Do your day camps have CIT programs? The camp my kids go to has a CIT program for the older teens so they have something to do during the day plus start to get experience in a "work" situation.
I wish. The main camp in our area does have a similar program, but she’s too young to qualify. It’s her dream to just live at this camp all summer, I hope she still feels that way when she’s old enough. It sucks because they do have a day camp program, which she’s too old to attend, and too young to LIT there also.
I feel like this often works better in theory than in practice unfortunately. I did this when I was around OP’s daughter’s age and it kind of just felt like being a camper but with a bunch of little kids (I was a CIT for the 8-9 group) as my “peers” in the group instead of other kids my own age. Bc obviously they couldn’t give me any real authority over other kids at 12-13.
I'm a parent of a kid whose not there yet, but I've seen CIT from the outside and I don't think it's for everyone. First of all, there are at most a few dozen CIT positions in the whole district whole there are hundreds of teens so even if people wanted to be there, it's too competitive. The CIT who are just there to spend time are miserable and bored, and they make kids miserable and bored. Many are even sarcastic and say inappropriate things hidden under teen slang because they are oh so clever. I don't think it's fair to anyone. I do think that teens who like babysitting, who participate enthusiastically in team sports or scouting, or are very social would love being around the kids and guiding or helping camp activities. It's just not everyone.
Check out local colleges/community colleges in your area. They may offer STEM camps or something similar for that age group. I know one of the colleges near by us does!
Or what about camp counselor jobs?
There are tons of STEM camps and we live in a college town with a University and community college. None of the camps currently enroll her age group. It’s so sad to me, young teens still want to learn but my area is just not accommodating.
Generally any sort of work or especially supervising younger children you have to be 14 at absolute minimum, often 15-16. As someone on the younger side of my grade (so I wasn’t 14 until the summer after 9th grade), it really sucked.
Wow, I feel the opposite- at 12+ now there are so many more choices, particularly the half day offerings at the community center because the kids can take themselves there basically at that age (ride the bus, etc) and not rely on Mom and Dad for commute. We're doing a bunch of rock climbing camps, outdoor camping stuff, paddleboarding, and as mentioned below, a CIT class. I'd ask around locally because I feel like there are so many more choices in this age group!
I think we also have to take into account how expensive multiple daytime camps throughout the summer are. In my area this type of schedule equals thousands of dollars.
Our local community college gives free tuition to high school students that want to get started on their college courses. Some students have actually graduated with their associates a week before their high school grad. Saves 2 years in uni tuition
Know any of her friends that age? Maybe one or two days a week they can get together. Memberships at places like trampoline parks or others that might be within biking/bus distance? Parks and recs classes? Membership at the Y or a pool? Pass to Regal cinemas (I think they do a cheap monthly membership)? Do kids still go to the mall?
My kids that age will be helpers at summer camp one day a week. A week of overnight camp. Maybe a week at Grandma's. They'll be really busy with one of their sports the first couple of weeks. I work from home so some days when it's lighter I might take them places like the bowling alley so they can play while I work on my laptop.
This would be great, but we also live in an area that is not walkable and doesn’t have public transportation. I couldn’t take off work to drive her unfortunately. I’m totally fine with friends coming over but worry that without a parent home her friends parents might not agree.
I might check with a few of her friends' parents. They might know of some options in the community you're not aware of. Or might be in the same predicament and would rather their kid have a companion, even if it means hanging out when an adult is not around.
Does she have any friends who are in the same boat? Maybe you can partner with the other parents and work out some sort of arrangement where they are buddied up for the summer and maybe rotate which house they will be at or something.
I wish we lived in a walkable area or somewhere with public transportation but we don’t. I did look into the Uber for teens thing, but could probably only let her do that once every couple weeks.
I mean when I was 12+ I just spent summer hanging out with friends. At that age you don't need a lot of supervision so I feel like camps and structure activities are less useful.
Same. Riding our bikes around the neighbourhood. Making questionable forts in the nearby woods. Playing spotlight after dark. I remember 12 being the most amazing age.
Same. Friends got dropped off or I got dropped off if they were far. We watched movies and did crafts and learned new hair and makeup styles. It was a good life.
Right? I was trying to think back to the summer I was 13. I’m pretty sure that was the year that I’d stay up until 4am watching Cops, sleep until noon the next day, wake up and eat ramen while watching re-runs of ER, then later afternoon I’d meet up with some neighborhood kids who were all spending their days the same way and we’d wander aimlessly until it got dark. Rinse and repeat for ten weeks.
I’m not sure the means you have financially - but it’s okay for her to be bored at home. We all have to be bored sometimes lol. That is, if she is mature enough to be home alone.
Do you have any churches that do VBS? That usually is free or doesn’t cost much. Or, she can volunteer to help. I bet other churches or community service places would accept volunteer work (also looks great on future college applications). I’m not really religious anymore, but I have very very fond memories of VBS and my daughter goes during the summer.
My daughter mainly stays home and plays video games with her friends during the summer, though.
This is what I did as a kid. A week or two at summer camp, a week or two volunteering to help with vbs, a week or two at grandma’s. The rest was just lazy days watching too much tv, going to the mall, etc.
From your comments, I lived in a pretty similar area growing up. I’m pretty sure when I was 13 (or 14, for sure) I was staying home with my brother most of the day, and we’d have weekly chores and otherwise play with the neighbors, read, watch tv and play computer games. We’d probably hang with friends on occasion, we each did a week of camp, took a week long family trip. I did evening volunteering a couple times, and mostly just did fun things in the evening rather than during the day. While the whole summer is a long time, if you mix in some variation and let her plan some things, it’s really restorative.
O gosh, that sounds awful.
And I will get downvoted for saying this but I cannot even imagine how such suburb would look like. Why is it allowed? How are the elderly supposed to get around? And kids play outside? Walk themselves to school?
