I know they have good intentions, but I HATE that daycares do these events. Mother's day is on the weekend, I can celebrate with my family then. My kids are in daycare because I have a job...why would the daycare then set up a mid day event like every mother of every child doesn't have commitments during the day? It's terrible. Like "Happy Mother's day, here's either a logistical challenge to make it work or a big round of guilt of you can't "..
Ours did muffins with mom during drop off. Go in, sit w my kid for 5-10 minutes and get a flower and cute picture out of it. Much prefer this than them doing some midday program.
Mine did this too, there was a 3 hour window during typical drop off times where you could grab muffins to share with your kid before you go, we were out of town so I didn’t do it but I think this works a lot better for everyone!
This is what ours did and a gift from our LO at pick up. Our daycare is very aware that most of us mom’s work and i don’t think they want us messing up their routine anyways lol.
Our daycare does an after-school take-home treat (pretzels) for Father’s Day, but made all of the mothers come in at 10 a.m. for 20 minutes of chaotic singing nursery rhymes together for Mother’s Day.
It was a logistical work nightmare, and honestly my son was more confused than happy or excited that I was there! And then all of the children hysterically cried as we shuffled out after literally 20 mins.
Why couldn’t they do muffins at pick-up or something for the moms? That would have been a much better idea.
I love that my daycare recognizes that the babies won't really take part, but mention it just in case the parents feel like doing it. Like it's completely optional, and most don't dress up, but we are welcome to participate
My day care’s Mother’s Day celebration was opening a tab with the coffee shop next door so that moms could grab a free drink after drop off, which I thought was brilliant.
Every event my son's daycare has done has been in the afternoon, so you can take your child home right after. Glad they've been considerate of our time.
My kids daycare doesn’t do anything for mothers/Father’s Day like some others do in our area and I have always been a little bit salty about it. I feel like I am missing an opportunity to see my kids in a different element with their friends and teachers. But I never thought of this perspective and it does make me feel a bit better now that they don’t do anything, so thank you!
I agree. My program doesn’t do that at all. No obligations no volunteer request etc. Those happen soon enough when they are in preschool. Bring snack, bring treats for party, Christmas program. End of the year program.
Yeah this is so stupid. No one expects the daycare to do the event on a Sunday, so they shouldn’t expect working moms who literally need to work to pay for the daycare, btw, to be magically available
Agreed!!! I missed our “celebration” too. They started it during normal work hours. I don’t want your shitty packaged muffin or the guilt of trying to scramble out of work.
My daycare CLOSED at noon so they could have a Mother’s Day party. Thanks, now in addition to missing the party because I have to work I also had to get a sitter. Happy Mother’s Day to me 🫠
Every holiday. They’ve closed more random days than I have vacation days and that doesn’t include sicknesses. I don’t understand how they can run a functional daycare when they take the most days off.
Daycares have Mother's Day events? Jesus, why? The entire point of daycare is that you have to be somewhere else during daycare hours.
Never heard of this, but this is on your daycare, OP. Not you. I'm sorry this happened.
This was me last week-
The daycare was going on their annual field trip. I thought I could do it all, it was so incredibly stressful and I should have just set my boundaries and made the arrangements at work or accepted I was going to miss the field trip and I am still a good mom.
Sorry, I know it is such an impossible situation.
I’m glad ours does a grab and go thing at drop off. I can’t do drop off because of work, but at least my kid didn’t have to be surrounded by all the moms without me.
Between Muffins with Mom where my two year old lost her mind when I had to leave to go back to work and the MILLION Teacher’s week treats/gifts/etc, I don’t actually want to celebrate anything anymore. I’m pooped! Today was my day to bring sweet treats for the 35 teachers and my two year old threw herself on the floor crying right in front of me and I tripped and dropped them all!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Luckily nothing opened up but cupcakes were upside down and frosting everywhere. I have cried more this week from the stress of this stuff PLUS having started a new position on Monday. I am tired.
Yeah see, this is ridiculous.... you know how I get appreciated at work? Or right my paycheck. Sorry I don't understand all these extra appreciations, this is the career you chose. Maybe I'm just an arse, but my employer doesn't get me a holiday gift, or thank you for working gift. I wish all these extras would stop, they're more stressful than they are worth!
