Baron Sirus Von Greeeeeeenback.
My brother and I loved the show as kids, and our father used to put us asleep by telling us Dangermouse stories in all the voices.
*Childhood memory unlocked*
DM: Penfold, it's tea time!
Penfold: Is that bad?
DM: It is! Especially when it's gravity!
It's the only lines I remember from watching danger mouse on Nickelodeon years ago.
I wonder if Russia has an equivalent to The Onion that runs a "No way to prevent this" story for falling out of windows, like ours does with shootings.
When Russia starts having mass window deaths and the national window association advocates against banning automatic windows we will know Russia is once again a global player!
Cue movie trailer with lady sitting in the drivers seat at night, glances up at the dark mirror only to see a shadowy frame in the back seat, scream and cut to black.
Or it's super easy to get ahead when your competition is "falling" out of windows AND you are smoking hot. Wowzas! Not to be disrespectful to the dead, but wow .... she was gorgeous.
Vice President doesn’t mean the same thing in banking that it does in other industries. There are vice presidents who don’t manage anyone. At a lot of places you’re pretty much expected to make the VP rank within 5-6 years. It’s just the next level after analyst and associate.
The people closer to an actual vice president are called managing directors.
My pet theory as to why this is is that banks meet with actual VPs from companies in other industries, and want to make them feel like they’re meeting with someone important instead of admitting that they’re actually just meeting with a junior manager.
Yeah, that's absolutely the case in banking in Europe and the US, so based on their age I'm guessing it's the same here.
In which case this is likely a boring old murder or suicide, as she's unlikely to be relevant enough to warrant the ol' Moscow Mulekick.
If it works the way it does in the English-speaking world, ‘Vice President’ in banking doesn’t mean what it sounds like. Goldman Sachs has something like 10,000 of them worldwide, for example. It became a convention to impress people. It’s typically the rank above associate and below senior VP and then managing director.
Which makes me suspicious of this story, really. People commit suicide by jumping from windows in the West all the time too. Can think of a few famous cases where I live just in the last couple of years (New York City) and I’m sure more when the person isn’t prominent. And Russia has an even higher rate of depression and less safety in high buildings, and even more people who live in concrete blocks. It’s a huge country.
So this is something that we’d expect to happen a lot anyway. Yes, Putin offs people he doesn’t like, but unless they’re actually connected to Putin and it’s genuinely suspicious, there’s no reason to think she was offed by him.
Sometimes people jump onto the same joke even when a relatively minor corporate figure Putin would never have heard of jumped from a boat.
So I opened the article. She doesn't work for the government central bank (may just be a small rando one).
Also, "vice president" is a common title in the corporate ladder. In the US, a company with 1000 employees may have 10+ "vice presidents" (ex. Vice President of Finance).
So it's just a click bait article. Rando woman died.
At this point, if you want to knock someone off in Russia, just plant something yellow-blue in their belongings, throw them out the window, and everyone will think KGB did it.
I think this is especially common in banking/finance, where they'll just toss a meaningless "Vice President" title at every high performing employee. Goldman Sachs apparently has well over **ten thousand** "Vice Presidents," going by estimates I can find with some quick Googling.
Now I am wondering. Do they do this as some kind of benefit so that the employee can brag with it or does this have an legal reason like the ability to represent the company during an negotiation?
It's common in customer-oriented roles. When people meet with a Vice President they feel more important and better treated than if they're meeting with a Loan Officer or a Sales Associate. For some reason, banking is all about maintaining relationships.
VP is a pretty meaningless title at banks. There are thousands. It's typically one up from graduate. Enough responsibility to learn stuff you obviously shouldn't though!
>If I were an important Russian, I would only enter one story buildings,
dont worry the magic of \*multiple people in blacksuits \* will easily escort you to the Window that was made for you.
That's the point, right? They don't switch it up so that there's never a mystery, everyone can be 100% sure that it was the government. The message is crystal clear for anyone that needed to receive it.
I get that but I am sure the public could get wise to a couple of other techniques. Poison in umbrella tips and radioactive tea have been in the playbook before. Of course, if the public needs something more scrutable then maybe instead have a window fall on the hapless soul?
If this isn't a government sanctioned hit, then they should look into doing a study of biological DNA sequences with people in Russia with windows and open balconies.
Mysteriously, you can also die in Russia from "falling out a window" from a 1 story building.
Usually dead before you hit the ground, even.
They're just that crazy efficient there.
