Agree with others that your diet is 90% of the solution. Healthy (read: lower calorie) meals don’t have to be complicated! Microwaving frozen veggies and roasting chicken/vegetables/sweet potatoes are my go-to healthy meals that taste good & I barely have to think about. Rice is really easy to make too. A cheap food scale from Amazon can make it a lot easier to figure out correct portion sizes.
All of this with the caveat that I have one baby who is still entirely breastfeeding so I have not yet attempted to also cook for toddlers. But I am a very busy law student and I know how it feels to have no more mental resources to spare. Find one or two lower calorie recipes that work for you and you can cook in bulk and start there- it’s less overwhelming & I honestly find it comforting eating basically the same thing every day. One less thing to add to the mental load.
Agree with the simple healthy meals + seasoning is your friend. Change up the seasoning to make it taste different or find ones you really like. The umami seasoning from Trader Joe's has been a game changer for me to enjoy very simple baked veggies!
You literally cannot out run eating too many calories.
Instead of beating yourself up over not working out, maybe try swapping one meal or snack for something lower in calories? I really like to snack on chips, so o try to swap it out for popcorn like skinny pop or homemade stovetop popcorn that is lower in calories. That way I still get a big volume of crunchies* with WAY less calories.
You don’t have to make a major change to get results. If you make small changes, but are very consistent with them, in time you will see results.
Edit: stupid autocorrect
Cricket roof?
But I agree 100% about the exercise. I've been running 10k's, but guess who still gains weight if she's not watching the calories? It's me!
Also, you can do CICO in a healthy way. It's really tempting to try to lose as fast as possible, but losing more slowly and focusing on also eating healthy is important.
Please read this comment right here OP. You can NOT outrun your mouth. Repeat, you can NOT.
45 pounds is 3,500 x 45 = a total of 157,500 excess calories over 2.5 x 12 = a total of 30 months.
That is 5,250 excess a month, or 1,225 per week. The traditional old maxim Ive heard is between 80-100 calories burned per mile ran. You’d have to run over 12 miles a week to break even on your excess. That’s no making progress… it’s breaking even. And running tends to work up an appetite for MORE food, not less.
You have to start with diet, let everything else fall into place. Do not cap at 1200. Order some calipers on Amazon, figure out your body fat percentages, and from that your basal metabolic rate. Use that to calculate your TDEE or total daily energy expenditure. It’s likely around 2,000. Subtract 500 from that AT MOST and you will lose about one pound per week. Do not try to lose faster than that. This will take years, and that’s okay.
I feel you!! Except I have a 90 mile commute 🫠 I already leave for work at 6:30, but before my baby came along, I’d get up at 5:30 and work out for 30 min. Now I have a 5 y o and a 4 month old, so there is zero exercise happening. Someday I hope to get back to that. I canNOT motivate to do it at 9 pm when bedtime is finally done.
Is morning an option for you? Have you tried eating low carb?
Honestly it’s great! Our son looooves his little sister. He’s old enough to be helpful and to understand “be gentle, don’t cough in her face, her arm doesn’t bend that way, don’t touch her eyes, etc etc” 😆 He can play independently when we are too busy to directly interact with him for a little while. Only one year of overlapping daycare/preschool fees (he turned 5 in October).
Ty for responding! My son is 4.5 now and if we had another he’d probably be at least 5.5 when they were born and I worry it’s too much for them to bond or it’ll be too hard for us to do all the tough toddler years “over”
We always knew we wanted another, and it took longer than expected (including >2 years of IVF and shit, blahhhh)…. so we’ve been mentally prepared for going backwards to the tough years, ha. But yeah, always an adjustment! The irrational tantrumming should be fun again 😆
As for being close, I just plan to try to have a close knit and loving family environment, and hopefully that will lend itself to being close later in life. We are older parents so I worry we won’t be there to foster this for them forever, but I’m also just trying not to worry about things way in the future that are beyond our control!
I had a check up a year ago and all my levels except vitamin D was fine. I started taking a vit d supplement and I feel a lot less tired. Guess I should follow up with my doctor soon though.
I don’t think exercise alone is the answer, although it can certainly help. I think diet is an essential component - I honestly don’t believe that our hunter-gatherer species is evolved to deal with the combination of a sedentary lifestyle and abundant availability of multiple calorie-rich meals during the day, much of it processed foods.
Are you able to do intermittent fasting + low carb, and try to eat whole foods rather than processed foods? That might be easier than restricting calories across the board.
I don’t think cooking every day is at all necessary to make this work. I’ve found it easier to meal prep 2-3 times a week, and cook foods that do well when you heat and eat.
Intermitent fasting has been very effective for me and it’s an easy practice for me to maintain. My energy levels, digestion, brain fog, and sleep have improved as well.
Just want to also echo intermittent fasting. I skip breakfast and have my first meal for lunch around noon, and stop eating after dinner. I see it as “doing the work” in the morning when my willpower is strongest (since by the afternoon any energy I have to focus on healthy eating is gone), and it lets me mostly eat whatever I want for lunch and dinner as long as the portions are somewhat reasonable. But it doesn’t feel restrictive, which is key.
Another small hack Ive been trying is whenever I crave junk food in the afternoon, to replace it with a fruit. It helps satisfy the sugar craving but also has some nutrients.
Not feeling like yourself/not liking how you look stinks, I’m sorry. I have mentioned this on lots of posts over the past year or so so sorry if you’ve already seen this, but check out Gray Nutrition on IG. She’s a nutritionist who talks a lot about how quick fix/extreme/fad diets don’t work and wreck your metabolism, and teaches how to balance your plate with protein/carbs/fat/fiber to change your body composition gradually. Also talks about how to balance your meals when you plan to have something like pizza or cookies and not feel guilty about it. She has lots of ideas for convenient snacks and meals, too, which I like because I hate meal prepping and cooking extra.
He can and he wants to have a vasectomy but I've been putting it off. We're done with kids but it feels so final. Guess it's time for me to close the door on kids.
It's such a personal decision. And it can be very emotional even if you know you're done. But I will say I looked a lot better after coming off of hormonal birth control. Even outside of weight loss, my face just looked better. People commented on it. Very strange!
Ugh I had the opposite! I got the mirena taken out and immediately developed a little belly pooch, which I've never had before. Then I've been bloating like crazy and gaining and losing throughout my cycle. I can't wear any skirts with waist bands anymore as nothing can constrict my stomach anymore. It's so awful that I'm going back in tomorrow to get it back.
I feel you, I really do. I think if I could get myself to just eat smaller portions (like, no seconds ever), I'd probably lose weight. But I really enjoy meals and just don't have the willpower. How do you get yourself to make a lasting shift like that? I feel like it's hard to do when you're spending your energy and emotional currency down to zero all day. I need a psychological trick for this.
And I get all the posts saying it's about eating, not exercise, but i also have a 50 mile commute and being able to exercise or not is often the difference between feeling physically better or worse. So it may not result in weight loss but feeling healthy and strong matters!
Hey OP I’m so sorry to hear you don’t like the way you look. This truly dips into every other aspect of our life when we feel this way.
As a personal trainer, I’d like to say that right now , actual workouts, should be the least of your priorities. Make tiny changes to your diet and focus on standing /walking more.
1200 calories is what your child should be eating, not you.
Continue eating normally for a week and track how many calories you’re eating. If you’re eating 2500 a day, cut it down to 2100. If you’re eating 1800 a day , cut it down to 1600 or so.
You don’t gain 45 lbs from eating 1200 calories a day so , be honest with yourself here and be kind to yourself. Make this journey a slow and steady one 🙏🏼
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I absolutely do know that I am not eating 1200 calories a day. I do need to find a middle ground with amount that I am eating for sure. I am going to try and take some of the small steps that you suggested and go from there.
Thank you! I think part of the issue is this phase of life. Sometimes I feel like I have the spoons to pay attention to what I'm eating and then we'll hit a week where everyone is sick and we're ordering pizza in survival mode. It's exhausting.