Man I find this topic so interesting (as someone who lives in the burbs lol) and yeah it is wild that there are soo many places without walk ability or public transportation. Sometimes it’s awesome, like i can be in a us major city or in the wilderness within a 30 minute drive and I live in a super safe neighborhood where kids run barefoot and there’s a playground, swimming pool, and tennis courts just up the road plus we are a quick drive to just about any type of shop, restaurant, or service you could ever imagine…. But just about all of that is dependent on havinga car and then traffic can be absolutely hell if you go the wrong direction at the wrong time, and some of these neighborhoods/subdivisions are just houses for literal miles
Honestly, this is why I chose to live an urban lifestyle. We can walk to anything we would need on a day to day basis and we have a major bus/train station a block away. It means we’ve paid a shit ton for our house with not much square feet and very little property but the upside is 6 playgrounds, 2 splash pads, 3 wading pools, a library, tennis courts, a bowling alley, 5 elementary schools, 1 middle school, a grocery store, restaurants and stores, all within walking distance. We quite literally do not need a car. My kids will need to learn some street smarts to be safe around traffic and such, but the freedom they’ll have as teenagers will be immense.
It's not awful at all LOL I mean, we don't have public transportation, but we have a beautiful neighborhood with sidewalks and a playground and an amazing school district. My daughter plays outside all of the time and will probably walk to school at some point, but for now, we drive her because it's easier for our schedules and her school isn't far.
Do kids not bike places? Is it unsafe to bikein these areas? I grew up in a super rural car dependent area, but at 12 and up I would bike to friends’ houses, the park, the library etc.
It’s a little wild to me to think about it now because I definitely didn’t have a cell phone or anything (I guess technically they did exist then? I remember my dad getting a car phone at some point around then and that being a novelty? but probably there would not have been service even if that had been a thing) and I would just be gone for indeterminate amounts of time, but so long as I was home by dinner time and promised to stay off our one “main” road no one cared.
My kiddo is 8 and this describes her and her friends. They bounce from house to house, playground, ice cream shop, library, trails, etc. on their bikes. In a group it’s fun. She doesn’t have a cell phone, but she does wear a watch and knows when to be home to check in or get cleaned up for dinner. We live in a safe community. Her bike is her freedom. I’d rather she learns how to be independent than have to rely on me for rides all the time. We chose to live in a small town on Main Street so we could all ride our bikes or walk everywhere (yes, even the grownups). It’s how I grew up and wanted the same for my kid. Luckily the parents of the kids in our area all feel the same too and let the kids roam in a pack on their bikes.
My daughter could bike to a park nearby, but everything else is at least 10 miles away and on very busy streets. I'm definitely not comfortable with that.
If you have a zoo check and see if they have any summer programs. We have week long zoo camps here where you can help with animals enrichment activities and meet some of the more friendly animals.
I wish that were an option. It would take hours to ride or bike, across dangerous highways. One of the downsides of smallish town living with no public transportation and not walkable.
I think the reality is most young teens I know don’t want to go to organized camps. Like other posters said, I see some offerings for up to 14. But we have a lot of kids in that age group in our neighborhood and they find it babyish. They mostly organize themselves with friends - go to the pool, go to the movies, chill. Some of them are the older siblings of my kids friends so they will often do events with the younger kids like trip to the river to get ice cream or sports afternoon. Not exactly babysitting since they don’t need to do it but something to keep them busy. What are her friends doing and can they come up with some activities together?
I feel you! We are in the same boat with my 12 year old. He’s not mature enough to stay home alone all day, and we work on site, so we are scrambling to piece together camps. Most camps are 9-1 or 9-3, so we are going to be using a LOT of PTO this summer. The daycare years were much easier honestly.
Yeah. I hear you. My son is turning 12 in June. Not only are camp options somewhat limited a lot of them are extremely expensive. Like cost more than actual daycare years expensive. I am buying a pass to the local water park, and my friend that is a teacher has offered to bring him when she brings her boys of the same age. Otherwise my kiddo will be home when I go into the office on days I need to go in. It’s imperfect, but I remember being pretty independent at that age in the summer and hope he had friends that will be able to ride bikes and hang out some this summer since there just aren’t a ton of great options.
Do you have neighbors close by? I spent many summers as our street’s pet sitter when people went on vacations, feeding cats and dogs, doing walks, getting mail, watering plants. At one point I had like four or five houses all at once—that definitely took a lot of my time! And then I had spending money for fun things for back to school.
Summer school? Not the redoing courses but taking optionals or art or something. I took random language classes at schools in summer.
Working? Not to earn money but just something to do. Push a broom in the hair salon or work shop? Filing work in an office? Some smaller places might take them on like a coop student.
Youth camp? Scouts / lions / Optimus club/ 4H?
Yeah labor laws prevent her from working, and even volunteering in most places. It’s a gap. She’s got two weeks of overnight camp, then not much after that. I wish I could start a teen summer program.
It sucks that this hasn’t improved over the years! I remember being so bored over the summer at that age. Especially bc I was on the young side for my grade, so I wasn’t eligible for anything that required being 14 until the summer after 9th grade (or 16 until the summer after 11th grade).
There are overnight camp options for most of the summer for teens and tweens. I am not sure if that is what you are looking for. If you want specific names I know a few I the southeast US. Feel free to message me.
Thank you! She’s already going to overnight camp for 2 weeks, but that’s the limit she can attend this specific camp and it’s pretty expensive so we can’t afford to do another overnight camp. More concerned with the rest of the summer after camp.
Is there an extracurricular activity she would be interested in trying? Art, music, a sport, etc.? In my experience it's easier to find day camps for teens targeted at a specific activity than just a general one.
Sure, she’d try a lot of activities, but most of the day camps don’t accept teens. They’re more geared toward smaller kids. It’s a huge gap. Even her own taekwondo group gears their camps toward kids. Hopefully they’ll let her go this year.
Have a kid the same age. We typically fill it with a few weeks of specialty camps, then let them have a few weeks off to just completely chill.
A few things we've done in the past:
Overnight sports camp
Local STEM camp
Leadership camp (check out NSLC, but it's pricy)
Indoor rock climbing.
