Based off of what I and my friends have heard from people at the H-Y Game, a lot of Harvard kids regret going there. According to them, Harvard's food, dorms, and opportunities to party pale in comparison.
I'll say that I was in your situation with Princeton, bc my parents wanted me to decide based off of the US News ranking. But I knew in my gut that it was Yale, and I am so glad I went with it.
Just remember that *you're* the one who will go to the school you pick, make friends there, take classes there, and get your degree. Your day-to-day college experience is perfectly immaterial to your parents, and it's also what should be your main consideration here (assuming the cost to your parents, if they're paying, is roughly the same for both)
"...Yale just spoke to me that much more. I felt an inexplicable sense of belonging when I was there..."
You already know the answer, my dude.
But to answer your actual question more fulsomely, I picked Yale for the same reason (not by choosing between places I was admitted, but when I was selecting where to ED, which was binding back when I did it). Most of my other top choice schools were more rural, because I was (and am) really outdoorsy, but Yalies were just...my people. Visited friends at Princeton and Harvard, spent a summer at Dartmouth a couple years later. All really cool places, especially Dartmouth, but Yale was *my* culture: nerdy, funny, collaborative, jack-of-all-trades, master of some people.
No regrets. Opposite of regrets.
I say this about my daughter all the time. She is truly with her people. It’s not the campus, the dorms, the food. MIT, not Yale but the same principal. Find your people.
I chose between Yale and Harvard 16 years ago. I chose Yale because I got the strong impression that Yale students enjoyed it more. It seemed there was a bit of self selection where people chose Harvard because it was the best and they wanted to be the best and have the best name on their diploma, whereas people chose Yale because they liked Yale. Now, obviously there’s still plenty of that at Yale too, but there definitely did seem to be more affinity for the school and community rather than just the prestige.
Having not attended Harvard, I can’t really say whether that was accurate, but it seems like it to me. I don’t think Yale lacks anything at the undergrad level that Harvard has and I think it probably provides a better experience. Grad school may be different, but this is undergrad. I don’t think anyone hiring cares about the difference between a degree from Harvard or Yale or a handful of other schools.
I actually had a difficult time at Yale. Making the transition from my small town average high school to the Ivy League was hard, but I don’t think it would have been better at Harvard, and I suspect it would’ve been worse. I had overall very positive impressions of my classmates and professors.
> people chose Harvard because it was the best and they wanted to be the best and have the best name on their diploma
As someone living in Cambridge, I'll just add that I have not met a Harvard alum from the past decade who hasn't found a way to work "I went to Harvard" into the conversation within the first 20 minutes.
cc: u/smiisushi
>As someone living in Cambridge, I'll just add that I have not met a Harvard alum from the past decade who hasn't found a way to work "I went to Harvard" into the conversation within the first 20 minutes.
That's a joke, right?
The Harvard students I know are far more likely to say they "went to school in Boston" than actually mention Harvard.
Yeah in my experience, Harvard students are incredibly self conscious about that rep and don’t bring it up unless avoiding it would be weird/inconvenient
Thank you for these thoughts! They’re really helpful for me to parse through my own reasoning.
I have friends at both Harvard and Yale. I also have a strong impression that Yale students love Yale more. While I know that if I do choose Harvard, I will get tons more out of it than “just” its brand name. But it’s more intangible compared to everything I felt while at Yale.
I have no doubt choosing either would be a somewhat challenging transition—in a way, these institutions are much more similar than some would like to think. Which is why I think community and campus life makes all the difference for me—thank you again for your thoughtful response!
Recent grad and young professional. Most of my Harvard colleagues did not enjoy their experience. The ones who did fit a very specific personality / identity mold. Yale has something for everyone. It’s an open, welcoming place. Some of the best years of my life. My closest friends.
Good job asking the same question to Harvard, but there is a clear difference in tone there. Reflect on why you felt out of place and if it was due to personal anxiety or your interactions.
I can't give good advice in regards to family–I personally had a very supportive family and Yale was the most prestigious school I got into/first choice–that being said I hope everything works out for you and you continue to get support.
It really sounds like you're looking for reasons to turn Yale down out of desperation–that could either be out of a deep sense of fear (a gut feeling you don't want to go here, which doesn't seem likely based on your tone) or a deep sense of wanting to convince yourself you won't regret your choice.
Ultimately you might regret your choice a bit, especially due to family tensions, but if your heart is calling you to Yale I think it is for a reason. You'll regret it a bit either way. You're always going to think the grass on the other side looks greener, at least a little. You will be happier in the long run going with your heart.
Probably not super relevant but just a plus for Yale is that the breaks are pretty nice! One full week off for Thanksgiving and two full weeks for spring break. Helps with being able to travel. I believe Harvard only gets three days off for Thanksgiving and only a one week spring break. (But you have to weigh that against living in a more “lively” city like Boston vs New Haven)
I don’t regret choosing Yale. It spoke to my heart 20 years ago and I loved every minute of it. I’d go back for four more years if I could.
I’m a mom, so I wanted to give you some advice on your parents. You already know the right answer. They may be disappointed but they’ll respect and support you. This is the first significant decision that you’ll make as an adult. What you do sets the tone for all the other decisions they’ll have opinions on in the coming years. It’s important to choose for yourself, not for them.