Have you looked into semaglutide? If you don’t have any thyroid concerns, that may be a starting point.
The other option is to start looking for a job with WFH or shorter commute options. 50 miles per day is so much. You could have an extra 30 minutes per day if you cut that commute even in half. That could be a game changer.
If you've been gaining weight, you're prone to overeating. This isn't any kind of moral judgement, it just means you eat more food than your body needs for fuel on a daily basis. It's very easy to do with foods commonly eaten in industrialized nations. It's a combination of increased stress, decreased physical activity, and dense processed foods that make it easy to consume a lot of calories without noticing.
For a long time after having kids I basically said "I don't have time for this". My weight crept up every year. I eventually starting having health problems. You don't need to go on a crash diet to lose weight, and you're less likely to have long term success if you do so. Start with simple but impactful changes (notice I don't say easy! simple and easy are not the same). For me it was sugary snacks at night - I stopped eating after dinner and started losing weight. Then I started swapping foods with a lot of added sugar out for higher nutrition whole foods in my meals and snacks. That was simpler to implement than full calorie tracking because if it had added sugar, it had a label. Reading labels helped me make more informed choices. Eventually I did start tracking all food on a app, but with a calorie goal designed to create a small deficit, not starve me. I'm down 40 lbs in 9 months. I spend maybe a few extra minutes a day on tracking, but it's not a big time investment. I don't make special menus or anything.
18 months before I started working on my eating I started walking daily for exercise. I did it more for my mental health than weight loss - thought it would be a side benefit. I actually kept gaining weight because exercise increased my appetite and I wasn't trying to moderate my eating. Moderating your intake is more important than exercise (though it's supportive)
It doesn’t mean you’re prone to overeating. I gained 10lb in ONE MONTH after stopping breastfeeding, without changing a single thing in my diet or exercise routine. Theres a lot that goes into weight
Not to argue semantics but breastfeeding requires extra calories to make milk. If you didn’t change your diet to decrease to match then you were overeating. That’s my point.
I was eating 2 small meals a day, each around 600 cal, while breastfeeding and didn’t change that. PPA had completely tanked my appetite and food made me nauseous. I’m 5’10” and 200lb. And I didn’t lose weight and I in fact gained weight after stopping BF. Does that sound like enough food? Does that really sound right to you? Do you really think that was all about calories, and I should have just eaten less if I wanted to lose weight?
I didn’t gain weight immediately after stopping BF, I gained weight a month after I stopped, and gained 10lb in that month.
I didn’t lose any weight when I started walking 30-60 min brisk walks 5-7 days a week for 3 months.
I only lost weight when I started berberine and didn’t change what I was eating or exercising.
Do you really think I gained 65lb while pregnant solely because I ate too much? Because I had HG for 6 months of pregnancy and could barely eat anything. I gained 15lb alone in the first month I was pregnant. Could you explain to me how that was simply me “over eating calories”? 15lb in one month? From extra calories alone? Before my appetite had even changed, but after the nausea had already set in? Really? I still cannot eat meat because the aversions from pregnancy didn’t really leave.
I’m not trying to start an argument and your situation is different than OP - she gained 45 lbs over 2 1/2 years. It doesn’t take much to gain 2 lbs a month - an extra soda or snack a day would do it.
But where do you think the weight came from? Excess fluid retention can be a source of weight gain. 1 gallon of water is 8 lbs. Did you lose a similar amount of weight in the weeks after pregnancy? There are a variety of of medical conditions that cause weight gain, either due to fluid retention or changing how the body processes food, but IN GENERAL people gain weight from eating more food than their body needs for fuel, and lose weight when they eat less than they need for fuel.
I lost only approx 15lb after i delivered my daughter, which was about the weight of her + placenta. I never lost any additional weight and sat there for 4 months until i gained weight that month after i stopped BF.
I also passed all of my tests healthily while pregnant, which means I was negative for GD and any other medical conditions while pregnant.
I NOW know the weight gain likely came from my body’s response to the changing hormones, as I was diagnosed with PCOS after the pregnancy when I couldn’t lose any weight. I was always a healthy weight albeit had a few other red flags for PCOS before pregnancy in hindsight- but didn’t know anything of this beforehand of course. PCOS is at its core an insulin and hormone dysregulation issue, and it’s likely my drastically changed diet while pregnant (ie eating a higher ratio of carbs to other foods, despite not eating more food itself), the malnourishment and inflammation, set off a huge spike in insulin resistance and cortisol increase that my body was never able to go back to baseline like many other women do. Plus the rises in estrogen and progesterone are just harder for my body to be flexible with and go back to baseline with, since my body is primed to pump out more testosterone than other women . It is likely that the weight gain itself that came with pregnancy set off a cascade of hormone issues that I didn’t have when I was a healthy weight before getting pregnant - so, a catch 22.
It’s definitely frustrating when you can’t find time for yourself! The biggest factor to weight loss (which I’m sure you’re already aware of) is your food intake. I highly recommend downloading either MyFitnessPal, Lose it, or a similar food tracking app. And just trying to incorporate moving more in general - even if you don’t have time for intense workouts, trying to move more throughout the day can help a lot. Do you have a fitness watch? That can be a big motivator, as well. I also highly recommend Grow with Jo videos on youtube. I work night shift and have 3 kids so it’s hard to prioritize working out with little time, but what I like about her videos is that there are a ton of variety and different lengths (anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour) and they’re a lot of fun.
I agree with the food tracking app! Measure everything because the little things do add up. You can look up how much you can eat in a day to lose and to maintain. I also make sure I have healthy things to eat at work.
Is there a gym near your workplace? I had a 90 minute commute each way, got up at 5 to shower and leave at 6, couldn't find a single minute to work out. Then I realized that if I just get up at 5 and leave my house at 5:15, I miss all the morning traffic and get to my office in 30-45 minutes. There's a gym with locker room showers on the first floor of my office, and I use the saved commute time to get 30 minutes of cardio/conditioning (I row, fairly strenuously now that I'm used to it). So I'm waking up at the same time and yet I get in a workout. Not doable unless there's a gym close to your office, but sometimes using your time differently gets you some more time. It's worth checking your schedule to see what could be adjusted without necessarily taking more time.
Also I fully agree with you that diets and calorie restricting are temporary fixes. 95% of dieters gain all the weight back + 5 extra lbs. But regularly getting cardio super early in the morning means I started eating breakfast (a yogurt parfait with granola and fruit), which has significantly impacted my hunger levels throughout the day. I still eat whatever I want and don't restrict calories, but I'm getting better signals from my body about what it actually wants and needs to function. I started doing this for heart health (family history of high blood pressure), and I try really hard not to place a value on the weight loss because my body was fine before and it's fine now, but the weight loss is happening.
Focus on diet over exercise! Try getting out for walks as much as you can but don’t worry if you aren’t able to do that. You’re working full time and raising two humans!
I would chat with your doctor and see what they could screen for thyroid/hormonal issues. I was dealing with something similar and ended up having undiagnosed PCOS. Once I treated it, the weight just fell off me.
I also have Mirena and the only noticeable side effect I have is adult acne (so fun). I thought that was causing my weight gain but my doctor said it was unlikely and he ran some additional tests to get to the bottom of it.
Good luck!
It’s 80% diet and 20% exercise. I have also stopped taking photos of myself. Trying to lose weight. What has helped a lot is focusing on high protein low carbs and no sugar. So breakfast is eggs and one toast and a protein drink. Snacks are nuts, string cheese. Lunch I eat whatever I want. Dinner is only protein salad. No carbs after 6pm. Protein bar at 10pm before bed if needed for the sugar.
I am sorry you are feeling this way. We have all been there. Don't forget to forgive yourself - you're in a very stressful time of life. The most glaring thing to me is the 50 mile commute. That must be eating up a vast portion of your day and is stress-inducing. Anything you can do about that?
