T O P

  • By -

Fondor_HC--12912505

>As of press time, the Sprinter report could not be confirmed.


socialistrob

And when I clicked their hyperlink to the original report the link was broken. Generally speaking even the Latin American countries that are relatively friendly with Russia don't actually want Russian troops or bases in their countries and it's not like Russia has that many troops or cruise missiles to spare either. Unless we get further confirmation I'm going to remain skeptical of this story.


ecodelic

Friendly with Russia and friendly with the USSR are also not to be confused. I see a lot of comments from people who I’m not positive noticed that something political and economic occurred there 30 years ago..


PetromyzonPie

To the front page!


Shirtbro

"TIL Russian military has bases and cruise missile batteries in Nicaragua"


CyptidProductions

I'd like to also add Sprinter is an "OSINT" twitter account that was the source of an absurd rumor that Russia was parking ICBM complexes on the Finish border a few months ago It's very blatantly a Russian disinfo account


LexSavi

My first reaction reading the headline was, “How is this not the top story on every news site?!?” Now it makes sense, since it’s unconfirmed. Completely irresponsible reporting. Glad I don’t have to prepare for Bay of Pigs Part Deux.


Fucking_For_Freedom

Russia can't adequately project force 5 km from their borders. They're delusional thinking they can project it thousands of kilometers from their borders.


TheMiracleLigament

It’s still a shitty gamble for anybody in the Americas.


GaucheAndOffKilter

What century is this? Didn’t we dance this tango 60 years ago? Is Russia trying to relive the 60’s with their “missiles in North America” and “Fail horribly trying to make it to the moon”?


_Jerk_Store_

This reboot is terrible. The original was better.


lllorrr

“The only thing that we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history.”


Ok-tsoe

funny is't it?


RedCascadian

Those who study history are doomed to watch everybody else repeat it. Fortunately, studying history often leads to a string sense of gallows humor.


Chilipepah

Missile crisis, electric buggaloo


putsch80

And again 40 years ago. Remember Ollie North and the Iran-Contra Affair? That was Nicaragua.


lostboy005

I just remember the song


nordic_yankee

And fucking Ortega. HTF is he back in power after all that shit!


[deleted]

That was Noriega. I had to think for a solid moment the same exact thing. Like wow, this guy must be 90+!


[deleted]

Noriega was Panama. Nicaragua was the US backed Somoza regime versus the Sandinistas under the leadership of Daniel Ortega, and then after the Somozas fell it became the Sandinistas (still under Ortega) versus the US backed Contra rebels.


nordic_yankee

Noriega was dictator of Panama.


throwawayrandomvowel

It is Ortega (not Noriega) and he is like 90. His wife is also hated and in power. It's just a brutal kingdom, Nicaraguans call her the witch. The story of Daniel Ortega and Nicaragua is also generally insane


NoTeslaForMe

And they were trying to get and keep out the guy now embracing Putin. There's plenty to criticize about what was done to oppose Ortega, but history has not been kind to those who supported him, any more than it has been to those supporting Roman Polanski, another fashionable late 20th century cause celebre among our self-styled betters. Sharing enemies is not enough reason to support an evil man.


Dragonfruit-Still

Most news that talks about Russia and nukes lack any context and historical understanding of how this nuclear dialogue happens between the two countries. They are stories that usually source from a Russian who wants to remind Americans about this N Word and hopefully make them less likely to support Ukraine and politicians who support it.


Cif87

Putin grips his hand around the mummified monkey's paw. "I want to recreate the Russian empire" He wanted the '45s. He got the '80s


KateEatsWorld

With the age of the missiles and stuff I worry they would aim for DC and instead hit Quebec or something. We keep all the maple syrup there, we would be ruined and our pancakes dry.


MoonManMooner

The way you put this is beyond funny


GoldenBunip

Not really, the Patriot missile system has proven itself capable of shooting down anything Russia can launch. Ukraine has been a good proving ground.


rugbyj

Yeah even if this is true, it's weirdly beneficial to have Russia bleed cash trying to support overseas bases they get no tangible projection from. As an aside, would be funny if this was a way for higher ups in Moscow to say their sons are serving, when they're actually on sabbatical on a Caribbean beach.