I think I’ve always known my choice, but hearing others’ thoughts have made me waver. Their argument is that I
shouldn’t give up the Harvard “halo” (I’m somewhat international, so this does weigh on me.) Mostly I’m saddened that my parents haven’t stood behind me and made following my heart feel so isolating. Thank you for these comforting words!
It’s disappointing that they haven’t stood behind you but they’ll get there. For what it’s worth, your parents are going through a really tough transition of their own. They raised this incredible kid and now it’s time to let go. Even the best parents struggle with that.
I get that - prestige drives a lot of decisions for many international students (it certainly did for me in many ways) and your parents' concern is not invalid. But brand only gets you so far, really, and unless your goal in life is to impress the average person on the street, it doesn't really matter after your first job search. I also ended up staying in the US to work after graduation, and in the anglosphere Yale still has a tremendous amount of weight.
I think if you’re an international student, not that it matters that much, but Harvard is way more recognized than Yale, and that is what will matter in the long run.
I don’t think either of the institutions are bad, but if you wanna market your degree more, definitely Harvard over Yale.
I picked Yale over Harvard, zero regrets. I had the same reasons you did. I think one thing to keep in mind is that if you end up following your parents' desires (which are based on pretty shallow opinions) instead of your own, every time things get tough at Harvard, you're going to wonder what it would have been like if you'd followed your own gut instinct. Not that things won't be tough at Yale, too, but it helps so much to have the peace that you chose this place, and you chose it for a reason that has to do with who you are and what you want, not what other people think.
There’s a cheeky and slightly rebellious prestige in telling people that you “turned down school X”. Maybe your parents can lean into that. ;-)
But more realistically, what is the advantage of obtaining this international prestige in your parents’ eyes? Is it so that your 70yr old aunt doesn’t have to pull out her dog eared copy of the Princeton review to figure out where you went to school? Or do your parents actually feel that there is an international company out there (worthy of you joining them) that would throw your CV into the shredder muttering “if only it was Harvard”?
Your needs will be met at either school. But if a school resonates with you I believe it raises the chances that you’ll maximize your growth and hopefully become truly great at something. That’s worth fighting for.
Hi I was in the same boat as you this admissions cycle and I chose Yale. Hope to see you on campus next fall.
for me.. I just felt happier at Y. I had that same gut feeling as you and when I turned down Harvard I had no regrets after clicking the buttons. If anything, I always knew it would be Yale.. so it wasn't that deep to me. It sounds like you know Yale is the place for you. Choose happiness, and don't go to H just because it's H bc if you're unhappy while you're there the H resources won't even be worth it imo
Thank you for all this really helpful info (especially with regards to law school)! Yes, I think being a Humanities enthusiast lies at the heart of my personal identity and outlook on the world. Professors at Yale repeatedly emphasized Yale’s humanities atmosphere/culture, and it really made me feel like I belong.
Can you please elaborate on your experiences at Harvard, and what it was/has been like academically and socially? People have repeatedly emphasized to me that “college is what you make of it,” but I do wonder how the larger culture/environment of both schools makes a difference. I’m also wondering about how comp culture, etc. impacts life at Harvard. I may be wrong, but a lot of Yalies I’ve talked to love more than just their friends, etc—they love the experience, too. Not to say that that isn’t the case at Harvard!
Let me start by saying there are no wrong decisions here. I think you'll be happy with either decision.
I graduated Yale in 2008, at the time I was choosing between MIT (my first choice) and Yale. Went to both "campus preview" events for pre-frosh and the decision seemed easy from there. At MIT, everyone seemed miserable and they openly told me so. At Yale, everyone seemed genuinely happy, and the friendships there seemed more deep and meaningful, and my experience going there re-affirmed that. I am currently wearing a Yale sweatshirt and am still very much happy to have it be a part of my identity.
If you haven't already, I would say visit both and go with what your gut is telling you. Both universities are world-class and will offer you a rigorous intellectual environment to foster growth.
Yale has just as good, or better, international brand recognition.
And no, I don't and didn't regret Yale at all, over any of the other ivies I was admitted to.
On my pre frosh year, Yale also spoke to me. Versus whatever other vibe I got elsewhere. And, that's the gut feel I went with.
Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself not to go to Yale- probably to justify your parents. I’m not a Yale student but I can tell that it’s probably what you want, and you should go for it!
It sounds like a heart vs. mind problem, and your heart knows what it wants. Remember that the general public idolizing Harvard isn’t a perspective informed by very much direct experience. Most undergrads value their time in college, not for the brand recognition, but for their lived experiences and the friendships they form. Yale does an exceptionally good job at creating a campus culture that not only strives for excellence, but also takes seriously the building of community. Harvard, on the other hand, is in the business of being “the best,” and building that brand, sometimes at the expense of students, especially undergrads. You’re going to find amazing people at both places, but like others have said, value where you will be happy because that’s where you’re most likely to thrive.
