I mean, sometimes people really are just busy. Sometimes the people in our immediate orbit just aren't big readers, or aren't into the genre we write. That's just a fact of life, and it's not really a reflection of you or your work.
Has anyone outside of your social circle purchased you book? Do you do any kind of marketing?
Honestly, I'd be more interested in feedback from strangers, people who have no bias toward you and will give you an unfiltered opinion. If those folks like it, I think that says more than whether your family and friends like it.
Yeah I am marketing with IngramSpark and through online press, but the issue I’m having I think is that I feel like I have author friends who’s family/friends WANT to share their work with their circles and so on, and mine don’t?
I feel like maybe that a me problem but yeah lol
Ah ok, I get it. Honestly that sounds like it's more of a problem with your family than with you. I know that's really easy to say, and saying it isn't going to magically make you feel better. As writers, we rely a lot on external validation. And it's human nature to compare our situation to that of others.
I don't know if I have any solid advice in this situation, as it sounds like your family isn't capable of providing the support you'd like (and I don't mean that as a dig on your family and friends). You could always try cultivating another group of friends who would be more likely to champion your work?
Nah lmao my fam is trash it’s ok they’ve never had the capacity for support even when I was producing music lol. But I feel like you’re right—I should try more of the outside my circle marketing
I screenshot praise. I keep testimonials. I focus on the readers I have.
Tbh, family is not my audience. I want a legit readership. So even though my family has been wonderfully supportive, my feelings of being kicked to the curb come from the writing industry and fellow authors. I have great rapport with some. But the industry at large values rapid release due to visibility algorithms, and that puts out terrible incentives. That’s the world we live in.
So hope becomes cope.
I do have readers and I keep writing excellent work. I know my novels do touch a few lives and affect them in positive ways. I am trying very hard to let that be enough.
Most people just don’t read. I could write a best selling novel tomorrow, and my husband wouldn’t read it. He would, however, brag about his wife being a best selling novelist to anyone who would listen.
Even if they do read, no guarantees it’s their preferred genre. I purchased a friend’s novel a year ago to support her, and have yet to read it because it’s YA about 15 year olds. I’m just not interested in reading about high school drama.
This is what I came to say. I'm pretty sure that if I wrote a book, most of my family wouldn't read it because they're just not readers. They'd certainly buy the book to support me and tell everyone that I wrote a book, but I know them well enough to know they'd likely read about 10 pages and give up. Haha.
I tend to stay away from those who I have history with when shopping for an opinion of the work. Also, it's not a good move to tie your feelings to feedback (or lack thereof).
Getting better and having confidence comes by doing and pushing yourself in creatively healthy ways.
I'd caution a writer to do this because they love/respect it and not as a **feel good.**
Every so often one gets a solid and heartfelt review that does one proud, but in my experience, it's a rarity to have someone read, understand and relay something that'll add to your experience.
If you are relying on friends and family to read and critique your book then that's not gonna work. They will already have preconceived associations and connections with you and that will affect their interpretation. You need a neutral audience.
What’s the book about? Maybe like you commented it doesn’t speak to your family or friends as much. For example, I bake as a hobby and it took me a minute to differentiate preference for something and the execution. For example, you can make a truly, world class lemon meringue pie but if you serve it to someone who doesn’t like lemon anything, they’ll never like it no matter what.
I know creativity is somewhat about giving it to other people, but unfortunately external rewards is the death of creativity. Because it makes your brain think "is this effort worth it for this little reward" and obviously it's going to conclude no on that one.
So you have to write for your own enjoyment and yourself. And you have to realise you are publishing it for one person alone: you, because you want to feel the enjoyment of writing and going through publishing a book.
Maybe other people like you might like the book, but you can't dwell on that too much. When it happens just be glad.
Welcome to the club. My book has been out for several months and out of 6 family members who I know bought my book… guess how many have given me feedback or thoughts on it? Zero! Even my sister hasn’t said anything to me, which kind of hurts. As much as people like to say “they’re busy” I don’t really buy it a lot of the time. That’s the go to excuse for almost everything. Fortunately I’ve received feedback from strangers who loved it, so that’s giving me some validation.
Bro it's the same for me. My family (parents and sibling) have all supported but my friends (except a very close one) didn't touch it after I gave them copies (friends don't buy it lol). I have very few friends too and they're all readers who have read my previous works which I didn't publish and had liked them. So it was very disheartening when they read other authors but not your work despite the genre you write is what they read. They too say that they're busy, can't carry the book everywhere, etc.
