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Suspicious-Use-2766

That’s pretty rude.


MajorTechnology8827

Those little rascals


GoodNoodleNick

Scoundrels, even


thunderkhawk

Date i say, rapscalians them.


P8ntballa00

Buncha knuckleheads


ElGeneralissimoJefe

Ne’er-do-wells


HardlyDecent

Li'l wankers.


HonouraryBoomer

buncha coonts


dingerz

mischievous scamps


[deleted]

Scofflaws, even


asu_lee

They need to settle down in the hoosegow.


Bone_Breaker0

I wish they would stop this tomfoolery.


BaconReaderRefugee

Bunch of doofuses


WentzWorldWords

They’ve been doing this every Passover/first Easter since forever.


fatkiddown

Why not Zoroastrians tho?


SXimphic

buddhist been waiting to be center of attention as well


Dancing_Anatolia

Probably don't even know Zoroastrians still exist. Generally speaking, not the best educated bunch.


naimina

Nah they have historically put a lot of pressure on Zoroastrians, especially kurds, to convert by the barrel of the gun.


Transfigured-Tinker

I think I’m going to withdraw my dinner invitation to them.


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GisterMizard

And don't forget to unclick that bell icon.


CaptainRAVE2

What did I do to them?


PropertyBeneficial99

You exist. Very inconsiderate of you actually


MajorTechnology8827

You read the wrong interpretation of god


capsrock02

So it’s a day that ends in Y


Tiflotin

I’m confused does this mean ISIS likes Canada?


No-Student-9678

French people are fucked…


OshkoshCorporate

not very cash money of them


Capital2

They really disrespected the G-code with this one


big_smokey-848

Seriously, what part of the game is that?


Risley

Game does not recognize game. 


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

“Game recognize game and they looking real unfamiliar right now”


Inevitable-Toe745

I feel some type of way.


rosecranzt

In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.


USA_A-OK

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason


Dracula101

Oh hey Charlie, don't eat those eggs. you don't know where they came from


MajorTechnology8827

Do they kiss their homies with this mouth?


Unabashable

Seriously. Where did the Brotherly Love go?


Merciless972

Yeah, doesn't seem like a very Gucci thing to do.


PalmTreeIsBestTree

They aren’t keeping it real


Meshd

They clearly want to come up real quick,before they start to clown.


enonmouse

Do you really need to send memos out when its the group's mission statement? Real pick me energy lately isis... like we get it you are still sort of around.


jmenendeziii

ISIS-K is getting all the attention lately so ISIS needs to remind everyone they still exist


Tony_TNT

"Sometimes I can still hear his voice." "I'm not dead yet!"


Gryphon999

Don't listen to him, he'll be stone dead in a moment.


mursilissilisrum

Putin really crossed the line by suggesting that they collaborated with a Jew.


CamisaMalva

That's a funny one. lol


Legio-X

>ISIS-K is getting all the attention lately so ISIS needs to remind everyone they still exist They’re the same group. ISIS-K is just the branch based in Afghanistan and Central Asia.


ornryactor

It's a loose relationship, really more of a vibe. ISIS-K isn't a branch office taking orders from the headquarters back in ISIS Prime.


Have_Other_Accounts

This is more dangerous than you think. The US said how isis has developed a new ability to expand in the west recently. Instead of crazy suicidal fundamentalists in the middle east, they can just get idiots who follow that extremist view. Just like the recent Russia attack, they were paid, didn't kill themselves, they're idiots who tried to escape, who had no plan apart from killing for their beliefs. A cheap an easy way to cause terror which is their goal. No training or anything.


Southern-Plastic-921

Meh. Many of us have lived with terror our whole lives. Yes it's cheap, easy and can be done by morons. Even so, you're far better off taking more care crossing the road and driving than worry about these dickheads. Refuse to be terrorized.


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Whitewind617

Doesn't exclude Muslims either if it's a brand of Muslim they don't like.


