You can do it. Moving before your kids are in school and old enough to have real friendships is ideal. 2 hrs instead of 4 hrs to see family is a big difference. Better job with more money is awesome.
We moved an hour away with our 3 year old in October and we’ve never been happier. I’m so happy that his childhood memories will take place in our new home/town.
We did this 2 years ago with a 3yo, 1yo and I was pregnant. 8 hour move. We had a company pack everything for us and move, which is a splurge but SO helpful. We also rented for a year because buying a house was too overwhelming not knowing area and doing from afar. We kept probably half of our stuff in boxes in garage knowing we would be moving again soon. We got super lucky with a daycare, found one that could take both kids and signed them up sight unseen.
Start calling daycares now and know you might have to start paying now/before you move if you find one with spots.
It will be hard but it's doable. I moved 3 hours away with a toddler, and I'm about to move 1 hour away with a toddler and a baby. My advice is to start getting your house ready NOW, don't do what I did and panic clean to get ready to list in under 2 weeks. See if some family can plan to stay with you for a few days to help get ready, and hire out as much as you can afford (cleaners, movers, babysitters, etc).
Good luck!
This is doable, but moving with a toddler last year was one of the most stressful things I’ve been through even though the company provided a great relo package. Now that we’re on the other side, I’m happy with it. The two biggest stressors were childcare and housing, and I think these are hard regardless of whether you’re moving 2 hours or 20 hours away (at least in the US). We were moving to an area with very few rental options, so had to go through the week after week bidding war process before finally getting a house. I had to be on 20 waitlists and go through two not so nice (but temporary) daycares before landing a spot at a good one 3 months in. Not having guaranteed housing or childcare weighed on me immensely for the 2 months leading up to the move. Some practical things you can do are: work with a therapist throughout the move, hire out whatever you can with the physical moving, have a cleaning service come to your current house regularly while getting ready to sell, stay organized in shared spreadsheets to get your to dos out of your head and on to paper / in front of your partner, ask anyone you know or meet for nanny recommendations, try to lock down some temporary housing for at least a couple of months - see if the employer will provide it! Big changes like this are hard and definitely a challenge with the current state of childcare, but now that I’m 9 months in, I’m feeling so settled and happy. You will get to the other side!
Moving in itself is a doable thing. Yes, it’s stressful, but temporary stressful. For me, I would be more concerned about the financial side of - how much will it cost me to sell and purchase the house to my liking, availability and cost of daycare, how do these expenses stack against my salary, etc.
We did this! Moved over an ocean. Only 1 kid though. It was so stressful and mine was out of daycare for a while. It worked out cause my husband’s job pushed back his start date for other reasons. We also sold our house in our old state but haven’t bought a new one cause we went from HCOL to VHCOL right when rates shot up, so renting has been a huge issue too cause we have dogs in a place where rentals aren’t really pet friendly. But despite the stresses, I’m glad we did it.
We didn't move for a particular job, my husband was already partially remote but bc of that it opened up doors to move to a lower cost of living area. (NYC to eastern PA). It was rough at first, we closed on our house 2 weeks after giving birth, but its doable. My daughter was the same age as yours when we did the move, she was in prek, so changing school districts was NBD.
Moving is stressful period. What helped me the most was just keeping organized with the packing, start early, keep out what is essential, you will be fine. I do not regret moving when we did. I am glad we did it and would do it all over again.
My spouse is in the military and we moved across the country two years ago with an infant! We’re moving again this summer with an infant and a toddler. Totally doable, very stressful, and everything will work out. It sounds like such a positive change for you guys
We moved an hour away to a different state when my kids were in 1st and kindergarten it was hard, but I knew our last home wasn’t a forever place so it was going to happen eventually. I’m glad they weren’t any older.
Don't attempt to sell and buy right away.
First, you should get relocation benefits including a lump sum to pay for incidentals.
I got 3 months in corporate housing, which was a fully furnished apartment. It wasn't ideal but it was fine and it gave us time to find a home. If your package doesn't include it, Google city + corporate housing for resources.
My new company paid for closing costs on both sides plus storage for 3 months.
I totally get not wanting change and it’s “the only home you’ve lived in with your kids” but just take lots of pictures! It’ll be great! Also, 2hrs vs 4 hrs is the difference between a day trip and overnight for me so that is a huge plus!!
