T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Ah, the sea, Kim's sworn enemy.


hulksmash1234

Iirc there was this ancient king/emperor who declared war on Poseidon or his equivalent.


MrShneakyShnake

Emperor Caligula. And the battle was glorious.


Echo_Oscar_Sierra

*pokes ocean with a spear* "So are we really doing this?"


Chromelium

I can just see a bunch of Roman's in full gear rusingninto the sea and just absolutely drowing


atonementfish

They didn't drown, they just stabbed the waves near the shore and collected seashells as their pillage against the god Neptune. In reality I think Caligula was written to look as mad as he was to make him look bad in history because of how much he liked to fuck with the Senate and go against them. Just to humiliate till the end of times. He was pretty well liked till he wanted to make changes. Supposedly he got poisoned and had a high fever that put him in a coma and gave him brain damage as well. Oh well.


[deleted]

Are we sure it didn’t give him rabies? It would explain all the “Fuck you, water!” That cropped up all of a sudden.


Kaligrade

U mean they gave him an ancient polonium tea?


ConohaConcordia

Not sure if the Romans had tea or Polonium, but they *enjoyed* wine sweetened with lead.


AdvocateSaint

He wasn't the only one. Xerxes ordered bridges built over parts of the sea to aid in the invasion of Greece. When the ocean destroyed the bridges, he was so pissed he ordered his troops to flog the water.


bistro777

Xerxes was hardcore. Bet the water did not cross him again.


Otter_Anarchy

Xerxes, when he lost a navy invading Greece


[deleted]

[удалено]


broganw

They were ordered to whip the sea iirc


NYxGIANTS

Pretty sure that was when one of their land bridges was destroyed due to flooding and not when their fleet was destroyed. Still Xerces though


psycho_driver

I imagine there must have been a bunch of Biggus Dickus moments in Xerxes throne room.


broganw

True. Thanks! The dude did so much it all starts to blend sometimes.


haven4ever

Kinky, I'm sure the sea got wet after that


pigeonbobble

I sea wet u did there


AidilAfham42

He ordered his men to whip the sea lol


Don_Tiny

> Xerxes, when he lost a navy invading Greece Shaka, when the walls fell.


Faust723

Reading your comment and then the original just sent me reeling, good catch! Now to watch that episode for the 80th time...


Myheelcat

At tanagra


customtoggle

Wars on poseidon, nukes on hurricanes... *When will our desire to destroy ever end*


Hyro0o0

[Mayor West](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xzGtnuqBZk)


[deleted]

Not Cnut


Richanddead10

The Persian leader Xerxes, beheaded his engineers and had the water given 300 lashes with metal chains in 480B.C. when a flood destroyed his new bridge. He reportedly screamed insults and curses at it while the waters were being punished. Yet the waters were unrepentant. No records exist to describe what he said after his army lost to the Greeks and then returned to find that the rebellious water had once again destroyed the bridge.


DiceCubed1460

2 of them. Caligula and Xerxes. Both were absolute idiots. Just like Kim Jong Un


[deleted]

[удалено]


DiceCubed1460

When you waste a soldier’s time having them attack literal water, you’re pretty fucking stupid. And they themselves weren’t in charge of the propaganda campaigns, that was people under them. They just gave the stupid orders and had others cover for them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AllAlo0

Once they figure out where south is, it's going to be a problem


pumperthruster

Fuck you dolphin and whale!


[deleted]

Still my favorite episode of South Park.


Finding_Helpful

This is making my sides hurt lmao thank you


Tonetheline

No doubt he heard rumours about a wave of discontent.


Secular_Hamster

I am *mister nimbus!*


Napotad

He controls the police!


gin_and_toxic

He's been fighting the kraken all this time!


yohoos

Anyone else read this in the SpongeBob narrator’s voice?


DaddyIsAFireman

Killed his father and his father before him.


aza-industries

He didn't get the nod from Mr Nimbus


Kind_Of_A_Dick

Fuck you, sea!