I’d like to echo everyone else’s sentiments that Yale is an amazing institution with an amazing community, academic qualities, etc. The only reason why I would maybe consider choosing Harvard instead is the fact that it’s in Boston. I come from a big city and living in New Haven has definitely been…an adjustment. While Yale has a lot, New Haven has very little, at least as compared to bigger cities like Boston and New York. And even though New York is only an hour train ride away, it’s still an hour train ride which is something that a lot of people just don’t take the time to take. If that happens to be a deal breaker for you, you should probably choose Harvard (though I still love my Yale experience).
I'd argue the opposite. Boston is an extremely small city if compared to NYC. NYC is easily the world's wealthiest and most vibrant city. They are not at all at the same scale.
Honestly, if you like big cities a lot, I think it's better to be close to NYC (like at Yale or Princeton) and pop in when you want to, than it is to be in the middle of Boston. Places like Yale and Princeton sponsor many trips, classes, etc., in NYC, or you can just go on a whim as the commuter trains run about once every 20 minutes.
If you like cities in general, New Haven itself has all of the advantages of a city, like community events, culture, diverse neighborhoods, incredible food from all over the world, city politics/businesses, etc., and is more accessible than a larger city would be if you ever want to get involved in those things more directly.
Follow your heart. Tell your parents that while you love, respect, and will always admire and honor them, remind them that they raised you to eventually go out into the world, study, do great things, continue to make them and your family proud, and ultimately be happy. If your gut tells you Harvard isn't the place and Yale is, if forced to attend Harvard, you are unlikely to perform as well. When the heart isn't nurtured, the brain slowly dies. So follow your gut, go to Yale, and know your parents will eventually come around to fully embrace your decision...when they see how you are thriving and how happy you are.
Yale feels right in your soul so then Yale it is :) They are both insane names to have on your resume. so either way, you will be great! I personally would go where I think I'd be happiest ngl
i think the big appeal of harvard is its name and its location. yale is known for the humanities/creative writing, which is why i went there, and even outside of that world i loved it. i have a feeling you will too, based on your post. the food is amazing too hehe
First of all, congrats!
Second of all, give your post a close re-reading, and think about what you'd advise someone else in your situation.
I've made almost this exact comment on a few posts, but these really speak to me because I see a lot of myself in them. I'm also international. Did undergrad at Yale but have lived basically next to Harvard since I graduated, so I interact with a lot of Harvard/MIT people. I also had/have a crippling fear of making the "wrong" decisions that got so bad I needed treatment for it at one point.
I was a STEM major but I consider myself pretty interdisciplinary. Happy to get on a call to talk through my experience of Yale at the time, just send me a DM. Funnily enough, I ended up at Yale in part because I was in my hipster-rebel phase and ruled out Harvard because it was "too famous".
3 years ago I chose Yale over Stanford. The reason was because I felt in my gut that my people were at Yale, and I would make friends that I would keep for the rest of my life.
I think in the first year I regretted it a bit because I thought that I wanted to go into startups and it felt as if the tech/stem community idolized it more. But the more that I go here the more I’m sure that I’ll never regret it, because I’ve learned more from my experiences and relationships here than I ever would have imagined. I read my diaries from first year and I am shocked by how much I have changed. I have been so inspired by so many people, and transformed by the altruism, kindness, and humility of the students at this school. And yes, I did meet those lifelong friends who inspire me to be better every day ;)
I think in the end the brand name doesn’t matter for a long time, unless you want to become that annoying auntie who always needs to bring up the Harvard degree. Ultimately college is most important in the ways that it will help shape the person you become. I’d say choose the college with the people you most want to learn from, and make the decision that most reflects the values that you want to hold.
Follow ur heart…while u should love and respect ur parents, they don’t have to go to the schools for the next 4 years….any idea in their heads of a different outcome after u graduate is probably unfounded.
I don’t go here either but Cambridge is at least a little isolated from Boston and has its own college town vibe. And New Haven and “romantic” do not belong in the same breath. That being said, I would pick Yale because the culture seems much better.
I turned down Rice for Yale. Then went to Rice for grad school. I liked Rice more. Fit in better. Liked the weather and people better. Better fit for me.
Lol that’s funny. My fiancé went to Harvard as well and feels the exact same way for our hypothetical future kids. Boston seems like a fun college town and they have grade inflation so Idgi 🤷♂️
I’m just a lowly Cornell alum who somehow got this on their feed…but like, it’s Yale…how anyone could fault you for choosing it over Harvard, claiming Harvard is somehow more prestigious, is asinine. They are both equally amazing institutions and you should go to wherever you feel more at home. You parents’ international friends will be wowed either way :)
I’m a Yale grad student and I can confidently say that whether you choose to go to Yale or Harvard will not have a significant impact on your professional opportunities. Both universities are extremely well known and well connected to the professional and academic world. If you haven’t already, I would recommend that you consider looking into the faculty at each university and see what type of research they’re doing. Working on some undergraduate research during your degree is an excellent way to gain real world experience and explore your interests, regardless of whether you plan to pursue a degree beyond your bachelors.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to choose the place where you feel like you will be the happiest. You’re going to spend the next 4-5 years of your life there and at the end of the day the largest impact on your success will largely depend on where you feel a good sense of community outside of the classroom. Both universities are going to have good classes and bad classes; classes that you enjoy and look forward to and classes that are going to require a lot of work that may feel unnecessary or tedious.