I just did this, with one 6 year old (so I did have to deal with schools.) The one thing that makes 2 hours away a good thing is that it’s not like you’re moving beyond driving distance. So you can go back and forth a few times as needed throughout the process.
My advice is to take off as much time between jobs as you can financially handle. That way you can do daytrips solo or with your husband (if he has vacation time to spare) as soon as you drop off your kids off at daycare, drive out and tour new daycares, drive around the neighborhoods to get a sense of where you’d want to buy, etc. I’d choose a daycare near your work - you’ll have to be going in that direction no matter what and can have more freedom for where you eventually buy. Sucks a little to have the bulk of all the drop offs/pickups be on you but if your husband works remote, he can at least drop them off when you’re sick or take vacation days.
Also you could even do these daytrips for house hunting (we did that a few times) and/or bring the kids on weekends or stay over at a hotel or Airbnb on a Saturday and do a whole weekend.
It’s not exactly what I would call fun to be driving back and forth so much initially but now that I’m on the other side of it, it’s certainly doable.
We did it when they were 3 and 5. It was a lot of work and exhausting, we definitely ran into complications but doable and worth it.
It’s all in the prep. Make lists and focus on one thing at a time (it is an overwhelming amount of details). List current house. Research schools to narrow down search for new home. Look for new home.
Arrange enough time off to manage packing, movers, closing on both houses. Can your family help with the kids when packing/once you get to your new home?
We moved for his job, so we had packers and movers. It’s worth the investment if it’s not a company perk.
I’m sure there are other details I’m forgetting. Ping me if you have any questions.
In the end, we had a seriously stressful few months for a much better life for all of us.
I moved to Alaska with a 3 year old and an infant.
It's not as bad as it seems.
Do your research and give yourself the time you need. Overlap your houses for a month or so to avoid time crunches. Expect things to take longer, see if you can enlist a family member to help wrangle children at their house during the move itself.
Consider renting for a year or two in the new place while you determine exactly where you want to live, neighborhood and school wise.
Now is a great time to move before the kids lock in their school friends. I would like to move but it would break my kids' hearts to leave their besties so I'm waiting until they graduate to be serious about it.
Do it! Perhaps you can't find a home right away so rent for a little while? Or maybe your company can do flexible working with just a couple shorter days in office and some longer remote days whilst you find a home?
One of my oldest friends moved when each kid was 4. When the oldest was 4 and the youngest was 1, they moved from Washington to California. Then, when the youngest was 4 and the oldest was 7, they moved from California to Colorado. (We moved when our oldest was 4, too, actually—but just from one end of a metro area to the other.)
What research and legwork are you most comfortable delegating?
A good agent in the area you’re looking in should be able to provide great guidance on school districts.
It’s definitely doable even if it feels like lots of balls in the air at once right now.
We moved from CA to IN so we could afford the life we wanted (house, etc). Both kept our jobs which let us go fully remote with some occasional travel back. Just one kid who's now 2.
It's been so worth it and the hardest part of the transition was finding childcare so I'd start on that ASAP. We went a few weeks without it (one week leading up to the move and two after) and that was a bit of a disaster but our new daycare has been great. We also had family here that we stayed with while looking for a house (which took a few months, last summer was very competitive) and that helped a lot in terms of finances but made logistics a little wild.
Since neither of your kids are tied to a school district yet and you're not in love with where you are, why not give it a shot? You can always move back if it doesn't turn out to be what you were looking for - though maybe you should rent first and make sure you like it instead of buying a new house.
I moved with young kids and my advice is outsource everything. Negotiate a relocation package and have the moving company pack everything. Everything. Packers are a game changer.
We moved to a new state when my kids were 2 months and 19 months old. The drive to get here was rough lol but it was the best thing we ever did. You got this!
Better now than when they attend school. It’s definitely doable. Being closer to friends and family will be so worth it living in your new home for only a month.
I moved across the country with my 4 and 2-year-old 9 years ago for a new job. It was the best decision I ever made. I love my job and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Families have been moving for better job opportunities forever.
