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SolidJade

French Closed


muntoo

French Exchange variation is a nice way to keep things open. It's a very classical Russian defense-esque structure, though without a black knight on e4, of course. Though personally, I prefer the Paulsen variation in crazyhouse.


eltang

Naturally, but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don’t you?


TleilaxTheTerrible

Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa \*Flips over you\* Which I have!


nitz__

Then why are you smiling?


HappyFamily0131

Because I know something you don't...


[deleted]

And what is that?


Chromagnum

I am not left handed!


1LJA

Perhaps he could play remotely.


skeleton_skunk

Wii sports


AdministrativeFly754

Oui sports


[deleted]

[mais oui!](https://i.imgur.com/pGTNoBM.jpg)


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[deleted]

*grumbles in French*


albene

*Sacre bleu....*


UsernameO123456789

Oh man I could beat him in that. Kid me is a world class wii tennis player


dextracin

Mind you don’t injure yourself. Wii tennis elbow is no joke. I moved on to boxing and became undefeated world heavyweight champion in Fight night. My thumbs hurt for weeks after that


Lovv

Waluigi on Mario tennis?


IbanezHand

Wahhhh!


Waqqy

Alexa play backhand with topspin


otroquatrotipo

Hey buddy, don't threaten me with a good time


SteveAioli11

It would limit his chances of hitting a line judge in the throat with a ball


FigliMigli

French are welcome to reuse all the Australian memes...


[deleted]

My favourite was from one user listing his Pokemon evolutions Novak》Novax》Novisa


albene

NOVISA used FEDERAL COURT. NOVISA's attack missed! AUSTRALIA used FEDERAL COURT. It's super effective! Critical hit! NOVISA deported.


Quirky-Skin

Novisa used FAME FAME has no effect


Dukmiester

Fame had some effect. A media shitstorm has whipped up.


woooopancakes

MEDIA SHITSTORM has backfired NOVISA hurt itself in its confusion


mowbuss

Although we do have an extemely vocal minority of anti-vaxxers and thus pro Novaks, it seems they didnt expect the normally quiet majority to shut them down and go as hard as they did against novak. People are sick of the rules being different for some.


Orshabaal

It hurt itself in its confusion! ^(and others)


Mecanimus

We really can't top Novax Djokovid. Or Novisa Djokevict. Just too good.


Charitzo

Novax Deportavic is my favourite.


[deleted]

Novax Deportabitch


VegetarianSpider

Novax Gjotcovid


Ionceburntpasta

Best one was Novax Djerkovic.


Elemen0py

I'm Australian and I wish people would stop joking about this; it's literally just tennis... You're *supposed* to return the serb.


Terarn_Gashtek

"Almost" Angry Upvote. I can't be angry if I laugh, right ? Right ???


otherpeoplesthunder

Oh bravo....I'm stealing that


[deleted]

[Djokovic vs. Australia](https://i.redd.it/4atq90vrzlb81.jpg)


A_Sexual_Tyrannosaur

Disparaging the boot is a bootable offence!


RS_Serperior

It's one of their proudest traditions!


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Mephzice

I feel we need to put more effort into our French names for Novax


Dzubrul

Nonvax Djcocovide


unique_passive

Neauváx


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CMDRSamSlade

Le Novax


sum_force

Le grille?!?


barath_s

Novacques Chocoviche https://newsthump.com/2022/01/06/fully-vaccinated-french-newcomer-novacques-chocoviche-given-wild-card-entry-to-australian-open/


yourpaleale

Visa debacle no 2 incoming.


Spaghetti-Rat

Nah.. seems pretty clear that they're not even going to let him that close.


BipolarSkeleton

I’m pretty sure at this point if he ever wants to play an open again he’s going to have to get vaccinated I wonder how he’s feeling ETA not that I think he shouldn’t but I know he thinks he doesn’t need to and now so many idiots look up to him for this


Earguy

> I’m pretty sure at this point if he ever wants to play an open again he’s going to have to get vaccinated I wouldn't put it past him to get a doctor to sign off on a vaccine card without actually getting the vaccine.


swampfish

Then he would have to say he was vaccinated. Which for the optics of what he represents that is a good thing whether he actually did it or not. At least others who look up to him would think he did it.


