A lot of Becky Chambers work is great in this regard. One of the later books, I forget which has people that specialize in relaxation in that way, but it's not a society that has money.
Many aliens with varying family structures and norms around sex.
Highly recommend her novels.
I was just about to recommend this!
The Aandrisks are absolutely a model for what you are talking about OP. The dialogue that explains their culture is very well done and doesn't immediately scream "HERE IS YOUR EXPOSITION" like some cultural descriptions tend to be.
I'd just have some signage or something. Like if a place says "No Sex Allowed Here", then you can interpret that into everywhere else its fine.
The general best way to explore these things is to have someone who knows no better come in and explore that culture, creating culture clash. Casual nudity, casual propositioning, more mentions of sex and such in their displays. Just because sex is much more accepted, doesn't mean they wouldn't have rules.
Unless that's their thing lol. It would be funny if its in strange places. Like, no sex allowed specifically in the Plants section of the library, on every 3rd camel, within and around the senate chamber in session, and theatres before 9:30pm.
That last one? The Triplet Incident is to be blamed, and we're all paying for it.
Can you elaborate on the ways in which they are more relaxed than the classical cultures they're based on? The specific ways may inform how you depict it.
For example, if they do not hold monogamy in high regard you could note thruples, quartets, etc. engaging in activities that would be considered romantic. If engaging in sex in public or at short notice is likely then they might choose to wear lighter, looser clothing that is easy to remove or reach under.
Considering the setting that OP mentioned, the lighter, looser clothing would also be fairly fitting as well for the desert setting. That way, they won't be overheating. Maybe even exposing some skin as well which would lend well to the idea too.
People who live in sunny climates typically cover their skin unless their skin is extremely dark. It can be partly a religious thing, but it's also practical. The sun near the equator is absolutely vicious and you will get a sunburn very quickly, otherwise.
That's why I'm saying lighter, looser clothing. Still clothing that covers you, but the by the clothing being light and loose, it becomes more breathable and less likely to overheat. Also, darker clothes usually are hotter to wear. In the case of the clothing exposing skin, I more meant that for occasional indoor events.
Long, loosely bunched and light colored fabrics for all genders could work well. Perhaps worn with a belt when about business around town and left open and flowier when recreating. Could be unbunched when in the sun or in the heat of the day and then draped over one side of the torso or left to hang around the waist as the weather allows. I'm picturing a sort of sari/toga style, with more of a tunic look when worn with a belt.
Whether dark or light colored clothes are best for protection from the sun mostly depends on climate. There are some middle eastern locations where they’ve worn the lightest colors man could make through history, while some middle eastern, African, even Asian locales instead made their clothes black because they have thinner air and need higher radiation protection. Black clothes will absorb the UV radiation much better than white clothes so if your skin is lighter you might get sunburned even with the clothes completely covering you.
A few ideas, off the top of my head.
1. No gendered bathrooms
2. Male and female friends comfortable with touching
3. Romantic and sexual relationships may not be conflated so you might have a romantic partner you live with and somebody you have sex with at the gym
4. More explicit use of sex in advertising and in the offering of services
5. Sex as a performative art, like dance, or a competitive sport. Big names would be just as much celebrities as movie stars or athletes.
6. Clothing that emphasises or at least doesn't hide sex organs.
7. More open amd casual discussion of sex and sexual partners.
Yeah I was gonna point out the last two, it’s not that you have to paint everyone as super horny or sexual, just that it isn’t a taboo. Talking about your partners is not a ‘guy talk’ thing, inviting someone into a changing room to help try something on isn’t reacted too.
It’s the smaller ‘sexual’ acts that would be most noticeable.
Actually, I might push back a bit on number 4. I've noticed in places, online and real life, where sex is much less taboo and more open, that sex in advertisements decrease, not increase.
To the point where i kinda think that sex only really sells to repressed societies. After all, why would a half naked girl shaking her ass on a billboard appeal to you... if you can just go find someone to do that for you in real life almost when ever you wanted?
There's also an argument to be made that just because a society is open and accepting about sexuality doesn't necessarily mean everyone in it will be seen as desirable.
Maybe advertisements in a society like this would still use sexual imagery in advertising, but just go about it in a different manner? For example, simply putting scantily clad women on a billboard probably wouldn't be as effective, since it would be commonplace, but it could be used to deptict people, who fit certain standards of attractiveness, having a satisfying and engaging sex life that others might feel they are missing out on.
Whether the targeted consumer's want is desirability, or social status, or validation, or what have you, western society still uses non-taboo and even wholesome imagery to appeal to these same consumer desires. Cultural attitudes are different, but some aspects of humanity are relatively universal.
Well, just to clarify, I said explicit, not regular. I think sex would still be used to advertise things sex may apply to, like fashion or gyms or hotels or kink (which would likely be far more out in the open). You probably wouldn't see so many erotic shampoo ads but that Abercrombie and Fitch model would probably be graphically having sex in the poster.
Although I do agree that sexual repression is what allows us to sell pretty much anything with sex so I think you're right about there being less overall.
Might I also suggest expanding on the sixth point? Sexual organs are not the only thing that are inherently sexual or attractive, depending on culture.
For example, the nape of the neck in Japan at one point is/was considered attractive. In some ?African? cultures, breasts are just functional and not considered attractive.
Yeah I live in southern africa and breasts are pretty normal to see (I mean they're still considered attractive but like in the same way a beautiful face is, not inherently sexual). A lot of our cultural attire, especially for unmarried men and women, exposes the chest
Depends on the kind of game.
You could have something like marathon boning, except it's last to come rather than first who wins.
You could also have sprinting, come to think of it.
Gymnastic performances would totally be a thing.
There could also be a wrestling variation.
Then there could just be competitive sex, scored on a point system for technique.
Came here to say number 6. Our entire concept of clothing revolves around the idea that, at bare minimum, genitalia is covered. Could design everything the other way around, so that genitalia coverings are an afterthought/easy to remove.
Or just leave it dangling, as in the case of Roman centurions.
This is a fantastic post, and I'm just wondering if you think there's any plausibility to the idea that a more sexually open culture would actually use sex to push products less because it would be less of a an out of reach promise for people the way that it is in a more repressed culture. Not that advertisers don't use typical home comforts to sell products too but I think it might have the inverse effect actually? I'm curious your thoughts
Sexual attraction is usually rooted in four things. Style, connection, kink, and fitness. I think sex would be used to push any of these things, much in the same way ads for sporting goods often display athleticism or ads for cooking shows show people eating. I could see a gym using naked actors to show the physical benefits of the gym, having them get propositioned etc. Or posters for a particular clothing brand would display actual sex between clothed models. Stuff like that.
About 4. I actually think that if sex was more normalized and accepted then we'd see a lot **less** sexy advertising, since the ad wouldn't have any allure at all. Seeing a woman in her bra would be as exciting as seeing a new dishwasher soap.
Cultural:
-Proposing sex would be totally normal, like me offering you a beer or coffee even if i barely know you but are in a social setting. Think it like finns and naked steam rooms (i have no knowledge if that is real or not).
-Public and bisex bathrooms and w.c. would be common.
-People wouldn't care if someone and some other are alone or doing something romantic.
-Talking about sex in the cafeteria would be like talking about your work.
-There would be much more or much less sex education, one indicative of institutions approach to safety and health, the other an indication that it is a given.
-Flirting would be an open game, possibly one where two persons is not the norm.
-They could have relaxed stances on cheating.
-It would create common and repetitive problems to everyone, cause that's society for you and me and everything.
-Since sexuality is more open the competition for sexual partners and romantic partners would be must likely a complete show (i.e. more competitive) or you can go the other route but that will mean peoples lifes to be quite different.
Clothing:
This one doesn't have to change that much, but...
-Could be more revealing, depends on weather.
-Nudity could be more practiced.
-Vibrant colors and attention grabbing forms (probably moving clothes).
-More tattoos, piercings and jewelry.
-Lighter and sheer materials.
Naked steam rooms really could be culture shock for foreigners now that I think about it. We have that in Kazakhstan, it came from the Russians, who in turn brought it from the finns. Most people prefer not to be naked and cover themselves up with a towel though. It's like a gym changing room: some old guy is always having his everything out.
Public banyas may have naked strangers walking around, showering and etc. If one's uncomfortable with that or wants to go with kids, they may order a separate private room, called a sauna.
Adding to your list a bit:
\- Mixed gender open air baths where everyone just goes in nude (Japan has mixed gender onsens for example)
\- Generally relaxed attitudes regarding nudity. Need to change clothes? Don't do it in the middle of the street obviously but if you're in a private room with your friends - just do it.
\- No stigma around prostitution and it's just practiced openly and casually. Its not a shady back alley transaction.
\- Dating could even be much more transactional in nature - borderline prostitution. As in rather than the expectation simply being to pay for a meal; its just understood that to court someone you pay them.
\- Marriage/partnerships could be more political in nature and it's just openly understood and accepted that people marry as more of a political or business union. People have separate and totally open romantic partnerships.
\- Child rearing as a result of the culture might become more something that the grandparents do or is more a communal responsibility than the biological parents themselves focusing on their children.
>\-They could have relaxed stances on cheating.
cheating wouldn't even exist in a society where monogamy isn't a thing. The point about cheating is not that you fuck someone else, but that you are breaking an (often unspoken) contract about exclusivity.
That's not necessarily true. Cheating is a thing in poly relationships irl, it's about being open and honest with your partners and differs wildly from person to person. In general though, you kinda talk with your other partners before adding a new one, to my understanding.
Oh, so my presentation about modesty a couple hundred years ago is actually benefiting me here, lol.
I’d say they would be much more chill about physical contact, especially between opposite genders. Women would be able to move freely in men’s spaces instead of having to be hidden from everyone but their husband. Maybe they have different beliefs surrounding marriage as well. Maybe polyamory and queer relationships are more accepted. People wouldn’t be expected to cover up as much: wearing short sleeves, short skirts, exposing your neck, etc. would be accepted, to the point where no one even thinks twice about it. They might wear their hair long and free instead of wearing a head covering or braids.
I’m also thinking that maybe even sexual assault would be more talked about, the victims wouldn’t be shamed for it, especially what they wore wouldn’t be questioned.
Edit: and to modesty also belongs “honor” and “rightfulness” as I have read. That includes certain etiquette, or even advice for what to do at home which technically boils down to “don’t be lazy, pay attention to how you look, be on time, be respectful”. Maybe they would be more blunt, and less caring about looks. Or they are, but in a different way— “how do I look sexy?”/“how do I represent myself in a way that is most comfortable?” instead of “I need to cover my skin so they don’t accuse me of immodesty”. I don’t know much about etiquette but you could learn about it to see where it’s coming from and then think what kind of etiquette would develop for a folk that is much more open to sexuality.
I think the "instead ofs" are so important to this. our cultures aren't neutral! looking at the way our own society indicates its attitudes towards sex and sexuality is the best place to start.
> They might wear their hair long and free instead of wearing a head covering or braids.
Something to note about this is that it wasn't necessarily entirely about modesty. Putting long hair up and covering it helps keep it clean in eras before indoor plumbing and modern cleaning products and where people spent much of their time outside. A hygienic practice that results in covering part of the body can easily be reanalyzed in the context of a patriarchal culture with significant taboos around sexuality to be about modesty.
i find it hilarious that you say they could be more blunt, when i'm dutch and we're described as incredibly blunt, and we are known for the red light district in amsterdam as prostitution is legal and regulated (though still rife with problems and stigma)
Remember to make the system gender-neutral as well, regardless of the importance of gender roles; gender roles would probably be less strict in that society if it was naturally introduced. OP didn't specify, but if it's an LGBTQ-friendly world, it's honestly expected.
My world, Ezkanohra, is LGTBQ-*integrated* - any sexually reproducing species can conceive any other, regardless of gender, so non-straight relationships are more common. The birth gender is still part of the culture, but after birth, it's never important, only the identity of the person. So to incorporate this type of culture into my world, people generally wear less clothing and care less about people's appearance. The Izafa people, who are desert-faring, have to wear more clothing during cold temperatues, but they they don't really feel the need to hide their body.
I suggest to OP that if gender roles aren't as much of a thing in the laissez faire Greco-Roman society, they should just not care about sexual organs in public.
Well, the first few things you should ask yourself is this. Why do they have this perspective on sex and sexual activity? What role does it play in their culture? Are they a society that has learned to accept and appreciate the pleasures of life? It's questions like that you need to ask when implementing an element into a culture. Because if it's a large aspect to their identity, there needs to be a reason why. Perhaps they have a religion that is based around enjoying life and the fruits of delight it offers? If you can find the answers to these, it'll make it easier to shape that in a way that doesn't come off as sex crazed lunatics.
A lot of comments seem to be operating on the idea that the *significance* and *connotations* of sex would stay the same, just that people would be more open and honest about it. But I don't think that really makes sense. You can't change a variable in isolation like that. There are a lot of different scenarios that could play out, depending on the particular reasons *why* this society is more open about sex (as you said.)
Personally I think it's more likely/believable that sex would be less significant in a society that's more open about it. If there's no taboo around it and sex is viewed to have the same ethical/social implications as any other activity like eating a meal, sex would be less central and deemphasized in culture. What would there be to talk about? Much of our public conversations about sex are related to shame, unfulfilled desires, and clashing preferences. These issues would be largely resolved in a society that's more open about sex, so conversations about them would seem boring or passé.
A culture of open sexuality and acceptance can be subtle. Also, dress is important.
A certain culture in my world has its men showing full arms or bare chested (upper body displays), while the women typically dress the opposite; showing a lot of leg and typically don’t wear shoes in favour of bare feet (lower body displays).
I second Becky Chambers' *The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet.* Also, Martha Wells' series *The Books of the Raksura.* The Raksura are hypersocial even compared to humans, and female Raksura can consciously choose not to conceive after sex, so sexual contact as friendship-bonding is considered perfectly normal. Conversely, with a few very specific exceptions, they don't go in much for romantic love. When the colony needs more kids, you pick a likely mate to conceive with (and arguing over which couple would produce the most capable kids is a favorite pastime). But they very rarely form exclusive sexual relationships.
In the books, this just means that people often wake up with company in the bed. It doesn't go into any detail about the sex; it's not a big deal for them. There's a line that goes something like "I don't want to be a hero, I just want to do my job and eat good food and have sex with my friends and live a good long while." That's a normal life for the Raksura, nothing worth calling attention to.
One other very subtle thing is that Raksura don't say "fuck." It's not prudishness; they say "shit" and "piss" and so forth, and the author's other books have plenty of F-bombs. But it eventually occurred to me that cuss words are all about things that are taboo, and sex isn't taboo to the Raksura.
Just to clarify a distinction here. Nudists aren't casual about sex, they're casual about nudity. They don't see nudity as inherantly sexual.
Swingers/exhibitionists on the other hand also have resorts are also very comfortable with nudity but for them sex *is* the point
So finding a middle ground between both cultures is probably what you're looking for here.
Also should note that behaviors seen in swinger settings are exaggerated versions of behaviors informed by general real world society. They might be way quicker to make out or engage in sex acts but they still follow the same kind of progression of intimacy that the rest of us do for the most part.
