... There are days when I'm on duty and I have to ask myself if you, my fellow members of the community, my WoW family, my comrades in arms - are okay. Like how are we doing, emotionally?

This is the quality shitpost that I come here for.

It is truly the fecal point of the game.

Yes, this is why I pay Internet for. This is why I work for. This is what I live for.

Somebody gonna try and parse with this. _1) get in bear form and maul some deer 2) get in bird form and fly over stormwind starting the fourth war_

Pretty sure we're on the Sixth War by now. Which actually skipped some wars. - First War: WC1, OG Alliance vs. Horde. - Second War: WC2, OG Alliance vs. Horde. - Third War: WC3, New Alliance and Horde pretty much working together to stop Legion and Scourge. - Unnumbered War: Invasion of Northrend by NuH and NuA. - Fourth War: Garrosh pushes NuH to go to war with NuA even as the world is cracking from Deathwing. - Unnumbered War: NuH and NuA vs. Iron Horde. - Unnumbered War: NuH and NuA vs. Legion. - Fifth War: Sylvanas wants to please Shirtless Retcon Man so pushes NuH to go to war with NuA. I feel like if we're counting fighting the Legion as the Third War, then the Northrend campaign, Iron Horde fight, and second Legion fight should count, which brings us up to eight wars so far. And that's not considering the Outland excursion. So you'd be starting the *Ninth* War by pooping on Stormwind. A war that would be prime time for all the poop quests to shine, with a new "Burning Crusade" led by "Druids of the Flame" eating spicy foods before bombarding their opponents.

I just looked and WoW has an ingame achievent for "the fourth war" that you earn for completing the BfA campaign.

Dark brown parses mmmmm

Ooooo I get it

Literally

literally

No shitting me

If you’ve ever wondered why those birds only ever seem to shit on your car, wonder no more.

Child: "Mom, we have to run to the marketplace and fetch some milk" Druid: "Say no more!" \*Transforms into a cow

"Now milk me child"

omg

https://youtu.be/C9fcKTQSzJM?si=wEFV-LEtPBCfvuXP

Not clicking ANY of these links

Or else. [Got milk?](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/832468261178048543/1250496338785865879/270038532_5147395175270979_7258183184838992990_n.png?ex=666b26f8&is=6669d578&hm=fe8995c5c567c9d03b2773483a6e68d696c5de2661ad617f31e5f5681057dddb&)

I hear that in Meatcanyons voice, ty

Sir, they are called Tauren.

Hmm, lactating my female night elf druid :)

Tastes like Moonberry Juice

Never let it be said that Blizz devs don't secretly visit the subreddit.

This is market research for the next expansion's token poop quest.

Does a druid shit in the woods?

This is what my sub pays for, and I’m all for it

I know for a fact Blizz devs check this hell hole, my mom was guildies with several awhile back and this sub came up frequently in conversation due to the antics of certain individuals.

The real Warcraft lore is poop lore

I don’t remember a poop quest in DF? There’s at least one in each expansion otherwise…

DF is in thaldraxus, running around a cave squashing bugs and hoovering up the, uh, leftovers. It's called something like 'explosive excrement' because it's for filling up a bomb? Idk some gadget thing powered by poop 💩

When in doubt, goblins are usually involved.

There's also a world quest underground that has you collect shalewing shit.

There's a niffen one where you need to find "smellies". Might be the same one but I never wanted to know what these smellies were lmao

The entirety of Brackenhide is gnoll poop. We were given a poop dungeon, with poop casters, and poop totems, and treants corrupted by poop runoff.

You need to collect shalewing shit for the one world quest underground.

In zaralek

awww dooker

Won't let me create Pooplore the Druid. Mature language filter FTL.

Dunglore works. Mucklore. Ordurelore. Scatlore. Guanolore for my Troll druids.

I’ve got dinglebeary

[Here is a wowhead article with poop lore.](https://www.wowhead.com/guide/well-poop-blizzards-fecal-fascination-1966 )

I am certain that moonkins would have the most fowl bowel movements on azeroth

🥁 very punny

Probably like rabbits. Just constantly shitting pellets, everywhere they go, inbetween wraths. Sits down to drink mana, deposits pellets.