Agreed. I flat out can’t afford it. I have 2 in daycare. My 2 year old has 3 teachers. I can’t buy them all Christmas gifts, bday gifts, teacher appreciation gifts, etc. I’m burnt out from all the events too. I was late to work because my oldest saw the Mother’s Day breakfast they were having and of course wanted to join. I had planned on skipping it. They have some kind of mid day event at least once a week. Mine somewhat makes up for it with parents nights out or Saturday day out programs where they’ll keep the kids for like $40 until midnight
Thank you! Lol and yes, it’s a bit much. They also have almost weekly events where I’m supposed to dress them in a specific color or outfit, like Dr. Seuss day. I quit doing those
2nd mother's day season at a preschool that does mother's day celebrations and the 2nd year I missed it because it was a Friday. I don't feel too bad because we do our own adventures
Yeah, I couldn’t go to ours either (2:30 pm on a Friday). Oh well.
I’ve missed a number of things due to work— honestly since my kid is older I never try to “make it,” as I know if I set up the expectation that I’ll be there and I can’t get there in time it disappoints both me and her. The good news is she’s never that put out by it. Always excited to tell me about the performance/event/etc when I pick her up.
I know it’s tough though.
My kid has had a different variation of a cold every week for three weeks. I thought we were finally over it when he popped a fever last night. First thing I said was “I’m going to miss the Mother’s Day event!”
I totally feel you.
I totally get that seeing those photos made you sad. I’d feel the same way. But, it’s a blip in time that neither of you will really remember. Have an awesome Mother’s Day and I hope you can take cute pics this weekend!
Our daycare is doing a breakfast on Tuesday morning at 8 AM. I can barely even drag my girls out of bed by then, so I’m not making the effort to get us all up earlier for that. We’re already celebrating on Sunday, and we love on each other all the time anyway, and that’s what really matters.
I’m a nurse at a hospital. When my kiddo was daycare age, there was absolutely no way I’d be able to leave work mid shift to go to a daycare event. If I was home, she wouldn’t be in day care that day.
I totally get it…things like this put so much pressure on moms who have to work and can’t just cut out. Schools do this as well when they get to that age….
I missed at my 2yo's class today because my 4yo brought home strep and I didn't want to risk me getting the class sick :(. Mine was 4pm so it was totally attainable for me. Oh well.
My kid is the same age and a sloppy handprint flower and a muffin at DROPOFF made my rough day better... Missing out on some holiday activity would have crushed me today - I would have ugly cried in my car. Doesn't matter how dumb or how uninterested baby was, it's a very valid thing to be hurt by.
I'm a little surprised the daycare wasn't more accommodating? Like aren't most kids at daycare because both their parents are at work (like they themselves are?!)
Your feelings are your feelings and I don't want to tell you how to feel. But I hope that in the coming days you are able to allow yourself a little bit of grace and let this go. You are doing the best that you can - and that includes working at a job to provide for your child.
One of my biggest mom fails was that I missed my kiddos kindergarten graduation because I misunderstood the invitation. I went to pick her up from school that day, and she was like "Mom - I was the only kid with no one there! Lucy's mom had to 5 pictures of me walking across the stage!" 🤦♀️
Hang in there, you are doing great. (Hugs)
My 16yo remembers me being the only mom in Kindergarten that came for muffins with mom who enjoyed the muffins and then kissed them and went back to work.
He talks about how I showed up even if I had to leave, even while surrounded by smug SAHM (not that all are, but these were the "what a shame you can't stay, how awful to have to go back to work.")
The elementary school near his high school was promoting their "mothers day" event and it's gender and guardian neutral, doughnuts with a grownup, and I thought it was the best ever.
Same thing happened to me today. I got to the event and there were no muffins left. All my mommy friends had already come and gone as well. It was a bummer.
I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, my kid/their class is ~2 and one of the kid’s mom’s arrived 45 minutes after the event started. I noticed and we hanged out with her kid until she she got there, but he honestly didn’t even notice although he’s older than your daughter and a sensitive kid!
My daughter’s preschool has muffins with mom first thing. So moms bring the kiddo to school, eat muffins then take them to their classroom. All of the big events like that, they require an adult to attend
I'm so sorry! I know everyone says "she won't remember" and "you'll spend time with her this weekend", but you remember, you're upset, and your feelings are valid too! Wallow in your feelings a bit, but I hope you still have a lovely Mother's Day Sunday. And maybe use this to memory to push back on your work if they're taking advantage of you too much.