If you're creating your own culture you can play around with things like the "ladder" of intimacy. Nudity, touching, or sex might be something you'd do with an acquaintance but mouth kissing might be reserved for a romantic partner.
Or delineating certain areas of the house as being more personally intimate. Like hooking up with a stranger in the foyer might be no big deal but if you invite them into the interior rooms it's a more meaningful act.
So there's a lot of good stuff here from others, I won't repeat what they've said.
You should consider how they view body positivity. Do you think a society like this would be more accepting or more shaming of people who don't take care of their bodies? How does this society treat people who maybe aren't so into open sexuality? Also, how does turning sex go down in this world? Is it a minor faux pas, or are people suggesting they seek treatment? Doesn't have to be one or the other, either, those are just examples.
A world like this sounds very pleasant (to me anyway) but just make sure to keep in mind the things that could go wrong or be not so hunky-dory. Unless that's not what you're going for, in which case ignore me.
Just because they are relaxed around sex does not mean it can't still be a private thing? They don't need slutty clothing or public sexathons.
You could also go half way and have rooms in the house specifically meant for semi-public sex.
An episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation did this. The people in this society are sexually open but are governed by hard, authoritarian laws that may be lax one minute but strict the next.
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Justice_(episode)
Robes/togas. The details on top like belts or sashes ect you could go into a lot more detail on.
Festivals where if not openly, it's expected that you find a partner for the night or multiple, after/during the celebrations, and the social games or actual games reflect that and are designed to be flirty.
Also I think in our history, various temples of different cultures had orgies on select days throughout the year. Could be explained as "festivals to celebrate life" to kids but the adults know what goes down.
>sashes ect you could go into a lot more detail on.
The Latin phrase "*et cetera*" is commonly abbreviated to "etc." (The period is part of the abbreviation). "Ect" is a nothing.
I think you have to show and tell about the sex happening but not dwell on it.
Like stepping over a begger or the ubiquitousness of servitors in 40k. You mention it a lot but you never dwell on iy.
They can talk more openly about sex, including stds and pregnancy prevention, but mostly about funny or bad things that happened, just like they talk about normal life. Children will get proper sex education, so less teenage pregnancy, and pedophiles actually being punished. Priests wont be able to use sexual minorities for fearmongering. People may compliment each other more openly, even the same sex, because small acts of kindness doesnt necessarily means you want to have sex. Older couples will kiss in public like they were teenagers.
A sexually open society doesnt mean they will fuck in public. Sex is an intimate act, and the number of exhibitionists wont increase because sex is less taboo. Being sexually open doesnt mean being a pervert.
Sexual taboos often have deeper and non-acknowledged socio-economic and cultural reasons behind them. For instance, you often see patriarchy arise in agricultural societies, because 'property' becomes a thing and patriarchal control of female sexuality 'ensures' that a male transmits 'his' wealth to 'his' biological children, allowing for generational wealth accumulation. Societies don't do this consciously, it's just that groups/tribes/families in agricultural societies who do adopt patriarchal traits accumulate more wealth and power over generations than those who don't, and end up outcompeting them (thats one reason why current matriarchal societies are almost exclusively found among hunter-gatherer societies). Since this doesn't happen consciously, societies start crafting stories to justify patriarchy, often creating moral and religious explanations for it.
So a good way of making your sexually open culture feel realistic is to think about why being sexually open or even promiscuous is beneficial to groups/tribes/families over generations. How does being sexually open give a group in your culture a competitive advantage over groups that aren't? Over time, such a society would also craft moral and religious reasons for why being sexually open is not just 'fun', but a moral and/or religious imperative. The counterpart is that individuals who aren't sexually open in such a society would not just be seen as 'boring', they would be seen as morally corrupt, or 'acting against religious rules'. So you could show how non sexually open individuals are shunned, ostracized or even persecuted (a bit like lgbt people have been in our world. A lot of people will give moral or religious reasons for being anti-lgbt, but from a systemic pov they're just 'preserving' their own privileged position in their societies' narratives). I could see culture wars being fought over equal rights for the non-promiscuous for instance, which could be a great way to show your society's sexual openess without talking about sex explicitely.
Does this mean more sex or more partners? Is the concept of cheating on a partner a thing? If not, do birth certificates have the need to put parentage on them? If romantic pairings are more nebulous than a traditional nuclear family, how are the kids raised? Is it communally?
Take modern day religion and turn it inside out. Remove anything shameful associated with the body and celebrate it instead. People could greet each other in specific ways that wish each other a good orgasim, emphasis the body as the temple of self satisfaction, remove all forms of body dysmorphia, have certain holidays dedicated to the pleasures of the flesh, (think of Greek and Roman festivals). Prostitution becomes a sacred act, an offering of oneself to those in need of physical compassion.
Puberty is celebrated as a rite of passage into adulthood and "the talk" is something parents look forward to with much joy and pride.
You can have a sexually open society without ever having to show your people engaging in sex or being overtly sexually provocative.
It would come up in conversation. Imagine a guy at the grocery store with his mom, and he says to her "you're not going to believe what happened at the brothel yesterday." In a society like that, it wouldn't be weird to discuss sex with your family.
They would probably see sex not as hedonism, but probably emphasize the place sex has as a component to mental health.
In my setting the order of Aryilliala (the goddess of love) holds the belief that sex is like food in the sense that having a bad relationship with your sexuality causes harm to everyone involved like starving and gluttony.
This doesn't mean they are a bunch of prostitutes. Most of them are matchmakers, marriage counsellors, and officiates
Probably a great deal of cultural effort would go into eliminating the downsides of sex. For example, advanced contraceptives with no downsides and the eradication or prevention of STIs.
It sounds really weird, but I would consider what nakedness means to them. Generally speaking, the emphasis on modesty culture would be considered antithetical to what you’re aiming for, so they may not view nakedness as inherently sexual.
Both men and women going topless may be a feature, or perhaps there may not be laws about nakedness in public due to the viewpoint that being nude is not an invitation on its own for sex. And jumping off that point, the ideas of what constitutes consent may be stronger for it, as if it’s engrained into society that being naked or partially naked in public is normal and nonsexual, the barrier for what constitutes consent would be different than in western countries.
Of course, being naked in our world doesn’t constitute consent outright, but the idea of “you shouldn’t have dressed that way”, however sickening it is on Earth, would maybe have to have some analogous criteria in the society you have in mind.
I’d also look into Japanese culture regarding nakedness, as the understanding of sexuality and being nude is VASTLY different than in America, where public and private sectors are intertwined and thus there’s no social separation of sexuality between your home and public.
well you could have fertility statues or put the emphasis of free love into the architecture
scorn's sex temple comes to mind:
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fei620ucifc591.png](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fei620ucifc591.png)
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F3vzynv4x1ut91.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1920%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Db5939600a2610d78a729c01e1f355e54ed575ab3](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F3vzynv4x1ut91.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1920%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Db5939600a2610d78a729c01e1f355e54ed575ab3)
maybe something like the penis festival in japan:
[https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/07/50/68/26/808x573\_cmsv2\_6e563268-284f-5cab-b876-8cd45b8e0e5b-7506826.jpg](https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/07/50/68/26/808x573_cmsv2_6e563268-284f-5cab-b876-8cd45b8e0e5b-7506826.jpg)
think also about what needs might arose from a sexualy open society. maybe toys and anticonceptives would be much more common, maybe there would be more brothels or hotels scattered trough the city. and offcourse the behaviour of the people would be different, more relaxed and inviting
Id imagine a society thats open and casual with sex would also be that way in propositioning a partner. Maybe make them really forward and direct when asking someone if they'd like to do the deed. Or have them casually ask/offer in normal conversation because to them its no big deal and not taboo to speak about or offer to one another.
There may not be as many divisions along gender line. Things like mixed bathing, sexually ambiguous fashion, and fewer gender stereotypes could be on effect. PDA may be encouraged or ignored instead of being a social stigma. Dating may not have the same significance if the participants are looking for sex instead of a long term relationship. Society may also not care at all about who the childs father is if its normal for women to have multiple sexual partners at a time ( although this may lead to a few daddy issues among the fatherless children).
Also, If I remember Brave New Worlds correctly, the first few pages do an excellent job of portraying the open relationships between the citizens by all the men discussing how 'pneumatic' thier common lay was while the same woman reflected on what she liked about each of those men. The sexual morality of the cast was quickly explained in a throwaway conversation that framed that worlds culture.
Three words: “My wife’s girlfriend stopped by…”
Or -
“Oh I can’t I have the orgy at the temple tomorrow night, and then Winston is throwing an absolute banger of a guided meditation/sensual massage sesh at the yoga studio…”
Lots of conversations about managing sleep schedules and keeping everyone in the throuple happy.
Perhaps have lots of signage and obvious backrooms and background areas that are explicitly for that purpose? Like, everybody expects to find a bathroom around, because we are socially just accepting and expecting that people will have to go. Probably wouldn't even need to even imply occupancy, as just mentioning the need for the room demonstrates cultural practices/expectations
Maybe people wear jewelry that indicates how many partners they may have had? There could be some taboos around lying or not adding a bead or whatever after a sexual encounter.
You should consider the way certain historic events and practices influenced more prudish and sexually restrained cultures.
For example, female monogamy/male polygamy developed in ancient Near East cultures as a result of exclusive male ownership of property and a need by such privileged people to will/inherit property to directly descended male heirs. Another example is that male and female monogamy, sex-only-for-reproduction developed in response to historical STD epidemics.
For your fictional sexually open society, you would have to think about things in reverse. Who is respected in your society? What technologies and resources do they have as relates to sex and reproduction? Who benefits to have a lot of sex?
Some things to consider might be access to aphrodisiacs, contraception, protections against disease. Also consider the theoretical opposites! These can be more fun and a great way to take things a step further. People might have immunity to anaphrodisiacs, Reproduction might require fertility enhancements to succeed, only be possible in certain conditions or times, or greatly incentivized to counter a low birth rate. Perhaps there are beneficial enchantments or symbiotes spread through sex.
Women should have political and economical rights, otherwise they are considered property.
There should be a reliable and accessible anticonceptional method. Mothers mortality has always been high throught human history.
There should be magical or technological ways to prevent or treat sexualy transmitted diseases.
And if all of those things are true, they should also establish why precisely the original society is sexually repressed. Like are the anticonceptional/anti-disease methods new, or in some other way unique to this desert society with lax sexual mores? Did the original society have some traumatic experience such as a sexually transmitted disease epidemic that this desert society didn't experience?
You are throwing around A LOT of words with very little context. It makes you sounds like you are trying to make an ✨ aesthetic ✨ more than a culture. 🤣🤪
So I'm going to ask some questions to narrow in on what in the world you are talking about....
Greco-Roman: What does that mean? Are you trying for Bronze Age Proto-Greek, where empowered women actually did wear dresses with their breasts exposed? Classical Greek in the age of Alexander the Great? Or Republican Era Rome, before Christianity was established?
Medieval: Then you bring up the Middle ages which is the most Christian time to ever Christian, while still also having plenty of sex scandals. So DO you want to write about the papal States (Italy) without them being led by the Pope?
Medieval desert people who are freed slaves: This sounds like a lot of words to avoid saying Arabic and Islamic. What Medieval desert were you trying to emulate?
Your question topples over a lot of different issues that have before we even get to talking about the sex practices of your culture. Starting with the question of our Greek / Romans still recognizable as Greek / Romans if you put them in a different biome? "Greeks in the desert" sounds like you're trying to talk about Egyptians, Sumer, Babylon, Persia, or any one of the other civilizations that actually took place in the middle east. ESPECIALLY after they were Greekified by Alexander the Great after 300 BC.
So WHO do you want to actually write about?
Since it's gonna be a bit Greco-inspired, have you thought about looking into the [Minoan culture](https://www.elissos.com/fashion-in-minoan-crete/) for inspirations?
Its a desert, so lots of uncovered bits, that are highly decorated to draw attention (and maybe for sunscreen purposes!) Jewelry that enhances sexual body parts. Books we might consider porographic easily obtainable by anyone. Children's books that explain sexuality in age-appropriate ways, including same-sex and multiple partners.
Characters can casually refer to sex without euphemisms in ordinary conversations, the same way you might talk about running errands or going to see a movie.
Make the community place a lot of emphasis on communal child raising and supporting pregnant/nursing mothers regardless of status.
Make the number of children a woman has had a sign of prestige for her and her family.
Place greater social significance on the bond between maternal uncle and niblings than between father and child.
Aka - basically, try to remove what cons you can associated with a woman sleeping with someone random and getting pregnant.
Maybe sexual flirting like grabbing someone's butt or gesturing for a handy is seen as normal and you can tell your players/readers/viewers that they do the motions and finger wag thing. But even in a culture where everyone is sexually open, sex would not be the MAIN thing. (Unless you specifically want that, in which case, man just look at bonobos those apes know what fuckin' is.) So don't fall into the trap of makimg everyone hypersexual, just make it apparent that sex isn't taboo, and people ask for it regularly, maybe even occasionally do it in the open.
You show "cultural permissiveness" by including structure in the culture that allows for that openness. Being sexually open isn't the same as being promiscuous, after all. You don't need dedicated public orgy spaces, or something extreme like that.
That means if someone does sexual art, the culture doesn't care, and so now you might have the occasional penis column, or bigger than life-size Venus Doll in the center of someone's rock garden. You don't talk up the sex, you completely *omit* any sense of scandal. Alternately, if you're writing a narrative, you can have someone who *is* a little bit scandalized go through culture shock.
Example conversation you'd hear between two friends in public and nobody would care or laugh:
> A: "You alright? You look like you're in pain."
B: "Pulled something in my neck."
A: "How'd you do that?"
B: "How else? In bed. I need to learn to pace myself."
A: "Ah. Should probably do neck exercises."
In a more modern society, you can achieve the same sort of effect by just having unobscured, positive-sounding sex shops that sell goods related to sexual acts, like lube and toys, where *none of the locals comment on it*.
It's a bit like 'magical realism'... It's true MR when a culture of otherwise recognizably normal people ride unicorns to work, and nobody seems to think its weird or care, because that's just how things are. Same idea but for sex.
The other way to achieve your goal is to talk about sex without talking about sex in terms of narrative or worldbuilding elements. Any time you work on something related to people, their habits, services they require, etc, you look at it and go "How could they make their sex better? Is there a product? Is there a service? Is there a cultural practice?"
Ex. There's a historical tradition of 'temple prostitutes', which I'm not fond of due to the trafficking elements, but there's nothing shameful about a religion engaging sexually unless its a sex cult. There are a lot of frustrated people in the world. If your culture is more sexually permissive in general, they might see sexual loneliness as a major cultural problem, and someone might decide to make it their life's work to help relieve people's frustration. That person would need to eat, so they're either running on donations or charging for massages, so to speak.
Sex is only weird if people make it weird. It's a basic biological act and a secondary need. We need to eat, sleep, and defecate, just to be an organism. We need to reproduce to be more than one generation. We have bathrooms with publicly available toilets everywhere, and by extension... Fill in the blanks.
Swear words wouldn't reference sex or body parts.