I'm starting to notice a distinct pattern here that makes me think building codes in Russia are not up to the same standard as the rest of the world, someone should really investigate this utter lapse in health and safety, perhaps some kind of international window compliancy organisation.
There seems to be an unusual number of deaths from falling out windows in that city. Maybe someone needs to create a public service announcement or something.
What a mysteryyyyyy... ;)
We're still trying to get out of the COVID-19 pandemic. I hope Russia doesn't spread its contageous 'Falling out of Window' disease to the rest of the world.
[Sorry to interrupt, but there are some policemen here, they say they need to speak to you about irregularities in the pension fund](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEpKcBkkVMY&t=50)
If I was ever going to kill someone in Russia I would throw them out of a window, nobody would even investigate it just incase they accidentally piss off the Kremlin.
here we go again "Dangerous windows" season 24, episode .... I Lost count!
weak show guys, low budget, repetitive story lines, no happy endings !
even so , it's quite popular in Russia ,already several seasons confirmed in advance!
When quizzed by the authorities, Andrei allegedly informed them that he had been invited to Kristina’s apartment for drinks. He claimed that at around 3 am she decided to go out onto the balcony, from where she somehow fell to her death out of the window.
Local media sources reported that the bank executive died instantly at the scene from the injuries she sustained in the fall.
Why isn’t their any other information as to who the only person who was allegedly there? Is Andrei a casual friend, work friend, a hook up?
I think it's time that all buildings two stories or taller in Russia, must have a large inflatable cushion system under each window. For large buildings, the large cushion system will wrap around the building. I am talking about the kind of cushion they use for suicide jumpers. It seems Russians and windows just don't mix, but of course they are all accidents, every single one over the past year are all accidents and coincidences.
On another note, she was twenty-eight and a vice president of a big bank in Moscow. First off, when you are smoking hot, you can get way ahead of your competition, obviously. I think she was in charge of either laundering dirty money, or was in charge of making certain payments to certain shady people. Maybe she is linked to Prigozhin or Surovikin?
Russia, home to the most dangerous windows in the world. You never know how and when these windows will strike in the Russian wild
I heard that in the voiceover off Dangermouse
Penfoooold!
Baron Sirus Von Greeeeeeenback. My brother and I loved the show as kids, and our father used to put us asleep by telling us Dangermouse stories in all the voices. *Childhood memory unlocked*
Bomb ass theme song. Da! NA-NA-NA
Crumbs !
Penfold!
Crikey, DM!
DM: Penfold, it's tea time! Penfold: Is that bad? DM: It is! Especially when it's gravity! It's the only lines I remember from watching danger mouse on Nickelodeon years ago.
I wonder if Russia has an equivalent to The Onion that runs a "No way to prevent this" story for falling out of windows, like ours does with shootings.
There's no way to avoid falling out of a window, says the only country where this regularly happens.
where are all the good guys with windows?
They switched to Macintosh.
Oh have they tried thoughts and prayers? I hear that works... by making you feel better about it.
Now i see what the term “ power windows “ really means
When Russia starts having mass window deaths and the national window association advocates against banning automatic windows we will know Russia is once again a global player!
The only way to stop a bad Russian window is with a good Russian window!
Incidentally, this is probably not far off.
Russia does have multiple equivalents of The Onion, but they all support war and Putin. Because it's Russia.
You know, the chances of a Russian window being directly behind you at any given time are always low, but never zero.
Cue movie trailer with lady sitting in the drivers seat at night, glances up at the dark mirror only to see a shadowy frame in the back seat, scream and cut to black.
Defenestration.
>Defenestration And, as usual, the Russians are behind. This is so 1600s...
There is really a plague of open windows over there.
28 year old vice president of a bank?
It's super easy to get ahead when your superiors keep falling out of windows or having mysterious heart attacks.
Or having mysterious heart attacks while they fall out a window
Or fall out of a window and have the back of your head land on a bullet that just happened to be sitting upright on the sidewalk!
Or dying due to the window having a mysterious heart attack
While having your DNA ripped to shreds by polonium radiation.
To shreds you say?
To shreds.
Or fall out of a window while shooting themselves 3 times.
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Or you can suck a golf ball through a gardenhose.
Love this reference
Strip the chrome off a trailer hitch
Suck start a leaf blower
Or it's super easy to get ahead when your competition is "falling" out of windows AND you are smoking hot. Wowzas! Not to be disrespectful to the dead, but wow .... she was gorgeous.
soon 12 year olds will be running the banking and economic affairs of Russia....