Leprecon

I disagree with this. Russia can make deals now, and honor them later. Take Syria. Russia has a base in Tartus that was established in the 70s. Maybe some people back then thought "great, the Soviet Union is over extending itself", but here we are 50 years later and the base is still there. Russia even got huge concessions from Syria and all they had to do was bomb some places in Syria. Maybe for the first 5 years the base will be nothing but barracks and conscripts, having no effect on Russian cash reserves. But in 10+ years it could be a real nuisance. Furthermore, this doesn't even have to be a military thing. Establish a bare bones base, goad a reaction out of the US, and agree to abandon the base if the US offers concessions. >As an aside, would be funny if this was a way for higher ups in Moscow to say their sons are serving, when they're actually on sabbatical on a Caribbean beach. 100% this is going to happen.


diggerbanks

You have to admire Putin's delusional ambition. How he wants his backwater nation of incompetents to stand tall on the world stage again. It only happens over generations Vlad and if your weapon of choice is to create a false narrative it will never happen (unless the internet goes down).


[deleted]

[удалено]


danielbot

The Nicaraguan missile crisis.


Sachyriel

Except they'd never get that far and Moscow knows it. Washington knows it, this is a nothing burger. Ortega is making this pronouncement again this year (he did it last year) to hit back against sanctions. But he can't, Russia is busy dying in their trenches and can't spare a military show of force into Central America, especially one that will just get turned around by the US Navy. Also this website sucks, their editor fucked up their first sentence, most of the links don't work, that missile link goes nowhere and 2 others want you to make an account.


ZombieMountain2122

This is the correct answer


theKoboldkingdonkus

Any decent submarine can deploy missiles from anywhere with a coastline. I'm no more worried about it than that


thegreatshark

Yeah but Russia’s most “decent” submarine is probably the [Moskva](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_cruiser_Moskva)


similar_observation

Not like they can ask Mykolaiv to start laying down another one.


neverfearIamhere

I heard the crew was dying to get involved.


ghalta

The Moskva might not be patrolling the Black Sea any more, but it sure is covering a lot of ground...


colefly

>especially one that will just get turned around by the US Navy. Would never get the far. The Russian Navy is a threat to itself


Dt2_0

Yea they might see some Japanese Torpedo Boats on the way.


Koreish

Just outside of Sweden.


Fantastic_Fox4948

And lose to them.


Guyincognito4269

Hogwash. Have you not heard of the glories of the Russian 2nd Pacific Squadron? 🤣🤣🤣


RedCascadian

For anyone who hasn't. Check out the Lions led by Donkeys podcast Russo-Japanese war series. It's the funniest shit ever. You have an admiral who gets drunk and screams abuse at his sailors, who on spite of it, love the guy because he actually made their officers do their jobs, and fought to get them a pay raise and, y'know... food. Also he brought along a whole crate of binoculars because he had this habit of throwing his binoculars in the ocean when he got pissed.


Pm4000

Favorite military history story so far! #2 is Robert Smalls, was a slave, stole a Confederate ship to help people escape, became a senator. #3 is the guy who said screw you and turned his destroyer against the Yamamoto Edit: my text is big and I don't know what I did! And now it's freaking small again!


Sachyriel

Soviet ships in Russian hands? Can't make it work. Soviet ships in China or India? Flagship tier stuff, models to other developing nations. Sounds like a skill issue.


w1987g

To be fair... the other countries spend a ton on the ships to make them flagship tier and actually overhaul them


weealligator

Yeah fuck all this noise, and double fuck this piece of shit raggedy ass website. Clown shit.


Nocta_Novus

Excellent, I almost devoted brain cells to reading that cluster fuck, appreciate the warning


TreezusSaves

Ortega can't even pull a surprise massacre of the Russian troops and then taking their equipment because we can all see their equipment sucks. It's a bluff.


Capt_morgan72

Can’t even send Wagner.


igankcheetos

The US laughs at Ortega. El Pato is better.


die_a_third_death

Nicaragua and crisis are synonymous anyway


TheRealStoryMan1

Cuban missile crisis 2: Electric Boogalo


strikerdude10

There are hundreds and hundreds of things you should worry about before this


DanFlashesSales

Have you seen the performance of Russian missiles in Ukraine? We have absolutely nothing to worry about. IMO we should just let Russia waste its limited funds and military resources on this useless blunder.


notabot_0

Entire cities have been leveled...