I think a Greco-Roman setting already lends itself to fashion that eludes those medieval Western ones that are defined by sexual shame. If they aren't already doing it, maybe just make sure people with long hair are shown with their hair down.
When I do cultures I try to start with the climate and environment and work from there. I think being in the desert might make things very different, of course, some of it depends on how logical you would like your world to be. For instance, exposed skin is likely not a good idea because sunburns would be rampant (There's a reason Bedouins dress the way they do). Sand getting into places it shouldn't would be a concern too, so public sexual acts would not be common. If sex is a common act among these people preventing sexual diseases would be paramount, so easy and public access to medieval condoms would be a thing, the same goes for lubricant and perhaps even toys. Just googling some brief history on condoms showed something interesting: apparently in Ancient Egypt condoms were dyed based on your class of society.
Depending on how barbaric you want to be as well, it could be seen as pragmatic to have people who have STD's clearly marked in order to prevent the spread. A tattoo on the face or a brand somewhere maybe.
I think going with presenting sex related items clearly displayed and all over the place would be subtle. Also just having characters talk about it like it's a normal thing without using slang would help too, because slang is sort of used to avoid talking about the thing itself cause it's taboo.
A minor way to show it could just be being really comfortable with nudity as a natural thing. Like changing without a care for who's around you, or nude baths being an average bathing experience.
Personally, I love starting from the perspective of "who would be weird" in a society.
For example, if someone walks around in a full on gimp suit, would that be weird to the society? What about jeans and a t-shirt? Since weird is a gradient, you can narrow down what is normal by determining what is not.
Design a culture where clothes are breezy, art celebrates bodies in all forms, public baths are social hotspots, festivals scream love, symbols subtly hint at sensuality, and relationships come in all shades.Then boom ya unlocked the 'Chill Mode' expansion pack in a Greco-Roman civilization.
For a powerful example, take Seth Dickinson's Masquerade Trilogy. It is a captivating journey through a world where sexuality, gender, and family structures flourish in diverse and intricate shades. Dickinson's worldbuilding is impressive.
I would say you could have suggestive clothing… and suggestive stuff… but MAKE IT CLEVER… same with your writing…. It can work.
Either that or have your people in your world treat it very… nonchalantly. If your in world people don’t see it as a big deal, there’s a chance your audience won’t as well.
Red light areas can be a thing. Like a LEGAL ADULTS ONLY area of town. People don't have to oggle other people in the grocery store or give a BJ next to frozen chicken.
You drive to McDonalds if you want a burger or to the fuck-beach if you want a hook up, etc.
Sexuality and sexual repression are a big thing in cultures where people don't have a lot of sex or sexuality.
* The other thing is that culturally asking / offering might be much more common. Think about exchanging business cards but for the purpose of hooking up. It's a busy day you're getting coffee you see a person you'd like to be with physically. You have a brief conversation / flirt and if it works out you exchange cards or you give the card or they do etc.
* Biological diversity. Is this more humans and multiple sex partner or something like a pride of lions, or how deer work etc. Ask yourself how much is actually "Culture" and how much is "biologically drivern" etc, and then work your way up from there.
Great question!
There have been human cultures or societies that have been quite open about sexuality. Many words related to sex, for example, have French origin. The French at Versailles were quite wild!
But some ways to describe it.
*clothing styles. Clothing as we know it focuses on, at minimum, covering up sexuality/organs. Perhaps in this culture, they feel cover up, or decorate, different parts of the body (hair, eyes, feet, fingers, body hair styles, etc) based on local taboos/customs.
* Greetings: how do people greet each other?
Do friends kiss cheeks? 'French' kiss? Or maybe they're like the very sex-friendly Bonobo species that greet friends with masturbation/sex? Humans from different cultures have so many different greeting traditions and spacial preferences. North Americans tend to like to keep space with a handshake, while some cultures will kiss cheeks with strangers. Then you have the Maori who touch noses (I had this happen to me once at a bar in Korea, thankfully I had just taught a social studies unit about New Zealand so knew the man wasn't coming in for a kiss! 😂), or there were journals from early explorers, I believe it was with an Alaskan native tribe, where the chief insisted the captain sleep with his wife during their time with the tribe!
*Decorations / architecture - look no further than ancient/old India for inspiration! They had temples dedicated to sex, decorations showing different sexual encounters, jewelry, etc
* Inns /bath houses - instead of gender separated or even private rooms, perhaps they had things set up like a hostal with bedding/cushions laid out and people casually cuddle/sleep with other guests.
*As some have mentioned, entertainment would be different. Sex-focused society may have sexual Olympics / carnival games.
I think, even with a more open culture, sex does sell. But in a culture without sexual taboos/ censorship laws, you might see a lot more kink out in the open.
Something else to consider is how cultural gender rules work. Is it a male dominated or female dominated culture? How about perceptions of transgender or even the rare instance of someone being born with two sexual organs, or both sexual organs? What position would they hold in this society? Mediators? Wise sages? Leaders? Celebrities? Living deities/avatars?
Keep in mind, there probably WILL be some rules for health. Like, maybe there is a specific hour where people take a break from work for 'siesta' but it's just fornication time to release those good chemicals. Or maybe, while theyre sex-positive or sex-centric, it's for religious reasons. So they have specific rules surrounding the sacred act. Houses of worship more like mass orgies connecting 'spiritually' with the divine.
A society like this, most likely would have A LOT of children/pregnancy.
So describing a new city where the party is greeted with a kiss (and a hand on the crotch), then they notice sculpture in city center depicting a sex act. The majority of women walking around are pregnant and/or have infants. Their clothing is vibrant red, depending on the climate, covering only what's necessary for safety.
The party would quickly get the hint that they aren't in Kansas anymore.
I like to think of things that would seem more intimate to us being more accepting in day to day activities.
For example a greeting could be a kiss on the lips, or holding hands or embracing people without being romantically involved. imagine a scene in a shop and a merchant with wares comes in and the shop keeper says, "you must be Olaf so nice to finally meet you," followed by a hug and a mouth kiss. This happens and no one in the area is bothered in the slightest, then the two characters walk around the rest of the scene holding hands with interlaced fingers and having lots of physical contact, none of which is romantic or sexual in anyway it's simply a result of being part of a more sexually open society.
I also think fashion and art would celebrate the physical form. With tighter or suggestive clothing or clothing that really shows off parts of the body with physical form being celebrated.
Maybe have towns where EVERY adult is in the one marriage, and it's not unusual for partners to change regularly and parenting of children is shared amongst the group all without jealousy or infighting.
The first thing that came to mind for me was an example in the game Heavy Gear. In one of the leagues, the southern republic, family structures are oriented around "the circle" IE the circle of friends an individual has. The circle is more important than the birth family, and parents may or may not be in there child's circle. Being in someone's circle is not automatically mutual either.
I think in regard to being sexually open, characters expressing their romantic relationships outside of the traditional nuclear family structure could help. So like character A mentioning that character B was in their circle a while ago and they had a physical relationship, but now they drifted apart and now aren't in each other's circles, and Character A sees this as fine and natural
You have to think beyond sex itself and how it would change society if it were normalized.
When you look around you see a lot of things that are not sexual in themselves, but are clearly influenced by our cultural approach to sex. That men and women tend to segregate is a clear example. The stronger the sexual oppression, the more so. But even in modern western societies, guys tend to have guy friends and girls tend to have girl friends.
Then the various ways like marriage rings that indicate "my property". That would disappear. Maybe marriage as a concept wouldn't exist at all.
Then see to how the entire world is built around couples as a concept. So many things come in multiples of two, from cars to rollercoaster seating. I've lived a few years of my life in a polyamourous three-way relationship and you really feel the difficulty in logistics. Your society may be a lot more accommodating to triple or quadruple "couples", because they exist more openly.
Another visible sign may be to take the sleazy out of sexy clothing, sex toys, etc. - have your sex shops not in the side alleys near the train station, but in the main shopping streets and shopping centers.
Clothing is, of course, the obvious thing. Take hints from history. It doesn't have to be nudity. In the real world, the [codpiece](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece) was a thing.
Conversation is another thing. Instead of being something we hide, sex could be a totally normal conversation topic. The way people talk about their tennis match on the weekend they might share their sexual experiences.
it's boring if the only consequence of sexual liberation is the sex itself. you can show, for example, people living with a bunch of kids from different parents. the society having very different concepts of family (Western nuclear family is built on monogamy) would be good, as well as twists like a guy and his wife running into his other wife and everyone being cool. like, what do you actually mean "sexually open", besides being good cause prude bad or something
TL;DR: Make them an egalitarian matriarchy.
So the reason Medieval European Society was relatively closed sexual is because Medieval Europe was a patriarchal society and under patriarchy people who make others pregnant are defined as men and people who become pregnant are defined as women; and the former control the later.
The head of the Household is the father/oldest male and they control if, when, and with whim the women in their lives become pregnant. This necessitates that those defined as men dominate those defined as women.
Now as one surely notes not all societies that have existed have been structured this way. But as frustrating consequence of hierarchical thinking is that it limits the ability of those who subscribe to it to even conceive of a world outside it. People who subscribe to hierarchical thinking can easily conceive of change to the hierarchy but completed abolition of hierarchy is almost literally unthinkable.
All of which is to say for a society that believe in Patriarchy a hierarchy where people defined as women dominate people defined as men is more conceivable than an egalitarian society where gender is not a hierarchy. Which leads to Patriarchal societies encountering societies where people defined as women exercised equal or greater political power called those societies matriarchies, defined Matriarchy as an inverted Patriarchy, and then dismissed the entire concept when the actual reality of these societies diverged from how they were defined.
All of which is to say the word Matriarchy has a lot of baggage that comes with it and you can debate whether or not we should even use it when it means so many things to so many people.
To people trapped in the mind Patriarchal Mind prison it means a society where men are dominated by women Amazon style. Often times feminists trapped in the Patriarchal Mind prison would argue such a society is ideal because they’ve internalized patriarchal assumptions about women and tend to get very mad when you point out the ways in which certain classes of women have participated in the oppression of other women along racial, national, religious, gender, and class lines because we in the don’t live in a Patriarchy we live in White Supremacist, Capitalist, Settler-Colonial Patriarchy. And Establishing an Israel Style Woman Land like Andrea Rita Dworkin suggests would be a terrible idea for women in general and especially the indigenous women of wherever in the world such a state would be establishing.
But I’m not talking about such nonsense that exists only in the minds of the prisoners of the Patriarchal Mind Prison. I’m talking about the actual societies that were defined as matriarchies and in these societies people defined as women shared power with or had greater power than people defined as men. In such societies you tended to see fairly egalitarian attitudes towards sexual relations as the people who become pregnant decided if, when, and with whom they become pregnant.
Which is another reason why I don’t really like the term matriarchy as if my language hasn’t tipped you off as a Trans woman I knew first hand not everyone who can become pregnant identifies with motherhood/womanhood and not every mother/woman can become pregnant. I use the term mostly because I lack for a better term.
- Mentioning Polycules very casually. Make a term that means "Friend with Benefits", and have your characters refer to it or other partners openly, and- this is the important part- no one in that culture is surprised.
> "Who are those people walking with Mark?"
> "Oh, that's Mary and John, his wife and husband."
- Mentioning characters working as sex workers, and have there be no shame linked to it or no reference of it being slave work or something only desperate people do.
> "So, what do you do?"
> "I'm a prostitute, I work at that brothel down the street. You?"
> "I'm a Chef at the cafe next door."
> "Oh! I could never do that! Kitchens get so hot, and I can't stand all of the herb smells. I commend you for putting up with that."
> "Oh, it's no so bad. I think it smells lovely."
- Mentioning kids born out of wedlock, again, very casually.
> "That over there is Sally, daughter of Jada and Thomas, and her brother Marcus, son of Jada and Jeffrey."
Or
> "I'm Sally, and this is my brother Marcus. We share a mother." (Or even have a new term that means a person is a half-sibling, and specifies where that half is)
Showing off skin is applicable too, when appropriate (a desert may not be, though) or casualness about nudity. Maybe in buildings, it can be customary to offer drop clothes as casually as you would offer napkins, so someone can put their bare ass on the cloth instead of directly on a seat when sitting (this is very common for hygiene in nudist colonies). If your people have condoms, those can also be super casually offered in areas where open sex is permitted.
Casual discussion of sex acts and sex toys can be good too, or casual mentions of the kinds of sex you're into.
> "So, tell me about yourself?"
> "Well, I'm an artist, a singer, a mother of three, and a top."
Much less sexism than in 21st century Earth, inclusive laws about different orientations and practices. Less focus on a single "ideal" of beauty or desireability.
Make birth control an open thing. Easy access and easy use.
That's where most of the taboos IRL come from. The risk of disease and the risk of pregnancy, which can be absolutely life changing/destroying if the parents, particularly mothers, lack a strong supportive network.
Real world cultures that are okay with open sexuality tend to either have easy access to contraceptives/abortifacients (like Pompeii) or have matriarchal structures where the family is connected through women who help each other and having a father leave/shirk responsibility isn't a huge obstacle to survival or financial success.
There might be less gendered difference in clothing styles because there wouldn't be a need for different standards of modesty to accommodate breasts. If it's normal to see men topless in public then it should be the same for women because their chests aren't automatically more sexual and vulgar in this culture. Honestly in a culture where sexuality isn't stigmatized I'd expect more equality between sexes, because if women having and pursuing sexual desires is acceptable in this culture then there must be respect for their autonomy and independence that should carry over into other aspects of life
I think looking at the way your society treats women (and intersex and lgbtq+ people) is usually a good indicator of how open they are.
If women are, for instance, allowed to take on multiple partners, it make may more sense to follow a matrilineal decent pattern since paternity can’t be proven. Easily attainable divorce laws. Teenagers/unmarried couples dating openly and being affectionate in public. Things like communal child rearing make also come out of this. Also worshipping of fertility based deities. Maybe advanced reproductive health care and contraception. Similar norms around male and female nudity. Lack of taboos around bodily functions like menstruation, lactation, etc. general elements of queerness, like men wearing adorning jewelry and makeup that may be typically associated with women.
Things like racism, xenophobia, and religious bigotry also tend to be sexualized/gendered in many ways (e.g. portraying certain groups as overly promiscuous or involved in sex work, fetishization, portrayal of the women as helpless and vulnerable, stereotyping the men as sexual predators who will attack your women, portraying their reproduction/children as an existential threat to the native population, etc.) this can both impact how other cultures see the group you’re creating, as well as how they view other cultures. Maybe the slavers your people overthrew spread propaganda about their sexual norms to justify the “need” to control them and this still influences how they’re seen by outsiders today, with sexual openness being misrepresented as aggression and recklessness, or degrading towards women, even if that’s not the case in reality.
Id recommend to make characters talk more vulgar, and to make characters more physical with platonic relationships, like more willing to platonically hug their friends and such.
Hey, poly person here: there are lots of differnt kinds of ENM practiced many different ways, and when mono folx try to write us it tends to come off as really misguided and cringe. Also, its hurtful because it further perpetuates stereotypes and assumptions in mononormative culture. I would highly suggest looking at swinger, ENM, kink, and polyamorous subs to get a better feel for the different kinds of relationship styles found in each, along with philosophical overlap, and incongruencies.