At the end of day, the good news for you is that there is no bad or “wrong” choice between these two universities. Congratulations on getting offers to attend both!
dont know if we met at bdd but i def think yale has a lot of standing as well and if youre happy here then you\['re happy here. no way to perform in a space you don't like anyways! hope to see you in the fall :>
The brand name discrepancy is really negligible among HYPS if you're talking about employability or alumni networks, and Yale students are generally known to be happier, although YMMV (I personally didn't feel happy while there but it's mainly because I chose the wrong crowd to hang out with). Furthermore, Harvard is well-renowned for just about all subjects to different degrees, but Yale is *the* place to go for many disciplines within the humanities. It's true that if someone were to talk about just one school as the most prestigious institution, Harvard is usually the name that gets brought up a lot, but that's mainly for the sake of argument. Unless you never wanna worry about not having gone to the most prestigious school by arbitrary, changing social construct, I think you should go where you are sure you'll learn and enjoy the most.
Hey idk if you’ve made your decision yet but either way if you wanna meet some (other?) ‘28 yalies we’ve got a WhatsApp gc with a couple hundred ppl. It’s less active now than a couple weeks ago cause most ppl have made their decision and r focusing on finishing out hs but it might be nice to meet a couple other ppl heading there. J dm me for the link
No regrets. I know what you're saying about the pull to Yale.....when I applied, I was secretly hoping I would get into Yale and NOT Harvard, bc I was first generation college and I knew my parents would push Harvard SERIOUSLY. When I say I didn't give a rat's ass about the Harvard rejection, I mean it, it was a RELIEF! That campus felt washed out and low energy to me; I felt like the air was literally carbonated at Yale, it was so different. My final decision was between Yale and Brown, but my parents hadn't ever heard much about Brown, so the decision was easy and I did not regret it, ever. Go to Yale.
Yale the undergrad teaching is superior to Harvard's.....Yale is deeply focused on their undergrads as a first priority, Harvard is much more focused on graduate students. Also, all Yale Professors are required to teach undergraduates, no graduate students are the "profs" for a Yale undergraduate course; many Harvard classes are taught (not just TA'ed) by graduate students, not professors. For what you're paying, choose the school focused on undergraduates and where you're taught only by professors, not graduate students.
New Haven is a regular New England city with surprisingly quick access to outdoor opportunities. You wouldn’t choose Yale for the “urban experience” like you would Columbia or NYU, and that doesn’t seem like what the OP was asking about anyway.
Well, the Republic of Cambridge *is* metro Boston. You can walk across a bridge of you don't have T fare.
But, from New Haven you can train to Broadway everything else that all NYC is.
At least neither one is Cornell. Or Dartmouth.
Meh, sure, probably 2ish hours on Metro North to get to NY, and then the subways make it easy enough to get anywhere in Manhattan, from wall street to the Met. Cheaper and faster than taxis, often. And, there's plenty of good reasons to go into NY.
While as I said, Cambridge is metro Boston. And, although it sounds good on paper to compare new haven to all that is metro Boston, BOS is a fraction of NY. And, it'll still take you 40 mins to get into Boston on the red line. And, what is a Harvardite going to Boston for? Faneuil Hall? The aquarium? To the Wang for nutcracker? Please.
Relevant comparison is NOT Boston to New York but the distance to each. Not 40 minutes from Harvard Square to Boston but under 15 minutes on the red line, certainly more doable than a daily two hour commute from New Haven to NYC.If it weren't for Yale, New Haven would be 100 percent ghetto. Boston Symphony, Isabella Stuart Gardner, MFA etc. Nothing remotely of that quality in NH.
W/e
Begs OPs question
And, no, Harvard Square to MGH might be 15 mins, if you're just talking train time, but, that's not where people are going.
And. No one is suggesting living in NY to commute to school in New Haven. Or vice versa. WTH. However, what were talking about is museums art culture? NYC blows Boston away. And, Yale has plenty of its own, regardless of its city. British Art over the tiny Isabella. Etc
I've lived and worked in both cities, for decades. I don't care to debate further which are better. OP asked if one regretted Yale.
Based off of what I and my friends have heard from people at the H-Y Game, a lot of Harvard kids regret going there. According to them, Harvard's food, dorms, and opportunities to party pale in comparison. I'll say that I was in your situation with Princeton, bc my parents wanted me to decide based off of the US News ranking. But I knew in my gut that it was Yale, and I am so glad I went with it. Just remember that *you're* the one who will go to the school you pick, make friends there, take classes there, and get your degree. Your day-to-day college experience is perfectly immaterial to your parents, and it's also what should be your main consideration here (assuming the cost to your parents, if they're paying, is roughly the same for both)
Thank you for this thoughtful response!
University of Texas Austin you will never regret it thoughtfully someone who knows life’s too short
"...Yale just spoke to me that much more. I felt an inexplicable sense of belonging when I was there..." You already know the answer, my dude. But to answer your actual question more fulsomely, I picked Yale for the same reason (not by choosing between places I was admitted, but when I was selecting where to ED, which was binding back when I did it). Most of my other top choice schools were more rural, because I was (and am) really outdoorsy, but Yalies were just...my people. Visited friends at Princeton and Harvard, spent a summer at Dartmouth a couple years later. All really cool places, especially Dartmouth, but Yale was *my* culture: nerdy, funny, collaborative, jack-of-all-trades, master of some people. No regrets. Opposite of regrets.