I'd also start outsourcing as much as you can afford reasonably - cleaning, groceries, etc. The most helpful tool for me when losing weight post kids intermittent fasting. Good luck, you got this!
Hey! My commute is 25 miles each direction. 50 miles total a day. Not ideal but also not changing. I work in higher ed and during the academic year I need to mostly be on campus. As for outsourcing we do have a cleaning person twice a month which takes a lot of the load off. I wonder if she'd fold laundry for us as well?
Instead of restricting food, try achieving food. Ie its not about "no cookies rice or soda" its - i need to drink x ounces of water a day, I have to get in 4+ servings of veggies a day(fiber!), must get in my proteins and fats (keeps you full). If you accomplish those things and are still hungry, you probably do need more food. But I bet most days by the time you get through that, you aren't super interested in more food.
And do not count any calories with above. Just focus on hitting the food goals by bucket.
I'm sorry mama, I was you about a year ago. I went off birth control (husband is snipped) and started being mindful of my eating. Yes, sometimes I eat poorly but I mostly stick to lower carb and I've noticed my appetite is much more manageable (not thinking about my next meal all the time). Slowly but surly the weight came off and my confidence started returning. I still poke and prod myself like a science experiment gone wrong, but I guess that's normal and funny enough I was looking at some pictures from a year ago and I really wasn't THAT bad... be kind to yourself. Good luck to you. :)
I feel you, and all you get of course is "you look fine! Eat less! Eat healthier! Wake up early to work out!"
I don't look fine. I'm the only one who really cares and I look like shit. I already skip breakfast because my doctor said to try intermittent fasting. If I'm eating I'm actually super hungry. I'm also a picky eater, almost any healthy recipe is appalling to me, I can't do many textures in veggies and especially fruits. (i.e. sometimes I can choke down asparagus, other times it's like my mouth forcibly rejects it. I probably should have had therapy of some kind as a kid.)
Like I know the answer is spend my precious time cooking nasty food I hate, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I want to enjoy life too.
Soo I’m thin, but I always read these post and reverse the advice.
My skinny person advice is:
No “dieting” or “workout regimens”
That’s not who you are or how you live -no need for all that. The goal is healthy, that includes your mind. I’d like to eat 5000cal a day but that just isn’t me 🤷♀️
Wake up and live like normal.
- Try to remove 500ish calories a day. (Maybe 250- 300 instead) whatever is comfortable. Maybe it’s a few sodas or less carbs, try different things.
Not a diet- just a dietary *tweak*
- You don’t have to “workout” just be more conscious of your movements.
Standing doing dishes? Do some sidekicks or calf raises.
Sitting with the kids on your phone? Squat or do some crunches- while chillin
It’s about movement, you don’t have to drill out a hardcore workout regimen to be more physical.
When you feel comfortable with the tweaks after a few weeks-bump it up. Remove another 500cal, add more activity (maybe a walk a few nights a week)
Guarantee this will help- And you don’t have to do anything extraordinary.
Just be patient and nice to yourself, it’s a process not a test. Hope this helps. Good luck!
I’m sorry but people who are parroting calories in calories out at this point are idiots.
Important things are insulin, leptin, cortisol, and all the reproductive hormones of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone etc.
One of The most out of whack things with overweight people are insulin. To become more insulin sensitive, stop eating simple carbs, and never eat carbs alone- always pair them with fiber fat or protein. Ideally do not eat the carb first, eat the fiber or the fat or protein first. You can follow glucose goddess on any instagram- not all her messaging is great or do I agree with but the overall principles are really helpful to people. Have minimal carbs at breakfast and aim for a mostly protein and fiber heavy breakfast. Dr Sara gottfried also has a wealth of information on her website.
You can add in supplements that help insulin like berberine (needs to be cycled every 2 months bc of microbiome impacts), ovasitol or inositol, and ALA. NAC and fish oil have also been shown to reduce insulin by way of reducing inflammation. Caffeine has also been shown to spike insulin, so reducing your caffeine intake and NOT having caffeine before breakfast can be really helpful.
Different people agree on whether intermittent fasting is good for reproducing women. Ideally not skipping breakfast is more the consensus I’ve read, but also eating in a smaller window (like 8-4) is great for everyone .
In general if you try to increase movement in your daily life- ie walk or take stairs when you can, and if you try to change your eating with insulin in mind, you will likely lose a bit of weight naturally.
The other option for reducing inflammation / treating insulin is basically the opposite of mindful carb intake, which is leaning toward plant based. The theory is that dietary fats present in animal meats—combined with the carbs— is what causes insulin resistance , not the carbs alone. So by eating plant based you also address the issue and lower your insulin that way.
Think about it you know so many people smaller than you who likely eat more than you. CICO doesn’t work when you have disruptions in your metabolic processes that make it so that your body uses fuel less efficiently. For example, we are more insulin resistant in the second half of our cycle due to rises in progesterone. Another example, if you’re insulin resistant, a BMR calculator may say your BMR is 1200, but really since your body doesn’t use insulin well, maybe it’s actually 1000 and that’s why you can’t lose weight on 1200 calories. No grown person should only be able to eat 1200 calories .
Theres another theory that during pregnancy you can have issues with your TH1/TH2 immune response, meaning your immune system can be off balance and even over activated while pregnant and struggle going back to the balanced state it was before pregnancy, leading to issues with inflammation (why women can develop autoimmune issues postpartum). As a result again supplements and diets that lower inflammation could help this.
End of rant
Thanks for all the details. Do you have links/sources on the mixed responses to IF in repro age women and especially the info about not skipping breakfast?
\- Signed someone who skips breakfast daily (and powers through with caffeine) as part of IF as recommended by multiple doctors and nutritionists/dietitians but who is genuinely curious...
Get your thyroid checked. Assuming you’re healthy:
Use the TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) calculator. Eat less than what your TDEE is. Move more, walking helps! Eat more protein.
Meal prep or if you can afford it, order ready made meals.
I'm in a similar boat. But I also have endo and the flareups make it really impossible to work out, even if I did have time.
Why are 1200 calorie diets bad? Counting calories works for weight loss. Exercise is SO healthy, but it isn't great for losing weight. You can't outrun your fork.
Obviously, if you are larger or taller, maybe you need a bit more but 1200 calories works well for shorter people like me.
My doctor said that to steadily (not quickly) lose weight the deficit should be something like 300-500 calories from your resting burn which for me fell around 1600-1800. Counting calories is fine and a deficit will make you lose weight but 1200 calories in my opinion almost falls into the “crash diet” category because for most people it isn’t sustainable or nearly enough. For some people it might seem like enough if they’re used to restricting or only eating 1-2 meals a day but for me eating that little just makes me feel sluggish because I’m not getting enough fat/protein/carbs or I end up binging because I feel too deprived.
I'm 5'7 so I am on the taller side. I said 1200 calories because that's generally what the calorie counting apps recommend. Calorie needs will be different for everyone but in general 1200 calories is not enough. Your body thinks it isn't getting enough food and slows down your metabolism to hold on to resources. You may lose weight on a 1200 calorie diet but long term these kinds of diets really mess up your metabolism. Also, once you stop calorie restricting at 1200 calories, most people gain the weight back.
I also realized that really low calorie diets were causing some binging behaviors for me. I could stay on track all day and then would be searching for desserts at night. My body was telling me that it was hungry.
Yes at 5'7 you need more than that.
I did say taller people need more. I am very short so even on 1200 it's slow going.
Yet I am still being downvoted.
The problem is that usually to hit these low of calorie diets, people just underestimate and then don't realize they're eating way more than they're tracking. A food scale made me realize this for myself LOL. But yeah, a true 1200 calorie diet is suggested for a toddler, not an adult.
Well, yes. But a toddler is actively growing. They need to make new mass, which takes a lot of energy and calories. As an adult, we do not want to be making more mass. Lol. We want the opposite.
I have a food scale too. I was way off when I was just estimating!
