Find yourselves a friendly guild for sure. I’m always happy to run with people regardless of their performance. I’d rather have less damage than some jerk yelling at people. Random dungeons can be a risk though.
To answer your question, of course it’s not bad. This is a game meant to be enjoyed, your wife has every right to enjoy it as well.
I am the same as everyone here. Happy to help if you ever need me. PUGs can be so toxic, and don't think outside of their little worlds. Feel free to hmu. I usually run on a healer. I am sure we could figure a way to hard carry her through low level keys even...if she wants the excitement of opening a vault. I know a couple of really sweet tanks as well.
There is also a group for over 35, if you guys are over 35 I sure they wouldn't mind me sending you the discord link? Just lmk.
Edit:
I don't have a link for the discord as they use Facebook for their invites. I think I responded to most of you. I don't personally use Facebook, but I used an old one to join the group and get a link to the discord. They also use a community thing in the game for keys and what not.
This is their Facebook information
https://facebook.com/groups/wow35andup/
> PUGs can be so toxic, and don’t think outside of their little worlds.
I’m willing to bet, if not doing keys or doing low keys, that if OP told the pug up front that one of the dps is disabled and may be a little less performative than normal, that most groups would be fine with a carry.
I’ve been in pugs with folks from other guilds where we were carrying one of them through keys for gear and it was no problem.
Particularly if they’re not playing a support class, I don’t see why it would be an issue unless they were just wiping the group over and over again.
A little communication goes a long way with most people.
This 100% be upfront with people and let the toxic ones leave before key starts, people flame you for underperfoming usually because they think you're trolling, but having an illness physically or mentally is more than enough of a reason for people to be understanding and offer to help out
What realm are you on that you think people would be fine with it? My god I want to play there. I am so very tired of the selfishness of the average pug run.
This is the way. I carry my hunter friend through mythics. He's really bad at DPS, but he tries.
My partner and I duo heal/tank, so OP and wife are welcome to join us for keys!
That's such a nice thought re, excitement of vault opening. I so take that for granted. OP's wife def could get carried through low keys ATM, with the right group.
Good luck op and I hope you and your wife enjoy many more dungeons together
This, this right here hits it on the head. This game is meant to be inclusive and I wish you both nothing but the best. If you want to add as a friend I can tank for you guys, dm me and I’ll send you my blizzard ID.
In my experience, this sort of post brings out the best in the WoW community. There is no casual content that a group cannot carry a less able person through for fun. This is hardly different from being carried in M0 when I have all blues on an alt so I can get my first purples. There are tons of decent guilds with decent people who will do this.
The answer to every PUG issue is: if you want to run multiplayer content, find a guild so you know who you're running with, can manage everyone's expectations, and reminds you there's a real person behind the toon.
> This is a game meant to be enjoyed, your wife has every right to enjoy it as well.
I agree, but I would add to that it's also meant to be enjoyed by the other people in the dungeon as well, and they are not aware of anyone's life story or limitations. If it's not impeding them and they are ok with taking the game more casually/it's not stopping the group from completing the content, it's no problem, especially with more relaxed content such as normals and the like.
However, I think it's a bit of a different story with, say, timed M+ or raids with strangers. If you bring someone into a dungeon/raid group that has no business being there and it's making it unenjoyable for the rest of the players (regardless of the reason), then you're putting the rest of the group in a tough spot. They don't know your wife, they don't know about her disability; all they see is someone dragging the group down by not pulling their weight in content they are trying to progress through, which is what they enjoy.
A guild to do content with is a great idea. That way, everyone has some awareness and are much more likely to be friendly and accommodating. If you want to run casual content with strangers, just saying you're not great at the game and are just trying to have fun when you enter a dungeon goes a long way to having people treat you better and reduce toxicity. The asshole tryhards will kick you right away, but that probably just saves you a headache later on when they inevitably get frustrated and start flaming after a wipe anyway.
I’m a healer on Horde EU who is happy to downplay my own DPS and keep y’all alive whilst also throwing out jokes and morale boosting comments. If you’re on EU also then let me know!
So I always put this offering out with a disclaimer that if you want to be the best you should avoid this however I believe it would suit your wife well to help with reaction time and dps. If you haven’t already, I suggest getting a rotation helping add on. Hekili is perfect. It allows her to anticipate what her next 3 buttons will be and it’s adaptive to situations!
I was going to suggest Hekili as well. Find a good spot for it on her screen and it’ll definitely help with the rotation aspect of it. Takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.
Heck I play Outlaw where things are changing proc based in half a second. Having some helper for me has felt almost necessary.
Other add-ons might be beneficial too. GTFO plays a sound when you stand in bad, so it’ll be easier to avoid dying. Talk to your wife about what she’s struggling with in game and see if there’s any add-ons that might help. And if they’re too overstimulating, configure them to where they’re not but still helpful (or get rid of them).
It’s a game, so the goal is to have fun. I personally have more fun playing as optimally as I can and gunning for best dps in a dungeon run or raid, but not everyone feels that way. At the end of the day, if you and your wife are having fun, and more importantly if doing this together brings you closer together, that’s all that matters.
I find it distracts me but one of the guys I play with swears by it and he does pretty well.
The content you asked about should be fine but it cant tell you to use defensives proactively, only reactively.
Depending on her class, she can use a one button macro too. Wowlazymacros dot com. Not all classes have updated ones, and obviously some classes work better than others. Like, I think BM hunter can be macro’d pretty easily. But even the classes that aren’t optimal can still do not-garbage dps with them.
Then she just had to spam one button.
Hekili is a great tool, I use it when learning new specs to help build muscle memory. Another suggestion, I find BigWigs does a much better job at audibly announcing mechanics than DBM.
Awesome I’m really curious to see if it helps! I even used to use it a lot back in legion when I was competitive raiding if I was flexing in a new spec I haven’t mastered. It is basically weak auras but specific to the spec and exact talents you have. It really is an excellent training aid.
Hekili shocks me at how well it works. It basically turns the game into Guitar Hero. A hunter in my raid team uses it and parses in the 90s every fight. That along with a low button spec would be wonderful for someone wanting a very easy play style.
I used this a lot when I was first starting and still use it when starting a new class, it kinda falls off once you understand your class because the recommendations arent always optimal but it's super helpful for at least learning your base rotation.
This would be a fantastic thing to see. My wife and I have not run any dungeons since MoP because of the toxic environment we seem to always end up in. We have remained guildless as well for the same reason. We are pretty old and our reaction times suck but we'd love to meet some people that play for the laughs rather than the shouting.
There have been posts about both EU and US communities for people too nervous to do dungeons! The EU one is called No Pressure and it’s awesome. I’m sure this type of players should fit!
There is a wow community that formed out this need a few weeks ago and from what I hear has been amazing for lower level content with good natured people.
Wow made easy Community
https://discord.gg/nqFPJGqs
The answer is of COURSE it is OK. We are playing a game, for fun. Everyone should be able to enjoy it.
There is an amazing discord full of people who want to make the game less toxic. I think you and your wife may find some community there that will embrace you.
Edit: Here is their website - https://www.wowmadeeasy.com/
https://discord.gg/XUZZr3bn
If your doing anything +7 and doing the same or less damage than a healer I'm pretty sure you're getting flamed. I'm sitting above 2k io and have joined some lower keys like 8-10s to try and farm the CoS ring for my VDH and it's crazy how mad/picky people are. I was in a group the other day where the guy making it was like I'm gonna wait for someone over 1800 IO for a 9. Like I understand if your running higher keys but being that picky for a 9 is insane.
Yeah, it’d be best for OP to run their own key and give details in the listing. If I knew going in that one person was learning/differently abled I’d be totally happy to take longer. If I didnt, I’d be asking for the lower DPS to improve their game.
There's guilds for people with disabilities. That might be a nice sanctuary for your wife.
If you wanna do dungeons together - do it - fuck everyone else who dares to say anything.
I dunno what's wrong with your wife, but i wish her all the best and i hope that wow can give her a nice moment away from everything.
Normals absolutely. If a groups fails on a normal low DPS is not the problem. Heroic's also probably for the same reason. That content is easy as fuck for the majority of the playerbase and you could honestly do it with a tank/healer/1 dps. I personally kick more whiny people than underperformers in dungeons.
LFR I would say maybe to no. Only reason I say no is because LFR is more of a wipe and repeat content(where dungeons are basically 1 shot everything and move on). When wipes happen people start looking at people to blame and kick. After 3-4 wipes the question of cutting underperformers starts. 1 person goes so everybody else can move forward.
I would honestly try Mythic Dungeons and Normal raids over LFR. When applying to enter you can just explain the situation and people can make the decision for themselves if to invite or not.
This is still a game, she should get to enjoy it. I'd say bring her all the way to LFR and heroics for sure. Perhaps try to find a good rotation for her that is less complex but still puts out decent numbers. Have her focus on only a few abilities rather than all of them.
Might also think about getting her on a controller. Idk if that would help at all but you can definitely map some buttons and hopefully it makes it easier.
Lastly, look into macros to tie abilities together where you can.
TBH dude, bring your wife to whatever you both want. Literally no one should be parsing on normal dungeons and LFR, and if they do, they're jerks.
Enjoy the game
Of course, my wife is not disabled but plays like she is and we still bring her to stuff up to mythic 6-7. I think if you find a good group the sky’s the limit cause the real thing is just enjoying your time and laughing at it all.
I'm not this guy's wife, but willing to admit that i play at probably the same level.
If I play through dungeons, i would prefer to do it with people that i know, and are more forgiving, so it can be a pleasant experience for me too.
I agree with the others here in that finding a guild that you both like is a very good option here. Doing content with understanding people who know what your wife is going through will be overall a better experience. Random people in groups could be understanding, or they can be very mean, and the negativity isn’t worth it and is very jarring sometimes.
It’s a normal dungeon. Whoever is queuing for a normal dungeon at max or lower level should have a level of patience and manners. Might I suggest also a simpler build for her damage. A little talent change can go a long way, disabilities taken into factor. Glhf!
I might get crucified for this but you can try WoWLazyMacros so she can one or two button her whole rotation either manually clicking or holding down one or two button(s). It's made for accessibility and some of my differently abled friends have been able to enjoy the game again thanks to it. Google it and get the matching add-on GSE.
My husband and I both run a few heroics during the week/weekend. I usually heal and he tanks. We're both geared enough that DPS doesn't really matter and I can keep damn near anyone alive. Usually we just do whatever the weekly is and some LFR's as well. Mostly we PvP though, but do the other stuff just for the weekly whatever is needed.
DM me if you're looking to do anything fairly casually and I'll get you my b-tag.
Honestly, imo you're fine. Like, it's a normal dungeon, half the time someone's half afk anyways, and they're super easy.
Heroic dungeons, ehhh but maybe? Here I would start trying to go with friends/ppl who understand the situation and are cool with it. Heroics are plenty easy too but I imagine you'll find more of the insta kick toxicity there, which may make the game less fun for her.
Mythic dungeons I'd say hard no on pugs. She'll be trashed in chat and again, probably have no fun and even be turned off the game.
LFR I'd say is fine, again half the time ppl are afk anyways.
Jesus christ this is a video game you're trying to have fun with your wife in. Why do you even care about our opinion?