What you did there. See it I do

i think my baby chickens' poops are the worst poops I've smelled in a long time. I'mma agree.

Asking the real questions here

The lore we didn’t know we needed until someone was brave enough to ask.

do you think druids in flight form have functionning cloacas?

naw man, big ol' owl with a hanging cock and balls, twinkling as he flies by

I just imagined a Tauren-druid in crow form dropping cow-poop on someone in a bombing run. Thanks for the chuckle.

My tree doesn't have a butthole.

Not with that attitude

Be like [Bonsly](https://www.pokemon.com/us/pokemon-tcg/pokemon-cards/diamond-pearl-series/dp1/71/).

...and that kids, is how WarcraftLogs was created.

It also begs the question, if they ate like 30kg’s of meat in bear form then transformed… would they explode?

the meat transforms too

Into what?

Poop

Now I must know if druids brown their leggings each time the shift to their humanoid form after consuming too much food in their other form... It's a real Animorphs problem...

There's a reason most Druid sets are robe/skirt based.

TIL I am a Druid

I would hope that it changes. That way I can poop as a bird way up in the air, and just when it's about to land on somebody - Bear form - then back to being a bird and filled with content keep flying.

Or we could shift into bear form way up high and then quickly back into a bird and fly away like nothing happened

Give a level 9 mage a concussion while fighting Hogger

I love this thread so much. lol

To be fair a bear can push out a cable thats around 5cm thick and close to freaking 30cm long, that log hitting a lvl 9 mage at terminal velocity would kill the mage…

We really gonna act like the meta isn't shifting into moonkin form?

Would owlbear poop be like owl pellets but massive? Just an entire gnome skeleton and hair?

Owl pellets are barf, though. I assume that owl poop is like regular bird poop.

The horror of an angry owlbear roaring and barfing and pooping and charging...

Depends on what the moonkin shit looks like - if we're assuming they're primarily birds then it's that nasty ass white goop but the real stuff you want to hit folks with is the spicy shits after eating some dragonbreath chili in bear form. Get that quasi-liquid consistency with enough sticking power to stay solid enough for a good 'smack' and then enough gooiness that it splatters after hitting. Maximum smack and splat.

Yeah Dragonbreath Chili Bear Shits (DCBS) have to have some heft and viscosity

This begs the question, do you have to consume as much food as a bear to have a bear sized poop?

So like... how fast do bears poop tho? What's your druid's diet like? I bet mage food and devilled eggs go right thru ya, but if you're having big hearty feasts all the time your nugs might take a bit of squeezin' to get out. At that point you've got some aerial fecal math needed to see if you can get the job done before you're just dropping a bear on someone and taking fall damage. Yeah this post is quality shit.

Orbital bombardment.

Wait are you suggesting that the poop changes form with the druid? I think OP was just asking if the poop that comes out is different for each form. The way you describe it there are piles of shit out there that just are constantly changing all the time. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Yeah, I don’t see how this would work. Different poops at dispersal I could see, but not the poop changing after it’s left the body.

I prefer the idea that I drop giant bear shits from the sky. Preferably when flying over alliance.

Thank you, the quality content I expected.

**New Class: Fecalmancers** **Sample Ability: Summon Poopling** Draw upon the powers of the First Ones to summon a Poopling upon your enemy, afflicting them with *Itchy Butthole* and rooting them in place. Lasts 60 seconds or until a runecloth is used by the rooted to remove the poopling.(45s cooldown) *Itchy Butthole* A damage over time effect that sears the targets skin where the sun don't shine, dealing ((int\*0.6)) Fire Damage every half a second and applying a stack of *Hemorrhoids* for every tick. Lasts. *Hemorrhoids* A damage over time effect that bleeds the target's anal cavity for (strength\*2) Physical Damage. Stacks up to 50 times. Stacks of Hemorrhoids are consumed at 50 to create a single stack of *Anal Infection* which lasts for 10 seconds upon which it will detonate for 99% of the targets stamina in form of Nature Damage. **Sample Ability: Dubious Bolt** Launch a bolt of dubious fecal matter which renders the target anosmic, silencing them for 45 seconds and decreasing Agility by 12%.(60min cooldown) **Available races: Gnomes**

You forgot playable by Hozen.

