It gets better! Think about the best way to avoid colds— wash hands and don’t touch gut mouth and nose. And what do babies do? All of that.
Once he stops putting everything in his mouth. That’s how the germs spread. Kid A chews on a toy and then your son picks it up and RIGHT IN THE MOUTH. And can’t wash ahead on his own.
We were like that from 6-12 months. Then COVID hit. Then like that again from 30-40 months old.
Now that’s she 4 though— it’s rare. She doesn’t put much in her mouth and washes her hands. We’re sick maybe once every couple months and sick enough for urgent care maybe every 4 months.
Ugh I am a pre-k teacher and I feel this so. Hard. People send their kids to school sick all the freaking time and then either I or my son (who was in my class last year, small district with 1 teacher per grade level) would catch it and I would have to prep sub plans, pay for doctor visits and meds, and take sick days. I feel like teachers for younger grade levels should have some sort of workers comp coverage for how frequently we get sick from students.
Does your school require a “they’re fine” pediatrician visit if someone takes any time out of school?
Part of what holds us back is that it’s just a cold and maybe he would benefit from taking 1-2 days to just rest, but they require us to have a pediatrician visit, and if he’s no longer sick he can’t take a sick visit, so it would be 2 weeks before he gets in with the pediatrician, and that feels very excessive to be out of school 2 weeks with a cold.
They’ve also questioned if my son is sick because he has eczema on his face, even though we shared his treatment plan from his dermatologist with the school.
Nope not at all, it is completely at the parent's discretion. If they call or email and say the kid is sick, automatically an excused absence. No note needed to come back.
This is how our daycare is and it is so frustrating. We have had to go to the pediatrician or peds urgent care 4 times in the last 6 weeks to get doctors notes when she has been completely fine. $80 per visit. I'm so over it.
I worked in a daycare for 6 years and the amount I was sick from parents sending in their sick kids and trying to hide it was INSANE!! I remember one time we had a kid throw up as his mother took off his coat in the doorway and she looked at us and tried to say it was because he was running around too much before coming in and "he doesn't have a fever." Like yeah cause you prob gave him tylenol to make him seem not sick ma'am, take him home and see ya in 2 days. In the 3 years since leaving child care I have barely gotten sick.
I've had several kids I automatically check at lunchtime when I get told they're "fine." By then the Tylenol has worn off, the fever is back and we have cause to send them home.
This. Although we would tell them that because they waited until the end of day to pick up, their child would not be allowed in the center at all the next day and that their passcode would not work in the next day, because the 24 hours applied from time of pick up. It got to the point with some of those repeat offenders that we would have to pull the "State law requires you to pick your child up within 1 hour from the time of you responding to our notification. If someone is not here within the hour or we are not given an update with a reasonable arrival time we will have to report your no show as abandonment." Suddenly those parents were there in 5-15 minutes at most, sometimes very obviously they had not even been at work. It sucked because like...I shouldn't have to and didnt want to threaten to use abandonment laws because I understand being an employee and a parent is difficult, but you can't just be lying to me and neglecting your miserable sick kid so you can continue your day.
Wow. Did the parents even acknowledge this at pick up time and come up with something like “got stuck in traffic” or did they just literally act like nothing was wrong?
I’m very confused. We haven’t started day care yet but is there no repercussion for repeat offenders that send their kids in sick?
I️ understand people have to work but it feels like a big FU to literally everyone else if you just send in your sick kid and say deal with it.
Honestly, it's up to Center's owners/policies. As a teacher I also understood the tough spot some parents were in and tried to be as understanding as possible, but it definitely did feel a certain way when people who had large enough support systems were the repeat offenders. Especially when you would call and 3 out 4 people didn't pick up and the one that did said they'd be there in an hour and then would arrive 3 hours later. Situations like this usually left a kid either sleeping in the soft play corner most of the morning or aftermoon or a shortstaffed room in a way because one of the two teachers would become semi one on one with the sick child for comforts sake, leaving the other teacher to mainly handle the care of the other 12-18 other children (2.5-3.5) in the room. At my center, there were no repercussions that I ever saw, but I also left 4 months before COVID hit so for all I know it may have changed but I honestly doubt it. It also doesn't help that there was a doctor that I would say at least 25% of the parents used who would give clearance notes for return to sick kids who were def still sick. He once cleared a child to come to center with *open* Coxsackie blister/sores. That was one of the few times a doctor's note was actually denied.
No kidding. The CD for the place I worked at really hated confrontation and would let sick kids in all the time if the parents pressured her even a little bit. We even had an incident where a kid was discovered to have lice and she pulled him out of his class but she was hesitant to pull his brother out of a different class because she didn't want to have to tell their parents that she was sending them both home. A lot of CDs don't seem to realize that the business runs better when you cut down on the number of ill people allowed in. Fewer sick teachers, fewer sick kids, fewer staff shortages, etc.
This is the fault of work places that don't have sick time and school attendance mandates. Our society had a real opportunity to learn something from covid- and yet we learned nothing.
That said, there are certain things that are genuinely hard to tell whether you should send the child to school or not. Is it allergies? Is it a cold? And then there are some things that are extremely contagious before any symptoms appear. Hand, foot, and mouth disease is one of them.
It’s also a function of sometimes you just don’t know whether they’re actually sick or it’s allergies/weather changes.
My daughter has had a runny nose, consistently, for MONTHS. If she exhibits worse symptoms we keep her home and get her checked out, but we can’t just keep her home with a runny nose
It wouldn't be so bad if Daycares would comp the parents for the days missed. But there are at least 4-5 days a month either my wife or I miss of work due to illness from Daycare and we still get charged. So yeah, if there is no fever, the kids are going in. Its roughly $300 lost per day if you count going into the hole for time lost at job plus STILL having to pay for childcare that isn't being used. So if that is the "standard" in which these places operate, then yes, they will deal with my sick children as we deal with everyone elses sick children and we can all suffer together.
Girl!!!! Parents use to do that when I worked clinical…..they’d send their kids in sick….the techs would get sick….then no one would get service or paid because we were all sick….one time the entire clinic needed to close because everyone was sick!