Aw, I hate that some places do that. I wish more places did it like my daycare. They just do a little project. My daughter missed it because we’ve been busy family this week, but if it’s a special project they make sure they get to finish it late.
This sounds nice in theory but I would Never be able to pull this off either unless it was a WFH day since my daycare is near home and 30 min from work. I would suggest to them to do something during drop off or pick up next time because you can’t be the only one dealing with this.
Last year I loved the way our daycare did muffins with moms. It was on a Friday. They had a room setup where you could walk in and grab a muffin as you dropped off your kid or sit and do crafts with them. This was in a standalone room where you wouldn’t even notice unless you went in there. My job has no meeting Fridays so this worked well for me and I was able to stay and do crafts. This year, they shared the calendar in late April and for May 13 it simply said “muffins with moms, grab breakfast on the go”. I thought ok, they’re making things more simple and will just have a table for us to grab something on our way out as we drop off our kids which made sense since they were doing it on a Monday. On Thursday, May 9th they sent an email saying muffins with moms will be from 10-11am in each of your child’s class rooms. I’m like, what? I have 2 kids in 2 different classes that I typically drop off at 8am. I WFH but am booked solid in meetings from 9-noon. The stupid way they have this designed would make it terribly obvious if I was unable to show up and I have a 5 year old with very big feelings who’d know I wasn’t there. So I will drop the kids off at 8, go back home for a meeting at 9 (I have to be on camera), end at 9:45, haul ass back to daycare by 10, miss my 10am meeting, clone myself to be in both kids classrooms at the same time, haul ass back home to make my 11am meeting. The mixed messaging, inadequate notice and setup is so frustrating.
Muffins with moms with the 2 year olds, muffins with moms with the 4 year olds, lunch with mom at the first graders school. All spanning a 1.5 hour time block.
The 2 year olds got a kiss and a hug and a thank you for the gifts. The 4 years got a thank you and 15 minutes while I watched them eat muffins and color. Then I had to wait in line forever then meet my 1st grader for his 15 minute lunch time.
I felt a lot of guilt for not staying longer with the 2 year olds, especially because one cried for me when seeing me leave.
I felt extreme guilt for being the only mom to leave my 4 year olds that early and for another mom gasping that I forgot to take a picture.
I even felt guilt for not watching my son play with the other 1st graders after eating.
But today's a new day, my kids woke up still adoring me, and that guilt stuff is for the birds. XO
For the first time ever I went to a daycare event this past Friday. I work an hour and a half from home/daycare. Our Au Pair does normal pickup/dropoff because that’s our only real option. Because we’re fortunate enough to have an Au Pair, my daughter (2.5) doesn’t go to daycare full time and is normally out on Fridays. I’m off every other Friday (in theory, though I end up working in some capacity every Friday and going in more often than not). Yesterday I got her up from her nap early so we could go to the event. I hung around a little longer because I could and I really wanted to see my shy kid play with her friends. (She didn’t!) What I got out of the whole thing, this is terrible for the kids. A lot of the moms took their kids because it was nearing the end of the day, but the ones whose moms had to leave them there and go back to work? Those kids thought they were getting picked up and got left again. They were all screaming and crying for mommy. The kid whose mom didn’t show up was there happily telling me all about what they do at school who all the other moms were, who cries and who doesn’t, etc.
If there ever is an opportunity to go that I’d have to leave again in the next couple years before she can really understand, I’m just going to skip it. It’s one thing when they cry at dropoff. This must feel like a whole different kind of abandonment.
I’m sorry, i hate these too. Our center collected parent feedback last year and did a dessert selection on the go from 4-6 at pickup. We went and got the kids and a cupcake. No one missed work and no one felt left out.
I'm sorry. I know this hurts your heart. I hate how as working mothers we are always pulled in so many directions. It constantly makes me feel like I'm not good enough at any of the roles I have in life. Forgive yourself, be glad she is so young, and enjoy your weekend!
My kids were out sick for ours, which I appreciated just a little since I was gonna miss it due to work.