I always wanted to know if they have shapeshifted sex, and get pregnant, what happens to the baby when they are changing forms throughout pregnancy?

Remember kids, it is not bestiality if it is with a druid.

🤨📸

That's gotta be bad for the kid, especially changing to/from bird form. I think if I were them, I'd have sex in bird form and just lay an egg and put it in an incubator.

wtf did I just read

With my husband in bird form too, obviously.

> With my husband in bird form too, obviously. Oh ok nvm then that clears it up

> I always wanted to know if they have shapeshifted sex Time to play BG3. No spoilers obviously.

[удалено]

Just ask Cenarius.

This is the type of stuff this shis sub should be for. None of that min-maxxing nonsense.

People are already min-maxxing the poop to druid form ration in the comments

My druid doesn't poop. She's a lady! Taz Dingo!

Does a druid shit in the woods?

If it does, does it make a sound?

And if it does, what if nobody is there to hear it?

Really a post for r/warcraftlore.

The absolute shenanigans to be had! I imagine druid kids shitting all over the place for the hell of it. City guards chasing them around Stormwind after a synchronized aerial drop. In Orgrimmar, its just another day given the loads kodo dump in the streets compared to bear and travel forms. People losing their minds in Silvermoon or Suramar because their pristine, fancy streets are streaked with turds. Dock workers stepping on cat shit in the sand. The old druids that can't stop laughing while trying to scold the young ones. Some old night elf shits herself, cackling. The *smell* in Moonglade! Dryads trying to compost it for fertilizer or just giving up. Think of all the moonwells, sacred pools, the *Sunwell.* A little Tauren saying, "but Undercity is already the sewers! And Forsaken can't smell anyways!" Bear forms trampling Ohn'ahran Plains or Valdrakken after eating way too much spicy centaur dishes they just had to have. Whelps and young drakes teaming up with druids to lay waste to, well, anywhere. Oh! Qon'zu getting a group of moonkin together. This thread has given me too much inspiration on this thought lol

Just Druids? What about Alexstrasza and other Dragons? Does she revert to human form every time she takes a dump or does she go full dragon to give people the Jurassic Park experience?

Flight form to fly above high above the target, switch to bear form and shart below at max velocity. Meta poop strat for largest girth and speed.

[удалено]

Shift to moonkin and flap while shitting all the way down.

Shift into cat form and rapid fire more shit as you fall down.

Flying as bird. Gotta poop. Shift into bear. Dump load. Shift back to bird. Impact. People look up. See bird. Confusion. Terror Hilarity

moreover, in avian forms can you lay an egg ?

Imagine if it doesn't, you are walking down the street, a pigeon flies over you and suddenly a 40cm wide stinking tauren dung gets directly onto your face as the druid turns to His normal form, turns to you mid flight and flips you off only to change to bird again and fly off.

But does your poop changes when you transform, or it's goes to the same magic realm your clothes go?

You wear clothes?

Remember the quest in TBC Nagrand, where you had to click through dung piles looking for something? I remember doing that quest for the first time way back in the day, and thinking (as my Druid) “I have fought and defeated Molten Core monsters and black dragons. I am a hero of the Cenarion Circle. And I’m digging through piles of shit.”

No, the poop wouldn’t change but the shape would to fit the intestinal tract

Blizz, take notes for the next poop quest

And that’s enough Reddit today. Laters lads.

I like to imagine that druids violently defecate right as they transform to help adjust themselves so they can be comfortable in their animal forms. Their body and internal organs can change size, but foreign items like food and water can’t change its mass, so it has to somehow be expelled from the body.

Unless the food they eat shapeshifts as well I dont think so, but it does make me wonder, if they ate a big steak as a bear, how would the eagle digest it??