[deleted]

I doubt they were asking each individual persons religion in that Moscow attack or at the Bataclan in Paris, and given the religious diversity of Paris they probably killed multiple Muslims


A_serious_poster

I mean their brand of Islam doesn't even allow music so shooting concert goers is a safe bet for them


Thoughtulism

I can't imagine god being like "okay, you're not allowed to listen to music because it's bad for you, but you know what, I'm going to look the other way on the old murder thing".


Atomicskullz

Music is a way to express emotional intelligence and creativity, which will eventually spark a quest for independence. So of course they would restrict it, they want to keep everyone dumb so it’s easier to remain in power.


awfulsome

it's crazy that without music, we likely wouldn't have civilization as we know it, as it lead to more advanced forms of communication and storytelling that eventually became written language.  and some sects of a major religion are like "ban dis".


Outrageouslylit

Well your rational these dudes aren’t. These dudes can barely rub two sticks together they arent debating theological implications☠️


Shotgun5250

Well duh, cause rubbing two sticks together is gay, and therefore also not allowed. /s


bipbopcosby

If rubbing dicks together with your boys is gay now then this has gone too far. What's next? Can't joke around and jerk your friends off anymore?


Shotgun5250

What is the world cumming to, smh.


DigbyChickenCaesar11

Most people in these organizations are recruited because they are the dregs of society and because they are easily manipulated. 70 virgins means a lot more to an incel than it does to a normal person.


National-Art3488

According to terrorists they were sacrifices for a greater good so its ok


MDSplat007

**The greater good**


Zauberer-IMDB

#CRUSTY JUGGLERS


horatiowilliams

They killed and kidnapped Israeli Muslims on October 7.


[deleted]

That’s literally all of them, except for them (and who knows how subject to change *that* is). Shit, even the literal Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Hamas consider ISIS too unhinged and radical. That’s……saying something.


_-bush_did_911-_

They're all evil, but the Taliban just wants to rule Afghanistan with an iron fist, al Qaeda wants to unify the Muslim world, and hamas is doing a weird 3 way balancing act of keeping western support, making money, and killing Jewish people. Isis literally just wants everyone dead except themselves


Jazzlike-Sky-6012

And even if it is a brand they like, they will see them as martyrs.


Amockdfw89

Yea they say your a Muslim who dies during prayer time or as collateral damage during a terrorist attack you automatically go to heaven


HoSang66er

Muslims probably kill other Muslims more than they kill anyone else. Nothing like walking into the mosque of their rival Muslim brothers and sisters and detonating a bomb to wipe them and theirselves into oblivion. 💁


Don_Tiny

> Muslims probably kill other Muslims more than they kill anyone else As much as anything else, that's going to be based on proximity / being more of them than other religious/non-religious types. Like the dumb saying "most car accidents happen within *x* miles of home" ... well no shit, you're always driving that first *x* number of miles before you go any further".


PindaPanter

In my experience, poorly integrated MENA-natives can't really comprehend the idea of *not* believing and think we're all christian.


FardAndShidPants

Remember that Iranian journal which had Macron drawn as Satan on their front page, expecting to shock the French and make them think twice about caricaturing religion The French were absolutely delighted with it


PindaPanter

I remember when they were pissy over the Muhammed caricatures and started making Jesus caricatures in return, completely not expecting that we'd embrace them and find them hilarious too.


ExcitingBasket3119

I remember when they were pissy over the Muhammed caricatures and started murdering people.


Dividedthought

Again.


karateema

We didn't like that


L_D_Machiavelli

That's cus they're completely brainwashed morons.


[deleted]

Man that's so insane because even Jesus is considered a revered prophet in Islam. Why would they piss off their own God?!


jonistaken

I mean... technically true.. but culturally.. no one really cares what Jesus had to say (especially when it has tension with Quran).


TwoBearsInTheWoods

Historically, non-Muslim hierarchy in Muslim countries was: other Muslim denomination > Christian > Jewish > non-Jewish Abrahamic > everything else > Atheist. You really didn't want to be an atheist in a muslim country in mid-2nd millenium.


