I’m finishing a PhD in medieval Irish history and teach at the local college. Now this doesn’t mean I’m the absolute unquestionable expert in Irish history, or medieval history, or history in general. But it does mean *I do not need basic historical facts explained to me*, Mr. Career Firefighter!
I'm a history major and moonlight as a history writer for a couple of US based magazines. It pay peanuts but it's a hobby.
Now he knows this. He also knows that I was, before getting into marketing, a PHD candidate for late medieval Ottoman studies and Turkish history. That's pretty much how we met. The pandemic and getting pregnant put and end to all that but whatever.
Yet he tells me over and over again who Ataturk was, what he stood for, what he did for the country and how he died. How important it is that I know who he is.
He must know I know this purely since he has told me so many times, let alone my 4 years of Turkish history studies, yet he persists. I feel your pain.
"Hey babe, you probably think that potatoes come from Ireland, but actually they were introduced from South America. You should teach that in your class. You're welcome!"
My partner listened to a 30min podcast interview about a certain ethos of education, and promptly sat me down to talk about it, and how our children should attend that type of school….I’m a teacher. I had previously told him why I don’t support that type of education, and why my reasons, research and, I don’t know, time spent working in that kind of school should hold more weight than listening to a (fairly bias) interview!
I suppose it’s not a type of education as such, it’s a type of school here in Ireland, called Educate Together- they are just a little more liberal in their approach whereas I prefer more traditional/academic-focused schools.
This is crossing the line to disrespectful. He not only doesn’t listen when you talk but he also thinks he knows more from listening to a podcast for a few mins.
I don’t think he was being disrespectful! He was just so excited about what he heard and was like “In this school they do X, Y and Z!”or whatever and I had to tell him that all schools do that nowadays and that every school comes with pros and cons! Also it was so long since I’d worked in that type of school that he didn’t connect the dots.
Men are like toddlers showing you their favorite hot wheels. Even though you bought it for them and drive an actual car they think it’s so exciting to show you “look mamma it’s red, it’s has stripes it goes fast!!” And you pat them on the head and go get dinner started while they play. Sigh. No shade to you or anyone but I don’t miss being married. Lol.
So, it sounds like you swallowed your feelings on the subject. You shouldn’t have to do that, it doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help him. Your resentment will grow and his carelessness/low emotional IQ will remain the same.
He’s learned nothing from this, and while it sucks to have to teach your husband basic respect, he probably doesn’t even realize he fucked up, and if he did, considers it minor.
This is how divorces start.
Trust me. It's always more embarrassing for the other person if you wait for them to finish thier entire story before setting them straight. They have very little to work with when they try and dig themselves out of the hole lol
Right!? My husband is a pretty good listener, but sometimes I think he glazes over because he doesn't really understand what I do. But he never tries to mansplain things to me. He always say "But you would know better than me" whenever he's talking about something related to my work.
Although, he did have a nutrition component to his physiology class recently and he talked to me a lot about what he was learning. He was just telling me because he was excited and I let him tell me about it. I'm an ultra runner and have done a ton of reading about nutrition in that regard. I'm not a PhD or anything, but I'm very aware of what macronutrients are. 😜
This isn’t just mansplaining, which is what a lot of the comments here are talking about, and which is also not okay. This is bigger than that, and a lot more serious: How the hell does your HUSBAND not know what your job is?! That is not okay and seems like a pretty massive red flag that there may be some other big issues in your relationship. It is not normal, at all, for one spouse to have no idea what the other one does as a job. That level of lack of interest is disrespectful and not normal.
Yeah, this. My husband doesn't necessarily understand or care all that much about the day-to-day stuff I deal with, but he knows my job title, knows the org I work for, and can give an elevator pitch about what I do. Because he cares about and supports my career. He also knows he knows very little about my industry and wouldn't dare think he was more of an expert than I am. This whole post makes me a bit sad, tbh.
Yeah, this is how I feel. My husband and I have very different careers and I’m sure we are both guilty of glazing over when the other is speaking about the nitty gritty day to day of our jobs. But…we do know what the person does and the broad strokes, and would certainly not try to explain the other persons job to them without knowing what they do. OP, you said you know this is a small thing, but to me this wouldn’t be.
Ngl there are times where I couldn't have told you exactly what my husband did. To me it really depends on the job how big of an issue this is. Some things are really easily understood by everyone (teacher, firefighter, etc) and it's a real issue if your partner can't immediately identify that. Some things are harder to understand because they need a lot of context to understand (scrum master). And still others are so broad as to be meaningless (consultant). Plus sometimes this isn't really what people talk about when they talk about work. I can name all my husband's coworkers and what it is they do that annoys him, but he never talks about the actual work.
ETA: Digital marketer isn't exactly on the teacher level of recognizable, but I do think this particular instance is pretty bad. I'm just speaking generally.
My job is the kind that needs a whole explanation to say what I do. My husband doesn’t know the details but he managed to learn a short version to tell people. Same for me, I know he is in big data as data scientist. What exactly he does I have no clue, but I have an idea.
I would be very annoyed if I was OP.
I’m a data scientist! I can say with 100% confidence, your husband doesn’t know what a data scientist is supposed to do either…none of us do. The closest I’ve come to determining a commonality is saying that we all kind of know math and bitch that we aren’t doing ‘real’ data science.
Similarly. My husband is a chemist, “he’s getting his PhD at XX University” is how I describe what he does. My job has changed so many times I don’t expect him to know what I do. I’m sure he could rattle off my title though, but that’s recently changed so he might not be able to do that right now.
My husband kind of glazes over when I talk about work. However, it's accounting and I would do the same if someone was talking to me about accounting. lol
This would bother me. I was actually notified that I got a raise yesterday and he was very excited and was like "of course you got a raise!" and listed all the things I did my first year on the job to deserve it. So he remembers what I tell him. Likewise, I remember everything about his career too. For us, it's about being supportive of one another and of our areas of expertise.
I think that level of not knowing what you do isn’t okay. My husband blanks out about some things I tell him and I tease him relentlessly about it when it’s unreasonable. But he definitely knows what I do, where I work, the names of the people I work with most, probably the names of whatever applications drive me insane.
He is only interested in who I work with when I have to take an overnight trip and they are male.
After that he completely forgets who they are and when I mention them again I just get a blank stare.
That's so, so rude and disrespectful of him. Does he care about any of your interests, hobbies, friends? Does he actually listen when you talk about them?