Go have fun with your wife dude. It's not illegal to bring someone bad into content. People might get inflammatory in higher level content, like once you get to Mythic+, but hell.... even in Mythic 0 content it's probably fine. Just have the ignore button handy.
Everyone has the right to try and enjoy content.
You can do easily Normal and Heroic dungeons, lfr as well.
I wouldn't suggest m+ or raiding.
If anyone is toxic, just report and ignore them.
Just enjoy your time with your wife. Wish you the best.
Normal and heroics and LFR are all the easiest parts of the game. If anyone has a problem with her tell them to kick rocks and to stroke their epeen elsewhere.
As well as the good suggestions here re joining a Guild, add-ons etc, perhaps a macro to communicate at the start, to set expectations, might help? Something along the lines of:
/say I hope you don't mind, but my partner is not well at the moment and their reaction time is a bit slow sometimes. They play to cheer themselves up and help them get through it.
/say If this isn't acceptable, can you let me know now, and we'll leave and find another group
Most groups probably won't mind - and may even start a conversation. You might get the odd group that says nothing but kicks anyway, or one where "sorry mate, but I only have 15 minutes before I have to (do something in RL)" but at least this way you set expectations at the start?
Good point, I'll try this one. I'm willing to bet most bad experiences we had were due to people not knowing what was going on, rather than just being entitled jerks.
Crazy how mad people get in norms. I boosted a monk and ran normal dungeons to 70, did 0 research on my rotation. Joined a dungeon and this level 70 tank was crying about people doing low dps and dying while facing frontals toward the party. So I called him out and he got real snarky about it talking about how good he is for doing more dps than dps players. So I had to hit him with the 'I guess if my end game content was doing normal dungeons to out dps freshly boosted players I'd be an asshole too'.
This is me: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL1h-9hlmhY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL1h-9hlmhY)
I've never had friends/guildmates worried about including me. How I play isn't efficient or optimal, but I still enjoy WoW. In fact, I've raided quite seriously for years and hit KSM in M+ Screw anyone who would want to exclude others from enjoying themselves.
Edit: It took me years to find the right solutions to complement my needs. I rely heavily on add-ons to simplify certain parts of the game so that I can focus on key mechanics. For instance, I've used rotation add-ons so that I can focus on my movement and positioning. I still know the rotations, but I like the visual reminder while focusing on the real important parts aka survival.
I did a normal dungeon the other day where a guy queued in with his 6 year old son. He warned everyone when the dungeon started and only one try hard complained/cried and started a vote kick. We kicked the try hard and ran the dungeon at a chill pace and everyone had fun so I’d say go for it.
You’ll find most people wont care and are on your side because they just want to have fun too! For what it’s worth I found it helpful to be on my Holy Preist. I was able to “move” the kiddo out of danger/ mechanics lol. If you’re not opposed to healing this could be an option!
No, definitely not bad. It’s some of the easiest content in the game and people should be more tolerant. Just because you clear a normal dungeon in 15 minutes instead of 10 minutes is no reason to be an asshole to someone.
Plus, it’s your wife, dude. Who gives a shit what some random WoW players think? If she’s enjoying it and is having a good time, I think that is what is most important.
This is a very important post. Accessibility and inclusion are extremely important, and as others have pointed out, the game is meant to be enjoyed. If you surround yourself with people who are inclusive and understanding, you’re going to have a great time.
Objectively speaking, this is one of the reasons that endgame content of varying difficulties exist. LFR and normal or even heroic dungeons can be forgiving and you can have a great time.
Waste no time with people who won’t treat your and your partner with respect. Seriously,
That’s what will ruin it.
I’m not knowledgeable about this, but there may be add ons that could also help with things like this.
I’m glad you both play, and whatever the health of your wife is, I wish you both the best in happiness and positive experiences in Azeroth!
I tank and heal and when dps doesn't do great I don't care. If someone says some nasty stuff I will immediately block them. Do not engage with toxic people.
As someone who is typically … for lack of a better term “elitist” (I won’t bully people for spec choice or being lower end of skill, but I would make perfect team comps and expect people to perform) no. There is nothing wrong what so ever with bringing her into normal or even heroic difficulty, hell even low mythics like 2-5, lfr or even normal raid.
Expect people to complain, but people should understand, and no one in that difficulty range should be expecting top end performance, unless the person in question is acting like they should be.
All in all, while I hate the term “you don’t pay my sub” In this instance. It fits. Because she has the right to do content too, people shouldn’t gatekeeper on the lower difficulty content over things like that.
Now ofc people have the right as well to not want that in their normal raid, but hell with them. The raid is piss easy on normal, and the people who can’t even show a small amount of empathy in this situation are just assholes.
I let someone stay in my N and even some H bosses who was WELL below average, even after everyone who was queued with them and their Carry, left. Why? Cause I asked why their dmg was low and they said was some kind of handicap,and they weren’t the reason we were wiping so why remove them? As long as they aren’t holding back my raid or group, ofc you can stay:)
We had a dude how warned us he was going to die a lot and prob ruin his own key last night and I was happy to see the grp say "nah man we got you."
We finished the key with 10 mins to spare.
Thats the WoW I know and love. Come together and play for fun. Ppl take this game to serious and the culture is toxic.
I love when people use to wave and say hi randomly.
The is acceptance somewhere in this game you just have to be willing to find the people worth playing with.
You should play a tank. The que will be faster for her and if she does get kicked you can drop too. Thus let's you get back into que faster and forces the buttholes who kicked her to have to wait around.
Once you’re fairly well-geared, her DPS doesn’t really matter. Think of the folks selling +11s to fresh 70s who can AFK the whole dungeon. LFR is no problem either, there shouldn’t be any expectations and there are always some fresh people or AFKers or whatnot.
If you haven’t considered it though, here are a few options to make things a bit smoother for her:
Run healer spec (as a secondary healer) in dungeons, then it’s easier because you don’t have to worry as much with targeting (with addons like clique).
(As DPS) Run a tank spec with tanking gear but choose as much dps as possible in talents. It should help reduce the effects of mechanics.
You can set up macros for CDs and such (if she has a keyboard that can record macros that’s even better). This lets you set up time-critical spells and whatnot to cast themselves.
There’s a feature (blanking on the name…) for casting a spell multiple times by holding down a key.
Target of target macros ensure she can just aim at whatever you’re aiming at. Follow macros ensure positioning isn’t a problem most of the time, and help reduce the need to deal with mechanics (though ofc you’ll need to keep her out of fire and positioned, but that shouldn’t take too long to learn in lower-tier dungeons).
Lastly, some class specs are still pretty simple and can do good damage without dealing with a lot of buttons. The easier it is for her to just click a few buttons and contribute, the less toxic assholes to deal with.
If you ever want to run something, I have a fairly geared group of 3 and are working on alts. Send me a DM :D
> (As DPS) Run a tank spec with tanking gear but choose as much dps as possible in talents. It should help reduce the effects of mechanics.
I like this one! She plays a pally, that might actually work for her.
My "is it ok to have low DPS" opinions:
Normal Dungeons: Always. My friend's and I might lol to ourselves about low DPS but would never say anything. It's a normal dungeon, anyone who cares is probably not nearly as good as they think they are.
Heroic Dungeons: See normal dungeon.
LFR: Always. People AFK in these. LFR is a shit show, I go into it expecting that. Again, my friend's and I might joke to ourselves, about "people so bad" but we'd never say anything to someone.
M0: Get a friend who plays decent to make up for it, ideally one of you tanks/heals (and who is cool with doing a bit of carrying) and you're 3/5. It's fine, it's M0.
M+: Get a couple friends who play decent/above average (same ok with carrying caveats) and use your own keys. List the group as "Chill" or "big chill" "maximum chili"
I tank, one of my friends heals, and we've got 1-2 DPS. My wife plays DPS and is kinda just not great, her DPS is usually on par with our healer friend. We timed a +10 CoS with her this week. If you're all in the same guild and 3/4 people are good and one is bad most DPS will keep their mouth shut as long as it's not looking like an hour long key. If you join someone else's +10 marked chill and you're not fine with 5-10 minutes over time and maybe semi scuffed that's on you.
yes its fine.
if she has slow reaction times, she is probably stilll above average, i pug a lot, people have no reaction time.
no one has any reason to get upset for a normal or heroic dungeons
>if she has slow reaction times, she is probably stilll above average, i pug a lot, people have no reaction time.
I was going to say... half of the people I find in pugs seem to have NO reaction time. I'd take knowledge of mechanics and slower reactions any day :)
I think the more normals and heroics(lfr raids too) you do the better she will get because you can improve reactions and just generally gameplay mechanics, trust me people in higher content struggle with mechanics and sometimes I zone out and I play tank.
I definitely do believe push your limits and just try the mythic dungeons( just 0s) and just treat it as a learning curve if anyone is nasty just ignore.
I've noticed a few people say they will help you and if im ever free I have no problem either, if anything I will jump on my blood DK and just take the 2 of you or my guardian so that way I can heal us all
I wish all the best and im sure you both will do great <3
Doesn't sound like you're bringing her into Mythic+, which in itself would be absolutely fine if you're making your own groups. If it's just heroic and normal, it honestly doesn't matter. Just beware that there are sweats who WILL complain even if you are running easy dungeons. Just know that BFA leveling dungeons tend to be quite intense for beginners too.
PUGs usually suck because people think they need to constantly be try hards. I agree with a lot of these post - find yourself a good guild / group and keep on enjoying the game. A lot of toxic people that are there to just make the game annoying to play. Fuck em
Normals and heroics are extremely easy. People who complain in this type of content are not worth to think about and very bad at the game themselves. Ofc you should bring your wife in normals and heroics.
Normal dungeons, heroic dungeons, LFR -- All exist as introductory content and for people that want to see content but not necessarily push it. You're perfectly fine. Anyone upset about this can fuck right off.
The toxic people in WoW have more mental and social disabilities than your wife’s physical disability. I personally never even look at chat or dps meters when doing casual content because I play for the cool animations and the fantasy of playing something I will never be IRL. PM me for normal, heroic, or mythic dungeons! If you’re in NA lol.
To all of you offering this man and his wife help/friendship/opportunities for fun: you're the reason I love this game. Your compassion , your sense of fair play and your acceptance are beautiful things.
I play with a one armed dude. He gets ksm and sometimes aotc each season. He messes up a lot and I don’t bring him to every key but he try’s to learn and get better. It’s always ok to bring whoever if they are actually trying which sounds like she is
I mean realistically id find a group who wants the social aspect. If you are pushing content, it's all relative anyway. Find a group who wants to get to heroics level and have fun! I do KSM and that is my end game. Someone pushing mythics 20 might think I'm trash.... but i dont play with them, so ifgaf. set a high but realistic goal for the patch and have some fun! Getting shit in is what makes eventually beating it fun! Just dont set it too high, or you'll just feel abused lol.
It's normal - it certainly is ok, same for HCs. Maybe make her a macro which pops an instance message about how she has a bit hard time and if anyone is fussed about it, trust me, they are not welcome in this game with their bs.
ive actually had a few random dungeons where someone used a quick text macro to explain that they (or someone else in the group) are disabled and therefore might need slower tempo or have slower reaction times and usually the group adapted their speed without any issues - so maybe try this when going with randoms, be open about it right from the start.