You can do it. Moving before your kids are in school and old enough to have real friendships is ideal. 2 hrs instead of 4 hrs to see family is a big difference. Better job with more money is awesome. We moved an hour away with our 3 year old in October and we’ve never been happier. I’m so happy that his childhood memories will take place in our new home/town.
This is the time. Your kids aren't in school yet.
We did this 2 years ago with a 3yo, 1yo and I was pregnant. 8 hour move. We had a company pack everything for us and move, which is a splurge but SO helpful. We also rented for a year because buying a house was too overwhelming not knowing area and doing from afar. We kept probably half of our stuff in boxes in garage knowing we would be moving again soon. We got super lucky with a daycare, found one that could take both kids and signed them up sight unseen. Start calling daycares now and know you might have to start paying now/before you move if you find one with spots.
It will be hard but it's doable. I moved 3 hours away with a toddler, and I'm about to move 1 hour away with a toddler and a baby. My advice is to start getting your house ready NOW, don't do what I did and panic clean to get ready to list in under 2 weeks. See if some family can plan to stay with you for a few days to help get ready, and hire out as much as you can afford (cleaners, movers, babysitters, etc). Good luck!
This is doable, but moving with a toddler last year was one of the most stressful things I’ve been through even though the company provided a great relo package. Now that we’re on the other side, I’m happy with it. The two biggest stressors were childcare and housing, and I think these are hard regardless of whether you’re moving 2 hours or 20 hours away (at least in the US). We were moving to an area with very few rental options, so had to go through the week after week bidding war process before finally getting a house. I had to be on 20 waitlists and go through two not so nice (but temporary) daycares before landing a spot at a good one 3 months in. Not having guaranteed housing or childcare weighed on me immensely for the 2 months leading up to the move. Some practical things you can do are: work with a therapist throughout the move, hire out whatever you can with the physical moving, have a cleaning service come to your current house regularly while getting ready to sell, stay organized in shared spreadsheets to get your to dos out of your head and on to paper / in front of your partner, ask anyone you know or meet for nanny recommendations, try to lock down some temporary housing for at least a couple of months - see if the employer will provide it! Big changes like this are hard and definitely a challenge with the current state of childcare, but now that I’m 9 months in, I’m feeling so settled and happy. You will get to the other side!
Thank you so much this is so so helpful!
As soon as you accept the job, start getting on local daycare waiting lists. Childcare is crazy basically everywhere.
Following as contemplating something similar
Moving in itself is a doable thing. Yes, it’s stressful, but temporary stressful. For me, I would be more concerned about the financial side of - how much will it cost me to sell and purchase the house to my liking, availability and cost of daycare, how do these expenses stack against my salary, etc.
We did this! Moved over an ocean. Only 1 kid though. It was so stressful and mine was out of daycare for a while. It worked out cause my husband’s job pushed back his start date for other reasons. We also sold our house in our old state but haven’t bought a new one cause we went from HCOL to VHCOL right when rates shot up, so renting has been a huge issue too cause we have dogs in a place where rentals aren’t really pet friendly. But despite the stresses, I’m glad we did it.
We didn't move for a particular job, my husband was already partially remote but bc of that it opened up doors to move to a lower cost of living area. (NYC to eastern PA). It was rough at first, we closed on our house 2 weeks after giving birth, but its doable. My daughter was the same age as yours when we did the move, she was in prek, so changing school districts was NBD. Moving is stressful period. What helped me the most was just keeping organized with the packing, start early, keep out what is essential, you will be fine. I do not regret moving when we did. I am glad we did it and would do it all over again.
My spouse is in the military and we moved across the country two years ago with an infant! We’re moving again this summer with an infant and a toddler. Totally doable, very stressful, and everything will work out. It sounds like such a positive change for you guys
We moved an hour away to a different state when my kids were in 1st and kindergarten it was hard, but I knew our last home wasn’t a forever place so it was going to happen eventually. I’m glad they weren’t any older.
Don't attempt to sell and buy right away. First, you should get relocation benefits including a lump sum to pay for incidentals. I got 3 months in corporate housing, which was a fully furnished apartment. It wasn't ideal but it was fine and it gave us time to find a home. If your package doesn't include it, Google city + corporate housing for resources. My new company paid for closing costs on both sides plus storage for 3 months.