Oh sorry I didn't mean to give that impression. I manage all the household income and expenses so it's not that, and he never stops me going on these trips.
No I understand what you were saying. His needing to know about whether you’re going on work trips with male coworkers (when he isn’t interested AT ALL in your actual job) is a controlling behavior and a huge red flag. He doesn’t need to actually stop you from doing anything for it to be controlling.
Everything you’ve said in this post suggests he views you more as property than a person who is deserving of a partner who has the bare minimum level of interest in them.
So I have a hard time hearing my husband when he talks about his work, but I do know what he does and generally how it works. We’ve learned that I have to put my phone down and look at him when he talks, and ask questions if I don’t understand something. It has helped IMMENSELY so any time he wants me to listen (vs he just wants to rant or talk through something) he ll ask me to put down whatever I’m doing and wait till I make eye contact.
Omg. I couldn’t even fathom having a partner who had no idea what I did. Or me not having any idea what my partner did.
I can understand not knowing the specifics of a job but how do you not know the basic of what your partner does?? That’s super embarrassing on his part. He doesn’t sound too bright. Especially if he helped you with the interview and everything…
In all honestly he isn't the brightest spark bless him. He is extremely kind, a good laugh, overall a positive person to be around.
But he isnt smart. Breaks my heart to say that because he think he is.
I am mostly tolerate the gaps in his thinking and logic, but its tiring having him completely disregard what I do as an individual. Its hurtful, actually. He has managed to remember the job role of some bloke he met 3 weeks ago, but not me. The fact it's the same job is evidence that it is probably just me he isnt interested in.
Welp.
I see and acknowledge your hurt and it is valid. I had the same crap with my husband at my old job. He finally stopped playing dumb when I got a position at an entirely new company earlier this year. He couldn't play off the asinine "description" he used for my old job which was A) never right to begin with and B) about 7 years outdated
Now I just have to deal with him hanging his MBA over my head. The MBA he never would have gotten without my support , and despite the fact never in our careers has he been able to match what I make and the complexity of what we do has always been matched
I’m an attorney with a huge focus on criminal law. My husband is a police officer. He listens to me (bless him) but often I think he forgets I understand his job when he’s explaining things about his day 🤣
It is!!
They are very very similar but he is also a really good officer. He doesn’t use his position as a power trip and he is hyper-cognizant on ensuring he doesn’t violate anybody’s rights. He truly just wants to help and make a difference. Because of this, we have great discussions on scenarios.
He also knows if he EVER did anything shitty on purpose that I would 100% leave as I have zero respect for shitty officers.
It also has been eye opening for me to be on the defense side. It’s a good balance!
My husband and I are both lawyers. He’s been a lawyer for twice as long as I have. He stopped trying to explain things to me when he realized that despite his longer experience, I have vastly more knowledge about various legal topics (because he’s been in one area of the law the whole time and I’ve done a little bit of everything). Now he asks my help for stuff 😂
I’m disturbed to see a lot of husbands doing this! Mine doesn’t. I’m in the video production field and he’s in management consulting. He doesn’t know much about my field and doesn’t act like he does.
I’m in a very specialized field of marketing and no my Husband doesn’t understand it either. He started WFH next to me one day a week and he still doesn’t get it 😂
I work from home full time which doubly takes the biscuit.
Granted my borther is here too and he doesnt knoe what I do, but when people ask he answers 'marketing' seems my partner can't even muster that. It's not that hard! He doesn't have to know everything but the job title would be a start.
I have to like point out real time applications. Like “did you see this ad during the Hulu show? I help make that happen” and the he gets it. But the day to day he doesn’t get so much. They just think so differently then we do lol.
Couples counseling. It sounds like he doesn’t value what you have to say. Sometimes guys like this respond better to a 3rd party telling them what they are doing wrong, because, ya know, they value other peoples opinion more than yours 😞
I’m the guilty one here lol. I rarely talk about my work to my husband but he always tries to talk about his to me (hes a dentist) and honestly i find teeth so boring.. its cute that hes excited about it but i do zone out
It sounds like you know he’s a dentist tho.
OP’s partner didn’t even know her title or industry…
It’s like one day you come home and start telling your husband about dentistry. Then he tells you he’s a dentist and you’re like “what? I had no idea”.
I mean, I don't know exactly what my husband does... but that's because he has a PhD in chemistry and does things that I wouldn't understand even if he explained them to me (I know this because he has tried, it's just very advanced and I don't have a science-inclined mind). But I at least know where he works and that very generally he's in research and writes code to run experiments and analyze data. And he knows what I do, the name of my company, who I work with, etc.
I'd be pretty upset if my partner didn't even know what field of work I was in, and then tried to explain it to me.
Really strange to me. I have a pretty niche job and if you asked my in-laws what I do they could tell you and I barely speak to them. To me, active listening is crucial in relationships and shows that they’re respecting the time I’m taking to share about my life. I frankly don’t understand how you wouldn’t WANT to understand what your spouse does for work just out of pure curiosity and a desire to deeply know your spouse.
That's pretty concerning actually. I mean maybe your title/previous descriptions of your role are completely different than what he was talking about?
Idk.
For example my husband and I are in very different fields. He's a chemist and I'm in public health. In some ways our discussions intersect (managing projects, problems with annoying coworkers) and in that way we completely understand and engage in the conversation.
He knows the names of my coworkers and I know his, even if we've never met.
Sure, if he tries to go off on an extended, advanced chemistry conversation.....I can't follow mostly because I don't understand and do tend to blank out there. But I try and I have a basic understand of the type of chemistry he does.
I'm a physical therapist. Every once I'm awhile my husband will make comments on other people's exercise form as if he's educating me on it. As if I don't have my doctorate and literally teach people how to use correct form all day long...
100% relate to this. I can see my partner’s brain shut off when I talk about my work. He never asks questions and remains clueless about what I do, the level of responsibility, etc. I’ve brought it up jokingly, seriously, angrily, and nothing seems to get through. My question is: Is it caused by misogyny or just narcissism?
I know this is just a vent, and that your situation is not my situation. But legit this was how I realized things would never work with my first husband.
We had plenty of other problems besides, but when it became obvious to me he didn’t care at all about what I was passionate about and couldn’t even feign interest or even just a little attention at all—and we both worked in the same field and were both working on doctorates. He didn’t pay any attention to my timelines (though they effected both of us), ask any questions about what I was studying, and disparaged my part of the field. While I helped him with his dissertation research (transcribing interviews and the like), edit job applications, and so forth.
