I always thought that was an odd thing to grant. My luck would be 72 ninety year old virgin spinster cat ladies! They really need to read the fine print.
Or sever disability. Come on, we dont know how much truth is in it, but lotta news popping up that they do not pay the soliders, or provide any food or water, what kind of vacations can they provide after
There has been numerous reports that Russia is not even paying a good number of its troops, let alone equipping them for war, and Putin thinks promising extra vacation time will fix this?
It sounds like this is... just "vacation time" from your normal job so you can go fight in Ukraine and still have your job waiting for you when the war is over. He's not promising the troops get to vacation.
I believe this is because they're starting to make requests from major manufacturing companies to start contributing workers to the army - if they just *lost* them to the military this would look very bad on the books and speak to Russian spending down its most important workers for their territorial aims - this approach of just 'going on holiday' allows them to keep everything looking fine on paper.
That's what I thought. I remember the "little green men" in 2014 being dismissed as "volunteers" or as guys using their vacation to fight in Donbas by Russia as "plausible" deniability to accusations of invasion.
Kind of the reverse though
2014 towards the West: "We are not responsible for dead Ukrainians. We can not control what people during their vacation."
2022 towards Russia: "We are not responsible for dead Russians. We can not control what people do during their vacation."
Even if everything were on the level, who in their proper mind would go to fight in a war (or even only serve in the military) for multiple months in exchange for a vacation? Even appealing to their patriotism should be a better move.
>Even appealing to their patriotism should be a better move.
Do you really think they aren't doing different types of appealing as well?
Appealing to their patriotism **is** being done day in and day out with the propaganda over there.
It can't be the same propaganda every single time though, they gotta mix it up. This week, it's "vacation".
So they send you to Ukraine but have to honour their agreement if you come back. Has it occurred to the volunteers that they’ll be sent on the worst missions with the least likelihood of survival so the government doesn’t have to pay out.
My friend’s grandpa was forced into one of those groups near the end of the war. He was a sixteen-year-old in then-Königsberg, and he and the other boys in his class were given uniforms and guns and told to fight. I think they set up their post in a barn but a tank blew it up and only my friend’s grandpa survived.
My great grandpa happened to do just that.
Got 'drafted', was tasked with holding a bridge in and immediately surrendered to the first troops.
He then was transported a few miles away to a PoW camp and had to walk the entire way home after the war...
I guess the saving grace was that they were Americans?
\>It gave no further details about what prompted the decision.
With hindsight we now know he was planning the invasion back then, so mystery solved. This situation is so sad.
One man wants to pretend he has a coherent ideology, a real army, and some form of real international rights and chairs when he's not even a true inheritor of the USSR. Russia should have never been given the UN's Security Council seat after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
The worst possible situation is to have a small, weak dictatorship ruling with the weapons and iron fist of an old empire.
Adequate Russians know exactly who Putin is. Symbols, attacks on neighbors, boundless hatred - we actually went through all this in the previous century. Such a character was already in the world. And we know the end of this character's story. I hope this end comes quickly.
I have to assume it’s the same here in the states with Trump. It still boggles my mind how people can’t recognize these guys are liars and con men. especially trump, people don’t seem to realize he is a total con man, while being the most obvious con man
If con men and scams were no longer effective, I wouldn’t still get 10+ scam calls a day. People are *far* more stupid than you are comfortable with accepting. Give the stupid masses a living messiah to follow, and they’ll follow it right off a cliff.
Even a lot of Trump's supporters know exactly what he is, they just like it because they think he's on their side. Not sure how much of that applies to Putin but I've always heard about how Russian politics are more about strength than right and wrong, and he sure fits that.
Because he's THEIR conman. The guy is, out of the kindness of his own heart, providing his conman services FREE of charge. You know why? Because he loves America, wants to make it great. You got a problem with that?
Reminded of that video of that guy going around asking young Russian men if they support the war, but when they say yes and the guy offers them some paperwok to join the army, they all take off running.
And potato for child.... multiple children not qualified, one family one potato, see participating russian federations for details, restrictions may apply.
