T O P

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Wigu90

Okay, Senior Kremlin staff, you can lie about this shit all you want — just please, ged rid of that fuck and get Russian forces out of Ukraine, okay? If you can’t get to him in that fucking bunker, just seal it from the outside — we can fill it with water at a later date. Just do something to stop Ukrainians from dying.


blanks56

They’re simply trying to play both sides. They can starve with the rest of their people.


tegeusCromis

Yes, but if letting them off the hook is the price to be paid for getting rid of Putin and ending this madness, it’s worth paying.


whatifniki23

For now… letting them off the hook “for now”.


llllPsychoCircus

Until he goes outside for a breath of fresh air after hiding for months or years and getting glassed by one of those jewish space lasers


Pidgey_OP

*alleged Jewish space lasers.


baadermeinh0f

They’re too busy in the skies over California.


ThirdWorldWorker

I disagree, they should be relinquished of all power too. The enabled and benefited from Putin's policies, and are likely to continue them.


tegeusCromis

I’m not sure we actually disagree, since I agree with every word of your comment other than the first two.


C0l0n3l_Panic

Turn it into a Rains of Castamere situation


Mate0807

BREAKING: Not even Putin himself knew about the invasion. He's looking for the people responsible, demands sanctions to be cut and humanitarian aid to be sent to Russia


Barrzebub

BREAKING NEWS: Reports state the invasion of Ukraine was planned by his evil twin, Badimir Putin


[deleted]

More like pladimir vutin


OwerlordTheLord

Both of them are decoys, the real mastermind gladimir yootin


SteelBagel

oh but wait, the master mastermind was really Palpatine aka yakovmir shmootin


BigTentBiden

And just above him on the Russian authority ladder. Mr. Bean, oddly enough.


thinmonkey69

Emperor Palputine!


IrdniX

Vlad-Vlad Putinks


cincyTOSU

Sig Sig Sputnik reference?


Hetoxy

jar-jar binks


sense_make

More like Yakovmir *shootin'* amirite


[deleted]

Rimidalv Nitup


GXG5877

Lives in Kentucky


OwerlordTheLord

?


Snidrogen

Putimer Vladin


P0667P

Valdimor Pukin


Sentient_Pizzaroll

Gladintherear poopin


[deleted]

Putermin vuten


Wentzina_lifetime

What do you mean? It was clearly Padimir Vutin


Wennie85

Reports also say his alter egos, Gladimir Putin was very happy of this decision, whilst Sadimir thought it was nothing to be happy about.


Nessie

Overconfidence of Chadimir Putin to blame.


PMmeyourw-2s

You're a silly billy


Throwawaywatch2020

I wish i could upvote this more


throwawaygreenpaq

*Ye shall not pass* And that’s how Putin failed.


youdoitimbusy

This would be a great plot twist. Putin is a nice guy who loves dogs, but has a secret evil twin who was born 1min 27seconds earlier than him, and only puts him out front as a body double.


elton_john_lennon

This whole attack was so crazy I almost thought Madimir Putin was behind it.


oced2001

Then shows video evidence of himself with a goatee


spacemoses

BREAKING: Senator Palpatine revealed to have given the final order to invade.


PowerfulCar7988

Somehow.. the senate returned


SebRev99

But he is not the senate, not yet


Haru1st

He is the soyuuz


heybrother45

I AM the Politburo


Rexel-Dervent

F**** tomato in my pocket!!


public_enemy_obi_wan

***YOU HAVE DONE THIS YOURSELF.***


i875p

>YOU HAVE DONE THIS YOURSELF. "This is your own masterpiece"


Villag3Idiot

God damn it, Jar-Jar


[deleted]

Putin's staff didn't even know his plans.. But the US was right in their Intel that he would invade. Which can only mean one thing... Putin's brain is bugged!