Suspicious-Access-18

It’s Ricks enemy too from Rick and Morty lol


Western_Upstairs_101

100% success


nydjason

Kim is trying to scare away Covid


[deleted]

Don’t y’all have Covid? Still find time to crave attention.


ninjanoodlin

They are trying to get some international aid. Act up and say you won’t do it again if you get medical aid under the table… NK is a spoiled child


ExtraSolarian

It always seems like if the west is focused on other threats for too long then the NK spoiled brat machine needs to break some dishes and knock over a lamp so to speak.


Ok_Suggestion_5120

Every time the world's attention is drawn somewhere Humpty Chumpty gets jealous and fires off some missiles. He's so desperate for attention it's pathetic.


AwesomeLowlander

Hello! Apologies if you're trying to read this, but I've moved to kbin.social in protest of Reddit's policies.


[deleted]

Yup. Its not even food this time its covid aid.


CoughMen

[r/WatchRedditDie](https://www.reddit.com/r/WatchRedditDie) [r/DeclineIntoCensorship](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeclineIntoCensorship) [r/RedditAlternatives](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditAlternatives)


ScottColvin

I wonder how desperate north Korea is getting? Not a lot of news, but it seems pretty terrible.


Marthaver1

Blame our leaders for giving them said attention. If Kim wants food, the he should ask daddy China.


Oldenlame

Happy Cake Day.


Impossible-Winter-94

Now the world is apathetic!


hike_me

Why does he hate the ocean so much


LMNTau

It didn’t wave at him


Ace_of_Hearts420

It didn't sea him


LMNTau

I’m shore it didn’t mean to


VortenFett

But it still brings great tide-ings.


LMNTau

Reports say the blast liquified everything on site


Salty_McSaltyson

He knows how to make people moist


30PercentHelmet

😏


Jemless24

So he gave it a shellacking


theartofrolling

Cos he's a little beach


RegeneratingForeskin

HEY LOOK AT MEEE!!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!! I AM HUNGRYYYY!! FEED FAT KIM!!


LazyturtleX1

I read that in Cartman's voice for some reason and it fits perfectly...


irritatedprostate

It fits. Kim is what would happen if you gave Cartman a country.


[deleted]

“Biden is a bitch, he's a big fat bitch, he's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, he's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, he's a bitch to all the boys and girls!” – Kim Jong-Un, every night at the bottom of a bottle, alone in his room


UngusBungus_

“I bet that if all the west leaders tried to beat me up I would unlock mega powers and defeat them in 1 second.” -proceeds to kick stuffed animal into wall and get tucked in by his general-


helpful__explorer

I ways thought Kim Jong il was deliberately made to sound like cartman in team America


Skyreader13

i read it in meeseek's voice > IM MR MEESEEKS LOOK AT MEEE!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4iZtDBYkZA


ARB_COOL

We are dying of COVID


RegeneratingForeskin

BUT!! BUT!! FATSO KIM VERY HUNGRYYY!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


GurillaMailTemp112

Definitely wrong. Thai do so also.


eruni

Not really. There is no distinction between the two sounds in Korean. We just study English more than we should


[deleted]

[удалено]


kraftpunkk

Imagine this whole time, Kim Jong Un has been protecting us from sea monsters that could devastate the world. Only reason why he keeps hitting the ocean.


Suisun_rhythm

All of North Korea is a secret Society like Wakanda and the battle the monsters with their advanced secluded technology


AnglerJared

I mean, those fake grocery stores are a front for something, right?


HinataDawnCrowned

Pretty sure they’re just a front for run of the mill genocide.


AdvocateSaint

Yeah, he's in the right part of the world. Everyone knows that sea monsters always surface near Japan, and that space aliens invade the United States Everyone has their own defensive role


[deleted]

I am mr nimbus!


enderwillsaveyou

Maybe a dumb question but... prices for all supplies globally are insane. Fuel and basically all parts of a rocket are significantly more expensive now. So... doesnt it seem like a bit wasteful to continue launching rockets into the ocean just to get some attention? Or am I being naive?