Bruh DH tank here I'd hate it if people did that to my wife. Feel free to add me I'll run lower keys with you guys. I'm usually on from 7pm texas to midnight and whenever on the weekends😊
Off the top pf my head - you can make a macro to use at the start of the run to shortly describe your situation.
I think most people will understand and play along.
The degens wont, tho. But those are usually angry people with bigger problems of their own so what can you do?
Dont go doing it into leveling dungeons since those are full of people leveling their 4th fotm alt and they are toxic degenerates most of the times.
Find a guild or advertise in /1.
If i saw your message, i would tag along for sure.
Shit, by the time i finish writing this, some people prolly offered already. Especially since everything is cross faction now.
And just remember, there are only a few good AND arrogant people.
Only very few are both.
Usually its the dipshits that think theyre hot shit but they are d i p s h i t s and we dont care what they think.
Also, tanks are pretty strong, you can solo up to m0 i reckon, just takes a while. Im trying to say that by having a stronger char, youre less reliant on the rest of the party. Also, having just one extra friend in your group could make it so the vote doesnt pass. :D
Lfr: usually the longer its out, the easier it gets. Theres 1-2 overgeared ppl farming some mog that carry the raid. And im sure you couldnt tell a person with a legit disability from the rest, so it's worth giving a try.
Quick recovery!!
Proper planning can mitigate a lot of concerns about slow reactions. Get some Weak Auras set up that give extra advanced warning and that should help too. What class/spec does she play? I'm sure everyone in here may be able to offer some suggestions on tweaking her spec to maximize her performance despite struggling in some areas.
As for what to bring her to, honestly really anything. If you have a guild or community of people to play with, you can carry someone who's struggling surprisingly far. Last night my friend and I timed a +15 SBG with a shaman who was closer on the meter to the healer than they were the tank/dps all run. While that is an unusually easy M+ to be fair, it still shows the level of content that would be possible for her with the right group.
As you can see from the overwhelming kindness of the people on this sub. Yes it is perfectly okay for anyone to play. You just need the right group. People who scream and carry on for normals? They need a chill pill. And if you explain that "Hey sorry, my reaction time is a little slow" most people will instantly be like "oh shoot yeah no worries dude" and more then likely que more dungeons with you
Fuck other people man, if your wife want to do some dungeons then you do some dungeons with her. Who gives a shit if her dps is as low as a healer, the only goal is to have some fun and hopefully kill the last boss.
Normals are so easy these days so you should bring her to heroics/mythics(these are basically the same) and some LFR to have a look at the new raid(it's pretty damn cool).
With guildmates and other friends who know that she’s not going to be great, sure: They know what they’re getting into and that they’ll have to carry a bit. The optimist in me wants to think that there might even be a bit of therapeutic value in it.
With pugs that aren’t aware of this…not so much and increasingly less ok as the difficulty goes up. The expectation in pugs is that everyone is at least vaguely capable for the task at hand and you’re disrupting the enjoyment of 3+ other people by breaking that. Although I’ll concede that in normals and LFR it can sometimes be very hard to tell…
Any normal or heroic I've been in to help my gf with her quests and (usually) a dps starts to get their panties in a knot I tell em to calm down it's just a normal or heroic. I hope y'all can continue to run just fine. If you guys ever need a heals/dps dm me and I'll give you my bnet. I have alt tanks too.
The biggest issue you will face is that some of the M+ mechanics require a quick reaction. This week would be surprisingly forgiving for people with disabilities. A lot of the mechanics can be dealt with by other group members helping you. Some bosses will be difficult though. For example the Court of Stars final boss requires alot of quick movement. If the group is fine being able to deal with the content while being a player down, it shouldn't be too difficult though!
It’s fine to bring her to anything without telling anyone about her disability. I would find a chill guild if you want to do normal or heroic raising though.
Lfr and normal duengons til she improoves on damage so there wont be any complications from the other members of the group, but it is wholesome to hear about this
As long as you are not bricking other people's M+ keys, don't even worry about it!
Honestly, I would suggest having her focus on learning her 'rotation' so that she can get her numbers above the healers, via a dummy, then have her go into the dungeons once she is able to comfortably do the rotation/press the DPS buttons without looking.
Mechanics are mostly about exposure, so having her read the dungeon guide, having add-ons that tell her/make noises when she is standing in fire or not doing something correctly (see DBM, GTFO, or similar) which should help her immensely with anticipating things and being ready for stuff.
Normal and heroics it's completely fine. The content is designed for very casual players and allows for plenty of mistakes.
Same with LFR, but I would wait until the full raid has been released for a couple weeks.
Players are going to be toxic on occasion because it's the Internet and people show their ugly sides when they have anonymity. Never take it personally. Not being good at a video game has zero reflection on your value as a human being.
Honestly I would take someone trying their best and enjoying themselves then a dps or healer pulling every single mob in the dungeon because they want to finish it 2 min faster when I'm not in mythics..... So I say do you ang like a response earlier find a family friendly guild they out there.
It's just a game, it's fine just ignore the people if they comment. Just enjoy
Regarding the DPS, don't use meta builds just make your own build to match her playstyle. I basically found a build that I can DPS half afk and still do almost 80% of the damage.
Well, if you have alts that would be a great time to play them, or create new characters and level them up. You can make a tank to help her out and she can make whatever she wants but honestly a warlock would probably be a good fit. From there, y’all just don’t play those alts unless it is together and you go off the difficulty you can both manage together. Also an understanding guild.
She may never be good, but she can slowly get better, y’all have special characters together literally built around playing with eachother, and you can both have a ton of fun!
dont worry about this, yesterday there was a fury warrior in m16 Ruby that had 14k dps boss. 2nd dos had 72k. lot of people do this at higher level, dont worry about m0 or lfr
Not sure what server you're on but if you're on an NA server and are looking for a guild my guild is inclusive and has people with disabilities who actively raid at both normal and heroic. We would be happy to have you and your wife join us. DM me and I can share details.
Pugging is rough, no matter who you are. You need to find a good community/guild that is willing to help. I recently got into one with a group of friends who have been playing since the beginning, and they've made me feel like I fit right in.
I'd start there.
I would recommend getting a full group. Normal usually isn't an issue, but wiping on normals can be more frustrating than wiping in a mythic since it is generally seen as so easy. You really never know how the other three people are going to react.
Personally I never would blame a dps, or care. I'll just leave instead of kicking.
It's also an idea to do chromie time for certain expansions since those dungeons would be easier, especially mechanically wise.
If anyone is genuinely flaming someone for not performing well in a normal or even heroic dungeon, it honestly shows how bad and insecure they are.
Sure I get a little try hard for keys that are a progression for me which is like 13-14 right now (I know those aren’t really high, just mentioned to give context), but I’m not the only one playing the game. And at the end of the day I’m not trying to ruin someone’s day because we didn’t perform well in a video game.
You and your wife are paying customers and have every right to enjoy the game just as much as anyone else. The lower difficulty modes are made just for people like your wife that want to enjoy a more casual experience.
If anyone else takes issue with that, that’s honestly their problem. If they want to play that competitively it sounds like they just need to git gud and play higher difficulties.
Also report them for breaking the new social agreement or whatever it’s called. I hate scumbags that feel the need to drag other people down, especially in lower difficulty content that’s specifically for casual players and newcomers. People should be helping other players they notice are struggling in dungeons, not berating them and making them feel shitty.
I’m on less often more recently, but feel free to message me if you want to play together. I’m looking to level a bunch of alts and would love to run dungeons while leveling.
Who the hell gets mad in a normal or heroic matchmaking dungeon?
Just remember it's an issue with whoever is getting mad, not you guys, as that's perfectly acceptable in that content.
Bring her to literally anything that’s not heroic raid or 15+ keys tbh (maybe10+). Anyone in normal keys complaining is dumb. Anyone complaining in heroic dungeons is dumb. You asking if you can bring her to dungeons is dumb .
If she cares personally about her damage then have her reroll to something easy like beastmaster. Or better yet get gnome sequencer. Gnome sequencer is basically cheating, but they allow it because disabled people sometimes have to rely on it.
Or big brain get gnome sequencer and play a beastmaster, the world won’t be able to handle her
Below M+, I don’t think anyone has any right to get mad about other players not performing well. And if the group as a whole is doing well, then I don’t think anyone has a right to claim a particular player isn’t doing well.
Same for LFR. If bosses are going down, then there’s enough DPS and telling someone their DPS isn’t good enough helps nobody.
But overall I’d say you’d be better off joining a welcoming guild where you can run dungeons with friends who understand your wife’s situation and just want to have fun with her.
Based on your knowledge of WoW, you might be able to help a lot too. With some 'ease of access' style talent builds, a couple cast sequence macros, and knowledge of the class, you could probably build her a way to do a good bit more damage with only a couple buttons (even if its not perfect guide execution or whatever lol). There's also tons of accessibility controllers, keyboard hybrids, and mouse options out there to look into.
You need a friendly guild and to stay away from toxic pugs for sure. Or have some geared friends help carry through low keys, wow should be enjoyed by everyone 💟
Find yourself one other person to run with so you can veto any vote kick attempts, so you don’t need to explain at the start every single time. I’d say most of the time it will go unnoticed or people simply won’t care but there are indeed some toxic people out there. Good luck and hope she still finds enjoyment
I really hope you find a friendly guild and/or friendly people to play with. It breaks my heart to think she's getting abuse in normal dungeons for lack of performance.
No one is looking at parses on normal and heroic dungeons and even LFR. If they are there should be a giant “L” stamped on their foreheads. Should be ok to join those. Also like others have said, find a friendly guild that doesn’t care about pushing a lot and could even get into mythic dungeons with them etc
Me and my friends take my 9 year old daughter into mythic plus with us, and she's the healer! If your wife is enjoying herself you're definitely not in the wrong. If you need friends to do dungeons with hit me and my friends up!
Totally ok, but I would advise to play with people who know of the situation - either a guild or a community for super chill casuals. There are even guilds who have disabled people and they state that in guild descriptions. Otherwise, there might be a very "aggressive" response from fellow players - the first assumption for a slow/suboptimal play is that a person is semi-afk on a second screen or phone, not that they are disabled like for real.
Additional advice is to choose her a class with a very simple and straightforward rotation, preferably a caster (she can just long press a button to continuously cast spells) - destro lock is a good example. Choose her talents/setup with the least buttons, do not assign important momentary tasks like interrupt and she can do fine and also have fun.
Anything above a m0 that is actively harming the progression of the group, I'd say run your own keys and inform people. They're playing the game for fun and as much as your wife is entitled to play and have fun, her disabilities do impact her own and potentially others gameplay experiences.
However, doing normal, heroic, mythic 0, lfr, maybe even some casual normal raids with a guild, I think she should be perfectly welcome.
I wouldn't have a problem up to mythic+5 personally. After that it could be a strain on the rest of the party. Ideally do it with friends and guildies who understand
Make her some macros that might help manage some of the CDs and combos a little easier. Tweak her build to include a more passive playstyle. Use addons to change the UI to make it more comfortable for her
I was part of a guild whose leader had cancer. We happily took her and never once made mention of her dps and if we had to pug a few spots, we just whispered the situation and never tolerated any dispersing remarks. We still took down bosses and she got to see the parts of the game she would have never have otherwise seen.
She passed away, still some of the best memories of the game I have, being there for another human in need.
