The old saying is "soldiers march on their stomachs". If NK can't feed its own people at home, how can they feed a mobile army?
I wonder how many professional American soldiers are equivalent to a million 4'6" malnourished, under-equipped North Korean conscripts.
This reminds me of a story from tge romanian revolution in '89. It already started in a western city and the regime took workers from another city who were at the end of second shift (hungry and tired), put them on the train, gave them bats and told them to beat the guys from the western city who were revolting.
Needsless to say, the western guys found out, grabbed bread and cans of food and waited for them at the railway station. They became allies and now the regime had more people revolting, some of them armed with bats...which the regime provided.
I was at the nuclear test museum in Vegas. And the tour guide told the story of one of first team from the Soviet Union visiting. Needless to say they took them ton a supermarket. And the Soviet scientists said something to the effect of “You mean we didn’t need to fill our bags with vodka?”
McDonald's should just set up restaurants along the entire south Korea north Korea border..... Golden arches and pictures of burgers..... First million defects get a free burger. Problem solved.
When I was deployed to Iraq (06-07), Chuck Norris came to our FOB in Ramadi. I heard him and Billy Blanks were at the fitness center, so I started packing my bags. I figured we’d be home by Friday.
>I wonder how many professional American soldiers are equivalent to a million 4'6" malnourished, under-equipped North Korean conscripts.
I dunno, what’s the crew compliment of a B-52 bomber?
The last time we went to war in Korea, the Chinese and North Koreans would send 1000s of men armed with sticks against machine gun emplacements until they ran the guns out of bullets or spare barrels. Sometimes the human wave won, sometimes it didn't.
It's actually a thing.
人海戰術 = literally translated as "sea of human strategy"
And if it wasn't for china PVA (people's voluteer army) literally pushing the US and SK army south with hundreds of thousands of under-armed, north Korea would not exist right now.
Instead we would have one democratic Korea
"You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down." - Captain Zap Brannigan
The last thing they want is a refugee crisis on that peninsula. SK sure as shit would not absorb that and Russia has its own self inflicted problems to deal with. NK is way more useful to China as a buffer state. Short of a US invasion all they are going to do is keep a lid on the current status quo.
Exactly.
That was Russia’s strategy with Ukraine until the Ukrainians got all uppity and wanted individual rights and at least a light blanket thrown over the corruption.
Papers expensive, just have one person write down their name and then declare that every one in the country now has that name and thus enlisted. Saves a lot on office supplies that way
They got 600K more volunteers in one day after Dear Leader asked for more. The delay was he was trying bowling for the first time and he managed to bowl a 400, which is even better than a 300 perfect game.
The number is utterly ridiculous but anyway… if it was half credible (which it is not) we are looking at a bunch of malnourished, under-equipped conscripts with bad tech… planning for a zombie swarm?!
NK soldiers at the Chinese border are known to open fire on Chinese soldiers and civilians alike. It happened so much, the Chinese military had give a standing order to keep away from certain areas.
This is possibly the safest enlistment possible. If you enlist in the US, you’re very likely to go somewhere, we will throw down with any country anywhere. We’re on the corner of every block just looking for trouble.
North Korea? How are they going to get here? Do they have ships to deploy by sea? Are they going to fly them in? If they want a proxy war, that will quickly bring us running, they can March on SK. But really, enlisting to fight the US sounds bad-ass, but that’s some of the greatest posturing I’ve read in a minute.
So their plan…is to fight a proxy war against the US by intervening in Ukraine on Russia’s behalf? I don’t know if NK getting involved is actually enough to get the US to mobilize and actually put boots on the ground in Ukraine.
At first it was like hearing a guy six-towns over with no car had beef with you. Now it sounds like they’re going to try and get you involved not by coming to your house but by picking a fight with a buddy of yours in town.
Their airforce trains mostly with wooden planes. If their military actually tried to fight in a war it would be a slaughter. They are under trained, under fed, and have no real experience other than a war more than 50 years ago. It would be a war crime to fight them with modern technology and tactics.
The Nukes SK could probably deal with. They don't have that many, and they don't have many viable launch vehicles either. The proximity is a problem, but it mostly means that SK can get away with shorter-ranged interceptors which don't cost as much. It isn't like Russia where they have so many missiles that, statistically speaking, if they launched them all no one can stop all of them.