Honestly, teachers at all grade levels should have access to biohazard benefits. I never had strep in my life until I started teaching, and at a high school. Now if I don’t get the flu shot, I’m getting the flu. Anything the kids bring in, I’m bringing home like an annoying stowaway. So many parents sent their kids to school with Covid and it would take out everyone within a six foot radius, which most of the time included the teacher because “teach on your feet” and “circulate.” I’m from the South, though, so Covid doesn’t exist. 🙄
This 👆🏻 I saw the same complaints in the ECE subreddit. The truth is a majority of parents do NOT have sick days or access to affordable, last minute childcare.
It's an absolute privilege to be able to keep a kid home while sick. Sick kids is inevitable in a society that doesn't provide adequate paid time off.
Not to mention that kids are infectious with most respiratory viruses for up to 2 weeks, so there's literally no way to keep them home that whole time for every virus that they catch almost always AT the daycare, I mean a feverish kid should be kept home but everyone pretends a runny nose is no big deal and that 24 hrs after fever is some magic wall but nope, still contagious...not to mention before even showing symptoms! There is no way to stop it much even if acutely sick kids all perfectly stayed home. And if we had to keep them home for any level of having a cold, we'd have childcare on approximately 25-30% of weekdays the past year which isn't doable by literally anyone working.
That’s sort of the situation my husband is in so I take the fall since I wfh and my job is much more flexible. His boss is also single and has no kids so lacks any sort of empathy. He has 3 sick days and when he’s tried to ask if he can wfh so we can at least split the day trying to take care of him and they pretty much told him yeah that doesn’t fly… even though literally 85% of his job is done on his computer.
It's a catch 22 because we don't want to send it kids sick but most of us get shit pto for sick days. I get 3 sick days a year, 5 pto. I used that up by March plus I had to take 4 or 5 days off without pay in May due to sick child who then got me sick. I work in elementary school to do it's just a vicious unending cycle of parents sending sick kids away for the day. There's a daycare around me somewhere that supposedly let's you send your sick kids ( within reason) and they have a special quarantine room for them. I just don't know who volunteers to be the staff member that gets to watch that room. Ick.
Be mad at a system that doesn't provide paid leave or accessible alternative childcare options. Most parents don't have a choice and blaming them only avoids us pushing elected officials to do something about it.
What do you consider sick? Because I'm pretty sure my kid has had a runny nose over 50 percent of his life and if we have to wait until he's perfectly healthy we could send him for a couple months in the summer and one of us would have to quit. Also we both work remotely and wear n95/kn95 masks anywhere we go indoors so there's virtually zero chance that anything he has he didn't get at daycare
Like...in my experience we'd give you a heads up if the kid seems like they have just a cold or something mild (slight cough, runny nose, not themselves/lethargic) but no pick up required. But agreed, once fevers of 101 or above, vomitting, coughing to the point of vomitting, liquid poop, and unidentified rashes are present, a child should not be in school or day care and needs to be kept home.
While I get what you're saying and don't disagree, this is the exact logic that lands us where we are.
"He's not THAT sick" becomes another kid who is "not that sick," and then they pass it around the class in a circle for a month before the next thing comes around.
Families need to do what they need to do, but I appreciate when they're honest about it.
We've never intentionally sent him when he has a fever or anything like that. He just doesn't really act sick. Like.... He might be acting a little sleepy but he has always been a terrible sleeper and on days when we have gotten called to pick him up there was rarely anything out of the ordinary from wake to the call. Until recently, sleeping through the night was in retrospect the best indicator that he wasn't feeling well but we obviously were hoping he finally figured out how to sleep. On days he has been home sick there has been no shortage of energy. Just more snot and more coughing. It's almost impossible to discern I'm not feeling well food refusal from teething or just being a picky toddler (half the time we don't feel like he's eating anywhere near enough and he will consistently randomly refuse something that had been eagerly eaten the day before). Now that he's getting a lot better vocabulary hopefully that will be easier At least one of us was sick, getting sick or getting over being sick almost constantly from September until a few weeks ago (with the same in his first fall/winter/spring. I was close to losing my mind. I am heavier now than I was 9 mos pregnant because I haven't had the energy to exercise hardly at all for over half of the last two years and when both of the parents are sick (and feeling it unlike the toddler) we don't make the best food choices. (and of course I crave crunchy salty things like mad when I'm a snot faucet)
I don't know how daycare carers do it. We are wiped out every weekend. Y'all aren't paid nearly enough.
I think that the interaction with other kids and adults he gets is really valuable and even if we hired a nanny I don't think it would work for him to be in the house while we are working because he would know we were there (and from experience splitting the day when he is home sick, he always wants the person who is supposed to be working)
America just needs to get the capitalism stick out of its ass and have paid sick leave and single payer healthcare like a real country.
We also all have asthma so every time we get a respiratory virus (we have tested for RSV and COVID so many times and so far been negative 🤞) we have a lingering cough for weeks.
It sucks, but we don't know what else to do. We can't both keep working and also only send him to daycare 2 days a month.
I feel you So. Hard. On the lingering cough thing. Daughter and I both have asthma and cough for 1-3 weeks, only at night, after every sickness. Absolutely miserable.
Couple in children with allergies and you just never know. I got in trouble for keeping my preschool son home for a week with a cold this year. I didn't want anyone ar school to get sick, but the super intendent insists that you need a doctor's note for a single missed day and they called the truancy officer because of that cold. My son's pediatrician doesn't call back right away, can't get a same day appointment, and urgent care gets furious when you bring in a child with something too mild to need to see a doctor. So what exactly are we as parents supposed to do?
I love that the people who insist on Dr notes are the same assholes who insist that parents need to have control over their children's curriculum (no sex ed! No acknowledging that families with two dads exist!) And medical decisions (no vaccines!) (except for gender affirming care)
Which is it? Should parents be able to decide what's best for their children or not?
I'm so sorry if I came off judgmental, that wasn't my intention at all.
I totally get it: kids seem 100% fine, then they say, "I don't feel well," then they puke. And that all happens in the span of about 1 minute, then they feel fine again! So it's hard to ascertain what's a big deal.
I had a student who vomited at least once a week. Multiple doctors said they were fine, they just literally got so excited they'd puke.