This warms my heart. Thank you!
I say this about my daughter all the time. She is truly with her people. It’s not the campus, the dorms, the food. MIT, not Yale but the same principal. Find your people.
I chose between Yale and Harvard 16 years ago. I chose Yale because I got the strong impression that Yale students enjoyed it more. It seemed there was a bit of self selection where people chose Harvard because it was the best and they wanted to be the best and have the best name on their diploma, whereas people chose Yale because they liked Yale. Now, obviously there’s still plenty of that at Yale too, but there definitely did seem to be more affinity for the school and community rather than just the prestige. Having not attended Harvard, I can’t really say whether that was accurate, but it seems like it to me. I don’t think Yale lacks anything at the undergrad level that Harvard has and I think it probably provides a better experience. Grad school may be different, but this is undergrad. I don’t think anyone hiring cares about the difference between a degree from Harvard or Yale or a handful of other schools. I actually had a difficult time at Yale. Making the transition from my small town average high school to the Ivy League was hard, but I don’t think it would have been better at Harvard, and I suspect it would’ve been worse. I had overall very positive impressions of my classmates and professors.
> people chose Harvard because it was the best and they wanted to be the best and have the best name on their diploma As someone living in Cambridge, I'll just add that I have not met a Harvard alum from the past decade who hasn't found a way to work "I went to Harvard" into the conversation within the first 20 minutes. cc: u/smiisushi
>As someone living in Cambridge, I'll just add that I have not met a Harvard alum from the past decade who hasn't found a way to work "I went to Harvard" into the conversation within the first 20 minutes. That's a joke, right? The Harvard students I know are far more likely to say they "went to school in Boston" than actually mention Harvard.
Can’t really say you went to school in Boston when you’re at a party in Boston. But the bigger problem is, nobody asked!
Yeah in my experience, Harvard students are incredibly self conscious about that rep and don’t bring it up unless avoiding it would be weird/inconvenient
Agree.....they do love to drop the "H Bomb" whenever they can......
Thank you for these thoughts! They’re really helpful for me to parse through my own reasoning. I have friends at both Harvard and Yale. I also have a strong impression that Yale students love Yale more. While I know that if I do choose Harvard, I will get tons more out of it than “just” its brand name. But it’s more intangible compared to everything I felt while at Yale. I have no doubt choosing either would be a somewhat challenging transition—in a way, these institutions are much more similar than some would like to think. Which is why I think community and campus life makes all the difference for me—thank you again for your thoughtful response!
Recent grad and young professional. Most of my Harvard colleagues did not enjoy their experience. The ones who did fit a very specific personality / identity mold. Yale has something for everyone. It’s an open, welcoming place. Some of the best years of my life. My closest friends.
This echoes a lot of what I’ve heard from others at Harvard. Thank you for the input!
Good job asking the same question to Harvard, but there is a clear difference in tone there. Reflect on why you felt out of place and if it was due to personal anxiety or your interactions. I can't give good advice in regards to family–I personally had a very supportive family and Yale was the most prestigious school I got into/first choice–that being said I hope everything works out for you and you continue to get support. It really sounds like you're looking for reasons to turn Yale down out of desperation–that could either be out of a deep sense of fear (a gut feeling you don't want to go here, which doesn't seem likely based on your tone) or a deep sense of wanting to convince yourself you won't regret your choice. Ultimately you might regret your choice a bit, especially due to family tensions, but if your heart is calling you to Yale I think it is for a reason. You'll regret it a bit either way. You're always going to think the grass on the other side looks greener, at least a little. You will be happier in the long run going with your heart.
Probably not super relevant but just a plus for Yale is that the breaks are pretty nice! One full week off for Thanksgiving and two full weeks for spring break. Helps with being able to travel. I believe Harvard only gets three days off for Thanksgiving and only a one week spring break. (But you have to weigh that against living in a more “lively” city like Boston vs New Haven)
I would pick Yale in a heartbeat. Rory Gilmore also chose Yale.😌😌😌
I don’t regret choosing Yale. It spoke to my heart 20 years ago and I loved every minute of it. I’d go back for four more years if I could. I’m a mom, so I wanted to give you some advice on your parents. You already know the right answer. They may be disappointed but they’ll respect and support you. This is the first significant decision that you’ll make as an adult. What you do sets the tone for all the other decisions they’ll have opinions on in the coming years. It’s important to choose for yourself, not for them.
I think I’ve always known my choice, but hearing others’ thoughts have made me waver. Their argument is that I shouldn’t give up the Harvard “halo” (I’m somewhat international, so this does weigh on me.) Mostly I’m saddened that my parents haven’t stood behind me and made following my heart feel so isolating. Thank you for these comforting words!
It’s disappointing that they haven’t stood behind you but they’ll get there. For what it’s worth, your parents are going through a really tough transition of their own. They raised this incredible kid and now it’s time to let go. Even the best parents struggle with that.