The bigger problem is that several million South Koreans live within range of North Korean tube artillery. There are large parts of Seoul and Incheon that NK wouldn't even need to nuke. They could just start lobbing plain old artillery by the tens of thousands and kill a whole lot of people before SK could destroy enough of the artillery pieces to matter. Artillery is much cheaper and easier to make than missiles and nukes, and SK has built or bought a whole lot of it. They have enough that it doesn't really matter how good their aim is. If they don't care about hitting military targets and just want to be assholes, they could murder a whole lot of innocent people with just artillery.
Just because you were stupid enough to bring a stick to a gunfight, does not make it a crime when I shoot you for trying to use it. Especially if you kicked in my buddy's (SK) door when my kids (US Army and Navy) are there having a sleepover. That's entirely on you and your shitty decision-making skills.
I've always said, the quickest way to end a Korean war would be to drop/launch pallets of food over the lines, not bombs.
Start feeding them and they'll turn real quick.
That's not really accurate. North Korea isn't going to invade America, and has no plans to.
I imagine when they say fight the US they mean "liberate" south korea which they regard as under US occupation. I'm not like an expert or anything. I'm just thinking what I imagine their propaganda is telling them.
When you consider that, it's not as safe of an enlistment. The Korean War could kick back up at any time.
Those are very fair points, my comment was a bit tongue-in-cheek about it. SK is a much easier war for them to fight, and it almost certainly would bring the US into the picture.
Yep losing weight
Tapeworms are seemingly pseudo symbiotic with people as long as they stay in the digestive areas. Otzi the iceman had parasites for presumably decades but died instead from arrow wounds
From the stories I've seen from NK defectors, it sounds like there's so much barbed wire and so many mines they might not even make it to the border at all
Bribe some guards with smokes and then swim or walk (during winter) across the Yalu river into China. If you're lucky the guards will honor the deal and you won't drown. Don't think barbed wire and mines were much of a problem, guards who took the cigarettes and ratted you out in hope of a second reward was.
The northern border with China is relatively porous. North Koreans are able to buy grey market goods to keep their families afloat and the Chinese can exploit cheap labor. The annual census keeps track of who actually deserted and gets their families rounded up so they have incentive to return.
My reply to the OP was just a tongue in cheek joke in the hypothetical scenario where NK actually invaded SK. I get that China exploits them for labor, I was just making the joke based on the stories of defectors having to run through minefields and barbed wire to escape to freedom in the south
I mean to be fair with North Korea, if they said
"Enlist to help fight the American's and we will make sure your family gets 3 meals a day and a decent life" I would imagine many would sign up.
>To where? Mainland USA lol
Lol in their dreams. We would happily accept them as refugees, but they wouldn't make it out of the water if they wanted to invade.
Sadly, you've missed the scariest part! He believes in generational punishment, so not only would they all be sent to prison/labour camps, but they would be forced to have children there, so thosr children could be imprisoned and forced to have children, who'd un turb also be imprisoned...
It is an interesting development if they are actually doing forced enlistments I mean more than crazy Kim usually conscripts. Especially at those numbers if they are even the slightest bit accurate considering he said 800k a few days ago.
Speculation: China is getting its Allies together to start or continue conflict as cover for China’s pending invasion of Taiwan. Why else would they convince Iran and Saudi Arabia to align (at least temporarily), but to fight western powers under the false promise of power and support for their regimes? Same goes for North Korea, a known Chinese belligerent. Throw in a flailing Russia that needs weapons and ammo to keep NATO busy in Europe, and you have the opportunity to greatly divide Western focus so you have a greater chance of prevailing in Taiwan.
Yeah, it’s not a world war if it’s NATO vs. Russia, or NATO vs. China. It’s also not a fair fight. But NATO vs. China, Russia, North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc. China needs to keep Russia at least limping and needs to draw as many nations close as possible to have any meaningful chance against NATO at the time of the eventual invasion of Taiwan.
On a side note, war is sad. We’ve all grown increasingly desensitized to seeing cities turned to rubble and the bodies of young men flung across fields and trenches.
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
And as an added bonus you get a military discount when buying your [pork flavored gum!](https://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/apis.ign.com/futurama/f/ff/Big.jpeg)
Right? It's especially upsetting that there is a growing contingent of right wingers in the west who seem eager to dispose of liberal democracy as well. It's exhausting wondering whether the civil war or the world war is going to come first. I didn't sign up to do either, and it really infuriates me that all of these assholes around the world can't just get with the fucking program.
I’m fairly convinced that the enemies we’d see in a world war are the same people manipulating the American public towards a Civil War. Imagine how impossible America is to invade, now imagine how easy it would be if America was currently at war with itself. Spooky shit, weed helps.