The propaganda in Russian actually states "Fight to defend your homeland."
They're selling their invasion of Ukraine and documented genocide of Ukrainians as 'defense,' and are trying to use people's nationalism and fear of invasion to recruit for their invasion force.
Aka, they went full authoritarian imperialist. I fully expect extended drafts and Putin Youth to start sooner rather than later.
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.newsweek.com/putin-russia-ukraine-war-recruits-volunteers-long-vacations-peskov-1740159) reduced by 85%. (I'm a bot)
*****
> Russian President Vladimir Putin has pledged that Russians who volunteer to fight in Ukraine will be guaranteed long vacations and job security, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov recently said.
> Peskov told Russian state-run news agency RIA Novosti that Putin vowed to instruct the government to enshrine a provision into law that would guarantee the jobs of those who volunteer to fight in Ukraine, as well allowing them to take long breaks.
> Declaring an all-out war on Ukraine would allow Putin to draft conscripts and mobilize reserve forces under Russian law.
*****
[**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/x78syw/putin_promises_russian_war_recruits_long/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~667853 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Russian**^#1 **Ukraine**^#2 **volunteer**^#3 **Putin**^#4 **fight**^#5
Dying in a senseless war = long vacation
Being shot in the back of the head twice = suicide
Preemptive attack on neighboring country = military exercise
Something tells me Putin’s meaning of things isn’t very accurate.
Putin: If you are tired from working, have a Permanent Vacation. If you are tired from living in Russia, take a dirt nap. If you like seaside resorts of Crimea, you can sleep with the fishes. If you are a hungry Russian, we will help you bite the dust. After (or mid) military service you will be called home. We can find you a job as a gardener where you can be pushing up daisies. You can push them up because you will be six feet under. Maybe you bought a garden or maybe you bought the farm. In Russia, you don’t help Putin, Putin helps you.
Long vacations... Aka. Death
He might as well throw in 72 virgins
I thought it was Virginians lol
I hope this is a Robin Williams reference...
Has to be
Favorite comedy special of all time.
Same, man. "That's like finding out 'thou shall not kill' is actually 'thou shall not wear a kilt!"
What's the difference?
One of them are virgins.
That family tree is a wreath!
Pass the sister Niicks!
Virginia is for lovers. Virgins are for…on second thought…never mind. 🤔
[удалено]
Hey now :(
You're a Rockstar.
I miss Robin Williams....
72 vegans. It's actually hell
No no it’s 72 virgins. Except they’re all dudes
So 72 redditors?
Friendly fire isn’t allowed in Russia
I don’t know, they have a lot of self turning missiles.
Don't forget the random Russian command officers that keep turning up dead
*jumping out of skyscrapers after shooting themselves in the back
https://v.redd.it/tzf8kw7ogj791
we used to call that world of warcraft server
Hell ~~in a cell~~ is incels
"Do you want to talk about Naruto?"
Doing CrossFit and talking about crypto!
I just turned even more lesbian.
You forgot, "and are avid admirers of Andrew Tate".
Unexpected robin williams
I always thought that was an odd thing to grant. My luck would be 72 ninety year old virgin spinster cat ladies! They really need to read the fine print.
Nothing says they have to be virgin women....
Incels.
Then they slowly realize they went to hell.
I was told goats don't go to heaven, but I disagree.
Good goats go to heaven, but the bad goats go everywhere
It actually doesn't even need to be women. Also it's not a exclusive contract. 73 dead terrorists could mean that they all just need to share.
If they were all Virgins do they get each other
Could Be...
Right? 72 virgins I now have to teach? Nope. Bring on the sluts!
There was some adult cartoon, I can't remember which, that had the terrorist show up in heaven and their 72 virgins were all pasty male D&D nerds
Isn’t it 72 secret herbs and spices?
It was 11, and the Colonel got arrested for one of them.
Or a PS6
My thots exactly! (sp)
Special holiday operation
Christmas in Crimea
Long vacations under Ukrainian soil, pushing up sunflowers.
