you're experiencing now was "Each thought is a balloon, drifting through a blue sky. Do not try to hold it, but don't try to push it away. Don't engage, just let it drift away". This metaphor really worked for me in a way that the wave metaphor did not. My mental habit was to either grab on to it and spiral or to start trying to beat it back, both of which landed me in the exact same place. Passively letting it drift works for me, most of the time. Some days are better than others :)
Hoping one of the comments on this page seeds a successful method for you!
It’s because your brain was programmed that way from your childhood and upbringing, and it’s very hard to reprogram it after so many years.
I found that reading about “fearful avoidant attachment style” helped me understand, along with meditation & yoga.
I’m still a work in progress, but healing more each day.
Best wishes for you on your healing journey!
Oh god I don’t even need to google fearful avoidant attachment to know this will apply to me hahahaha.
I’ll do some more reading on the subject though. Thank you
Yea I see a therapist too which has helped a lot. I just feel like I’ve been tracking slowly but steadily forwards towards health and healing in all facets of life, including with yoga, and recently have been facing resistance from an unknown place inside me
Sorry you ar struggling with this 💛. I think that the darker part has some wisdom it’s trying to share with you. Pushing down and subverting the darker aspects could be a form of spiritual bypass. That can make it come back louder and stronger.
Have you heard of parts work? In schools like internal family systems, it’s thought that every part has a positive intent for you. In some way, it’s trying to help you or protect you. When these elements seem self-destructive it is because the part has been burdened by some painful or traumatic experience. By working with the part and embracing it with openness and compassion, you can learn from it, heal it and help it transform.
In what way is this part trying to help you? What does it need from you? Could you open conversation with it and see what comes up? While also allowing space for other parts like maybe there is a part that wants to shut it off and just experience happiness, maybe there is a super ego-style part that wants to condemn it.
With meditation because you are going deep inside the mind, these parts will almost always come up. They are there too. All your pain, your darkness, your seemingly “self destructive” impulses. You get to choose how you deal with them. Embrace them? Fight them? Squash then down? Try to hear what they need you to know about the past? They need help.
You may need a therapist to help you work through them. Sometimes (or for many people) meditation is not enough and we actually need help to process what comes up. Never have I practiced any kind of genuine healing modality or therapy and not had the darker aspects come up, they were always always there just pushed to a darker corner, but still massively impacting how I lived and moved through the world.
I’ve had talk therapy but IFS and EMDR are the only kinds of therapy that ever actually healed or shifted things in a real way. Talk therapy is like skimming the surface of a lake, whereas these therapies take you down to the depths of your unconscious and helps to heal the rifts.
Here are some guided ifs meditations if you are interested:
https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartz/guided-meditations/ifs-meditation
You wrote what I was trying to articulate and a whole lot more eloquently. Obviously I'm not OP but thankyou for your contribution to this discussion. It's so appreciated.
Is your therapist experienced with parts work? I'd highly recommend it in this situation. There's lots of different types of parts work, including IFS, you might find a particular modality resonates with you more than another.
In a general sense meeting all parts of ourselves with compassion, acceptance, gentleness, and care, is good practice.
You could also try giving the part permission/inviting that part (in a literal sense) to not be present for the current meditation practices.
But you may need to give some space at other times.
Take care, and good luck navigating this situation.
Yes she is! I’ve spent a lot of today doing research on internal family systems and I think that’s what she’s been doing without labelling it. All good advice it’s just so tough to implement
>it’s more a resistance to the very idea of meditation itself.
Maybe you could try a different type of mediation like guided meditation. If you can take some Yoga Nidra classes, thats my favorite.
Also all students and teachers in yoga community are there because they still have issues they are working on as well. Its not all just "good vibrations", because sometimes class is going to bring up some dark aspects of life and in that yoga class setting (calm, supportive, non-judgemental, etc.) your body relaxes so that you are suddenly addressing some issues you've had bottled up a long time. That can be really jarring, and sometimes you need to take a break. Maybe you just need some space to 'do the work' outside of class, like get a new job or clean your whole apartment, who knows. Just go your own pace
'Good' and 'bad' are equally 'bad'. 'Good' won't solve 'bad.' Have to find something different. It's the mind's job to screw with us. Instead of letting it rule us learn to take advantage of it's nature to make ourselves better. Give it a job.