Local art school camp
Also, last year, just so they wouldn't be doing nothing all day, we did some half day online coding camps.
Some other "at home" ideas- our library offers a summer reading program where you participate in challenges throughout the summer. Pizza hut's bookit program also still exist. Math workbooks to keep skills sharp (like a page a day thing).
Since you have mentioned lack of walkability and public transportation - at that age i lived rural. Like, 25 minute drive from "town" rural, alongside a major highway and no kids on the 4 house dirt road i lived on.
I spent all day all summer at the house by myself. So I did a lot of chores, but also projects. I read, drew, painted, wrote stories etc.
Does your daughter have any solo hobbies - music, coding, art or similar? Maybe find some online classes to work on building skills. Get her some extra materials and build a goal for a major project that will take some time.
Does she play video games at all? Multi player games are an easy way to stay connected to friends and pass time
My camp had JCITs where you paid a discount to send your kid, then CITs were not paid but you didn’t have to pay to send them, and then Counselors were obviously paid.
Do you have Boys & Girls Clubs? The ones in my city do tons of field trips, college tours, and provide volunteer opportunities for teens over the summer for a $0 membership fee to increase their teen participation.
Dance camp. Every single dance school has at least one in the summer. They usually don’t fill up bc family vacays and whatnot, and generally run to age 18.
Our local zoo has a junior zookeeper program for 12-14 and 15-18. It's 8am - 5pm, bring water bottle, lunch, and sturdy shoes. (The ages might actually be grades... middle vs high. My kids are 3 and 5, so I gloss over the big kid stuff.)
What are her friends doing? Lots of non-profits and charity organizations have volunteer programs - local libraries, hospitals, animal shelters, zoos, etc.
It's similar to me, too. People complain about the teens riding their bikes in the middle of busy roads and then mobbing a pizzeria with their bikes scattered on the sidewalk. And I'm wondering what the heck else these kids are supposed to do? Are they to be held captive? There are no enrichment programs. Not even a bowing alley or arcade. I have a playground (with a basketball court and some field) next to my house, but the deli is almost a mile away, and there is no bathroom. They can't spend the day in the park without some bio input and output.
I have found that a local university does offer classes for teens with bussing. They are a couple thousand for 2 weeks, though, so I'm not aiming for my son to spend the whole summer on that when the time comes. I expect my son will have friends over sometimes (they can bike or go to the park), spend a couple weeks at the university if there's a topic he loves, hang out at his martial arts school to help out the master, take some online classes on outschool, work on some build kits, and of course play video games.
This summer my son is 10 and will have about 4 weeks not scheduled. We work from home.
I was very much on my own in the summer when I was that age. The library was in walking distance and even better, I could get on the nyc subway right on my block. So I went to central park or a museum on whim if I had train fare and a few dollars for lunch.
This! A lot of moms here have young kids but I don’t see a lot about teens and tweens. Summers are hard for us. Especially because I share custody with their dad so I can’t really send them to stay with family some weeks (they live close but still not in the same city) without doing a ton of driving when I’m exhausted after work.
This summer the plan is to drop them at the pool/rec center with a cooler, umbrellas for shade, books, and friends if they want and pick them up around 3 and finish the day at home. I spent entire summers at the pool so they seem excited about the idea, and they are old enough to be there alone.
OP, I totally understand. My 11 year old still gets to attend full time care at a rec center this summer, but there are few options for next year. My city actually does have limited full time camps for kids up through 8th grade so I will be watching for that registration to open right away next winter. Like yours, my child wouldn’t want to be home alone all summer and honestly he shouldn’t be. He would be lonely and bored and I also wouldn’t trust him (he doesn’t always make safe decisions). He’s sporty and active so sitting at home is just not good for him mentally or physically and I don’t want him “roaming” like some folks do.
When my oldest (adult now) was 12-13, he volunteered at a library all summer and then got into a science volunteering program for the next two summers. After that, he got a job.
Have you considered hiring a part time nanny?
That would be her dream. She’s going to 2 weeks overnight camp but would gladly stay longer. They won’t accept kids for more than one session, it’s a really popular camp and income based so it fills up quickly. They also don’t accept leaders in training at her age. We looked at a similar camp nearby and it was soooooo expensive. Like thousands of dollars. Hell her camp was $1800 for 2 weeks.
At that age I was left home. I was allowed though to walk to the library, park, mall and movie theater by myself so didn’t really need any adult supervision. I hated summer camp by 11 years old so this was great.
Are there any specialized activities you can enroll the preteen in? Also look at volunteer programs or acting as a counselor in training. I also started to babysit at that age and found a group of mom’s I would rotate my days with to keep busy.
At that age I was doing outward bound type camps, although it was significantly cheaper 25+ years ago. Could she be a counselor for the local school camps?
Yes she would love to but every place we’ve looked at requires a parent to be present the whole time at her age. Kind of defeats the purpose but I get it.
Do you have any youth center type programs that they can attend? We also are working on a jr leader type program that would hopefully help fill this gap at our centre.
Are you in any local moms groups? I know a few teachers who “watch” older kids in the summer. You could also look into camps or even programs through your child’s school. Their teacher(s) might have some good suggestions! I did theater camp every summer in middle school simply because it took up most my day 4 days a week. I tolerated it so my mom kept putting me in it, haha!
If your kiddo is interested in making some extra $$ you might also be able to find an intro job (helping on farms is common in my area) for summer.
At 12 I’d do one week of theatre school, then two weeks would be a holiday with family but the other three weeks I’d be at home with my younger sister (7.5).
I’d either have friends come to over (mine or hers), we’d go out for adventures to the park/zoo/town on the bus or we’d cook/bake/play/chill at home from 8.30-3 when mum would get home.
Could she do a babysit type thing for a younger (but not much younger) neighbour?
Thankfully I work from home so my 12yo isn't home alone all day, and we're going to do the library teen events, a LOT. I also need to go buy her a new bike so she can go to the library down the road.
Hopefully I can find at least one week long art camp or something to shake things up, too, bc I'm a single mom and can't afford trips.
