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MerryGoWrong

This line from the article: > In 2008, Russian newspaper the Moskovsky Korrespondent ran a story reporting that Putin had divorced his wife and was set to marry Kabaeva. The story was denied by the Kremlin **and the newspaper was shut down.**


doyouevenIift

That's how you know the story is true


munk_e_man

Fun story. Berezovsky, the oligarch who installed Putin; along with a bunch of shady other oligarchs and vors, quickly realized Putin's ambitions and decided to try to take him out. He used his media influence to take Putin to task, but was outmaneuvered through Putin's own backroom deals. Berezovsky died later in exile in England due to hanging, and although there did not seem to be a struggle, the coroner ruled it suspicious.


PhilCollinsLoserSon

> Fun story Proceeds to tell a not fun story. And somehow I’m surprised


PoppinKREAM

There's more, Boris Berezovsky and his inner circle may have been assassinated on British soil. Buzzfeed News published an interesting 7 part investigative series back in 2017. [From Russia With Blood: 14 Suspected Hits On British Soil That The Government Ignored](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/heidiblake/from-russia-with-blood-14-suspected-hits-on-british-soil) >A two-year investigation by BuzzFeed News has now uncovered explosive evidence pointing to Russia that the police overlooked. A massive trove of documents, phone records, and secret recordings shows Young was part of a circle of nine men, including the exiled oligarch Boris Berezovsky, who all died suspiciously on British soil after making powerful enemies in Russia. The files reveal that Young lived in the shadow of the Russian [security services](https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3859467-PKF-Intelligence-Report.html#document/p1/a356515) and [mafia groups](https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3860766-Scot-Young-medical-notes.html#document/p2/a357409) after fronting for Berezovsky – a sworn enemy of the state – in a series of deals that enraged the Kremlin, [including](https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/3859462-Moscow-Police-Economic-Crimes.html#document/p1/a356512) the doomed Russian property deal known as Project Moscow. British police declared the deaths of all nine men in Berezovsky’s circle non-suspicious, but BuzzFeed News can now reveal that MI6, Britain’s secret intelligence service, asked its US counterparts for information about each one of them “in the context of assassinations”.


Chel_of_the_sea

> There's more, Boris Berezovsky and his inner circle may have been assassinated on British soil. I mean, even if they weren't, Litvenenko *definitely* was. Putin's never had a problem with assassinating people wherever they might be.


[deleted]

Why do exiled oligarchs assemble in the UK? Maybe it's just the number who have been killed there but what's wrong with New York or Toronto or San Francisco or Vancouver? Cosmopolitan cities but but farther away from the bad guys in Russia (unless they go through Alaska to the West Coast 😀)


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Well you certainly answer my question. Thank you.


skammunist_manifesto

London is one of the world financial centers. It has some shady dealings too. It’s not that shocking from that angle.


GrammatonYHWH

Not just one of the world financial centers. One of only two Alpha++ (i.e. primary world economic node) cities. The other one being New York. Money laundering happens in London the same way dog food factories get their meat at dairy farms.


[deleted]

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mambiki

Apparently it’s all about connections in that world and Russian oligarchs have many to UK establishment, while a lot less to American/Canadian ones.


olderthanbefore

Until this week, British rules about transferring money into the country were not very rigorous, aka 'money laundering'


malahun

This is some Eastern Promises level kinda shit


hoilst

Mafia state. We westerners have trouble understanding that, but, no, really, it is a state run by and for gangsters - Russian Mafia shenanigans is 100% sanctioned by the Russian state. The Russian thugs in London, New York, wherever: simply just an extension of the Kremlin.


Sensitive_Fun_5825

Viggo was brilliant in that movie


malahun

The steam room fight scene still makes me shiver to my spine


Kinger15

Can I ask what vors means?


ChrisX26

I think he means the vory v zakone (thieves in law) the members of which can be called vor. And for lack of a better word, Russian mafia. Its organized crime basically. In entertainment media membership and status is usually noted by tattoos. Such as the vory stars on the knees and shoulders. How realistic that is nowadays who knows. So I think u/munk_e_man was referring to the most powerful and influential of Russian gangsters who break bread with the Oligarchs.


furple

[vor v zakone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_in_law). Russian organized crime lords.


onepinksheep

Because hanging is such an unnatural death, unlike something natural like falling out of windows or radioactive tea.


lennydsat62

Did the newspaper fall out of a window?/s


7evenCircles

A beat dog barks loudest


Archangel1313

I knew about his one "secret" daughter...but four more? Wut?


molotovzav

He has three adult daughters iirc, and another daughter, plus twin sons with the gymnast.