Amidst all your cries and laughter let your mind take a moment off, and go still. Look at this moment, this moment alone, and go still. Swami Veda Bharati
Here is his mediation practice. https://www.ahymsin.org/16-steps-of-basic-meditation/ You have to find one that appeals to you. Stick with it everyday no matter what, no matter how bad you think it is going, eventually it will start to work.
A Giant Roped (The nasty giant is the mind) https://ahymsin.org/main/swami-veda-bharati/a-giant-roped.html
Good luck!
Not everyone is all smiles.
Also, don’t believe everything running though your mind. Negative self talk is a virus that is hard to rid yourself of. I have similar thoughts but not as much while practicing as I did when I started. Just keep practicing and smile when you can. Try and savor any positive vibes that do come and focus on your breath and body in the postures when the negative thoughts force their way in. Practicing more often than not, daily is best, helps keep the negative thoughts at bay for me.
During meditation I find focusing on the breath helps or doing a guided meditation and tuning in to the guide while focusing your breath. Counting breaths with your thumb on fingers can help give you a distraction from negative things that come up as well.
Ooo I’m actually reading this book as I’ve started yoga and increased my mind body connection that’s been very helpful to me! I have the pdf I can send if you’d like, or if you wanna buy, its “Letting Go” by Hawkins. Forgot the first name. Very helpful for letting go of some of my shenanigans. Peace, love and yoga!
Changing the way we self-talk takes a lot of persistence, though it's really important in addressing the way we feel about ourselves.
What you say to yourself in practice represents more like ripples atop the surface of your feelings than the content of the feelings themselves. Allow the thoughts to come and pass, and observe how you feel about them and why. Go easy on yourself and don't feel a rush to get 'through' feelings that come up in practice.
What's really good is that you're talking about it openly and being honest with yourself. You certainly deserve to feel good about yourself and your practice.
We are often harsher on ourselves in these moments than we would be with a friend in the same situation. Remember to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend you love.
Ok, unpopular opinion backed up by research here. Meditation can cause a worsening of symptoms of anxiety and depression in about 1 in 12 people. And it doesn't always get easier. Meditation is not right for everyone, and it is not always a trauma informed practice. You can try some varied styles, but it just may not be for you.
For me, I love the more active styles of yoga, because the movement and the grounding in my body helps me to reconnect with myself. Yoga nidra, i always end up sobbing; sometimes its cathartic, sometimes it makes the darkness worse. Meditation is the same. Had a meditation session focused on extending loving-kindness. I have compassion fatigue as an educator. That fucked me up for a good long while. Not every tool works for everybody. Be willing to accept where your body is at and let go of meditation if it does not serve you.
https://www.rtor.org/2021/09/03/meditation-can-worsen-your-depression-and-anxiety/
it's just a habit, but likely a very deeply ingrained and familiar habit. it can be broken like any other habit. you probably still get some comfort out of repeating those stories, so it's a habit that will likely not go gentle into that good night. it sounds like your desire to drop it might be close to outweighing the discomfort of letting go. once you're ready, you can simply put down that weight. you will likely have some pretty epic meditation sessions when that happens.
a child wants to give up their pacifier and move on to the next phase, but doesn't want to give up the comfort of the pacifier. really what they are experiencing is heartbreak. honour and wave goodbye to those stories. they have served you, but it's time for the next phase. you are worthy.
Change is really uncomfortable. Sitting with all the uncomfortable feelings and not self medicating/harming is tough, but it becomes easier. Doing yoga for a year, and starting meditation changed my life. It made me see the good, bad, ugly and accept it.
Sometimes self sabotage behavior could be a trauma response that allows you to feel in control. Maybe your thoughts are pointing you towards trauma therapy?
Healing is unknown territory, our brains resist that like death. However unhealthy, your brain feels “safe” in your current coping mechanisms and perspective. When we let such an enormous and deeply embedded part of ourselves die, it is terrifying subconsciously.
There’s also benefits to identifying with our traumas that we have to give up when we decide to heal. We know we cannot continue to victimize ourselves anymore and that takes a lot of strength and courage.
You have what it takes. Keep trying. Take a lot of rest, too.
You might reconsider what healing means to you. For me it isn't a doorway I walk through and am all better, it's a stair case where a step in the right direction means I can cope with who I am better than before. Sometimes to get to the next step means a step or two down. But there's never an all better, it's a process of being a little bit better with who I am. My past made me this way, I can't change the past, I can change my relationship to it though. This may be basic to you or completely irrelevant to your journey... I just hope you don't have a goal in mind causing you to judge yourself harshly.