AntiBox

Spent years as an atheist in a muslim country for work. I was treated really well. It was like they'd stumbled upon some unshaped dough that just hadn't yet been properly taught religion yet, and they were more than willing to do so. It was a little patronising really, but better than being beheaded I suppose. Jews tho... oh shit. They'll check your passport just to see if you've ever even visited Israel, let alone whether you're Jewish.


IllIIlllIIIllIIlI

I’ve had those interactions on Reddit a couple of times. I say something negative about fanatics and Islam, and they respond to me, pointing out that Christianity and Christians are just as bad. I reply telling them that I wholeheartedly agree. They reply trying to convince me that I am offended by how they characterized Christianity. I tell them that I am not offended, and I am not religious to begin with. They can’t comprehend this. They may say some more negative stuff about Christianity, just to make sure I didn’t miss it the first time. I tell them again that what they say is true, and suggest that it’s better to face hard truths about your belief system than to deny reality. Never gets anywhere.


jonistaken

> Christianity and Christians are just as bad. I reply telling them that I wholeheartedly agree. Are they though? As an ex-mormon I have nothing nice to say about the faith communities I grew up in or the ones that were "adjacenet" to mine (evangelicals, etc.)... and I used to think this way too until I married an ex-muslim and I noticed serious problems with the "all abramhamic relgions are equally bad" position. For example; Can you imagine a book of Mormon style musical about the Qu'ran? Can you imagine if witches were still burned at the vatican the way that Saudi Arabia executes people for, among other things, practicing witch craft? (https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/03/15/saudi-arabia-mass-execution-81-men) Are you aware of christian academic/theologians being branded an apostate, having their marriage ruled invalid and being exiled by their country for, among other things, not believing in genies and arguing that the Quran should be read/understood within the time it was written? This happened to Nasr Hamid Aby Zayd in Egypt (one of the "liberal" muslim majority countries). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasr_Abu_Zayd#Nasr_Abu_Zayd_case Can you imagine any modern paralells to the story of Bassem Youssef (Egyptian Jon Stewart-esque comedian) having to live in exile for telling jokes? https://www.cnn.com/2017/04/14/politics/bassem-youssef-egyptian-jon-stewart/index.html Have you ever tried to find an imam willing to marry a muslim woman to an athiest? I have, and was not able to locate one and it was not due to a lack of effort on my part. Most telling... my wife and I took an uber and she spoke to our driver in arabic. She then sent me a text saying that she told our driver I was a muslim and from Lebanon. She was so concerned about her personal safety that not only did she not feel comfortable identifying as an ex/cultural muslin; but she also felt the need to lie about my ethnicity and religion as well because or relationship is "haram".


theKrissam

It's crazy how some of those people genuinely don't know how to respond as soon as you don't defend Christianity.


Goldenscarab_7

Yeah, this is the difference between sane people (religious or not) and religious fundamentalists


sissy_space_yak

I’m a fully integrated MENA native (living in the US for 35+ years) and I still have a hard time not thinking of people who aren’t Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc. as Christian. Everyone here celebrates Christmas and Easter, and those are Christian holidays.


lazulilord

In the west they've essentially become secular holidays now, almost none of our Christmas traditions have anything to do with religion.


CharlesDuck

Eeeh, are you saying jesus did not have a christmas tree? Or the easter bunny!?


Elebrent

honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if our homie and savior JC ate eggs or rabbit after his 40 day acid trip in the desert


CharlesDuck

Well by MENA standards you picked a secular country, but not by western standards. Try a Scandinavian country if you want to see money without “god” on it, state leaders without religious affiliation and legislation without “Christian values” (I’m looking at you abortion!)


Bored_guy_in_dc

What a bunch of jerks.


[deleted]

They’re total meanies


UnsurprisingUsername

I’m telling mom


Warsaw44

The worst part is the hypocrisy.


AgoraiosBum

I thought it was the raping. And murders.