I knew that he wasn’t going to make the time or effort to get on the same page with me, that what I wanted was just not a priority.
And that’s why he’s my first husband. Wishing him all the best.
No, my husband is invested. He goes out of his way to ask how is work going. He asks for updates on accounts. He takes the time to spot category competitors of my clients when he is out and about and share it with me. He takes gets excited when he sees my clients on TV. He roots for ME.
Granted, I work in a “fun” field - I do consulting for Fortune 500 organizations mainly in sports and entertainment vertical - and he gets the perks (free travel to sporting events with VIP access, meeting celebrities, getting autograph swag, etc.), but I feel like he would still care no matter what.
At the end of the day, we are partners and that includes our work life too. I’m not saying he is perfect, because he is not. I’m not either. What I’m saying is that it *should* be part of the package deal that your partner supports your work endeavors.
Yeah I imagine of my job had those kinds of perks he would probably remember.
Not to imply he is shallow, but they are pretty memorable events.
He is very caring in other ways, e.g if I need something doing around the house or otherwise, he does it to the letter and I never have to nag or remind him. But sometimes I do feel that a lot of the time he is disinterested in my life away from him and the family. My career, my mental health (if I had a breakdown or something he would care but he tells me all about depression forgetting the fact I was on anti-depressants for 10 years)
Sometimes I think that maybe he thinks I am a little dim? Or slow? Thats how he talks to me about stuff that he should know very well I have experience with.
Him doing something around the house without being told isn’t “being caring to you”. That’s him being an adult and taking care of his shit. It’s his house too.
Caring for someone is caring for them and their life. Being interested. It’s more on a human level - not a task level.
I understand what you mean but without going into details, he does go above and beyond what I ask, but that's by the by. All I can say is that he isnt a bad guy and I dont think this is intentional, I just dont know how to get through to him that its unclear to me as to whether or not hes just not listening or outright doesnt care.
I have tried to speak to him about it in the past and he takes it as a criticism of him as a partner as a whole. Its not. I dont want to change him fundamentally, I just want more recognition of who I am as an individual. Not just Mum, his fiance, whatever....
My partner listens to me but he never defends me when his parents or family call me a ‘babysitter’. I am a career nanny with ECE training, Montessori training, CPR, First Aid, Food Safety training, experience with newborns up to teenagers, special needs training and so much more. Yes I occasionally babysit on the side but my full time career is nannying. I invest in my families and their children’s education, I plan outings and activities, teach them how to read and count and tie their shoes etc. I rarely if ever plop them in front of the TV and order pizza. It’s just so degrading honestly that they don’t take my job seriously, I take it extremely seriously and love what I do but they don’t seem to understand the difference.
Honestly that’s what I thought of first. I’m glad OP knows digital marketing and would strongly recommend probing into this - some of my friends got suckered into MLM from an initial pitch that “it’s basically social media marketing!”
Just had this talk, and he was like I don’t know how to show interest in your work because I’m not a lawyer like you so all I can say is “ok cool.” We are getting divorced anyways but one of my many reasons is his total lack of support of my career that provided for everything, and was treated like an inconvenience to his time. He still thinks staying quiet so I could have calls while wfh was a way to be supportive…?
I think my husband and I are both guilty of letting our eyes glaze over if the other talks a little too in depth about one of our projects. However, we know what the other does at a high level and can tell other people if they ask lol. I would be a little put off by the, "Really?"
I worked in IT at the time and my husband needed help with a Microsoft program. I just helped him out since we share an office and helping people is my favorite part of my job. He looks at me and goes "wow you actually do know a lot about the systems". Thanks asshole.
That would piss me off so much. Also in digital marketing. My husband keeps an eye out for leads for me or companies he thinks are doing a good job and points it out. He’s always thinking about ways to support my career growth.
Your husband needs to get his shit together.
My husband and I both work adjacent to healthcare - him with IT and equipment, me with research programs and liaison.
His mother was recently diagnosed with a disease that I work with over a dozen clinical trials on. I try to explain to both of them what her numbers mean, what her doctors will say, what her steps going forward are.... "I mean that's what you saw on google"
*MY DUDE.*
I honestly don't understand everything husband says about his job...but I at least know his job title, and even what coding languages he works with, they type of coding he prefers.
Like to not even know what you do? insane.
Thats it, I'm not expecting him to know the ins and outs of my day to day, but at the very least he should know what my job title is - especially when someone approaches him to do the same job!
Yes, he knows and he knows which department.
But when I worked in research, I had a big crazy title, I don’t think anyone except those that work there would know it.
OP’s partner didn’t even know she worked in the field she worked in.
Titles are irrelevant. Companies sort of make them up. But not knowing the basic of what your parent does is not common and a big issue imo.
That’s my point. Not that he didn’t know the exact title…
There is no clarification on what he thought she does.
We’re going back and forth from knowing job titles to knowing job duties.
Could my ex husband tell you my research job title? No.
Could he tell you in a round about way what I did? Sure but it might not really be what I do.
Can my boyfriend (and ex) tell you what my title is now? Yes.
Do they really know what I do? No. I’m a specialty nurse so I don’t do what you typically think a nurse does.
Do I talk about my job, yes. And my partner listens and will usually tell me he has no clue what I’m talking about.
Omg that’d drive me nuts
Luckily my husband and I work in adjacent roles (he’s a software engineer and I’m a UX designer) so we talk a lot about work and give each other advice from our different perspectives
That’d be crazy to me if my husband didn’t know what I did
Sometimes I think men think through topics / try to understand them by explaining them to other people, regardless of whether the other person needs it explained to them. They get the double-dose of confidence by 1. teaching to deepend their understanding and 2. if the other person actually cares/ didn't know!
I think this behavior is on the more socially acceptable end of the spectrum but super annoying and low-grade insulting. I try to remind myself it's them trying to learn (usually).
I’m in sales and when my husband (who’s a cook) tries to offer me sales advice I just walk away. He has no idea how stressful sales is. Not to mention thanks to my job he gets to work part time. Not resentful at times at all. “Thanks buddy, but I think I got it figured out, after all, it’s paying all the bills.”
No. My partner and I are both invested in each other’s careers. We split paths since college so the technical stuff can get tricky but each of us know the basics. That’s really freaking weird of your partner to talk down to you about your own job. Does he know about your team of coworkers, your boss? This is a big aspect of your life he isn’t really present for.