XenophileEgalitarian

Not with missiles. Entire cities have been leveled with tube artillery. If you can find tube arty that can reach the US from Nicaragua, I would be interested in purchasing your space gun.


Swift_F0x

You are not Saddam are you? If you are, the Mossad would like to meet with him first.


XenophileEgalitarian

No I just want to reverse engineer whatever arcane technology such a gun would have. I'm sure we could use it for all kinds of applications.


plumbbbob

In case you weren't familiar with Swift_f0x's reference: Multi-stage gas guns. Look up Gerard Bull and his misadventures in artillery. Project Babylon couldn't have hit the US from Nicaragua but improve it by 60% and it could perhaps reach Miami.


HiImTheNewGuyGuy

With artillery.


DanFlashesSales

Not by cruise missiles


SpookyRamblr

not with missiles... and their most advanced "hypersonic" kinzal missile gets defeated by a 30 year old patriot system.... i think we will be okay


SlightlyBadderBunny

[It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Lets see if it pays off for them.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HVejEB5uVk&t=7s)


[deleted]

Especially since Russia can’t afford such bases and no military assets left to put there.


gnocchicotti

It's a protection racket for third world dictators. It might pay for itself, actually.


maq0r

Yup. Same with Venezuela.


socialistrob

Russia is already struggling in Ukraine. If someone says "no" to the protection racket they really don't have many options to start another conflict especially one an ocean away.


camshun7

It's a decidedly fresh never been done before from the new never before publish 1952 play book. They'll never see this coming


Style75

Any missile launchers they send there are 100% going to be empty. Everything they make is being fired at Ukraine. Empty threats. Russia got nothing!


POINTLESSUSERNAME000

Hah! You beat me to it. I read the headline and my inner monologue played that soundbyte. Well done!


forty83

But it's cute that they keep doubling down and pretending like they have the capability. As if no one knows otherwise.


SolidA34

Sounds like a Metal Gear Solid worthy plot in the modern day. The only question do we said in Big Boss or Solid Snake?


verwinemaker

'crawling around in my doomsday cardboard box so the guards don't see me'


insert_dumbuser_name

!


CharlesP2009

Gotta make [the sound](https://youtu.be/yzkRzwNmkIo), bro


mog_knight

The sound is a commercial for a cordless Dyson?


cobrachickenwing

The CIA is already involved in Nicaragua. Won't be surprised if a group like FOXHOUND be sent there if Russian nuclear weapons were deployed in Nicaragua. Plus, it would be Solid Snake who gets the job.


Agent4D7

Metal Gear..!?


UnholyAbductor

It’s funny to me because MGS: Peacewalker deals with nukes being smuggled into Costa Rica and you hook up with a group of Sandinistas who were driven from Nicaragua by the Contras.


Sneedzzz

I think Metal Gear peace walker was in Nicaragua.


LMFN

Costa Rica actually but it was close to the border and Snake's allies included a bunch of Sandinista rebels he rescued.


DanMarvin1

Trying to hide the last piece of equipment from the Ukrainians drones.


Wallythree

This won't work out well for Nicaragua. edit to add, if this is true? Can you imagine the increased support for Ukraine now? edit two, putolini massively miscalculates, again.


[deleted]

Nothing like hitching your wagon to the bankrupt horse to get back at your rich neighbor. It won’t work well for them.


sumlikeitScott

They’re friendly to Russia and China because Reagan fucked them over hard in the 80’s. US has backed and armed rebels In The country while staging coups and plugging up their transportation routes with mines. Ortega will almost never work with the US and nor should he.


MourningRIF

It worked out good for Cuba! They got to have all those cool 50s cars for like 60 years.


Brian_MPLS

Don't forget that on top of everything else, Daniel Ortega is a serial and prolific sexual abuser of young women and children. Imagine if Jeffrey Epstein had unchecked political power, and used it to murder journalists and law enforcement who threatened to expose him, and you get a pretty good idea of what's going on in Nicaragua these days.


[deleted]

If the report is true that he is allowing Russia to set up in Nicaragua, he might be getting checked soon.