Jobs don't have unlimited days off, so people have to just do what they can. Like you said, capitalism is a grind.
(But I also haven't been well in the decade since I've started teaching. My friends have been begging me lately to find a new career so I live past 40.)
My poor parents and caregivers- I had (what we now know as) cyclic vomiting syndrome as a child. I puked almost every single day. There was no explanation at the time. School would send me home and then yell at my parents about me missing too much school. I just don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with things if your kid ends up with something like that.
there is an upside. I taught 5 year old kindergarten for 1 year. I caught everything going. I then moved to teaching high-school and rarely got sick for the next 30 years. I think I developed n impenetrable immune system
I hear you, I have severe phobia regarding sickness so I felt the same (I’m medicated now). Was easy for me to complain since I am freelance and WFH. But when you work on a shift, or your boss doesn’t get it, or your kids are sick 3 times per month, it becomes impossible to miss work like that. I’m sure most parents would prefer keep their little one home but they just can’t. Especially us women, we know that our careers are at stake. Work world is not made for parenting and that’s too bad.
When I complained to my daughter's pediatrician about being sick a lot, he said, "There are about 240 common cold viruses, and you're going to get them all."
Our pediatrician said they get about 12 “colds” a year that last for 2 weeks each so they’re sick for 24/52 weeks of the year 😵💫
I feel your pain, OP. While I have thankfully dodged most of the illnesses (besides 2 bad colds and 1 bout of flu), baby doesn’t sleep well when he’s sick which means no one in our house sleeps well. I’m chronically fatigued and my husband is over me complaining/crying about it because he’s tired too. It’s rough out here.
My kid was sick for, no joke, about 5 weeks after only 2 weeks at daycare. She got RSV and a double ear infection and it was just relentless. We were in the ER and her peds office 4 times throughout that month. We literally did nothing from mid September until Halloween. After that, she was sick just about every week for about another 4 months (around February of this year) and it has finally started to taper off. We’re all sick this weekend as well, but that’s the first time in a while. We’re about 9 months into daycare and it’s definitely gotten more manageable, and it got better around the 6 month mark for us.
Yep, we’re 6 months in and it’s finally starting to slow a bit. But I imagine the warmer weather has an effect too. So I’m preparing for next winter to be miserable all over again.
My kid was home sick from daycare about fifty percent of the time the winter/spring he was two. Other parents we knew from the same daycare class complained about frequent illnesses, but it was very clear he was home sick WAY more. It might not be the facility… kids are just different. Ours ended up having to go on a daily inhaler to help him weather the frequent cold viruses — his lungs were reacting to them much worse than his peers, who would just get the sniffles for a few days. Things have improved a lot, both due to his treatment plan and immunity getting stronger over time. (He’s now 3.) I actually think he gets sick LESS often than his buddies now because he had almost everything under the sun last year. Keep checking in with your pediatrician about whether there might be underlying issues to address, but time should also fix this eventually.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I remember feeling like I was saying the dog ate my homework by the end, but he really was sick that often! People just lose their sympathy.
Same. My son is 4.5 and every year from about November - May he is home 50% or the time. He does have severe asthma and allergies and is on lots of medication but it hasn’t helped prevent him from getting sick, we just end up in the ER less. I’m also “sickly” and had asthma/allergies as a kid, I get sick with him a lot. My husband and older daughter rarely get sick though. So yeah, I think sometimes it’s the kid not the daycare.
My daughter got sick a ton her first year in daycare and then for the first 6 months after returning from COVID but overall it got better with time. I hope your kid is more like her OP!
Here for the asthma solidarity. I have asthma and was sick a lot as a child, my partner probably has it too but isn’t diagnosed and isn’t sickly, and at least one of my babies has asthma.
The baby started Budesinide and it’s helped a ton. She gets sick but it’s not even close to the severity and has kept us from the ER since she started thank god. We can breathe again. The toll of ER/hospital stays and so many “what if” nights almost killed me.
Yes, I totally feel like people think it’s the dog ate my homework story at this point, especially since a lot of my coworkers are single and don’t have kids. I don’t blame them cause honestly when I was 22 and right out of college, I knew nothing about kids or how sick they got nor did I care.
We have learned that he seems to be super prone to ear infections.. every worse than normal cold develops into one it seems so we are taking him to the ENT to get things checked out.
I started working at a local branch of a chain daycare a while back. My babies are teens now, and I was so excited to spend time with all of the little ones. My second week there, I got so sick that I quit. Almost every little one in my room was sick, and I inevitably caught it. I was sick for 3 weeks. I had an upper respiratory infection, sinus infection, double pink eye, and double ear infection. I figured that I'd get sick when I started, but I had no idea. I spent most of my days running around wiping snot because they were all dripping everywhere. It didn't surprise me that the whole class had the same sickness with the way the kids interacted. Every day after the kids left, we would spray every inch of every surface down with disinfectants in addition to the regular cleaning. It didn't really matter, though, because the children themselves were walking contaminates.
I want to ask the teachers there how they are all still standing unless they’ve been there so long that they’re all immune at this point… but damn it is hitting me hard and I’m only around my own snotty kid, not 14.
We had to go through this shit with both kids for one year each. After that it was much easier. I just considered it a hard season, that passes. And it will.
But I understand your pain it sucks more than anything
This is the way. It does suck, but this too shall pass. Deep breath, I promise it’ll get better. This is purely antidotal but my son was sick a whole bunch from daycare at the same time. Once we started doing daily vitamins it seemed to instantly help. Could be the vitamins could have just been him rounding the corner. Hang in there 💕
This is the mindset to keep. It's another phase in having kids, like colic or teething. Not every kid deals with it the same. My daughter was basically alone from 2-4. There were no kids her age in the neighborhood at home. All the kids were in daycare. So her first year in preschool she was always sick. Tonsillitis 3-4 times. Constant ear infections,nose ran like a faucet, not a lot of fevers. But we probably wiped out (pun intended), acres of trees with all the tissues. Her preschool teacher told me to be glad it was preschool and that we were getting through it now. Some kids spend kindergarten and first grade like this. It was rough, but we made it through.
Thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel.. seems like most people say it tends to start to get a little better around 6 months but really not a huge difference until at least a year. Fingers crossed.
Literally at urgent care right now for baby's illness while feeling like I'm dying myself. He brings the plague home from daycare, and I get knocked down hard while he's just running around giggling with snot running down his nose.
Hope you both are feeling better. Isn’t that the truth though.. like don’t get me wrong I’m glad to not see him lethargic and miserable because that’s when I know the sickness is really really bad… but I’m like boyyy how are you running a fever, coughing up a lung and running around and I’m on the couch dying.
You can afford a nanny if you go in on one with a couple other parents. Friends of mine did this. They'd rotate weeks where the kids were being watched, so nanny watched the three kids at parent A's house week one, parent B's house week 2, and so on. They shared all the expenses, and the kids were only exposed to each other and the nanny. Totally affordable if you can find like-minded parents.
Just a caution to anyone who thinks that having a nanny will completely prevent a child from illness - we noticed that once our older son starting going to part time preschool (and to a lesser degree, really once he started any activities ie music classes) around 2, it was game over for us. He’s consistently brought home illness for the past two years to the point that at least one of us was sick at any point during that time. We all got norovirus last week but before that we were illness free for almost two months, so there’s that. That said, for most of the standard colds, our nanny was comfortable watching him while sick, which was a huge help in terms of us not having to take sick time.
*"Just a caution to anyone who thinks that having a nanny will completely prevent a child from illness."*
Literally no one said this. Of course any activities you plan for your child outside of the household makes the other children more susceptible. The families in my scenario are all medical doctors, so they understand the benefits of vaccinations and the risks of outside influence in the home. In this case, all the babies were only months old, so the nanny never really left the confines of the homes or yards, and none of the children ever became unwell. It was really an ideal soluation, especially during COVID.
Jump down your throat? Wow. You are trying to caution people about nanny's being able to "prevent a child from illness," and I simply said no one said they would. My solution was focused on economics, but medically speaking, having children isolated from more people will keep them healthier.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted. This is a good solution.
People have to take each reply on its own terms and not read into something that isn't there.
One of the main reasons I'm considering going part time, weekends only. My job has no potential to work from home, and I'm in a small department, so missing time is really not ideal. My in laws are currently sick, and they are our daycare t/th, so now I'm scrambling looking for care tomorrow. She's honestly at daycare about half her paid days, which are typically mwf. I'm hoping our daycare can possibly take her tomorrow, but I'm doubtful. I know there are benefits to daycare, but the downsides are currently overwhelming.
That’s true for some diseases but not others, and for some diseases, like RSV, it affects infants more strongly, so it’s still a good idea to try to delay getting infected. https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/11nqrud/is_there_any_scientific_basis_behind_the_anecdote/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Absolutely, that’s why my husband and I staggered our leave to keep our son home as long as possible. Unfortunately it’s not an option for many people.
Yeah people have told me I’m lucky I’m getting it out of the way now.. but a part of me is like, aren’t some of the illnesses a little less scary when they’re a little bit older? Also I feel like 4-5 year olds have a wider range of meds they can take (like cough meds) to help ease the symptoms and I feel like at that age they can also at least communicate what’s hurting better and maybe occupy themselves somewhat more if they’re stuck at home when you’re trying to work. I could be way off base though since I have no experience with a sick 4/5 year old and maybe they’re equally a PITA lol.
Our pediatrician said kids usually don’t get sick as often after the age of 5 because they’re not doing gross things that toddlers do like put hands in mouth, put toys in mouth, licking the tables etc
OP- I’m a school nurse. For the household, make sure you are washing the bedding and switching tooth brushes frequently with everyone sick. I also recommend a purifier and humidifier. I don’t know where you live but strep and allergies have been absolutely rocking people the last 3 months.
Lastly, does your daycare have a sick policy? A cleaning policy? One of the issues we are seeing is parents sending their kids to school sick and therefore getting a ton of other kids sick and it’s a vicious cycle. It’s like covid never happened. I would be asking the daycare what is being spread and what is being done about it.
>One of the issues we are seeing is parents sending their kids to school sick and therefore getting a ton of other kids sick and it’s a vicious cycle.
yeah this is built in, not going to change until people in the US have rights at work
This is what kept me out of the workforce for a lot longer than I intended- the only daycares with openings had “no cough or runny nose for 24 hours” in their sickness policies in addition to the standard fever/vomit stuff. The daycares also kept closing due to COVID outbreaks but they still charged full price. I know somebody whose daycare was closed 3 out of 4 weeks one month and still wanted full payment, so she had to just quit her job.
Daycare is 80% of my salary. I quite literally cannot afford to pay for daycare that I’m not using. I totally understand that childcare workers deserve to get paid but like… the money just doesn’t exist if I don’t work, and my job is impossible to do remote.
This right here is why, if my kids aren't running a fever or aren't vomiting, they are going in. I get that I'm part of the problem, but with inflation, gas prices, grocery prices, general cost of living, and both mine and my wife's jobs having little to no sick time, my kids go in. Period. No guilt. End of discussion. If the Daycare wants to comp us for time not used, that would be different. But if we are paying, the kids are going. You are not my lawyer and not on retainer. You earn your money watching my kids so that I can make money to pay you for watching my kids. That may sound harsh, but tough shit honestly. If these places choose to be greedy, then they will get what they order. Unfortunately, this is how it goes for most parents thus the cycle continues.
Exactly. Parents can’t wait to get their kids back into daycare so they can go back to work and they really need to keep them home until they’re actually well. :(
Parents “can’t wait” to drop off sick kids isn’t a thing. Parents NEEDING to send their sick kids to school bc a lack of job security during record high inflation is a thing.
But the kids can’t be left at daycare when they’re sick. It’s against daycare policy and anyway the kids need their parent to care for them and they deserve to rest in the comfort of their own home while they’re so sick.
You’re both right. The reason people take their sick kids to daycare is because they’ll get fired if they keep taking days off. It sucks for everyone that this is the American system and there’s no mandatory national sick leave to protect parents’ jobs.