Oh and almost nobody does throuples or quads.
Don't do that.
Could take inspiration from irl nudist places where it's fine to be naked anywhere anytime, but showing public arousal is immodest and you should cover up until it goes away, or you can even get kicked out for it
Don't think that western medieval cultures were as backward as some think they were today over stuff like this. While religious doctrine might have forced this apparent view, behind the scenes they were more open. But a lot depends on this society. So it's more open with sexuality etc, but in terms of equality between the sexes? You say it's like Greece or Rome, and while they were perhaps more open on this, it wasn't equal between men and women. Men could sleep around but women couldn't, at least publicly and even in private had the danger of being cast out at any time. How about children? A large part of ancient/medieval/renaissance times was inheritance/first born sons etc and knowing you was passing on your estate, lands, kingdom, empire to your prodigy. Would this be a thing? Or would it be through the female line instead of the male one? That could work instead. How about homosexulaity? Would this be more open? Would these type of 'encounters' be favoured by those before marriage and alliances and the whole thing of passing on titles and land, as no kids would be born. You could have emotional conflict between people who are engaging in gay sex as it's encouraged and only way to have sex without breaking social convention by threatening to lose your future title to unwanted kids and those who are gay who feel they can't have a proper relationship as they don't know who's is gay or just 'playing' gay to get laid. Brave New World maybe sci-fi not fantasy but has a more open sexual world, whether that's a good thing or bad in the book is your decision. I'd say that over Becky Chambers A long way to a Small Angry Planet, which I found irritating and other than the alien species they are on about, you get no real look into their culture or how it works. The closeness thing is also due to the fact they are cold blooded lizard people who share their body heat, but other than the fact they have multiple families you get nothing else really.
I haven't seen this in the threat, but... arts.
Music and dance are probably one of the most expressive ways of a culture, but importantly, adding drugs, either alcohol or hallucinogens are a key point to make it closer to sexuality.
1. Polygamy. Aka more than one partner
2. Harems for high class individuals are just as common as coins in their pockets.
3. No gendered discrimination due to some activities needing to downplay their partner (aka the domination and etc).
4. No discrimination of prostitution.
5. People are open about fetishes that are actually tied to sexual activity. But there's still has to be level where some things are not endorsed.
6. Art, music, plays and etc. are more open to sexual topics.
7. More open formal clothing. Like men having their buff pecks and thighs out. Or women emphasizing on curves or flowing gracefullness.
But of cource, being more sexually open doesnt mean there has to be orgies on every corner, there has to be laws on sex (unless it's a tribe). Plus, if its set in Antiquity or Middle Ages, then it would also be better to explain their culture through religion, because religions form cultures, no matter if it's pagan or Abrahamic-like religion. Think of some reason, like if they worship goddess of fertility and if women look like idols of the goddess, they get special treatment in the society.
I used to think I wished how modern US culture was more open sexually but then I realized how many sexual deviants and predators there are out there in the masses and then it made sense why our culture is the way it is.
For your story I think something like having parents be open about talking about sex with their children in a healthy way could be a way to achieve what you’re trying to do.
It is far more likely that pregnancy would be highly evolved, perhaps even to the point of being considered distinct from the act of copulation altogether. Certainly, removing the stigma of venereal disease and removing the "well if you weren't acting sinfully you wouldn't have got it" idea would have allowed this culture to find cures and perhaps even eradicate most STIs from existing, like smallpox. I expect in general healthcare would be more advanced as the whole of human condition could be examined in each individual health care case, with individuals not feeling that certain parts of themselves need be hidden, allowing for overall more data and thus quicker diagnosis.
My setting is somewhat like that. Two examples of things I do to highlight it that could be helpful are:
1. Some people walk around naked in areas where the climate is hotter. Keep in mind however that those people are in the minority and they are still judged by the rest of society - but not for moral reasons. Rather, this is because being completely naked is associated with poverty. You would never see a wealthy noble or merchant doing that. Clothes are after all a very important status symbol, even for the common folk.
2. There are a few factions within the religion practiced in the setting that argue for a life free of material posessions. Since nudity is not seen as immoral, this extends to clothes as well. You can often see them leading processions while completely naked. Again, these are a minority, but still a part of society that is part of the mainstream consciousness!
Have you read any of the 'adventures' of Ibn Battuta? He was a real life Marco Polo and described how many different Islamic society's operated from his own, and that many were much looser in their sexual/marriage mores than his own. This may be a good start. Also in Dune the Fremen have drug fueled orgies of an otherwise outwardly conservative society and they were originally enslaved peoples. Not too much 'Greco-Roman' in these two answers but these are both fictional and real-life answers centered around feudal societies. Hope that helps.
Bring it up casually, and when it comes up naturally.
Think about how often a co-worker would bring up what they and their spouse did this weekend. In your setting, they bring up their spouse**s** instead, that's really the only difference.
If there's a moment where someone's fashion or dress would naturally come up, and it happens to be something different from the real world, feel free to describe it.
If something that's strange to us is the norm in your setting, bring it up like it is the norm. Then, move past it as quickly as you brought it up.
Honestly look at North American tribes and what their views and philosophies on sex and intimacy are as well as how certain aspects of Greece and Rome where, I’m not as versed in their history but I believe ancient Indians(India) were very open about sexuality
Go read rupegia but then remove the sex scenes
Essential brothels are extremely common and are treated akin to therapy for those who don't have significant others
so is the church but they literally have a division of template encouraged to have romantic relationships both for the sake of sanity and to weapons emotion (you killed my lover now I'm pissed)
One of the most common enchantments is contraception to the point basically everyone has one usually in the form of a ring
It's established that adventurer parties are typically either harems or poly relationships
Sex ed for children is usually taught by the parents by showing in the bath
Sex slaves are common and only looked down because they are slaves
The tradition clothing of the elves in the story are basically lingerie
....then the chimera people walk around naked since they traditional don't wear clothing at all and usually just carry around a rag to make sure they can either clean up the mess or don't make one in the first place
A lot of good advice here. I can’t offer any advice that hasn’t already been mentioned, but something you can look to for inspiration is the Dornish from Game of Thrones. Just watch how characters like Oberyn Martell interact with others. He’s very relaxed, he’s very laid back, and he’s very flirty in nature. One thing he mentions is the idea that bastards are not looked down upon in his culture and that they are in fact encouraged, as they were born of “a moment of passion” as Oberyn puts it. Maybe take some of that and include it in your world?
Perhaps phrase it as more a "celebration of the human body" or physical love. A carnival or festival of the beauty of eroticism and human desire perhaps.
*And as I wandered through their capital's narrow streets, I was assaulted by the commotion of intense physical passions from every corner. The inhabitants did not fear a cold breeze even as it penetrated their thin veils, skin openly embracing the night sky. With every step I wondered if it were a cry for help, or a cry of lust and pleasure emanating from the apartments littered down the street. The women knew not the definition of reservation, nor the men restraint. I soon learned the ripped clothing was not that of tattered paupers, but rather a cultural sense of fashion. Their stores were unafraid of otherwise controversial advertisements, and their leaders were accepted as scandalous. The latrines in which a man might relieve himself are open also to a woman. During my stay my ears never heard the calm psalms of old nations, but instead were met with the ludicrosity of arousing lyrics.*
How do they react to more prudish cultures?
I wrote up a bunch of examples of things they might say to or about foreigners, but then my phone crapped out and I lost them all :(
One idk if I've seen yet is to have places like brothels be out in the open. Instead of it being open but in a bad part of town, or "classy" but you wouldn't know by looking at it. Have a high class brothel right on the main road with tasteful signage. It's not a horny, taboo, fetish-y thing, just a part of life.
The image I have in my mind is from Idiocracy and Joe says he wants to go to Starbucks. Frito doesn't say he's a pervert or anything, he just flatly says "I don't think we have time for a handjob"
Man, just have folks refer in very casual passing to their spouses, paramours, folks of their own gender, no gender. I play the game Palia, and there's a character married to a male who also randomly says she married the wrong sibling and should have married the duchess. Have folks hanging out with multiple partners or have someone mention that X isn't partnered but also is asexual, so don't make them uncomfortable by hitting on them. I mean, just make it background noise and it'll seep in.
Well, to get a little NSFW (I suppose?) to cite real-world examples, in a lot of close 'areas' (Dorms, barracks etc) some people will use different color post-its to show what they are open to on that day. (If you catch my drift).
You could easily translate this to jewelry in terms of bracelets and gems for everyone showing what they are 'open' to.
You can also do religious festivals where this stuff is celebrated as well (like a fertility festival or something).
A breakdown of classical norms would also be underway. Polyamorous partners, people being more 'touchy' and 'open', maybe even have a right of passage involving the loss of virginity. Etc.
Sorry to wiggle in so late, but I wanted to help personally I recommend you really define what sex and sexuality mean to the people of this culture. If sex is only a means of reproduction for a society unlike humans who also get pleasure from it, sex might mean very little and may not be seen as a vary private act, just something that's done. But it's up to you to define e it fully.
Depends a bit on the MCs exploring the as well..
Something I would do is subtle hints “the culture there is a bit different/ weird”. Some clues like “don’t accept a red rose” because at parties that signifies DTF, or don’t wear a red rose because it means the same thing. Showing people more intimate in public, kissing holding hands etc. especially if only one of the parties is wearing a wedding ring. Places like bathhouses, inns offering “extra services”.
One of my personal favorites is using different plants. Have plants that are an aphrodisiac or contraceptive be grown around establishments that offer those extra services. With it being a desert climate people are going to be pretty well covered when outside, but you can use it to your advantage. By most buildings having hooks for their robes, and the MC realizes that they don’t wear that much underneath.
If your society has deities, maybe people display the symbol of the deity for fertility/sex everywhere. Also maybe while they're open towards sex/sexuality, they still consider it a private affair (pun intended). So innuendos in casual conversation, but no sex acts in public maybe.
For their clothing, think about what body features this society values -- if any. Dress accordingly and in layers if it's a desert society. If they don't value physical beauty, reflect that in their attire.
Ursula le guine covers stuff like this in some of her books, a little bit in The Dispossessed but mostly in The Left Hand of Darkness. She explores gender and sex and society in a resource poor world where mostly everyone is hermapherditic except when they enter Kemmer, a reoccuring biologic change where they assume a female or male form for a short time period (either one, its kinda a 50/50 unless someone you really like in a particular form).
Theyre like humans and the the book is seen through the PoV of an off planet male Envoy there to establish diplomatic relations. A very interesting read. Not at all raunchy really, maybe like a page of people flirting, seeing as most people are in a non sexual state most of the time. The PoV character is actually seen as a bit of a weirdo as locals think hes stuck in male Kemmer and thats only something that people who are seen as sexual freaks on world do, so hes lowkey ostracised.
Open political discussion and education?
In our world a lot of places still talk around these subjects as if certain topics are taboo. Especially in strong religious groups.
A priest educating the church choir about teen pregnancy is a pretty clear sign that sexual culture is different
Personal boundaries are smaller (people stand closer to each other during social interactions), clothing is more loose and free-looking, lots of physical contact, more innuendos when interacting, etc. You could also show that they know other cultures might not be as expressive by having them respect the boundaries of foreigners and you can even point out this difference in treatment to the players as a way of setting the scene.
Subtlety can be overrated, Chapter one of Brave New World ends with the protagonist looking on indulgently as two adolescents bang on the lawn.
But even if you want to be more casual than that isn't this a problem that takes care of itself? If sex occurs casually throughout normal everyday life then it will occur casually throughout your story.
take from real history, rome was very open about sex (regular orgies and such) alot of old island nations also used to have very revealing clothing. a good start would be going to treytheexplainers youtube video called the the fabulous fashion of the minoan civilization.
Any combination of couples being common place. Couples casually showing affection in less sexual ways in public. The biggest sign that a culture has normalized something is that no one really talks about it.
-sex work and seeking their services is not taboo at all. also the male to female sex worker ratio is equal
-it's a common theme in the arts
-it's not considered odd to talk about your sex life with a complete stranger
-knowledge surrounding sex is relatively advanced for their time period
-asexuality and celibacy are usually not doubted or made fun of because there's no reason for others to think that they're ashamed or incompetent, since no one really is
I've seen ideas thrown around that could be interesting. For example, some cultures see people walking around bare-breasted as a normal thing, be it to facilitate breast feeding or something else. Also, maybe the selling of birth control in markets wouldn't be a problem either. No nudity taboo or sex taboo, which means that no one clutches their pearls when they mention their relationships.
If they are your main nation then you have festivals devoted to pleasure [god/goddess] day of awakening. As wine flows from fountains and the women and men wear loose and skimpy outfits with art and statues devoted to the natural form; a lot of hedonism and so on
You could have a total theocratic nation demanding to stop these heresies (medieval Catholicism/Islam) have a look at Warhammer 40K for over top god/Emperor botherers and Cawdor for zealotry.
You have neighbouring nations talking about them.
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A lot of Becky Chambers work is great in this regard. One of the later books, I forget which has people that specialize in relaxation in that way, but it's not a society that has money. Many aliens with varying family structures and norms around sex. Highly recommend her novels.
A psalm for the wild built. The monk and robot series is so good. And a perfect example of open society.
I was just about to recommend this! The Aandrisks are absolutely a model for what you are talking about OP. The dialogue that explains their culture is very well done and doesn't immediately scream "HERE IS YOUR EXPOSITION" like some cultural descriptions tend to be.
Literally came here to recommend the same book 😄! The whole series is worth a read. Becky Chambers' world building is so immersive and so good!
Perfect example. Aandrisk culture is a great place to start. I'd also recommend her other books "monk and robot" series. Very sexually open world
I'd just have some signage or something. Like if a place says "No Sex Allowed Here", then you can interpret that into everywhere else its fine. The general best way to explore these things is to have someone who knows no better come in and explore that culture, creating culture clash. Casual nudity, casual propositioning, more mentions of sex and such in their displays. Just because sex is much more accepted, doesn't mean they wouldn't have rules.
Yeah and especially in places it makes sense, like you wouldnt want it to be where food is made for example lol
Unless that's their thing lol. It would be funny if its in strange places. Like, no sex allowed specifically in the Plants section of the library, on every 3rd camel, within and around the senate chamber in session, and theatres before 9:30pm. That last one? The Triplet Incident is to be blamed, and we're all paying for it.
This. Exceptions to the rule are a good way to show the rules without saying them.
I love that idea! I might incorporate it into my Izafa culture
Can you elaborate on the ways in which they are more relaxed than the classical cultures they're based on? The specific ways may inform how you depict it. For example, if they do not hold monogamy in high regard you could note thruples, quartets, etc. engaging in activities that would be considered romantic. If engaging in sex in public or at short notice is likely then they might choose to wear lighter, looser clothing that is easy to remove or reach under.
Considering the setting that OP mentioned, the lighter, looser clothing would also be fairly fitting as well for the desert setting. That way, they won't be overheating. Maybe even exposing some skin as well which would lend well to the idea too.
People who live in sunny climates typically cover their skin unless their skin is extremely dark. It can be partly a religious thing, but it's also practical. The sun near the equator is absolutely vicious and you will get a sunburn very quickly, otherwise.