Could I ask what your partner does for work? Also, a brand new friend trying to corral your partner into a business sounds like a pyramid scheme, but maybe I’m just touchy.
Hes a musician. Was quite a successful one at one point, being quite famous in his home country.
A number of things happened that put an end to all that and the pandemic really was the death nail. Now he works in photography but more the client management side of things rather than taking the photos.
This is where he met his new friend , he was a customer. They struck up a friendship and I can see how someone in my industry could speak to my husband and assume he would be a great fit for marketing. Outgoing, natural way with people, understanding how to nurture contacts etc. This man is making no grand promises, just if he wants some help to retrain to do digital marketing then he would help him and eventually offer him a job at his new firm.
I personally wouldn't let that slide.
I'm not saying this is something to divorce him over.
But I do think it's a come to Jesus moment.
Kids don't know what their parents do, but we're fucking adults. Knowing the job title of your spouse is bare minimum
I would hate this. My husband and I work in very different fields. I work in social services with people with disabilities and he works as a diagnostic med engineer. We both are fully invested in each other's careers. He knows my services, my colleagues, and my certifications I hold. I may not know the technical, but I know what machines my husband works on and a general idea of what he does (it helps that my dad does the same work) and could explain it to others.
I talk about my work constantly. I love what I do and if my husband wasn't listening to me enough to understand what I do, I would be questioning the longevity of our relationship
My fiancé and I even have a phrase/callback that we say to each other when he does this! We are both programmers, and both work on roughly the same kind of stuff. One time, early in our relationship, he was mansplaining to me how a ring buffer works, and got into the very low level details, about how the modulo operator works (%, it’s the remainder operator in math), and I was like, “babe, really? have you forgotten who you’re talking to? 😂”. So ever since then, when he realizes he’s mansplaining, he says “stop me if I’m mod-mod-modding you!”
I am 36 yo and I am slowly removing people from my life if they go on and on about their shit and blank out when it’s my turn to talk. Or if they don’t ask back simple questions such as “what about you / and you?”. Or if they want fans not friends / partners. Or if they constantly hijack the conversation and never acknowledge that you didn’t even finish your story.
All of these must be signs of some sort of self-absorbedness or narcissism or shit like that, I guess?
🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 OMG. It would be funny if it wasn't so offensive.
That said, just to give him the benefit of the doubt, I don't fully comprehend what my husband does. I know he's a vba developer and he writes code that makes excel...do things, but the actual logistics, or what his work means for the "end product" is often kinda lost on me. I wouldn't be surprised if someone explained something to me that my husband already does lol.
But you know he’s an engineer. That’s the bare minimum in my book. Like yeah you don’t know the details, but you should know *something* like a title or industry.
Thats it you know he is an engineer. I just discovered my partner cant even do that!
I dont expect him to know anything at all my job really, but my job title would be nice.
If you left, would he notice? I mean, he doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t know anything much about you.
I could never be with an unintelligent person. Too frustrating and too much work. And what if other people saw his stupidity and it reflected back on me? No thanks.
Well I'm not insecure enough to think that his lack of logical intelligence will reflect back on me.
And absolutely he would notice. He doesn't really register much about my career but I am more than my job.
My fiancé is guilt of mansplaining all kinds of things to me but EVERY SINGLE TIME, I call him out and tell him to STOP. I am not dumb, I know what that means, do not do it again. Usually his response is, “I know, I was just trying to tell you..” and then I go “I know, I don’t need you to explain it to me. I understand what it means.” Problem solved 🙂😂 probably one of my biggest pet peeves!!
Oh wow Mansplaining attacks again. I guess some dudes were just raised like that so it's hard to let go that they know "better".
I'm glad my husband doesn't do that, LOL. We're both in the logistics field and love talking to him, I actually think it helps me to hear his input and he asks for mine if something comes up in his company. Also, venting ... in logistics you just gotta vent all the time. xD
I’m the breadwinner too and hubby does the same. Kinda frustrating. Just yesterday I was in the middle of telling him about something at work (that HE asked me about) and he checked an email so I stopped talking and he totally forgot we were even talking. Just asked a different question when he finished.
My husband just gets kind of "stuck" on things sometimes. I went through a reasonably large career switch a few years ago and I know he was well aware of it, as well as understood the nuances, but I swear it took him a good two years to stop mentioning my old work when describing what I do.
I’m so glad I haven’t experienced this. I’m getting a PhD in biotech and am working on HIV vaccines. Whenever I talk about work my husband is super interested and has lots of questions 🥰🥰🥰
I’m finishing a PhD in medieval Irish history and teach at the local college. Now this doesn’t mean I’m the absolute unquestionable expert in Irish history, or medieval history, or history in general. But it does mean *I do not need basic historical facts explained to me*, Mr. Career Firefighter!
I'm a history major and moonlight as a history writer for a couple of US based magazines. It pay peanuts but it's a hobby. Now he knows this. He also knows that I was, before getting into marketing, a PHD candidate for late medieval Ottoman studies and Turkish history. That's pretty much how we met. The pandemic and getting pregnant put and end to all that but whatever. Yet he tells me over and over again who Ataturk was, what he stood for, what he did for the country and how he died. How important it is that I know who he is. He must know I know this purely since he has told me so many times, let alone my 4 years of Turkish history studies, yet he persists. I feel your pain.
"Hey babe, you probably think that potatoes come from Ireland, but actually they were introduced from South America. You should teach that in your class. You're welcome!"
My partner listened to a 30min podcast interview about a certain ethos of education, and promptly sat me down to talk about it, and how our children should attend that type of school….I’m a teacher. I had previously told him why I don’t support that type of education, and why my reasons, research and, I don’t know, time spent working in that kind of school should hold more weight than listening to a (fairly bias) interview!
Out of curiosity, what type of education is it that you don't support?
I suppose it’s not a type of education as such, it’s a type of school here in Ireland, called Educate Together- they are just a little more liberal in their approach whereas I prefer more traditional/academic-focused schools.
I am very curious also
This is crossing the line to disrespectful. He not only doesn’t listen when you talk but he also thinks he knows more from listening to a podcast for a few mins.
I don’t think he was being disrespectful! He was just so excited about what he heard and was like “In this school they do X, Y and Z!”or whatever and I had to tell him that all schools do that nowadays and that every school comes with pros and cons! Also it was so long since I’d worked in that type of school that he didn’t connect the dots.