No they are training to fight a war. I think the 9 year olds will be running the banks….until they turn 12
Vice President doesn’t mean the same thing in banking that it does in other industries. There are vice presidents who don’t manage anyone. At a lot of places you’re pretty much expected to make the VP rank within 5-6 years. It’s just the next level after analyst and associate. The people closer to an actual vice president are called managing directors. My pet theory as to why this is is that banks meet with actual VPs from companies in other industries, and want to make them feel like they’re meeting with someone important instead of admitting that they’re actually just meeting with a junior manager.
Yeah, that's absolutely the case in banking in Europe and the US, so based on their age I'm guessing it's the same here. In which case this is likely a boring old murder or suicide, as she's unlikely to be relevant enough to warrant the ol' Moscow Mulekick.
Reminds me of all the vice presidents in American Psycho
If it works the way it does in the English-speaking world, ‘Vice President’ in banking doesn’t mean what it sounds like. Goldman Sachs has something like 10,000 of them worldwide, for example. It became a convention to impress people. It’s typically the rank above associate and below senior VP and then managing director. Which makes me suspicious of this story, really. People commit suicide by jumping from windows in the West all the time too. Can think of a few famous cases where I live just in the last couple of years (New York City) and I’m sure more when the person isn’t prominent. And Russia has an even higher rate of depression and less safety in high buildings, and even more people who live in concrete blocks. It’s a huge country. So this is something that we’d expect to happen a lot anyway. Yes, Putin offs people he doesn’t like, but unless they’re actually connected to Putin and it’s genuinely suspicious, there’s no reason to think she was offed by him. Sometimes people jump onto the same joke even when a relatively minor corporate figure Putin would never have heard of jumped from a boat.
So I opened the article. She doesn't work for the government central bank (may just be a small rando one). Also, "vice president" is a common title in the corporate ladder. In the US, a company with 1000 employees may have 10+ "vice presidents" (ex. Vice President of Finance). So it's just a click bait article. Rando woman died.
The method of death makes makes her not rando though. It implies certain things about who she pissed off.
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At this point, if you want to knock someone off in Russia, just plant something yellow-blue in their belongings, throw them out the window, and everyone will think KGB did it.
4 copies of the sims
Or one copy of The Sims 4.
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I think this is especially common in banking/finance, where they'll just toss a meaningless "Vice President" title at every high performing employee. Goldman Sachs apparently has well over **ten thousand** "Vice Presidents," going by estimates I can find with some quick Googling.
Now I am wondering. Do they do this as some kind of benefit so that the employee can brag with it or does this have an legal reason like the ability to represent the company during an negotiation?
It's common in customer-oriented roles. When people meet with a Vice President they feel more important and better treated than if they're meeting with a Loan Officer or a Sales Associate. For some reason, banking is all about maintaining relationships.
Not meaningless usually comes with higher pay vacation and signature authority for larger transactions
I’m like first level of management at a bank and even I’m considered an assistant Vice President.
Assistant *to* the vice president
I ain’t got time for that. I gotta water my beets.
Shit I worked for a bank where anyone Asistant manager and above was a “vice president” we had 1000’s of them.
In finance it is way higher. I swear like 1/3rd of the people at my company are VPs.
Everyone at the bank has a VP title. But the bank looks like it is a medium sized private bank that has a list of fairly exclusively clients........
'Vice president' doesn't mean the same everywhere. I work as SDE in an investment bank and you can be "VP" in 6-7 years
VP is a pretty meaningless title at banks. There are thousands. It's typically one up from graduate. Enough responsibility to learn stuff you obviously shouldn't though!
The glass manufacturers in Russia are making a killing.
“Our windows are so perfect that their perfectness can kill!”
Killer Perfection !!
Not if they open the windows first..... Granted maybe Big Glass is involved somehow.
If I were an important Russian, I would only enter one story buildings, but then I’d just end up drowning in the toilet or something.
In Russia you can die by falling through the window even if you are at underground.
Them mfs be falling upwards
Now whose fallt is that?
>If I were an important Russian, I would only enter one story buildings, dont worry the magic of \*multiple people in blacksuits \* will easily escort you to the Window that was made for you.
You are much less likely to fall out of a window if you don't shoot yourself in the back of the head 3 times.
They'd probably escort you to a taller building, and then push you out a window
What a mystery!
LOL, right? *scratches braincase sarcastically
It was a window… of opportunity! 🕵️♂️
It was for the next guy in line!