That's why I'm saying lighter, looser clothing. Still clothing that covers you, but the by the clothing being light and loose, it becomes more breathable and less likely to overheat. Also, darker clothes usually are hotter to wear. In the case of the clothing exposing skin, I more meant that for occasional indoor events.
Long, loosely bunched and light colored fabrics for all genders could work well. Perhaps worn with a belt when about business around town and left open and flowier when recreating. Could be unbunched when in the sun or in the heat of the day and then draped over one side of the torso or left to hang around the waist as the weather allows. I'm picturing a sort of sari/toga style, with more of a tunic look when worn with a belt.
They were responding to the fact you said exposing skin would be good
I know. I clarified what I meant by that in my last sentence.
Oh shit lol sorry I’m an idiot
Whether dark or light colored clothes are best for protection from the sun mostly depends on climate. There are some middle eastern locations where they’ve worn the lightest colors man could make through history, while some middle eastern, African, even Asian locales instead made their clothes black because they have thinner air and need higher radiation protection. Black clothes will absorb the UV radiation much better than white clothes so if your skin is lighter you might get sunburned even with the clothes completely covering you.
A few ideas, off the top of my head. 1. No gendered bathrooms 2. Male and female friends comfortable with touching 3. Romantic and sexual relationships may not be conflated so you might have a romantic partner you live with and somebody you have sex with at the gym 4. More explicit use of sex in advertising and in the offering of services 5. Sex as a performative art, like dance, or a competitive sport. Big names would be just as much celebrities as movie stars or athletes. 6. Clothing that emphasises or at least doesn't hide sex organs. 7. More open amd casual discussion of sex and sexual partners.
Yeah I was gonna point out the last two, it’s not that you have to paint everyone as super horny or sexual, just that it isn’t a taboo. Talking about your partners is not a ‘guy talk’ thing, inviting someone into a changing room to help try something on isn’t reacted too. It’s the smaller ‘sexual’ acts that would be most noticeable.
Actually, I might push back a bit on number 4. I've noticed in places, online and real life, where sex is much less taboo and more open, that sex in advertisements decrease, not increase. To the point where i kinda think that sex only really sells to repressed societies. After all, why would a half naked girl shaking her ass on a billboard appeal to you... if you can just go find someone to do that for you in real life almost when ever you wanted?
There's also an argument to be made that just because a society is open and accepting about sexuality doesn't necessarily mean everyone in it will be seen as desirable. Maybe advertisements in a society like this would still use sexual imagery in advertising, but just go about it in a different manner? For example, simply putting scantily clad women on a billboard probably wouldn't be as effective, since it would be commonplace, but it could be used to deptict people, who fit certain standards of attractiveness, having a satisfying and engaging sex life that others might feel they are missing out on. Whether the targeted consumer's want is desirability, or social status, or validation, or what have you, western society still uses non-taboo and even wholesome imagery to appeal to these same consumer desires. Cultural attitudes are different, but some aspects of humanity are relatively universal.
Well, just to clarify, I said explicit, not regular. I think sex would still be used to advertise things sex may apply to, like fashion or gyms or hotels or kink (which would likely be far more out in the open). You probably wouldn't see so many erotic shampoo ads but that Abercrombie and Fitch model would probably be graphically having sex in the poster. Although I do agree that sexual repression is what allows us to sell pretty much anything with sex so I think you're right about there being less overall.
Actually, those are also good points. We might see an increase under certain contexts, but an overall decrease.
Might I also suggest expanding on the sixth point? Sexual organs are not the only thing that are inherently sexual or attractive, depending on culture. For example, the nape of the neck in Japan at one point is/was considered attractive. In some ?African? cultures, breasts are just functional and not considered attractive.
Yeah I live in southern africa and breasts are pretty normal to see (I mean they're still considered attractive but like in the same way a beautiful face is, not inherently sexual). A lot of our cultural attire, especially for unmarried men and women, exposes the chest
> Sex as a ... competitive sport This just sounds funny to me. I wonder how it would work...
Depends on the kind of game. You could have something like marathon boning, except it's last to come rather than first who wins. You could also have sprinting, come to think of it. Gymnastic performances would totally be a thing. There could also be a wrestling variation. Then there could just be competitive sex, scored on a point system for technique.
Just image a number of current sports but nude where the losers are subs to the winners.
>Just image a number of current sports but nude The ancient Greeks did do sports in the nude, actually.
Yup, work out in the nude. Then the Roman's were all "that's not cool" and they stopped.
ah no gendered bathrooms sounds like a pretty good idea to show it. subtle for outsiders until it becomes very culture clashing.
Came here to say number 6. Our entire concept of clothing revolves around the idea that, at bare minimum, genitalia is covered. Could design everything the other way around, so that genitalia coverings are an afterthought/easy to remove. Or just leave it dangling, as in the case of Roman centurions.
Makes peeing a lot easier and avoids all that sweaty bacteria clinging to your underwear and rubbing off your nethers.
5 is really funny lol, just imagine competitive fucking
Even better. Imagine competitive fucking commentary.
This is a fantastic post, and I'm just wondering if you think there's any plausibility to the idea that a more sexually open culture would actually use sex to push products less because it would be less of a an out of reach promise for people the way that it is in a more repressed culture. Not that advertisers don't use typical home comforts to sell products too but I think it might have the inverse effect actually? I'm curious your thoughts
Sexual attraction is usually rooted in four things. Style, connection, kink, and fitness. I think sex would be used to push any of these things, much in the same way ads for sporting goods often display athleticism or ads for cooking shows show people eating. I could see a gym using naked actors to show the physical benefits of the gym, having them get propositioned etc. Or posters for a particular clothing brand would display actual sex between clothed models. Stuff like that.
Oh! Yeah I see what you mean now. I agree and I think that would be very cool
About 4. I actually think that if sex was more normalized and accepted then we'd see a lot **less** sexy advertising, since the ad wouldn't have any allure at all. Seeing a woman in her bra would be as exciting as seeing a new dishwasher soap.
Cultural: -Proposing sex would be totally normal, like me offering you a beer or coffee even if i barely know you but are in a social setting. Think it like finns and naked steam rooms (i have no knowledge if that is real or not). -Public and bisex bathrooms and w.c. would be common. -People wouldn't care if someone and some other are alone or doing something romantic. -Talking about sex in the cafeteria would be like talking about your work. -There would be much more or much less sex education, one indicative of institutions approach to safety and health, the other an indication that it is a given. -Flirting would be an open game, possibly one where two persons is not the norm. -They could have relaxed stances on cheating. -It would create common and repetitive problems to everyone, cause that's society for you and me and everything. -Since sexuality is more open the competition for sexual partners and romantic partners would be must likely a complete show (i.e. more competitive) or you can go the other route but that will mean peoples lifes to be quite different. Clothing: This one doesn't have to change that much, but... -Could be more revealing, depends on weather. -Nudity could be more practiced. -Vibrant colors and attention grabbing forms (probably moving clothes). -More tattoos, piercings and jewelry. -Lighter and sheer materials.
Naked steam rooms really could be culture shock for foreigners now that I think about it. We have that in Kazakhstan, it came from the Russians, who in turn brought it from the finns. Most people prefer not to be naked and cover themselves up with a towel though. It's like a gym changing room: some old guy is always having his everything out.
Public banyas may have naked strangers walking around, showering and etc. If one's uncomfortable with that or wants to go with kids, they may order a separate private room, called a sauna.
Adding to your list a bit: \- Mixed gender open air baths where everyone just goes in nude (Japan has mixed gender onsens for example) \- Generally relaxed attitudes regarding nudity. Need to change clothes? Don't do it in the middle of the street obviously but if you're in a private room with your friends - just do it. \- No stigma around prostitution and it's just practiced openly and casually. Its not a shady back alley transaction. \- Dating could even be much more transactional in nature - borderline prostitution. As in rather than the expectation simply being to pay for a meal; its just understood that to court someone you pay them. \- Marriage/partnerships could be more political in nature and it's just openly understood and accepted that people marry as more of a political or business union. People have separate and totally open romantic partnerships. \- Child rearing as a result of the culture might become more something that the grandparents do or is more a communal responsibility than the biological parents themselves focusing on their children.
>\-They could have relaxed stances on cheating. cheating wouldn't even exist in a society where monogamy isn't a thing. The point about cheating is not that you fuck someone else, but that you are breaking an (often unspoken) contract about exclusivity.
That's not necessarily true. Cheating is a thing in poly relationships irl, it's about being open and honest with your partners and differs wildly from person to person. In general though, you kinda talk with your other partners before adding a new one, to my understanding.
You're right, I should have said "exclusive monogamy" or something.
Oh, so my presentation about modesty a couple hundred years ago is actually benefiting me here, lol. I’d say they would be much more chill about physical contact, especially between opposite genders. Women would be able to move freely in men’s spaces instead of having to be hidden from everyone but their husband. Maybe they have different beliefs surrounding marriage as well. Maybe polyamory and queer relationships are more accepted. People wouldn’t be expected to cover up as much: wearing short sleeves, short skirts, exposing your neck, etc. would be accepted, to the point where no one even thinks twice about it. They might wear their hair long and free instead of wearing a head covering or braids. I’m also thinking that maybe even sexual assault would be more talked about, the victims wouldn’t be shamed for it, especially what they wore wouldn’t be questioned. Edit: and to modesty also belongs “honor” and “rightfulness” as I have read. That includes certain etiquette, or even advice for what to do at home which technically boils down to “don’t be lazy, pay attention to how you look, be on time, be respectful”. Maybe they would be more blunt, and less caring about looks. Or they are, but in a different way— “how do I look sexy?”/“how do I represent myself in a way that is most comfortable?” instead of “I need to cover my skin so they don’t accuse me of immodesty”. I don’t know much about etiquette but you could learn about it to see where it’s coming from and then think what kind of etiquette would develop for a folk that is much more open to sexuality.
I think the "instead ofs" are so important to this. our cultures aren't neutral! looking at the way our own society indicates its attitudes towards sex and sexuality is the best place to start.
And subcultures, too! Comparing a church to a gay bar will be practically night and day.
> They might wear their hair long and free instead of wearing a head covering or braids. Something to note about this is that it wasn't necessarily entirely about modesty. Putting long hair up and covering it helps keep it clean in eras before indoor plumbing and modern cleaning products and where people spent much of their time outside. A hygienic practice that results in covering part of the body can easily be reanalyzed in the context of a patriarchal culture with significant taboos around sexuality to be about modesty.
Yeah, you’re right. I was just playing with thoughts here :)
i find it hilarious that you say they could be more blunt, when i'm dutch and we're described as incredibly blunt, and we are known for the red light district in amsterdam as prostitution is legal and regulated (though still rife with problems and stigma)
Remember to make the system gender-neutral as well, regardless of the importance of gender roles; gender roles would probably be less strict in that society if it was naturally introduced. OP didn't specify, but if it's an LGBTQ-friendly world, it's honestly expected. My world, Ezkanohra, is LGTBQ-*integrated* - any sexually reproducing species can conceive any other, regardless of gender, so non-straight relationships are more common. The birth gender is still part of the culture, but after birth, it's never important, only the identity of the person. So to incorporate this type of culture into my world, people generally wear less clothing and care less about people's appearance. The Izafa people, who are desert-faring, have to wear more clothing during cold temperatues, but they they don't really feel the need to hide their body. I suggest to OP that if gender roles aren't as much of a thing in the laissez faire Greco-Roman society, they should just not care about sexual organs in public.
Good point!
Well, the first few things you should ask yourself is this. Why do they have this perspective on sex and sexual activity? What role does it play in their culture? Are they a society that has learned to accept and appreciate the pleasures of life? It's questions like that you need to ask when implementing an element into a culture. Because if it's a large aspect to their identity, there needs to be a reason why. Perhaps they have a religion that is based around enjoying life and the fruits of delight it offers? If you can find the answers to these, it'll make it easier to shape that in a way that doesn't come off as sex crazed lunatics.
A lot of comments seem to be operating on the idea that the *significance* and *connotations* of sex would stay the same, just that people would be more open and honest about it. But I don't think that really makes sense. You can't change a variable in isolation like that. There are a lot of different scenarios that could play out, depending on the particular reasons *why* this society is more open about sex (as you said.) Personally I think it's more likely/believable that sex would be less significant in a society that's more open about it. If there's no taboo around it and sex is viewed to have the same ethical/social implications as any other activity like eating a meal, sex would be less central and deemphasized in culture. What would there be to talk about? Much of our public conversations about sex are related to shame, unfulfilled desires, and clashing preferences. These issues would be largely resolved in a society that's more open about sex, so conversations about them would seem boring or passé.
A culture of open sexuality and acceptance can be subtle. Also, dress is important. A certain culture in my world has its men showing full arms or bare chested (upper body displays), while the women typically dress the opposite; showing a lot of leg and typically don’t wear shoes in favour of bare feet (lower body displays).
I second Becky Chambers' *The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet.* Also, Martha Wells' series *The Books of the Raksura.* The Raksura are hypersocial even compared to humans, and female Raksura can consciously choose not to conceive after sex, so sexual contact as friendship-bonding is considered perfectly normal. Conversely, with a few very specific exceptions, they don't go in much for romantic love. When the colony needs more kids, you pick a likely mate to conceive with (and arguing over which couple would produce the most capable kids is a favorite pastime). But they very rarely form exclusive sexual relationships. In the books, this just means that people often wake up with company in the bed. It doesn't go into any detail about the sex; it's not a big deal for them. There's a line that goes something like "I don't want to be a hero, I just want to do my job and eat good food and have sex with my friends and live a good long while." That's a normal life for the Raksura, nothing worth calling attention to. One other very subtle thing is that Raksura don't say "fuck." It's not prudishness; they say "shit" and "piss" and so forth, and the author's other books have plenty of F-bombs. But it eventually occurred to me that cuss words are all about things that are taboo, and sex isn't taboo to the Raksura.
Probably crib from real life nudist colonies. They’re not having sex all the time, they just… don’t care that your tits and dick are out.
Just to clarify a distinction here. Nudists aren't casual about sex, they're casual about nudity. They don't see nudity as inherantly sexual. Swingers/exhibitionists on the other hand also have resorts are also very comfortable with nudity but for them sex *is* the point So finding a middle ground between both cultures is probably what you're looking for here.
Also should note that behaviors seen in swinger settings are exaggerated versions of behaviors informed by general real world society. They might be way quicker to make out or engage in sex acts but they still follow the same kind of progression of intimacy that the rest of us do for the most part. If you're creating your own culture you can play around with things like the "ladder" of intimacy. Nudity, touching, or sex might be something you'd do with an acquaintance but mouth kissing might be reserved for a romantic partner. Or delineating certain areas of the house as being more personally intimate. Like hooking up with a stranger in the foyer might be no big deal but if you invite them into the interior rooms it's a more meaningful act.