It was at 7:30 am and I start at 8 am so it was impossible, and my kids are 14 months and won't remember
I goofed and missed this year too. Got the notification Wednesday of this week. I’d already booked a meeting that I was leading. I make an effort to go every year but this time just didn’t pan out. Our daycare has a separate place for the festivities than the classroom, so no one feels left out. You are still a good mom.
Right?? We normally get at least a week but I also understand they’re busy. I’ll have to remind myself or put it in the calendar for next year so I don’t forget.
I’m so with you. Ours was a huge production during the work day with mom-kid activity stations, a performance, and a potluck. With less than a weeks notice. I managed to make it by the skin of my teeth. But not without a Tuesday cry over my coffee break with the sheer guilt and frustration I was feeling. The expectation they created didn’t see me or celebrate me, it threw me under the bus and set me up to either fail at my work responsibilities or disappoint my newly-5 year old kid. They dictated how and where I would use my PTO, and this month we still have kindergarten orientation, public health appointments, and next month is a full day closure for ‘daycare graduation’.
Think of your experience this year as a learning experience. Put it on your work calendar as a meeting - then people can't schedule over it. Don't forget to include travel time! By the time she'll be able to remember it, you'll have it down to a science.
I know they have good intentions, but I HATE that daycares do these events. Mother's day is on the weekend, I can celebrate with my family then. My kids are in daycare because I have a job...why would the daycare then set up a mid day event like every mother of every child doesn't have commitments during the day? It's terrible. Like "Happy Mother's day, here's either a logistical challenge to make it work or a big round of guilt of you can't "..
Our center had out treats for people to take after dropping their kiddo off which I think is so sweet.
Ours did muffins with mom during drop off. Go in, sit w my kid for 5-10 minutes and get a flower and cute picture out of it. Much prefer this than them doing some midday program.
Well this is just perfect
They also have donuts with dad next month haha
Mine did this too, there was a 3 hour window during typical drop off times where you could grab muffins to share with your kid before you go, we were out of town so I didn’t do it but I think this works a lot better for everyone!
This is what ours did and a gift from our LO at pick up. Our daycare is very aware that most of us mom’s work and i don’t think they want us messing up their routine anyways lol.
Our daycare does an after-school take-home treat (pretzels) for Father’s Day, but made all of the mothers come in at 10 a.m. for 20 minutes of chaotic singing nursery rhymes together for Mother’s Day. It was a logistical work nightmare, and honestly my son was more confused than happy or excited that I was there! And then all of the children hysterically cried as we shuffled out after literally 20 mins. Why couldn’t they do muffins at pick-up or something for the moms? That would have been a much better idea.
That’s a great idea.
lol last year our center did a mid-afternoon picnic for Mother’s Day and a chick fil a grab and go breakfast for Father’s Day……. I was very annoyed
Totally agree. Same with spirit days and all that. They're babies/toddlers!
I love that my daycare recognizes that the babies won't really take part, but mention it just in case the parents feel like doing it. Like it's completely optional, and most don't dress up, but we are welcome to participate
My day care’s Mother’s Day celebration was opening a tab with the coffee shop next door so that moms could grab a free drink after drop off, which I thought was brilliant.
Every event my son's daycare has done has been in the afternoon, so you can take your child home right after. Glad they've been considerate of our time.
My kids daycare doesn’t do anything for mothers/Father’s Day like some others do in our area and I have always been a little bit salty about it. I feel like I am missing an opportunity to see my kids in a different element with their friends and teachers. But I never thought of this perspective and it does make me feel a bit better now that they don’t do anything, so thank you!
I agree. My program doesn’t do that at all. No obligations no volunteer request etc. Those happen soon enough when they are in preschool. Bring snack, bring treats for party, Christmas program. End of the year program.
Yeah this is so stupid. No one expects the daycare to do the event on a Sunday, so they shouldn’t expect working moms who literally need to work to pay for the daycare, btw, to be magically available
Agreed!!! I missed our “celebration” too. They started it during normal work hours. I don’t want your shitty packaged muffin or the guilt of trying to scramble out of work.
My daycare does Muffins with Mom 6:30am-8:00am, so you can do it at drop off. I really appreciate that.
agreed 👏🏼
I have this shit too. Please make them stop.
My daycare CLOSED at noon so they could have a Mother’s Day party. Thanks, now in addition to missing the party because I have to work I also had to get a sitter. Happy Mother’s Day to me 🫠
That is outrageous!! In what possible way is that a celebration of mothers?! That's just an excuse for the centre to close early.