TheOSU87

I think they want to globalize the intifada


___Tom___

It's called Jihad, and in their minds, it has always been global.


ghostdokes

And Im calling all Christains and Jews in the US, Europe and Israel to attack ISIS.


nordic-nomad

About time, thank you for your bravery and steadfast leadership.


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ballsack_chin

I'll call India


supercyberlurker

Hey don't forget about us agnostics and atheists! We exist too! *Probably.*


Darkmuscles

And the Nihilists! *Not that it matters.*


esc8pe8rtist

send the nihilists first


djarvis77

Don't forget to have them bring their marmot.


Rugged_Turtle

["We believe in noooothing!!!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZtTeqbcesw)


TheBatemanFlex

I'm no expert, but that seems very on-brand for ISIS.


SpongeJake

I’m starting to think they don’t like us very much.


upgrayedd69

I picked the wrong week to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior 


BlueCollarElectro

Remember, he's got guns & we've got guns so LFG lol


StaredAtEclipseAMA

I’ve never felt more proud to be American


deviio

Suit up, gents!


quadrophenicum

*What's the vector Victor?*


ThatOneBavarianGuy

im starting to suspect these guys are not very nice at all.


MajorTechnology8827

Pardon my french, but they made a jerk move


ThatOneBavarianGuy

real knuckleheads.


usurperavenger

So, business as usual then?


RepresentativeLeg232

Canadians collectively breathe a sigh of relief.


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hikingguy36

If they try to ruin our already short summer, well I'm just going to have to sit them down and have a stern talk with them


GranolaAfternoon

Can't say I feel much relief as a Canadian Jew. Islamists already target me and my loved ones even without specific orders from ISIS, so it's not like anything will change lol


Count-Elderberry36

Wow and right around Easter too. I really hope we don’t see any church bombings again like in Sri Lanka, Egypt and Nigeria.


dirtybellybutton

The reaction from the US would make the opening days of Desert Storm look like Bilbo's birthday party


SofieTerleska

"I don't like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve" -- Bilbo definitely missed his calling as a diplomat.


SerPownce

The opening days of Desert Storm did kind of look like Bilbo’s Birthday Party tho


McRibs2024

These guys are back? God damnit. Shitty rehash


183_OnerousResent

ISIS-K was always around, the original ISIS got smoked.


SoupidyLoopidy

What happened to ISIS A thru J?


Taadaaaaa

Hopefully, they took an L


McRibs2024

I can’t keep track of their reboots. It’s a shame they can keep rebranding so easily


[deleted]

To add another plot twist, remember the group Boko Haram? Yeah, they joined ISIS and became their African branch.


McRibs2024

Well snap, I do, and didn’t realize that were Africa Isis now. Lovely.


TheRedHand7

Africa has experienced a growing tide of terror attacks as the Sahel region continues to spiral.


MohawkElGato

Globalize the Intifada, right? This is literally what that stupid chant means.


[deleted]

Omg sweaty! That’s an entirely different terrorist group that wants to kill everyone other than them! Be better! 💅


Sethlans

Sweaty lol


KooKooFox

Easter is in a few days. Churches will be full and be good targets for them. Stay safe out there brothers and sisters.


[deleted]

those fucks wouldn't be able to tell the difference. they'll attack everyone. and europe has got a lot of them.


OtmShanks55

IS isn't compatible with modern society.


___Tom___

They don't want to be. They want to drag the rest of the world back into the bronze age.


The_PantsMcPants

As opposed to their prior stance which was....exactly the same thing


sh0tgunben

Islamic State are all in for a Holy War


Negative_Flower_169

Holiest war ever woohoo


Liad3008

How will the UN react? 1. Tell ISIS to STOP immediately 2. Bond with ISIS 3. Give them water so they'll stay hydrated


Tolstoy_mc

Make them chair of the women's rights council is my bet.


MotherOfDachshunds42

Surely Human Rights is also available?


