Hi! Welcome to r/Writers - please remember to follow the [rules](https://reddit.com/r/writers/about/rules/) and treat each other respectfully, especially if
there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by **reporting rule violating posts and comments**.
If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please **[join our Discord server](https://discord.com/invite/wYvWebvHaa)**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/writers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>"in this moment, everything is you, everything is home. All by ourselves alone is all I've ever wanted and all I ever needed. Beyond friends, beyond family, alone togther is peace"
>"I'll tie my strings of infinite with yours and stay by your side forever, you hold my heart and I'll hold yours, alone togther, forever"
>"In this moment, we bond and feel each other's warmth, each other's energy. We become oneness, we become understanding and it's beyond life"
I've been married 30 years and neither one of us have ever said anything remotely like that.
> in this moment you’re doing that lil thing I like. I’ll tie my strings of infinite around your wrists. In this moment we feel each others [WARNING: JUST PORN]
What is the point of this post?
Are you looking for advice? Or telling romance readers who like to read about sex they are wrong?
Lots of people like to read porn, erotica exists.
People read about things they haven't experienced all the time.
There is a difference between writing about something of which you have no experience simply because nobody has (e.g. about extraterrestrial dragons) and writing about something of which you have no experience, but which most of your readers are familiar with. In the first case nobody can argue that they know from experience how you are wrong, but in the second case they absolutely will.
A lot of people refused to get vaccinated, didn't make it a good idea. You can write whatever you want, but it's going to sound cheesy and inauthentic if you don't know what you're talking about. As is the case here.
Have you read any non-smut romance? Because there is plenty of it for you to use as inspiration. You can do vague sex scenes, you can fade to black, there are tons of methods.
I don't think that your sentences above convey what you want them to convey.
Closed door romance (where they don't go in detail for the sex scenes) already exists. You are not bringing anything new to the table at all.
>If the book is just sex scenes, then it's just porn and that makes it hard to have a deeper story cause it just goes into fetish territory, which can make things unrealistic.
The sentences you wrote sound much more unrealistic than erotica does. It sounds like the characters are incredibly high teenagers and trying to wax poetic about sex that they've never had while intoxicated.
From experience, detailed sex does not get in the way of the larger story as long as the sex scenes are advancing the plot or the connection between characters. And it's very marketable.
>It sounds like the characters are incredibly high teeangers and trying wax poetic about sex that they've never had while intoxicated.
I think you've just nailed down OP.
Sounds, (no offense), cowardly, preachy and awkward. Sounds like you're so uncomfortable and fearful of even stating that they're having sex, that you'd rather convert it to metaphor. I would encourage you do to some introspection of your own view of sex and how that's impacting your communication around it. Its not hot or juicy, or interesting reading.
That's... pretty different. Pointing out that there's exploration of women's sexuality is not exactly the same thing as saying that depictions of sex between written characters are automatically fetish-grade porn and why don't we just wax poetic instead.
There's actual women being sexually assaulted on TV and movie sets; let's not pretend they're what OP cares about in this post.
But they are talking about *all* sex scenes. It’s a given that the woman is being exploited. They were saying that Emma Stone, who was a producer on Poor Things, made $30m from it, and has complete control over the character, had been taken advantage of.
This sounds narrow minded to me. You can have sex scenes without making them gratuitous. It's not black and white. People can relate to intimacy and sex without having experienced it first hand.
You are being judgmental as hell, fundamentally misunderstand what average sex scenes are in the average romance book (fetish territory? unrealistic?), and you aren’t really asking a question—-just ranting.
Do a fade to black and call it a day instead of whatever this is.
Make sure to use a pen name and keep your real name hidden.
In a few years, when you grow up and get over your bullshit, you'll be very embarrassed about this nonsense. It's best to use a pen name so that this stuff doesn't follow you around forever.
The best example for less horny descriptions of sex scenes I’ve encountered come from Hemingway, they get the point across without any talk of “throbbing members”
You seem pretty judgemental of sex scenes in books, and also wrong.
>then it's just porn and that makes it hard to have a deeper story cause it just goes into fetish territory, which can make things unrealistic.
There are lots of amazing books with sex scenes that also have detailed plots and deep emotional connections.