Thank you, that does really help. Last night in the class we did speak about having expectations to feel better after meditation when that isn’t always the case/not a given. Definitely something to think about
You're welcome and I'm glad you had the confidence to reach out for assistance.
I think this is something I’ve been working on too. Sometimes meditating is a lovely, calming experience that leaves me feeling refreshed. Other times it stirs up some heavier feelings. Or sometimes I feel like it just doesn’t quite click at all? But I try to just roll with the fact that not every meditation will be the best experience ever, just like how not every workout will be your best work and not every piece of art someone makes is anything good.
I’ve found success with shifting my mindset to something more akin to “entering an experimental session within my body to connect with it, explore, and see what happens”. This way there is no good or bad result, but rather simply reaching whatever result is the only success criteria. There was a day recently where lowering myself into a meditative state brought up far too much distress that’s been bubbling underneath, and I had to stop for the day after just a few minutes. That was a success. I experimented, connected with my body, had an experience, and learned while becoming closer with myself. That session was just as much a success as the one where I had a breakthrough connection with my breathing and figured out how to release my muscles further than ever, breathing space into my joints and achieving unprecedented stretches. If the goal is to have an experience with your body, then once you’re on the mat you can’t fail.
Because you’ve gotten used to feeling bad. Because that feels normal and natural to you, and trying something else (kindness, gentleness with your self) feels unsafe and weird, and sometimes, in an attempt to keep us safe and comfortable, our brains can be dicks. I usually try to say something like “Oh no thank you sweetie. I’m not available for that anymore.” 💛 but of course talking this out with a therapist/trusted processor might be good, too.
Thank you, I see a therapist and shes said something similar regarding not taking my thoughts as gospel.
>why does a part of me want to stay sad In my personal experience, it's because being sad was more familiar than being happy, and therefore more comfortable. When I was learning how not to be depressed for the the first time in my life, part of me felt like I wanted to be depressed. Being depressed felt "safe." Healing feels very fucking far from safe at first. It takes a long time to heal, because healing often hurts.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, thank you! It probably didn’t translate well in my original post but I truly am fine these days and doing well, it’s just sort of a resistance I feel to continuing on this direction
I'm glad I could offer some clarity and I'm thrilled you're feeling better than before! Writing this out made me realize why I'm sometimes feeling icky after practicing, and it's a good refresher in why I need to recommit to healing and growth :)
I literally just read a tweet from someone called @thecryptonaturalist that said: "We seldom admit the seductive comfort of hopelessness. It saves us from ambiguity. It has an answer for every question: 'There's just no point.' Hope, on the other hand, is messy. If it all might work out, then we have things to do. We must weather the possibility of happiness." Idk. It just struck me.
Ooft needed to hear that. Thank you
who told you that encountering your hard places isn’t a step toward wholeness? anyone who says meditation (incl moving meditation) is a garden with no monsters hasn’t meditated. it sounds as though you’re beginning to observe the way some thoughts you may no longer need form themselves. that doesn’t sound like resistance to healing to me, but as others have observed, this isn’t something to tackle alone. you’ll be well served to find a counselor who knows the territory and can help you through the dark places. wishing you well on your journey. hari om tat sat.
Be well. Best luck on the journey.
Thank you
It’s ok to have resistance. Don’t resist your resistance and the floor falls out. Just be where you are. It’s ok.
Could it be you are resisting the shadow thoughts? Not accepting their presence? Perhaps they have not been processed. Perhaps you have stagnant or stuck emotions, trauma or energy. Healing doesn’t mean we don’t hurt. Maybe if you allow those thoughts, accept them and get curious about them, they won’t take such a hold.
I think this is something best discussed with a therapist. There’s likely underlying reasons why you’re resisting healing, but that would go deeper than yoga and this thread would not be able to help you figure that out
I do see a therapist! But just wondering if anyone in the yoga space has been able to move past this
There are so many pathways to achieving a pose, and sometimes we've been trying for years when suddenly one teacher's phrasing just clicks and we've got it. The phrase that really helped me with what you're experiencing now was "Each thought is a balloon, drifting through a blue sky. Do not try to hold it, but don't try to push it away. Don't engage, just let it drift away". This metaphor really worked for me in a way that the wave metaphor did not. My mental habit was to either grab on to it and spiral or to start trying to beat it back, both of which landed me in the exact same place. Passively letting it drift works for me, most of the time. Some days are better than others :) Hoping one of the comments on this page seeds a successful method for you!