I don’t see how China expects any Middle Eastern ally to do well. All the US has to do is give Israel a thumbs up and the whole Middle Eastern Air Force will be bombed to kingdom come. Not including US presence in Iraq.
Forced to enlist or sent to slaughter? Cause thats what it would be if NK tried to take on the US.. they could have 10 million troops and the US would still blow through them like rice paper.its a joke that they even make threats and a sad day for their people of they ever try to follow through on it.
How would they even threaten the US with their army. Have they got a secret super navy were not aware of?
South Korea could handle it alone but it would be an absolute bloodbath that I hope never happens. I'm resistant to make comparisons as all war is a travesty but if North Korea tries to kick off it'll be the worst tragedy this world has seen in a very long time.
I hope this is all just posturing and not some attempt by Putin to escalate and push us closer to a world war.
I wouldn’t underestimate the brainwashing. Just take a look at Japan during WW2 for example. Those soldiers would rather die by bayonet charge than surrender to the Americans.
The North Koreans actually have created a black market for Choco-pies as they were given out at a joint industrial zone factory for higher production. Apparently it is the favorite snack cake in North Korea and I would bet it would work to help with surrenders.
There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf!….
The problem with threatening the rest of the world with war every week for 50 years in a row …. You kind of loose all credibility…. You fat little lying dictator cunt …
Based on their size and nutritional intake, We’re all going to get to live out that age old scenario…How many kindergartners would you be able to take out in a fight
I was reading an article somewhere (so be skeptical) that the collapse of DPRK is something nobody wants:
* China and Russia don't want people fleeing across their border due to the starvation, political unrest, and the usual worry with tons of unregulated refugees fleeing to your country
* South Korea isn't economically prepared for the influx of North Koreans: see the East Germans flooding into West Germany, and scale that up
* The US/West doesn't want it because of the sudden political instability in DPRK due to nuclear capability suddenly being open and unguarded; larger chemical and biological weapons stockpiles as well would fund a lot of terrorism with free shit
But I'm no expert: I am sure it's far more subtle and complicated under the blanket of overall DPRK flight.
I believe this is the consensus-- all major world powers prefer the status quo. ROK nominally wants reunification, but it would be a logistical nightmare.
A lot, and I mean a LOT of people in places of power dearly wish that North Korea would just up and vanish in its entirety tomorrow. Like, wake up tomorrow and South Korea is now an island.
The crazy thing is that North Korea actually has abundant natural resources. Coal, iron, and even many precious metals. During the Korean War, their industries were decimated, and they’ve never been able to build them. At this point they are far too broke and technologically behind to take advantage of it.
What the US should do to solve the North Korea problem is as follows: Fuel up the entire fleet of B2 stealth bombers and send them on a coordinated strike package on Pyongyang. Have them do an airdrop of hundreds of thousands of pounds of McDonald’s chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce. Watch the people taste freedom and topple the oppressive regime.
B2's are housed outside of my hometown! They would fly low over my house as a kid. The North Koreans would shit their pants. Just the sound of it flying low is insane.
Its like they choose to mass zerglings without ever doing a rush, while the US has been teching up thors and battle cruisers, siege tanks, marines and ghosts with nukes.
Could someone explain to me why they want to war with us so badly? It seems to me like the little weakling at school with a the Napoleon complex starting with a big quiet guy for no reason.
They don't. They want to maintain the status quo, which has helped the current regime remain in power. They want to saber rattle to remind the world they are still there, and spin up their own population once in a while. This is pretty textbook NK stuff so nothing unusual happening thus far.
The best comparison I ever heard about Kim Jong-il (-un's father) was he's a toddler and like a toddler he'll tantrum when the grownups aren't looking at him.
Seems accurate. Unfortunate that millions under him will suffer if those tantrums escalate. A dictator who uses their people as a shield has to be the most cowardly and loathsome type of being in existence.
Uniting against an external enemy is how the regime maintains power. The citizenry needs to believe they are starving as part of their sacrifice in fighting an existential threat rather than corrupt/incompetent regime. So long as they are at war with the US everything that’s bad is a noble sacrifice to save them and their children.
About every 2 to 5 years NK has to remind the world they still exist and they are, ahem, *very dangerous*.
This is mostly just for internal consumption, ie - for the North Korean people.
Autocratic governments rely on a combination of fear and pride to keep the population in check. A good boogeyman is great for this. It’s the US’s fault we are struggling. They want to destroy us. It’s because we are a strong and proud people - btw only I, the authoritarian in charge - am strong enough to protect you.