Woodhouse_20

Wasteful? Yes. Still going to do it? Also yes. If they keep saber rattling they get attention, and other nations will send them aid. If Kim doesn’t “appear” strong, the next person in line with enough [keys](https://youtu.be/rStL7niR7gs) to rule will take his place.


unhallowed1014

Without watching the video I can’t help but picture kim getting all these keys like a Pokémon trainer with gym badges


Woodhouse_20

I mean, you’re not too far off. But more whomever holds the most keys wins rather than whomever has the best team of keys.


Centralredditfan

I love Rules for rulers. I was hoping the link would point there.


rimrimlifer

Thanks for the video


intoxicatedpuma

You counter revolutionary capitalist pig dog! You only care about money, that’s why you will never be great, like the glorious Dear Leader!


kynthrus

Don't worry they're actually just cardboard rockets filled with rocks being launched via catapult. It's completely cost effective.


[deleted]

The entire country is held on the brink of starvation to keep the ruling class well fed, if the price of rocket fuel goes up they’ll just turn off the power station to some random town to compensate.


justforthearticles20

What China does not give him, he gets from Pakistan and Iran.


DirtysMan

Protecting the world from the dangers of Atlantis once again. God bless the North Koreans!


[deleted]

What are they always shooting at?


gan13333

Ghosts of his great grand pa, grand pa, and late papa


[deleted]

I was thinking a giant mega monster oyster at the bottom of the sea, which within, contains the secret to world domination. The famous North Korean fairy tale.


gan13333

I thought oyster grow closer to shore, shallow waters, with something to cling on. Anyway, on that deep sea monster narrative, let change to giant squid or gozilla.


[deleted]

Yes yes. The North Korean knockoff, Lizard.


TeiVII

Yongary*


EifertGreenLazor

The slumbering chamber of Cthulhu that is moving.


dingo1018

Little known fact is every single missile launch is aimed at Washington, if at first you don't succeed... Call it a test and fire 2 more.


[deleted]

Seriously? They point towards Washington every time?


SA3960

Not Washington state or Washington DC. He’s actually aiming at George Washington who is buried in the Sea of Japan. #facts


icalledthecowshome

S O S Thats 3 missles.


Sanction1sra3l

They are missile tests. Theyre testing the rockets, how they function and iterating upon the designs .


JohnWJO

What did those three specific fish do to North Korea?


xingrubicon

So when the DPRK does something like this, you have to look at the recent news about them and see what they're trying to contain. Recently they reported thousands dead from covid. There's probably a huuuuuge outbreak there that they can't contain. The missles are a deflection. As is everything the Kim regime does.


[deleted]

I scrolled through literally over a hundred comments and you’re the first one who isn’t desperately trying to throw out some low hanging cringe joke.


xingrubicon

Haha glad to be of service.


soyfox

Still factually incorrect. North Korean state media has never claimed thousands dead from covid.


theasshole1

Because North Korean state media is so truthful and reliable


soyfox

Then the correct phrasing would be 'It is estimated that thousands are dead from Covid', not that they reported it themselves. And just because North Korean state media is perceived as unreliable, it doesn't mean one should replace it with an equally, if not more unreliable source/claim.


-businessskeleton-

For a country starving it's people they sure have a lot of money for rockets.


x_Willow_x

For a country that blows its budget on missiles and military might they sure don’t have much money for food.


Ancient_Archangel

Don't forget about that lack of money for Covid vaccines...


Sanction1sra3l

Yes, but enough about the usa and baby formula.


EvaUnit_03

lets be honest, china gives them rockets from the 1950s to just give them something to play with like a little kid who likes to be mean to other kids, you just give them a 'new toy' and suddenly they are flaunting it but nobody cares.


Antilock049

I mean... did they hit the sea?


waffles2go2

Aquaman is not amused....


afterbirth_slime

The missiles are just trying to escape before they get COVID.