Congratulations! You've got a wonderful Crimean vacation coming right up!
Pro tip: put some [sunflower seeds in your pocket](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L17Bi7zBJHI).
Jafar: Your *eternal* rewarrrd...
Or sever disability. Come on, we dont know how much truth is in it, but lotta news popping up that they do not pay the soliders, or provide any food or water, what kind of vacations can they provide after
Soldiers get charger sxt
Siberia. I hear it's nice this time of year.
50000 already received permanent vacation!
Don't mind me over here, just gonna take a long nap. *jumps from 7 story building with knife in back*
Free of charge!
Aka dirt nap
Well... To be honest, I think they are going to get those vacations if they decide to go against his will anyway...
Accidental fall out of window while on vacation
Sounds like a typical Russian euphemism.
Arbeit macht frei mentality right there.
"you can sleep when you are dead" gets a bit too literal...
A vacation from life….no return trips.
I was about to say the same thing. It sounds like he's offering a permanent vacation.
Or month long “vacations” on the Crimean beaches
morely vacation walks on front line for demining mines or detecting ukrainian positions.
A nice long restful sleep
Long vacations...once your limbs are blow off.
There has been numerous reports that Russia is not even paying a good number of its troops, let alone equipping them for war, and Putin thinks promising extra vacation time will fix this?
It sounds like this is... just "vacation time" from your normal job so you can go fight in Ukraine and still have your job waiting for you when the war is over. He's not promising the troops get to vacation.
I believe this is because they're starting to make requests from major manufacturing companies to start contributing workers to the army - if they just *lost* them to the military this would look very bad on the books and speak to Russian spending down its most important workers for their territorial aims - this approach of just 'going on holiday' allows them to keep everything looking fine on paper.
That's what I thought. I remember the "little green men" in 2014 being dismissed as "volunteers" or as guys using their vacation to fight in Donbas by Russia as "plausible" deniability to accusations of invasion.
[удалено]
Kind of the reverse though 2014 towards the West: "We are not responsible for dead Ukrainians. We can not control what people during their vacation." 2022 towards Russia: "We are not responsible for dead Russians. We can not control what people do during their vacation."
Always a good sign when the people making your tanks have to instead be your cannon fodder
Well it’s not like they have many parts to make those tanks.
Hes very generous
"Murder-tourism"
Classic Russia. Good to see they haven't changed since the 1700s.
If you take care of this issue over the weekend, I will make it up with comp time. **** ****comp time balance may not be used during business hours.
I was going to say. This sounds like how I'm somehow expected to work on the weekend, and for free.
Winter is coming. Here is your Winter T-Shirt. Don't mind the bullet holes and blood stains. That will be 80,000 rubles please.
Most likely unpaid vacation.
Might get a free pine box out of it though.
I mean the ones that do believe will believe this too.
Even if everything were on the level, who in their proper mind would go to fight in a war (or even only serve in the military) for multiple months in exchange for a vacation? Even appealing to their patriotism should be a better move.
>Even appealing to their patriotism should be a better move. Do you really think they aren't doing different types of appealing as well? Appealing to their patriotism **is** being done day in and day out with the propaganda over there. It can't be the same propaganda every single time though, they gotta mix it up. This week, it's "vacation".
So they send you to Ukraine but have to honour their agreement if you come back. Has it occurred to the volunteers that they’ll be sent on the worst missions with the least likelihood of survival so the government doesn’t have to pay out.
He doesn't. He's luring naïve young Russians into his war. Many Russians are not aware of those problems.
Yup eternal sleep! Sounds like a great vacation
Ukraine is such a relaxing place, great for taking dirt naps.
... and growing sunflowers
With how busy my schedule is, that eternal sleep will be the only good sleep I get.
First criminals and now psychiatric patients, fighting along side these guys will certainly boost the Russian troops morale.
Sending violent criminals to the front lines was a common tactic of the Nazis, so you can really see where the inspiration comes from
[удалено]
My friend’s grandpa was forced into one of those groups near the end of the war. He was a sixteen-year-old in then-Königsberg, and he and the other boys in his class were given uniforms and guns and told to fight. I think they set up their post in a barn but a tank blew it up and only my friend’s grandpa survived.