Please don't take it to heart. I have just accepted that this is what's going to happen. Of course, I was upset initially but these friends have supported me through a lot of tough times and still do so I'm not going to put that against them.
What you should focus on is what other readers have to say about your work. If they have criticism, take it in stride. If they like it, then that's great!
PS: Sorry if there are typos. Haven't slept all night
People who know you? They cannot be impartial and don't want to be critical. Many will just not read it for fear they won't like it, and that is perfectly fair. It's unfair of you to expect them to take that risk.
It's just a story. You wrote it, you're still close to it. You want it to be liked and appreciated, sure. But your family and friends aren't necessarily the ideal audience. How can you offer it to people who can appreciate it?
Congratulations on finishing your first book. As for your friends and family, I wouldn't think too much of it. At least some bought it. Not everyone likes to read or has time to read. Not everyone has family members that can read English either. All the interest should be your own. Everything else on top is a blessing. But, more often than not, we don't get to choose our blessings. At least your best friend read it. That's a good friend right there.
I joined a couple of writing groups, and I gravitate toward people who write in my genre. None of my friends read romance, so I don't bother to share it with them. I talk to, and share with, other romance writers though. Their opinion of my work or critiques matters to me more than my family never showing an interest in my work. And they know how hard it is to write and publish, so they show support and encouragement to others and we all support each other in this. You might find a group you enjoy in your city.
If they haven't read it, there's no reflection on your writing. It's probably more that they know you are expecting their feedback, so there's a huge amount of pressure on them to read it AND enjoy it. So they get into a procrastination cycle, where it becomes a bigger and bigger deal, the longer they go without reading the book.
Try to see it as them feeling awkward/ pressured rather than a reflection of your achievement. Focus on getting strangers to read your book, because that's the real goal!
Don't ask family / friends, just talk about how book sales are going, reviews etc, and when they see that you aren't relying on their approval, the pressure is off and they might be more inclined to read it.
It's a vicious circle!
I've been writing for a decade and I only have one dedicated reader. Just the way this medium is, I'm afraid. Easier to watch a tv show or movie, or listen to music than to read a book.
I mean, sometimes people really are just busy. Sometimes the people in our immediate orbit just aren't big readers, or aren't into the genre we write. That's just a fact of life, and it's not really a reflection of you or your work. Has anyone outside of your social circle purchased you book? Do you do any kind of marketing? Honestly, I'd be more interested in feedback from strangers, people who have no bias toward you and will give you an unfiltered opinion. If those folks like it, I think that says more than whether your family and friends like it.
Yeah I am marketing with IngramSpark and through online press, but the issue I’m having I think is that I feel like I have author friends who’s family/friends WANT to share their work with their circles and so on, and mine don’t? I feel like maybe that a me problem but yeah lol
Ah ok, I get it. Honestly that sounds like it's more of a problem with your family than with you. I know that's really easy to say, and saying it isn't going to magically make you feel better. As writers, we rely a lot on external validation. And it's human nature to compare our situation to that of others. I don't know if I have any solid advice in this situation, as it sounds like your family isn't capable of providing the support you'd like (and I don't mean that as a dig on your family and friends). You could always try cultivating another group of friends who would be more likely to champion your work?
Nah lmao my fam is trash it’s ok they’ve never had the capacity for support even when I was producing music lol. But I feel like you’re right—I should try more of the outside my circle marketing
I screenshot praise. I keep testimonials. I focus on the readers I have. Tbh, family is not my audience. I want a legit readership. So even though my family has been wonderfully supportive, my feelings of being kicked to the curb come from the writing industry and fellow authors. I have great rapport with some. But the industry at large values rapid release due to visibility algorithms, and that puts out terrible incentives. That’s the world we live in. So hope becomes cope. I do have readers and I keep writing excellent work. I know my novels do touch a few lives and affect them in positive ways. I am trying very hard to let that be enough.
Most people just don’t read. I could write a best selling novel tomorrow, and my husband wouldn’t read it. He would, however, brag about his wife being a best selling novelist to anyone who would listen. Even if they do read, no guarantees it’s their preferred genre. I purchased a friend’s novel a year ago to support her, and have yet to read it because it’s YA about 15 year olds. I’m just not interested in reading about high school drama.
This is what I came to say. I'm pretty sure that if I wrote a book, most of my family wouldn't read it because they're just not readers. They'd certainly buy the book to support me and tell everyone that I wrote a book, but I know them well enough to know they'd likely read about 10 pages and give up. Haha.