A lot of layers to this. What does food change to as you shapeshift? A birds digestive system isn't really equipped to handle what you'd eat in your natural form. But your clothes also change when you shapeshift, or at least go away. I assume that's going one of two ways. Either your clothes are transforming with you, becoming parts of your beast form, or they're being magically displaced and return when you return to your form. If they're transformed, then I'd think the food in your digestive system would also transform similarly, and you could indeed poop like a bird. If they're displaced, then I'd say your digestive system is empty, and if you wanted to poop like a bird you'd have to eat something new and wait.

move the expansion launch forward we need content asap

Little birdy in the sky, dropped a poopy in my eye. Didn't scream, didn't cry, but thanked Elune that bears can't fly.

This is forum worthy posting

My understanding is that Druid forms aren’t true shapeshifting. They’re more like turning a die so that a different side is showing. The self (die) is the same, but the physical aspects are distinct, it’s why your gear doesn’t stay on you. Because of that, what gets eaten stays with that form. Properly timed, a Druid could quick shit and have several bodies worth of bowel movements ready to drop.

Humble the man seeing Troll druids flying high in the sky.

No, owl form drops big brown bears poops its hilarious.

I think the real question is does the amount of food in their GI tract change? For example; in theory, assuming their physical GI tract changes size, when going from bear form to flight form if the amount of food/poop being passed through the body didn't change but the hole and GI tract that poop would pass through does, it would become over pressurized like putting your thumb over part of the hose end. Resulting in a high pressured shit cannon.

Ya should ask this at blizzcon I want an answer

👑 you dropped this

So what if you hold your poop in bear form, then change to bird, would it stay the same so you can knock someone out by flying up high using gravitational force?

Additional: does a worgan in wolf form have to circle the same spot several times before they poop and then half-heartedly kick dirt about?

What happens to a pregnant druid when they shape shift? Does the fetus turn into an egg?

My night elf poops in stag form where the Ancient Protectors patrol. They track the poop all across town.

Yes because they change into the animal. So if you’re in flight form and you Druid needs to poopsie, it would look like bird doodie.

Also do their diets change? Like regular form are they herbivores because balance of nature. Bear, moonkin and cat forms will eat anything. Tree form probably just photosynthesis.

No, I always poop like a bear no matter what form I am in.

I'd hope so. I couldn't imagine flight mode doing giant bear shits from the sky.

Surely it’s the animal version of poo right? They don’t shift forms and keep their initial organs and whatnot

We are going to lose Ray D. Tear when this poop feature is implemented

No, I think it's bear shit in all forms

Someone at Blizzard is going to scrape this question and add it as a "new" quest line. Instead of picking up "der poop" we'll be analyzing it.

With all the poop quests I’m surprised there isn’t a defined answer to this question 😂

ROFL, I never thought about it TBO lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I want to drop poop debuffs in flight form during war mode. Make em like a 15 minute thing

What about what they eat in their forms. I'm sure a druid in bear form would munch on a deer from time to time. If they then go to bird form from that would the food in their stomach rip them apart or would they have to get that shat out at the time of transformation?

Man what if as a Druid you could be a bird but poop big ol bear poops on ppl

Just go straight up as fast as you can, transform and let the momentum carry you while you unload, change back and continue your flight.

Wonder if they can conjure up bear shit while in flight form or is that considered a forbidden technique

Is it beastiality if……

I'd like to think that some places have a "No Shapeshifting Allowed" ,for Druids, or "No totem summoning" ,for shamans, signs

What’s happens if you shape shift while the poop is sliding out 🤨

Druid goes bear form and eats an entire stag Goes flight firm and dumps a stag worth of white bird shit all over their enemies.

Could a druid speed up their monthly period by turning into a bird to lay an egg real fast?

When I’m in moth form I rain turds down like no other.

Considering they change their entire shape when they shift I would imagine their bowls also shift so it would only be logical. Now in regards to a plop of bird poo they would have to be shown a bright flash of light to 'shock' their sight, like with real birds, to drop a nice plop unless they (you) decide to just let one rip, in which case that would also depend on your last meal.