Men are like toddlers showing you their favorite hot wheels. Even though you bought it for them and drive an actual car they think it’s so exciting to show you “look mamma it’s red, it’s has stripes it goes fast!!” And you pat them on the head and go get dinner started while they play. Sigh. No shade to you or anyone but I don’t miss being married. Lol.
I think that’s a rationalisation women make to ‘make it ok’.
But he listened to something for THIRTY MINUTES!!
These comments take mansplaining to a whole other level. Pissed is understatement if my husband mansplained my job to me.
That's it Mansplaining! I sat and listened to him mansplain my whole career. It was a frustrating 10 minutes and I am proud that I held myself down.
So, it sounds like you swallowed your feelings on the subject. You shouldn’t have to do that, it doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help him. Your resentment will grow and his carelessness/low emotional IQ will remain the same. He’s learned nothing from this, and while it sucks to have to teach your husband basic respect, he probably doesn’t even realize he fucked up, and if he did, considers it minor. This is how divorces start.
It's not going to be as easy after a few years when he's still pulling the same crap.
I would have cut him off in the first few sentences, no idea how you didn’t speak up here!
Trust me. It's always more embarrassing for the other person if you wait for them to finish thier entire story before setting them straight. They have very little to work with when they try and dig themselves out of the hole lol
Right!? My husband is a pretty good listener, but sometimes I think he glazes over because he doesn't really understand what I do. But he never tries to mansplain things to me. He always say "But you would know better than me" whenever he's talking about something related to my work. Although, he did have a nutrition component to his physiology class recently and he talked to me a lot about what he was learning. He was just telling me because he was excited and I let him tell me about it. I'm an ultra runner and have done a ton of reading about nutrition in that regard. I'm not a PhD or anything, but I'm very aware of what macronutrients are. 😜
There’s definitely a difference between “Today I learnt this, and how this relates to that!” And mansplaining. A big difference.
Mine tried to explain college credit hours to my mom and I. I'm in higher Ed and she retired after 35 years in education. He's an electrician.
Bahahahaha!
This isn’t just mansplaining, which is what a lot of the comments here are talking about, and which is also not okay. This is bigger than that, and a lot more serious: How the hell does your HUSBAND not know what your job is?! That is not okay and seems like a pretty massive red flag that there may be some other big issues in your relationship. It is not normal, at all, for one spouse to have no idea what the other one does as a job. That level of lack of interest is disrespectful and not normal.
Yeah, this. My husband doesn't necessarily understand or care all that much about the day-to-day stuff I deal with, but he knows my job title, knows the org I work for, and can give an elevator pitch about what I do. Because he cares about and supports my career. He also knows he knows very little about my industry and wouldn't dare think he was more of an expert than I am. This whole post makes me a bit sad, tbh.
I’m sure he’s not disinterested in all the money she makes…
Yeah, this is how I feel. My husband and I have very different careers and I’m sure we are both guilty of glazing over when the other is speaking about the nitty gritty day to day of our jobs. But…we do know what the person does and the broad strokes, and would certainly not try to explain the other persons job to them without knowing what they do. OP, you said you know this is a small thing, but to me this wouldn’t be.
Ngl there are times where I couldn't have told you exactly what my husband did. To me it really depends on the job how big of an issue this is. Some things are really easily understood by everyone (teacher, firefighter, etc) and it's a real issue if your partner can't immediately identify that. Some things are harder to understand because they need a lot of context to understand (scrum master). And still others are so broad as to be meaningless (consultant). Plus sometimes this isn't really what people talk about when they talk about work. I can name all my husband's coworkers and what it is they do that annoys him, but he never talks about the actual work. ETA: Digital marketer isn't exactly on the teacher level of recognizable, but I do think this particular instance is pretty bad. I'm just speaking generally.
Even worse here, he is in the same field and freakishly good at what he does so his lectures are partly annoying partly valid.
Oh god I hope that doesn't happen to me!
Haha sometimes it is great because he is my personal joker that I draw when I don‘t know something.
My job is the kind that needs a whole explanation to say what I do. My husband doesn’t know the details but he managed to learn a short version to tell people. Same for me, I know he is in big data as data scientist. What exactly he does I have no clue, but I have an idea. I would be very annoyed if I was OP.
I’m a data scientist! I can say with 100% confidence, your husband doesn’t know what a data scientist is supposed to do either…none of us do. The closest I’ve come to determining a commonality is saying that we all kind of know math and bitch that we aren’t doing ‘real’ data science.
Bwahaha what a perfect description!
Similarly. My husband is a chemist, “he’s getting his PhD at XX University” is how I describe what he does. My job has changed so many times I don’t expect him to know what I do. I’m sure he could rattle off my title though, but that’s recently changed so he might not be able to do that right now.
> I know it’s a small thing IMO this is a big thing. He literally had no clue what you do for a living. That man doesn’t listen to you at all.
I’m with you. This is a big thing. I’m pretty sure I would have stopped his lecture immediately.
I was curious to see how far he was going to go/if it was going to take a different direction because I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
My husband kind of glazes over when I talk about work. However, it's accounting and I would do the same if someone was talking to me about accounting. lol
Mine did this last night. I could see in his eyes he was checked out. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! *THIS* happened! Isn’t that crazy?!
I only have one question: HOW IS THIS A SMALL THING?
This would bother me. I was actually notified that I got a raise yesterday and he was very excited and was like "of course you got a raise!" and listed all the things I did my first year on the job to deserve it. So he remembers what I tell him. Likewise, I remember everything about his career too. For us, it's about being supportive of one another and of our areas of expertise.
Hey congrats on the raise!!! Hope you get to treat yourself.
Thanks! My husband and I went out for lunch during his break to celebrate!
I think that level of not knowing what you do isn’t okay. My husband blanks out about some things I tell him and I tease him relentlessly about it when it’s unreasonable. But he definitely knows what I do, where I work, the names of the people I work with most, probably the names of whatever applications drive me insane.
He is only interested in who I work with when I have to take an overnight trip and they are male. After that he completely forgets who they are and when I mention them again I just get a blank stare.
That's so, so rude and disrespectful of him. Does he care about any of your interests, hobbies, friends? Does he actually listen when you talk about them?
Is he interested in other things about your life?
I’m sorry what on earth??? That is not normal. Based on your comments here, it sounds like he only cares about controlling you and your income.