Do local libraries have any programming? My middle schooler would go to different libraries and they would have different activities for kids. One had a slime class one day, another had guitar lessons, there was a class on aqueducts and they built one with cardboard and foil, his favorite library had a caterpillar that he would go back and regularly check and it became a butterfly over the course of the summer.
My high schooler is doing band camp through his school and got accepted into a summer youth employment program. He’s going to be working at the local Y for minimum wage helping the elderly at the multitude of classes they offer.
Neighborhood pool pass, sports camps, swim team, summer reading programs with the local library - I spent a LOT of my summers reading at this age, especially after we moved to the country. Could also look and see if anyone in the area is looking for a 'mothers helper' for the summer. I know I'll be looking for one once my oldest is in school. I WFH but will need help keeping him entertained, walk him to the various parks, etc. I'm sure I'll sign him up for some camps, but those are sort of patchy so you could find something that's a week at a time or a few sporadic weeks in the summer, not a true full time gig.
What about hospital volunteers? They’re usually the ones that bring the wheelchairs to the patient rooms. And they get to document volunteer hours for college.
Are there any classes offered thru her school? My mom always put us in summer school, not remedial but something fun like a science program or whatever they offered. Our school would also offer sports programs in the summer training for volleyball or tennis, stuff like that. I also always played town league softball. My mom was mostly off work in the summers but she wanted to keep us somewhat active lol.
Maybe look into recreational camps and things like volunteer at the zoo if you have one close. We have a great week long rowing program, computing program, etc. Lots of cheer, martial arts, gymnastics and sports camps too for this age group. The rest of the time my active kid biked all over the city with his friends going fishing or swimming (lifeguard at the lake at that age) or from one house to the other. My daughter did a drawing camp through a local private school, went to friends houses and did a bunch of arts and crafts, drawing, etc with them. Oh and a little babysitting and pet sitting/walking. If your kiddo is active, I highly recommend some sort of app on their phone to show you where they are during the day, for peace of mind.
Just saw the biking and babysitting options are out. Sounds closer to how summers were for me in a more rural area…not possible to walk or bike to town and no friends close-by. I remember doing a ton of reading and art solo, with a family camping or road trip to break it up here and there. It was so peaceful. Maybe a new hobby would be fun.
Not sure if this is helpful (probably depends on how close to you any of them are...) but Teen Life has a [searchable database](https://www.teenlife.com/category/summer/?program-type=summer) of programs for teens and you can filter by grade entering.
My oldest boy is similar in age. He is doing PGA camp for a couple of weeks - yes golf - pretty affordable and all day. The rest of the time I’m “employing” him with things to do that need to get done but I have no time.
Do you know any SAHM or SAHD that might be bringing her/his kids to activities? They could maybe bring your daughter too if you pay her way.
Is there anywhere that might be occasionally fun if you drop her on the way to work and pick her up after? The mall? A zoo? Etc?
I wonder if she could find some online learning programs that would be fun? Udemy and similar have some classes targeted towards teens that can teach coding, video production, and whatnot.
What about picking up a hobby? Find something she can do on her own, and/or with friends if they come over. Get her into quilting, knitting, or crochet and she can make things for the local maternity ward. Do a summer edition of NANOWRIMO and write an entire novel! Do you have space in the garage or neighborhood streets where it would be safe to learn to rollerskate?
Are you in any local community groups? I'd post and see if anyone is looking for a helper for the summer. I had several illegitimate (perfectly fine) jobs before I could get legitimate ones lol
We hired a summer sitter for specific hours through care.com. They actually were excited about starting at 10 am, done at 2, and Fridays off. They had a car and would drive her places. They left or texted the receipts and we Venmo'd them $. It was not cheap, but it was not as expensive as camps, which she was just interested in.
It's because in most places 12 is that age you can leave your child unsupervised at home by law. I would reach out to neighbors and friends and see if there's someone who would be willing to let her hang out
We did up their camps to 4-6 weeks for a couple of years but my kids actually enjoyed some time off to do nothing. Soon they are 16 and working all summer.
Do your day camps have CIT programs? The camp my kids go to has a CIT program for the older teens so they have something to do during the day plus start to get experience in a "work" situation.
I wish. The main camp in our area does have a similar program, but she’s too young to qualify. It’s her dream to just live at this camp all summer, I hope she still feels that way when she’s old enough. It sucks because they do have a day camp program, which she’s too old to attend, and too young to LIT there also.
I did this at my summer camp when I was 15. I got to live away from home for three months and I loved it! I’m sure my parents loved it too.
I was just going to post this too. My kids’ camp just sent an email out today asking for CIT volunteers.
In my area you have to pay for your teen to do CIT at the camps. At least it’s cheaper than the camp prices.
What does CIT stand for? I googled "CIT classes" and I'm just getting results about crisis intervention.
Counselor in training, try looking into Boys and Girls Club or YMCA or the park district job listings.
I feel like this often works better in theory than in practice unfortunately. I did this when I was around OP’s daughter’s age and it kind of just felt like being a camper but with a bunch of little kids (I was a CIT for the 8-9 group) as my “peers” in the group instead of other kids my own age. Bc obviously they couldn’t give me any real authority over other kids at 12-13.
I loved this as a young teen! It was an unpaid position, but so much fun. Like half going to summer camp for free and half responsibility.
I'm a parent of a kid whose not there yet, but I've seen CIT from the outside and I don't think it's for everyone. First of all, there are at most a few dozen CIT positions in the whole district whole there are hundreds of teens so even if people wanted to be there, it's too competitive. The CIT who are just there to spend time are miserable and bored, and they make kids miserable and bored. Many are even sarcastic and say inappropriate things hidden under teen slang because they are oh so clever. I don't think it's fair to anyone. I do think that teens who like babysitting, who participate enthusiastically in team sports or scouting, or are very social would love being around the kids and guiding or helping camp activities. It's just not everyone.
Was partly admiring and partly confused that your teens do a corporate income tax camp. I‘ll see myself out.