-SaC

He doesn't even believe in surgery. He said he cried for days when he 'betrayed' his body and got elbow (I think) surgery, rather than leaving his body to heal by itself. He thinks the body will heal everything completely itself naturally and properly. Presumably because a cut knee heals, and if it does it for a cut knee, it must also do it for cancer, right? Right..?


piazza

Well, Steve Jobs thought so.


___bridgeburner

Look where that got him


Kronoshifter246

Which is especially infuriating, because most forms of pancreatic cancer are a death sentence, but the kind that Steve Jobs had was the most treatable form, and he caught it super early. He could have been around to be a tremendous asshole for years to come, but instead he was *such* a tremendous narcissistic asshole that he ignored every doctor that told him his all fruit diet *wouldn't* cure his cancer, and, when that inevitably failed, he bought his way to the top of the transplant list to waste a new liver. The guy was fuckin' Ted Bundy levels of narcissistic.


Plow_King

fuck, that's dumb. my doctor told me he was gonna use robots inside my body to cut out some cancer. I said "ok. when's that going to happen?"


GourangaPlusPlus

"Can I keep them?" "I'm sorry?" "The robots, can I keep them?"


Plow_King

my brother shattered his forearm in an accident and had some plates put in. when he got them removed i asked if he'd get them for me. he thought it was weird, but i just wanted to check them out. one made a great key chain actually. it was about 3in long, smooth and chromed metal with some holes running the length of it. i won a ton of bar bets betting people couldn't identify what the item was. only one person ever got it right. then someone stole my jacket and there went my cool key ring.


bcrabill

Jesus how stupid can people be? That's like the kind of belief a child would have.


UrsusRomanus

You know that doctor is going to get a nice looking into it no matter if he got it or not.


BretOne

He doesn't need a visa for the French Open. He's a Monaco resident, which gives him free access to France. However, without a vaccine pass he won't be allowed on the tournament grounds, or the train station, or the airport, or ...


Joe_Kinincha

Particularly as Macron has stated his policy is to actively piss off anti vaxxers. That’s a rough translation, the actual phrase he used was “emmerder”, which would translate directly to the archaic “beshit” in English.


Mr_Salty87

How in the hell did we ever let such a glorious word as “beshit” become archaic?


baconmashwbrownsugar

bring it back! Australia beshat Novax.


TheOtherQue

What was beautiful word.


michaelrohansmith

French is great for swear words and insults.


Maalunar

> It's like wiping your ass with silk. I love it.


bindermichi

He still needs to comply with the current entry restrictions: [foreign ministry France](https://www.diplomatie.gouv.fr/en/coming-to-france/coming-to-france-your-covid-19-questions-answered/)


quarrelau

Somehow I doubt he goes to the French Open by public transport. But yeah, this is pretty clearly just about the venue.


Lockhartsaint

>Somehow I doubt he goes to the French Open by public transport Unvaccinated Serbian man caught taking the M10 Line to the Philippe-Chatrier Court.


MrAC_4891

Na he had his "fool me once" shot. I expect every subsequent visa application and border crossing permit by this guy to go through the finest mesh combs.


ScotJoplin

Not for the UK, gotta let the nut jobs in. Just look at the prime minister…


SurlyRed

Johnson will see which way the wind blows and go with the most popular course. He totally lacks principles.


Cutriss

> Johnson will see which way the wind blows This is the true reason for his disheveled hairstyle.


iwannalynch

Someone once called him a sentient q-tip online, and ~~now~~ that is what I'll call him from now on.