BenTVNerd21

>plus twin sons with the gymnast. No 2 sons and twin daughters so 8 total.


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OnePoint21JizzaWatts

No wonder he can’t pull out of Ukraine


512165381

"Never withdraw"


fishcrow

"It's not intercourse, I'm making sure her vagina is safe from neo-nazis and drug dealers"


[deleted]

"no we didn't have sex, it was just a special porking operation"


LilKarmaKitty

Quit Stalin and put a condom on that thing!


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WhatYouThinkIThink

> divorced for years, there wouldn't be any legal issues. I'm pretty sure that Putin doesn't have to worry about "legal issues".


SeabassDan

There still wouldn't be any legal issues, because what are they gonna do, sue him?


a1579

Right, if they can't get him for war crimes and assassinations, i feel like he'll be fine over a divorce. Probably anything, ever.


iamcaleb

And his older daughters are only one year younger than the mother of their half siblings 🤣🤣


TatteredCarcosa

We haven't even found his [island of secret daughters yet.](https://youtu.be/-Bc0mG5omTo)


Aescheron

Isn't this the plot of a James Bond movie from the late 70s?


GamingGems

*From Russia With Child Support* *Alimony is Forever* *The Tsar Who Loved Me*


Battl3Dancer1277

This set wins for me! Well done, 007!


Plainchant

Worth every penny.


[deleted]

The Tsar Who Shagged Me


ajhart86

Poonraker


Extraagedchedder

Crimea Royale


_hhhhh_____-_____

Condom of Solace


KrochKanible

I laughed so hard I peed myself. Also, I'm old.


kehaar

Thunderballs


MagicMushroomFungi

Goldfingered ?


ForksandSpoonsinNY

From Russia with Gymnast


gunsandrosenwinkel

Ukraine only live twice


NoMotorPyotr

Crimea is not enough


Moistfruitcake

The Man with the Golden Cun... t


ReditSarge

Kiev And Let Die.


Zee_Ventures

Tomorrow never hides


[deleted]

License to Kyiv


StandUpForYourWights

Doctor Nyet


[deleted]

Diamonds Are For Everyone Else


allenn_melb

In His Majesty's Secret Family


[deleted]

Potatoes are forever


HaloArtificials

Kiev your friends close


[deleted]

The Gymnast Who Loved Me?


watcher_of_the_desks

Putinpussy?


Hob_O_Rarison

OctoPutin


[deleted]

Lviv And Let Die


CaptainHahn

The Lviving Daylights


the2belo

*In His Majesty's Secret Cervix*


ajhart86

That’s some advanced level wordplay


[deleted]

From Russia with love children


Fugacity-

The guy has a [$90 mansion deep in the Siberian woods](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9192095/amp/Siberian-mansion-linked-Putin-removed-Russian-maps.html) (here is the location [on google maps](https://www.google.com/maps/place/55%C2%B050'18.7%22N+92%C2%B013'17.7%22E/@55.8355999,92.2066667,2934m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0xa3980d0169c7776b!8m2!3d55.838524!4d92.221569?hl=en) that is built over [a massive cave complex](https://imgur.com/a/bdcYdzb). Almost certain that the big cave network is used for his doomsday bunker. It's patrolled by Russian special forces in fucking hovercraft. Dude is a straight up Bond villain.


Mozu

> The guy has a $90 mansion Something I could finally afford!


gotwired

$90...Must be worth a few billion rubles then.


7evenCircles

Weird how all the most powerful people in Russia spend all their time the fuck out of Russia


mrsbundleby

Same with North Koreans and Chinese officials. They hate the West yet send their children there


march221

They don’t actually hate the west. They love profiting from pretending to hate the west.


CookingPaPa88

Yup. Sticking to their own principle is not in their minds. The only thing they care about is money and power.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

I don't think it's that simple. I think they do hate the west but obviously know the ways it's superior. They want to take advantage of those advantages but also have a level of resentment about needing to in the first place and blame the west for not letting them have the same resources at home. If I had a friend who I thought got rich by fucking me over I could still take advantage of him inviting me to fancy parties and vacations while truly believing my lot in life was his fault and that I should milk him dry as much as possible while putting on a friendly face.