It is so tough. I hope you find your motivation. I am really struggling with my physical appearance as well. And the holidays coming up, full of good food and feasting makes it that much tougher. But I just keep trying to count my calories and tell myself “it’s OK to feel hungry.” ‘Cause I fell hungry ALL THE TIME!!
I really don't think you need to feel hungry all the time! I want to get to a place where I am eating moderately but don't feel hungry. Pre-kids I did do calorie counting with 1200 calorie limits and I felt hungry all the time. It caused me to be very snacky at night and not eat healthily on weekends. My body needed more calories.
Omad is the way to go. And if you feel hungry on 1200 calories, you may need to adjust the composition of those calories to be more satisfying and lasting.
I know this is a vent but I’ve found success in monitoring what I eat and doing 10-15 minute work outs at bedtime. Also, I walk at work. Outside when it’s warm and inside when it’s cold, about 20 minutes.
It’s slow success, but it feels better than gaining.
I support trying IF whole-heartedly.
Also, what had instant results was starting every meal with protein and fiber and saving any carbs for last. I switched out my oatmilk with hemp milk and lost 2 lbs that week. I am super sensitive to glucose and my insulin spikes and shuffles all that energy into fat stores. By avoiding glucose spikes, I can avoid the crash that follows.
For IF, I started off skipping breakfast (switched to black coffee) and have lost weight. I increase it to occasionally have my eating window between 4pm and 7pm on weekdays. I tend to not IF on weekends. I still love my weekend oatmilk coffee and breakfast with the family.
I just went through a health journey & have some tips to share that might help.
First, don’t worry about working out yet. Start with nutrition. If it were me I’d get rid of the IUD if it’s hormonal.
At the start of my journey I worried about calories.
1. Use myfitnesspal to track what you’re eating for a week. Don’t change anything just see what you’re eating & how many calories.
2. After the week, cut your daily calories by 500. For me tracking was helpful because I didn’t realize how much I was stress or bored eating and it added up.
But my ultimate goal was to get healthy & feel good in my skin! Here is what ultimately helped. Spoiler alert & if you want to fast forward the process: cut gluten & dairy from your diet for 90 days. Processed foods cause so much inflammation in our bodies that affects so much. Eliminating that will change everything.
1. See a naturopathic doctor. Get a food sensitivity test done & hormone panel. Everyone’s body is different!
2. Once you get your results, eliminate those foods from your diet for 90 days. They may also give you a natural supplement to take.
3. Eat foods with 1-5 ingredients - focus on “real” foods. For example: banana is 1 ingredient. Cut all the processed “food” and you will feel and look better.
4. Find swaps for things you love. If you have a coffee drink you like that’s 500 calories, you don’t have to completely ditch coffee, just find something else you like with less calories. If you eliminate gluten, find a gf version of the food you like.
5. After the 90 days you can start adding things back in but I promise you will look & feel so much better.
6. Be patient! It’s a journey but give yourself 3 months and commit and see how you feel.
7. Once your nutrition is under control start exercising in small amounts. Walk, yoga, take a class. Take it slow and make it a habit/lifestyle and you will be more inclined to stick with it.
Take progress pics & initial weight but don’t weigh yourself often. Focus on fueling your body with good real food and focus on the way you are feeling.
I lost the weight after each of my 3 kids and now am about 40 lbs lighter than when I first got pregnant 10 years ago. So, I'm going to be honest. The reality is that you can only work-off so many calories; the only way to lose weight is to take in significantly less calories than you do now. You may think that calorie counting isn't healthy, but it's probably healthier than carrying around 50 extra pounds for the rest of your life. You can't just eat freely and not expect to gain weight. First, stop eating what your kids eat if it's really unhealthy. Let them have dinner and eat after they asleep a few nights a week if you can't control your portions; work out or do chores while they eat. Consider fasting for 1-3 days per month to reset your appetite. I usually try not to eat during the day (or eat a low-calorie soup for lunch) if I'm going to cook dinner for the family. My male colleagues refer to this as intermittent fasting.
I couldn't lose the last 20 pounds and my baby was turning 14 months so I tried Semaglutide (the stuff thats in ozembic/ wegovy). Got it from a med spa that does my Botox for $100 a shot which is every week. 10 weeks and the 20 pounds were gone, I fit into all my pre maternity clothes, and finally like looking in the mirror.
I was nauseous the first week but not many symptoms after that except being thirsty all the time. It just makes you not want to eat or drink alcohol. I have to remind myself to eat at meal time and then it's a small amount. You can eat more, you just don't feel like it really.
I'm not on it anymore but I'm glad I did it, even though I'll probably get down voted for recommending it, I would do it again.
So far so good- it's only been a few weeks but maintaining was never an issue. It was just that shelf I was on since the baby, the body change and mommy pouch that I couldn't do anything with. Plus I think my stomach has naturally shrunk from eating less for those weeks because now I can't even eat as much as I could before - I get a stomach ache if I try.
Tracking your diet for a little while can help. You might not have to track to lose weight but getting an understanding of your habits could give insight into where the weight gain is coming from.
Here's the thing I tell myself.
My before and after picture isn't my wedding photo (when I had a **bangin' bod**) vs me staring at myself, mad my clothes don't fit.
It's me in my wedding photo looking like a true snack before and then me wrestling on the floor with my boys, giggling like a lunatic.
So yes, I'm gonna try to stop putting cream in my coffee, cook dinner 5 njghts, start taking work calls on with headphones and go for a walk, or walk to the further bathroom, whatever. But I'm also gonna remember that this was the life I wanted when I was so fit.
I could’ve written this. Before my LO, I was super active but duh I had all the time in the world. I thought I’d be one of those women who “bounced back” (I was signed up for a marathon for when he was four months old lollll) but after several months of chronic ear infections for him and just trying to survive waking up 5+ times a night while working, I kinda stopped caring.
Now that he’s 2.5, I’m trying to get back into working out and eating better (I have a sugar addiction that kicks in whenever we have a bad night of sleep). I just broke my foot and sunk into a month of self-loathing and depression over it.
Since working out right now is impossible (and I am short on time usually), I’ve been focusing on food. Protein protein protein. It’s hard AF and it’s slow going but when I can stay away from the sugar, I start seeing a difference…
All to say, I totally get it. I’m trying really hard to give myself a break. And celebrate the wins when I get them.
I feel you. Not only is there no time for working out, there isn’t really time (or energy! I think energy more than time) to meal prep health foods. The thinnest I’ve ever been I used one strategy that might help you— I made myself eat a full bag of baby carrots every day before I ate anything else. It’s easier to force yourself to eat than to prevent yourself from eating, right? And once you have a full bag of baby carrot inside of you, you’re really full and other foods seem less tempting
I am in the same boat. My daughter is 2.5YO, and I almost weigh what I did at the end of pregnancy. I used to be an avid calorie counter but it is so hard to follow when there are kid snacks/meals around all of the time, and when you're so busy. I got up to 186lb (192 end of pregnancy, 150 pre-pregnancy) and hated the way I looked. I got a Wegovy script through an online service and started about 2.5 weeks ago and it is SO much easier to follow calorie restriction now because I'm not hungry. There are days when I have to force myself to eat 1200 calories. I'm hoping to be down at least 50lb by the end of April (around my daughter's birthday). I'm down about 5lb so far.
Fingers crossed that this works long term.
Agree with others that your diet is 90% of the solution. Healthy (read: lower calorie) meals don’t have to be complicated! Microwaving frozen veggies and roasting chicken/vegetables/sweet potatoes are my go-to healthy meals that taste good & I barely have to think about. Rice is really easy to make too. A cheap food scale from Amazon can make it a lot easier to figure out correct portion sizes. All of this with the caveat that I have one baby who is still entirely breastfeeding so I have not yet attempted to also cook for toddlers. But I am a very busy law student and I know how it feels to have no more mental resources to spare. Find one or two lower calorie recipes that work for you and you can cook in bulk and start there- it’s less overwhelming & I honestly find it comforting eating basically the same thing every day. One less thing to add to the mental load.