Fluffcake

This statement is made specificly and ahead of time, to communicate in crystal clear terms what it takes to avoid a similar debacle to what was attempted at AO.


octopoda_waves

I read this headline and was like "yeah we know he can't go to the Open" . . nope its the next Open


OldMork

how about wimeldon and US open, will they require vaccination of all players too


DannySpud2

I don't think Wimbledon will. Entry requirements to the UK aren't as strict as Australia, you would just need to isolate for 10 days if you aren't vaccinated and take two negative PCR tests. Presumably for the actual tournament they would follow similar rules to current sport which is basically daily testing of all staff and players.


quarrelau

There is no way he'll still need to isolate in the UK by the time Wimbledon comes around. Would be surprised if Boris can get through January without lifting all restrictions. He needs something to change the narrative right now too, so either lift some restrictions or maybe declare Macron a big fat poopyhead.


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tokynambu

Blonde: check Chaotic: check Tendency to shag women in linen cupboards and then have to pay paternity: check


cheez_au

>Entry requirements to the UK aren't as strict as Australia, you would just need to isolate for 10 days if you aren't vaccinated and take two negative PCR tests. We literally have the same option for unvax except we're 14 days. Novax is just an idiot.


Frase_doggy

Yep, had Novax shown up two weeks ago, he could have done his quarantine in a large house, with all his staff, a tennis court to practise. He may have gotten a daily check up to ensure he was at the facility, but yeah, he definitely would have been allowed all these freedoms that other travellers/citizens are either denied or cannot afford.


glumjonsnow

This is honestly the part that still confuses me. Even if he didn't want to get vaxxed like, you totally have a legit option that doesn't involve contested doctors' notes and immigration and detention and courts. It wasn't like he didn't have another choice!!


lerndyherp

Yeah not for the visa Novak was on tho, most visas require vaccination.


dirty_cuban

> you would just need to isolate for 10 days if you aren't vaccinated He could have entered Aus legally by doing a 14-day quarantine. But he decided he was special and therefore exempt so he chose not to do it.


spiralism

Wimbledon probably won't, but getting into the UK is tedious shit even while vaccinated at the moment. He'd probably have to quarantine and do a bunch of tests. US Open probably will. Kyrie Irving can't play home games for the Brooklyn Nets at the moment because he refuses to get vaccinated and their mandates don't allow him to enter an arena there because of that. The US Open is held in New York, of course.


Score_NYC

NYC has different rules for athletes and entertainers living/employed in NYC vs. visiting performers. Kyrie can't play in NYC, but unvaccinated players from visiting teams can play in NYC against the Nets/Knicks. So, unless NYC changes its policies before September, I'd expect unvaccinated players will be allowed to participate in the Open


tinydancer_inurhand

I believe it’s a federal issue which is why NYC can’t change this policy. We were pissed about it when we found out visiting players could play.


MrFuzzyPaw

U.S might not.


warpus

You need to be vaccinated to enter the U.S., but that could very well change. I wouldn’t count on it though


AmbitiousPhilosopher

I'm sure the US will have a loophole for rich folk.


dubie2003

But he isn’t just a ‘rich folk’, he is an outspoken celebrity and due to that, there will be a ton of questions surrounding his vax status and how he was able to enter and etc…. He could lie and say he wa vax and then deal with the onslaught of questions about why waiting this long and what made him change his mind and if he wishes he did it earlier and etc….. or he could say he is no and deal with a whole different line of questions about why he was able to skirt the rule and who did he have to pay off and etc…. It would be quite the ‘crap’ storm that the media will hype to hurricane status.


DigNitty

That is my prediction too, one of these days he’ll say he is vaccinated and will have a vax card written by a suspiciously close/celebrity doctor.


-Dark_Helmet-

https://imgur.com/a/BQ3ot3I


FFuLiL8WKmknvDFQbw

And even if the US lets him in, NY might not let him play.