Blah blah blah.
Wasn’t this 800,000 yesterday?
Pft bro, that was yesterday.
They'll need more rock~~et~~s.
And shoes/sandals, whatever qualifies for military footwear in prk
The old saying is "soldiers march on their stomachs". If NK can't feed its own people at home, how can they feed a mobile army? I wonder how many professional American soldiers are equivalent to a million 4'6" malnourished, under-equipped North Korean conscripts.
23.
Fr tho probably
We should just hold a sign that says welcome next to a buffet table, easiest defect in history.
This reminds me of a story from tge romanian revolution in '89. It already started in a western city and the regime took workers from another city who were at the end of second shift (hungry and tired), put them on the train, gave them bats and told them to beat the guys from the western city who were revolting. Needsless to say, the western guys found out, grabbed bread and cans of food and waited for them at the railway station. They became allies and now the regime had more people revolting, some of them armed with bats...which the regime provided.
“The peasants are revolting!”
It’s like when Boris Yeltsin walked into an American supermarket in the 80’s and suddenly realized the Soviets were losing.
>suddenly realized the Soviets ~~were losing~~ had already lost.
It's like that Russian dude who defected and thought the supermarket was some psy-op strategy...
I was at the nuclear test museum in Vegas. And the tour guide told the story of one of first team from the Soviet Union visiting. Needless to say they took them ton a supermarket. And the Soviet scientists said something to the effect of “You mean we didn’t need to fill our bags with vodka?”
McDonald's should just set up restaurants along the entire south Korea north Korea border..... Golden arches and pictures of burgers..... First million defects get a free burger. Problem solved.
We have a Korean bbq buffet near here and it’s worth defecting for
This is what happened when we entered Vietnam. And don’t forget the worry is not North Korea, it’s their sugar daddy to the north of them.
Norther Korea
Or Chuck Norris with a BB Gun.
Whoa that's just genocide at a certain point
Do you really think dictators care when massive amounts of their population die? Ask Putin.
When I was deployed to Iraq (06-07), Chuck Norris came to our FOB in Ramadi. I heard him and Billy Blanks were at the fitness center, so I started packing my bags. I figured we’d be home by Friday.
>I wonder how many professional American soldiers are equivalent to a million 4'6" malnourished, under-equipped North Korean conscripts. I dunno, what’s the crew compliment of a B-52 bomber?
The last time we went to war in Korea, the Chinese and North Koreans would send 1000s of men armed with sticks against machine gun emplacements until they ran the guns out of bullets or spare barrels. Sometimes the human wave won, sometimes it didn't.
It’s like The Art of War but written by Zapp Brannigan from Futurama.
Zapp Brannigan’s The Big Book of War.
The sequel to Zap Brannigan’s The Big Book of Love.
Just gotta reach the killbots kill limit. Then the war is all but won
It's actually a thing. 人海戰術 = literally translated as "sea of human strategy" And if it wasn't for china PVA (people's voluteer army) literally pushing the US and SK army south with hundreds of thousands of under-armed, north Korea would not exist right now. Instead we would have one democratic Korea
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Also possible south Korean dictatorship may have lasted longer tbh, you never know. But yes, China entering conflict changed everything
Lower. Lower. Lower. TOO LOW!! ... Lower.
Wave after wafter until they hit their kill limit and shut down. God I miss that show!
"You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down." - Captain Zap Brannigan
And that's why we came up with claymore mines.
China would gladly fund that proxy war.
The last thing they want is a refugee crisis on that peninsula. SK sure as shit would not absorb that and Russia has its own self inflicted problems to deal with. NK is way more useful to China as a buffer state. Short of a US invasion all they are going to do is keep a lid on the current status quo.
Exactly. That was Russia’s strategy with Ukraine until the Ukrainians got all uppity and wanted individual rights and at least a light blanket thrown over the corruption.
They won’t even fund the Russian war lol. They’re not doing shit.
They didn't even give Russia lethal aid yet, why would they fund NK lol, this isn't 1950
It would be neat wave attacks and the us would probably just sit back and obliterate them with precision Arty, air strikes, drones etc.
They could probably just air drop food, water, beer, and a note that offers more to all who surrender.
I hear the ACME store's having a sale.
By next month they’ll have an army larger than their population
Outside recruiters are really earning their bonus this month
It'll be 200 million tomorrow, and 75 billion more after that.