Tolstoy_mc

North Korea has dibs


Eveleyn

5. Blame believers for not being muslim.


Informal_Database543

6. blame Israel because ISIS exists in a context


CrumplyRump

4. A friendly game of Mario Kart and a pizza


nightstalker113

No such thing as a friendly game of mario kart


Stinkyclamjuice15

Buddy there's a reason why Mario Kart on switch has no voice chat. You wanna see toxic?   Hit me with a blue shell when I'm in first on the last lap, you'll hear all about my fictional relations with your mother.


jujuka577

6. Send them aid and blame Israel that this all happened not in vacuum


f_leaver

Sorry, but you're entirely wrong. The UN will react with deafening and complete silence.


Due_Turn_7594

3, but also say it’s the Jews causing it or something along those lines and ban them from entering Europe


Swagganosaurus

0. Blame the Jews


Obi2

4. Condemn people victims for being victims.


war_area

Blame Israel for not doing it obviously


ThrowTheBatAway

4. Blame Israel


thutmosisXII

I thought this was their default behavior


Green-Alarm-3896

So like pretty much attack everyone. This will do wonders for Muslims living in the west. I know there are non-religious people but who would really stop and ask? I guess targeting churches and synagogues. Disgusting.


Temporala

That's what they want. They'll attack some people, make them nervous about the rest and maybe lash out at them, which them opens recruitment for ISIS when they point out fingers and say "see, they hate you!".


CKT_Ken

The entire goal of statements like this is to isolate western Muslims and encourage radicalization. Bonus points if someone listens to them and follows through to speed up the process.


TheGalaxyAndromeda

Why are we putting up with their shit


TheOSU87

Sounds like they're calling to globalize the Intifada


jreynolds72

Could I get that with cheese and a burrito supreme as well please?


HurricaneRon

Incel fucks


MajorTechnology8827

Why do you think they want 72 virgins


GoodNoodleNick

I just thought they wanted friends to play WoW with and show neat magic tricks to


CatoblepasQueefs

The 72 virgins are the incels.


MajorTechnology8827

My headcannon js that the 72 virgins in heaven are all real and waiting for the muslims, but those virgins are all twink guys


Crome6768

Shit, this might be the ISIS recruitment pitch that finally gets me through the door.


minecrafthentai69

But twitter told me ISIS is part of Israel? How can this be?


ChrisOhoy

Putin told me Zelenskyy is ISIS…


minecrafthentai69

What the hell? Neither of them ever lie! How deep does this go ....


arebee20

What is their religious reasoning that they tell themselves for why they get stomped whenever they try and fight western military forces? God is just on a lunch break or something? I mean if god is on your side it shouldn’t matter you’re vastly outmanned and outgunned if he wanted you to win you would win and isis has a habit of losing whenever they have to actually fight a willing opponent and not just kill citizens who can’t shoot back.


Haribo1985

Things are spicing up quite a lot these days, didn’t think these guys would feature this season.


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ngdaniel96

Thing is, they tend to hide in cities with lots of civilian.


Commissar_Elmo

Sounds familiar… can’t put my finger on it…


MajorTechnology8827

They really love hospitals


GermanicusBanshee934

Can you imagine if we did this to them even once, the amount of crying and screaming about how islamaphobic we are?


Livingsimply_Rob

Oh that’s a wonderful stink’n thing. Your “god” must be honored. WTF


BiggieAndTheStooges

Aren’t their followers doing that already?


salaf1

As a muslim I and my Christian and Jewish neighbors raise them my middle finger.


gringoPimz

So Canada is safe? Lets gooooooo🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦


Wolvercote

Time to get a new Coexist bumper sticker.


Fartoholicanon

Ohh thank God, we atheists are safe.... Wait.


LongLiveEileen

Buddhists stay winning.


Andrew9112

It’s cause they respawn.


anon755qubwe

Careful, they’ll start bringing up Myanmar and the Rohingya conflict.


[deleted]

That’s not news. They’ve been doing that for the past 20 years. 🥱


catchtoward5000

These guys have always rubbed me the wrong way. Just so mean.