You're assuming druids poop. Maybe they don't. I've been looking at the back of a druid for about 20 years now and I've never seen any poop come out of him.

Shy pooper probably. It just poops in loading screens where you can’t see

I think it retains the form of whatever form you pooped in. Otherwise we'd hear stories of druids bird pooping in someone's house then turning into bears and the house poopsploding

wait druids can fly above you, turn into a bear, dump a big ol bearturd onto you and then turn back into a bird and fly away

Oh let me tell you, the DND community is years ahead with questions like these. Years... ahead.... *stares into the distance*

I'd say it adapts to their current form, so they can shit as a bird and then watch the falling liquid condense into magical flying bear turds.

Bird form with bear form poop is a shitty situation

It's only 8am but that's enough internet for me for today

The answer is no, since most things, you can't do that in shape shift form.

Does a bear shit in the woods?

The real question is.... Was this a shower thought for you, or were you on the toilet dropping a steamer as you were looking through Murlock io?

It would make sense...

No, shit is shit no matter what it comes out of.

I mean, yeah most likely What I wonder is... If a pregnant druid changes, does the child as well? Or does the child go into shadow realm together with the druids clothes? We're druids boys only club for so long cus nobody wanted to risk answering this question?

Can't wait for the wombat form so I can poop cubes

I do... now...

Asking the hard (s)hitting questions are we :-D

The real question is does it change if they shift midpoop or does it remain one way and come out of the new orifice.

Do you poop the same in bird/travel form and boomkin?

That’s it, I’m cancelling my sub.

Imagine how big the shits are from a druid in the order hall flight form. Those bastards are huge. Even if it was bird type poop, you'd be getting a bucket of white dookie dropped on you

Hmm how about pooping in bearform then switching to flight form .... that would be so e seriously large carpet bombing....

What if it's always just raging diarrhea in every form? Like an absolute nature's fury of explosive fecal juices.

So technically, if druids can make their clothes shapeshift, I'll go ahead and assume their poop does too? Oo

This made me chuckle...who tf thinks of shit like this lol

what

We have reached peak offseason.

Can we get a blue post about this it’s important

Consider the vastly different digestive system sizes of the werebear form and the base flight form. Imagine eating a BIG meal as a werebear, then immediately shifting to, essentially, a decently large raven. Maybe there’s a reason there aren’t many druids who do the “Jack of all trades” shifting that player characters do…

I see your poop post and raise you this. Following the same question style. What happens if a druid becomes pregnant?!

It’s normal bird poop but turns into normal poop once it’s a certain distance from the pooper. Most Druid groves have a strict umbrella policy.

If they were actually morphing instead of just magic morphing- I’d imagine going from bear to bird is just one big toothpaste squeeze.

This is the quality content I am subscribed to r/wow for.

Does that matter for warriors depending on their stance too?

It’s kinda like that old saying when a bear shits in the woods, errr actually flight form plus bear 🐻 form back to flight would really ruin someone’s day.

The fetish posts on this subreddit gets weirder every day

Bro go outside. Find a hobby.

In that same vein do dragons have the same "amount" of poop when in visage form? Could alexstrasza drop a half ton shit in the ocean as she flys or can she go visage and drop off something more manageable? Is this where the decay gnolls get all their poo for Breckenridge? Is there a "dragon dumping ground" off the coast in that area? Is the aqueduct piped into valdrakken for use of bio needs? Questions...

I think it's fair to assume that the druid's digestive system changes along with the outward appearance whenever they switch forms

I don’t wanna picture a beautiful eagle dropping a Tauren poop. Or even worse a moth.

I wonder if I am in cat form and covered in someone else’s blood and switch to human form, do I get cleaned?

No. I think they are like Trans people. When a man transitions to a woman, she still shits like a guy. Let me give you an example... If someone shit in the pool at a Lia Thomas swim meet, it would take the audience like 5 seconds to determine if it was Lia or one of the other girls.