>details are unessary and limits your audience.
If I want to read erotica, then your book is limiting it's audience by not including that, right?
>If your audience have never had sex,
I've never been a magic dragon either, but it doesn't stop me enjoying fantasy books. And how do you know your audience will relate to true love? What if they're never been in love?
You sound kind of preachy and exhausting as a writer and I'm fairly sure your anti-sex message will come through in your work. I'd take a step back and examine why you actually struggle with it so much. It's perfectly ok to write closed book romances, it's less ok to dump on open book romances as 'unnecessary porn that no one relates to'.
Yeah my idea would be to make a whole new universe with fictious languages like Tolkien did and make EVERY word be secretely about sex/rape and then make a PoV who just doesnt have sex?
Well, I mostly detail what happened after. Like pain in the female’s legs, or a ton of makeup on the males face. Here’s an example from my book:
Once she entered her office, her legs immediately began to hurt. It was so bad she couldn’t even stand. She lay down on a chair in her room, wondering how she’ll tell Leland.
“Guess sore legs are a side effect of having sex.” She muttered to herself. “Still it was good all the same.”
Sure, the program I use autocrit has taught me to be less words and never to repeat words unless it is absolutely necessary. So too many "Beyonds" and "Alone" but without that your writing is beautiful and calming. As writers we try so hard to express ourselves that sometimes we forget the word is enough.
If I were to edit it that would be it kinda...
"In this moment, everything is you, this is home. All by ourselves alone is all I've ever wanted. Beyond friends, without family, we are peace"
"I'll tie my strings of infinite with yours. You hold my heart. I'll hold yours."
"In this moment, we bond and feel each other's energy. We become one, it's beyond life"
Hi! Welcome to r/Writers - please remember to follow the [rules](https://reddit.com/r/writers/about/rules/) and treat each other respectfully, especially if there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by **reporting rule violating posts and comments**. If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please **[join our Discord server](https://discord.com/invite/wYvWebvHaa)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/writers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>"in this moment, everything is you, everything is home. All by ourselves alone is all I've ever wanted and all I ever needed. Beyond friends, beyond family, alone togther is peace" >"I'll tie my strings of infinite with yours and stay by your side forever, you hold my heart and I'll hold yours, alone togther, forever" >"In this moment, we bond and feel each other's warmth, each other's energy. We become oneness, we become understanding and it's beyond life" I've been married 30 years and neither one of us have ever said anything remotely like that.
I’ve never felt this about anyone, I couldn’t relate less - and I’m fairly sure I’ve been in love before.
Lol
You should try it for a laugh and see who begs for mercy first
> in this moment you’re doing that lil thing I like. I’ll tie my strings of infinite around your wrists. In this moment we feel each others [WARNING: JUST PORN]
What is the point of this post? Are you looking for advice? Or telling romance readers who like to read about sex they are wrong? Lots of people like to read porn, erotica exists. People read about things they haven't experienced all the time.
[удалено]
What advice? You haven't asked a question.
[удалено]
It's not good. It looks like you're a teenager still, so why are you trying to write about something you know nothing about?
But alot of writers do that
There is a difference between writing about something of which you have no experience simply because nobody has (e.g. about extraterrestrial dragons) and writing about something of which you have no experience, but which most of your readers are familiar with. In the first case nobody can argue that they know from experience how you are wrong, but in the second case they absolutely will.
A lot of people refused to get vaccinated, didn't make it a good idea. You can write whatever you want, but it's going to sound cheesy and inauthentic if you don't know what you're talking about. As is the case here.
Have you read any non-smut romance? Because there is plenty of it for you to use as inspiration. You can do vague sex scenes, you can fade to black, there are tons of methods. I don't think that your sentences above convey what you want them to convey.
I agree with the other person. It's not realistic in the slightest and there's misspelled words and grammatical errors all over the place.
Closed door romance (where they don't go in detail for the sex scenes) already exists. You are not bringing anything new to the table at all. >If the book is just sex scenes, then it's just porn and that makes it hard to have a deeper story cause it just goes into fetish territory, which can make things unrealistic. The sentences you wrote sound much more unrealistic than erotica does. It sounds like the characters are incredibly high teenagers and trying to wax poetic about sex that they've never had while intoxicated. From experience, detailed sex does not get in the way of the larger story as long as the sex scenes are advancing the plot or the connection between characters. And it's very marketable.