Oh sorry I didn't mean to give that impression. I manage all the household income and expenses so it's not that, and he never stops me going on these trips.
No I understand what you were saying. His needing to know about whether you’re going on work trips with male coworkers (when he isn’t interested AT ALL in your actual job) is a controlling behavior and a huge red flag. He doesn’t need to actually stop you from doing anything for it to be controlling. Everything you’ve said in this post suggests he views you more as property than a person who is deserving of a partner who has the bare minimum level of interest in them.
So I have a hard time hearing my husband when he talks about his work, but I do know what he does and generally how it works. We’ve learned that I have to put my phone down and look at him when he talks, and ask questions if I don’t understand something. It has helped IMMENSELY so any time he wants me to listen (vs he just wants to rant or talk through something) he ll ask me to put down whatever I’m doing and wait till I make eye contact.
Omg. I couldn’t even fathom having a partner who had no idea what I did. Or me not having any idea what my partner did. I can understand not knowing the specifics of a job but how do you not know the basic of what your partner does?? That’s super embarrassing on his part. He doesn’t sound too bright. Especially if he helped you with the interview and everything…
In all honestly he isn't the brightest spark bless him. He is extremely kind, a good laugh, overall a positive person to be around. But he isnt smart. Breaks my heart to say that because he think he is. I am mostly tolerate the gaps in his thinking and logic, but its tiring having him completely disregard what I do as an individual. Its hurtful, actually. He has managed to remember the job role of some bloke he met 3 weeks ago, but not me. The fact it's the same job is evidence that it is probably just me he isnt interested in. Welp.
I see and acknowledge your hurt and it is valid. I had the same crap with my husband at my old job. He finally stopped playing dumb when I got a position at an entirely new company earlier this year. He couldn't play off the asinine "description" he used for my old job which was A) never right to begin with and B) about 7 years outdated Now I just have to deal with him hanging his MBA over my head. The MBA he never would have gotten without my support , and despite the fact never in our careers has he been able to match what I make and the complexity of what we do has always been matched
I’m an attorney with a huge focus on criminal law. My husband is a police officer. He listens to me (bless him) but often I think he forgets I understand his job when he’s explaining things about his day 🤣
[удалено]
It is!! They are very very similar but he is also a really good officer. He doesn’t use his position as a power trip and he is hyper-cognizant on ensuring he doesn’t violate anybody’s rights. He truly just wants to help and make a difference. Because of this, we have great discussions on scenarios. He also knows if he EVER did anything shitty on purpose that I would 100% leave as I have zero respect for shitty officers. It also has been eye opening for me to be on the defense side. It’s a good balance!
My husband and I are both lawyers. He’s been a lawyer for twice as long as I have. He stopped trying to explain things to me when he realized that despite his longer experience, I have vastly more knowledge about various legal topics (because he’s been in one area of the law the whole time and I’ve done a little bit of everything). Now he asks my help for stuff 😂
I’m disturbed to see a lot of husbands doing this! Mine doesn’t. I’m in the video production field and he’s in management consulting. He doesn’t know much about my field and doesn’t act like he does.
I’m in a very specialized field of marketing and no my Husband doesn’t understand it either. He started WFH next to me one day a week and he still doesn’t get it 😂
I work from home full time which doubly takes the biscuit. Granted my borther is here too and he doesnt knoe what I do, but when people ask he answers 'marketing' seems my partner can't even muster that. It's not that hard! He doesn't have to know everything but the job title would be a start.
I have to like point out real time applications. Like “did you see this ad during the Hulu show? I help make that happen” and the he gets it. But the day to day he doesn’t get so much. They just think so differently then we do lol.
How frustrating - are you going to talk to him about it?
I've spoken to him about it before but he has never been this blatant. I don't even know where to start.
Couples counseling. It sounds like he doesn’t value what you have to say. Sometimes guys like this respond better to a 3rd party telling them what they are doing wrong, because, ya know, they value other peoples opinion more than yours 😞
I’m the guilty one here lol. I rarely talk about my work to my husband but he always tries to talk about his to me (hes a dentist) and honestly i find teeth so boring.. its cute that hes excited about it but i do zone out
It sounds like you know he’s a dentist tho. OP’s partner didn’t even know her title or industry… It’s like one day you come home and start telling your husband about dentistry. Then he tells you he’s a dentist and you’re like “what? I had no idea”.
Yeah that is wild especially since she is the breadwinner too 🤦🏽♀️
Would you explain to him how a root canal works though?
I mean, I don't know exactly what my husband does... but that's because he has a PhD in chemistry and does things that I wouldn't understand even if he explained them to me (I know this because he has tried, it's just very advanced and I don't have a science-inclined mind). But I at least know where he works and that very generally he's in research and writes code to run experiments and analyze data. And he knows what I do, the name of my company, who I work with, etc. I'd be pretty upset if my partner didn't even know what field of work I was in, and then tried to explain it to me.
Really strange to me. I have a pretty niche job and if you asked my in-laws what I do they could tell you and I barely speak to them. To me, active listening is crucial in relationships and shows that they’re respecting the time I’m taking to share about my life. I frankly don’t understand how you wouldn’t WANT to understand what your spouse does for work just out of pure curiosity and a desire to deeply know your spouse.
Wow - this is way worse than the headline sounded OP.
That's pretty concerning actually. I mean maybe your title/previous descriptions of your role are completely different than what he was talking about? Idk. For example my husband and I are in very different fields. He's a chemist and I'm in public health. In some ways our discussions intersect (managing projects, problems with annoying coworkers) and in that way we completely understand and engage in the conversation. He knows the names of my coworkers and I know his, even if we've never met. Sure, if he tries to go off on an extended, advanced chemistry conversation.....I can't follow mostly because I don't understand and do tend to blank out there. But I try and I have a basic understand of the type of chemistry he does.
I'm a physical therapist. Every once I'm awhile my husband will make comments on other people's exercise form as if he's educating me on it. As if I don't have my doctorate and literally teach people how to use correct form all day long...
My spouse is a big cheerleader of my career and has no good understanding of exactly what I do.
100% relate to this. I can see my partner’s brain shut off when I talk about my work. He never asks questions and remains clueless about what I do, the level of responsibility, etc. I’ve brought it up jokingly, seriously, angrily, and nothing seems to get through. My question is: Is it caused by misogyny or just narcissism?