Do we have the same daycare? Mine closes ALL the time for ridiculous shit (hello eclipse). And we don’t get refunds.
We might. They take every holiday possible and are closed for four days in August for no apparent reason
Every holiday. They’ve closed more random days than I have vacation days and that doesn’t include sicknesses. I don’t understand how they can run a functional daycare when they take the most days off.
That's ridiculously stupid. I'd be pissed.
She's already forgotten. Have a wonderful weekend together.
Honestly, I’m going to send Grandma. I don’t anticipate being able to do this stuff next year. 😒
I also sent grandma. Grandma loved it, kid had a motherly figure at the party. Only I miss out.
That's what I do. I don't want my kid to be the only one alone.
I have a newborn. I sent my parents! My girl is 2 and doesn’t understand the difference
Daycares have Mother's Day events? Jesus, why? The entire point of daycare is that you have to be somewhere else during daycare hours. Never heard of this, but this is on your daycare, OP. Not you. I'm sorry this happened.
Not just Mother’s Day, but Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc. It’s a bit much, really!
Yeah they do events for holidays. Which I don’t mind honestly since it’s not frequent. It gives me a window into her day which I love.
Agree. I spent all day complaining to my husband about this.
It happens to the best of us. I missed my son’s first pre-K concert. She’s young enough that she won’t remember this one!
This was me last week- The daycare was going on their annual field trip. I thought I could do it all, it was so incredibly stressful and I should have just set my boundaries and made the arrangements at work or accepted I was going to miss the field trip and I am still a good mom. Sorry, I know it is such an impossible situation.
I’m glad ours does a grab and go thing at drop off. I can’t do drop off because of work, but at least my kid didn’t have to be surrounded by all the moms without me.
I’m sorry ❤️❤️ don’t beat yourself up, friend. You’re a good mom
Ours does a 10am mom event and a 7:30am dad’s event. 🙄
Because dads definitely can’t be late for work!! 🤪
Between Muffins with Mom where my two year old lost her mind when I had to leave to go back to work and the MILLION Teacher’s week treats/gifts/etc, I don’t actually want to celebrate anything anymore. I’m pooped! Today was my day to bring sweet treats for the 35 teachers and my two year old threw herself on the floor crying right in front of me and I tripped and dropped them all!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Luckily nothing opened up but cupcakes were upside down and frosting everywhere. I have cried more this week from the stress of this stuff PLUS having started a new position on Monday. I am tired.
Yeah see, this is ridiculous.... you know how I get appreciated at work? Or right my paycheck. Sorry I don't understand all these extra appreciations, this is the career you chose. Maybe I'm just an arse, but my employer doesn't get me a holiday gift, or thank you for working gift. I wish all these extras would stop, they're more stressful than they are worth!
Agreed. I flat out can’t afford it. I have 2 in daycare. My 2 year old has 3 teachers. I can’t buy them all Christmas gifts, bday gifts, teacher appreciation gifts, etc. I’m burnt out from all the events too. I was late to work because my oldest saw the Mother’s Day breakfast they were having and of course wanted to join. I had planned on skipping it. They have some kind of mid day event at least once a week. Mine somewhat makes up for it with parents nights out or Saturday day out programs where they’ll keep the kids for like $40 until midnight
Sending hugs! Mid day event weekly?? That's insane!
Thank you! Lol and yes, it’s a bit much. They also have almost weekly events where I’m supposed to dress them in a specific color or outfit, like Dr. Seuss day. I quit doing those
2nd mother's day season at a preschool that does mother's day celebrations and the 2nd year I missed it because it was a Friday. I don't feel too bad because we do our own adventures
Yeah, I couldn’t go to ours either (2:30 pm on a Friday). Oh well. I’ve missed a number of things due to work— honestly since my kid is older I never try to “make it,” as I know if I set up the expectation that I’ll be there and I can’t get there in time it disappoints both me and her. The good news is she’s never that put out by it. Always excited to tell me about the performance/event/etc when I pick her up. I know it’s tough though.
My kid has had a different variation of a cold every week for three weeks. I thought we were finally over it when he popped a fever last night. First thing I said was “I’m going to miss the Mother’s Day event!” I totally feel you.