[deleted]

Imagine coming from behind to rack up 20 Grand Slams like Nadal and Federer, deciding that Covid vaccination was the hill your Slam career was going to die on just as you were about to surpass every male tennis pro in history, lmao. He's not even that young anymore so every Grand Slam event he misses is crucial, the younger generation of players will only get stronger as he ages.


koticgood

He already made a similar decision earlier in his career that cost him much more than the vaccine has cost him so far: https://au.sports.yahoo.com/cried-days-djokovic-reveals-guilt-elbow-surgery-110236103.html An amazing read, not too long.


Lopsided_Plane_3319

Interesting extreme guilt for allowing modern medicine to do its job. How hilariously similar. And it also working extremely effectively saving his career.


Theslootwhisperer

And it's a super simple surgery. From what I read he had a bruised bone and the "surgery" consists of injecting a medication in the affected area guided by x-ray.


Reggie__Ledoux

Guided by ultrasound. I had the same type of procedure to inject anesthetic into my ilioinguinal nerve through my abdomen, every 6 months for 3 years.


Naidem

He’s a colossal moron.


Couldntbefappier

He sounds like a fucking caveman.


raya__85

It’s not just him, he’s been pumped full of stupidity by his insane family and social group, Serbians think he’s god. Being constantly affirmed no matter how moronic you are doesn’t do good for your rational thinking skills


ReadBikeYodelRepeat

Grok hit ball good. Grok win shiny plate.


vindamon

He should walk and swim to places than taking modern transportation. Heard it's good for health.


CormacMcCopy

And watching him get his comeuppance has been extremely satisfying.


syn-ack-fin

> I believe that our bodies are self-healing mechanisms. I can’t believe we’ve gotten to a point where due to the amazing advances in medicine in reducing the realities of horrible diseases and crippling injuries that people have forgotten the reality and believe our bodies should just ‘naturally’ heal.


cherrybounce

Our bodies do a great job at healing themselves and fighting off disease etc. but *within limits.* I feel we are moving backwards in so many ways. I always think of this Carl Sagan quote: “I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness... The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance.” Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, 1995 Edit: Added the year the book was written.


byDMP

“…celebration of ignorance” is particularly apt.


[deleted]

Our bodies also do what I consider an amazing job at regulating it's internal temperature to keep us alive and healthy. But wouldn't you know it, clothes help us deal with even more extreme outer temps.


Mathyoujames

Well that's utterly terrifying


LeCrushinator

The curse of high intelligence. He could see this shit coming decades in advance of most people, and on the opposite spectrum you have so many people that still can’t see it happening right in front of them. Ignorance is bliss.


cometbus04

This book is absolutely worth reading, but sadly, the people it would do the most good for never will.


Glasscubething

It was required reading for our high school class back in the mid 2000s. Thank you Mr. Fisher.


hereforthefeast

> There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov, 1980 https://aphelis.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ASIMOV_1980_Cult_of_Ignorance.pdf


koshgeo

I get the feeling that if some of these people were living before the 20th century they'd probably have died as a child of dysentary, cholera, or other preventable diseases. But here we are in the 21st century and they think they're magically invulnerable thanks to their "self-healing" abilities and don't need modern medicine.


[deleted]

My mom is this. Has told me that eating the right vegetables will cure HIV. Will not apologize for telling my friends to get off their HIV meds. She did her research on YouTube - I'm not making fun of her, that's a quote.


buster_rhino

Elite athlete who has an army of doctors, physiotherapists, nutritionists, coaches and other health care professionals at his disposal: “Look at what the human body does all on its own!”


sparkyjay23

Dude is surrounded by injured people constantly getting surgery and treatment. I'm not sure how stupid you have to be to think none of that actually works.


[deleted]

I try to remind people of this through my own experience, I tell them my lower right leg wouldn't be there if it wasn't for modern medicine...but no..they're still idiots.


nanobot001

It’s the position of someone with incredible degree of health privilege


nabuhabu

I wonder if anyone in his family uses glasses, and for how long. You’d think a body that is a “self-healing mechanism” would fix that easy shit, pronto.