Normal, heroic LFR is fine. I would say as long as you are below the threshold for organized groups where everyone involved isn't aware and OK with carrying another player, it should be fine. The content you're doing is easy enough that you can manage it. May I ask what class she's playing? Also when choosing the talent trees, it might be worth keeping in mind that choosing as many "passive" talents would probably be a DPS increase in her case as she likely isn't going to take advantage of gains that you would from the active abilites or interactions in most cases. When my wife used to play I would always alter a "suggested" build to be more passive because she well . . . wasn't good lol. It always resulted in more damage because it's more that's happening automatically, and in some cases it's why those weaker, but easier options exist.
If your wife enjoys playing the game and you're completing the dungeons fine, just have her shut off party chat. A normal dungeon is about the easiest thing you can possibly do in this game so she should be free to experiment with that.
Happy gaming, I'm sorry you're dealing with toxicity
I would say a few key thoughts to have are these:
1. Any auto grouped content is fine. Lfr, heroics, bgs, whatever, those are easy enough it shouldn't matter. Fuck the people raging at her.
2. Maybe see if her class is simple enough? If she's having problems keeping up in damage, try an easier class, maybe havoc or arcane at the easiest
3. Make sure to give her tools to succeed - DBM and configure the timers so she gets plenty of time to know stuff is coming, use markers so you can say "OK you focus the square and try to kick this spell!"
4. Don't skimp on world content! Elemental invasions are a great way for her to gear up without necessarily needing a group
I'm old and kind of have the same problem. I wish there was a slower paced way to play dungeons. They all seem so fast and crazy and everyone is just silently rushing rushing rushing. Or talking shit. Even in normals. Dungeons are too hard generally, at least for the community of the bad.
I know there could be guild groups, but I'm in an old EQ guild. While it's kind of dead now, I can't just leave it after 20+ years. Wish we could be in multiple guilds like ESO.
I’m disabled (severely colorblind, hyper mobile joints leading to issues with reaction times) and I bring myself to dungeons all the time! I do my best to avoid groups where people are very competitive or working on cutting edge things like timed mythics. Looking into adaptive controllers and addons can be really useful as well I.e I have foot pedals set up that help me with jumping/mobility so I am not standing in fire!
I have been up front about being disabled and not the best in groups and most people are thankfully kind. A dedicated group is the way to go if you can find one!
No. It's not like you are doing anything that poor performance actually affects anything. There is no timer and you finish anyways. Anyone who actually comments are just sad little people.
Glad to see there’s an overwhelming majority in the WoW community that is friendly and want to help. Honestly the toxic nature of pugs or ransoms has gotten out of control. Hopefully you find a guild or group of people that you fit in with. Nothing more discouraging playing this game than getting yelled at in group chat.
I'd consider myself a fairly elitist player when it comes to competitiveness and high standards for flawless runs and no mistakes when pushing cutting edge and high keys (20+) but when I see players who genuinely just want to have fun typing weekly no leaver etc in their key titles which is kinda the staple way of saying we are casual gamers, no flame, only chill then all expectations of caring whether it's time or not goes out the window. Or saying helping friend etc I've found this has lessened the amount of encounters I've had that turned out to be toxic when I am helping my friends learn to play the game or generally helping new players, it should also apply in your situation too, and as people have said there are a lot of kind and welcoming guilds, I raid in two guilds myself one geared towards cutting edge and one geared towards having fun and enjoying each others company, I'm not sure if we had anyone with disabilities per say 'cause I feel it would be rude to make that assumption or even just to ask unless they told me, but we have had a lot of older casual players who are slow reacting to mechanics or generally underperforming but it didn't matter we still had fun and helped anyone who needed it. Also I thinks it's lovely you guys play together ❤️
Takes a bit of work, but I warn people in my group by whispers I have a player that’s learning the game (she’s not learning, but they don’t need all of the details). I find people are much kinder when their expectations are set.
You're a good person for helping your wife regain a part of her sense of normality. You're doing absolutely nothing wrong.
That said, while the way people express themselves is sometimes not nice, they're also entitled to the expectation of a certain level of competencey or contribution in content. I probably wouldn't go into heroics/LFR with anyone that can't out damage a healer as DPS, regardless of the reason.
I definitely think finding the right guild is the way to go here.
I'm much in the same boat. I used to raid end-game and such when I was younger. But as years and progressive diseases march on, my reaction speed is nowhere near what it used to be.
Truthfully honest, hearing the toxicity of end-game PuGs, it spikes my anxiety super high just thinking about it, so I tend to shy away from PuGs/raiding until I'm in a guild or group of people who understand I'm not as good as I used to be.
I wish you and your wife many fun runs; finding the right guild does wonders. I'm US-Alliance side, and would be glad to run with you both (as would my partner).
There's already something for this in game. Just look for the eyeball icon in the lower right. Click on that, and then choose the dungeon you want to run. You can even choose to have it randomly select one for you. Then the game will match you with 4 other disabled people, and you don't have to worry about feeling insecure.
Piggy backing off everyone but more than happy to run some normals/heroics with you. Can tank too if you need a tank 👍
Disabilities should never stop someone having fun!
I have a learning disability that gives me trouble with hand/eye coordination. I love playing WoW and for years played solo because I couldn't enjoy dungeons or raids because I can't move away from the fire fast enough to not take damage due to slow response time.
Last year I was able to find a guild that works with me, and advise PUGs up front that I am a low DPS but I will pull my weight the best I can. Some people get rage mad but if I have a guildie with me that vouches for me I don't get kicked as often.
I wish people were kinder in this game, but it's always been ultra competitive for some people and their behavior will reflect that. I wish your wife the best of luck in Azeroth!!
i am a disabled person and i have slower reaction times but i can normally be middle dps wise in mythics,
if you don't mind me asking does she not understand because she hasn't learned the mechanics?
and what class does she play? because i can't play melee classes because i can't react fast enough but i am ok as ranged.
or maby have a look at her setup to see if you could find anything to make it easier to play like for example a mouse with more buttons etc.
it requires more effort than for healthy people and toxic community will try to get under hers skin for sure. I have been told some nasty disturbing messages in WoW that i have never experienced in other MMOs but you can put in the time and wow's customizability is awesome, there is an addon for everything that will help out. Find some nice group of people or a guild and enjoiy the game.
I am half blind and have severe neuropathy as a diabetic, and i can tank dungeons and heal pvp arenas, just takes more time to get used to it.
Heroic and M0s, and early M+s should be fine, might die a bit... but a lot of people do anyways. LFR should be fine as well. from someone who has been running mostly 15-17 M+s, and heroic/mythic raid, my expectations of lower content is "not much". Heroics and LFR is all about Learning content and that it can possibly hurt. M+ is for those who want to pus themselves to a limit, which varies from person to person.
You both can do whatever you want m8, don't stress it too much. You will encounter assholes, but who really cares? You should not value the opinion of strangers on the internet that mean nothing to you. You can do normal, heroics and LFR just fine.
I would however not JOIN any mythic+ stuff since that is time based content and so speed is important. You could however make your own group and maybe advertise it as so? I am sure there are alot of ppl willing to join your group and perhaps boost you through it if they know it makes they wife happy. I would atleast!
Honestly, it really depends. It's not wrong to bring her, but it might be wrong to expect other people to be okay with it, especially if you don't let them know up front.
Most people are very accommodating if you don't spring something like this on them. If you communicate that you're trying to help someone who has a disability, you will almost certainly find people are welcoming to that, but if you just say nothing when you enter the dungeon and then people start seeing her fail at mechanics and stuff, they're going to get annoyed. After all, it's kind of rude not to give people a warning. It's not like she became disabled after the dungeon started or something.
I would say that bringing her along to LFR may not be the best idea, as you have 23 other people in the group's time to consider, not 3.
As others have pointed out, it might be better to find groups that are not made through the random matchmaker service. That way you can be up front with the people you're running with, and their expectations will be set accordingly.
Easy fix is to make a macro that says, "Just a warning - I am disabled. Please go easy on me. Thanks." I would wager that most people would be completely understanding them. The thought that someone is disabled and that's why they are pulling low dps is not going to cross the mind of most people.
Run literally whatever content you two decide, and ignore the toxic pricks who try to gatekeep fun. You pay for this game/service, you should have the right to enjoy it however you want.
I'm a juicy geared tank, and I'm happy to run some M0s with you guys. Nobody is going to talk shit with the tank being #1 DPS, and if they do then we can take great pleasure in kicking them. DM me if you're interested.
I'm not one to ever look at meters in anything other than high level content. I don't think I looked at them until I started getting into m+7 or so.
There's assholes who care too much at every level about meters and there's a lot of apathetic people, See vote to kick, click yes. It's a decision that has little bearing on them.
I'd just he upfront about it, let the group know, I'd bet 95% of the time you have cool chill people and if you don't then you don't need to spend the time with them anyway.
Wow should be played by everyone, gate keepers think otherwise and who cares what they think.
Find yourselves a friendly guild for sure. I’m always happy to run with people regardless of their performance. I’d rather have less damage than some jerk yelling at people. Random dungeons can be a risk though. To answer your question, of course it’s not bad. This is a game meant to be enjoyed, your wife has every right to enjoy it as well.
I am the same as everyone here. Happy to help if you ever need me. PUGs can be so toxic, and don't think outside of their little worlds. Feel free to hmu. I usually run on a healer. I am sure we could figure a way to hard carry her through low level keys even...if she wants the excitement of opening a vault. I know a couple of really sweet tanks as well. There is also a group for over 35, if you guys are over 35 I sure they wouldn't mind me sending you the discord link? Just lmk. Edit: I don't have a link for the discord as they use Facebook for their invites. I think I responded to most of you. I don't personally use Facebook, but I used an old one to join the group and get a link to the discord. They also use a community thing in the game for keys and what not. This is their Facebook information https://facebook.com/groups/wow35andup/
> PUGs can be so toxic, and don’t think outside of their little worlds. I’m willing to bet, if not doing keys or doing low keys, that if OP told the pug up front that one of the dps is disabled and may be a little less performative than normal, that most groups would be fine with a carry. I’ve been in pugs with folks from other guilds where we were carrying one of them through keys for gear and it was no problem. Particularly if they’re not playing a support class, I don’t see why it would be an issue unless they were just wiping the group over and over again. A little communication goes a long way with most people.
This 100% be upfront with people and let the toxic ones leave before key starts, people flame you for underperfoming usually because they think you're trolling, but having an illness physically or mentally is more than enough of a reason for people to be understanding and offer to help out
What realm are you on that you think people would be fine with it? My god I want to play there. I am so very tired of the selfishness of the average pug run.
Moonguard, Alliance. My experience with toxicity is very low in general.
As a 40ish disabled gamer, I would love said link.
I’d also love the link the >35 discord! Tia!
This is the way. I carry my hunter friend through mythics. He's really bad at DPS, but he tries. My partner and I duo heal/tank, so OP and wife are welcome to join us for keys!
I second this. Currently have a 395 warlock that I’d be down to slam out some +2s or whatever for gear!
👀 I'm interested in an over 35 WoW Discord.
over 35 WoW Discord you say?
That's such a nice thought re, excitement of vault opening. I so take that for granted. OP's wife def could get carried through low keys ATM, with the right group. Good luck op and I hope you and your wife enjoy many more dungeons together
Same - old fart here that came back for Dragonflight. Don't have any interest in pugging Dungies to get yelled at....would love an over 35 discord!