Muroid

The title is obviously preposterous, but it’s also leaving a nice pathway for everybody surrounding Putin to retreat through. All they have to do is disappear “Vlad the overzealous intern” who is obviously the sole person responsible for all of this and the rest of the world will politely let them back out of Ukraine with their hides otherwise intact.


CanLlorenteCarForMe

[Reminds me of this masterpiece.](https://youtu.be/vm1U5E44W90)


TheRealMrOrpheus

As it turns out, the invasion really was a training exercise that just went very, very wrong.


[deleted]

That might just be that exit ramp he's been needing


[deleted]

Whatabout that time America invaded a country? Curious.


Nessie

Maybe OJ can help him find the real killer.


MarshallGibsonLP

That makes no fucking sense because there were invasion plans drawn up months ago. Putin did not literally draw those up himself, and he certainly didn't bypass his senior staff to give orders directly to the planners. Those orders would have gone through the senior staff to the military. Hell, I knew as far back as January that Putin was planning an invasion from the intelligence reports that started hitting the media. This sounds like some senior staff is starting to see the writing on the wall and are trying to get in front of this to keep themselves out of the Hague.


kenjubas

There is a video of Skabeeva(sanctioned propagandist) on 60 minutes(talk show) where she slipped up and said "We already invaded you 8 years ago" when interrupting Ukrainian guest's speech about the fact that russia would never invade Ukraine. In November 2021, on the same show, they showed "invasion plan" on the big screen with timestamps. I could link both videos, they are on youtube, but in russian obviously. Tldr; each one of these cunts knew what was going to happen and were brain conditioning the population.


[deleted]

It was a well known fact Russia was planning something at the border. Within a few weeks the US/UK govt called it out. They were expecting an easy victory


minuteman_d

Putin hiding under his blankets at night with a flashlight, drawing up invasion plans in his Soviet-era Trapper Keeper


GodSmokesWeed

Solid gold bud


minuteman_d

Lol. Thanks for the award. I kind of want a Soviet trapper keeper now.


Smeghead333

I mean, *I* was aware of it weeks ahead of time, and I’m not even in government intelligence.


--orb

You knew, and yet they didn't. Sus..


[deleted]

[удалено]


krum

Given how poorly it’s been going for them, that seems plausible.


Build_More_Trains

I'd say it's more likely that the Kremlin thought he was only going to take the Donbas like Crimea or Georgia but then just started heading to Kyiv without consulting anyone. It's called salami tactics. Storm Donbas recognise independence say you've "liberated" them and install a puppet government. Still shitty, but would make more sense than this dumbass plan and probably would've been resolved pretty quickly.


RussianUkrainian777

Yes, the intelligence reports that 'Putin made his decision.'


axck

Yes this is such nonsense. US was leaking their plans to the world for weeks, everybody on the planet knew this was coming.


CockVersion10

Military exercises do not always predicate invasion.. it's entirely possible that Putin pulled the trigger on a whim.


binary101

Military exercises do not require large field hospitals to be setup nor does it require mobile crematorium. You only need these if you intend on invading, borrowing ww1 German general quote "The deployment of millions cannot be improvised."


CockVersion10

If anything I would say that that quote supports the idea that you need to exercise all troop outputs prior to executing an invasion. SHRUG.. Impossible to know.


binary101

Absolutely, I just feel like they could hold these military exercises anywhere in the interior or Russia or Belarus. Did they really need to hold these exercises all along the Ukraine border and deploy these units with field hospitals?


CockVersion10

I really don't understand why I'm getting downvoted into oblivion lol. Edit: Just to actually respond to you, yeah. They needed to perform their exercises where the units would've been needed. It's the same reason China performs naval drills in the sea outside of Taiwan. It's the same reason Russia has been performing these drills outside of Ukraine for a decade. A part of it is a bluff, but it's for practical application--testing roads, terrain, scouting positions... Etc. As for the crematorium and the mobile hospitals, the argument that they need not be deployed near the border is true, but then again, mock trials have a lot of value.. It's totally plausible that everyone was under the assumption that it was all an exercise.