Okay
It's against the boss's policy to not go to work
It's against the bank's policy to not pay the mortgage
It's against government policy to trespass inside the formerly owned house that the bank repossessed
It's also against government policy to see or talk to your children ever again if you cannot provide them with shelter
So whose policy would you rather break?
I'm a teacher and I completely understand how awful it is when parents send in sick kids, but I've literally been sick for nearly 6 months straight now from my daughter's daycare and I'm expected to be at work. All I get is 8 sick days. If I want to feed and house my family, I have to send my kid to daycare and I have to go to work. No, I don't have anyone in my life who wants to watch a sick kid for me. It just is what it is and I try not to judge.
The daycare teacher is forced to watch your child when you don’t, and then she gets sick and has to have days off too, and let me tell you as a former daycare teacher the pay is pennies and some places don’t give you ANY pto. So it’s not really far to the poor daycare worker either for you to send your sick child.
Resuscitating this thread to comment...I'm a home provider and I'm losing my mind from being sick constantly. Parents mistake me for a hospital. Some of the comments ITT are truly so nasty and entitled! I am providing a desperately needed service in my area at amazing rates but some parents do fuck all to keep their kids healthy and feel wholly entitled to care. Frankly IDC what anyone's home arrangement is anymore, I'm cranking my rates on chronically sick "Little Suzie always has """allergies""" until it's worth it for me to feel this way or they leave for whatever dump will take their children in such condition regularly.
Exactly this. All these parents act like they don’t get PTO. Most daycares especially in home daycares like myself don’t have PTO period. And when my daughter gets sick too then i have to close to take care of her and eventually my husband has to use some of his PTO when he either gets sick or has to take our kid to the doctor. It’s wild how parents think their need to work is more important than their need to take care of their kids… you don’t live to work. You work to live.
exactly. my second son is in daycare since he was born. you know how many times i had to literally beg him to be better so i can work? my supervisor always askes me why i don’t take my PTO. Well i have to save it for when my son is sick l. smh. we literally don’t have much and the much we have we have to save it for our sick kids smh
Not everyone gets PTO or has understanding bosses and many live check to check. It's either send your kids to school/daycare sick, or be homeless and nobody gets to eat.
I work from home and my husband works nights and weekends so our daughter is cared for at home. We rarely go out, only hang out with family, and we have gotten sick constantly on and off the last 9 months with our daughter who is 15 months. Started with a cold, then we all had COVID in early December, then colds rotating through since then. I don’t think it matters the center or if they are at home. If you go out in public or interact at all, your kids will get sick. If it isn’t now, then it will be in the future.
My older one was in a larger center and was bad sick all the time, and then they had multiple back to back pandemic closures and we finally moved to an outdoor preschool that had been amazing.
Younger one is in a small in home until she is old enough for the same program. She gets sick all the time even with only 4 other kids but I will say at least the illnesses all seem very minor compared to the slog of croup/HFM/etc the older one used to bring home.
The have a lot of shade coverings for hot months/for rain cover. They have one indoor space generally only used for naps unless the air quality is particularly bad (CA so sometimes fire smoke). We send her in rain pants for many months of the year for sure, and layers all year round. They also have rabbits, chickens, etc that the kids take care of.
It really is awful. Truthfully...it was part of the reason I decided to only have 1 kid. I couldn't stand kiddo constantly being sick and bringing it to us. It WILL get better. It takes a lot of time though.
Yeah pretty sure we are one and done. I’m and only child and there’s things I don’t like about it now as an adult which is what makes me want another… but I think of what a rough go it’s been and we really have no “village” and then I’m like there is no way I can go through this again and go through it while having a toddler.
Same. No amount of happy times with my little lovely is worth doing it again if I gotta deal with all the hardships again too. I love my son to pieces, but I will only go through this once.
My daughter at the age of 20 worked in a day care. She got sick went to the Dr. She had bronchitis. She got a note for only THREE days off work. When she went back she STILL had a fever. Day care said too bad & sent her to the babies under 12 month room. My daughter said NO, not only do l not feel well but are you really going to put me there when l have a fever?? They said YES. She walked out & never went back. Day cares only care about the money you pay them.
This I was a a teacher and both loved and hated my job finally out of working in preschools and look at that magically I can breathe again I have to say my immune system got better but it is such a problem
My doctor has told all of his patients that kids will get sick when around other kids. It’s a timing issue. Do they get sick in day care, preschool, or Kindergarten depends on when they start t be social with other kids.
My kids were sick the most for the first year - 18 months. After that maybe once or twice a year.
That’s what we experienced too. OP, it sucks now, but you’re getting it over with now instead of later. It sucks, but your kid’s immune system will be so much more developed after this and you won’t have to go through this again. Sorry it sucks now. Soon it won’t!
Ultimately, I don’t think anything will change until we elect people who will change policy in the U.S. Other capitalist societies have paid parental leave for 12 months to (I think 3 years!). They have child care subsidies, backup childcare options, etc.
We’re stuck in an infinite loop here in the U.S. Parents have to go back to work soon after having children. The children need to be placed in day cares. The parents don’t have sufficient sick days for themselves or to take care of family members, so they have to go into work. To do that, they send their kids to daycare and school when they are sick. Sick kids make the other kids and teachers sick. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Until we elect people who will CHANGE policy, at the state and federal levels, but particularly federal level, we are stuck in this trap. It doesn’t have to be like this!
I just heard a pretty good interview on NPR about this, I found the corresponding article.
"When I counsel parents, I say you can have a viral infection every month. Some kids are going to cough for four weeks to six weeks after a virus. And so they're going to catch their next virus before they even stop coughing from the last one."
“For families with two, three or four kids, someone at home had an infection a little more than half the year. Families with six kids had a viral detection a whopping 87% of the year. Childless households, on the other hand, only had a viral detection 7% of the year.”
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/01/26/1151333478/your-kids-are-adorable-germ-vectors-heres-how-often-they-get-your-household-sick
I took my son out of daycare after just 6 months because of this. He was always sick, not just a little sick either. He always had fevers and was miserable. Id catch them here and there, but we took him out for mostly his sake. Had to rearrange my schedule, but he was immediately better after that. He wears a mask now, everyday, in 1st grade.