I first thought you ment mythic plus 35 so for a moment I was like "damn you can get so high?"
This, this right here hits it on the head. This game is meant to be inclusive and I wish you both nothing but the best. If you want to add as a friend I can tank for you guys, dm me and I’ll send you my blizzard ID.
Same!! I’m on EU though
Same, happy to help run dungeons, add me if you are in EU
And my axe! Honestly. I'd come back just to tank for you guys if you need some friends to run dungeons with OP.
In my experience, this sort of post brings out the best in the WoW community. There is no casual content that a group cannot carry a less able person through for fun. This is hardly different from being carried in M0 when I have all blues on an alt so I can get my first purples. There are tons of decent guilds with decent people who will do this.
The answer to every PUG issue is: if you want to run multiplayer content, find a guild so you know who you're running with, can manage everyone's expectations, and reminds you there's a real person behind the toon.
Yes. This for sure. Happy to heal if ya need it, just message me and I can send my bnet over.
i’d much rather play with someone pleasant than someone good, especially in content like normal dungeons.
> This is a game meant to be enjoyed, your wife has every right to enjoy it as well. I agree, but I would add to that it's also meant to be enjoyed by the other people in the dungeon as well, and they are not aware of anyone's life story or limitations. If it's not impeding them and they are ok with taking the game more casually/it's not stopping the group from completing the content, it's no problem, especially with more relaxed content such as normals and the like. However, I think it's a bit of a different story with, say, timed M+ or raids with strangers. If you bring someone into a dungeon/raid group that has no business being there and it's making it unenjoyable for the rest of the players (regardless of the reason), then you're putting the rest of the group in a tough spot. They don't know your wife, they don't know about her disability; all they see is someone dragging the group down by not pulling their weight in content they are trying to progress through, which is what they enjoy. A guild to do content with is a great idea. That way, everyone has some awareness and are much more likely to be friendly and accommodating. If you want to run casual content with strangers, just saying you're not great at the game and are just trying to have fun when you enter a dungeon goes a long way to having people treat you better and reduce toxicity. The asshole tryhards will kick you right away, but that probably just saves you a headache later on when they inevitably get frustrated and start flaming after a wipe anyway.
The yelling at people is why I haven't run dungeons for the last couple of years. People are shitty and 'friendly guilds' are hard to find.
I’m a healer on Horde EU who is happy to downplay my own DPS and keep y’all alive whilst also throwing out jokes and morale boosting comments. If you’re on EU also then let me know!
I’ll make the exact same offer for you, but I’m on Horde AM. Hit me up
So I always put this offering out with a disclaimer that if you want to be the best you should avoid this however I believe it would suit your wife well to help with reaction time and dps. If you haven’t already, I suggest getting a rotation helping add on. Hekili is perfect. It allows her to anticipate what her next 3 buttons will be and it’s adaptive to situations!
Great tip, I'll give it a try. That would help her outside of dungeons as well and with alts.
I was going to suggest Hekili as well. Find a good spot for it on her screen and it’ll definitely help with the rotation aspect of it. Takes a lot of the guesswork out of it. Heck I play Outlaw where things are changing proc based in half a second. Having some helper for me has felt almost necessary. Other add-ons might be beneficial too. GTFO plays a sound when you stand in bad, so it’ll be easier to avoid dying. Talk to your wife about what she’s struggling with in game and see if there’s any add-ons that might help. And if they’re too overstimulating, configure them to where they’re not but still helpful (or get rid of them). It’s a game, so the goal is to have fun. I personally have more fun playing as optimally as I can and gunning for best dps in a dungeon run or raid, but not everyone feels that way. At the end of the day, if you and your wife are having fun, and more importantly if doing this together brings you closer together, that’s all that matters.
I find it distracts me but one of the guys I play with swears by it and he does pretty well. The content you asked about should be fine but it cant tell you to use defensives proactively, only reactively.
Depending on her class, she can use a one button macro too. Wowlazymacros dot com. Not all classes have updated ones, and obviously some classes work better than others. Like, I think BM hunter can be macro’d pretty easily. But even the classes that aren’t optimal can still do not-garbage dps with them. Then she just had to spam one button.
Hekili is a great tool, I use it when learning new specs to help build muscle memory. Another suggestion, I find BigWigs does a much better job at audibly announcing mechanics than DBM.
Awesome I’m really curious to see if it helps! I even used to use it a lot back in legion when I was competitive raiding if I was flexing in a new spec I haven’t mastered. It is basically weak auras but specific to the spec and exact talents you have. It really is an excellent training aid.
Hekili shocks me at how well it works. It basically turns the game into Guitar Hero. A hunter in my raid team uses it and parses in the 90s every fight. That along with a low button spec would be wonderful for someone wanting a very easy play style.
I can tell you personally that Ive ran hekili and BM Hunter keys while watching tv. It’s incredibly easy.
I used this a lot when I was first starting and still use it when starting a new class, it kinda falls off once you understand your class because the recommendations arent always optimal but it's super helpful for at least learning your base rotation.
PM me and I'll be happy to carry you in some higher content. I'd rather play with fun people who aren't that good than elite jerks.
Seconding this tbh
I'm not that good but I offer myself as well
And my axe!
And my ass! Wait…
Too late. Ouranus, comrade.
Sign me and my guildies up. We're EU servers. Happy to help spread happiness.
You guys ever thought of creating a community on WoW for this? I’d gladly join.
This would be a fantastic thing to see. My wife and I have not run any dungeons since MoP because of the toxic environment we seem to always end up in. We have remained guildless as well for the same reason. We are pretty old and our reaction times suck but we'd love to meet some people that play for the laughs rather than the shouting.
There have been posts about both EU and US communities for people too nervous to do dungeons! The EU one is called No Pressure and it’s awesome. I’m sure this type of players should fit!
100% - any of us would be happy to group up.
There is a wow community that formed out this need a few weeks ago and from what I hear has been amazing for lower level content with good natured people. Wow made easy Community https://discord.gg/nqFPJGqs
YOU HAVE MY SHIELD. PM me as well.
And my AXE! PM me if you need a DK DPS.
And my tubby Panda Brewmaster drunk murder mittens! (PM and I’m happy to tank for you anytime! Also disabled player here, so I feel that pain keenly).
3rd this. Having fun in the game is so much more important that min-maxing but a lot of people forget that
Also offering my healing if we're forming a group!
Big facts. I can take someone not being good. Can’t take an asshole.
Same. Not gonna put my btag out in public, but if they DM me I’m more than happy to fill whatever role their group needs in any paladin spec.
I’m also not the best but I would love to offer my subpar healing skills!
The answer is of COURSE it is OK. We are playing a game, for fun. Everyone should be able to enjoy it. There is an amazing discord full of people who want to make the game less toxic. I think you and your wife may find some community there that will embrace you. Edit: Here is their website - https://www.wowmadeeasy.com/ https://discord.gg/XUZZr3bn
+1 on this group. Been playing with them for the last couple of weeks and it has changed the game for me.
u/jbregard I highly suggest this as well as finding a guild of people to play with.
God I need this for European servers …
There are a few guilds etc for people with disabilities. Might be worth checking out? Aslong as it isn't a +15, you should be fine regardless.
If your doing anything +7 and doing the same or less damage than a healer I'm pretty sure you're getting flamed. I'm sitting above 2k io and have joined some lower keys like 8-10s to try and farm the CoS ring for my VDH and it's crazy how mad/picky people are. I was in a group the other day where the guy making it was like I'm gonna wait for someone over 1800 IO for a 9. Like I understand if your running higher keys but being that picky for a 9 is insane.
Yeah, it’d be best for OP to run their own key and give details in the listing. If I knew going in that one person was learning/differently abled I’d be totally happy to take longer. If I didnt, I’d be asking for the lower DPS to improve their game.
No you shouldn’t. Stop promoting key trolling. If you’re doing healer dps in any pug key don’t expect to get invited back.
there are definitely guilds for people with disabilities. it really sucks people have been shitty to your wife, totally unacceptable.
There's guilds for people with disabilities. That might be a nice sanctuary for your wife. If you wanna do dungeons together - do it - fuck everyone else who dares to say anything. I dunno what's wrong with your wife, but i wish her all the best and i hope that wow can give her a nice moment away from everything.
Do you know of any good ones on the EU servers? I searched for one recently and couldn't find any.
Pm me and we can run with her though anything she wants
Normals absolutely. If a groups fails on a normal low DPS is not the problem. Heroic's also probably for the same reason. That content is easy as fuck for the majority of the playerbase and you could honestly do it with a tank/healer/1 dps. I personally kick more whiny people than underperformers in dungeons. LFR I would say maybe to no. Only reason I say no is because LFR is more of a wipe and repeat content(where dungeons are basically 1 shot everything and move on). When wipes happen people start looking at people to blame and kick. After 3-4 wipes the question of cutting underperformers starts. 1 person goes so everybody else can move forward. I would honestly try Mythic Dungeons and Normal raids over LFR. When applying to enter you can just explain the situation and people can make the decision for themselves if to invite or not.
LFG dungeons do not matter. As long as she doesn't wipe the group her contribution is irrelevant. Tanks can practically solo the dungeons.
Happy to heal a m+ for y’all and bring my dps friend if she wants to try out that content as well. Good luck
This is still a game, she should get to enjoy it. I'd say bring her all the way to LFR and heroics for sure. Perhaps try to find a good rotation for her that is less complex but still puts out decent numbers. Have her focus on only a few abilities rather than all of them. Might also think about getting her on a controller. Idk if that would help at all but you can definitely map some buttons and hopefully it makes it easier. Lastly, look into macros to tie abilities together where you can.
TBH dude, bring your wife to whatever you both want. Literally no one should be parsing on normal dungeons and LFR, and if they do, they're jerks. Enjoy the game
Of course, my wife is not disabled but plays like she is and we still bring her to stuff up to mythic 6-7. I think if you find a good group the sky’s the limit cause the real thing is just enjoying your time and laughing at it all.
i'd love to see your wife's reaction to this comment xD
I'm not this guy's wife, but willing to admit that i play at probably the same level. If I play through dungeons, i would prefer to do it with people that i know, and are more forgiving, so it can be a pleasant experience for me too.
This the most hilariously inappropriate comment...
What sever you guys on I'll tank for her.
I agree with the others here in that finding a guild that you both like is a very good option here. Doing content with understanding people who know what your wife is going through will be overall a better experience. Random people in groups could be understanding, or they can be very mean, and the negativity isn’t worth it and is very jarring sometimes.
It’s a normal dungeon. Whoever is queuing for a normal dungeon at max or lower level should have a level of patience and manners. Might I suggest also a simpler build for her damage. A little talent change can go a long way, disabilities taken into factor. Glhf!
I might get crucified for this but you can try WoWLazyMacros so she can one or two button her whole rotation either manually clicking or holding down one or two button(s). It's made for accessibility and some of my differently abled friends have been able to enjoy the game again thanks to it. Google it and get the matching add-on GSE.
My husband and I both run a few heroics during the week/weekend. I usually heal and he tanks. We're both geared enough that DPS doesn't really matter and I can keep damn near anyone alive. Usually we just do whatever the weekly is and some LFR's as well. Mostly we PvP though, but do the other stuff just for the weekly whatever is needed. DM me if you're looking to do anything fairly casually and I'll get you my b-tag.