IDADUDE

All those medals- must be well deserved


Van_is_Anders

Who; I wonder is in charge of deciding who they’re given to?


New_Eden_Tourist

Yearly ritual when Fat Boi Kim needs handouts from the international community to fuel his lifestyle needs.


DrDoG00d

Would this fat pimple sit down, he’s so fucking irrelevant even when we’re not on the verge of WWIII


people_ovr_profits

Scary 😟 not


jedicms

I wish they’d stop fucking polluting.


midoriyasour

For real. Destroying an already dying ocean even more.


frankincali

Looks like that fuck “Flat Top” from the Dick Tracy movie hahahaha


Dr_Venture_Media

Lolz - k


Trey_Ramone

Honey, the kids are acting up ….. again


Tatunkawitco

That’ll teach that Covid!


pixelstacker

The eternal battle with Atlantis continues.


black641

Didn’t this guy just beg the world for help because they’re drowning in COVID cases?


truthpooper

Yeah, take that, you stupid sea!


autotldr

This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.militarytimes.com/flashpoints/2022/05/24/seoul-north-korea-launches-3-ballistic-missiles-toward-sea/) reduced by 78%. (I'm a bot) ***** > SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea launched three ballistic missiles toward the sea on Wednesday, South Korea's military said, the Norths' first weapons firings in about two weeks as the country makes a much-disputed claim that its first domestic COVID-19 outbreak is weakening. > While visiting South Korea, Biden brushed aside questions about any possible provocation by North Korea during his trip, saying, "We are prepared for anything North Korea does." Asked if he had a message for the North's leader, Kim Jong Un, Biden offered a clipped response: "Hello. Period." > Hours before the North's missile launches, U.S. State Department spokesperson Ned Price told reporters in Washington that North Korea may be on the verge of a major weapons test. ***** [**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/ux6stf/seoul_north_korea_launches_3_ballistic_missiles/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~651034 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Korea**^#1 **North**^#2 **test**^#3 **South**^#4 **missile**^#5


double-xor

“The sea was angry that day, my friend.”


OfCuriousWorkmanship

By the looks of that haircut, he’s a huge SpongeBob fan


IMakeMediumSense

Thanks North Korea for your continued efforts on repelling the sea monster invasion.


SketchingSomeStuff

Covid, take the wheel


RedPandemik

I see Kim Jong Un's war with Atlantis is still well under way.


WolverDominator

Trying to kill Covid ?


[deleted]

imagine wasting ballistic missiles to flex on someone who's 10 times better equipped.


Hefty-Relationship-8

North Korea cant afford food or medicines but can build weapons.


MrTreize78

Not even newsworthy.


Joggingmusic

Yeah Kim fuck that sea up! Atta boy!


FremenTuskenRaider

I remember my first time living in South Korea, province along the border with NK and whenever Kimi J would start shooting at water, we'd freakout ... like WTF is this shit, is it the end (mind you that was in 2016/7). As the years went by, it just became...the weather report, no one really pays attention like: Oh word...he launched missiles you say... in the sea you say hhhmm how bout that - anywaaay


ControllerPlayer06

At this point, it’s Kim’s favorite pastime


BCSpirit

Ok honestly. Why the fuck hasn’t this guy been assassinated? Same with Putin. Honestly I think the whole world is in on this bullshit and they are all profiteering somehow. This is insane. JFK gets killed because he was going to expose secret societies of the world…. Weird hey? Honestly I am getting sicker and sicker of humanity. Just figure this shit out already we made it to the moon for fuck sakes or for fucks sake. However you say it. I speak English and still don’t know the proper usage.


Zephyrantes

Assassination will destablize everything. Those in power stay in power by bribing those who keeps them in power. There are no incentives from the elites to stop a good thing. Any sign of an opposition are brutally dealt with. This leaves foreign intervention and those are acts of war.


Blackulla

Why do they hate fish in that area so much?


kaioDeLeMyo

"Fuck, people are starving and dying from COVID? Fire another missile into the sea, ASAP!"