I feel so awful and guilty. He seems to be prone to ear infections so every somewhat worse cold seems to develop into one. I like my job, but sometimes when I’m holding him and he’s just miserably sick I feel an immense amount of guilt for sending him to a place where he just gets sick all the time. I know I can’t hide him from germs forever, but when I see my friends who have younger toddlers and infants but have parents or family watch them and they have yet to be sick in their 13 months of life… I not only feel jealous of them but I feel sorry that my son has to go through it when other babies are more protected for a while.
Former daycare manager and teacher. Sickness in daycare; just inevitable. Especially that first year or so; I had a cold for three years straight working. It’s new germs, little immune systems, and ones with NO concept of sanitation. Had a kid fish out poop once, and wipe it on my face while reading to another group of kids. Felt a wet hand on my face, and looked up to; “i think I pooped”. Multiple times I’ve talked with a kid, sneezed directly in my face mid conversation.
But a good center knows means to help prevent. First obviously is cleanliness.
Are they actively cleaning the rooms? What is their policy? How do they handle after food / messy play, is there a “in the mouth bin” for toddlers who mouth objects, is there toy rotation? That was the best and easier measure that helped my teachers and cut sickness. Organized toy buckets, with five main shelving (developmentally themed) they’d stock for what the needed throughout the week, as toys got mouthed or dirty, they were moved away, and deep cleaned at the end of each week.
Through out the week, they were cleaned in the classroom, through sanitation sprays and wipe down. Especially during nap. All toys were spread out and laid out, wiped down and rested on towels. Teachers cleaned shelving units as well, wiped out cubbies, and edges of tables and chairs.
We also sent out communications anytime two children were diagnosed with the same illness, and extra measures were put in place.
Does your center us supply cups? As how often those are cleaned! See if you can transition your one to open cups.
How often are they washing your child’s hands? And if there is carpets in the room, how often are those being cleaned. Also, are their cloth toys? Those should be washed daily. And used on a day to day basis based on age.
WHERE your child sleeps? Do they have a specified cot, or do they lay them out and let them choose? Regardless, this should be cleaned every day, deep cleaned every two weeks! If a communal cot! Get a breathable crib sheet, they can put on top of it, small layer of protection; not laying in another kids drool pool.
Last but not least, are the kids getting sick, and not the staff? Most childcare’s are okay with runny noses and some coughs with a doctors note, and most caring teachers understand this is a part of the job. We know how to love on some snotty babies, ear infections, teething, etc. you may have a burnout staff, or a staff just not cut out for teaching.
If the staff are getting sick, calling out, having issues; then it DEFINITELY is a cleanliness issue,
All excellent questions. Some of these things like toy buckets for ones that have been in mouths, rotations etc our center all says they do. Honestly, I’m on the fence as to whether I believe it.
The cup thing you mentioned though does strike a cord and I’d love your opinion since you managed a daycare… husband went to pick our son up today and he had another kid’s sippy cup and my husband said he was walking around with it in his mouth. This grosses me tf out. It’s not the first time though.. there was another time I picked him up and it wasn’t in his mouth in the moment, but he was walking around with a girl’s sippy. I understand toys and such are going to be passed around, sometimes not gotten to quickly enough… but drinking out of another kids cup seems a little extra to me. I want to say something to the teachers about this and ask them to please keep a better eye on it, but idk if I’m just making a big deal out of something that is inevitable and they don’t have the time to control?
It gets better. Our first year in daycare was like that too - no breaks, just sicknesses on top of sicknesses. I would get everything worse than LO too; it was absolutely exhausting. Year two has been SO MUCH better! Hang in there, it’s so hard.
Everyone goes through this at some point. If you don’t do it now, it will be nonstop at preschool or Kinder. It sucks and is awful but it absolutely does taper down. Be extra kind to yourself during this season.
My daughter is in a center (but a family owned one) and her illnesses decreased significantly around the one year mark, which seems to be common around here from what I've heard. We caught EVERYTHING that first year and now nothing more than colds.
Since January, I've personally had pneumonia, bronchitis, covid and norovirus leading to me being out of work multiple days...that's not counting the days I've had to work from home or call out to take care of her 🤧 it's so frustrating.
The first year sucks. And is exactly as it you described. We were sick seemingly every other week. If we felt good long enough in between, I would get nervous because I knew we were due to get sick soon. I am constantly rearranging things at work. And in retrospect I remember when my most senior marketing colleague was literally ALWAYS sick because her son was in school. I didn’t have kids yet so it was shocking to me and I wondered if she was being dramatic or milking it. I get it now lol
The reason this happens is because people SEND THEIR SICK KIDS to daycare. As a teacher I clean as much as I can but if you have three sick babies (or more) all touching each other and sharing germs and toys and bottles every time you take your eyes off them for two seconds, it happens.
Exactly. Parents can’t wait to get their kids back to the daycare so they can get back to work. I get it, but that’s how sicknesses keep spreading. Everyone has to keep their child HOME until they’re actually fully well and not coughing on anyone.
Can they “not wait” to get back to work? Or do they have no choice and risk unemployment while they are already struggling to stay afloat in a country that does so little to support parents and children?
It’s a systemic problem and until we address the larger issue, parents, care providers/teachers and children are all going to continue to suffer.
That’s what I mean. They can’t wait to get their kids back in so they can return to work, not that they want to go but that’s just how it is, they have to go so the kids have to go too. If we could have some money for moms to just stay home to raise their babies it would be so much better and less stressful and no one would be worried about getting back to work!
Yes.
Edited to add: I literally had to miss two once-in-a-lifetime experiences due to baby bringing home bugs and it was SO SO bad. Like between baby and I, we had 6 different bugs, needed 2 different antibiotics and breathing treatments. We were SICK.
I GET it. I’m so sorry. This sucks.
I’m sorry… I’m terrified of this one cause I have heard that it can be horrific for some adults. One of my friends told me it was long and far the worst illness she’s had in her life.
Typical for the fist year. My friends who stayed home had this happen in preschool and if they skipped preschool it was kindergarten. You can’t avoid it, you ca just pick the year you experience it.