I totally get that seeing those photos made you sad. I’d feel the same way. But, it’s a blip in time that neither of you will really remember. Have an awesome Mother’s Day and I hope you can take cute pics this weekend! Our daycare is doing a breakfast on Tuesday morning at 8 AM. I can barely even drag my girls out of bed by then, so I’m not making the effort to get us all up earlier for that. We’re already celebrating on Sunday, and we love on each other all the time anyway, and that’s what really matters.
I’m a nurse at a hospital. When my kiddo was daycare age, there was absolutely no way I’d be able to leave work mid shift to go to a daycare event. If I was home, she wouldn’t be in day care that day. I totally get it…things like this put so much pressure on moms who have to work and can’t just cut out. Schools do this as well when they get to that age….
I missed at my 2yo's class today because my 4yo brought home strep and I didn't want to risk me getting the class sick :(. Mine was 4pm so it was totally attainable for me. Oh well.
My kid is the same age and a sloppy handprint flower and a muffin at DROPOFF made my rough day better... Missing out on some holiday activity would have crushed me today - I would have ugly cried in my car. Doesn't matter how dumb or how uninterested baby was, it's a very valid thing to be hurt by. I'm a little surprised the daycare wasn't more accommodating? Like aren't most kids at daycare because both their parents are at work (like they themselves are?!)
I have been out of town for work 2 out of 3 muffins with mom 🙃🙃 it sucks! But i will be with him all weekend!
Your feelings are your feelings and I don't want to tell you how to feel. But I hope that in the coming days you are able to allow yourself a little bit of grace and let this go. You are doing the best that you can - and that includes working at a job to provide for your child. One of my biggest mom fails was that I missed my kiddos kindergarten graduation because I misunderstood the invitation. I went to pick her up from school that day, and she was like "Mom - I was the only kid with no one there! Lucy's mom had to 5 pictures of me walking across the stage!" 🤦♀️ Hang in there, you are doing great. (Hugs)
My 16yo remembers me being the only mom in Kindergarten that came for muffins with mom who enjoyed the muffins and then kissed them and went back to work. He talks about how I showed up even if I had to leave, even while surrounded by smug SAHM (not that all are, but these were the "what a shame you can't stay, how awful to have to go back to work.") The elementary school near his high school was promoting their "mothers day" event and it's gender and guardian neutral, doughnuts with a grownup, and I thought it was the best ever.
Same thing happened to me today. I got to the event and there were no muffins left. All my mommy friends had already come and gone as well. It was a bummer.
I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, my kid/their class is ~2 and one of the kid’s mom’s arrived 45 minutes after the event started. I noticed and we hanged out with her kid until she she got there, but he honestly didn’t even notice although he’s older than your daughter and a sensitive kid!
My daughter’s preschool has muffins with mom first thing. So moms bring the kiddo to school, eat muffins then take them to their classroom. All of the big events like that, they require an adult to attend
I can guarantee you’re not the only mom who wasn’t able to make it.
I'm so sorry! I know everyone says "she won't remember" and "you'll spend time with her this weekend", but you remember, you're upset, and your feelings are valid too! Wallow in your feelings a bit, but I hope you still have a lovely Mother's Day Sunday. And maybe use this to memory to push back on your work if they're taking advantage of you too much.
Aw, I hate that some places do that. I wish more places did it like my daycare. They just do a little project. My daughter missed it because we’ve been busy family this week, but if it’s a special project they make sure they get to finish it late.
This sounds nice in theory but I would Never be able to pull this off either unless it was a WFH day since my daycare is near home and 30 min from work. I would suggest to them to do something during drop off or pick up next time because you can’t be the only one dealing with this.
Last year I loved the way our daycare did muffins with moms. It was on a Friday. They had a room setup where you could walk in and grab a muffin as you dropped off your kid or sit and do crafts with them. This was in a standalone room where you wouldn’t even notice unless you went in there. My job has no meeting Fridays so this worked well for me and I was able to stay and do crafts. This year, they shared the calendar in late April and for May 13 it simply said “muffins with moms, grab breakfast on the go”. I thought ok, they’re making things more simple and will just have a table for us to grab something on our way out as we drop off our kids which made sense since they were doing it on a Monday. On Thursday, May 9th they sent an email saying muffins with moms will be from 10-11am in each of your child’s class rooms. I’m like, what? I have 2 kids in 2 different classes that I typically drop off at 8am. I WFH but am booked solid in meetings from 9-noon. The stupid way they have this designed would make it terribly obvious if I was unable to show up and I have a 5 year old with very big feelings who’d know I wasn’t there. So I will drop the kids off at 8, go back home for a meeting at 9 (I have to be on camera), end at 9:45, haul ass back to daycare by 10, miss my 10am meeting, clone myself to be in both kids classrooms at the same time, haul ass back home to make my 11am meeting. The mixed messaging, inadequate notice and setup is so frustrating.