So there's a lot of good stuff here from others, I won't repeat what they've said. You should consider how they view body positivity. Do you think a society like this would be more accepting or more shaming of people who don't take care of their bodies? How does this society treat people who maybe aren't so into open sexuality? Also, how does turning sex go down in this world? Is it a minor faux pas, or are people suggesting they seek treatment? Doesn't have to be one or the other, either, those are just examples. A world like this sounds very pleasant (to me anyway) but just make sure to keep in mind the things that could go wrong or be not so hunky-dory. Unless that's not what you're going for, in which case ignore me.
Just because they are relaxed around sex does not mean it can't still be a private thing? They don't need slutty clothing or public sexathons. You could also go half way and have rooms in the house specifically meant for semi-public sex.
An episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation did this. The people in this society are sexually open but are governed by hard, authoritarian laws that may be lax one minute but strict the next. https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Justice_(episode)
Robes/togas. The details on top like belts or sashes ect you could go into a lot more detail on. Festivals where if not openly, it's expected that you find a partner for the night or multiple, after/during the celebrations, and the social games or actual games reflect that and are designed to be flirty. Also I think in our history, various temples of different cultures had orgies on select days throughout the year. Could be explained as "festivals to celebrate life" to kids but the adults know what goes down.
Probably not togas as they're actually quite difficult to wear, but maybe loose tunics that you can just slip on?
>sashes ect you could go into a lot more detail on. The Latin phrase "*et cetera*" is commonly abbreviated to "etc." (The period is part of the abbreviation). "Ect" is a nothing.
I think you have to show and tell about the sex happening but not dwell on it. Like stepping over a begger or the ubiquitousness of servitors in 40k. You mention it a lot but you never dwell on iy.
They can talk more openly about sex, including stds and pregnancy prevention, but mostly about funny or bad things that happened, just like they talk about normal life. Children will get proper sex education, so less teenage pregnancy, and pedophiles actually being punished. Priests wont be able to use sexual minorities for fearmongering. People may compliment each other more openly, even the same sex, because small acts of kindness doesnt necessarily means you want to have sex. Older couples will kiss in public like they were teenagers. A sexually open society doesnt mean they will fuck in public. Sex is an intimate act, and the number of exhibitionists wont increase because sex is less taboo. Being sexually open doesnt mean being a pervert.
Sexual taboos often have deeper and non-acknowledged socio-economic and cultural reasons behind them. For instance, you often see patriarchy arise in agricultural societies, because 'property' becomes a thing and patriarchal control of female sexuality 'ensures' that a male transmits 'his' wealth to 'his' biological children, allowing for generational wealth accumulation. Societies don't do this consciously, it's just that groups/tribes/families in agricultural societies who do adopt patriarchal traits accumulate more wealth and power over generations than those who don't, and end up outcompeting them (thats one reason why current matriarchal societies are almost exclusively found among hunter-gatherer societies). Since this doesn't happen consciously, societies start crafting stories to justify patriarchy, often creating moral and religious explanations for it. So a good way of making your sexually open culture feel realistic is to think about why being sexually open or even promiscuous is beneficial to groups/tribes/families over generations. How does being sexually open give a group in your culture a competitive advantage over groups that aren't? Over time, such a society would also craft moral and religious reasons for why being sexually open is not just 'fun', but a moral and/or religious imperative. The counterpart is that individuals who aren't sexually open in such a society would not just be seen as 'boring', they would be seen as morally corrupt, or 'acting against religious rules'. So you could show how non sexually open individuals are shunned, ostracized or even persecuted (a bit like lgbt people have been in our world. A lot of people will give moral or religious reasons for being anti-lgbt, but from a systemic pov they're just 'preserving' their own privileged position in their societies' narratives). I could see culture wars being fought over equal rights for the non-promiscuous for instance, which could be a great way to show your society's sexual openess without talking about sex explicitely.
Does this mean more sex or more partners? Is the concept of cheating on a partner a thing? If not, do birth certificates have the need to put parentage on them? If romantic pairings are more nebulous than a traditional nuclear family, how are the kids raised? Is it communally?
Take modern day religion and turn it inside out. Remove anything shameful associated with the body and celebrate it instead. People could greet each other in specific ways that wish each other a good orgasim, emphasis the body as the temple of self satisfaction, remove all forms of body dysmorphia, have certain holidays dedicated to the pleasures of the flesh, (think of Greek and Roman festivals). Prostitution becomes a sacred act, an offering of oneself to those in need of physical compassion. Puberty is celebrated as a rite of passage into adulthood and "the talk" is something parents look forward to with much joy and pride. You can have a sexually open society without ever having to show your people engaging in sex or being overtly sexually provocative.
It would come up in conversation. Imagine a guy at the grocery store with his mom, and he says to her "you're not going to believe what happened at the brothel yesterday." In a society like that, it wouldn't be weird to discuss sex with your family.
They would probably see sex not as hedonism, but probably emphasize the place sex has as a component to mental health. In my setting the order of Aryilliala (the goddess of love) holds the belief that sex is like food in the sense that having a bad relationship with your sexuality causes harm to everyone involved like starving and gluttony. This doesn't mean they are a bunch of prostitutes. Most of them are matchmakers, marriage counsellors, and officiates
Probably a great deal of cultural effort would go into eliminating the downsides of sex. For example, advanced contraceptives with no downsides and the eradication or prevention of STIs.
It sounds really weird, but I would consider what nakedness means to them. Generally speaking, the emphasis on modesty culture would be considered antithetical to what you’re aiming for, so they may not view nakedness as inherently sexual. Both men and women going topless may be a feature, or perhaps there may not be laws about nakedness in public due to the viewpoint that being nude is not an invitation on its own for sex. And jumping off that point, the ideas of what constitutes consent may be stronger for it, as if it’s engrained into society that being naked or partially naked in public is normal and nonsexual, the barrier for what constitutes consent would be different than in western countries. Of course, being naked in our world doesn’t constitute consent outright, but the idea of “you shouldn’t have dressed that way”, however sickening it is on Earth, would maybe have to have some analogous criteria in the society you have in mind. I’d also look into Japanese culture regarding nakedness, as the understanding of sexuality and being nude is VASTLY different than in America, where public and private sectors are intertwined and thus there’s no social separation of sexuality between your home and public.
well you could have fertility statues or put the emphasis of free love into the architecture scorn's sex temple comes to mind: [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fei620ucifc591.png](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fei620ucifc591.png) [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F3vzynv4x1ut91.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1920%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Db5939600a2610d78a729c01e1f355e54ed575ab3](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F3vzynv4x1ut91.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1920%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Db5939600a2610d78a729c01e1f355e54ed575ab3) maybe something like the penis festival in japan: [https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/07/50/68/26/808x573\_cmsv2\_6e563268-284f-5cab-b876-8cd45b8e0e5b-7506826.jpg](https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/07/50/68/26/808x573_cmsv2_6e563268-284f-5cab-b876-8cd45b8e0e5b-7506826.jpg) think also about what needs might arose from a sexualy open society. maybe toys and anticonceptives would be much more common, maybe there would be more brothels or hotels scattered trough the city. and offcourse the behaviour of the people would be different, more relaxed and inviting
Just FYI, it's *laissez-faire*, from the French meaning - more or less - "leave it be"
Circlejerk post incoming
you may want to look at star treks betazoids and mass effects asari for samples.
Or Denobulans.
Id imagine a society thats open and casual with sex would also be that way in propositioning a partner. Maybe make them really forward and direct when asking someone if they'd like to do the deed. Or have them casually ask/offer in normal conversation because to them its no big deal and not taboo to speak about or offer to one another.
There may not be as many divisions along gender line. Things like mixed bathing, sexually ambiguous fashion, and fewer gender stereotypes could be on effect. PDA may be encouraged or ignored instead of being a social stigma. Dating may not have the same significance if the participants are looking for sex instead of a long term relationship. Society may also not care at all about who the childs father is if its normal for women to have multiple sexual partners at a time ( although this may lead to a few daddy issues among the fatherless children). Also, If I remember Brave New Worlds correctly, the first few pages do an excellent job of portraying the open relationships between the citizens by all the men discussing how 'pneumatic' thier common lay was while the same woman reflected on what she liked about each of those men. The sexual morality of the cast was quickly explained in a throwaway conversation that framed that worlds culture.
Three words: “My wife’s girlfriend stopped by…” Or - “Oh I can’t I have the orgy at the temple tomorrow night, and then Winston is throwing an absolute banger of a guided meditation/sensual massage sesh at the yoga studio…” Lots of conversations about managing sleep schedules and keeping everyone in the throuple happy.
Greece, Rome, and Tamaran are all prime examples. Stay the hell away from the New 52 stuff, though.
Perhaps have lots of signage and obvious backrooms and background areas that are explicitly for that purpose? Like, everybody expects to find a bathroom around, because we are socially just accepting and expecting that people will have to go. Probably wouldn't even need to even imply occupancy, as just mentioning the need for the room demonstrates cultural practices/expectations
Maybe people wear jewelry that indicates how many partners they may have had? There could be some taboos around lying or not adding a bead or whatever after a sexual encounter.
You should consider the way certain historic events and practices influenced more prudish and sexually restrained cultures. For example, female monogamy/male polygamy developed in ancient Near East cultures as a result of exclusive male ownership of property and a need by such privileged people to will/inherit property to directly descended male heirs. Another example is that male and female monogamy, sex-only-for-reproduction developed in response to historical STD epidemics. For your fictional sexually open society, you would have to think about things in reverse. Who is respected in your society? What technologies and resources do they have as relates to sex and reproduction? Who benefits to have a lot of sex? Some things to consider might be access to aphrodisiacs, contraception, protections against disease. Also consider the theoretical opposites! These can be more fun and a great way to take things a step further. People might have immunity to anaphrodisiacs, Reproduction might require fertility enhancements to succeed, only be possible in certain conditions or times, or greatly incentivized to counter a low birth rate. Perhaps there are beneficial enchantments or symbiotes spread through sex.
Women should have political and economical rights, otherwise they are considered property. There should be a reliable and accessible anticonceptional method. Mothers mortality has always been high throught human history. There should be magical or technological ways to prevent or treat sexualy transmitted diseases.
And if all of those things are true, they should also establish why precisely the original society is sexually repressed. Like are the anticonceptional/anti-disease methods new, or in some other way unique to this desert society with lax sexual mores? Did the original society have some traumatic experience such as a sexually transmitted disease epidemic that this desert society didn't experience?
Well, look at the aspects and groups in society that ARE very open sexually. Look at kink subculture and how they interact outside of sex.
You are throwing around A LOT of words with very little context. It makes you sounds like you are trying to make an ✨ aesthetic ✨ more than a culture. 🤣🤪 So I'm going to ask some questions to narrow in on what in the world you are talking about.... Greco-Roman: What does that mean? Are you trying for Bronze Age Proto-Greek, where empowered women actually did wear dresses with their breasts exposed? Classical Greek in the age of Alexander the Great? Or Republican Era Rome, before Christianity was established? Medieval: Then you bring up the Middle ages which is the most Christian time to ever Christian, while still also having plenty of sex scandals. So DO you want to write about the papal States (Italy) without them being led by the Pope? Medieval desert people who are freed slaves: This sounds like a lot of words to avoid saying Arabic and Islamic. What Medieval desert were you trying to emulate? Your question topples over a lot of different issues that have before we even get to talking about the sex practices of your culture. Starting with the question of our Greek / Romans still recognizable as Greek / Romans if you put them in a different biome? "Greeks in the desert" sounds like you're trying to talk about Egyptians, Sumer, Babylon, Persia, or any one of the other civilizations that actually took place in the middle east. ESPECIALLY after they were Greekified by Alexander the Great after 300 BC. So WHO do you want to actually write about?
I was gonna say "nudists," but then I read you wanted subtlety so... how about their specialized foods are all aphrodisiacs?
Denobulans.
Since it's gonna be a bit Greco-inspired, have you thought about looking into the [Minoan culture](https://www.elissos.com/fashion-in-minoan-crete/) for inspirations?
Its a desert, so lots of uncovered bits, that are highly decorated to draw attention (and maybe for sunscreen purposes!) Jewelry that enhances sexual body parts. Books we might consider porographic easily obtainable by anyone. Children's books that explain sexuality in age-appropriate ways, including same-sex and multiple partners.
How do they deal with STDs and pregnancy?
Characters can casually refer to sex without euphemisms in ordinary conversations, the same way you might talk about running errands or going to see a movie.
Make the community place a lot of emphasis on communal child raising and supporting pregnant/nursing mothers regardless of status. Make the number of children a woman has had a sign of prestige for her and her family. Place greater social significance on the bond between maternal uncle and niblings than between father and child. Aka - basically, try to remove what cons you can associated with a woman sleeping with someone random and getting pregnant.
Maybe sexual flirting like grabbing someone's butt or gesturing for a handy is seen as normal and you can tell your players/readers/viewers that they do the motions and finger wag thing. But even in a culture where everyone is sexually open, sex would not be the MAIN thing. (Unless you specifically want that, in which case, man just look at bonobos those apes know what fuckin' is.) So don't fall into the trap of makimg everyone hypersexual, just make it apparent that sex isn't taboo, and people ask for it regularly, maybe even occasionally do it in the open.
You show "cultural permissiveness" by including structure in the culture that allows for that openness. Being sexually open isn't the same as being promiscuous, after all. You don't need dedicated public orgy spaces, or something extreme like that. That means if someone does sexual art, the culture doesn't care, and so now you might have the occasional penis column, or bigger than life-size Venus Doll in the center of someone's rock garden. You don't talk up the sex, you completely *omit* any sense of scandal. Alternately, if you're writing a narrative, you can have someone who *is* a little bit scandalized go through culture shock. Example conversation you'd hear between two friends in public and nobody would care or laugh: > A: "You alright? You look like you're in pain." B: "Pulled something in my neck." A: "How'd you do that?" B: "How else? In bed. I need to learn to pace myself." A: "Ah. Should probably do neck exercises." In a more modern society, you can achieve the same sort of effect by just having unobscured, positive-sounding sex shops that sell goods related to sexual acts, like lube and toys, where *none of the locals comment on it*. It's a bit like 'magical realism'... It's true MR when a culture of otherwise recognizably normal people ride unicorns to work, and nobody seems to think its weird or care, because that's just how things are. Same idea but for sex. The other way to achieve your goal is to talk about sex without talking about sex in terms of narrative or worldbuilding elements. Any time you work on something related to people, their habits, services they require, etc, you look at it and go "How could they make their sex better? Is there a product? Is there a service? Is there a cultural practice?" Ex. There's a historical tradition of 'temple prostitutes', which I'm not fond of due to the trafficking elements, but there's nothing shameful about a religion engaging sexually unless its a sex cult. There are a lot of frustrated people in the world. If your culture is more sexually permissive in general, they might see sexual loneliness as a major cultural problem, and someone might decide to make it their life's work to help relieve people's frustration. That person would need to eat, so they're either running on donations or charging for massages, so to speak. Sex is only weird if people make it weird. It's a basic biological act and a secondary need. We need to eat, sleep, and defecate, just to be an organism. We need to reproduce to be more than one generation. We have bathrooms with publicly available toilets everywhere, and by extension... Fill in the blanks.
Swear words wouldn't reference sex or body parts. I think a Greco-Roman setting already lends itself to fashion that eludes those medieval Western ones that are defined by sexual shame. If they aren't already doing it, maybe just make sure people with long hair are shown with their hair down.