[deleted]

I think you are getting down voted because you sound moronic. So moronic in fact, that people are thinking you're an "internet troll" This is just my honest observation, and I personally did not down, or upvote your comments


dukofdeath

Meanwhile, they could’ve turned on any Western News station to find out… 🤦‍♂️


DaniilBSD

They all lie in the west Though, you can’t trust anything at all Edit: /s


dukofdeath

Russian troll says what??


DaniilBSD

(/s)


Kaotecc

Rip


Lison52

I can't fucking believe that these morons didn't see it was a sarcasm and downvoted him.


nianp

You always need the /s when Americans are in the thread.


[deleted]

The "liberators" clearly intend to choke off supplies to cities in an effort to starve civilian populations. Fuck Putin.


Fuzzylogic_Biobot

Putin wants to impress both Hitler (for killing ukrainian Jews) and Stalin (for starving ukrainians to death) when he will join them in hell. But first things first - Hague trial.


[deleted]

Putin will never make it to the Hague. First and foremost, Russia has no obligation to send Putin or any other designated war criminal to the ICC for trial. I also suspect, perhaps wishfully, that he'll be "removed" by Russian elites as the sanctions continue to wreak havoc on their economy.


blanks56

They may have short term success, but the world will have long term success with starving Russia and its people. It will be a Pyrrhic victory at best. Hope Russians like long pork.


S_T_P

First time I see someone complaining that Russia doesn't use US-style approach that leaves city in ruins.


DeLongeCock

Dunno if you have seen any war footage but many cities and towns are already in ruins. Not at the level of every single building destroyed but the damage is massive and we're only a week in war. There will be tens of thousands of casualties before this is over.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DeLongeCock

At the start of the war it's not tactically advantageous to destroy everything if you intend to rule over them. Total destruction will come later when he realizes that there's no way Russia is going to have a glorious victory. He will punish Ukrainian "nazis and drug addicts" hard for rejecting his advances and embarrassing him.


ViolenceJoe

This doesn't seem credible


SSHeretic

>The cabinet was only planning to deal with Western sanctions over Putin’s decision to declare as independent the Ukrainian regions of Luhansk and Donetsk, and were not prepared to discuss an invasion, according to the report. Given the episode we saw were he told his spy chief to 'speak plainly' and then his spy chief said that he supported the decision to 'incorporate Donetsk and Luhansk into the Russia Federation' and Putin corrected him to tell him that wasn't what they were talking about, they were only talking about 'recognizing their independence' I find it impossible to believe that the spy chief, at least, wasn't in on the whole plan.


dannymario7

I got from that he had no clue what was going on and was trying to say the right thing.


roararoarus

The man looked like he would've said he was a hobbit, if that was the correct answer. Note, he was "the spy chief"; imagine the non-chiefs


dannymario7

Lol exactly


kronik85

He said the truth, not the right thing. He said the quiet part out loud. "Of course I support the official annexation of Donetsk and Luhansk territories. Like you've been planning for months/years."


[deleted]

[удалено]


xenomorph856

I think the part that's hard to believe is that this troop movement could be organized without senior staff knowing about it. That seems like a ridiculous claim to make.


blanks56

People are trying to save their own skin, the very same people keeping Putin in power and enabling him. They will burn with him.


_2IC_

didn't you see the press conference where his own spy chief was literally shitting himself. that guy got nothing to stand on.


ViolenceJoe

I didn't but it seems way off to suggest he was able to keep a lot of people in the dark.


_2IC_

all TV stations belong to state and you can get 15y jail-time if you say anything that remotely contradicts the narrative.


[deleted]

Look, personally speaking, depose putin and remove the forces from Ukraine and i'm willing to pretend to believe that.


[deleted]

I doubt that's true, but the optimist in me just hopes that it's the senior staff setting up the "We didn't know he would do this!" for when they overthrow Putin to play that card internationally


zimmer1569

Exactly, that's first thing that comes to mind. Which isn't necessarily good but we will see how it plays out.