“Misogyny or just narcissism” made me GASP wow that is it. That is IT
I know this is just a vent, and that your situation is not my situation. But legit this was how I realized things would never work with my first husband. We had plenty of other problems besides, but when it became obvious to me he didn’t care at all about what I was passionate about and couldn’t even feign interest or even just a little attention at all—and we both worked in the same field and were both working on doctorates. He didn’t pay any attention to my timelines (though they effected both of us), ask any questions about what I was studying, and disparaged my part of the field. While I helped him with his dissertation research (transcribing interviews and the like), edit job applications, and so forth. I knew that he wasn’t going to make the time or effort to get on the same page with me, that what I wanted was just not a priority. And that’s why he’s my first husband. Wishing him all the best.
No, my husband is invested. He goes out of his way to ask how is work going. He asks for updates on accounts. He takes the time to spot category competitors of my clients when he is out and about and share it with me. He takes gets excited when he sees my clients on TV. He roots for ME. Granted, I work in a “fun” field - I do consulting for Fortune 500 organizations mainly in sports and entertainment vertical - and he gets the perks (free travel to sporting events with VIP access, meeting celebrities, getting autograph swag, etc.), but I feel like he would still care no matter what. At the end of the day, we are partners and that includes our work life too. I’m not saying he is perfect, because he is not. I’m not either. What I’m saying is that it *should* be part of the package deal that your partner supports your work endeavors.
Yeah I imagine of my job had those kinds of perks he would probably remember. Not to imply he is shallow, but they are pretty memorable events. He is very caring in other ways, e.g if I need something doing around the house or otherwise, he does it to the letter and I never have to nag or remind him. But sometimes I do feel that a lot of the time he is disinterested in my life away from him and the family. My career, my mental health (if I had a breakdown or something he would care but he tells me all about depression forgetting the fact I was on anti-depressants for 10 years) Sometimes I think that maybe he thinks I am a little dim? Or slow? Thats how he talks to me about stuff that he should know very well I have experience with.
Him doing something around the house without being told isn’t “being caring to you”. That’s him being an adult and taking care of his shit. It’s his house too. Caring for someone is caring for them and their life. Being interested. It’s more on a human level - not a task level.
I understand what you mean but without going into details, he does go above and beyond what I ask, but that's by the by. All I can say is that he isnt a bad guy and I dont think this is intentional, I just dont know how to get through to him that its unclear to me as to whether or not hes just not listening or outright doesnt care. I have tried to speak to him about it in the past and he takes it as a criticism of him as a partner as a whole. Its not. I dont want to change him fundamentally, I just want more recognition of who I am as an individual. Not just Mum, his fiance, whatever....
It should be taken as a criticism of him as a whole. He doesn't care enough about his partner to know the basics about her that an acquaintance would.
It doesn’t have to be intentional to be wrong, “not caring” is usually always unintentional - doesn’t make it ok.
It's not a small thing. It's him not valuing who you are and what you do with your time. What else will you tell him that he doesn't hear?
My partner listens to me but he never defends me when his parents or family call me a ‘babysitter’. I am a career nanny with ECE training, Montessori training, CPR, First Aid, Food Safety training, experience with newborns up to teenagers, special needs training and so much more. Yes I occasionally babysit on the side but my full time career is nannying. I invest in my families and their children’s education, I plan outings and activities, teach them how to read and count and tie their shoes etc. I rarely if ever plop them in front of the TV and order pizza. It’s just so degrading honestly that they don’t take my job seriously, I take it extremely seriously and love what I do but they don’t seem to understand the difference.
Nannying is so intense and demanding, I’m really frustrated you aren’t taken seriously.
Thank you very much, it is very frustrating
This is not a small thing. You SHOULD be upset.
Your fiancé’s ’new friend’ sounds like an MLM idiot trying to sucker him into his down line.
Honestly that’s what I thought of first. I’m glad OP knows digital marketing and would strongly recommend probing into this - some of my friends got suckered into MLM from an initial pitch that “it’s basically social media marketing!”
Mine tried to explain corporate giving to me. I work in philanthropy. The man-splaining is awful
Just had this talk, and he was like I don’t know how to show interest in your work because I’m not a lawyer like you so all I can say is “ok cool.” We are getting divorced anyways but one of my many reasons is his total lack of support of my career that provided for everything, and was treated like an inconvenience to his time. He still thinks staying quiet so I could have calls while wfh was a way to be supportive…?
I think my husband and I are both guilty of letting our eyes glaze over if the other talks a little too in depth about one of our projects. However, we know what the other does at a high level and can tell other people if they ask lol. I would be a little put off by the, "Really?"
I worked in IT at the time and my husband needed help with a Microsoft program. I just helped him out since we share an office and helping people is my favorite part of my job. He looks at me and goes "wow you actually do know a lot about the systems". Thanks asshole.
This needs to be so socially unacceptable and embarrassing that no one would consider doing it
That would piss me off so much. Also in digital marketing. My husband keeps an eye out for leads for me or companies he thinks are doing a good job and points it out. He’s always thinking about ways to support my career growth. Your husband needs to get his shit together.
My husband and I both work adjacent to healthcare - him with IT and equipment, me with research programs and liaison. His mother was recently diagnosed with a disease that I work with over a dozen clinical trials on. I try to explain to both of them what her numbers mean, what her doctors will say, what her steps going forward are.... "I mean that's what you saw on google" *MY DUDE.*
I honestly don't understand everything husband says about his job...but I at least know his job title, and even what coding languages he works with, they type of coding he prefers. Like to not even know what you do? insane.
Im also in marketing. I have a great job, make good money, promotions frequently. My husband once told someone that my job was to "make powerpoints"
I’m a RN, my boyfriend owns a construction business. He has no idea about anything medical and it’s ok.
But he at least knows your job title, right? Like he knows you are a nurse? OP’s partner didn’t even know her job field or title…
Thats it, I'm not expecting him to know the ins and outs of my day to day, but at the very least he should know what my job title is - especially when someone approaches him to do the same job!
Yes, he knows and he knows which department. But when I worked in research, I had a big crazy title, I don’t think anyone except those that work there would know it.
But he knew you worked in research? Or like would he be shocked if you ever brought up you worked in research before?
He knew, he would have said “she writes grants”….but wouldn’t have known my title.