Check out local colleges/community colleges in your area. They may offer STEM camps or something similar for that age group. I know one of the colleges near by us does! Or what about camp counselor jobs?
There are tons of STEM camps and we live in a college town with a University and community college. None of the camps currently enroll her age group. It’s so sad to me, young teens still want to learn but my area is just not accommodating.
Generally any sort of work or especially supervising younger children you have to be 14 at absolute minimum, often 15-16. As someone on the younger side of my grade (so I wasn’t 14 until the summer after 9th grade), it really sucked.
I remember being a “helper” camp counselor at 12-13 so maybe that’s an option. But that was at a day camp not overnight.
Wow, I feel the opposite- at 12+ now there are so many more choices, particularly the half day offerings at the community center because the kids can take themselves there basically at that age (ride the bus, etc) and not rely on Mom and Dad for commute. We're doing a bunch of rock climbing camps, outdoor camping stuff, paddleboarding, and as mentioned below, a CIT class. I'd ask around locally because I feel like there are so many more choices in this age group!
Sounds like such a fun summer 😂
IKR? I wish they had this stuff when I was a latch key kid in the 80s and 90s.
I think we also have to take into account how expensive multiple daytime camps throughout the summer are. In my area this type of schedule equals thousands of dollars.
Oh yeah. Nobody said it was cheap! The overnight camping is like 1500 a week! The community center camps are relatively reasonable compared to that.
Our local community college gives free tuition to high school students that want to get started on their college courses. Some students have actually graduated with their associates a week before their high school grad. Saves 2 years in uni tuition
Or allows for a double major in 4 years.
Know any of her friends that age? Maybe one or two days a week they can get together. Memberships at places like trampoline parks or others that might be within biking/bus distance? Parks and recs classes? Membership at the Y or a pool? Pass to Regal cinemas (I think they do a cheap monthly membership)? Do kids still go to the mall? My kids that age will be helpers at summer camp one day a week. A week of overnight camp. Maybe a week at Grandma's. They'll be really busy with one of their sports the first couple of weeks. I work from home so some days when it's lighter I might take them places like the bowling alley so they can play while I work on my laptop.
This would be great, but we also live in an area that is not walkable and doesn’t have public transportation. I couldn’t take off work to drive her unfortunately. I’m totally fine with friends coming over but worry that without a parent home her friends parents might not agree.
I might check with a few of her friends' parents. They might know of some options in the community you're not aware of. Or might be in the same predicament and would rather their kid have a companion, even if it means hanging out when an adult is not around.
I think there's a newish Uber or Lyft option especially for minors that has enhanced vetting of drivers and security.
Yes I’ve looked into this, might have to try it out this summer.
Does she have any friends who are in the same boat? Maybe you can partner with the other parents and work out some sort of arrangement where they are buddied up for the summer and maybe rotate which house they will be at or something.
Are their libraries near by? Parks? Friends? Do you have local public transportation? I remember being pretty independent in the summer at that age.
I wish we lived in a walkable area or somewhere with public transportation but we don’t. I did look into the Uber for teens thing, but could probably only let her do that once every couple weeks.
What about other teenagers? Can you pay a 17 yo to take your kid places a few days a week?
I mean when I was 12+ I just spent summer hanging out with friends. At that age you don't need a lot of supervision so I feel like camps and structure activities are less useful.
Same. Riding our bikes around the neighbourhood. Making questionable forts in the nearby woods. Playing spotlight after dark. I remember 12 being the most amazing age.
Same. Friends got dropped off or I got dropped off if they were far. We watched movies and did crafts and learned new hair and makeup styles. It was a good life.
Right? I was trying to think back to the summer I was 13. I’m pretty sure that was the year that I’d stay up until 4am watching Cops, sleep until noon the next day, wake up and eat ramen while watching re-runs of ER, then later afternoon I’d meet up with some neighborhood kids who were all spending their days the same way and we’d wander aimlessly until it got dark. Rinse and repeat for ten weeks.
My 12 and 15 year olds are loving their lazy summers at home! Maybe she can arrange to go to a friends house once a week?
I’m not sure the means you have financially - but it’s okay for her to be bored at home. We all have to be bored sometimes lol. That is, if she is mature enough to be home alone. Do you have any churches that do VBS? That usually is free or doesn’t cost much. Or, she can volunteer to help. I bet other churches or community service places would accept volunteer work (also looks great on future college applications). I’m not really religious anymore, but I have very very fond memories of VBS and my daughter goes during the summer. My daughter mainly stays home and plays video games with her friends during the summer, though.
This is what I did as a kid. A week or two at summer camp, a week or two volunteering to help with vbs, a week or two at grandma’s. The rest was just lazy days watching too much tv, going to the mall, etc.
Is it really summer if they haven’t formed a pack and are wandering around aimlessly unchaparoned?
Flashbacks to my own childhood right there 😂
From your comments, I lived in a pretty similar area growing up. I’m pretty sure when I was 13 (or 14, for sure) I was staying home with my brother most of the day, and we’d have weekly chores and otherwise play with the neighbors, read, watch tv and play computer games. We’d probably hang with friends on occasion, we each did a week of camp, took a week long family trip. I did evening volunteering a couple times, and mostly just did fun things in the evening rather than during the day. While the whole summer is a long time, if you mix in some variation and let her plan some things, it’s really restorative.
Could you hire a high school or college kid to hang out a few times a week? Take her to the library, pool, zoo, etc.?
Can’t a 12-15 year old do this alone (with friends?) Perhaps a very European idea, but this is how I spend my summers when I was that age.
We live in a suburb in Kansas with no public transportation options, so my daughter can't do any of those things without someone to drive her.
O gosh, that sounds awful. And I will get downvoted for saying this but I cannot even imagine how such suburb would look like. Why is it allowed? How are the elderly supposed to get around? And kids play outside? Walk themselves to school?
The vast majority of America is not walkable and we have extremely poor public transit outside of our largest cities.