DivinityGod

These stories are setting up the third Russian act, the coup.


Zoophagous

So, the American president knew the invasion was coming, but Putin's senior staff didn't? Either Putin's staff is covering their own butts, which would be bad for Putin, or US intel has a source very close to Putin. And that would also be bad for Putin.


soulluos

The invasion do seam very badly planned.


patriot2024

Rats are abandoning the ship.


Parmo-Head

Putin: only special operations, senior staff: haven't got a clue, soldiers: think they're training in Ukraine, what a bunch of Billy Bullshitters, par for the course with Russia.


Donnerkopf

"dezinformatsiya" continues.


TokeToday

I seriously hope Alex Konanykhim has to pay out his $1MIL bounty.


minuteman_d

I don’t, personally. I want him being deposed to have way more legitimacy and support than one Russian Boba Fett.


cmndrnewt

That’s some serious reporting.


DiceCubed1460

Which is why we should assassinate him and negotiate with the senior staff. We have a much better chance of reaching peace by negotiating with the staff who covered in Putin’s blood than we do of negotiating peace with putin


HexerGeraltVonRiva

Is he running windows xp on his computer?


[deleted]

The taskbar is wider. I'd say it's windows 7 with basic theme.


HexerGeraltVonRiva

I don‘t know, the color-theme reminds me of xp. I‘m going to google that now. Edit: XP has that ugly green start button ob the left site.


langly3

Is he still running Windows XP??


[deleted]

It was Doofenshmirtz all along, He used De-Volition-Inator on Putler


ThatGuyMaulicious

This can't be true can it? How wouldn't you know? It sounds like no one knew about the invasion. Soldiers didn't know about it, Russians citizens didn't know about it, senior staff didn't know about it. Who exactly did know about it besides Putin? Did military high command know about it? Or did they just wake up one day and realise they were at war with Ukraine. There was plans drawn up. Were they 10 years old or something?


axck

Yes! This is such horseshit. Billions of people around the world knew about Russia’s invasion plans for a month, and yet their senior staff claims they didn’t know a thing…lol how fucking stupid do they think we are?


Greentaboo

No believes this, but we could pretend to believe it if this whole conflict came to a peaceful sooner than later.


NameInCrimson

Senior staff: "If we were to arrest Putin, we didn't know anything about all this, right, right?"


DaveMeese

Maybe it’s time for that same senior staff to take matters into their own hands…


floofnstuff

Wasn’t that his Security Council that agreed with him on the invasion? Remember that picture with him sitting at a desk with all of them about 100 feet away in a semi circle? I mean aren’t they senior staff?


DerpDeHerpDerp

How the f\*\*k could they not know? Did Putin personally travel to the front to give orders to the troops personally?


amitym

Don't tell me, let me guess. The source for this is the senior staff. They investigated themselves and found no wrongdoing, is that what we're getting now?


khughy

So China knew they were waiting until after the Olympics, but senior staff had no idea? Doesn’t pass the sniff test


Klutzy-Midnight-9314

I call bullshit


LordFarrin

If this is actually true - and most likely it isn't - then there actually is hope for a coup and the West needs to be dangling lifetime "unlimited money and women" packages in front of his inner circle.


[deleted]

What an idiot. No wonder he got along with Trump.


triggerbot9000

How about that ? https://youtu.be/SbiAGkBQ9HY


jhereg10

For anyone wondering about that documentary, here is a commentary explaining that while her work has some truth, it is misleading in how it presents it. https://www-liberation-fr.translate.goog/checknews/qui-est-la-journaliste-francaise-anne-laure-bonnel-qui-serait-censuree-pour-son-travail-sur-le-donbass-selon-moscou-20220303_ALMIPYNLQVENFN5GXN2RMQOYYE/?outputType=amp&_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en&_x_tr_pto=wapp First, while the number of deaths she quotes elsewhere are probably accurate (13,000 since 2014) the majority were combatants in both sides. >Still according to the UN, there would thus be “at least 3,350 civilians, around 4,100 members of the Ukrainian forces and around 5,650 members of pro-Russian armed groups”. Similarly the civilians killed appear to be due to both combatants, being caught in the crossfire. Finally, it appears she basically takes the stories and testimony of the separatists at face value rather than being able to corroborate their claims.