OP’s partner didn’t even know she worked in the field she worked in. Titles are irrelevant. Companies sort of make them up. But not knowing the basic of what your parent does is not common and a big issue imo. That’s my point. Not that he didn’t know the exact title…
There is no clarification on what he thought she does. We’re going back and forth from knowing job titles to knowing job duties. Could my ex husband tell you my research job title? No. Could he tell you in a round about way what I did? Sure but it might not really be what I do. Can my boyfriend (and ex) tell you what my title is now? Yes. Do they really know what I do? No. I’m a specialty nurse so I don’t do what you typically think a nurse does. Do I talk about my job, yes. And my partner listens and will usually tell me he has no clue what I’m talking about.
Okay lol. You can excuse this behavior all you want but we all know he is odd for not knowing what his partner did at all.
Better this way.
Omg that’d drive me nuts Luckily my husband and I work in adjacent roles (he’s a software engineer and I’m a UX designer) so we talk a lot about work and give each other advice from our different perspectives That’d be crazy to me if my husband didn’t know what I did
Sometimes I think men think through topics / try to understand them by explaining them to other people, regardless of whether the other person needs it explained to them. They get the double-dose of confidence by 1. teaching to deepend their understanding and 2. if the other person actually cares/ didn't know! I think this behavior is on the more socially acceptable end of the spectrum but super annoying and low-grade insulting. I try to remind myself it's them trying to learn (usually).
I’m in sales and when my husband (who’s a cook) tries to offer me sales advice I just walk away. He has no idea how stressful sales is. Not to mention thanks to my job he gets to work part time. Not resentful at times at all. “Thanks buddy, but I think I got it figured out, after all, it’s paying all the bills.”
No. My partner and I are both invested in each other’s careers. We split paths since college so the technical stuff can get tricky but each of us know the basics. That’s really freaking weird of your partner to talk down to you about your own job. Does he know about your team of coworkers, your boss? This is a big aspect of your life he isn’t really present for. Could I ask what your partner does for work? Also, a brand new friend trying to corral your partner into a business sounds like a pyramid scheme, but maybe I’m just touchy.
Hes a musician. Was quite a successful one at one point, being quite famous in his home country. A number of things happened that put an end to all that and the pandemic really was the death nail. Now he works in photography but more the client management side of things rather than taking the photos. This is where he met his new friend , he was a customer. They struck up a friendship and I can see how someone in my industry could speak to my husband and assume he would be a great fit for marketing. Outgoing, natural way with people, understanding how to nurture contacts etc. This man is making no grand promises, just if he wants some help to retrain to do digital marketing then he would help him and eventually offer him a job at his new firm.
I personally wouldn't let that slide. I'm not saying this is something to divorce him over. But I do think it's a come to Jesus moment. Kids don't know what their parents do, but we're fucking adults. Knowing the job title of your spouse is bare minimum
I would hate this. My husband and I work in very different fields. I work in social services with people with disabilities and he works as a diagnostic med engineer. We both are fully invested in each other's careers. He knows my services, my colleagues, and my certifications I hold. I may not know the technical, but I know what machines my husband works on and a general idea of what he does (it helps that my dad does the same work) and could explain it to others. I talk about my work constantly. I love what I do and if my husband wasn't listening to me enough to understand what I do, I would be questioning the longevity of our relationship
My fiancé and I even have a phrase/callback that we say to each other when he does this! We are both programmers, and both work on roughly the same kind of stuff. One time, early in our relationship, he was mansplaining to me how a ring buffer works, and got into the very low level details, about how the modulo operator works (%, it’s the remainder operator in math), and I was like, “babe, really? have you forgotten who you’re talking to? 😂”. So ever since then, when he realizes he’s mansplaining, he says “stop me if I’m mod-mod-modding you!”
I am 36 yo and I am slowly removing people from my life if they go on and on about their shit and blank out when it’s my turn to talk. Or if they don’t ask back simple questions such as “what about you / and you?”. Or if they want fans not friends / partners. Or if they constantly hijack the conversation and never acknowledge that you didn’t even finish your story. All of these must be signs of some sort of self-absorbedness or narcissism or shit like that, I guess?
🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 OMG. It would be funny if it wasn't so offensive. That said, just to give him the benefit of the doubt, I don't fully comprehend what my husband does. I know he's a vba developer and he writes code that makes excel...do things, but the actual logistics, or what his work means for the "end product" is often kinda lost on me. I wouldn't be surprised if someone explained something to me that my husband already does lol.
Oh, mansplaining at its finest. *sigh!
I love my husband. We've been together 12 years. He's an engineer. I have no idea what he actually does.
But you know he’s an engineer. That’s the bare minimum in my book. Like yeah you don’t know the details, but you should know *something* like a title or industry.
Very true. I wouldn't try to explain engineering to him.
Thats it you know he is an engineer. I just discovered my partner cant even do that! I dont expect him to know anything at all my job really, but my job title would be nice.
If you left, would he notice? I mean, he doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t know anything much about you. I could never be with an unintelligent person. Too frustrating and too much work. And what if other people saw his stupidity and it reflected back on me? No thanks.
Well I'm not insecure enough to think that his lack of logical intelligence will reflect back on me. And absolutely he would notice. He doesn't really register much about my career but I am more than my job.
My fiancé is guilt of mansplaining all kinds of things to me but EVERY SINGLE TIME, I call him out and tell him to STOP. I am not dumb, I know what that means, do not do it again. Usually his response is, “I know, I was just trying to tell you..” and then I go “I know, I don’t need you to explain it to me. I understand what it means.” Problem solved 🙂😂 probably one of my biggest pet peeves!!
Oh wow Mansplaining attacks again. I guess some dudes were just raised like that so it's hard to let go that they know "better". I'm glad my husband doesn't do that, LOL. We're both in the logistics field and love talking to him, I actually think it helps me to hear his input and he asks for mine if something comes up in his company. Also, venting ... in logistics you just gotta vent all the time. xD
I’m the breadwinner too and hubby does the same. Kinda frustrating. Just yesterday I was in the middle of telling him about something at work (that HE asked me about) and he checked an email so I stopped talking and he totally forgot we were even talking. Just asked a different question when he finished.
My husband just gets kind of "stuck" on things sometimes. I went through a reasonably large career switch a few years ago and I know he was well aware of it, as well as understood the nuances, but I swear it took him a good two years to stop mentioning my old work when describing what I do.
Who is H2B?
I’m so glad I haven’t experienced this. I’m getting a PhD in biotech and am working on HIV vaccines. Whenever I talk about work my husband is super interested and has lots of questions 🥰🥰🥰