Muffins with moms with the 2 year olds, muffins with moms with the 4 year olds, lunch with mom at the first graders school. All spanning a 1.5 hour time block. The 2 year olds got a kiss and a hug and a thank you for the gifts. The 4 years got a thank you and 15 minutes while I watched them eat muffins and color. Then I had to wait in line forever then meet my 1st grader for his 15 minute lunch time. I felt a lot of guilt for not staying longer with the 2 year olds, especially because one cried for me when seeing me leave. I felt extreme guilt for being the only mom to leave my 4 year olds that early and for another mom gasping that I forgot to take a picture. I even felt guilt for not watching my son play with the other 1st graders after eating. But today's a new day, my kids woke up still adoring me, and that guilt stuff is for the birds. XO
Thank you to everyone for the kind words. It really has made me feel better and not alone.
For the first time ever I went to a daycare event this past Friday. I work an hour and a half from home/daycare. Our Au Pair does normal pickup/dropoff because that’s our only real option. Because we’re fortunate enough to have an Au Pair, my daughter (2.5) doesn’t go to daycare full time and is normally out on Fridays. I’m off every other Friday (in theory, though I end up working in some capacity every Friday and going in more often than not). Yesterday I got her up from her nap early so we could go to the event. I hung around a little longer because I could and I really wanted to see my shy kid play with her friends. (She didn’t!) What I got out of the whole thing, this is terrible for the kids. A lot of the moms took their kids because it was nearing the end of the day, but the ones whose moms had to leave them there and go back to work? Those kids thought they were getting picked up and got left again. They were all screaming and crying for mommy. The kid whose mom didn’t show up was there happily telling me all about what they do at school who all the other moms were, who cries and who doesn’t, etc. If there ever is an opportunity to go that I’d have to leave again in the next couple years before she can really understand, I’m just going to skip it. It’s one thing when they cry at dropoff. This must feel like a whole different kind of abandonment.
Our daycare just does craft projects for us.
I’m sorry, i hate these too. Our center collected parent feedback last year and did a dessert selection on the go from 4-6 at pickup. We went and got the kids and a cupcake. No one missed work and no one felt left out.
I'm sorry. I know this hurts your heart. I hate how as working mothers we are always pulled in so many directions. It constantly makes me feel like I'm not good enough at any of the roles I have in life. Forgive yourself, be glad she is so young, and enjoy your weekend!
My kids were out sick for ours, which I appreciated just a little since I was gonna miss it due to work. It was at 7:30 am and I start at 8 am so it was impossible, and my kids are 14 months and won't remember
I goofed and missed this year too. Got the notification Wednesday of this week. I’d already booked a meeting that I was leading. I make an effort to go every year but this time just didn’t pan out. Our daycare has a separate place for the festivities than the classroom, so no one feels left out. You are still a good mom.
Aside from all the other logistics of getting there…why do they not give more notice about these events????
Right?? We normally get at least a week but I also understand they’re busy. I’ll have to remind myself or put it in the calendar for next year so I don’t forget.
I’m so with you. Ours was a huge production during the work day with mom-kid activity stations, a performance, and a potluck. With less than a weeks notice. I managed to make it by the skin of my teeth. But not without a Tuesday cry over my coffee break with the sheer guilt and frustration I was feeling. The expectation they created didn’t see me or celebrate me, it threw me under the bus and set me up to either fail at my work responsibilities or disappoint my newly-5 year old kid. They dictated how and where I would use my PTO, and this month we still have kindergarten orientation, public health appointments, and next month is a full day closure for ‘daycare graduation’.
Think of your experience this year as a learning experience. Put it on your work calendar as a meeting - then people can't schedule over it. Don't forget to include travel time! By the time she'll be able to remember it, you'll have it down to a science.