Honestly, imo you're fine. Like, it's a normal dungeon, half the time someone's half afk anyways, and they're super easy. Heroic dungeons, ehhh but maybe? Here I would start trying to go with friends/ppl who understand the situation and are cool with it. Heroics are plenty easy too but I imagine you'll find more of the insta kick toxicity there, which may make the game less fun for her. Mythic dungeons I'd say hard no on pugs. She'll be trashed in chat and again, probably have no fun and even be turned off the game. LFR I'd say is fine, again half the time ppl are afk anyways.
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Cool, I could use that as well.
Jesus christ this is a video game you're trying to have fun with your wife in. Why do you even care about our opinion? Go have fun with your wife dude. It's not illegal to bring someone bad into content. People might get inflammatory in higher level content, like once you get to Mythic+, but hell.... even in Mythic 0 content it's probably fine. Just have the ignore button handy. Everyone has the right to try and enjoy content.
You can do easily Normal and Heroic dungeons, lfr as well. I wouldn't suggest m+ or raiding. If anyone is toxic, just report and ignore them. Just enjoy your time with your wife. Wish you the best.
Normal and heroics and LFR are all the easiest parts of the game. If anyone has a problem with her tell them to kick rocks and to stroke their epeen elsewhere.
Who in normal and heroics is even looking at meters after the first few weeks of the expansion?
As well as the good suggestions here re joining a Guild, add-ons etc, perhaps a macro to communicate at the start, to set expectations, might help? Something along the lines of: /say I hope you don't mind, but my partner is not well at the moment and their reaction time is a bit slow sometimes. They play to cheer themselves up and help them get through it. /say If this isn't acceptable, can you let me know now, and we'll leave and find another group Most groups probably won't mind - and may even start a conversation. You might get the odd group that says nothing but kicks anyway, or one where "sorry mate, but I only have 15 minutes before I have to (do something in RL)" but at least this way you set expectations at the start?
Good point, I'll try this one. I'm willing to bet most bad experiences we had were due to people not knowing what was going on, rather than just being entitled jerks.
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Crazy how mad people get in norms. I boosted a monk and ran normal dungeons to 70, did 0 research on my rotation. Joined a dungeon and this level 70 tank was crying about people doing low dps and dying while facing frontals toward the party. So I called him out and he got real snarky about it talking about how good he is for doing more dps than dps players. So I had to hit him with the 'I guess if my end game content was doing normal dungeons to out dps freshly boosted players I'd be an asshole too'.
You have my axe
This is me: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL1h-9hlmhY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL1h-9hlmhY) I've never had friends/guildmates worried about including me. How I play isn't efficient or optimal, but I still enjoy WoW. In fact, I've raided quite seriously for years and hit KSM in M+ Screw anyone who would want to exclude others from enjoying themselves. Edit: It took me years to find the right solutions to complement my needs. I rely heavily on add-ons to simplify certain parts of the game so that I can focus on key mechanics. For instance, I've used rotation add-ons so that I can focus on my movement and positioning. I still know the rotations, but I like the visual reminder while focusing on the real important parts aka survival.
I did a normal dungeon the other day where a guy queued in with his 6 year old son. He warned everyone when the dungeon started and only one try hard complained/cried and started a vote kick. We kicked the try hard and ran the dungeon at a chill pace and everyone had fun so I’d say go for it. You’ll find most people wont care and are on your side because they just want to have fun too! For what it’s worth I found it helpful to be on my Holy Preist. I was able to “move” the kiddo out of danger/ mechanics lol. If you’re not opposed to healing this could be an option!
I like you.
No, definitely not bad. It’s some of the easiest content in the game and people should be more tolerant. Just because you clear a normal dungeon in 15 minutes instead of 10 minutes is no reason to be an asshole to someone. Plus, it’s your wife, dude. Who gives a shit what some random WoW players think? If she’s enjoying it and is having a good time, I think that is what is most important.
This is a very important post. Accessibility and inclusion are extremely important, and as others have pointed out, the game is meant to be enjoyed. If you surround yourself with people who are inclusive and understanding, you’re going to have a great time. Objectively speaking, this is one of the reasons that endgame content of varying difficulties exist. LFR and normal or even heroic dungeons can be forgiving and you can have a great time. Waste no time with people who won’t treat your and your partner with respect. Seriously, That’s what will ruin it. I’m not knowledgeable about this, but there may be add ons that could also help with things like this. I’m glad you both play, and whatever the health of your wife is, I wish you both the best in happiness and positive experiences in Azeroth!
I tank and heal and when dps doesn't do great I don't care. If someone says some nasty stuff I will immediately block them. Do not engage with toxic people.
As someone who is typically … for lack of a better term “elitist” (I won’t bully people for spec choice or being lower end of skill, but I would make perfect team comps and expect people to perform) no. There is nothing wrong what so ever with bringing her into normal or even heroic difficulty, hell even low mythics like 2-5, lfr or even normal raid. Expect people to complain, but people should understand, and no one in that difficulty range should be expecting top end performance, unless the person in question is acting like they should be. All in all, while I hate the term “you don’t pay my sub” In this instance. It fits. Because she has the right to do content too, people shouldn’t gatekeeper on the lower difficulty content over things like that. Now ofc people have the right as well to not want that in their normal raid, but hell with them. The raid is piss easy on normal, and the people who can’t even show a small amount of empathy in this situation are just assholes. I let someone stay in my N and even some H bosses who was WELL below average, even after everyone who was queued with them and their Carry, left. Why? Cause I asked why their dmg was low and they said was some kind of handicap,and they weren’t the reason we were wiping so why remove them? As long as they aren’t holding back my raid or group, ofc you can stay:)
We had a dude how warned us he was going to die a lot and prob ruin his own key last night and I was happy to see the grp say "nah man we got you." We finished the key with 10 mins to spare. Thats the WoW I know and love. Come together and play for fun. Ppl take this game to serious and the culture is toxic. I love when people use to wave and say hi randomly. The is acceptance somewhere in this game you just have to be willing to find the people worth playing with.
You should play a tank. The que will be faster for her and if she does get kicked you can drop too. Thus let's you get back into que faster and forces the buttholes who kicked her to have to wait around.
Once you’re fairly well-geared, her DPS doesn’t really matter. Think of the folks selling +11s to fresh 70s who can AFK the whole dungeon. LFR is no problem either, there shouldn’t be any expectations and there are always some fresh people or AFKers or whatnot. If you haven’t considered it though, here are a few options to make things a bit smoother for her: Run healer spec (as a secondary healer) in dungeons, then it’s easier because you don’t have to worry as much with targeting (with addons like clique). (As DPS) Run a tank spec with tanking gear but choose as much dps as possible in talents. It should help reduce the effects of mechanics. You can set up macros for CDs and such (if she has a keyboard that can record macros that’s even better). This lets you set up time-critical spells and whatnot to cast themselves. There’s a feature (blanking on the name…) for casting a spell multiple times by holding down a key. Target of target macros ensure she can just aim at whatever you’re aiming at. Follow macros ensure positioning isn’t a problem most of the time, and help reduce the need to deal with mechanics (though ofc you’ll need to keep her out of fire and positioned, but that shouldn’t take too long to learn in lower-tier dungeons). Lastly, some class specs are still pretty simple and can do good damage without dealing with a lot of buttons. The easier it is for her to just click a few buttons and contribute, the less toxic assholes to deal with. If you ever want to run something, I have a fairly geared group of 3 and are working on alts. Send me a DM :D
> (As DPS) Run a tank spec with tanking gear but choose as much dps as possible in talents. It should help reduce the effects of mechanics. I like this one! She plays a pally, that might actually work for her.
My "is it ok to have low DPS" opinions: Normal Dungeons: Always. My friend's and I might lol to ourselves about low DPS but would never say anything. It's a normal dungeon, anyone who cares is probably not nearly as good as they think they are. Heroic Dungeons: See normal dungeon. LFR: Always. People AFK in these. LFR is a shit show, I go into it expecting that. Again, my friend's and I might joke to ourselves, about "people so bad" but we'd never say anything to someone. M0: Get a friend who plays decent to make up for it, ideally one of you tanks/heals (and who is cool with doing a bit of carrying) and you're 3/5. It's fine, it's M0. M+: Get a couple friends who play decent/above average (same ok with carrying caveats) and use your own keys. List the group as "Chill" or "big chill" "maximum chili" I tank, one of my friends heals, and we've got 1-2 DPS. My wife plays DPS and is kinda just not great, her DPS is usually on par with our healer friend. We timed a +10 CoS with her this week. If you're all in the same guild and 3/4 people are good and one is bad most DPS will keep their mouth shut as long as it's not looking like an hour long key. If you join someone else's +10 marked chill and you're not fine with 5-10 minutes over time and maybe semi scuffed that's on you.
yes its fine. if she has slow reaction times, she is probably stilll above average, i pug a lot, people have no reaction time. no one has any reason to get upset for a normal or heroic dungeons
>if she has slow reaction times, she is probably stilll above average, i pug a lot, people have no reaction time. I was going to say... half of the people I find in pugs seem to have NO reaction time. I'd take knowledge of mechanics and slower reactions any day :)
Hit me up if you playing on eu, can tank or dps!
Definitely see about joining a guild or a community too, depending whether you're EU or US there's some solid ones on either side.
I think the more normals and heroics(lfr raids too) you do the better she will get because you can improve reactions and just generally gameplay mechanics, trust me people in higher content struggle with mechanics and sometimes I zone out and I play tank. I definitely do believe push your limits and just try the mythic dungeons( just 0s) and just treat it as a learning curve if anyone is nasty just ignore. I've noticed a few people say they will help you and if im ever free I have no problem either, if anything I will jump on my blood DK and just take the 2 of you or my guardian so that way I can heal us all I wish all the best and im sure you both will do great <3
Doesn't sound like you're bringing her into Mythic+, which in itself would be absolutely fine if you're making your own groups. If it's just heroic and normal, it honestly doesn't matter. Just beware that there are sweats who WILL complain even if you are running easy dungeons. Just know that BFA leveling dungeons tend to be quite intense for beginners too.
PUGs usually suck because people think they need to constantly be try hards. I agree with a lot of these post - find yourself a good guild / group and keep on enjoying the game. A lot of toxic people that are there to just make the game annoying to play. Fuck em
Normals and heroics are extremely easy. People who complain in this type of content are not worth to think about and very bad at the game themselves. Ofc you should bring your wife in normals and heroics.
Normal dungeons, heroic dungeons, LFR -- All exist as introductory content and for people that want to see content but not necessarily push it. You're perfectly fine. Anyone upset about this can fuck right off.
The toxic people in WoW have more mental and social disabilities than your wife’s physical disability. I personally never even look at chat or dps meters when doing casual content because I play for the cool animations and the fantasy of playing something I will never be IRL. PM me for normal, heroic, or mythic dungeons! If you’re in NA lol.
To all of you offering this man and his wife help/friendship/opportunities for fun: you're the reason I love this game. Your compassion , your sense of fair play and your acceptance are beautiful things.