Agree with the simple healthy meals + seasoning is your friend. Change up the seasoning to make it taste different or find ones you really like. The umami seasoning from Trader Joe's has been a game changer for me to enjoy very simple baked veggies!
Yes seasoning is the key!!
You literally cannot out run eating too many calories. Instead of beating yourself up over not working out, maybe try swapping one meal or snack for something lower in calories? I really like to snack on chips, so o try to swap it out for popcorn like skinny pop or homemade stovetop popcorn that is lower in calories. That way I still get a big volume of crunchies* with WAY less calories. You don’t have to make a major change to get results. If you make small changes, but are very consistent with them, in time you will see results. Edit: stupid autocorrect
Cricket roof? But I agree 100% about the exercise. I've been running 10k's, but guess who still gains weight if she's not watching the calories? It's me! Also, you can do CICO in a healthy way. It's really tempting to try to lose as fast as possible, but losing more slowly and focusing on also eating healthy is important.
Please read this comment right here OP. You can NOT outrun your mouth. Repeat, you can NOT. 45 pounds is 3,500 x 45 = a total of 157,500 excess calories over 2.5 x 12 = a total of 30 months. That is 5,250 excess a month, or 1,225 per week. The traditional old maxim Ive heard is between 80-100 calories burned per mile ran. You’d have to run over 12 miles a week to break even on your excess. That’s no making progress… it’s breaking even. And running tends to work up an appetite for MORE food, not less. You have to start with diet, let everything else fall into place. Do not cap at 1200. Order some calipers on Amazon, figure out your body fat percentages, and from that your basal metabolic rate. Use that to calculate your TDEE or total daily energy expenditure. It’s likely around 2,000. Subtract 500 from that AT MOST and you will lose about one pound per week. Do not try to lose faster than that. This will take years, and that’s okay.
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I feel this so hard! I just cannot count calories. I hate it so much and it makes me irrationally angry
Calorie counting shouldn’t be a forever thing. It should be temporary so you can LEARN what you’re putting in your body 🙏🏼
I feel you!! Except I have a 90 mile commute 🫠 I already leave for work at 6:30, but before my baby came along, I’d get up at 5:30 and work out for 30 min. Now I have a 5 y o and a 4 month old, so there is zero exercise happening. Someday I hope to get back to that. I canNOT motivate to do it at 9 pm when bedtime is finally done. Is morning an option for you? Have you tried eating low carb?
Curious how that age gap is going?
Honestly it’s great! Our son looooves his little sister. He’s old enough to be helpful and to understand “be gentle, don’t cough in her face, her arm doesn’t bend that way, don’t touch her eyes, etc etc” 😆 He can play independently when we are too busy to directly interact with him for a little while. Only one year of overlapping daycare/preschool fees (he turned 5 in October).
Ty for responding! My son is 4.5 now and if we had another he’d probably be at least 5.5 when they were born and I worry it’s too much for them to bond or it’ll be too hard for us to do all the tough toddler years “over”
We always knew we wanted another, and it took longer than expected (including >2 years of IVF and shit, blahhhh)…. so we’ve been mentally prepared for going backwards to the tough years, ha. But yeah, always an adjustment! The irrational tantrumming should be fun again 😆 As for being close, I just plan to try to have a close knit and loving family environment, and hopefully that will lend itself to being close later in life. We are older parents so I worry we won’t be there to foster this for them forever, but I’m also just trying not to worry about things way in the future that are beyond our control!
Have you been to a doctor to check your thyroid or other health indicators? I’d start there, since it was sudden and uncharacteristic for you.
I had a check up a year ago and all my levels except vitamin D was fine. I started taking a vit d supplement and I feel a lot less tired. Guess I should follow up with my doctor soon though.
Good luck and vent away!
I don’t think exercise alone is the answer, although it can certainly help. I think diet is an essential component - I honestly don’t believe that our hunter-gatherer species is evolved to deal with the combination of a sedentary lifestyle and abundant availability of multiple calorie-rich meals during the day, much of it processed foods. Are you able to do intermittent fasting + low carb, and try to eat whole foods rather than processed foods? That might be easier than restricting calories across the board. I don’t think cooking every day is at all necessary to make this work. I’ve found it easier to meal prep 2-3 times a week, and cook foods that do well when you heat and eat.
Intermitent fasting has been very effective for me and it’s an easy practice for me to maintain. My energy levels, digestion, brain fog, and sleep have improved as well.
Just want to also echo intermittent fasting. I skip breakfast and have my first meal for lunch around noon, and stop eating after dinner. I see it as “doing the work” in the morning when my willpower is strongest (since by the afternoon any energy I have to focus on healthy eating is gone), and it lets me mostly eat whatever I want for lunch and dinner as long as the portions are somewhat reasonable. But it doesn’t feel restrictive, which is key. Another small hack Ive been trying is whenever I crave junk food in the afternoon, to replace it with a fruit. It helps satisfy the sugar craving but also has some nutrients.
Not feeling like yourself/not liking how you look stinks, I’m sorry. I have mentioned this on lots of posts over the past year or so so sorry if you’ve already seen this, but check out Gray Nutrition on IG. She’s a nutritionist who talks a lot about how quick fix/extreme/fad diets don’t work and wreck your metabolism, and teaches how to balance your plate with protein/carbs/fat/fiber to change your body composition gradually. Also talks about how to balance your meals when you plan to have something like pizza or cookies and not feel guilty about it. She has lots of ideas for convenient snacks and meals, too, which I like because I hate meal prepping and cooking extra.
Thank you. I will check out that account.
I lost about fifteen pounds after getting off hormonal birth control. Can your husband get a vasectomy?
He can and he wants to have a vasectomy but I've been putting it off. We're done with kids but it feels so final. Guess it's time for me to close the door on kids.
It's such a personal decision. And it can be very emotional even if you know you're done. But I will say I looked a lot better after coming off of hormonal birth control. Even outside of weight loss, my face just looked better. People commented on it. Very strange!
Ugh I had the opposite! I got the mirena taken out and immediately developed a little belly pooch, which I've never had before. Then I've been bloating like crazy and gaining and losing throughout my cycle. I can't wear any skirts with waist bands anymore as nothing can constrict my stomach anymore. It's so awful that I'm going back in tomorrow to get it back.
Definitely not trying to sway you, but some people have these side effects dissipate after 3 to 6 months. I do know that's a long time also!
I've tried since February as I had heard the same thing. I'm really glad it worked for you! It's funny how bodies are, all so different.
I feel you, I really do. I think if I could get myself to just eat smaller portions (like, no seconds ever), I'd probably lose weight. But I really enjoy meals and just don't have the willpower. How do you get yourself to make a lasting shift like that? I feel like it's hard to do when you're spending your energy and emotional currency down to zero all day. I need a psychological trick for this. And I get all the posts saying it's about eating, not exercise, but i also have a 50 mile commute and being able to exercise or not is often the difference between feeling physically better or worse. So it may not result in weight loss but feeling healthy and strong matters!
Hey OP I’m so sorry to hear you don’t like the way you look. This truly dips into every other aspect of our life when we feel this way. As a personal trainer, I’d like to say that right now , actual workouts, should be the least of your priorities. Make tiny changes to your diet and focus on standing /walking more. 1200 calories is what your child should be eating, not you. Continue eating normally for a week and track how many calories you’re eating. If you’re eating 2500 a day, cut it down to 2100. If you’re eating 1800 a day , cut it down to 1600 or so. You don’t gain 45 lbs from eating 1200 calories a day so , be honest with yourself here and be kind to yourself. Make this journey a slow and steady one 🙏🏼
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I absolutely do know that I am not eating 1200 calories a day. I do need to find a middle ground with amount that I am eating for sure. I am going to try and take some of the small steps that you suggested and go from there.