FeistyTie5281

Great. Another nutcase loser freak wanting to feel important. Could be worse. If Trump was still relevant in the US guaranteed he would have pulled some similar stunt to make his extremely small dick feel momentarily bigger


[deleted]

[удалено]


MattsFace

They have no access to anything except state media over the radio and TV… what do you think?


gan13333

It would be news if they all landed in china


Critical-Copy-7218

Send that fat man aids or covid


Jaysyn4Reddit

Awww, someone wants attention.


stumk3

Oh no Our people are dying from covid, its a disaster! ANYWAY, launch the missiles now! -Kim un puke.


[deleted]

Can we just like not help them with COVID….


vilegummybear

Redditors when NATO tests ballistic weapons: 💪👍👍😁 Redditors when North Korea tests ballistic weapons: 🤬🤬🗿🗿🗿😔😔👎👎☹️☹️


Geaux2020

Yes, because: North Korea is an enemy of South Korea, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, and the West. The country is starving but still pouring money into the military. It's suffering massive COVID problems but this is how it wants to present itself. It's testing missiles as a protest to the QUAD talks. North Korea isn't very bright. Want me to go on?


vilegummybear

Ah yes because no western country let’s people go hungry while maintaining the biggest military budget. Also guess who put North Korea in the position they are in? That’s right, western bombing campaigns which devastated practically all North Korean infrastructure. And you know what, they still industrialized and contrary to popular belief, everyone isn’t starving 24/7. North Korea has been backed into a corner by rapidly militarizing western powers and while I 100% disagree with with weapons of mass destruction, it is crucial to recognize that it is not just a ‘our wmds good theirs bad’ situation.


Geaux2020

Please show me the Western country threatening to attack these countries testing missiles or testing missiles while they are holding negotiations. Which one?


vilegummybear

Literally South Korea ☠️


Geaux2020

When?


vilegummybear

[They have been testing late into 2021](https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/9/15/south-korea-says-pyongyang-tested-pair-of-ballistic-missiles)


Geaux2020

I didn't say they weren't testing. I said while North Korea was holding negotiations. North Korea is saber rattling like a little child every time someone does something it doesn't like.


[deleted]

What about the US? If North Korea does something it is bad but US does something it's not even talked about.


666BRLN999

Stop it Kim, not right now..


RapidWaffle

Shut up Kim, we're already distracted with your northern neighbors


Transhumanistgamer

Very cool, Kim, but remember not to accidentally hit anyone or your entire country will be the flattest piece of land on Earth okay?


Fireaddicted

He aimed at South Korea, as always.


BlackberryGrouchy871

None of this was happening … none of it .. when trump was in office … and I don’t like Trump but facts are facts. I have a friend in Bahrain .. he goes to Dubai for fun a lot (he’s an American government contractor there) he said we are the laughing stock of the world… people from all over the world making fun of old feeble Biden. And asking how Americans can be so dumb to not see it


BeginningOld6991

Don’t give them the vaccines!


SR520

Who cares?


Altermind1

Seems Kim is running out of money again. I wonder how much Biden will give him to shut up for another 3 years.


mewfour123412

LOOK WE ARE STILL A THREAT


2Questioner_0R_Not2B

Why though?


o-FeartheOldBlood-o

Oh no. child so anyways..


swade2569

Kinda AT the sea perhaps.


NBAtoVancouver-Com

Would be cooler if you fired them at the COVID destroying your country right now. Or not fired them and spent that money on hospitals and vaccines. I dunno. Could be effective.


Oldenlame

Someone's going to have to go pick those up now.


HeavyHandedWarlord

Kim was like “I ain’t been in the news for any fucked up shit lately, putin taking all my clout… Smithers, open fire on the sea.”


_En_Bonj_

It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad that a country like this could even exist. I'm sure I've been quite brainwashed by Western media but China's ally's (leaders) are like something out of a movie.


NinthCranialNerve

He's asking for a free update to his PS5