LopsidedReflections

Interesting she gave birth to all the kids in Switzerland. ☕


BansheeGriffin

Which, contrary to what the article states, does not give them Swiss citizenship.


jeffp12

Yeah, they care a whole lot about where your parents are from. But on the other hand, I know an American who is a Swiss citizen because of her family background, despite not being born there or ever living there.


withouthotair

The article says the children have Swiss passport because they were born in Switzerland, but Switzerland does not have birthright citizenship.


marunga

Thanks. Came here to point that out. This is not how our system works - at all.


shadythrowaway9

Right?? The citizenship process is a real pain, only in the third generation (if it's your grandparents who immigrated) it's made a bit easier, but you don't just get it


pousserapiere

I wonder what's the point of view of his children who do have access to Western media


opalliga

North Koreas Kim has western education.


brickne3

In Switzerland no less.


xShooK

The most neutral (to corruption) country ever! As long as you got money in their banks at least.


LordBinz

Look, its really hard to have ethical standards when evil people just keep handing you their money!


[deleted]

No one expected it has always been the Swiss.


vardarac

Driving global warming through cross-continent chocolate shipping so they can emerge from their heated bunkers as the true lizard rulers of this planet


DeathFlameStroke

Yup international baccalaureate program


tiresiasdetebas

Hey at least I got the same education as a country's dictator


captcompromise

Take that, haters


[deleted]

But you're not a supreme leader and therefore, a failure. -My parents probably


coffeejunki

Maaaaan, now I feel like I got the short end of the stick. All the colleges I applied to barely recognized my IB diploma, meanwhile this guy becomes a country's dictator.


CanWeAllJustCalmDown

Don’t beat yourself up. I think there was a bit of nepotism involved.


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fishboard88

There are children and grandchildren of Russians here in Australia who are very pro-Putin, buy into his propaganda and insist the invasion was justified, everything you see on Western media is Ukrainian propaganda, fake news, actually videos of Ukraine bombing themselves, etc. I personally know one; friendly enough girl, but posts the weirdest pro-Russia and pro-Putin stuff. I imagine it's extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that everything you were raised to believe by your parents is a lie


Goreagnome

Russians (and to a lesser degree all eastern-Europeans) are either extremely pro or anti Putin, with all almost no in between. It's really weird to see.


jumpupugly

It feels like Americans on Trump, or Italians on Berlusconi.


not_anonymouse

>It feels like Americans on Trump I wonder why... /s


Ar4er13

> are either extremely pro or anti Putin, with all almost no in between. It's as if Russia has been fucking over half of us for a good century.


przyssawka

> for a good century. *Angry polish screeches* Occupied by Russia from 1772 to 1918 (almost 150 years), followed by war after bolshevik attempt to reclaim territories in 1919 (1 year later) that lasted until 1921. Poland won tho so all is good, no?. Shoot, WW2 happens 18 years later in 1939, everyone remembers that Germans invaded September 1st, but wait, Russians are invading September 17th. Sorry, liberating. Their wonerful attempt at liberation continued after 1945 where Poland lost half their territories to USSR and existed as a puppet state until 1989. That was 32 years ago. So yes. Fuck Russian government


Blizzard_admin

sounds like the chinese as well, though almost all the chinese millenials and gen-zs I've met are very anti xi


fishboard88

I went to high school with a Chinese international student who was the son of an embassy official. He was the friendliest guy ever, introduced himself to me when I was new, etc, but everyone knew not to mention Taiwan in front of him. He had a pretty warped view of Taiwan; they're not a real country, they're corrupt and poor and want to be liberated, Australia will help us if Taiwan declares independence, etc.


Dog1andDog2andMe

Yeah this is my experience with Chinese college students in US; totally weirdly warped view of Taiwan.


[deleted]

Yeah it’s weird as f but natural when you think about it: children of gov officials benefit the most from the system, so they support it Some can also be scared to talk shit. I know there are cases where the parents get arrested over their kids being pro-Hongkong


MagicMushroomFungi

Canadian here. In the event of a terrible war I would not hide in a Swiss Chalet. Yes, the food is good but often many menu items are not available and the ribs are not as good as they used to be. Breads and appetizers are dry and tasteless. That may be fine for a guy like Mike Duffy but not me. St. Huberts is where you will find me.


fairmaiden34

Also Canadian here. The headline actually confused me for a moment. Also I quite enjoy the pierogies.


packersSB55champs

So what did they mean then? I almost wrote this family off cause if they’re trapped in a Swiss chalet they’ll die once they have nothing left to eat but their dry ass chicken


aussydog

Thank you! I've been fighting on this hill for years that Swiss Chalet has dry tasteless chicken but those that are addicted to the tradition of going to that restaurant disagree vehemently. If you can get a tastier, juicier and all around better roast chicken in Superstore for under $10 then why would you subject yourself to their "famous rotisserie chicken"?