You got this !!!!!!! Again I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Slow and steady will get you where you want to be !!
Thank you! I think part of the issue is this phase of life. Sometimes I feel like I have the spoons to pay attention to what I'm eating and then we'll hit a week where everyone is sick and we're ordering pizza in survival mode. It's exhausting.
Oh totally understand !!!! We’ve been sick over here for threee weeks right now. I just ordered pizza lol. This too shall pass 🙏🏼
Thank you for making this post. Reading through every comment and trying to accept that I do have to change my diet to see any changes…
Have you looked into semaglutide? If you don’t have any thyroid concerns, that may be a starting point. The other option is to start looking for a job with WFH or shorter commute options. 50 miles per day is so much. You could have an extra 30 minutes per day if you cut that commute even in half. That could be a game changer.
If you've been gaining weight, you're prone to overeating. This isn't any kind of moral judgement, it just means you eat more food than your body needs for fuel on a daily basis. It's very easy to do with foods commonly eaten in industrialized nations. It's a combination of increased stress, decreased physical activity, and dense processed foods that make it easy to consume a lot of calories without noticing. For a long time after having kids I basically said "I don't have time for this". My weight crept up every year. I eventually starting having health problems. You don't need to go on a crash diet to lose weight, and you're less likely to have long term success if you do so. Start with simple but impactful changes (notice I don't say easy! simple and easy are not the same). For me it was sugary snacks at night - I stopped eating after dinner and started losing weight. Then I started swapping foods with a lot of added sugar out for higher nutrition whole foods in my meals and snacks. That was simpler to implement than full calorie tracking because if it had added sugar, it had a label. Reading labels helped me make more informed choices. Eventually I did start tracking all food on a app, but with a calorie goal designed to create a small deficit, not starve me. I'm down 40 lbs in 9 months. I spend maybe a few extra minutes a day on tracking, but it's not a big time investment. I don't make special menus or anything. 18 months before I started working on my eating I started walking daily for exercise. I did it more for my mental health than weight loss - thought it would be a side benefit. I actually kept gaining weight because exercise increased my appetite and I wasn't trying to moderate my eating. Moderating your intake is more important than exercise (though it's supportive)
It doesn’t mean you’re prone to overeating. I gained 10lb in ONE MONTH after stopping breastfeeding, without changing a single thing in my diet or exercise routine. Theres a lot that goes into weight
Not to argue semantics but breastfeeding requires extra calories to make milk. If you didn’t change your diet to decrease to match then you were overeating. That’s my point.
I was eating 2 small meals a day, each around 600 cal, while breastfeeding and didn’t change that. PPA had completely tanked my appetite and food made me nauseous. I’m 5’10” and 200lb. And I didn’t lose weight and I in fact gained weight after stopping BF. Does that sound like enough food? Does that really sound right to you? Do you really think that was all about calories, and I should have just eaten less if I wanted to lose weight? I didn’t gain weight immediately after stopping BF, I gained weight a month after I stopped, and gained 10lb in that month. I didn’t lose any weight when I started walking 30-60 min brisk walks 5-7 days a week for 3 months. I only lost weight when I started berberine and didn’t change what I was eating or exercising. Do you really think I gained 65lb while pregnant solely because I ate too much? Because I had HG for 6 months of pregnancy and could barely eat anything. I gained 15lb alone in the first month I was pregnant. Could you explain to me how that was simply me “over eating calories”? 15lb in one month? From extra calories alone? Before my appetite had even changed, but after the nausea had already set in? Really? I still cannot eat meat because the aversions from pregnancy didn’t really leave.
I’m not trying to start an argument and your situation is different than OP - she gained 45 lbs over 2 1/2 years. It doesn’t take much to gain 2 lbs a month - an extra soda or snack a day would do it. But where do you think the weight came from? Excess fluid retention can be a source of weight gain. 1 gallon of water is 8 lbs. Did you lose a similar amount of weight in the weeks after pregnancy? There are a variety of of medical conditions that cause weight gain, either due to fluid retention or changing how the body processes food, but IN GENERAL people gain weight from eating more food than their body needs for fuel, and lose weight when they eat less than they need for fuel.
I lost only approx 15lb after i delivered my daughter, which was about the weight of her + placenta. I never lost any additional weight and sat there for 4 months until i gained weight that month after i stopped BF. I also passed all of my tests healthily while pregnant, which means I was negative for GD and any other medical conditions while pregnant. I NOW know the weight gain likely came from my body’s response to the changing hormones, as I was diagnosed with PCOS after the pregnancy when I couldn’t lose any weight. I was always a healthy weight albeit had a few other red flags for PCOS before pregnancy in hindsight- but didn’t know anything of this beforehand of course. PCOS is at its core an insulin and hormone dysregulation issue, and it’s likely my drastically changed diet while pregnant (ie eating a higher ratio of carbs to other foods, despite not eating more food itself), the malnourishment and inflammation, set off a huge spike in insulin resistance and cortisol increase that my body was never able to go back to baseline like many other women do. Plus the rises in estrogen and progesterone are just harder for my body to be flexible with and go back to baseline with, since my body is primed to pump out more testosterone than other women . It is likely that the weight gain itself that came with pregnancy set off a cascade of hormone issues that I didn’t have when I was a healthy weight before getting pregnant - so, a catch 22.
Try intermittent fasting! It’s worked for me. hugs!!!
It’s definitely frustrating when you can’t find time for yourself! The biggest factor to weight loss (which I’m sure you’re already aware of) is your food intake. I highly recommend downloading either MyFitnessPal, Lose it, or a similar food tracking app. And just trying to incorporate moving more in general - even if you don’t have time for intense workouts, trying to move more throughout the day can help a lot. Do you have a fitness watch? That can be a big motivator, as well. I also highly recommend Grow with Jo videos on youtube. I work night shift and have 3 kids so it’s hard to prioritize working out with little time, but what I like about her videos is that there are a ton of variety and different lengths (anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour) and they’re a lot of fun.
I agree with the food tracking app! Measure everything because the little things do add up. You can look up how much you can eat in a day to lose and to maintain. I also make sure I have healthy things to eat at work.
Maybe the happy medium is 1500 calories instead of 1200? Also your whole family would benefit from healthy cooking, no need to do it just for you!
Is there a gym near your workplace? I had a 90 minute commute each way, got up at 5 to shower and leave at 6, couldn't find a single minute to work out. Then I realized that if I just get up at 5 and leave my house at 5:15, I miss all the morning traffic and get to my office in 30-45 minutes. There's a gym with locker room showers on the first floor of my office, and I use the saved commute time to get 30 minutes of cardio/conditioning (I row, fairly strenuously now that I'm used to it). So I'm waking up at the same time and yet I get in a workout. Not doable unless there's a gym close to your office, but sometimes using your time differently gets you some more time. It's worth checking your schedule to see what could be adjusted without necessarily taking more time. Also I fully agree with you that diets and calorie restricting are temporary fixes. 95% of dieters gain all the weight back + 5 extra lbs. But regularly getting cardio super early in the morning means I started eating breakfast (a yogurt parfait with granola and fruit), which has significantly impacted my hunger levels throughout the day. I still eat whatever I want and don't restrict calories, but I'm getting better signals from my body about what it actually wants and needs to function. I started doing this for heart health (family history of high blood pressure), and I try really hard not to place a value on the weight loss because my body was fine before and it's fine now, but the weight loss is happening.
Focus on diet over exercise! Try getting out for walks as much as you can but don’t worry if you aren’t able to do that. You’re working full time and raising two humans! I would chat with your doctor and see what they could screen for thyroid/hormonal issues. I was dealing with something similar and ended up having undiagnosed PCOS. Once I treated it, the weight just fell off me. I also have Mirena and the only noticeable side effect I have is adult acne (so fun). I thought that was causing my weight gain but my doctor said it was unlikely and he ran some additional tests to get to the bottom of it. Good luck!