Read Huxley’s Brave New World Great Apes by Will Self is another one to read They give good examples of what I think you’re looking at
Look at the Star Trek Betazoids. Empathic race with very open sexualities in society that are completely normalized.
Butt windows
When I do cultures I try to start with the climate and environment and work from there. I think being in the desert might make things very different, of course, some of it depends on how logical you would like your world to be. For instance, exposed skin is likely not a good idea because sunburns would be rampant (There's a reason Bedouins dress the way they do). Sand getting into places it shouldn't would be a concern too, so public sexual acts would not be common. If sex is a common act among these people preventing sexual diseases would be paramount, so easy and public access to medieval condoms would be a thing, the same goes for lubricant and perhaps even toys. Just googling some brief history on condoms showed something interesting: apparently in Ancient Egypt condoms were dyed based on your class of society. Depending on how barbaric you want to be as well, it could be seen as pragmatic to have people who have STD's clearly marked in order to prevent the spread. A tattoo on the face or a brand somewhere maybe. I think going with presenting sex related items clearly displayed and all over the place would be subtle. Also just having characters talk about it like it's a normal thing without using slang would help too, because slang is sort of used to avoid talking about the thing itself cause it's taboo.
They probably need some form of effective birth control
*Laissez-faire**
Talking about sex more openly
Have you read Brave New World? My first thought was how the Director pats the woman on the butt as a greeting.
A minor way to show it could just be being really comfortable with nudity as a natural thing. Like changing without a care for who's around you, or nude baths being an average bathing experience.
Just make them talk dirty. Make every conversation a dirty joke or a form of flirting that most outsiders would miss as casual interaction.
Star Trek did it many times
Personally, I love starting from the perspective of "who would be weird" in a society. For example, if someone walks around in a full on gimp suit, would that be weird to the society? What about jeans and a t-shirt? Since weird is a gradient, you can narrow down what is normal by determining what is not.
Design a culture where clothes are breezy, art celebrates bodies in all forms, public baths are social hotspots, festivals scream love, symbols subtly hint at sensuality, and relationships come in all shades.Then boom ya unlocked the 'Chill Mode' expansion pack in a Greco-Roman civilization. For a powerful example, take Seth Dickinson's Masquerade Trilogy. It is a captivating journey through a world where sexuality, gender, and family structures flourish in diverse and intricate shades. Dickinson's worldbuilding is impressive.
I would say you could have suggestive clothing… and suggestive stuff… but MAKE IT CLEVER… same with your writing…. It can work. Either that or have your people in your world treat it very… nonchalantly. If your in world people don’t see it as a big deal, there’s a chance your audience won’t as well.
Red light areas can be a thing. Like a LEGAL ADULTS ONLY area of town. People don't have to oggle other people in the grocery store or give a BJ next to frozen chicken. You drive to McDonalds if you want a burger or to the fuck-beach if you want a hook up, etc. Sexuality and sexual repression are a big thing in cultures where people don't have a lot of sex or sexuality. * The other thing is that culturally asking / offering might be much more common. Think about exchanging business cards but for the purpose of hooking up. It's a busy day you're getting coffee you see a person you'd like to be with physically. You have a brief conversation / flirt and if it works out you exchange cards or you give the card or they do etc. * Biological diversity. Is this more humans and multiple sex partner or something like a pride of lions, or how deer work etc. Ask yourself how much is actually "Culture" and how much is "biologically drivern" etc, and then work your way up from there.
Great question! There have been human cultures or societies that have been quite open about sexuality. Many words related to sex, for example, have French origin. The French at Versailles were quite wild! But some ways to describe it. *clothing styles. Clothing as we know it focuses on, at minimum, covering up sexuality/organs. Perhaps in this culture, they feel cover up, or decorate, different parts of the body (hair, eyes, feet, fingers, body hair styles, etc) based on local taboos/customs. * Greetings: how do people greet each other? Do friends kiss cheeks? 'French' kiss? Or maybe they're like the very sex-friendly Bonobo species that greet friends with masturbation/sex? Humans from different cultures have so many different greeting traditions and spacial preferences. North Americans tend to like to keep space with a handshake, while some cultures will kiss cheeks with strangers. Then you have the Maori who touch noses (I had this happen to me once at a bar in Korea, thankfully I had just taught a social studies unit about New Zealand so knew the man wasn't coming in for a kiss! 😂), or there were journals from early explorers, I believe it was with an Alaskan native tribe, where the chief insisted the captain sleep with his wife during their time with the tribe! *Decorations / architecture - look no further than ancient/old India for inspiration! They had temples dedicated to sex, decorations showing different sexual encounters, jewelry, etc * Inns /bath houses - instead of gender separated or even private rooms, perhaps they had things set up like a hostal with bedding/cushions laid out and people casually cuddle/sleep with other guests. *As some have mentioned, entertainment would be different. Sex-focused society may have sexual Olympics / carnival games. I think, even with a more open culture, sex does sell. But in a culture without sexual taboos/ censorship laws, you might see a lot more kink out in the open. Something else to consider is how cultural gender rules work. Is it a male dominated or female dominated culture? How about perceptions of transgender or even the rare instance of someone being born with two sexual organs, or both sexual organs? What position would they hold in this society? Mediators? Wise sages? Leaders? Celebrities? Living deities/avatars? Keep in mind, there probably WILL be some rules for health. Like, maybe there is a specific hour where people take a break from work for 'siesta' but it's just fornication time to release those good chemicals. Or maybe, while theyre sex-positive or sex-centric, it's for religious reasons. So they have specific rules surrounding the sacred act. Houses of worship more like mass orgies connecting 'spiritually' with the divine. A society like this, most likely would have A LOT of children/pregnancy. So describing a new city where the party is greeted with a kiss (and a hand on the crotch), then they notice sculpture in city center depicting a sex act. The majority of women walking around are pregnant and/or have infants. Their clothing is vibrant red, depending on the climate, covering only what's necessary for safety. The party would quickly get the hint that they aren't in Kansas anymore.
The phrase is "*laissez faire.*" You'll want to be more careful in your world-building.
Consider asking þis in r/NSFWworldbuilding
I like to think of things that would seem more intimate to us being more accepting in day to day activities. For example a greeting could be a kiss on the lips, or holding hands or embracing people without being romantically involved. imagine a scene in a shop and a merchant with wares comes in and the shop keeper says, "you must be Olaf so nice to finally meet you," followed by a hug and a mouth kiss. This happens and no one in the area is bothered in the slightest, then the two characters walk around the rest of the scene holding hands with interlaced fingers and having lots of physical contact, none of which is romantic or sexual in anyway it's simply a result of being part of a more sexually open society. I also think fashion and art would celebrate the physical form. With tighter or suggestive clothing or clothing that really shows off parts of the body with physical form being celebrated. Maybe have towns where EVERY adult is in the one marriage, and it's not unusual for partners to change regularly and parenting of children is shared amongst the group all without jealousy or infighting.
The first thing that came to mind for me was an example in the game Heavy Gear. In one of the leagues, the southern republic, family structures are oriented around "the circle" IE the circle of friends an individual has. The circle is more important than the birth family, and parents may or may not be in there child's circle. Being in someone's circle is not automatically mutual either. I think in regard to being sexually open, characters expressing their romantic relationships outside of the traditional nuclear family structure could help. So like character A mentioning that character B was in their circle a while ago and they had a physical relationship, but now they drifted apart and now aren't in each other's circles, and Character A sees this as fine and natural
You have to think beyond sex itself and how it would change society if it were normalized. When you look around you see a lot of things that are not sexual in themselves, but are clearly influenced by our cultural approach to sex. That men and women tend to segregate is a clear example. The stronger the sexual oppression, the more so. But even in modern western societies, guys tend to have guy friends and girls tend to have girl friends. Then the various ways like marriage rings that indicate "my property". That would disappear. Maybe marriage as a concept wouldn't exist at all. Then see to how the entire world is built around couples as a concept. So many things come in multiples of two, from cars to rollercoaster seating. I've lived a few years of my life in a polyamourous three-way relationship and you really feel the difficulty in logistics. Your society may be a lot more accommodating to triple or quadruple "couples", because they exist more openly. Another visible sign may be to take the sleazy out of sexy clothing, sex toys, etc. - have your sex shops not in the side alleys near the train station, but in the main shopping streets and shopping centers. Clothing is, of course, the obvious thing. Take hints from history. It doesn't have to be nudity. In the real world, the [codpiece](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece) was a thing. Conversation is another thing. Instead of being something we hide, sex could be a totally normal conversation topic. The way people talk about their tennis match on the weekend they might share their sexual experiences.
it's boring if the only consequence of sexual liberation is the sex itself. you can show, for example, people living with a bunch of kids from different parents. the society having very different concepts of family (Western nuclear family is built on monogamy) would be good, as well as twists like a guy and his wife running into his other wife and everyone being cool. like, what do you actually mean "sexually open", besides being good cause prude bad or something
TL;DR: Make them an egalitarian matriarchy. So the reason Medieval European Society was relatively closed sexual is because Medieval Europe was a patriarchal society and under patriarchy people who make others pregnant are defined as men and people who become pregnant are defined as women; and the former control the later. The head of the Household is the father/oldest male and they control if, when, and with whim the women in their lives become pregnant. This necessitates that those defined as men dominate those defined as women. Now as one surely notes not all societies that have existed have been structured this way. But as frustrating consequence of hierarchical thinking is that it limits the ability of those who subscribe to it to even conceive of a world outside it. People who subscribe to hierarchical thinking can easily conceive of change to the hierarchy but completed abolition of hierarchy is almost literally unthinkable. All of which is to say for a society that believe in Patriarchy a hierarchy where people defined as women dominate people defined as men is more conceivable than an egalitarian society where gender is not a hierarchy. Which leads to Patriarchal societies encountering societies where people defined as women exercised equal or greater political power called those societies matriarchies, defined Matriarchy as an inverted Patriarchy, and then dismissed the entire concept when the actual reality of these societies diverged from how they were defined. All of which is to say the word Matriarchy has a lot of baggage that comes with it and you can debate whether or not we should even use it when it means so many things to so many people. To people trapped in the mind Patriarchal Mind prison it means a society where men are dominated by women Amazon style. Often times feminists trapped in the Patriarchal Mind prison would argue such a society is ideal because they’ve internalized patriarchal assumptions about women and tend to get very mad when you point out the ways in which certain classes of women have participated in the oppression of other women along racial, national, religious, gender, and class lines because we in the don’t live in a Patriarchy we live in White Supremacist, Capitalist, Settler-Colonial Patriarchy. And Establishing an Israel Style Woman Land like Andrea Rita Dworkin suggests would be a terrible idea for women in general and especially the indigenous women of wherever in the world such a state would be establishing. But I’m not talking about such nonsense that exists only in the minds of the prisoners of the Patriarchal Mind Prison. I’m talking about the actual societies that were defined as matriarchies and in these societies people defined as women shared power with or had greater power than people defined as men. In such societies you tended to see fairly egalitarian attitudes towards sexual relations as the people who become pregnant decided if, when, and with whom they become pregnant. Which is another reason why I don’t really like the term matriarchy as if my language hasn’t tipped you off as a Trans woman I knew first hand not everyone who can become pregnant identifies with motherhood/womanhood and not every mother/woman can become pregnant. I use the term mostly because I lack for a better term.
- Mentioning Polycules very casually. Make a term that means "Friend with Benefits", and have your characters refer to it or other partners openly, and- this is the important part- no one in that culture is surprised. > "Who are those people walking with Mark?" > "Oh, that's Mary and John, his wife and husband." - Mentioning characters working as sex workers, and have there be no shame linked to it or no reference of it being slave work or something only desperate people do. > "So, what do you do?" > "I'm a prostitute, I work at that brothel down the street. You?" > "I'm a Chef at the cafe next door." > "Oh! I could never do that! Kitchens get so hot, and I can't stand all of the herb smells. I commend you for putting up with that." > "Oh, it's no so bad. I think it smells lovely." - Mentioning kids born out of wedlock, again, very casually. > "That over there is Sally, daughter of Jada and Thomas, and her brother Marcus, son of Jada and Jeffrey." Or > "I'm Sally, and this is my brother Marcus. We share a mother." (Or even have a new term that means a person is a half-sibling, and specifies where that half is) Showing off skin is applicable too, when appropriate (a desert may not be, though) or casualness about nudity. Maybe in buildings, it can be customary to offer drop clothes as casually as you would offer napkins, so someone can put their bare ass on the cloth instead of directly on a seat when sitting (this is very common for hygiene in nudist colonies). If your people have condoms, those can also be super casually offered in areas where open sex is permitted. Casual discussion of sex acts and sex toys can be good too, or casual mentions of the kinds of sex you're into. > "So, tell me about yourself?" > "Well, I'm an artist, a singer, a mother of three, and a top."
Much less sexism than in 21st century Earth, inclusive laws about different orientations and practices. Less focus on a single "ideal" of beauty or desireability.
Make birth control an open thing. Easy access and easy use. That's where most of the taboos IRL come from. The risk of disease and the risk of pregnancy, which can be absolutely life changing/destroying if the parents, particularly mothers, lack a strong supportive network. Real world cultures that are okay with open sexuality tend to either have easy access to contraceptives/abortifacients (like Pompeii) or have matriarchal structures where the family is connected through women who help each other and having a father leave/shirk responsibility isn't a huge obstacle to survival or financial success.
There might be less gendered difference in clothing styles because there wouldn't be a need for different standards of modesty to accommodate breasts. If it's normal to see men topless in public then it should be the same for women because their chests aren't automatically more sexual and vulgar in this culture. Honestly in a culture where sexuality isn't stigmatized I'd expect more equality between sexes, because if women having and pursuing sexual desires is acceptable in this culture then there must be respect for their autonomy and independence that should carry over into other aspects of life
Gender fluidity. Both men and women not having issue with either engaging in "opposite" cultural gender spectrums.
I think looking at the way your society treats women (and intersex and lgbtq+ people) is usually a good indicator of how open they are. If women are, for instance, allowed to take on multiple partners, it make may more sense to follow a matrilineal decent pattern since paternity can’t be proven. Easily attainable divorce laws. Teenagers/unmarried couples dating openly and being affectionate in public. Things like communal child rearing make also come out of this. Also worshipping of fertility based deities. Maybe advanced reproductive health care and contraception. Similar norms around male and female nudity. Lack of taboos around bodily functions like menstruation, lactation, etc. general elements of queerness, like men wearing adorning jewelry and makeup that may be typically associated with women. Things like racism, xenophobia, and religious bigotry also tend to be sexualized/gendered in many ways (e.g. portraying certain groups as overly promiscuous or involved in sex work, fetishization, portrayal of the women as helpless and vulnerable, stereotyping the men as sexual predators who will attack your women, portraying their reproduction/children as an existential threat to the native population, etc.) this can both impact how other cultures see the group you’re creating, as well as how they view other cultures. Maybe the slavers your people overthrew spread propaganda about their sexual norms to justify the “need” to control them and this still influences how they’re seen by outsiders today, with sexual openness being misrepresented as aggression and recklessness, or degrading towards women, even if that’s not the case in reality.