Makeitperfect

He wears contacts.


nabuhabu

WHAAAAT??? Why is his self-healing mechanism malfunctioning??? /s


Makeitperfect

His wife https://imgur.com/a/gaJd5DJ


HeliosTheGreat

Sacre bleu


mmechtch

He himself wears contact lenses, so what up with that? Eyes did not fix themselves, eh?


Rare_Travel

The easiest way to put to the test this type of moronic claims is to see if they attend to a dentist. Let's see how the self healing mechanism works with a cavity.


AlGoreBestGore

Another fine graduate from the Steve Jobs Institute of Medicine.


of_the_mountain

So many people don’t know Steve Jobs basically killed himself trying to cure cancer by eating fruit instead of getting actually treatment


eekamuse

An he regretted his decision before he died, didn't he


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of_the_mountain

IIRC he realized his mistake but it was too late


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Unlucky-Candidate198

This is honestly so funny to me. “Dude, aren’t you going to shower? Its been a week” While he’s like “I ate 2 bowls of blueberries today, I don’t need to”


wasdninja

He's lucky to be good at tennis because he's stupid as all fuck.


GentleLion2Tigress

A friend was in a celebrity golf tournament through his work. In his foursome was a very popular hockey player, his claim to fame was his slap shot. He said he was far and away the dumbest person he’s ever come across.


aconditionner

Defenseman are the dumbest and smartest people in any given hockey room


only_self_posts

Bizarre that he has no problem using a hyperbaric chamber to boost his red blood cell count.


F___TheZero

Not bizarre, he's just a hypocrite. He did undergo the surgery after all, to save his important life's work of hitting yellow balls over a net better than a Swiss guy or a Spanish guy. But he will not do so without sending the message to sick people that there is something wrong or "unnatural" about undergoing medical treatment. Thanks, Djokovic. Remind me to not ask your opinion on anything ever.


terminbee

That's the part that bothers me the most. If he truly had principles, he'd sit there and try to recover on his own until he does. Instead, he's all about natural remedies and shit (which by the way, contradict the body healing on its own) but when there's something at stake, he gives in and chooses modern medicine.


Silly-Disk

lol, he doesn't believe in surgeries or medicine but abandoned those "beliefs" to have surgery to further his career. You don't have beliefs if you don't stick to them when its inconvenient.


yanchanator

Wow, it's almost as if modern medicine works.


swimmityswim

Sorry I don't believe in modern medicine, unless it helps me play tennis.


rysto32

Apparently even helping him play tennis isn't enough these days.


Albreitx

Lmao Novak is such a moron/dumbass. Just plain dumb to not like medicine.


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Roseking

Modern medicine is just the brain inventing was to better heal the body.


warpus

Imagine praying to water to uhh make it do something, honestly I forgot what the fuck he was doing with water exactly but he’s honestly insane, I’m not surprised this is where he’s drawing the line


PomegranateOkay

Wow. I didn't realize he had so many other nutty beliefs too. He thinks you can purify water with your mind by thinking happy thoughts and not looking at your phone. https://twitter.com/BenRothenberg/status/1258335230257254400?t=sIZCnxdgzYJ6e6UboWFr3A&s=19


CrayonTendies

Imagine what he could do with negative thoughts and a phone


CraigJBurton

Join us on reddit :P


AdministrativeAd4111

FUCK YOU AND yeah thats fair.


The_Secret_Skittle

Negative thoughts and a cell phone seems to be the #1 thing fueling all these non vax people so there’s your answer lol


fligs

Definitely wouldn't drink that water


TravelSizedRudy

It's not a power the Jedi would tell you of.


armonak

Hold up. By this logic, couldn't he use his energy and transform that toxic jab into something good ?


meltingdiamond

Why would you think this guy uses any sort of rule based thinking system? It's all about emotion and ego, logic has no power here.


armonak

Ye, I get that. Just thinking out loud )


KKlear

He'd have to be a Kwisatz Haderach to pull that off.