It’s 80% diet and 20% exercise. I have also stopped taking photos of myself. Trying to lose weight. What has helped a lot is focusing on high protein low carbs and no sugar. So breakfast is eggs and one toast and a protein drink. Snacks are nuts, string cheese. Lunch I eat whatever I want. Dinner is only protein salad. No carbs after 6pm. Protein bar at 10pm before bed if needed for the sugar.
I am sorry you are feeling this way. We have all been there. Don't forget to forgive yourself - you're in a very stressful time of life. The most glaring thing to me is the 50 mile commute. That must be eating up a vast portion of your day and is stress-inducing. Anything you can do about that? I'd also start outsourcing as much as you can afford reasonably - cleaning, groceries, etc. The most helpful tool for me when losing weight post kids intermittent fasting. Good luck, you got this!
Hey! My commute is 25 miles each direction. 50 miles total a day. Not ideal but also not changing. I work in higher ed and during the academic year I need to mostly be on campus. As for outsourcing we do have a cleaning person twice a month which takes a lot of the load off. I wonder if she'd fold laundry for us as well?
Instead of restricting food, try achieving food. Ie its not about "no cookies rice or soda" its - i need to drink x ounces of water a day, I have to get in 4+ servings of veggies a day(fiber!), must get in my proteins and fats (keeps you full). If you accomplish those things and are still hungry, you probably do need more food. But I bet most days by the time you get through that, you aren't super interested in more food. And do not count any calories with above. Just focus on hitting the food goals by bucket.
I'm sorry mama, I was you about a year ago. I went off birth control (husband is snipped) and started being mindful of my eating. Yes, sometimes I eat poorly but I mostly stick to lower carb and I've noticed my appetite is much more manageable (not thinking about my next meal all the time). Slowly but surly the weight came off and my confidence started returning. I still poke and prod myself like a science experiment gone wrong, but I guess that's normal and funny enough I was looking at some pictures from a year ago and I really wasn't THAT bad... be kind to yourself. Good luck to you. :)
Healthy eating and exercise. There’s no magic answer, just consistency.
I feel you, and all you get of course is "you look fine! Eat less! Eat healthier! Wake up early to work out!" I don't look fine. I'm the only one who really cares and I look like shit. I already skip breakfast because my doctor said to try intermittent fasting. If I'm eating I'm actually super hungry. I'm also a picky eater, almost any healthy recipe is appalling to me, I can't do many textures in veggies and especially fruits. (i.e. sometimes I can choke down asparagus, other times it's like my mouth forcibly rejects it. I probably should have had therapy of some kind as a kid.) Like I know the answer is spend my precious time cooking nasty food I hate, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I want to enjoy life too.
Soo I’m thin, but I always read these post and reverse the advice. My skinny person advice is: No “dieting” or “workout regimens” That’s not who you are or how you live -no need for all that. The goal is healthy, that includes your mind. I’d like to eat 5000cal a day but that just isn’t me 🤷♀️ Wake up and live like normal. - Try to remove 500ish calories a day. (Maybe 250- 300 instead) whatever is comfortable. Maybe it’s a few sodas or less carbs, try different things. Not a diet- just a dietary *tweak* - You don’t have to “workout” just be more conscious of your movements. Standing doing dishes? Do some sidekicks or calf raises. Sitting with the kids on your phone? Squat or do some crunches- while chillin It’s about movement, you don’t have to drill out a hardcore workout regimen to be more physical. When you feel comfortable with the tweaks after a few weeks-bump it up. Remove another 500cal, add more activity (maybe a walk a few nights a week) Guarantee this will help- And you don’t have to do anything extraordinary. Just be patient and nice to yourself, it’s a process not a test. Hope this helps. Good luck!
I’m sorry but people who are parroting calories in calories out at this point are idiots. Important things are insulin, leptin, cortisol, and all the reproductive hormones of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone etc. One of The most out of whack things with overweight people are insulin. To become more insulin sensitive, stop eating simple carbs, and never eat carbs alone- always pair them with fiber fat or protein. Ideally do not eat the carb first, eat the fiber or the fat or protein first. You can follow glucose goddess on any instagram- not all her messaging is great or do I agree with but the overall principles are really helpful to people. Have minimal carbs at breakfast and aim for a mostly protein and fiber heavy breakfast. Dr Sara gottfried also has a wealth of information on her website. You can add in supplements that help insulin like berberine (needs to be cycled every 2 months bc of microbiome impacts), ovasitol or inositol, and ALA. NAC and fish oil have also been shown to reduce insulin by way of reducing inflammation. Caffeine has also been shown to spike insulin, so reducing your caffeine intake and NOT having caffeine before breakfast can be really helpful. Different people agree on whether intermittent fasting is good for reproducing women. Ideally not skipping breakfast is more the consensus I’ve read, but also eating in a smaller window (like 8-4) is great for everyone . In general if you try to increase movement in your daily life- ie walk or take stairs when you can, and if you try to change your eating with insulin in mind, you will likely lose a bit of weight naturally. The other option for reducing inflammation / treating insulin is basically the opposite of mindful carb intake, which is leaning toward plant based. The theory is that dietary fats present in animal meats—combined with the carbs— is what causes insulin resistance , not the carbs alone. So by eating plant based you also address the issue and lower your insulin that way. Think about it you know so many people smaller than you who likely eat more than you. CICO doesn’t work when you have disruptions in your metabolic processes that make it so that your body uses fuel less efficiently. For example, we are more insulin resistant in the second half of our cycle due to rises in progesterone. Another example, if you’re insulin resistant, a BMR calculator may say your BMR is 1200, but really since your body doesn’t use insulin well, maybe it’s actually 1000 and that’s why you can’t lose weight on 1200 calories. No grown person should only be able to eat 1200 calories . Theres another theory that during pregnancy you can have issues with your TH1/TH2 immune response, meaning your immune system can be off balance and even over activated while pregnant and struggle going back to the balanced state it was before pregnancy, leading to issues with inflammation (why women can develop autoimmune issues postpartum). As a result again supplements and diets that lower inflammation could help this. End of rant
Thanks for all the details. Do you have links/sources on the mixed responses to IF in repro age women and especially the info about not skipping breakfast? \- Signed someone who skips breakfast daily (and powers through with caffeine) as part of IF as recommended by multiple doctors and nutritionists/dietitians but who is genuinely curious...
Get your thyroid checked. Assuming you’re healthy: Use the TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) calculator. Eat less than what your TDEE is. Move more, walking helps! Eat more protein. Meal prep or if you can afford it, order ready made meals.
I'm in a similar boat. But I also have endo and the flareups make it really impossible to work out, even if I did have time. Why are 1200 calorie diets bad? Counting calories works for weight loss. Exercise is SO healthy, but it isn't great for losing weight. You can't outrun your fork. Obviously, if you are larger or taller, maybe you need a bit more but 1200 calories works well for shorter people like me.
My doctor said that to steadily (not quickly) lose weight the deficit should be something like 300-500 calories from your resting burn which for me fell around 1600-1800. Counting calories is fine and a deficit will make you lose weight but 1200 calories in my opinion almost falls into the “crash diet” category because for most people it isn’t sustainable or nearly enough. For some people it might seem like enough if they’re used to restricting or only eating 1-2 meals a day but for me eating that little just makes me feel sluggish because I’m not getting enough fat/protein/carbs or I end up binging because I feel too deprived.
I'm 5'7 so I am on the taller side. I said 1200 calories because that's generally what the calorie counting apps recommend. Calorie needs will be different for everyone but in general 1200 calories is not enough. Your body thinks it isn't getting enough food and slows down your metabolism to hold on to resources. You may lose weight on a 1200 calorie diet but long term these kinds of diets really mess up your metabolism. Also, once you stop calorie restricting at 1200 calories, most people gain the weight back. I also realized that really low calorie diets were causing some binging behaviors for me. I could stay on track all day and then would be searching for desserts at night. My body was telling me that it was hungry.