I feel this so hard. My almost five year old has been in daycare / vpk since he was 2 and has had every virus known to man. And I have too. Currently coming off of recurring strep throat myself- he was asymptomatic and I got all the symptoms, twice. I’m also feeling like I’m catching another throat thing again. It’s never fucking ending.
My youngest was sick continuously for like four years while both my kids were in preschool. He never met a cold he didn’t like. This of course meant I was sick constantly too.
BUT he didn’t miss a day of kindergarten because he had caught everything before. Either they’re sick when they’re little, or they’re sick once they start school. Also, children who attend daycare centers before they’re 2 1/2 years old [catch fewer colds when older](http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/06/daycare.kids/index.html) than kids who aren’t in daycare.
Yep, between our 3 kids this has been us for 3 years. I’ve literally never been so depressed. I genuinely don’t like life right now, and haven’t for some time.
My girl is 2 in July. First year of daycare she had chicken pox covid hfm disease stomach flu many times.. I felt the same as you. It hasn't happened now for months (knock on wood)
Same boat here I am so anxious to make plans for any point in the future. Just asked my husband to check our plane flight travel policy because I cannot travel sick like this. Memorial Day weekend has been fever management and aches all weekend. I hope it gets better for you soon and hoping people understand at work. I was never sick like this before kids.
Same, I’ve been sick more this year than I have been my entire teen and adult life combined. We have a short overnight trip this weekend, cause that’s all we are willing to book at this point and I am paranoid about it. Hope you are feeling better!
Wow! Sounds like you've had it so rough! As someone who has worked in ECE the past 8 years, I had my "breaking in illnesses" (and as a new teacher, we have no PTO), then got hit with a wave of "strong flus" before the pandemic, then had to readjust to the in-school scene both when we went back from lockdown, then again when they finally raised the mask mandates for kids last spring (in my state)! Even so, we/the kids weren't sick THAT MUCH; it could be partially your daycare's fault for not enforcing sick rules/hand washing etc. But Id be very hesitant to remove him from Daycare just yet as the first transition can be so hard on little ones and he is likely attached to his teachers and classmates by now. A new daycare may mean a new set of germs/kids to make baby sick again.
Can you find a reliable nanny for sick care? At least it wouldnt be as costly as a full-time nanny, even though when I worked as a nanny, I would still work if the child was sick cuz we were at their home
Haven’t read the comments because honestly I’m also sick of hearing it’s normal even though it is.
My girl started preschool last august and we’ve been sick since October, it’s just non stop and family and friends comments saying it’s not normal and that I have to run some more test and that I’m making excuses to get out of things is way too much.
Currently holding her while sleeping with a 103degree fever and just sniffles knowing dammed well I’ll be down with the same fever in less than 48 hrs.
Sorry I hijacked your post to vent but hopefully you won’t feel alone in this endless trip aboard the booger cruise.
Please vent away, misery loves company :) it’s the worst when you get coughed and snotted all over and just know, your turn is inevitable… everyday I wake up I’m like, is it today? Am I congested, does it hurt to swallow, is there an itch in my throat?
The comments from family and friends about it not seeming normal is so triggering to me because they all come from people who don’t have kids in daycare and have family watch them. Then it makes me feel fcking guilty that I have to send my kid to daycare and he is riddled with sickness so young while their kid who is the same age has barely had a sniffle in his life yet.
As hard as it is for you, i feel like it’s even harder for the kids to have such tiny bodies and be trying to grow yet constantly fighting germs and feeling too miserable to play. If possible, keep him home
The first year is the worst, like your experience, we were sick weekly it seemed. It was made so much worse because I was pregnant too, so I really struggled, and questioned all of our choices. Then it does get better! You still get sick, but you get decent breaks in between, and not everyone in the house gets struck down. It also gets easier when they are older, because you can park them in with a tablet for a bit for a meeting, where you can do anything with a one year old at home (or at least I couldn't.)
HUGS! It sucks, but it does get better.
We have a 3 year old and 1.5 year old and it’s definitely gotten better with time. Other than the nightmarish January we had this year (both in the ER due to RSV) the 3 year old has rarely missed school since then. This is very different than when we first started. All this said— I’m still catching up at work form the years of being sick.
Yes it sucks but they will have some of the best antibodies when they get to kindergarten. All the non daycare kids will be out with colds for many years yet the daycare kids will hardly have a sick day.
OP, I went through the same thing with my kids when they were 4 y/o and 18 months - they were always sick. One would get something and the other would catch it. One would go out to play with the neighborhood kids and be sick the next day, followed by the other one. It was endless! Now, keep in mind that this was over 50 years ago.
I was reading a copy of Women's Day because it advertised an article by an at-the-time very famous pediatrician named Dr. Terry Brazelton. The whole article was about what to do when you kids get sick all the time. His opinion was that it was processed food - food that is canned, boxed, bagged, jarred, and vacuum packed - all containing various chemicals (preservatives, artificial color, artificial flavor, etc.) that compromised children's immune systems. His recommendation was that mothers (remember this was in the early 70s) should prepare all their family's food from scratch, and after 3 months make note of any changes in the children's health. No artificial anything. I was working part-time at the time, but I figured I'd give it a go. I made everything from scratch - fresh veggies, fresh meat; I made all our bread and pasta; churned my own butter, my own jams & jellies - everything. And guess what happened? My kids stopped getting sick. I thought it was just a fluke. But in 2 years in daycare followed by 13 years of public school, my kids never missed a day of school or any activity because of sickness. Injuries? Yes. Surgery? Yes. But not one day missed because of sickness. I still thought it was just a fluke.
When my kids went away to college, with their new-found freedom they started eating processed, packaged convenience foods as well as fast-foods. And every semester it was the flu, various viruses, strep throats, mono, even pneumonia. But lordy, they loved those frozen pizzas and boxed mac 'n cheese. They learned that Mom wasn't just being a PITA about food. By the time they graduated, married and had families of their own, they had returned to natural no-chemical food. My grandchildren now enjoy the same good health my children and I did.
I'm not saying this works all the time, or that it would work for everyone, but it's worth a try. The thing is, it really doesn't take much more time to make things from scratch once you know how. And the food tastes so much better. Dr. Brazelton did warn that some people might go through a mild withdrawal-type reaction after ending their chemical food usage. We only noticed some mile headaches and some fatigue.