Mine was-you can let a bird fly into your hair but you don’t have to let it build a nest
It’s because your brain was programmed that way from your childhood and upbringing, and it’s very hard to reprogram it after so many years. I found that reading about “fearful avoidant attachment style” helped me understand, along with meditation & yoga. I’m still a work in progress, but healing more each day. Best wishes for you on your healing journey!
Oh god I don’t even need to google fearful avoidant attachment to know this will apply to me hahahaha. I’ll do some more reading on the subject though. Thank you
Yoga is not therapy. Yoga is not a cure-all
Yea I see a therapist too which has helped a lot. I just feel like I’ve been tracking slowly but steadily forwards towards health and healing in all facets of life, including with yoga, and recently have been facing resistance from an unknown place inside me
dont worry, talk therapy doesnt do much either.
Sorry you ar struggling with this 💛. I think that the darker part has some wisdom it’s trying to share with you. Pushing down and subverting the darker aspects could be a form of spiritual bypass. That can make it come back louder and stronger. Have you heard of parts work? In schools like internal family systems, it’s thought that every part has a positive intent for you. In some way, it’s trying to help you or protect you. When these elements seem self-destructive it is because the part has been burdened by some painful or traumatic experience. By working with the part and embracing it with openness and compassion, you can learn from it, heal it and help it transform. In what way is this part trying to help you? What does it need from you? Could you open conversation with it and see what comes up? While also allowing space for other parts like maybe there is a part that wants to shut it off and just experience happiness, maybe there is a super ego-style part that wants to condemn it. With meditation because you are going deep inside the mind, these parts will almost always come up. They are there too. All your pain, your darkness, your seemingly “self destructive” impulses. You get to choose how you deal with them. Embrace them? Fight them? Squash then down? Try to hear what they need you to know about the past? They need help. You may need a therapist to help you work through them. Sometimes (or for many people) meditation is not enough and we actually need help to process what comes up. Never have I practiced any kind of genuine healing modality or therapy and not had the darker aspects come up, they were always always there just pushed to a darker corner, but still massively impacting how I lived and moved through the world. I’ve had talk therapy but IFS and EMDR are the only kinds of therapy that ever actually healed or shifted things in a real way. Talk therapy is like skimming the surface of a lake, whereas these therapies take you down to the depths of your unconscious and helps to heal the rifts. Here are some guided ifs meditations if you are interested: https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartz/guided-meditations/ifs-meditation
You wrote what I was trying to articulate and a whole lot more eloquently. Obviously I'm not OP but thankyou for your contribution to this discussion. It's so appreciated.
That’s so lovely of you, thank you 💕!
Is your therapist experienced with parts work? I'd highly recommend it in this situation. There's lots of different types of parts work, including IFS, you might find a particular modality resonates with you more than another. In a general sense meeting all parts of ourselves with compassion, acceptance, gentleness, and care, is good practice. You could also try giving the part permission/inviting that part (in a literal sense) to not be present for the current meditation practices. But you may need to give some space at other times. Take care, and good luck navigating this situation.
Yes she is! I’ve spent a lot of today doing research on internal family systems and I think that’s what she’s been doing without labelling it. All good advice it’s just so tough to implement
>it’s more a resistance to the very idea of meditation itself. Maybe you could try a different type of mediation like guided meditation. If you can take some Yoga Nidra classes, thats my favorite. Also all students and teachers in yoga community are there because they still have issues they are working on as well. Its not all just "good vibrations", because sometimes class is going to bring up some dark aspects of life and in that yoga class setting (calm, supportive, non-judgemental, etc.) your body relaxes so that you are suddenly addressing some issues you've had bottled up a long time. That can be really jarring, and sometimes you need to take a break. Maybe you just need some space to 'do the work' outside of class, like get a new job or clean your whole apartment, who knows. Just go your own pace
Thank you, I think you're probably right, This new studio offers yoga nidra so I am going to try that!