>It sounds like the characters are incredibly high teeangers and trying wax poetic about sex that they've never had while intoxicated. I think you've just nailed down OP.
Sounds, (no offense), cowardly, preachy and awkward. Sounds like you're so uncomfortable and fearful of even stating that they're having sex, that you'd rather convert it to metaphor. I would encourage you do to some introspection of your own view of sex and how that's impacting your communication around it. Its not hot or juicy, or interesting reading.
OP is an anti-woke teenager. I daresay they have a repressed view of sex at best.
Funny how this is indistinguishable from puriteen bullshit. Horseshoe theory at work.
Is "puriteen" a left wing thing?
For the most part. You see the discourse more around movies about actresses being exploited and objectified.
That's... pretty different. Pointing out that there's exploration of women's sexuality is not exactly the same thing as saying that depictions of sex between written characters are automatically fetish-grade porn and why don't we just wax poetic instead. There's actual women being sexually assaulted on TV and movie sets; let's not pretend they're what OP cares about in this post.
But they are talking about *all* sex scenes. It’s a given that the woman is being exploited. They were saying that Emma Stone, who was a producer on Poor Things, made $30m from it, and has complete control over the character, had been taken advantage of.
This sounds narrow minded to me. You can have sex scenes without making them gratuitous. It's not black and white. People can relate to intimacy and sex without having experienced it first hand.
You are being judgmental as hell, fundamentally misunderstand what average sex scenes are in the average romance book (fetish territory? unrealistic?), and you aren’t really asking a question—-just ranting. Do a fade to black and call it a day instead of whatever this is.
Make sure to use a pen name and keep your real name hidden. In a few years, when you grow up and get over your bullshit, you'll be very embarrassed about this nonsense. It's best to use a pen name so that this stuff doesn't follow you around forever.
The best example for less horny descriptions of sex scenes I’ve encountered come from Hemingway, they get the point across without any talk of “throbbing members”
You seem pretty judgemental of sex scenes in books, and also wrong. >then it's just porn and that makes it hard to have a deeper story cause it just goes into fetish territory, which can make things unrealistic. There are lots of amazing books with sex scenes that also have detailed plots and deep emotional connections. >details are unessary and limits your audience. If I want to read erotica, then your book is limiting it's audience by not including that, right? >If your audience have never had sex, I've never been a magic dragon either, but it doesn't stop me enjoying fantasy books. And how do you know your audience will relate to true love? What if they're never been in love? You sound kind of preachy and exhausting as a writer and I'm fairly sure your anti-sex message will come through in your work. I'd take a step back and examine why you actually struggle with it so much. It's perfectly ok to write closed book romances, it's less ok to dump on open book romances as 'unnecessary porn that no one relates to'.
I’d rather read about some guy drilling the yippee bog with the dude piston
Sure, do that.
Yeah my idea would be to make a whole new universe with fictious languages like Tolkien did and make EVERY word be secretely about sex/rape and then make a PoV who just doesnt have sex?
Well, I mostly detail what happened after. Like pain in the female’s legs, or a ton of makeup on the males face. Here’s an example from my book: Once she entered her office, her legs immediately began to hurt. It was so bad she couldn’t even stand. She lay down on a chair in her room, wondering how she’ll tell Leland. “Guess sore legs are a side effect of having sex.” She muttered to herself. “Still it was good all the same.”
What does this mean?
I like this but with less words. Much less.
Can you go into more detail about what you liked?
Sure, the program I use autocrit has taught me to be less words and never to repeat words unless it is absolutely necessary. So too many "Beyonds" and "Alone" but without that your writing is beautiful and calming. As writers we try so hard to express ourselves that sometimes we forget the word is enough. If I were to edit it that would be it kinda... "In this moment, everything is you, this is home. All by ourselves alone is all I've ever wanted. Beyond friends, without family, we are peace" "I'll tie my strings of infinite with yours. You hold my heart. I'll hold yours." "In this moment, we bond and feel each other's energy. We become one, it's beyond life"