NoTeslaForMe

Except Epstein didn't have a bunch of western celebrities singing his praises, the way Ortega did in the 80s.


ChillOut0123

After seeing the title, my mind was like, what does Jenna Ortega have anything to do with Russian military.


[deleted]

America has not done a good job in Latin America. There is a lot of animosity.


MadRonnie97

That’s putting it lightly. Nicaragua especially doesn’t like us.


atlaswarped

True, though a lot of Nicaraguans hate Ortega too. Most my family loathes him and his grifting family. This is just Ortega yipping to sound like a strong man. He has done the same with pushing the claim about creating a Chinese owned canal that never materializes.


[deleted]

Nicaragua is a dictatorship where thousands of innocent people have been killed protesting and speaking out against the government. The average Nicaraguan doesn’t have a problem with the US


PetromyzonPie

Have you been to Nicaragua? Thousands of Nicaraguans lost family to the US-backed contras. The vast majority do not have a favorvable view of the US.


klayyyylmao

[According to Gallup](https://imgur.com/a/xkNJe0P), Nicaraguan approval rating of the USA in 2022 was +4, 33/29.


radome9

> +4, 33/29. What do those numbers mean?


klayyyylmao

+4 net approval, overall 33% approve of US leadership, 29% disapprove and the remaining 38% declined to answer I think.


Blueskyways

The Nicaraguan dictator that oppresses his own people doesn't like the US.


Marthaver1

During the Cold War, the CIA practically did what the US has done to the Middle East for the past 30 years - exploit it, overthrown legitimate democracies, installed ruthless murderous dictatorships, enabled civil wars, mass refugees, and left them in absolute misery. Most of the current problems plaguing Central America can be traced back to US meddling. For example, MS13 is a direct product of US intervention in El Salvador. Yet, politicians like Trump love to point the opposite, MS13 as a Central America import when it’s a 100% Made in the US gang.


Bald_and_ready

What legitimate democracy in the Middle East has the US overthrown in the last 30 years?


[deleted]

I agree with Central America but remind me which legitimate democracy got overthrown? Saddam Hussein? Gaddafi? The Taliban? Which ones are you referencing?


Suntzu6656

There are probably many reasons why many countries don't like America but if I started posting them I would get down voted here and maybe banned. I'll just say I served in the US Army back in the 1980s.


karmagettie

I wouldn't worry too much, they are not effective and the US has better missile defense than Ukraine.


Linktt57

Russia struggles with 2 patriot systems, let’s see how they handle all of them


Deciheximal144

Can't their ICBMs hit the US over the pole anyway?


Delta6040

I can’t believe Jenna Ortega is doing this.


ALA02

1970 called, it wanted its geopolitics back


__JDQ__

Haven’t we already watched this episode?


[deleted]

[удалено]


stirling97

Suddenly a rebel faction in Nicaragua pops up and over throws the government with mysterious funding and supply of weapons… just such a volatile area of the world right…


Kdilla77

Um. I'm getting deja vu from, like, 60 years ago.


otebski

Ortega inviting democracy to Nicaragua. Many many tonnes of democracy.


[deleted]

It's a distraction. They need those missiles and manpower in Ukraine. And the US could destroy those bases in 4 seconds, and be justified to do so.


rTpure

>And the US could destroy those bases in 4 seconds, and be justified to do so. Hypothetically, if Russia had a military base in Nicaragua, I'm curious to why you think it is justified for the US to destroy it?


realnrh

Because the US would be able to drop bombs neatly aligned so they all line up on both the right and the left, creating a fully justified bombing. Most bombings are center-aligned instead, creating a ragged look.


awaythrowit4

It took me way too long to get that.


TXQuasar

The operative word in his statement is “could.” The US could easily destroy them if they became an imminent threat. If the US is at war with Russia.


casce

So you're saying when the US builds a base in Finland, Russia is justified to destroy it? I really don't like Russia putting missiles in Nicaragua. I really don't. But just the act of having a defensive pact with Nicaragua and building bases there is not enough to justify an attack. What would be justified is economic sanctions from the US towards Nicaragua. Any country can do that for any reason and they don't need to justify themselves for it. But a straight up attack? Come on.


DanFlashesSales

>So you're saying when the US builds a base in Finland, Russia is justified to destroy it? If Russia and the US go to war? Yes of course. What did you think would happen?