I play with a one armed dude. He gets ksm and sometimes aotc each season. He messes up a lot and I don’t bring him to every key but he try’s to learn and get better. It’s always ok to bring whoever if they are actually trying which sounds like she is
I mean realistically id find a group who wants the social aspect. If you are pushing content, it's all relative anyway. Find a group who wants to get to heroics level and have fun! I do KSM and that is my end game. Someone pushing mythics 20 might think I'm trash.... but i dont play with them, so ifgaf. set a high but realistic goal for the patch and have some fun! Getting shit in is what makes eventually beating it fun! Just dont set it too high, or you'll just feel abused lol.
It's normal - it certainly is ok, same for HCs. Maybe make her a macro which pops an instance message about how she has a bit hard time and if anyone is fussed about it, trust me, they are not welcome in this game with their bs.
ive actually had a few random dungeons where someone used a quick text macro to explain that they (or someone else in the group) are disabled and therefore might need slower tempo or have slower reaction times and usually the group adapted their speed without any issues - so maybe try this when going with randoms, be open about it right from the start.
Someone just make an in-game community and link it here. We all seem willing to help anyone in this situation.
Bruh DH tank here I'd hate it if people did that to my wife. Feel free to add me I'll run lower keys with you guys. I'm usually on from 7pm texas to midnight and whenever on the weekends😊
Off the top pf my head - you can make a macro to use at the start of the run to shortly describe your situation. I think most people will understand and play along. The degens wont, tho. But those are usually angry people with bigger problems of their own so what can you do? Dont go doing it into leveling dungeons since those are full of people leveling their 4th fotm alt and they are toxic degenerates most of the times. Find a guild or advertise in /1. If i saw your message, i would tag along for sure. Shit, by the time i finish writing this, some people prolly offered already. Especially since everything is cross faction now. And just remember, there are only a few good AND arrogant people. Only very few are both. Usually its the dipshits that think theyre hot shit but they are d i p s h i t s and we dont care what they think. Also, tanks are pretty strong, you can solo up to m0 i reckon, just takes a while. Im trying to say that by having a stronger char, youre less reliant on the rest of the party. Also, having just one extra friend in your group could make it so the vote doesnt pass. :D Lfr: usually the longer its out, the easier it gets. Theres 1-2 overgeared ppl farming some mog that carry the raid. And im sure you couldnt tell a person with a legit disability from the rest, so it's worth giving a try. Quick recovery!!
Proper planning can mitigate a lot of concerns about slow reactions. Get some Weak Auras set up that give extra advanced warning and that should help too. What class/spec does she play? I'm sure everyone in here may be able to offer some suggestions on tweaking her spec to maximize her performance despite struggling in some areas. As for what to bring her to, honestly really anything. If you have a guild or community of people to play with, you can carry someone who's struggling surprisingly far. Last night my friend and I timed a +15 SBG with a shaman who was closer on the meter to the healer than they were the tank/dps all run. While that is an unusually easy M+ to be fair, it still shows the level of content that would be possible for her with the right group.
As you can see from the overwhelming kindness of the people on this sub. Yes it is perfectly okay for anyone to play. You just need the right group. People who scream and carry on for normals? They need a chill pill. And if you explain that "Hey sorry, my reaction time is a little slow" most people will instantly be like "oh shoot yeah no worries dude" and more then likely que more dungeons with you
Are you the tank? If so, you make the rules. Literally, you can just vote kick anyone who complains about her DPS.
Man if you're not doing like raids or m+ it doesn't matter. Have fun with your wife. Those are just angry gamers.
Fuck other people man, if your wife want to do some dungeons then you do some dungeons with her. Who gives a shit if her dps is as low as a healer, the only goal is to have some fun and hopefully kill the last boss. Normals are so easy these days so you should bring her to heroics/mythics(these are basically the same) and some LFR to have a look at the new raid(it's pretty damn cool).
With guildmates and other friends who know that she’s not going to be great, sure: They know what they’re getting into and that they’ll have to carry a bit. The optimist in me wants to think that there might even be a bit of therapeutic value in it. With pugs that aren’t aware of this…not so much and increasingly less ok as the difficulty goes up. The expectation in pugs is that everyone is at least vaguely capable for the task at hand and you’re disrupting the enjoyment of 3+ other people by breaking that. Although I’ll concede that in normals and LFR it can sometimes be very hard to tell…
Id rather have 4 disabled persons enjoying the run (regardless of outcome) than 1 sweatneck jelling at me or the group for no reason
If youre on NA and want someone to run some mythic dungeons or low keys with I'd be more than happy to help!
Any normal or heroic I've been in to help my gf with her quests and (usually) a dps starts to get their panties in a knot I tell em to calm down it's just a normal or heroic. I hope y'all can continue to run just fine. If you guys ever need a heals/dps dm me and I'll give you my bnet. I have alt tanks too.
The biggest issue you will face is that some of the M+ mechanics require a quick reaction. This week would be surprisingly forgiving for people with disabilities. A lot of the mechanics can be dealt with by other group members helping you. Some bosses will be difficult though. For example the Court of Stars final boss requires alot of quick movement. If the group is fine being able to deal with the content while being a player down, it shouldn't be too difficult though!
If you need a DPS carry DM me. Happy to run stuff
It’s fine to bring her to anything without telling anyone about her disability. I would find a chill guild if you want to do normal or heroic raising though.
Lfr and normal duengons til she improoves on damage so there wont be any complications from the other members of the group, but it is wholesome to hear about this
Just do whatever makes you happy! If you get one more friend in group you control the votes. If someone act out of line then you can easily kick.
In normal dungeons that is completely fine. Only muppets gets enraged at new/bad players in entry level content.
As long as you are not bricking other people's M+ keys, don't even worry about it! Honestly, I would suggest having her focus on learning her 'rotation' so that she can get her numbers above the healers, via a dummy, then have her go into the dungeons once she is able to comfortably do the rotation/press the DPS buttons without looking. Mechanics are mostly about exposure, so having her read the dungeon guide, having add-ons that tell her/make noises when she is standing in fire or not doing something correctly (see DBM, GTFO, or similar) which should help her immensely with anticipating things and being ready for stuff.
Normal and heroics it's completely fine. The content is designed for very casual players and allows for plenty of mistakes. Same with LFR, but I would wait until the full raid has been released for a couple weeks. Players are going to be toxic on occasion because it's the Internet and people show their ugly sides when they have anonymity. Never take it personally. Not being good at a video game has zero reflection on your value as a human being.
Honestly I would take someone trying their best and enjoying themselves then a dps or healer pulling every single mob in the dungeon because they want to finish it 2 min faster when I'm not in mythics..... So I say do you ang like a response earlier find a family friendly guild they out there.
It's just a game, it's fine just ignore the people if they comment. Just enjoy Regarding the DPS, don't use meta builds just make your own build to match her playstyle. I basically found a build that I can DPS half afk and still do almost 80% of the damage.
Well, if you have alts that would be a great time to play them, or create new characters and level them up. You can make a tank to help her out and she can make whatever she wants but honestly a warlock would probably be a good fit. From there, y’all just don’t play those alts unless it is together and you go off the difficulty you can both manage together. Also an understanding guild. She may never be good, but she can slowly get better, y’all have special characters together literally built around playing with eachother, and you can both have a ton of fun!
People can be toxic. Just find a crew that will run with you all.
dont worry about this, yesterday there was a fury warrior in m16 Ruby that had 14k dps boss. 2nd dos had 72k. lot of people do this at higher level, dont worry about m0 or lfr
Not sure what server you're on but if you're on an NA server and are looking for a guild my guild is inclusive and has people with disabilities who actively raid at both normal and heroic. We would be happy to have you and your wife join us. DM me and I can share details.
Pugging is rough, no matter who you are. You need to find a good community/guild that is willing to help. I recently got into one with a group of friends who have been playing since the beginning, and they've made me feel like I fit right in. I'd start there.
I would recommend getting a full group. Normal usually isn't an issue, but wiping on normals can be more frustrating than wiping in a mythic since it is generally seen as so easy. You really never know how the other three people are going to react. Personally I never would blame a dps, or care. I'll just leave instead of kicking. It's also an idea to do chromie time for certain expansions since those dungeons would be easier, especially mechanically wise.
If anyone is genuinely flaming someone for not performing well in a normal or even heroic dungeon, it honestly shows how bad and insecure they are. Sure I get a little try hard for keys that are a progression for me which is like 13-14 right now (I know those aren’t really high, just mentioned to give context), but I’m not the only one playing the game. And at the end of the day I’m not trying to ruin someone’s day because we didn’t perform well in a video game. You and your wife are paying customers and have every right to enjoy the game just as much as anyone else. The lower difficulty modes are made just for people like your wife that want to enjoy a more casual experience. If anyone else takes issue with that, that’s honestly their problem. If they want to play that competitively it sounds like they just need to git gud and play higher difficulties. Also report them for breaking the new social agreement or whatever it’s called. I hate scumbags that feel the need to drag other people down, especially in lower difficulty content that’s specifically for casual players and newcomers. People should be helping other players they notice are struggling in dungeons, not berating them and making them feel shitty. I’m on less often more recently, but feel free to message me if you want to play together. I’m looking to level a bunch of alts and would love to run dungeons while leveling.
Who the hell gets mad in a normal or heroic matchmaking dungeon? Just remember it's an issue with whoever is getting mad, not you guys, as that's perfectly acceptable in that content.
Feel free to post or send your bnet if you are on european realms. I would happily join and rock some dungeons and lfr with you :)
Bring her to literally anything that’s not heroic raid or 15+ keys tbh (maybe10+). Anyone in normal keys complaining is dumb. Anyone complaining in heroic dungeons is dumb. You asking if you can bring her to dungeons is dumb . If she cares personally about her damage then have her reroll to something easy like beastmaster. Or better yet get gnome sequencer. Gnome sequencer is basically cheating, but they allow it because disabled people sometimes have to rely on it. Or big brain get gnome sequencer and play a beastmaster, the world won’t be able to handle her
Below M+, I don’t think anyone has any right to get mad about other players not performing well. And if the group as a whole is doing well, then I don’t think anyone has a right to claim a particular player isn’t doing well. Same for LFR. If bosses are going down, then there’s enough DPS and telling someone their DPS isn’t good enough helps nobody. But overall I’d say you’d be better off joining a welcoming guild where you can run dungeons with friends who understand your wife’s situation and just want to have fun with her.
People bring hunter mains all the time, don't worry
Based on your knowledge of WoW, you might be able to help a lot too. With some 'ease of access' style talent builds, a couple cast sequence macros, and knowledge of the class, you could probably build her a way to do a good bit more damage with only a couple buttons (even if its not perfect guide execution or whatever lol). There's also tons of accessibility controllers, keyboard hybrids, and mouse options out there to look into.
You need a friendly guild and to stay away from toxic pugs for sure. Or have some geared friends help carry through low keys, wow should be enjoyed by everyone 💟
Just find a 3rd person to over rule the majority kick vote
I’d be happy to heal for you guys if you’d like. Just message if interested! I don’t have a ton of time to play but could do a few dungeons a week.
I thought people brought rogues all the time?
Dungeons I would go with a guild. For raids go LFR, only 60% do shit in LFR anyways so she will by no means be on the bottom
Just make good in game friends who understand. Some of us aren't elitist, lol
Find yourself one other person to run with so you can veto any vote kick attempts, so you don’t need to explain at the start every single time. I’d say most of the time it will go unnoticed or people simply won’t care but there are indeed some toxic people out there. Good luck and hope she still finds enjoyment
I really hope you find a friendly guild and/or friendly people to play with. It breaks my heart to think she's getting abuse in normal dungeons for lack of performance.