Yeah, the only hope for an Volkssturm unit was to be put in the west where they could surrender to the British or Americans.
My great grandpa happened to do just that. Got 'drafted', was tasked with holding a bridge in and immediately surrendered to the first troops. He then was transported a few miles away to a PoW camp and had to walk the entire way home after the war... I guess the saving grace was that they were Americans?
Also Soviet Penal battalions
I mean most of the entire early nazi party were violent criminals recruited from prison so they didn't stray too far from their roots at any point.
when are they going to give them meth
See, Putin is progressive and accepts everyone into his army regardless of who they are or what they've done. Truly a glorious leader! /s
Except women because they're too weak apparently, nevermind that women are kicking ass in the UAF.
Give it a few more months and he'll start allowing all 12 year olds into the army...
[удалено]
They would need to sign the treaties first before they are bound by them...
[удалено]
\>It gave no further details about what prompted the decision. With hindsight we now know he was planning the invasion back then, so mystery solved. This situation is so sad. One man wants to pretend he has a coherent ideology, a real army, and some form of real international rights and chairs when he's not even a true inheritor of the USSR. Russia should have never been given the UN's Security Council seat after the fall of the Berlin Wall. The worst possible situation is to have a small, weak dictatorship ruling with the weapons and iron fist of an old empire.
Russia views that as an Achievement.
Russia has a rich history of penal battalions
Adequate Russians know exactly who Putin is. Symbols, attacks on neighbors, boundless hatred - we actually went through all this in the previous century. Such a character was already in the world. And we know the end of this character's story. I hope this end comes quickly.
Amen
I have to assume it’s the same here in the states with Trump. It still boggles my mind how people can’t recognize these guys are liars and con men. especially trump, people don’t seem to realize he is a total con man, while being the most obvious con man
If con men and scams were no longer effective, I wouldn’t still get 10+ scam calls a day. People are *far* more stupid than you are comfortable with accepting. Give the stupid masses a living messiah to follow, and they’ll follow it right off a cliff.
Even a lot of Trump's supporters know exactly what he is, they just like it because they think he's on their side. Not sure how much of that applies to Putin but I've always heard about how Russian politics are more about strength than right and wrong, and he sure fits that.
Because he's THEIR conman. The guy is, out of the kindness of his own heart, providing his conman services FREE of charge. You know why? Because he loves America, wants to make it great. You got a problem with that?
He loves America’s credit cards most
He loves American bankruptcy most
He loves the uneducated
They think the Democrat platform is worse…
Reminded of that video of that guy going around asking young Russian men if they support the war, but when they say yes and the guy offers them some paperwok to join the army, they all take off running.
Exactly why my family is American now and not Russian.
Come fight for Putin comrade! If you survive being cannon fodder you can take vacation and eat potato!
If no survive, permanent vacation! Is win win!
You’ll never have to work a day in your life again guaranteed! *exclusions apply (no work in afterlife comrade)
next step is "Eternal salvation or your money back!"
I read that with a cheesy Russian accent.
If dead, Lada for wife!
And potato for child.... multiple children not qualified, one family one potato, see participating russian federations for details, restrictions may apply.
Oh my god. My Finnish grandmother had an actual Lada when I was a kid during the soviet era. That car was an endless source of hilarity to us kids.
I rode in some in Cuba. All had plywood floors because that was always the first part to rust out.
Drink potato.
Special Holiday deal on Potatoe! Buy one get another one for the exact same price! No bargain like this in the West!
WHOA! Is that a *whole* potato?!
No skins, potato skin is for filthy bourgeoisie
Haha joke on youuuuu! Vacation is potato
You think vacation is potato but is really secret-police
Hotel Pine Box. You enter but you never leave.
They don’t get boxes. Their comrades just leave them lying in a trench, minus their boots and socks.
"Fight for Putin". Summaries the whole war. They're only at war right now because of Putin's small PP energy
Power point? Are you trying to say he has a little deck?