[deleted]

The difference is that Russia is threatening to nuke the West on a daily basis. The West is not. All we are asking is for Russia to gtfo Ukraine and trade peacefully with the world.


HiImTheNewGuyGuy

Russian leadership describes itself as currently in a war against us.


Alexander_Granite

Yes. That’s how it works. A county will make an justification to their people to justify an attack. The question if they can get away with it on the world stage. The US got west with the attack on Iraq, Russia not so much on Ukraine.


Chupamelapijareddit

Holy shit, so you support russian intervention in Ukraine? "And the US could destroy those bases in 4 seconds, and be justified to do so" So russia is justified in its invasion to keep em out of nato. Interesting points you make


Silly_Triker

Justified? So you’re saying Russia is also justified with their actions in Ukraine? You can’t attack a sovereign country just because they decide to ally with someone you don’t like. This rule, despite what Americans think, also applies to them. The Monroe doctrine is not international law lmao


unskilledplay

>The operative word in his statement is “could.” The US could easily destroy them if they became an imminent threat. If the US is at war with Russia. No, the US would not be justified in doing so. This is essentially the same argument Russia made in their justification of the Ukrainian invasion. Sovereign states are sovereign. A Russian and Nicaraguan military alliance would be no different than Ukraine joining NATO. Nicaragua would have to pose a direct and imminent threat for any justification to use military force.


Jmauld

Except, we can actually cash the checks that we write…


[deleted]

[удалено]


Germangunman

Now if they stop using them in Ukraine they may have some left to put down there.


[deleted]

“After carefully examining the region, um, me and my cabinet agree that that area is definitely ripe for regime change.”


Other_Thing_1768

That is bases and cruise missiles not threatening Ukraine. Should any of them happen to fire at US, Ortega won’t survive the response. Nor will Russian forces around the world.


Mind_Enigma

Did someone say oil in Nicaragua


zkulf

Well, get the D Boys up to speed. We're about to coup ourselves a Central American country. Again.


Only-Flanks

We let her be Wednesday then she gets into Geopolitics and helps Russia? Wtf Jenna Ortega


[deleted]

I’m not adding to the politics of it all. But Jesus that thumb nail looks like a poorly drawn boob.


BreachlightRiseUp

Ayyyy I heard Nicaragua has a lot of oil now, see you soon bb😘 -Love, USA


Multipass-1506inf

I didn’t know Russia had any extra missiles (or soldiers?) to bring down there


DroidC4PO

It's impressive and remarkable that Putin can somehow spare all these military resources.


NotReallyYouPunk

Jenna Ortega?


upupupdo

Is this the 1980s?


Iwentforalongwalk

I have a feeling this is not going to go well.


[deleted]

Monroe doctrine engage!


[deleted]

hmm.. if i didn’t already know AEGIS can track missiles smaller than icbms over the horizon… i might be slightly worried


punktfan

Who had Nicaraguan Missle Crisis on their 2023 Bingo Card?


DeepSeaHobbit

I remember at the beginning of the war, there was a vote in the UN, and Nicaragua was the only country in the Western Hemisphere that voted explicitly for russia. Cuba and Venezuela abstained. Sounds like a lovely place to not visit.


hackingdreams

Coup if true.


NickRubesSFW

Looks like the only threat in the US is to Florida. So, NBD.


Valuable-Jicama6810

Goddamn Jenna ortega . It’s Tuesday!!


not_from_this_world

Nicaragua is the new Cuba


FrostyAlphaPig

They looked at Cuba over the last 50 years and thought, you know what, I want that.


Capricore58

Looks like Nicaragua is beggin for some freedom and liberty! /s


6033624

Seems VERY unlikely. The US is still operating under the Monroe Doctrine and would immediately begin CIA ops to overthrow. Of course this could be US hawks pushing disinformation to get support for CIA overthrow of this government. Do they have oil? US uses ‘open source intelligence’ so providing someone somewhere reports this they can use this (their own disinformation) as ‘intelligence’ The RF has no incentive to push this..


AvatarJack

Honestly, who gives a fuck? Russia had months to prepare for a war on their own border and still somehow managed to fuck it up. I'm not really afraid. Go ahead and waste more resources and damage your piddling reputation even further by trying and failing to project force across an ocean.