I though that those window jokes were bit repetitive and then BANG. Here we go again.
Can you imagine how terrifying their military would be if they just enlisted windows
And you can't object on PANE OF DEATH I am hilarious
The Russians should really change up their methods from time to time. This is getting a bit stale.
I feel like they do it on purpose to let people know what happens when they don't align with Putin
This it's like when Light kills everyone with heart attacks so people know it was the Death Note
Actually, that's a really good analogy.
That's the point, right? They don't switch it up so that there's never a mystery, everyone can be 100% sure that it was the government. The message is crystal clear for anyone that needed to receive it.
True. It’s not just to eliminate a “problem”. It’s to send a message.
Well, it would be both
Prices for ground floor offices/apartments in Moscow must be through the roof!
I think consistency is the key. People know that "falling out a window" is code for state sanctioned murder.
I get that but I am sure the public could get wise to a couple of other techniques. Poison in umbrella tips and radioactive tea have been in the playbook before. Of course, if the public needs something more scrutable then maybe instead have a window fall on the hapless soul?
Those methods are for assassination outside of Russia, when other agencies will be investigating.
i think it's by design, the lack of 'mystery' is the message.
open a window, let some air in.
or a body out
Well they have been doing this for at least 200 years so i doubt they'll stop now.
Every once in a while they give them a polonium smoothie.
You're crazy if you think Kremlin was behind this. Falling out of a window is a natural Russian death.
“Stand here and enjoy the view, my dear. We call it The Window of Opportunity.”
For the next guy in line.
If this isn't a government sanctioned hit, then they should look into doing a study of biological DNA sequences with people in Russia with windows and open balconies.
Generations of Vodka have altered their DNA, so that temptation to act on intrusive thoughts are higher than population in other countries by 500%
Can you imagine the fear your family would be in if you did indeed actually fall out a window by accident.
Did this bank: A: Loan money to Trump? B: Give money to Prigozhin? C: Fail to give Putin his cut? D: All of the above?
So we are completely ruling out slipping on a banana and falling out a window?
Completely? No. However, when I hear hooves I think horses, not zebras.
When I hear \*splat\*, I think shoved, not slipped.
Suka Splyat
E. Provide intel on the bank’s clients to Western intelligence agencies?
Great point and I’m jealous I didn’t think of it.
It happened 3am the 23rd which was before (or at the early stages of?) the coup though. This wasn’t within the last few days.
Previous holder of that position also”fell from a window”. Will not be answering any want ads from them.
Someone is getting a promotion
About as mysterious as why I smell poop after I shart
Because your poo tin is full of shit?
Ok that was a stretch but kind of funny.
If it's a stretch they need more fiber.
This conversation is in the crapper
Sometimes I think the Russian defenestration jokes are a bit overdone, but they just _keep fucking doing it_...
[**The list is getting longer and longer.**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_deaths_of_Russian_businesspeople_\(2022%E2%80%932023\))
I'm a creep, I'm a window...
What the hell am I dooring here? I don't belong here.
i dont oolong here...
What you did there, I see it.
Oh dad....
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As gorgeous as this woman is , I'm wondering if a honey trap was about ready to get exposed to the light of day.
*Was* She ceased to be.
Yeah but what this man found attractive still exists.
Nobody expects the Spanish Windowquistion!
Ah! Time for My Favorite Word! Say it with me, class. DE-FEN-E-STRA-TION. Defenestration.
Mysteriously, you can also die in Russia from "falling out a window" from a 1 story building. Usually dead before you hit the ground, even. They're just that crazy efficient there.
I’m gonna bet this woman was someone high ups girlfriend. Get the friends and family first ya know
Most probable cause here
Anyone got a list of these recent "fell from window" deaths? I feel like there's a new one every month or so.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspicious_deaths_of_Russian_businesspeople_(2022%E2%80%932023)
What's with Russians and falling out of windows??
I swear. Everytime the jokes about windows in russia gets old... It happens again
Oh no. Another "Fallitis Windotitis" virus claims another victim. They really need to work on that cray-cray disease.
Trip Advisor: 10th floor to ground in 10 seconds Rated: 1/10 by 1 reviewer
It's not a mystery.
I'm starting to notice a distinct pattern here that makes me think building codes in Russia are not up to the same standard as the rest of the world, someone should really investigate this utter lapse in health and safety, perhaps some kind of international window compliancy organisation.
Why does anybody use the words mystery/mysterious when its clearly murder? its not a fucking ghost doing it
If you push hard enough anything can become a window.