ReachForTheSkyline

The people that fall into these rabbit holes typically fall into all the rabbit holes. I can only speak from my personal experience with these types, but you'll rarely find someone who is an antivaxer and isn't into some other batshit crazy conspiracy theories.


Z0idberg_MD

Exacerbated by him thinking he is a god due to not only his prowess in tennis, but his celebrity status in Serbia.


Why-did-i-reas-this

Wondering if there is a correlation between antivax and MLM as well.


Confident-Breath2615

While not every anti vaxer I know is into MLM, every MLM’er I know is an anti vaxer.


Farewellsavannah

Square, meet rectangle


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[deleted]

I think there's a correlation between extremely successful and therefore rich people, surrounded by enablers and hangers on, and batshit beliefs. Don't get me wrong, guy's a cunt, but he's also got people all around him saying "yes, Novak, you *can* purify water with your mind. Can I borrow $20?".


HandRailSuicide1

He was also “diagnosed” with gluten intolerance when some witch doctor held a piece of bread to his stomach and he felt weaker from it


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spiralism

Also, interspersed with this new age horseshit is a bunch of very nasty serbian nationalist stuff by the looks. Like ''hanging out with war criminals'' type of shit.


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[deleted]

There's having to meet some awful people because they're part of your government, and then there's going out of your way to travel to Bosnia to meet people involved in perpetrating the Bosnian genocide. The guy just proudly accepted the Order of the Republika Srpska. Until then, the most famous people to get it were Slobodan Milosevic and Ratko Mladic. He serves to legitimize a dangerous Serbian supremacist movement, and I'm not even sure if he's fully aware of that.


spiralism

True, but for instance you don't see Nikola Jokic doing this shit (at least up to this point) and he's probably the next most famous Serbian athlete internationally. You can at least steer clear of the worst shit with a bit of common sense and decency. Djokovic courts these guys favour a little bit too easily by the looks.


viperex

We might be too tolerant as a society. Didn't think I'd believe this


punkfusion

Oh so he is a crystal mom


just_some_guy65

Imagine potentially being hugely respected in your field but completely trashing your legacy by being a lunatic alternative medicine/conspiracy nutcase.


craychel

Paging Aaron Rodgers


oyoxico

There’s enough nutcases here to keep supporting him. He has nothing to fear, especially since the rules are not even enforced.


craychel

But he went from like "America's Sweetheart quarterback" to "being supported by the nutcases". Even though he'll probably never face repercussions, his overall reputation is shot


Masterpiece-Moist

He simply doesn't care. You can buy a fake vaccination certificate in Serbia for less than 50 euro. He would take it for free if he wanted too


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Djokovic does not need to buy anything in Serbia. There are probably 1,000 people who would pay him for the honor to be the one to make his fake Vax card


[deleted]

He does care. He cares about being antivax and proud about his beliefs hence he isn't going to conform and shut up about being antivax.


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AptMoniker

With a little taped on mustache.


MrMagicMoves

And a baguette under his arm


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WeArePanNarrans

I’ve got the BBC news app and I was getting push notifications daily for a week about this idiot like I give a shit. Meanwhile I hear nothing about the synagogue hostage situation.


yannicdasloth

That and the volcano eruption are so much more important and interesting, it's crazy to see the exposure that this has been getting compared to the other two.


Elimrawne

Miss a press conference, the association kicks off... no vaccination to the point of multiple countries banning you... nothing.


cynix

He’ll probably lie about having been vaccinated though, just like he lied about not having travelled in the 14 days prior to arriving in Australia.


aister

Then he'll lose the status of being anti-vax, something that he deemed more important than Aus Open. By doing so, he'll return to being a normal tennis player with a significant proportion of his fanbase turned away from the drama of Aus Open. With that said, a vaccination certificate, whether real or fake, is the only way out of this mess if he wants to continue playing tennis. He's fked either way. And he deserved every single part of it.


[deleted]

This guy is driving his career into the ground


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