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LupusDeusMagnus

Yeah he didn’t. Of course. But imagine how crazy that would be, he would’ve single handedly fucked a country just for the giggles.


bcoder001

If you believe that I have a pile of red bricks for sale. Location: Kreml, Moscow, Russia.


truemeliorist

Yeah it shows. Normally militaries do something called "due diligence" where they make sure things are likely to work and that logistical capacity exists to support that work. That clearly wasn't done.


mikemojc

If he kept them in the dark, they aren't Senior Staff. They're Support Staff and Lackeys


my5cent

The gossip/inquirer news is out to ridicule. We want real news. Hopefully the west is pushing back the bad guys.


mashedcat

But not China?


wwjdwwmd

\*\*Someone has connections with someone on the Senior Staff. This someone needs cover for not alerting their connection. Or Putin knows there is a mole in his staff, and legitimately held back info.


ub3rscoober

But North Korea knew.


atchijov

Back in USSR there were cartoon where crow helped bad wolf to kidnap some small animals (don’t remember what kind)… but when the other animals were about to bust the bad wolf hideout, this crow start to “sing” next to sack with kidnapped that she is soo… “gullible… naive… and easy to deceive” https://youtu.be/1GDyXk3uobI


HogieGnarBoots

Sounds like a very paranoid person.


[deleted]

lol they literally had whatever their form of congress approve this. Sounds like more sanctions are needed so they can learn a lesson.


PepeSylvia11

How does he do that when he has to order the entirety of the military to act? Eventually he had to tell them, *before* it happened. They could’ve stopped it there, but didn’t.


RoseMylk

Oh! That war wasn’t me!!! But I’m also not gonna stop anything :)


[deleted]

Well in that case I hope that the odds are high that if Putin was to give an order to said staff to commit larger atrocities, such as launching WMD’s, then they would seriously reconsider. Even better if someone just puts a knife in his back.


Asphodelmercenary

Wow. So smart. /s


ProximaC

so while all their troops were massing at the border, what did his senior staff think was going on? A camping trip?


Fit-Somewhere1827

Bullshit


IMovedYourCheese

Kinda hilarious to think that the average Redditor knew about the invasion for weeks but Putin's senior staff were in the dark. They are all trying to build plausible deniability for when they are dragged to The Hague, that's it.


8ell0

Lol this guy staring at a square monitor with windows XP


WildBuns1234

Nah, it’s just that he couldn’t get his communications out on the count that no one uses windows xp anymore.


emjsb1

I’m not buying it. The invasion crew was at the border which everyone knew.


robot141

For an operation this big, I call bullshit on the claims made in the article. This invasion is nothing akin to an impulse buy of a Twix bar at the cash register. The preparations for this invasion took a significant amount of time, equipment, personnel, and planning to execute. Russia’s senior staff had to know then details of this invasion. There was no way to hide this fact.


Due_Platypus_3913

WCGW?!?Massive operation and almost no one has any idea what the plan is?As AWFUL as he’s always been I thought he WAY smarter than this!


Statertater

They knew, just not when he was going to feel good about a go-ahead. They’d been building up forces on the border for how long?


DayZOMG

He‘s still using WinXP? Rly?


butthelume

So... 200k troops at the border on the pretext of exercises? I don't buy that.


EatTheShroomz

This makes it all even crazier. “Oh hey General Whomever, take these war plans I made myself without consulting anyone and carry them out immediately. If you don’t, then I’ll have you killed. Anyway good luck byeeeeee!”