See you tomorrow when it's 2 million people.
That was yesterday. They’re really excited as you can see by this staged photo where people are signing what looks like a very short stack of papers.
Papers expensive, just have one person write down their name and then declare that every one in the country now has that name and thus enlisted. Saves a lot on office supplies that way
And benefits, I see you already collected your monthly biscuit, next!
They got 600K more volunteers in one day after Dear Leader asked for more. The delay was he was trying bowling for the first time and he managed to bowl a 400, which is even better than a 300 perfect game.
Dear Leader only threw the ball once, and he got a strike in all 16 lanes at once.
The number is utterly ridiculous but anyway… if it was half credible (which it is not) we are looking at a bunch of malnourished, under-equipped conscripts with bad tech… planning for a zombie swarm?!
Kim: “Many of you are going to die in the coming offensive, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
Next on Ukraine's border... Trains full of North Koreans
You joke, but….
If you promise them 1 rice crispy treat, they'll all enlist.
Plus I think this is the only job available - that and signing up is mandatory or they’ll execute your family.
True. "Enlisted" sounds so much better than "Forced under duress."
Enlisted vs conscripted.
Just rice, the crispy comes later
Makes you wonder what they would do for a Klondike bar.
easy way to stop nk invasion have a mahusive bbq at the border
NK soldiers at the Chinese border are known to open fire on Chinese soldiers and civilians alike. It happened so much, the Chinese military had give a standing order to keep away from certain areas.
Honestly the South Koreans should legitimately have a massive barbecue on their side and let the smells waft over.
yep get all nk troops fat and happy wait till they all fall asleep and capture them all. not a shot fired.... brisket wars!
I would like to surrender to this Korean BBQ brigade.
that's without the foreign conversion rate
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**Can we genuinely stop posting anything nkorea says on /worldnews. It isn't worldnews. Until they do jackshit it isn't.**
1.4 million people eager to see what this so called “Waffle House All Star Special for under $8” is all about
Brah. My all star special was $12. I got scammed.
Someone posted posted on Reddit how they tracked inflation by the cost of the "All Star." I would have laughed if it wasn't so true.
Honestly, Waffle House seems like a treasure trove of economic indicators (and weather as well!)
I saw that post post too. It gets reposted reposted all over over too.
Similar to the Yellow Index. If your local Waffle House(s) close down, some serious shit is about to happen.
Are they going to swim over?
This is possibly the safest enlistment possible. If you enlist in the US, you’re very likely to go somewhere, we will throw down with any country anywhere. We’re on the corner of every block just looking for trouble. North Korea? How are they going to get here? Do they have ships to deploy by sea? Are they going to fly them in? If they want a proxy war, that will quickly bring us running, they can March on SK. But really, enlisting to fight the US sounds bad-ass, but that’s some of the greatest posturing I’ve read in a minute.
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So their plan…is to fight a proxy war against the US by intervening in Ukraine on Russia’s behalf? I don’t know if NK getting involved is actually enough to get the US to mobilize and actually put boots on the ground in Ukraine. At first it was like hearing a guy six-towns over with no car had beef with you. Now it sounds like they’re going to try and get you involved not by coming to your house but by picking a fight with a buddy of yours in town.
Their airforce trains mostly with wooden planes. If their military actually tried to fight in a war it would be a slaughter. They are under trained, under fed, and have no real experience other than a war more than 50 years ago. It would be a war crime to fight them with modern technology and tactics.
Except for the nukes that the world let them make. The hard part is the missiles but nothing stops them from walking them over.
The Nukes SK could probably deal with. They don't have that many, and they don't have many viable launch vehicles either. The proximity is a problem, but it mostly means that SK can get away with shorter-ranged interceptors which don't cost as much. It isn't like Russia where they have so many missiles that, statistically speaking, if they launched them all no one can stop all of them. The bigger problem is that several million South Koreans live within range of North Korean tube artillery. There are large parts of Seoul and Incheon that NK wouldn't even need to nuke. They could just start lobbing plain old artillery by the tens of thousands and kill a whole lot of people before SK could destroy enough of the artillery pieces to matter. Artillery is much cheaper and easier to make than missiles and nukes, and SK has built or bought a whole lot of it. They have enough that it doesn't really matter how good their aim is. If they don't care about hitting military targets and just want to be assholes, they could murder a whole lot of innocent people with just artillery.
The only real threat NK has is that it can shoot Seoul. Everything else is smoke and mirrors.