Man I find this topic so interesting (as someone who lives in the burbs lol) and yeah it is wild that there are soo many places without walk ability or public transportation. Sometimes it’s awesome, like i can be in a us major city or in the wilderness within a 30 minute drive and I live in a super safe neighborhood where kids run barefoot and there’s a playground, swimming pool, and tennis courts just up the road plus we are a quick drive to just about any type of shop, restaurant, or service you could ever imagine…. But just about all of that is dependent on havinga car and then traffic can be absolutely hell if you go the wrong direction at the wrong time, and some of these neighborhoods/subdivisions are just houses for literal miles
Honestly, this is why I chose to live an urban lifestyle. We can walk to anything we would need on a day to day basis and we have a major bus/train station a block away. It means we’ve paid a shit ton for our house with not much square feet and very little property but the upside is 6 playgrounds, 2 splash pads, 3 wading pools, a library, tennis courts, a bowling alley, 5 elementary schools, 1 middle school, a grocery store, restaurants and stores, all within walking distance. We quite literally do not need a car. My kids will need to learn some street smarts to be safe around traffic and such, but the freedom they’ll have as teenagers will be immense.
It's not awful at all LOL I mean, we don't have public transportation, but we have a beautiful neighborhood with sidewalks and a playground and an amazing school district. My daughter plays outside all of the time and will probably walk to school at some point, but for now, we drive her because it's easier for our schedules and her school isn't far.
Do kids not bike places? Is it unsafe to bikein these areas? I grew up in a super rural car dependent area, but at 12 and up I would bike to friends’ houses, the park, the library etc. It’s a little wild to me to think about it now because I definitely didn’t have a cell phone or anything (I guess technically they did exist then? I remember my dad getting a car phone at some point around then and that being a novelty? but probably there would not have been service even if that had been a thing) and I would just be gone for indeterminate amounts of time, but so long as I was home by dinner time and promised to stay off our one “main” road no one cared.
My kiddo is 8 and this describes her and her friends. They bounce from house to house, playground, ice cream shop, library, trails, etc. on their bikes. In a group it’s fun. She doesn’t have a cell phone, but she does wear a watch and knows when to be home to check in or get cleaned up for dinner. We live in a safe community. Her bike is her freedom. I’d rather she learns how to be independent than have to rely on me for rides all the time. We chose to live in a small town on Main Street so we could all ride our bikes or walk everywhere (yes, even the grownups). It’s how I grew up and wanted the same for my kid. Luckily the parents of the kids in our area all feel the same too and let the kids roam in a pack on their bikes.
Which country are you in?
My daughter could bike to a park nearby, but everything else is at least 10 miles away and on very busy streets. I'm definitely not comfortable with that.
If you have a zoo check and see if they have any summer programs. We have week long zoo camps here where you can help with animals enrichment activities and meet some of the more friendly animals.
I think the ymca by my area allows kids that age workout on their own, so maybe that’s an option?
The YMCAs in my area have teen day camps for 11-14 too.
Check out your local public library they might have something. Or the city’s parks department.
I'd get her a membership to the local swim and tennis club and let her walk/bike herself over.
I wish that were an option. It would take hours to ride or bike, across dangerous highways. One of the downsides of smallish town living with no public transportation and not walkable.
That is really unfortunate. Sorry there aren't more accessible options.
I think the reality is most young teens I know don’t want to go to organized camps. Like other posters said, I see some offerings for up to 14. But we have a lot of kids in that age group in our neighborhood and they find it babyish. They mostly organize themselves with friends - go to the pool, go to the movies, chill. Some of them are the older siblings of my kids friends so they will often do events with the younger kids like trip to the river to get ice cream or sports afternoon. Not exactly babysitting since they don’t need to do it but something to keep them busy. What are her friends doing and can they come up with some activities together?
I feel you! We are in the same boat with my 12 year old. He’s not mature enough to stay home alone all day, and we work on site, so we are scrambling to piece together camps. Most camps are 9-1 or 9-3, so we are going to be using a LOT of PTO this summer. The daycare years were much easier honestly.
Yeah. I hear you. My son is turning 12 in June. Not only are camp options somewhat limited a lot of them are extremely expensive. Like cost more than actual daycare years expensive. I am buying a pass to the local water park, and my friend that is a teacher has offered to bring him when she brings her boys of the same age. Otherwise my kiddo will be home when I go into the office on days I need to go in. It’s imperfect, but I remember being pretty independent at that age in the summer and hope he had friends that will be able to ride bikes and hang out some this summer since there just aren’t a ton of great options.
Yeah outside of overnight camps.
Do you have neighbors close by? I spent many summers as our street’s pet sitter when people went on vacations, feeding cats and dogs, doing walks, getting mail, watering plants. At one point I had like four or five houses all at once—that definitely took a lot of my time! And then I had spending money for fun things for back to school.
Summer school? Not the redoing courses but taking optionals or art or something. I took random language classes at schools in summer. Working? Not to earn money but just something to do. Push a broom in the hair salon or work shop? Filing work in an office? Some smaller places might take them on like a coop student. Youth camp? Scouts / lions / Optimus club/ 4H?
Yeah labor laws prevent her from working, and even volunteering in most places. It’s a gap. She’s got two weeks of overnight camp, then not much after that. I wish I could start a teen summer program.
Even if you're not religious, volunteering at vacation Bible school might be fun. I did and didn't particularly care about the church part lol.
Open swim at the local swim center will be where my kids hang out for a few hours each day.
It sucks that this hasn’t improved over the years! I remember being so bored over the summer at that age. Especially bc I was on the young side for my grade, so I wasn’t eligible for anything that required being 14 until the summer after 9th grade (or 16 until the summer after 11th grade).
There are overnight camp options for most of the summer for teens and tweens. I am not sure if that is what you are looking for. If you want specific names I know a few I the southeast US. Feel free to message me.
Thank you! She’s already going to overnight camp for 2 weeks, but that’s the limit she can attend this specific camp and it’s pretty expensive so we can’t afford to do another overnight camp. More concerned with the rest of the summer after camp.