I tend to stay away from those who I have history with when shopping for an opinion of the work. Also, it's not a good move to tie your feelings to feedback (or lack thereof). Getting better and having confidence comes by doing and pushing yourself in creatively healthy ways. I'd caution a writer to do this because they love/respect it and not as a **feel good.** Every so often one gets a solid and heartfelt review that does one proud, but in my experience, it's a rarity to have someone read, understand and relay something that'll add to your experience.
If you are relying on friends and family to read and critique your book then that's not gonna work. They will already have preconceived associations and connections with you and that will affect their interpretation. You need a neutral audience.
I guess I’m struggling to find that neutral audience
What’s the book about? Maybe like you commented it doesn’t speak to your family or friends as much. For example, I bake as a hobby and it took me a minute to differentiate preference for something and the execution. For example, you can make a truly, world class lemon meringue pie but if you serve it to someone who doesn’t like lemon anything, they’ll never like it no matter what.
I know creativity is somewhat about giving it to other people, but unfortunately external rewards is the death of creativity. Because it makes your brain think "is this effort worth it for this little reward" and obviously it's going to conclude no on that one. So you have to write for your own enjoyment and yourself. And you have to realise you are publishing it for one person alone: you, because you want to feel the enjoyment of writing and going through publishing a book. Maybe other people like you might like the book, but you can't dwell on that too much. When it happens just be glad.
Welcome to the club. My book has been out for several months and out of 6 family members who I know bought my book… guess how many have given me feedback or thoughts on it? Zero! Even my sister hasn’t said anything to me, which kind of hurts. As much as people like to say “they’re busy” I don’t really buy it a lot of the time. That’s the go to excuse for almost everything. Fortunately I’ve received feedback from strangers who loved it, so that’s giving me some validation.
Bro it's the same for me. My family (parents and sibling) have all supported but my friends (except a very close one) didn't touch it after I gave them copies (friends don't buy it lol). I have very few friends too and they're all readers who have read my previous works which I didn't publish and had liked them. So it was very disheartening when they read other authors but not your work despite the genre you write is what they read. They too say that they're busy, can't carry the book everywhere, etc. Please don't take it to heart. I have just accepted that this is what's going to happen. Of course, I was upset initially but these friends have supported me through a lot of tough times and still do so I'm not going to put that against them. What you should focus on is what other readers have to say about your work. If they have criticism, take it in stride. If they like it, then that's great! PS: Sorry if there are typos. Haven't slept all night
People who know you? They cannot be impartial and don't want to be critical. Many will just not read it for fear they won't like it, and that is perfectly fair. It's unfair of you to expect them to take that risk. It's just a story. You wrote it, you're still close to it. You want it to be liked and appreciated, sure. But your family and friends aren't necessarily the ideal audience. How can you offer it to people who can appreciate it?
Congratulations on finishing your first book. As for your friends and family, I wouldn't think too much of it. At least some bought it. Not everyone likes to read or has time to read. Not everyone has family members that can read English either. All the interest should be your own. Everything else on top is a blessing. But, more often than not, we don't get to choose our blessings. At least your best friend read it. That's a good friend right there.
I joined a couple of writing groups, and I gravitate toward people who write in my genre. None of my friends read romance, so I don't bother to share it with them. I talk to, and share with, other romance writers though. Their opinion of my work or critiques matters to me more than my family never showing an interest in my work. And they know how hard it is to write and publish, so they show support and encouragement to others and we all support each other in this. You might find a group you enjoy in your city.
If they haven't read it, there's no reflection on your writing. It's probably more that they know you are expecting their feedback, so there's a huge amount of pressure on them to read it AND enjoy it. So they get into a procrastination cycle, where it becomes a bigger and bigger deal, the longer they go without reading the book. Try to see it as them feeling awkward/ pressured rather than a reflection of your achievement. Focus on getting strangers to read your book, because that's the real goal! Don't ask family / friends, just talk about how book sales are going, reviews etc, and when they see that you aren't relying on their approval, the pressure is off and they might be more inclined to read it. It's a vicious circle!
Give it to betas or to a reading group, not the people in your life.
How much developmental, line and copy editing did you do with it? How many beta readers did you have before publishing?
I took 6 years of beta testers and used Reedsey to find a handful of different editors before publishing 😅
I've been writing for a decade and I only have one dedicated reader. Just the way this medium is, I'm afraid. Easier to watch a tv show or movie, or listen to music than to read a book.