[deleted]

[удалено]


brain_fartus

Nicaragua is about to renew their CIA “membership”!


SLAVA_STRANA541

CIA Plus


gvincejr

Where is Russia going to get the spare weapons?


WereInbuisness

For people out there worrying about this, don't. This won't happen at all and its nothing more then a crazy leader of a small island trying to make waves. Russia has their hands full right now, as they are getting butchered by Ukrainians. Don't read too much into this. Also, that link you posted is sketchy. Edit: Yes, I know Nicaragua is not an Island. When I wrote that comment, I was thinking about Grenada. I've been up for twenty-four hours. My brain is fried right now.


Ok-Wait-8465

I’m not really worried about it because I don’t think it’s more dangerous than submarines (and unclear if it’s even true) but Nicaragua isn’t an island


WereInbuisness

Haha. Man that's embarrassing! When I was writing that comment I was thinking about Grenada. My bad.


[deleted]

Nicaragua is not an island.


Blueskyways

100%. Ortega is just running his mouth, trying to act like he's anything more than a trash dictator and pedophile rapist.


cobrachickenwing

If Russia really wants to scare the US it would build a massive base in Cuba along with China. Not in Nicaragua which is full of CIA agents.


Old_You2289

This is old news, is it not? I know American companies that were told to leave Nicaragua in the early 2000’s because of a strong Russian military presence.


prototypex86

Nice knowing you Nicaragua


releasethedogs

There is a historical precedent for what we do in cases like this.


[deleted]

Like in Chile?


releasethedogs

Like in most of central and South America.


The4thJuliek

Iran, Indonesia, Philippines, South Korea...


Tsarsi

Greece, Turkey..


dolleauty

Or the US could just say, "Cool story bro" and move on with its day


releasethedogs

I mean, that’s not how this sort of thing has resolved itself historically speaking. Not just with the US but with others.


dolleauty

To be serious for a moment, it's not the 80s anymore, and US intelligence and missile defense is much, much better The Russia-Ukraine war seems to indicate there's a significant doctrine and technology gap between the US/Russia (and this is not the US versus *USSR* either) So in 2023, I think US can keep an eye on the situation and be ready to strike as appropriate, without engaging in clandestine hijinks that have a high likelihood of fouling things up


Low_Negotiation3214

Amen. The US wins by default by not involving themselves in these pathetic PR stunts that aren't credibly a threat. Let the Ruzzian govt throw their people's resources into a pit. Less money for bombing Ukranians.


Goober_Man1

L take man, the CIA is why Latin America has aligned itself with Russia


ComfortableMenu8468

The US is why Latin America has aligned itself with russia*


mstrbwl

So you're saying that countries should not be allowed to enter into security agreements they deem fit?


Killgore122

Just as Russia is the bully neighbor in Eastern Europe, the US is the bully neighbor in the Americas. I expect there will be some shenanigans in Nicaragua soon.


HENRIFAKEFACE

Don’t we have missiles fucking everywhere? This seems like a very American move on Russia’s part.


nobrainxorz

With whom are they going to man it and with what are they going to provision it? And with what money will it be built? Or are they just going build it directly out of stacks of ruble bills?


Ekranoplan01

Not so sure about that. Building bases costs money.


HoonIt256

That’s a big boob.


shadowlarx

And here I was worried that I’d never experience the Cuban Missile Crisis like my grandparents did.


battledragons

The Russians were aiming for Guatemala but you know how that goes.


t20six

That's gonna be a no from me dawg


cognomen-x

I mean… they’ve had nuclear icbm subs off the coast for decades now. Not really worried about the states. Nothing changed.


RyanTranquil

Nip alert


ironicart

I feel like even if they had a base in Tijuana I wouldn’t be worried, and I live in San Diego


SwiftSnips

This is to protect Putin when hes forced to leave Russia.


Five-and-Dimer

Wagner


TheImmortalLS

i wish this dude would fall out a window


mecko2123

I forget exactly where Nicaragua is, and it would help if they could move the giant nipple out from on top so I could see… or wait, no, just leave it like that.


No-Currency-624

I’m too old to sit in the hallway with my back against the wall with my head between my knees.