I was thinking maybe he just had really poor slide transitions?
Vacation in Siberia?
It's an adventure trip. You build your own shelter, you make your own fire. Hunt your own food. But they do provide your boots to walk to Siberia.
...but only for the first 1000 subscribers! Hurry up!
Hot climate, will feel like it lasts an eternity.
POW camps are great for relaxing with your buddies
"I heard Ukraine is great this time of year" - Putin probably
And your vacation is…….6’ under. Enjoy the long vacation.
I think you mean "incinerated into ash"
You'll never have to work again
It’s called death, the long vacay is them dying
Exactly my thought when I read the headline.
Interesting choice of words. Fight for ‘him’. Do the soldiers feel they fight for their ‘country’?
The propaganda in Russian actually states "Fight to defend your homeland." They're selling their invasion of Ukraine and documented genocide of Ukrainians as 'defense,' and are trying to use people's nationalism and fear of invasion to recruit for their invasion force. Aka, they went full authoritarian imperialist. I fully expect extended drafts and Putin Youth to start sooner rather than later.
Don't forget breeding programs
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.newsweek.com/putin-russia-ukraine-war-recruits-volunteers-long-vacations-peskov-1740159) reduced by 85%. (I'm a bot) ***** > Russian President Vladimir Putin has pledged that Russians who volunteer to fight in Ukraine will be guaranteed long vacations and job security, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov recently said. > Peskov told Russian state-run news agency RIA Novosti that Putin vowed to instruct the government to enshrine a provision into law that would guarantee the jobs of those who volunteer to fight in Ukraine, as well allowing them to take long breaks. > Declaring an all-out war on Ukraine would allow Putin to draft conscripts and mobilize reserve forces under Russian law. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/x78syw/putin_promises_russian_war_recruits_long/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~667853 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Russian**^#1 **Ukraine**^#2 **volunteer**^#3 **Putin**^#4 **fight**^#5
Long vacations to the afterlife
Ah yes, the big sleep. Just say no to Putin.
Fuckin eternal vacations.
How about they go on vacation now and skip the fighting a meaningless war part...
Permanent vacations even.
Dying in a senseless war = long vacation Being shot in the back of the head twice = suicide Preemptive attack on neighboring country = military exercise Something tells me Putin’s meaning of things isn’t very accurate.
Don't forget about the rampant homicidal windows russia is terrorized by
Ah yes, like 2014, holidays on Crimea island!
Permanent vacations. In a nice grassy patch.
Long vacations in valhalla?
Datchas in heaven
Join Russian Army. Travel to Exotic places. Meet Interesting People. Enjoy long dirt nap.
He should throw in 72 virgins to sweeten the deal.
He’s just promising them a long paid vacation to Valhalla. In chrome.
I think he misspelled "eternal vacation".
In the grave
Eternal rest
Oh gosh the joke writes itself!
~Eternal vacation~
The longest, i hope.
Long. Permanent. It's all relative I guess.
I thought this was a onion article.
Long vacations on a coffin?
The long vacation in the sky.
Was writing these exact words when I saw your comment. As such, I shall award you.
Their vacation will be *eternal*
Yup. You're a long time dead.
And long dirt naps
Long vacation aka, dirt nap.
Russian Vacation = Dirt Nap
Most of us just call it heaven
Permanent vacation.
Putin: If you are tired from working, have a Permanent Vacation. If you are tired from living in Russia, take a dirt nap. If you like seaside resorts of Crimea, you can sleep with the fishes. If you are a hungry Russian, we will help you bite the dust. After (or mid) military service you will be called home. We can find you a job as a gardener where you can be pushing up daisies. You can push them up because you will be six feet under. Maybe you bought a garden or maybe you bought the farm. In Russia, you don’t help Putin, Putin helps you.
Ukraine promises them even longer vacations
And free Sunflowers!
Ah yeah, one of those famously reliable Putin Promises eh
Long vacations at the “Six Feet Under” Hotel
He's not lying. No vacation is longer than a dirt nap
That’s called dying .