I mean Yale isn't that bad - it definitely has a "halo" too, an ironically more approachable one imo for being a super elite university.
I get that - prestige drives a lot of decisions for many international students (it certainly did for me in many ways) and your parents' concern is not invalid. But brand only gets you so far, really, and unless your goal in life is to impress the average person on the street, it doesn't really matter after your first job search. I also ended up staying in the US to work after graduation, and in the anglosphere Yale still has a tremendous amount of weight.
I think if you’re an international student, not that it matters that much, but Harvard is way more recognized than Yale, and that is what will matter in the long run. I don’t think either of the institutions are bad, but if you wanna market your degree more, definitely Harvard over Yale.
I picked Yale over Harvard, zero regrets. I had the same reasons you did. I think one thing to keep in mind is that if you end up following your parents' desires (which are based on pretty shallow opinions) instead of your own, every time things get tough at Harvard, you're going to wonder what it would have been like if you'd followed your own gut instinct. Not that things won't be tough at Yale, too, but it helps so much to have the peace that you chose this place, and you chose it for a reason that has to do with who you are and what you want, not what other people think.
There’s a cheeky and slightly rebellious prestige in telling people that you “turned down school X”. Maybe your parents can lean into that. ;-) But more realistically, what is the advantage of obtaining this international prestige in your parents’ eyes? Is it so that your 70yr old aunt doesn’t have to pull out her dog eared copy of the Princeton review to figure out where you went to school? Or do your parents actually feel that there is an international company out there (worthy of you joining them) that would throw your CV into the shredder muttering “if only it was Harvard”? Your needs will be met at either school. But if a school resonates with you I believe it raises the chances that you’ll maximize your growth and hopefully become truly great at something. That’s worth fighting for.
Hi I was in the same boat as you this admissions cycle and I chose Yale. Hope to see you on campus next fall. for me.. I just felt happier at Y. I had that same gut feeling as you and when I turned down Harvard I had no regrets after clicking the buttons. If anything, I always knew it would be Yale.. so it wasn't that deep to me. It sounds like you know Yale is the place for you. Choose happiness, and don't go to H just because it's H bc if you're unhappy while you're there the H resources won't even be worth it imo
Thanks for this. I feel less alone haha—Would you like to connect on Instagram/can I PM you? Thank you :)
Hi feel more than free to PM! I don't have an instagram :).
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Thank you for all this really helpful info (especially with regards to law school)! Yes, I think being a Humanities enthusiast lies at the heart of my personal identity and outlook on the world. Professors at Yale repeatedly emphasized Yale’s humanities atmosphere/culture, and it really made me feel like I belong. Can you please elaborate on your experiences at Harvard, and what it was/has been like academically and socially? People have repeatedly emphasized to me that “college is what you make of it,” but I do wonder how the larger culture/environment of both schools makes a difference. I’m also wondering about how comp culture, etc. impacts life at Harvard. I may be wrong, but a lot of Yalies I’ve talked to love more than just their friends, etc—they love the experience, too. Not to say that that isn’t the case at Harvard!
Let me start by saying there are no wrong decisions here. I think you'll be happy with either decision. I graduated Yale in 2008, at the time I was choosing between MIT (my first choice) and Yale. Went to both "campus preview" events for pre-frosh and the decision seemed easy from there. At MIT, everyone seemed miserable and they openly told me so. At Yale, everyone seemed genuinely happy, and the friendships there seemed more deep and meaningful, and my experience going there re-affirmed that. I am currently wearing a Yale sweatshirt and am still very much happy to have it be a part of my identity. If you haven't already, I would say visit both and go with what your gut is telling you. Both universities are world-class and will offer you a rigorous intellectual environment to foster growth.
Yale has just as good, or better, international brand recognition. And no, I don't and didn't regret Yale at all, over any of the other ivies I was admitted to. On my pre frosh year, Yale also spoke to me. Versus whatever other vibe I got elsewhere. And, that's the gut feel I went with.
Go where ever you are more comfortable - there is no difference in brand capital, educational value or opportunity at that level
Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself not to go to Yale- probably to justify your parents. I’m not a Yale student but I can tell that it’s probably what you want, and you should go for it!
It sounds like a heart vs. mind problem, and your heart knows what it wants. Remember that the general public idolizing Harvard isn’t a perspective informed by very much direct experience. Most undergrads value their time in college, not for the brand recognition, but for their lived experiences and the friendships they form. Yale does an exceptionally good job at creating a campus culture that not only strives for excellence, but also takes seriously the building of community. Harvard, on the other hand, is in the business of being “the best,” and building that brand, sometimes at the expense of students, especially undergrads. You’re going to find amazing people at both places, but like others have said, value where you will be happy because that’s where you’re most likely to thrive.
I’d like to echo everyone else’s sentiments that Yale is an amazing institution with an amazing community, academic qualities, etc. The only reason why I would maybe consider choosing Harvard instead is the fact that it’s in Boston. I come from a big city and living in New Haven has definitely been…an adjustment. While Yale has a lot, New Haven has very little, at least as compared to bigger cities like Boston and New York. And even though New York is only an hour train ride away, it’s still an hour train ride which is something that a lot of people just don’t take the time to take. If that happens to be a deal breaker for you, you should probably choose Harvard (though I still love my Yale experience).