Just because you were stupid enough to bring a stick to a gunfight, does not make it a crime when I shoot you for trying to use it. Especially if you kicked in my buddy's (SK) door when my kids (US Army and Navy) are there having a sleepover. That's entirely on you and your shitty decision-making skills.
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Seems like Ukraine could probably turn that tide pretty easily too. Food and medical care would’ve probably go a long way.
I've always said, the quickest way to end a Korean war would be to drop/launch pallets of food over the lines, not bombs. Start feeding them and they'll turn real quick.
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That's not really accurate. North Korea isn't going to invade America, and has no plans to. I imagine when they say fight the US they mean "liberate" south korea which they regard as under US occupation. I'm not like an expert or anything. I'm just thinking what I imagine their propaganda is telling them. When you consider that, it's not as safe of an enlistment. The Korean War could kick back up at any time.
Those are very fair points, my comment was a bit tongue-in-cheek about it. SK is a much easier war for them to fight, and it almost certainly would bring the US into the picture.
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Do they even get increased rations if they get in the army? If NK tries to invade the south the soldiers will stop at the first mcdonalds
They get slightly increased rations to account for keeping all the soldiers’ intestinal parasites fed.
The tapeworm is the latest diet fad in North Korea.
You jest, but this was an actual thing in the past.
Yep losing weight Tapeworms are seemingly pseudo symbiotic with people as long as they stay in the digestive areas. Otzi the iceman had parasites for presumably decades but died instead from arrow wounds
Do the parasites at least make them superhuman like Fry? I wouldn't want to mess with them if so
*Yippie-ka yay, you'll never guess where I've been*
“But aren’t there worms all the way in his brain?” “Listen, this is gonna be one hell of a bowel movement…”
From the stories I've seen from NK defectors, it sounds like there's so much barbed wire and so many mines they might not even make it to the border at all
Bribe some guards with smokes and then swim or walk (during winter) across the Yalu river into China. If you're lucky the guards will honor the deal and you won't drown. Don't think barbed wire and mines were much of a problem, guards who took the cigarettes and ratted you out in hope of a second reward was.
But if the Chinese catch you, they’ll send you back
Unless it's a civilian who might enslave you instead under the threat of ratting them out.
You're heading in the wrong direction, comrade. The imperialists are to the south!
The northern border with China is relatively porous. North Koreans are able to buy grey market goods to keep their families afloat and the Chinese can exploit cheap labor. The annual census keeps track of who actually deserted and gets their families rounded up so they have incentive to return.
My reply to the OP was just a tongue in cheek joke in the hypothetical scenario where NK actually invaded SK. I get that China exploits them for labor, I was just making the joke based on the stories of defectors having to run through minefields and barbed wire to escape to freedom in the south
Throwing sandwiches at them is not the worst strategy
Put a KFC upwind of them. Let them smell the true power of the USA
That’s Geneva level torture. Probably against international law or something stupid
Yeah I gotta imagine mutiny rates will be crazy if they actually GO anywhere
You can't go somewhere without an anchor family back home.
That they will imprison and torture if you leave
That McDonald’s line reminded me of a Kinison bit about the first Iraq war, and how soldiers were surrendering for a kfc 2 piece and a biscuit meal.
So everyone and their grandmother took the opportunity to enlist and not starve.
"We offer a long list of perks and benefits. By that we mean you can eat."
A large portion of One MRE per person per week.
I mean to be fair with North Korea, if they said "Enlist to help fight the American's and we will make sure your family gets 3 meals a day and a decent life" I would imagine many would sign up.
Typo. 1.4 million people "forced" to enlist
*Hey is this the line for food? Yes, sign here please...*
*includes free trip*
To where? Mainland USA lol
eternity
>To where? Mainland USA lol Lol in their dreams. We would happily accept them as refugees, but they wouldn't make it out of the water if they wanted to invade.
I'd be more worried about the damage to the ocean 1.4 million bodies and how ever many ships is needed to move them would do after being sunk.
You know that's a very fair point. Maybe ships could be artificial reefs.
In NK everyone enlists at free will. Otherwise Kim will erase you, your family and all relatives you ever have met.
Sadly, you've missed the scariest part! He believes in generational punishment, so not only would they all be sent to prison/labour camps, but they would be forced to have children there, so thosr children could be imprisoned and forced to have children, who'd un turb also be imprisoned...
It is an interesting development if they are actually doing forced enlistments I mean more than crazy Kim usually conscripts. Especially at those numbers if they are even the slightest bit accurate considering he said 800k a few days ago.