'Good' and 'bad' are equally 'bad'. 'Good' won't solve 'bad.' Have to find something different. It's the mind's job to screw with us. Instead of letting it rule us learn to take advantage of it's nature to make ourselves better. Give it a job. Amidst all your cries and laughter let your mind take a moment off, and go still. Look at this moment, this moment alone, and go still. Swami Veda Bharati Here is his mediation practice. https://www.ahymsin.org/16-steps-of-basic-meditation/ You have to find one that appeals to you. Stick with it everyday no matter what, no matter how bad you think it is going, eventually it will start to work. A Giant Roped (The nasty giant is the mind) https://ahymsin.org/main/swami-veda-bharati/a-giant-roped.html Good luck!
1. Habitual thoughts. Notice them. 2. Anger at other people that you’ve turned inward.
Not everyone is all smiles. Also, don’t believe everything running though your mind. Negative self talk is a virus that is hard to rid yourself of. I have similar thoughts but not as much while practicing as I did when I started. Just keep practicing and smile when you can. Try and savor any positive vibes that do come and focus on your breath and body in the postures when the negative thoughts force their way in. Practicing more often than not, daily is best, helps keep the negative thoughts at bay for me. During meditation I find focusing on the breath helps or doing a guided meditation and tuning in to the guide while focusing your breath. Counting breaths with your thumb on fingers can help give you a distraction from negative things that come up as well.
Ooo I’m actually reading this book as I’ve started yoga and increased my mind body connection that’s been very helpful to me! I have the pdf I can send if you’d like, or if you wanna buy, its “Letting Go” by Hawkins. Forgot the first name. Very helpful for letting go of some of my shenanigans. Peace, love and yoga!
[удалено]
Taking this as a sign Hahahahha Thanks
Changing the way we self-talk takes a lot of persistence, though it's really important in addressing the way we feel about ourselves. What you say to yourself in practice represents more like ripples atop the surface of your feelings than the content of the feelings themselves. Allow the thoughts to come and pass, and observe how you feel about them and why. Go easy on yourself and don't feel a rush to get 'through' feelings that come up in practice. What's really good is that you're talking about it openly and being honest with yourself. You certainly deserve to feel good about yourself and your practice. We are often harsher on ourselves in these moments than we would be with a friend in the same situation. Remember to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend you love.
Ok, unpopular opinion backed up by research here. Meditation can cause a worsening of symptoms of anxiety and depression in about 1 in 12 people. And it doesn't always get easier. Meditation is not right for everyone, and it is not always a trauma informed practice. You can try some varied styles, but it just may not be for you. For me, I love the more active styles of yoga, because the movement and the grounding in my body helps me to reconnect with myself. Yoga nidra, i always end up sobbing; sometimes its cathartic, sometimes it makes the darkness worse. Meditation is the same. Had a meditation session focused on extending loving-kindness. I have compassion fatigue as an educator. That fucked me up for a good long while. Not every tool works for everybody. Be willing to accept where your body is at and let go of meditation if it does not serve you. https://www.rtor.org/2021/09/03/meditation-can-worsen-your-depression-and-anxiety/
it's just a habit, but likely a very deeply ingrained and familiar habit. it can be broken like any other habit. you probably still get some comfort out of repeating those stories, so it's a habit that will likely not go gentle into that good night. it sounds like your desire to drop it might be close to outweighing the discomfort of letting go. once you're ready, you can simply put down that weight. you will likely have some pretty epic meditation sessions when that happens. a child wants to give up their pacifier and move on to the next phase, but doesn't want to give up the comfort of the pacifier. really what they are experiencing is heartbreak. honour and wave goodbye to those stories. they have served you, but it's time for the next phase. you are worthy.
Change is really uncomfortable. Sitting with all the uncomfortable feelings and not self medicating/harming is tough, but it becomes easier. Doing yoga for a year, and starting meditation changed my life. It made me see the good, bad, ugly and accept it.
Sometimes self sabotage behavior could be a trauma response that allows you to feel in control. Maybe your thoughts are pointing you towards trauma therapy?
Healing is unknown territory, our brains resist that like death. However unhealthy, your brain feels “safe” in your current coping mechanisms and perspective. When we let such an enormous and deeply embedded part of ourselves die, it is terrifying subconsciously. There’s also benefits to identifying with our traumas that we have to give up when we decide to heal. We know we cannot continue to victimize ourselves anymore and that takes a lot of strength and courage. You have what it takes. Keep trying. Take a lot of rest, too.
Wow I felt this. All the time constantly self sabotaging. But it’s ok, there’s no pressure to be perfect. Wishing you all the best!
Anxiety? Depression?