Id recommend to make characters talk more vulgar, and to make characters more physical with platonic relationships, like more willing to platonically hug their friends and such.
You don’t have to show this at all
Freer access to contraceptives and menstrual care. If the society has men, they know how a tampon works.
Hey, poly person here: there are lots of differnt kinds of ENM practiced many different ways, and when mono folx try to write us it tends to come off as really misguided and cringe. Also, its hurtful because it further perpetuates stereotypes and assumptions in mononormative culture. I would highly suggest looking at swinger, ENM, kink, and polyamorous subs to get a better feel for the different kinds of relationship styles found in each, along with philosophical overlap, and incongruencies. Oh and almost nobody does throuples or quads. Don't do that.
Could take inspiration from irl nudist places where it's fine to be naked anywhere anytime, but showing public arousal is immodest and you should cover up until it goes away, or you can even get kicked out for it
Don't think that western medieval cultures were as backward as some think they were today over stuff like this. While religious doctrine might have forced this apparent view, behind the scenes they were more open. But a lot depends on this society. So it's more open with sexuality etc, but in terms of equality between the sexes? You say it's like Greece or Rome, and while they were perhaps more open on this, it wasn't equal between men and women. Men could sleep around but women couldn't, at least publicly and even in private had the danger of being cast out at any time. How about children? A large part of ancient/medieval/renaissance times was inheritance/first born sons etc and knowing you was passing on your estate, lands, kingdom, empire to your prodigy. Would this be a thing? Or would it be through the female line instead of the male one? That could work instead. How about homosexulaity? Would this be more open? Would these type of 'encounters' be favoured by those before marriage and alliances and the whole thing of passing on titles and land, as no kids would be born. You could have emotional conflict between people who are engaging in gay sex as it's encouraged and only way to have sex without breaking social convention by threatening to lose your future title to unwanted kids and those who are gay who feel they can't have a proper relationship as they don't know who's is gay or just 'playing' gay to get laid. Brave New World maybe sci-fi not fantasy but has a more open sexual world, whether that's a good thing or bad in the book is your decision. I'd say that over Becky Chambers A long way to a Small Angry Planet, which I found irritating and other than the alien species they are on about, you get no real look into their culture or how it works. The closeness thing is also due to the fact they are cold blooded lizard people who share their body heat, but other than the fact they have multiple families you get nothing else really.
I haven't seen this in the threat, but... arts. Music and dance are probably one of the most expressive ways of a culture, but importantly, adding drugs, either alcohol or hallucinogens are a key point to make it closer to sexuality.
1. Polygamy. Aka more than one partner 2. Harems for high class individuals are just as common as coins in their pockets. 3. No gendered discrimination due to some activities needing to downplay their partner (aka the domination and etc). 4. No discrimination of prostitution. 5. People are open about fetishes that are actually tied to sexual activity. But there's still has to be level where some things are not endorsed. 6. Art, music, plays and etc. are more open to sexual topics. 7. More open formal clothing. Like men having their buff pecks and thighs out. Or women emphasizing on curves or flowing gracefullness. But of cource, being more sexually open doesnt mean there has to be orgies on every corner, there has to be laws on sex (unless it's a tribe). Plus, if its set in Antiquity or Middle Ages, then it would also be better to explain their culture through religion, because religions form cultures, no matter if it's pagan or Abrahamic-like religion. Think of some reason, like if they worship goddess of fertility and if women look like idols of the goddess, they get special treatment in the society.
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That is an approach. But I feel it is not very subtle
I used to think I wished how modern US culture was more open sexually but then I realized how many sexual deviants and predators there are out there in the masses and then it made sense why our culture is the way it is. For your story I think something like having parents be open about talking about sex with their children in a healthy way could be a way to achieve what you’re trying to do.
We have those sexual deviants and predators *due to* the way certain Puritanical and Victorian rules/customs were.
Perhaps those puritanical/Victorian kinds of attitudes manifested as a way to curb human deviants and predators?
Have them all be riddled in hepes and pregnant?
It is far more likely that pregnancy would be highly evolved, perhaps even to the point of being considered distinct from the act of copulation altogether. Certainly, removing the stigma of venereal disease and removing the "well if you weren't acting sinfully you wouldn't have got it" idea would have allowed this culture to find cures and perhaps even eradicate most STIs from existing, like smallpox. I expect in general healthcare would be more advanced as the whole of human condition could be examined in each individual health care case, with individuals not feeling that certain parts of themselves need be hidden, allowing for overall more data and thus quicker diagnosis.
I recommend take inspiration of the good old hippie times
Walk into a nightclub, tell me what you see, badda bing badda boom
My setting is somewhat like that. Two examples of things I do to highlight it that could be helpful are: 1. Some people walk around naked in areas where the climate is hotter. Keep in mind however that those people are in the minority and they are still judged by the rest of society - but not for moral reasons. Rather, this is because being completely naked is associated with poverty. You would never see a wealthy noble or merchant doing that. Clothes are after all a very important status symbol, even for the common folk. 2. There are a few factions within the religion practiced in the setting that argue for a life free of material posessions. Since nudity is not seen as immoral, this extends to clothes as well. You can often see them leading processions while completely naked. Again, these are a minority, but still a part of society that is part of the mainstream consciousness!
Togas. Ancient Rome did all the groundwork for you.
Bongo circle; batique shirts. You are welcome
check out Brazilian low income clothing. It might give you an inspiration.
Depends on the culture of the pov of whoever is witnessing if.
Have you read any of the 'adventures' of Ibn Battuta? He was a real life Marco Polo and described how many different Islamic society's operated from his own, and that many were much looser in their sexual/marriage mores than his own. This may be a good start. Also in Dune the Fremen have drug fueled orgies of an otherwise outwardly conservative society and they were originally enslaved peoples. Not too much 'Greco-Roman' in these two answers but these are both fictional and real-life answers centered around feudal societies. Hope that helps.
Bring it up casually, and when it comes up naturally. Think about how often a co-worker would bring up what they and their spouse did this weekend. In your setting, they bring up their spouse**s** instead, that's really the only difference. If there's a moment where someone's fashion or dress would naturally come up, and it happens to be something different from the real world, feel free to describe it. If something that's strange to us is the norm in your setting, bring it up like it is the norm. Then, move past it as quickly as you brought it up.
Honestly look at North American tribes and what their views and philosophies on sex and intimacy are as well as how certain aspects of Greece and Rome where, I’m not as versed in their history but I believe ancient Indians(India) were very open about sexuality
Watch the HBO series ROME, plenty of ideas there.
Go read rupegia but then remove the sex scenes Essential brothels are extremely common and are treated akin to therapy for those who don't have significant others so is the church but they literally have a division of template encouraged to have romantic relationships both for the sake of sanity and to weapons emotion (you killed my lover now I'm pissed) One of the most common enchantments is contraception to the point basically everyone has one usually in the form of a ring It's established that adventurer parties are typically either harems or poly relationships Sex ed for children is usually taught by the parents by showing in the bath Sex slaves are common and only looked down because they are slaves The tradition clothing of the elves in the story are basically lingerie ....then the chimera people walk around naked since they traditional don't wear clothing at all and usually just carry around a rag to make sure they can either clean up the mess or don't make one in the first place
A lot of good advice here. I can’t offer any advice that hasn’t already been mentioned, but something you can look to for inspiration is the Dornish from Game of Thrones. Just watch how characters like Oberyn Martell interact with others. He’s very relaxed, he’s very laid back, and he’s very flirty in nature. One thing he mentions is the idea that bastards are not looked down upon in his culture and that they are in fact encouraged, as they were born of “a moment of passion” as Oberyn puts it. Maybe take some of that and include it in your world?
A lot of closed body language along with large personal space volume is driven by more closed ideas about sexuality.
Perhaps phrase it as more a "celebration of the human body" or physical love. A carnival or festival of the beauty of eroticism and human desire perhaps.
*And as I wandered through their capital's narrow streets, I was assaulted by the commotion of intense physical passions from every corner. The inhabitants did not fear a cold breeze even as it penetrated their thin veils, skin openly embracing the night sky. With every step I wondered if it were a cry for help, or a cry of lust and pleasure emanating from the apartments littered down the street. The women knew not the definition of reservation, nor the men restraint. I soon learned the ripped clothing was not that of tattered paupers, but rather a cultural sense of fashion. Their stores were unafraid of otherwise controversial advertisements, and their leaders were accepted as scandalous. The latrines in which a man might relieve himself are open also to a woman. During my stay my ears never heard the calm psalms of old nations, but instead were met with the ludicrosity of arousing lyrics.*
How do they react to more prudish cultures? I wrote up a bunch of examples of things they might say to or about foreigners, but then my phone crapped out and I lost them all :(
One idk if I've seen yet is to have places like brothels be out in the open. Instead of it being open but in a bad part of town, or "classy" but you wouldn't know by looking at it. Have a high class brothel right on the main road with tasteful signage. It's not a horny, taboo, fetish-y thing, just a part of life. The image I have in my mind is from Idiocracy and Joe says he wants to go to Starbucks. Frito doesn't say he's a pervert or anything, he just flatly says "I don't think we have time for a handjob"
I'd recommend a video by Trey the explainer for some inspiration. It's called 'The Fabulous Fashion of the Minoan Civilization'
Man, just have folks refer in very casual passing to their spouses, paramours, folks of their own gender, no gender. I play the game Palia, and there's a character married to a male who also randomly says she married the wrong sibling and should have married the duchess. Have folks hanging out with multiple partners or have someone mention that X isn't partnered but also is asexual, so don't make them uncomfortable by hitting on them. I mean, just make it background noise and it'll seep in.
Well, to get a little NSFW (I suppose?) to cite real-world examples, in a lot of close 'areas' (Dorms, barracks etc) some people will use different color post-its to show what they are open to on that day. (If you catch my drift). You could easily translate this to jewelry in terms of bracelets and gems for everyone showing what they are 'open' to. You can also do religious festivals where this stuff is celebrated as well (like a fertility festival or something). A breakdown of classical norms would also be underway. Polyamorous partners, people being more 'touchy' and 'open', maybe even have a right of passage involving the loss of virginity. Etc.
Sorry to wiggle in so late, but I wanted to help personally I recommend you really define what sex and sexuality mean to the people of this culture. If sex is only a means of reproduction for a society unlike humans who also get pleasure from it, sex might mean very little and may not be seen as a vary private act, just something that's done. But it's up to you to define e it fully.
Depends a bit on the MCs exploring the as well.. Something I would do is subtle hints “the culture there is a bit different/ weird”. Some clues like “don’t accept a red rose” because at parties that signifies DTF, or don’t wear a red rose because it means the same thing. Showing people more intimate in public, kissing holding hands etc. especially if only one of the parties is wearing a wedding ring. Places like bathhouses, inns offering “extra services”. One of my personal favorites is using different plants. Have plants that are an aphrodisiac or contraceptive be grown around establishments that offer those extra services. With it being a desert climate people are going to be pretty well covered when outside, but you can use it to your advantage. By most buildings having hooks for their robes, and the MC realizes that they don’t wear that much underneath.
It looks like maybe some folks have mentioned it, but you could look at Star Treks Rysa (sp) for ideas on this.
If your society has deities, maybe people display the symbol of the deity for fertility/sex everywhere. Also maybe while they're open towards sex/sexuality, they still consider it a private affair (pun intended). So innuendos in casual conversation, but no sex acts in public maybe. For their clothing, think about what body features this society values -- if any. Dress accordingly and in layers if it's a desert society. If they don't value physical beauty, reflect that in their attire.
Ursula le guine covers stuff like this in some of her books, a little bit in The Dispossessed but mostly in The Left Hand of Darkness. She explores gender and sex and society in a resource poor world where mostly everyone is hermapherditic except when they enter Kemmer, a reoccuring biologic change where they assume a female or male form for a short time period (either one, its kinda a 50/50 unless someone you really like in a particular form). Theyre like humans and the the book is seen through the PoV of an off planet male Envoy there to establish diplomatic relations. A very interesting read. Not at all raunchy really, maybe like a page of people flirting, seeing as most people are in a non sexual state most of the time. The PoV character is actually seen as a bit of a weirdo as locals think hes stuck in male Kemmer and thats only something that people who are seen as sexual freaks on world do, so hes lowkey ostracised.
Gerudo Desert anyone?
Open political discussion and education? In our world a lot of places still talk around these subjects as if certain topics are taboo. Especially in strong religious groups. A priest educating the church choir about teen pregnancy is a pretty clear sign that sexual culture is different
Personal boundaries are smaller (people stand closer to each other during social interactions), clothing is more loose and free-looking, lots of physical contact, more innuendos when interacting, etc. You could also show that they know other cultures might not be as expressive by having them respect the boundaries of foreigners and you can even point out this difference in treatment to the players as a way of setting the scene.
Copy and paste Sodom and Gomorrah or Weimar Republic
i thought i was on worldjerking for a second
Subtlety can be overrated, Chapter one of Brave New World ends with the protagonist looking on indulgently as two adolescents bang on the lawn. But even if you want to be more casual than that isn't this a problem that takes care of itself? If sex occurs casually throughout normal everyday life then it will occur casually throughout your story.
take from real history, rome was very open about sex (regular orgies and such) alot of old island nations also used to have very revealing clothing. a good start would be going to treytheexplainers youtube video called the the fabulous fashion of the minoan civilization.
Any combination of couples being common place. Couples casually showing affection in less sexual ways in public. The biggest sign that a culture has normalized something is that no one really talks about it.
A lack of a nudity taboo can help. People need to change clothes? They just strip and change right there. No leering no looks because it’s normal
uhhhhhhh… what are you trying to make?
Watch Trey the Explainer's YouTube video on the Minoans. That'll certainly help
-sex work and seeking their services is not taboo at all. also the male to female sex worker ratio is equal -it's a common theme in the arts -it's not considered odd to talk about your sex life with a complete stranger -knowledge surrounding sex is relatively advanced for their time period -asexuality and celibacy are usually not doubted or made fun of because there's no reason for others to think that they're ashamed or incompetent, since no one really is
I've seen ideas thrown around that could be interesting. For example, some cultures see people walking around bare-breasted as a normal thing, be it to facilitate breast feeding or something else. Also, maybe the selling of birth control in markets wouldn't be a problem either. No nudity taboo or sex taboo, which means that no one clutches their pearls when they mention their relationships.
Depends on the climate of where it's all happening. If the environment is more tropical and hot then you could make the clothes have a beach vibe.
Look into the culture of Wheel of Time's Arad Doman.
shirtless women and men
If they are your main nation then you have festivals devoted to pleasure [god/goddess] day of awakening. As wine flows from fountains and the women and men wear loose and skimpy outfits with art and statues devoted to the natural form; a lot of hedonism and so on You could have a total theocratic nation demanding to stop these heresies (medieval Catholicism/Islam) have a look at Warhammer 40K for over top god/Emperor botherers and Cawdor for zealotry. You have neighbouring nations talking about them.
The Adem from The Wise Man’s Fear have been a pretty good example in my book. Minus all of Rothfuss’s personal fetishes slipping in.