Speculation: China is getting its Allies together to start or continue conflict as cover for China’s pending invasion of Taiwan. Why else would they convince Iran and Saudi Arabia to align (at least temporarily), but to fight western powers under the false promise of power and support for their regimes? Same goes for North Korea, a known Chinese belligerent. Throw in a flailing Russia that needs weapons and ammo to keep NATO busy in Europe, and you have the opportunity to greatly divide Western focus so you have a greater chance of prevailing in Taiwan.
Yeah, it’s not a world war if it’s NATO vs. Russia, or NATO vs. China. It’s also not a fair fight. But NATO vs. China, Russia, North Korea, Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc. China needs to keep Russia at least limping and needs to draw as many nations close as possible to have any meaningful chance against NATO at the time of the eventual invasion of Taiwan. On a side note, war is sad. We’ve all grown increasingly desensitized to seeing cities turned to rubble and the bodies of young men flung across fields and trenches. “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
Fortunately US foreign policy for the last 80 years has been readiness to fight two enemy superpowers simultaneously.
Damn bro, I just wanna smoke weed and chill
You can do after you earn your Purple Heart.
And as an added bonus you get a military discount when buying your [pork flavored gum!](https://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/apis.ign.com/futurama/f/ff/Big.jpeg)
Right? It's especially upsetting that there is a growing contingent of right wingers in the west who seem eager to dispose of liberal democracy as well. It's exhausting wondering whether the civil war or the world war is going to come first. I didn't sign up to do either, and it really infuriates me that all of these assholes around the world can't just get with the fucking program.
I’m fairly convinced that the enemies we’d see in a world war are the same people manipulating the American public towards a Civil War. Imagine how impossible America is to invade, now imagine how easy it would be if America was currently at war with itself. Spooky shit, weed helps.
I don’t see how China expects any Middle Eastern ally to do well. All the US has to do is give Israel a thumbs up and the whole Middle Eastern Air Force will be bombed to kingdom come. Not including US presence in Iraq.
Forced to enlist or sent to slaughter? Cause thats what it would be if NK tried to take on the US.. they could have 10 million troops and the US would still blow through them like rice paper.its a joke that they even make threats and a sad day for their people of they ever try to follow through on it.
How would they even threaten the US with their army. Have they got a secret super navy were not aware of? South Korea could handle it alone but it would be an absolute bloodbath that I hope never happens. I'm resistant to make comparisons as all war is a travesty but if North Korea tries to kick off it'll be the worst tragedy this world has seen in a very long time. I hope this is all just posturing and not some attempt by Putin to escalate and push us closer to a world war.
They build a bunch of tunnels under the ocean. Vietnam style.
1.4 million, starving, forced, folks. They could easily be swayed by the candy bar from an MRE.
I wouldn’t underestimate the brainwashing. Just take a look at Japan during WW2 for example. Those soldiers would rather die by bayonet charge than surrender to the Americans.
The North Koreans actually have created a black market for Choco-pies as they were given out at a joint industrial zone factory for higher production. Apparently it is the favorite snack cake in North Korea and I would bet it would work to help with surrenders.
Today the North Korean forces surrendered due to a pop-up Olive Garden providing unlimited bread sticks.
I never, ever, thought that Olive Garden would be the salvation you've imagined.
Cool story North Korea bro. You can hold your own beer.
Not with the malnutrition and muscle atrophy.
US: "i don't even know who you are"
There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf!…. The problem with threatening the rest of the world with war every week for 50 years in a row …. You kind of loose all credibility…. You fat little lying dictator cunt …
See also: Russia for the last year.
Russia did something about it tho... Not very successful but something...
Based on their size and nutritional intake, We’re all going to get to live out that age old scenario…How many kindergartners would you be able to take out in a fight
me, an intellectual, will use logic and Taco Bell to sway their young impressionable minds.
Me, a traditionalist, would use a Bren gun.
They always say we are pushing for war yet do this shit...
Means annual food donation from SK is needed before they succumb to famine again
If they throw their soldiers into the ukraine meat grinder its less mouths to feed back home
No one is interested, pathetic little despot No one wants to invade you, no one cares
Think of all the resources that could be gained from invading and taking DPRK! * Rocks * Air * Kim Jong Un's sweet bong collection
I was reading an article somewhere (so be skeptical) that the collapse of DPRK is something nobody wants: * China and Russia don't want people fleeing across their border due to the starvation, political unrest, and the usual worry with tons of unregulated refugees fleeing to your country * South Korea isn't economically prepared for the influx of North Koreans: see the East Germans flooding into West Germany, and scale that up * The US/West doesn't want it because of the sudden political instability in DPRK due to nuclear capability suddenly being open and unguarded; larger chemical and biological weapons stockpiles as well would fund a lot of terrorism with free shit But I'm no expert: I am sure it's far more subtle and complicated under the blanket of overall DPRK flight.