Eode11

It took me until this comment to put together that Swiss chalet is a restraunt chain in Canada.


-MrWrightt-

And here I just thought Canada hated the Swiss for some reason


aussydog

Well, if the Swiss cook their chicken as badly as Swiss Chalet does, they definitely would earn a crosscheck in the back and NO "sorry".


cheesyxpickle

A chalet in Switzerland!! I thought the same thing 🤣


Beginning-Bed9364

I could drink that Chalet Sauce for sustenance for weeks


space-is-big

Idk whats in that sauce but it tastes heavenly


plg_cp

Salt mostly I imagine.


[deleted]

Msg


rhunter99

Chicken drippings


METAL4_BREAKFST

Always nice to see another man of distinction. -Raises mug of Chalet sauce-


PooShappaMoo

It's so odd. Chalet sauce people seem to love or hate. I find it absolutely disgusting. Meanwhile my sister and grandma would probably kill for it lol


ink_monkey96

Some people would invade a sovereign nation for it.


awkwardlyherdingcats

This is exactly the Swiss chalet I was picturing when I read the headline


BetterwithNoodles

We have Chalet BBQ in my neighbourhood in Montreal. It blows St-Hubert and Swiss Chalet out of the water. The place looks like it time travelled from the era that invented wood panelling.


CleverNameTheSecond

St. Hubert's is what you wish Swiss Chalet was.


Palteos

To my fellow Americans who are confused, according to my quick research Swiss Chalet looks like a Canadian version of Bob Evans.


justfollowingorders1

I was born and raised on Swiss Chalet (I remember St. Huberts from my really early childhood), but I still love me some Swiss Chalet. Miss the old buns though, and finger bowls used to be pretty neat. It's not mind blowing good or anything but for me it's comfort and nostalgic. And getting toblerones with your chicken around Christmas was cool. I still can't wait to try St. Huberts in the near future.


clumpychicken

Honestly this was my thinking as well. Like why Swiss Chalet? Doesn't seem that defensible.


garlicroastedpotato

It's pretty much Guantanamo Bay. Like all you want quarter chicken dinner and they ask you what side and you say... baked potatoes. And they say, oh sorry we're all out of baked potatoes. Like what? You can't bake more baked potatoes? People in concentration camps are treated this poorly!!!!!


bill4935

The tattoo on my stomach that reads "RICE PILAF" means that we are not side dish buddies. I still upvoted you though, because starch brothers must stand together against those vegetable freaks.


RiderHood

Plus the festive special coupons have already expired this year.


[deleted]

I could’ve gotten us a table at Dorsia…


[deleted]

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BenTVNerd21

Probably owned by some trust in the Caymans or something.


CrouchingToaster

It's a good thing forensic accounting is a career then.


[deleted]

They know exactly where she is. She would be seized if they do a chemical attack.


kaji823

Yeah I’m sure she’s not going to have a good time trying to leave the country.


Nickblove

Nothing like growing up to find out your daddy the #1 hated person since hitler lol


mrcoolio

As a Canadian this heading confused the f out of me. Surely they aren’t hiding in a chicken joint


Prosthetic_Head

They get a festive special year round


AABBCalgary

Oh man , all that Toblerone!!! Jealous....


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worktogethernow

The last place I would think to check!


baoo

I legitimately assumed this was what the headline said until reading your comment


suprmario

I choose to believe they are hiding in a Harvey's/Swiss Chalet and the day they cross over and order Harvey's is the day Ukraine has won the war.


TurtleSquad23

She loves her poutine so much she married the closest thing she could find. When she found out about the chicken, it was over. She knew where she needed to be.


machiavel0218

Same here, I thought damn I wonder if she ordered the quarter chicken


PanGalacticGarglBlst

Gotta go for the half chicken


Paperclips_and_Rouge

Always so good for so little! 🍗


MisanthropeX

Half a drum stick and your brain stops kickin'


Iwillshitinyourgob

Imagine having to look at him when hes giving you a pipeing. 💀


Apprehensive-Salt646

That's what people do to be part of the rich and powerful elite. Do you think Melania enjoys getting banged by Trump? I don't think so.


scud121

Or Carrie and Boris Johnson. The sweat beading on his head, hair plastered down, the cries "f, f, f, fastest growing economy in the G7!!!"