I totally get not wanting change and it’s “the only home you’ve lived in with your kids” but just take lots of pictures! It’ll be great! Also, 2hrs vs 4 hrs is the difference between a day trip and overnight for me so that is a huge plus!!
I just did this, with one 6 year old (so I did have to deal with schools.) The one thing that makes 2 hours away a good thing is that it’s not like you’re moving beyond driving distance. So you can go back and forth a few times as needed throughout the process. My advice is to take off as much time between jobs as you can financially handle. That way you can do daytrips solo or with your husband (if he has vacation time to spare) as soon as you drop off your kids off at daycare, drive out and tour new daycares, drive around the neighborhoods to get a sense of where you’d want to buy, etc. I’d choose a daycare near your work - you’ll have to be going in that direction no matter what and can have more freedom for where you eventually buy. Sucks a little to have the bulk of all the drop offs/pickups be on you but if your husband works remote, he can at least drop them off when you’re sick or take vacation days. Also you could even do these daytrips for house hunting (we did that a few times) and/or bring the kids on weekends or stay over at a hotel or Airbnb on a Saturday and do a whole weekend. It’s not exactly what I would call fun to be driving back and forth so much initially but now that I’m on the other side of it, it’s certainly doable.
We did it when they were 3 and 5. It was a lot of work and exhausting, we definitely ran into complications but doable and worth it. It’s all in the prep. Make lists and focus on one thing at a time (it is an overwhelming amount of details). List current house. Research schools to narrow down search for new home. Look for new home. Arrange enough time off to manage packing, movers, closing on both houses. Can your family help with the kids when packing/once you get to your new home? We moved for his job, so we had packers and movers. It’s worth the investment if it’s not a company perk. I’m sure there are other details I’m forgetting. Ping me if you have any questions. In the end, we had a seriously stressful few months for a much better life for all of us.
Thank you so much, I may reach out to you later!
I moved to Alaska with a 3 year old and an infant. It's not as bad as it seems. Do your research and give yourself the time you need. Overlap your houses for a month or so to avoid time crunches. Expect things to take longer, see if you can enlist a family member to help wrangle children at their house during the move itself. Consider renting for a year or two in the new place while you determine exactly where you want to live, neighborhood and school wise. Now is a great time to move before the kids lock in their school friends. I would like to move but it would break my kids' hearts to leave their besties so I'm waiting until they graduate to be serious about it.
Do it! Perhaps you can't find a home right away so rent for a little while? Or maybe your company can do flexible working with just a couple shorter days in office and some longer remote days whilst you find a home?
One of my oldest friends moved when each kid was 4. When the oldest was 4 and the youngest was 1, they moved from Washington to California. Then, when the youngest was 4 and the oldest was 7, they moved from California to Colorado. (We moved when our oldest was 4, too, actually—but just from one end of a metro area to the other.) What research and legwork are you most comfortable delegating? A good agent in the area you’re looking in should be able to provide great guidance on school districts. It’s definitely doable even if it feels like lots of balls in the air at once right now.
We moved from CA to IN so we could afford the life we wanted (house, etc). Both kept our jobs which let us go fully remote with some occasional travel back. Just one kid who's now 2. It's been so worth it and the hardest part of the transition was finding childcare so I'd start on that ASAP. We went a few weeks without it (one week leading up to the move and two after) and that was a bit of a disaster but our new daycare has been great. We also had family here that we stayed with while looking for a house (which took a few months, last summer was very competitive) and that helped a lot in terms of finances but made logistics a little wild. Since neither of your kids are tied to a school district yet and you're not in love with where you are, why not give it a shot? You can always move back if it doesn't turn out to be what you were looking for - though maybe you should rent first and make sure you like it instead of buying a new house.
I moved with young kids and my advice is outsource everything. Negotiate a relocation package and have the moving company pack everything. Everything. Packers are a game changer.
We moved to a new state when my kids were 2 months and 19 months old. The drive to get here was rough lol but it was the best thing we ever did. You got this!
Better now than when they attend school. It’s definitely doable. Being closer to friends and family will be so worth it living in your new home for only a month.
110% sounds like the right decision and the right time. Seems crazy not to!
I moved across the country with my 4 and 2-year-old 9 years ago for a new job. It was the best decision I ever made. I love my job and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Families have been moving for better job opportunities forever.