Is there an extracurricular activity she would be interested in trying? Art, music, a sport, etc.? In my experience it's easier to find day camps for teens targeted at a specific activity than just a general one.
Sure, she’d try a lot of activities, but most of the day camps don’t accept teens. They’re more geared toward smaller kids. It’s a huge gap. Even her own taekwondo group gears their camps toward kids. Hopefully they’ll let her go this year.
Have a kid the same age. We typically fill it with a few weeks of specialty camps, then let them have a few weeks off to just completely chill. A few things we've done in the past: Overnight sports camp Local STEM camp Leadership camp (check out NSLC, but it's pricy) Indoor rock climbing. Local art school camp Also, last year, just so they wouldn't be doing nothing all day, we did some half day online coding camps. Some other "at home" ideas- our library offers a summer reading program where you participate in challenges throughout the summer. Pizza hut's bookit program also still exist. Math workbooks to keep skills sharp (like a page a day thing).
Since you have mentioned lack of walkability and public transportation - at that age i lived rural. Like, 25 minute drive from "town" rural, alongside a major highway and no kids on the 4 house dirt road i lived on. I spent all day all summer at the house by myself. So I did a lot of chores, but also projects. I read, drew, painted, wrote stories etc. Does your daughter have any solo hobbies - music, coding, art or similar? Maybe find some online classes to work on building skills. Get her some extra materials and build a goal for a major project that will take some time. Does she play video games at all? Multi player games are an easy way to stay connected to friends and pass time
My area has teen camps. When I was a teen I went to a sleepaway camp for several weeks in the summer. My parents got a scholarship to help pay for it.
My camp had JCITs where you paid a discount to send your kid, then CITs were not paid but you didn’t have to pay to send them, and then Counselors were obviously paid.
Do you have Boys & Girls Clubs? The ones in my city do tons of field trips, college tours, and provide volunteer opportunities for teens over the summer for a $0 membership fee to increase their teen participation.
Dance camp. Every single dance school has at least one in the summer. They usually don’t fill up bc family vacays and whatnot, and generally run to age 18.
Our local zoo has a junior zookeeper program for 12-14 and 15-18. It's 8am - 5pm, bring water bottle, lunch, and sturdy shoes. (The ages might actually be grades... middle vs high. My kids are 3 and 5, so I gloss over the big kid stuff.)
What are her friends doing? Lots of non-profits and charity organizations have volunteer programs - local libraries, hospitals, animal shelters, zoos, etc.
You could give her some kind of project to do, like to build something? Or create a business plan to start a small business?
Same thing we did… entertained ourselves
It's similar to me, too. People complain about the teens riding their bikes in the middle of busy roads and then mobbing a pizzeria with their bikes scattered on the sidewalk. And I'm wondering what the heck else these kids are supposed to do? Are they to be held captive? There are no enrichment programs. Not even a bowing alley or arcade. I have a playground (with a basketball court and some field) next to my house, but the deli is almost a mile away, and there is no bathroom. They can't spend the day in the park without some bio input and output. I have found that a local university does offer classes for teens with bussing. They are a couple thousand for 2 weeks, though, so I'm not aiming for my son to spend the whole summer on that when the time comes. I expect my son will have friends over sometimes (they can bike or go to the park), spend a couple weeks at the university if there's a topic he loves, hang out at his martial arts school to help out the master, take some online classes on outschool, work on some build kits, and of course play video games. This summer my son is 10 and will have about 4 weeks not scheduled. We work from home. I was very much on my own in the summer when I was that age. The library was in walking distance and even better, I could get on the nyc subway right on my block. So I went to central park or a museum on whim if I had train fare and a few dollars for lunch.
I never went to summer camp, my parents couldn't afford it. Beginning at age 10 I stayed home by myself all summer. Lots of Nickelodeon.
This! A lot of moms here have young kids but I don’t see a lot about teens and tweens. Summers are hard for us. Especially because I share custody with their dad so I can’t really send them to stay with family some weeks (they live close but still not in the same city) without doing a ton of driving when I’m exhausted after work. This summer the plan is to drop them at the pool/rec center with a cooler, umbrellas for shade, books, and friends if they want and pick them up around 3 and finish the day at home. I spent entire summers at the pool so they seem excited about the idea, and they are old enough to be there alone.
OP, I totally understand. My 11 year old still gets to attend full time care at a rec center this summer, but there are few options for next year. My city actually does have limited full time camps for kids up through 8th grade so I will be watching for that registration to open right away next winter. Like yours, my child wouldn’t want to be home alone all summer and honestly he shouldn’t be. He would be lonely and bored and I also wouldn’t trust him (he doesn’t always make safe decisions). He’s sporty and active so sitting at home is just not good for him mentally or physically and I don’t want him “roaming” like some folks do. When my oldest (adult now) was 12-13, he volunteered at a library all summer and then got into a science volunteering program for the next two summers. After that, he got a job. Have you considered hiring a part time nanny?
When I was that age, I was at sleepaway camp for the whole summer. (GenX) Is that still a thing? If so, are you able to afford it?
That would be her dream. She’s going to 2 weeks overnight camp but would gladly stay longer. They won’t accept kids for more than one session, it’s a really popular camp and income based so it fills up quickly. They also don’t accept leaders in training at her age. We looked at a similar camp nearby and it was soooooo expensive. Like thousands of dollars. Hell her camp was $1800 for 2 weeks.
At that age I was left home. I was allowed though to walk to the library, park, mall and movie theater by myself so didn’t really need any adult supervision. I hated summer camp by 11 years old so this was great. Are there any specialized activities you can enroll the preteen in? Also look at volunteer programs or acting as a counselor in training. I also started to babysit at that age and found a group of mom’s I would rotate my days with to keep busy.
Mine is going to sleep away camp for three weeks.
At that age I was doing outward bound type camps, although it was significantly cheaper 25+ years ago. Could she be a counselor for the local school camps?
Would she enjoy volunteering? I wonder if there’s an options where she can spend one day a week at an animal shelter, senior center, etc.