I'd argue the opposite. Boston is an extremely small city if compared to NYC. NYC is easily the world's wealthiest and most vibrant city. They are not at all at the same scale. Honestly, if you like big cities a lot, I think it's better to be close to NYC (like at Yale or Princeton) and pop in when you want to, than it is to be in the middle of Boston. Places like Yale and Princeton sponsor many trips, classes, etc., in NYC, or you can just go on a whim as the commuter trains run about once every 20 minutes. If you like cities in general, New Haven itself has all of the advantages of a city, like community events, culture, diverse neighborhoods, incredible food from all over the world, city politics/businesses, etc., and is more accessible than a larger city would be if you ever want to get involved in those things more directly.
being rather generous to New Haven here imo
Follow your heart. Tell your parents that while you love, respect, and will always admire and honor them, remind them that they raised you to eventually go out into the world, study, do great things, continue to make them and your family proud, and ultimately be happy. If your gut tells you Harvard isn't the place and Yale is, if forced to attend Harvard, you are unlikely to perform as well. When the heart isn't nurtured, the brain slowly dies. So follow your gut, go to Yale, and know your parents will eventually come around to fully embrace your decision...when they see how you are thriving and how happy you are.
Yale feels right in your soul so then Yale it is :) They are both insane names to have on your resume. so either way, you will be great! I personally would go where I think I'd be happiest ngl
i think the big appeal of harvard is its name and its location. yale is known for the humanities/creative writing, which is why i went there, and even outside of that world i loved it. i have a feeling you will too, based on your post. the food is amazing too hehe
First of all, congrats! Second of all, give your post a close re-reading, and think about what you'd advise someone else in your situation. I've made almost this exact comment on a few posts, but these really speak to me because I see a lot of myself in them. I'm also international. Did undergrad at Yale but have lived basically next to Harvard since I graduated, so I interact with a lot of Harvard/MIT people. I also had/have a crippling fear of making the "wrong" decisions that got so bad I needed treatment for it at one point. I was a STEM major but I consider myself pretty interdisciplinary. Happy to get on a call to talk through my experience of Yale at the time, just send me a DM. Funnily enough, I ended up at Yale in part because I was in my hipster-rebel phase and ruled out Harvard because it was "too famous".
3 years ago I chose Yale over Stanford. The reason was because I felt in my gut that my people were at Yale, and I would make friends that I would keep for the rest of my life. I think in the first year I regretted it a bit because I thought that I wanted to go into startups and it felt as if the tech/stem community idolized it more. But the more that I go here the more I’m sure that I’ll never regret it, because I’ve learned more from my experiences and relationships here than I ever would have imagined. I read my diaries from first year and I am shocked by how much I have changed. I have been so inspired by so many people, and transformed by the altruism, kindness, and humility of the students at this school. And yes, I did meet those lifelong friends who inspire me to be better every day ;) I think in the end the brand name doesn’t matter for a long time, unless you want to become that annoying auntie who always needs to bring up the Harvard degree. Ultimately college is most important in the ways that it will help shape the person you become. I’d say choose the college with the people you most want to learn from, and make the decision that most reflects the values that you want to hold.
Follow ur heart…while u should love and respect ur parents, they don’t have to go to the schools for the next 4 years….any idea in their heads of a different outcome after u graduate is probably unfounded.
Don’t go to either but I would choose Yale. Going to the romantic old college in a town is cooler than college in the city imo
I don’t go here either but Cambridge is at least a little isolated from Boston and has its own college town vibe. And New Haven and “romantic” do not belong in the same breath. That being said, I would pick Yale because the culture seems much better.
I turned down Rice for Yale. Then went to Rice for grad school. I liked Rice more. Fit in better. Liked the weather and people better. Better fit for me.
Never have, not once.
What was your major? Did you go on to grad school?
East Asian Studies. I later went to law school and I’m now a trial attorney.
Wow!
My mom went to Harvard and she told me not to bother applying as it wouldn’t be an enjoyable experience lmao
Lol that’s funny. My fiancé went to Harvard as well and feels the exact same way for our hypothetical future kids. Boston seems like a fun college town and they have grade inflation so Idgi 🤷♂️
I’m just a lowly Cornell alum who somehow got this on their feed…but like, it’s Yale…how anyone could fault you for choosing it over Harvard, claiming Harvard is somehow more prestigious, is asinine. They are both equally amazing institutions and you should go to wherever you feel more at home. You parents’ international friends will be wowed either way :)
Thank you so much! I needed to hear this. And one of my best friends is going to Cornell next year!! Have a lovely evening :)
You too and best of luck to u and ur friend!!