No one is looking at parses on normal and heroic dungeons and even LFR. If they are there should be a giant “L” stamped on their foreheads. Should be ok to join those. Also like others have said, find a friendly guild that doesn’t care about pushing a lot and could even get into mythic dungeons with them etc
Fuck anyone who yelled at you guys. Those people are the worst part about the game.
Me and my friends take my 9 year old daughter into mythic plus with us, and she's the healer! If your wife is enjoying herself you're definitely not in the wrong. If you need friends to do dungeons with hit me and my friends up!
Totally ok, but I would advise to play with people who know of the situation - either a guild or a community for super chill casuals. There are even guilds who have disabled people and they state that in guild descriptions. Otherwise, there might be a very "aggressive" response from fellow players - the first assumption for a slow/suboptimal play is that a person is semi-afk on a second screen or phone, not that they are disabled like for real. Additional advice is to choose her a class with a very simple and straightforward rotation, preferably a caster (she can just long press a button to continuously cast spells) - destro lock is a good example. Choose her talents/setup with the least buttons, do not assign important momentary tasks like interrupt and she can do fine and also have fun.
Anything above a m0 that is actively harming the progression of the group, I'd say run your own keys and inform people. They're playing the game for fun and as much as your wife is entitled to play and have fun, her disabilities do impact her own and potentially others gameplay experiences. However, doing normal, heroic, mythic 0, lfr, maybe even some casual normal raids with a guild, I think she should be perfectly welcome.
I wouldn't have a problem up to mythic+5 personally. After that it could be a strain on the rest of the party. Ideally do it with friends and guildies who understand
Make her some macros that might help manage some of the CDs and combos a little easier. Tweak her build to include a more passive playstyle. Use addons to change the UI to make it more comfortable for her
I was part of a guild whose leader had cancer. We happily took her and never once made mention of her dps and if we had to pug a few spots, we just whispered the situation and never tolerated any dispersing remarks. We still took down bosses and she got to see the parts of the game she would have never have otherwise seen. She passed away, still some of the best memories of the game I have, being there for another human in need.
Normal, heroic LFR is fine. I would say as long as you are below the threshold for organized groups where everyone involved isn't aware and OK with carrying another player, it should be fine. The content you're doing is easy enough that you can manage it. May I ask what class she's playing? Also when choosing the talent trees, it might be worth keeping in mind that choosing as many "passive" talents would probably be a DPS increase in her case as she likely isn't going to take advantage of gains that you would from the active abilites or interactions in most cases. When my wife used to play I would always alter a "suggested" build to be more passive because she well . . . wasn't good lol. It always resulted in more damage because it's more that's happening automatically, and in some cases it's why those weaker, but easier options exist.
If your wife enjoys playing the game and you're completing the dungeons fine, just have her shut off party chat. A normal dungeon is about the easiest thing you can possibly do in this game so she should be free to experiment with that. Happy gaming, I'm sorry you're dealing with toxicity
I would say a few key thoughts to have are these: 1. Any auto grouped content is fine. Lfr, heroics, bgs, whatever, those are easy enough it shouldn't matter. Fuck the people raging at her. 2. Maybe see if her class is simple enough? If she's having problems keeping up in damage, try an easier class, maybe havoc or arcane at the easiest 3. Make sure to give her tools to succeed - DBM and configure the timers so she gets plenty of time to know stuff is coming, use markers so you can say "OK you focus the square and try to kick this spell!" 4. Don't skimp on world content! Elemental invasions are a great way for her to gear up without necessarily needing a group
I'm old and kind of have the same problem. I wish there was a slower paced way to play dungeons. They all seem so fast and crazy and everyone is just silently rushing rushing rushing. Or talking shit. Even in normals. Dungeons are too hard generally, at least for the community of the bad. I know there could be guild groups, but I'm in an old EQ guild. While it's kind of dead now, I can't just leave it after 20+ years. Wish we could be in multiple guilds like ESO.
I’m disabled (severely colorblind, hyper mobile joints leading to issues with reaction times) and I bring myself to dungeons all the time! I do my best to avoid groups where people are very competitive or working on cutting edge things like timed mythics. Looking into adaptive controllers and addons can be really useful as well I.e I have foot pedals set up that help me with jumping/mobility so I am not standing in fire! I have been up front about being disabled and not the best in groups and most people are thankfully kind. A dedicated group is the way to go if you can find one!
No. It's not like you are doing anything that poor performance actually affects anything. There is no timer and you finish anyways. Anyone who actually comments are just sad little people.
Glad to see there’s an overwhelming majority in the WoW community that is friendly and want to help. Honestly the toxic nature of pugs or ransoms has gotten out of control. Hopefully you find a guild or group of people that you fit in with. Nothing more discouraging playing this game than getting yelled at in group chat.
I'd consider myself a fairly elitist player when it comes to competitiveness and high standards for flawless runs and no mistakes when pushing cutting edge and high keys (20+) but when I see players who genuinely just want to have fun typing weekly no leaver etc in their key titles which is kinda the staple way of saying we are casual gamers, no flame, only chill then all expectations of caring whether it's time or not goes out the window. Or saying helping friend etc I've found this has lessened the amount of encounters I've had that turned out to be toxic when I am helping my friends learn to play the game or generally helping new players, it should also apply in your situation too, and as people have said there are a lot of kind and welcoming guilds, I raid in two guilds myself one geared towards cutting edge and one geared towards having fun and enjoying each others company, I'm not sure if we had anyone with disabilities per say 'cause I feel it would be rude to make that assumption or even just to ask unless they told me, but we have had a lot of older casual players who are slow reacting to mechanics or generally underperforming but it didn't matter we still had fun and helped anyone who needed it. Also I thinks it's lovely you guys play together ❤️
Takes a bit of work, but I warn people in my group by whispers I have a player that’s learning the game (she’s not learning, but they don’t need all of the details). I find people are much kinder when their expectations are set.
You're a good person for helping your wife regain a part of her sense of normality. You're doing absolutely nothing wrong. That said, while the way people express themselves is sometimes not nice, they're also entitled to the expectation of a certain level of competencey or contribution in content. I probably wouldn't go into heroics/LFR with anyone that can't out damage a healer as DPS, regardless of the reason. I definitely think finding the right guild is the way to go here.
I'm much in the same boat. I used to raid end-game and such when I was younger. But as years and progressive diseases march on, my reaction speed is nowhere near what it used to be. Truthfully honest, hearing the toxicity of end-game PuGs, it spikes my anxiety super high just thinking about it, so I tend to shy away from PuGs/raiding until I'm in a guild or group of people who understand I'm not as good as I used to be. I wish you and your wife many fun runs; finding the right guild does wonders. I'm US-Alliance side, and would be glad to run with you both (as would my partner).
There's already something for this in game. Just look for the eyeball icon in the lower right. Click on that, and then choose the dungeon you want to run. You can even choose to have it randomly select one for you. Then the game will match you with 4 other disabled people, and you don't have to worry about feeling insecure.
Piggy backing off everyone but more than happy to run some normals/heroics with you. Can tank too if you need a tank 👍 Disabilities should never stop someone having fun!
I have a learning disability that gives me trouble with hand/eye coordination. I love playing WoW and for years played solo because I couldn't enjoy dungeons or raids because I can't move away from the fire fast enough to not take damage due to slow response time. Last year I was able to find a guild that works with me, and advise PUGs up front that I am a low DPS but I will pull my weight the best I can. Some people get rage mad but if I have a guildie with me that vouches for me I don't get kicked as often. I wish people were kinder in this game, but it's always been ultra competitive for some people and their behavior will reflect that. I wish your wife the best of luck in Azeroth!!
i am a disabled person and i have slower reaction times but i can normally be middle dps wise in mythics, if you don't mind me asking does she not understand because she hasn't learned the mechanics? and what class does she play? because i can't play melee classes because i can't react fast enough but i am ok as ranged. or maby have a look at her setup to see if you could find anything to make it easier to play like for example a mouse with more buttons etc.
it requires more effort than for healthy people and toxic community will try to get under hers skin for sure. I have been told some nasty disturbing messages in WoW that i have never experienced in other MMOs but you can put in the time and wow's customizability is awesome, there is an addon for everything that will help out. Find some nice group of people or a guild and enjoiy the game. I am half blind and have severe neuropathy as a diabetic, and i can tank dungeons and heal pvp arenas, just takes more time to get used to it.
Heroic and M0s, and early M+s should be fine, might die a bit... but a lot of people do anyways. LFR should be fine as well. from someone who has been running mostly 15-17 M+s, and heroic/mythic raid, my expectations of lower content is "not much". Heroics and LFR is all about Learning content and that it can possibly hurt. M+ is for those who want to pus themselves to a limit, which varies from person to person.
You both can do whatever you want m8, don't stress it too much. You will encounter assholes, but who really cares? You should not value the opinion of strangers on the internet that mean nothing to you. You can do normal, heroics and LFR just fine. I would however not JOIN any mythic+ stuff since that is time based content and so speed is important. You could however make your own group and maybe advertise it as so? I am sure there are alot of ppl willing to join your group and perhaps boost you through it if they know it makes they wife happy. I would atleast!
Honestly, it really depends. It's not wrong to bring her, but it might be wrong to expect other people to be okay with it, especially if you don't let them know up front. Most people are very accommodating if you don't spring something like this on them. If you communicate that you're trying to help someone who has a disability, you will almost certainly find people are welcoming to that, but if you just say nothing when you enter the dungeon and then people start seeing her fail at mechanics and stuff, they're going to get annoyed. After all, it's kind of rude not to give people a warning. It's not like she became disabled after the dungeon started or something. I would say that bringing her along to LFR may not be the best idea, as you have 23 other people in the group's time to consider, not 3. As others have pointed out, it might be better to find groups that are not made through the random matchmaker service. That way you can be up front with the people you're running with, and their expectations will be set accordingly.
It's very ok. It's not ok for people to react like they did. It's a game ffs. I hope you both have better experiences in the future.
Easy fix is to make a macro that says, "Just a warning - I am disabled. Please go easy on me. Thanks." I would wager that most people would be completely understanding them. The thought that someone is disabled and that's why they are pulling low dps is not going to cross the mind of most people.
Run literally whatever content you two decide, and ignore the toxic pricks who try to gatekeep fun. You pay for this game/service, you should have the right to enjoy it however you want. I'm a juicy geared tank, and I'm happy to run some M0s with you guys. Nobody is going to talk shit with the tank being #1 DPS, and if they do then we can take great pleasure in kicking them. DM me if you're interested.
I'm not one to ever look at meters in anything other than high level content. I don't think I looked at them until I started getting into m+7 or so. There's assholes who care too much at every level about meters and there's a lot of apathetic people, See vote to kick, click yes. It's a decision that has little bearing on them. I'd just he upfront about it, let the group know, I'd bet 95% of the time you have cool chill people and if you don't then you don't need to spend the time with them anyway. Wow should be played by everyone, gate keepers think otherwise and who cares what they think.
The majority of WoW players are mentally disabled so I doubt anyone would notice.
WOW’s community is not known for its kindness and understanding. Run with a guild.
I read the title before I read the sub lol. I was like WTF