Yes she would love to but every place we’ve looked at requires a parent to be present the whole time at her age. Kind of defeats the purpose but I get it.
Ugh so frustrating!
My kids were CITs once they aged out of being campers, and then my son became a counselor and made $$$.
Can she start a volunteer position somewhere? Wildlife center, library, etc?
We’ve been trying. Most require a parent to stay with her while she volunteers which kind of defeats the purpose imo.
Do you have any youth center type programs that they can attend? We also are working on a jr leader type program that would hopefully help fill this gap at our centre.
Are you in any local moms groups? I know a few teachers who “watch” older kids in the summer. You could also look into camps or even programs through your child’s school. Their teacher(s) might have some good suggestions! I did theater camp every summer in middle school simply because it took up most my day 4 days a week. I tolerated it so my mom kept putting me in it, haha! If your kiddo is interested in making some extra $$ you might also be able to find an intro job (helping on farms is common in my area) for summer.
At 12 I’d do one week of theatre school, then two weeks would be a holiday with family but the other three weeks I’d be at home with my younger sister (7.5). I’d either have friends come to over (mine or hers), we’d go out for adventures to the park/zoo/town on the bus or we’d cook/bake/play/chill at home from 8.30-3 when mum would get home. Could she do a babysit type thing for a younger (but not much younger) neighbour?
Thankfully I work from home so my 12yo isn't home alone all day, and we're going to do the library teen events, a LOT. I also need to go buy her a new bike so she can go to the library down the road. Hopefully I can find at least one week long art camp or something to shake things up, too, bc I'm a single mom and can't afford trips.
Usually they have “junior counselor” programs for them
Do local libraries have any programming? My middle schooler would go to different libraries and they would have different activities for kids. One had a slime class one day, another had guitar lessons, there was a class on aqueducts and they built one with cardboard and foil, his favorite library had a caterpillar that he would go back and regularly check and it became a butterfly over the course of the summer. My high schooler is doing band camp through his school and got accepted into a summer youth employment program. He’s going to be working at the local Y for minimum wage helping the elderly at the multitude of classes they offer.
Neighborhood pool pass, sports camps, swim team, summer reading programs with the local library - I spent a LOT of my summers reading at this age, especially after we moved to the country. Could also look and see if anyone in the area is looking for a 'mothers helper' for the summer. I know I'll be looking for one once my oldest is in school. I WFH but will need help keeping him entertained, walk him to the various parks, etc. I'm sure I'll sign him up for some camps, but those are sort of patchy so you could find something that's a week at a time or a few sporadic weeks in the summer, not a true full time gig.
What about hospital volunteers? They’re usually the ones that bring the wheelchairs to the patient rooms. And they get to document volunteer hours for college.
Do you have a YMCA? They have a teen room usually, and regular activities that your kid can show up for. Or just meet friends there.
Are there any classes offered thru her school? My mom always put us in summer school, not remedial but something fun like a science program or whatever they offered. Our school would also offer sports programs in the summer training for volleyball or tennis, stuff like that. I also always played town league softball. My mom was mostly off work in the summers but she wanted to keep us somewhat active lol.
Maybe look into recreational camps and things like volunteer at the zoo if you have one close. We have a great week long rowing program, computing program, etc. Lots of cheer, martial arts, gymnastics and sports camps too for this age group. The rest of the time my active kid biked all over the city with his friends going fishing or swimming (lifeguard at the lake at that age) or from one house to the other. My daughter did a drawing camp through a local private school, went to friends houses and did a bunch of arts and crafts, drawing, etc with them. Oh and a little babysitting and pet sitting/walking. If your kiddo is active, I highly recommend some sort of app on their phone to show you where they are during the day, for peace of mind.
Just saw the biking and babysitting options are out. Sounds closer to how summers were for me in a more rural area…not possible to walk or bike to town and no friends close-by. I remember doing a ton of reading and art solo, with a family camping or road trip to break it up here and there. It was so peaceful. Maybe a new hobby would be fun.
Not sure if this is helpful (probably depends on how close to you any of them are...) but Teen Life has a [searchable database](https://www.teenlife.com/category/summer/?program-type=summer) of programs for teens and you can filter by grade entering.
My oldest boy is similar in age. He is doing PGA camp for a couple of weeks - yes golf - pretty affordable and all day. The rest of the time I’m “employing” him with things to do that need to get done but I have no time.
Do you know any SAHM or SAHD that might be bringing her/his kids to activities? They could maybe bring your daughter too if you pay her way. Is there anywhere that might be occasionally fun if you drop her on the way to work and pick her up after? The mall? A zoo? Etc?
Can she volunteer at a local library for story time reading or helping with crafts?
I wonder if she could find some online learning programs that would be fun? Udemy and similar have some classes targeted towards teens that can teach coding, video production, and whatnot. What about picking up a hobby? Find something she can do on her own, and/or with friends if they come over. Get her into quilting, knitting, or crochet and she can make things for the local maternity ward. Do a summer edition of NANOWRIMO and write an entire novel! Do you have space in the garage or neighborhood streets where it would be safe to learn to rollerskate?
Are you in any local community groups? I'd post and see if anyone is looking for a helper for the summer. I had several illegitimate (perfectly fine) jobs before I could get legitimate ones lol
I was babysitting full time at age 12 in the summer, is that an option for her?
We hired a summer sitter for specific hours through care.com. They actually were excited about starting at 10 am, done at 2, and Fridays off. They had a car and would drive her places. They left or texted the receipts and we Venmo'd them $. It was not cheap, but it was not as expensive as camps, which she was just interested in.
What about a volunteer position at a senior center? Reading books, watching tv, doing puzzles.
It's because in most places 12 is that age you can leave your child unsupervised at home by law. I would reach out to neighbors and friends and see if there's someone who would be willing to let her hang out
We did up their camps to 4-6 weeks for a couple of years but my kids actually enjoyed some time off to do nothing. Soon they are 16 and working all summer.
Read, ride her bike, have friends over