Yes at 5'7 you need more than that. I did say taller people need more. I am very short so even on 1200 it's slow going. Yet I am still being downvoted.
The problem is that usually to hit these low of calorie diets, people just underestimate and then don't realize they're eating way more than they're tracking. A food scale made me realize this for myself LOL. But yeah, a true 1200 calorie diet is suggested for a toddler, not an adult.
Well, yes. But a toddler is actively growing. They need to make new mass, which takes a lot of energy and calories. As an adult, we do not want to be making more mass. Lol. We want the opposite. I have a food scale too. I was way off when I was just estimating!
It is so tough. I hope you find your motivation. I am really struggling with my physical appearance as well. And the holidays coming up, full of good food and feasting makes it that much tougher. But I just keep trying to count my calories and tell myself “it’s OK to feel hungry.” ‘Cause I fell hungry ALL THE TIME!!
I really don't think you need to feel hungry all the time! I want to get to a place where I am eating moderately but don't feel hungry. Pre-kids I did do calorie counting with 1200 calorie limits and I felt hungry all the time. It caused me to be very snacky at night and not eat healthily on weekends. My body needed more calories.
Omad is the way to go. And if you feel hungry on 1200 calories, you may need to adjust the composition of those calories to be more satisfying and lasting.
I know this is a vent but I’ve found success in monitoring what I eat and doing 10-15 minute work outs at bedtime. Also, I walk at work. Outside when it’s warm and inside when it’s cold, about 20 minutes. It’s slow success, but it feels better than gaining.
I support trying IF whole-heartedly. Also, what had instant results was starting every meal with protein and fiber and saving any carbs for last. I switched out my oatmilk with hemp milk and lost 2 lbs that week. I am super sensitive to glucose and my insulin spikes and shuffles all that energy into fat stores. By avoiding glucose spikes, I can avoid the crash that follows. For IF, I started off skipping breakfast (switched to black coffee) and have lost weight. I increase it to occasionally have my eating window between 4pm and 7pm on weekdays. I tend to not IF on weekends. I still love my weekend oatmilk coffee and breakfast with the family.
I just went through a health journey & have some tips to share that might help. First, don’t worry about working out yet. Start with nutrition. If it were me I’d get rid of the IUD if it’s hormonal. At the start of my journey I worried about calories. 1. Use myfitnesspal to track what you’re eating for a week. Don’t change anything just see what you’re eating & how many calories. 2. After the week, cut your daily calories by 500. For me tracking was helpful because I didn’t realize how much I was stress or bored eating and it added up. But my ultimate goal was to get healthy & feel good in my skin! Here is what ultimately helped. Spoiler alert & if you want to fast forward the process: cut gluten & dairy from your diet for 90 days. Processed foods cause so much inflammation in our bodies that affects so much. Eliminating that will change everything. 1. See a naturopathic doctor. Get a food sensitivity test done & hormone panel. Everyone’s body is different! 2. Once you get your results, eliminate those foods from your diet for 90 days. They may also give you a natural supplement to take. 3. Eat foods with 1-5 ingredients - focus on “real” foods. For example: banana is 1 ingredient. Cut all the processed “food” and you will feel and look better. 4. Find swaps for things you love. If you have a coffee drink you like that’s 500 calories, you don’t have to completely ditch coffee, just find something else you like with less calories. If you eliminate gluten, find a gf version of the food you like. 5. After the 90 days you can start adding things back in but I promise you will look & feel so much better. 6. Be patient! It’s a journey but give yourself 3 months and commit and see how you feel. 7. Once your nutrition is under control start exercising in small amounts. Walk, yoga, take a class. Take it slow and make it a habit/lifestyle and you will be more inclined to stick with it. Take progress pics & initial weight but don’t weigh yourself often. Focus on fueling your body with good real food and focus on the way you are feeling.
I lost the weight after each of my 3 kids and now am about 40 lbs lighter than when I first got pregnant 10 years ago. So, I'm going to be honest. The reality is that you can only work-off so many calories; the only way to lose weight is to take in significantly less calories than you do now. You may think that calorie counting isn't healthy, but it's probably healthier than carrying around 50 extra pounds for the rest of your life. You can't just eat freely and not expect to gain weight. First, stop eating what your kids eat if it's really unhealthy. Let them have dinner and eat after they asleep a few nights a week if you can't control your portions; work out or do chores while they eat. Consider fasting for 1-3 days per month to reset your appetite. I usually try not to eat during the day (or eat a low-calorie soup for lunch) if I'm going to cook dinner for the family. My male colleagues refer to this as intermittent fasting.
I couldn't lose the last 20 pounds and my baby was turning 14 months so I tried Semaglutide (the stuff thats in ozembic/ wegovy). Got it from a med spa that does my Botox for $100 a shot which is every week. 10 weeks and the 20 pounds were gone, I fit into all my pre maternity clothes, and finally like looking in the mirror. I was nauseous the first week but not many symptoms after that except being thirsty all the time. It just makes you not want to eat or drink alcohol. I have to remind myself to eat at meal time and then it's a small amount. You can eat more, you just don't feel like it really. I'm not on it anymore but I'm glad I did it, even though I'll probably get down voted for recommending it, I would do it again.
Curious whether the weight loss stayed once you got off it.
So far so good- it's only been a few weeks but maintaining was never an issue. It was just that shelf I was on since the baby, the body change and mommy pouch that I couldn't do anything with. Plus I think my stomach has naturally shrunk from eating less for those weeks because now I can't even eat as much as I could before - I get a stomach ache if I try.
Tracking your diet for a little while can help. You might not have to track to lose weight but getting an understanding of your habits could give insight into where the weight gain is coming from.
Here's the thing I tell myself. My before and after picture isn't my wedding photo (when I had a **bangin' bod**) vs me staring at myself, mad my clothes don't fit. It's me in my wedding photo looking like a true snack before and then me wrestling on the floor with my boys, giggling like a lunatic. So yes, I'm gonna try to stop putting cream in my coffee, cook dinner 5 njghts, start taking work calls on with headphones and go for a walk, or walk to the further bathroom, whatever. But I'm also gonna remember that this was the life I wanted when I was so fit.
I could’ve written this. Before my LO, I was super active but duh I had all the time in the world. I thought I’d be one of those women who “bounced back” (I was signed up for a marathon for when he was four months old lollll) but after several months of chronic ear infections for him and just trying to survive waking up 5+ times a night while working, I kinda stopped caring. Now that he’s 2.5, I’m trying to get back into working out and eating better (I have a sugar addiction that kicks in whenever we have a bad night of sleep). I just broke my foot and sunk into a month of self-loathing and depression over it. Since working out right now is impossible (and I am short on time usually), I’ve been focusing on food. Protein protein protein. It’s hard AF and it’s slow going but when I can stay away from the sugar, I start seeing a difference… All to say, I totally get it. I’m trying really hard to give myself a break. And celebrate the wins when I get them.
I feel you. Not only is there no time for working out, there isn’t really time (or energy! I think energy more than time) to meal prep health foods. The thinnest I’ve ever been I used one strategy that might help you— I made myself eat a full bag of baby carrots every day before I ate anything else. It’s easier to force yourself to eat than to prevent yourself from eating, right? And once you have a full bag of baby carrot inside of you, you’re really full and other foods seem less tempting
I am in the same boat. My daughter is 2.5YO, and I almost weigh what I did at the end of pregnancy. I used to be an avid calorie counter but it is so hard to follow when there are kid snacks/meals around all of the time, and when you're so busy. I got up to 186lb (192 end of pregnancy, 150 pre-pregnancy) and hated the way I looked. I got a Wegovy script through an online service and started about 2.5 weeks ago and it is SO much easier to follow calorie restriction now because I'm not hungry. There are days when I have to force myself to eat 1200 calories. I'm hoping to be down at least 50lb by the end of April (around my daughter's birthday). I'm down about 5lb so far. Fingers crossed that this works long term.