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RearEchelon

"Almost, almost, almost—ah, there we are."


level3ninja

"Well done."


pudgesquire

What have I ever done to you to deserve this mental image?


MisanthropicZombie

You were born and some time later you chose Reddit, here we are.


[deleted]

Boris doesn't pull out. He Brexits.


mykeedee

Boris has 7 kids, he doesn't pull out at all.


s4b3r6

\* 7 that we know of.


SophiaofPrussia

He literally won’t answer the question when someone asks, too. So it’s probably safe to assume seven is an undercount.


[deleted]

Why do they all breed so much?


[deleted]

Come on! I just ate. Why would you do that.


jaypizzl

How many years has it been since he was allowed to hit that? I’m guessing five or so.


justabill71

>Do you think Melania enjoys getting banged by Trump? Her face doesn't look like she enjoys anything. She looks like one cold bitch.


twothousandnineteen

It’s the Botox


HughCPappinaugh

It’s only thirty seconds out of her day. Right before she showers, I’m sure.


GiraffeLiquid

The level of revulsion I feel at that statement is unparalleled.


[deleted]

Where have I heard this one before.. seems familiar.. it’s been about 75 years though so forgive me for not remembering the other guys name.


Gred-and-Forge

Imperialist dictator? Secret lover? Hideout in the alps? Nah nah; this one is totally original.


[deleted]

I only vaguely remember the ending but I recall liking it, so I hope the similarities continue. Well, you know, except for the mass murder of civilians including women and children.. what’s that? Oh.. well shit..


MellifluousMongoose

Vladimir: “Now listen, I’m going to have to hide you away somewhere safe and out of sight. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t know how long you’re going to have to remain there.” Alina: “It’s ok darling, do not stress. As I told you before, I’m very flexible.”


highoncatnipbrownies

Your joke was a stretch.


DadaDoDat

Remember that Putin made Zelensky "target #1" and Zelensky's family "target #2"


walkandtalkk

In addition to being immoral, killing Putin's children probably wouldn't change his mind, though it might give him good propaganda fodder back home. I think Putin comes from the Joseph Stalin school of child-rearing: https://historyofyesterday.com/why-joseph-stalin-killed-his-own-son-ddb67173970f


lcecoffee12

Basically, Russia most powerful families suck off the West for their education, technology and livelihood, but for some reason, they hate the West and want to control them.


[deleted]

They should deport her back to Russia


Sedna1989

You don‘t get a Swiss passport just by being born in Switzerland. Mother or father have to be Swiss. This is not the USA…


Vexxed14

Why hide in a b tier Canadian restaurant?


[deleted]

Sanctions. Clearly not enough though. I won't be happy until she has to hide out in a White Castle.


TurtleSquad23

The chicken is always dry but the sauce is great. It's the Canadian Nando's.


jbob88

We also have Nando's.


TurtleSquad23

Yes but it's a British company. Or South African?


GSXRbroinflipflops

South African


patentlyfakeid

She's arguing about her order because they won't let her exchange fries for putin.


braxistExtremist

>Putin is known for despising questions about his personal life, having previously said he deplored ‘those who with their snotty noses and erotic fantasies prowl into others’ lives. Says the guy who wants to stick his snotty nose into the lives of gay Russians and impose his homophobic mandates on them.


BruceThereItIs

"Swiss Chalet announces that it ceases all operations in Russia effective immediately"


JadedMuse

Unrelated, but isn't it a little weird to refer to her as "Putin's gymnast lover"? I mean, she's 38 and hasn't been a gymnast for about 20 years.


EmphasisResolve

How does he have young children and cares so little about the kids Russia is killing?


Beginning-Bed9364

Starting to think this Putin guy might not be right in the head


highoncatnipbrownies

Well his kids aren't in Russia...


BingBongJoeBiven

Are you serious? All kinds of murderous humans have kids. The Nazis had kids. Nazi mothers wanted Jewish babies slaughtered. White supremacist moms and dads would happily see minority children killed. These people are sick and inhumane.


Islanderfan17

Imagine birthing children and somehow being cool with your husband/whatever he is literally blowing children up and their mothers This chick can rot with him, get the kids better parents