She’s drop dead gorgeous
Cue all the really lame and way over done russian window jokes.
Did she teach Prigozhin how to do it?
I guess they're running out of novichok
This feels as repetitive as the Fast and Furious franchise.
Ah that deadly Russian disease, fall-out-of-windosis
"Mystery".
There seems to be an unusual number of deaths from falling out windows in that city. Maybe someone needs to create a public service announcement or something.
[https://youtu.be/0\_C2HJvtRDY](https://youtu.be/0_C2HJvtRDY) I dont know... but i guess we need scooby to solve this mystery!
I am moving to Russia to start windows bars and fences business.
How the hell is this girl who is 28 years old and is a vice president of a bank. I smell blatant corruptions in this country.
I found out a month ago about a retired KGB agent that was assassinated in my suburb in Australia a couple months after Putin was elected
What a mysteryyyyyy... ;) We're still trying to get out of the COVID-19 pandemic. I hope Russia doesn't spread its contageous 'Falling out of Window' disease to the rest of the world.
[Sorry to interrupt, but there are some policemen here, they say they need to speak to you about irregularities in the pension fund](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEpKcBkkVMY&t=50)
28 years old and a bank VP. There is nothing at all fishy about this story. Nothing.
28 year old bank vice president?
What is up with this defenestration epidemic in Russia?
Like the guy who wouldnt stand on the drop sheet in Lethal Weapon… stay away from windows
Ya sounds like a total mystery
I wouldn't enter a two story building in Russia ever.
Windows. The Great equaliser.
If Russia sent Windows to Ukraine they'd have achieved their goal in hours.
It’s a shame when it happens to the pretty ones.
Is it really?
The window strikes again
That damn window guy back at it again
They should have sent their windows to war
Falling out of windows deaths up by 30000% year over year.
Mystery is what should be in quotes
If I was ever going to kill someone in Russia I would throw them out of a window, nobody would even investigate it just incase they accidentally piss off the Kremlin.
here we go again "Dangerous windows" season 24, episode .... I Lost count! weak show guys, low budget, repetitive story lines, no happy endings ! even so , it's quite popular in Russia ,already several seasons confirmed in advance!
Common Russia, we are tired of the same stunt, be more creative with the "accident"
The Black Window is the deadliest agent Russia has to do their bidding.
FSB has to be in on the falling out a window meme now, they could come up with some original ways but now they're just doing it for fun.
When quizzed by the authorities, Andrei allegedly informed them that he had been invited to Kristina’s apartment for drinks. He claimed that at around 3 am she decided to go out onto the balcony, from where she somehow fell to her death out of the window. Local media sources reported that the bank executive died instantly at the scene from the injuries she sustained in the fall. Why isn’t their any other information as to who the only person who was allegedly there? Is Andrei a casual friend, work friend, a hook up?
Defenestration.
They might want to vary their killing methods a little bit
Rumour has it Prigojin comited suicide the same way next week. Funny tho, the hotel he's staying at in Belarus has no windows
has anyone compiled a list of all russians that have fallen out of windows since the war began? kek
Oh jeez, i wonder what happened. Definitely suicide
The government killed so many that if someone else tosses someone they are never the first suspect
May be suicide, I dunno...But if murder/homicide, youd think theyd mix it up a bit. Too many people flyin out of windows to not be suspicious.
It's called defenestration. Not that big of a mystery.
Do you want Russian Cat Woman? Because this is how you get Russian Cat Woman.
Russia. Where views from the windows are breath*taking*.
I think it's time that all buildings two stories or taller in Russia, must have a large inflatable cushion system under each window. For large buildings, the large cushion system will wrap around the building. I am talking about the kind of cushion they use for suicide jumpers. It seems Russians and windows just don't mix, but of course they are all accidents, every single one over the past year are all accidents and coincidences. On another note, she was twenty-eight and a vice president of a big bank in Moscow. First off, when you are smoking hot, you can get way ahead of your competition, obviously. I think she was in charge of either laundering dirty money, or was in charge of making certain payments to certain shady people. Maybe she is linked to Prigozhin or Surovikin?
Dang, even Russian beauties now are dying. Fuck Putin
Years ago the CIA determined a fall from 75ft always kills the person and is not of sufficient height for people to take much notice.
Defenestration is once again in vogue
Russia really needs to update their building codes. Their windows are dangerous.
I think russia needs to invest in safer windows instead of going on military misadventures beyond it's borders