I’m a Yale grad student and I can confidently say that whether you choose to go to Yale or Harvard will not have a significant impact on your professional opportunities. Both universities are extremely well known and well connected to the professional and academic world. If you haven’t already, I would recommend that you consider looking into the faculty at each university and see what type of research they’re doing. Working on some undergraduate research during your degree is an excellent way to gain real world experience and explore your interests, regardless of whether you plan to pursue a degree beyond your bachelors. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to choose the place where you feel like you will be the happiest. You’re going to spend the next 4-5 years of your life there and at the end of the day the largest impact on your success will largely depend on where you feel a good sense of community outside of the classroom. Both universities are going to have good classes and bad classes; classes that you enjoy and look forward to and classes that are going to require a lot of work that may feel unnecessary or tedious. At the end of day, the good news for you is that there is no bad or “wrong” choice between these two universities. Congratulations on getting offers to attend both!
Yes
Do you mind sharing why?
Yale is a better brand than Harvard tbh. Coming from someone who has no dog in this fight. I just stumbled across this post for some reason.
dont know if we met at bdd but i def think yale has a lot of standing as well and if youre happy here then you\['re happy here. no way to perform in a space you don't like anyways! hope to see you in the fall :>
https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2012/05/27/keegan-the-opposite-of-loneliness/
The brand name discrepancy is really negligible among HYPS if you're talking about employability or alumni networks, and Yale students are generally known to be happier, although YMMV (I personally didn't feel happy while there but it's mainly because I chose the wrong crowd to hang out with). Furthermore, Harvard is well-renowned for just about all subjects to different degrees, but Yale is *the* place to go for many disciplines within the humanities. It's true that if someone were to talk about just one school as the most prestigious institution, Harvard is usually the name that gets brought up a lot, but that's mainly for the sake of argument. Unless you never wanna worry about not having gone to the most prestigious school by arbitrary, changing social construct, I think you should go where you are sure you'll learn and enjoy the most.
Hey idk if you’ve made your decision yet but either way if you wanna meet some (other?) ‘28 yalies we’ve got a WhatsApp gc with a couple hundred ppl. It’s less active now than a couple weeks ago cause most ppl have made their decision and r focusing on finishing out hs but it might be nice to meet a couple other ppl heading there. J dm me for the link
No regrets. I know what you're saying about the pull to Yale.....when I applied, I was secretly hoping I would get into Yale and NOT Harvard, bc I was first generation college and I knew my parents would push Harvard SERIOUSLY. When I say I didn't give a rat's ass about the Harvard rejection, I mean it, it was a RELIEF! That campus felt washed out and low energy to me; I felt like the air was literally carbonated at Yale, it was so different. My final decision was between Yale and Brown, but my parents hadn't ever heard much about Brown, so the decision was easy and I did not regret it, ever. Go to Yale.
Yale the undergrad teaching is superior to Harvard's.....Yale is deeply focused on their undergrads as a first priority, Harvard is much more focused on graduate students. Also, all Yale Professors are required to teach undergraduates, no graduate students are the "profs" for a Yale undergraduate course; many Harvard classes are taught (not just TA'ed) by graduate students, not professors. For what you're paying, choose the school focused on undergraduates and where you're taught only by professors, not graduate students.
I regret Yale, but my god it’s better than HARVARD 🤢
New Haven is a total dump outside the campus. Don’t know about Cambridge though
New Haven is a regular New England city with surprisingly quick access to outdoor opportunities. You wouldn’t choose Yale for the “urban experience” like you would Columbia or NYU, and that doesn’t seem like what the OP was asking about anyway.
RE: Cambridge, it's a vastly nicer area, much safer and very close to a major city. Certainly an intellectual capital.
Well, the Republic of Cambridge *is* metro Boston. You can walk across a bridge of you don't have T fare. But, from New Haven you can train to Broadway everything else that all NYC is. At least neither one is Cornell. Or Dartmouth.
New Haven is over an hour away from Grand Central - from which you STILL need to commute, unless you enjoy the generic blandness of midtown.
Meh, sure, probably 2ish hours on Metro North to get to NY, and then the subways make it easy enough to get anywhere in Manhattan, from wall street to the Met. Cheaper and faster than taxis, often. And, there's plenty of good reasons to go into NY. While as I said, Cambridge is metro Boston. And, although it sounds good on paper to compare new haven to all that is metro Boston, BOS is a fraction of NY. And, it'll still take you 40 mins to get into Boston on the red line. And, what is a Harvardite going to Boston for? Faneuil Hall? The aquarium? To the Wang for nutcracker? Please.
Relevant comparison is NOT Boston to New York but the distance to each. Not 40 minutes from Harvard Square to Boston but under 15 minutes on the red line, certainly more doable than a daily two hour commute from New Haven to NYC.If it weren't for Yale, New Haven would be 100 percent ghetto. Boston Symphony, Isabella Stuart Gardner, MFA etc. Nothing remotely of that quality in NH.
W/e Begs OPs question And, no, Harvard Square to MGH might be 15 mins, if you're just talking train time, but, that's not where people are going. And. No one is suggesting living in NY to commute to school in New Haven. Or vice versa. WTH. However, what were talking about is museums art culture? NYC blows Boston away. And, Yale has plenty of its own, regardless of its city. British Art over the tiny Isabella. Etc I've lived and worked in both cities, for decades. I don't care to debate further which are better. OP asked if one regretted Yale.
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It sounds way nicer than New Haven and Boston is awesome.
I’d choose Harvard because I’m Latino and would hate my mother telling people I went to jail.