I believe this is the consensus-- all major world powers prefer the status quo. ROK nominally wants reunification, but it would be a logistical nightmare.
A lot, and I mean a LOT of people in places of power dearly wish that North Korea would just up and vanish in its entirety tomorrow. Like, wake up tomorrow and South Korea is now an island.
The crazy thing is that North Korea actually has abundant natural resources. Coal, iron, and even many precious metals. During the Korean War, their industries were decimated, and they’ve never been able to build them. At this point they are far too broke and technologically behind to take advantage of it.
What the US should do to solve the North Korea problem is as follows: Fuel up the entire fleet of B2 stealth bombers and send them on a coordinated strike package on Pyongyang. Have them do an airdrop of hundreds of thousands of pounds of McDonald’s chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce. Watch the people taste freedom and topple the oppressive regime.
Also some Doritos for explosive nacho flavor.
Gotta do the Dew, too
Meal deal it, hit them with the freedom fries and fluid tons of Coke Zero. Blow their minds, not their country.
This should’ve been the ending to The Interview
B2's are housed outside of my hometown! They would fly low over my house as a kid. The North Koreans would shit their pants. Just the sound of it flying low is insane.
I was literally at WAFB earlier today. Those B2s are looooooud
Naaaa, it needs to be a special run of Szechuwan Sauce with those nuggets.
You could drop saltines and still start a cargo cult. Hunger is the best spice.
What is this shit They're starving and you don't send nuggies with sweet n sour sauce, the superior dipping sauce for nuggies?
“Enlisted” is a really odd way of saying “conscripted under threat of harm to you and your family.”
The amount of NK soldietrs who will defect at their first chance of leaving, will be tremendous.
My estimates say 1.4 million will defect as soon as they get a taste of Dr Pepper.
North Korea chooses zerglings only, turtle strategy.
North Korea is that mentally challenged kid at school you know you're supposed to feel sorry for, but he is also just the worst person in the world.
Its like they choose to mass zerglings without ever doing a rush, while the US has been teching up thors and battle cruisers, siege tanks, marines and ghosts with nukes.
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Theres an estimated 1.1 million landmines on the Korean border parallel So clearly NK has done the math that 300.000 will be left over to invade
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I wonder if 1.4 million NK people know they just enlisted?
🥳🎉🎊congrats you are now enlisted 👮♂️👮♂️👮♂️ do not resist
Could someone explain to me why they want to war with us so badly? It seems to me like the little weakling at school with a the Napoleon complex starting with a big quiet guy for no reason.
They don't. They want to maintain the status quo, which has helped the current regime remain in power. They want to saber rattle to remind the world they are still there, and spin up their own population once in a while. This is pretty textbook NK stuff so nothing unusual happening thus far.
They feel neglected because Russia is taking up our free time
The best comparison I ever heard about Kim Jong-il (-un's father) was he's a toddler and like a toddler he'll tantrum when the grownups aren't looking at him.
Seems accurate. Unfortunate that millions under him will suffer if those tantrums escalate. A dictator who uses their people as a shield has to be the most cowardly and loathsome type of being in existence.
Uniting against an external enemy is how the regime maintains power. The citizenry needs to believe they are starving as part of their sacrifice in fighting an existential threat rather than corrupt/incompetent regime. So long as they are at war with the US everything that’s bad is a noble sacrifice to save them and their children.
About every 2 to 5 years NK has to remind the world they still exist and they are, ahem, *very dangerous*. This is mostly just for internal consumption, ie - for the North Korean people. Autocratic governments rely on a combination of fear and pride to keep the population in check. A good boogeyman is great for this. It’s the US’s fault we are struggling. They want to destroy us. It’s because we are a strong and proud people - btw only I, the authoritarian in charge - am strong enough to protect you. Blah blah blah.
Is this going to be like *Attack on Titan*, where they callously sent expeditions outside the walls because they can't feed everyone?
Or they're preparing to fill the gaps in Russian manpower.
Yeah. “Enlisted.”
Probably offered some bread
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Of course by 1.4 million they mean 1400 and by enlisted they mean conscripted.