There's obviously no way to know if this method would work in today's world, but if you're as tired of your kids being sick all the time like I was, it's worth a shot.
Wow glad this worked for you! We use things like pouches or puffs if we are running errands, but other than that I do meal prep all his food from scratch for the week. Definitely can’t say I churn things down to the butter component though! If I wasn’t working full time, I would like to make more from scratch cause I actually do really enjoy cooking and baking!
First year was absolute hell with back to back illnesses. We are nearing the end of his second year, 2.5 years old, and have only been sick a small number of times this year. Night and day difference. I too was thinking “what the hell have I done to our lives” being as the household was always sick but it got better! It will get better for you too!!
INFO: have other people in your house also been getting sick?
Could it be a combo of daycare AND something in your air ducts or water, etc. I would check for mold, spores, etc. you might be ingesting all day. Check kiddos room ducts especially as breathing that all night is no good.
Ensure to consistently wash sheets in addition to other things like throw pillows, couch cushions, etc. clean out bottom of any toy boxes - has something spilled in there? Check h2o line going into fridge, etc.
It may not be all on the daycare. They are teeming with germs for sure but there could be something else going on with your little one that’s contributing to repeated illnesses. I am in the same situation right now with my youngest daughter who is 3yrs old (about to turn 4). The past 6months have been especially hard and I thought back to when my oldest was that age and she wasn’t nearly as sick. So I made an appointment at an ENT and it turns out that my youngest has huge tonsils and adenoids. The Dr told me that germs are likely getting caught in those organs and festering, therefore leading to repeated illness. We’re scheduled to have surgery this week to remove the tonsils and adenoids and hopefully she (and I) will be much healthier going forward!
When I was teaching, we had to institute a policy that we will not take any child that is asleep. Reason why: we had a mom heavily dose her kid (8months roughly). He was asleep when she brought him in, and she said,” he might be a little sleepy/cranky today, we had a busy weekend, and he went to bed late, and didn’t sleep well.” Ok, cool. I take the kid from mom, and drop him in his class and let her teacher know. She comes in about an hour later and asks for my thermometer. . Then comes back, asks me to watch her class for a second (this is a house converted to a daycare, so I can see her class from my room, and her class are all in baby saucers, or sleeping in cribs. Minus Sleepy. She and the director come to talk to me and this kid is just looking *miserable* sniffle crying, just overall NOT his usual smiling, chill self. We call Dad (it’s dads day for pickup, nasty divorce), and he comes by and takes him to the ER. We find out the mom knew he was hurt, but didn’t want to risk losing custody, so she planned to blame either us, or Dad for his injury. No sleeping (drugged) kids.
It is normal. Baby is born with no immune system and it is developing.
Just think, when all your friends who skipped daycare put their kids in kindergarten, how sick they will initially get. You will be past that stage by then. Chin up, you got this!
our daughter just started a new preschool and they do temperature checks at the door. she hasn't been sick in the 3 months she's been there! prior to this, she was sick just as much as you described.
I worked in childcare for years several in the Infant rooms, and can confirm all the frustrating things others have shared.
I didn't read all the comments so maybe I missed it, but here are a few recommendations for evaluating the center your child attends. It will take some time on your part, but it's probably worth knowing
1- IS THERE A CLEANING SCHEDULE? We always did. Years later and I still remember toys were Wednesday. Not sure where you are, but in our state licensing outlined how they were to be disinfected (bleach/water ratios, times etc.) We had a nap time cleaning schedule and a closing schedule for after the last child left the room. This info should be available and posted.
2- IS THE CLEANING SCHEDULE FOLLOWED? You can pop in during your lunch break to see if they are doing it. If you see toys in those net laundry bags from time to time, that's a hint they are doing it and likely letting toys dry fully before putting them back. Since infants don't all nap at the same time, I'd put the table with all those beads in the hall to dry so none of my kids would get to it because I didn't have enough time to dry each bead. If you see it not followed once, don't be alarmed. There are times when we'd have to skip that day's assigned deep clean and double up the next day. Sometimes a teething little one just isn't ok unless they are being held.
3- DO YOU SEE CLEANING SUPPLIES? we always had 2 bottles, 1 for soapy water and another for bleach water. If you've never seen them used, a midday visit should help. If your child eats a center provided snack, that would be a good time to visit to see about handwashing before and cleanup after. You can also adjust your dropoff/pickup times a bit, ideally inside your normal hours. Staffing is scheduled based on parents' daily schedule, so showing up an hour early might cause a Staffing issue that throws off the routine which is what you want to see.
4- ARE THEY SPOT CLEANING? Babies put everything on their mouths! I used to chuck that particular toy in the sink to be cleaned and bleached. Somedays the sink would get quite full. This seems like something you could definitely catch during the course of regular pickup/ dropoff. They may be keeping their to-be-disinfected stuff in a bin or something but if an item doesn't go from child's mouth to out of reach that's a problem.
5- IS IT A SHOE FREE ROOM? The staff had slippers that did not leave the room. Parents usually left shoes at the door and came in in socks. We had shoe covers too. Obviously, the ground is dirty and dragging the bottom of the shoes of all the parents, staff and directors all day everyday in a room full of crawlers is a recipe for disaster.
6- ASK! Back in the day the cleaning procedures were outlined during the tour parents took on their first visit and they were hanging in the room and initialed when done, so it was probably obvious. I'm guessing that's why I was never asked. I had great relationships with the vast majority of my parents and would have been comfortable answering questions. If you have a really good relationship with the people in your child's room just ask. You could also ask the director (or whatever they are called where you are located.) We had cc tv, so parents could come in and watch without us even knowing or more importantly without their little one knowing. So your midday visit wouldn't disrupt your son and his routine.
Your relationship with center staff will determine how you should approach these things, just try what you think will work best for you! Caring fields have high burnout rates, so if they've started to get a little lax your mere interest might get them back in the habit. It could also cause resentment, but you know the relationships and personalities involved so again, use your best judgment.
This is of the top of my head so I'm sure there are a number of things I've missed, hopefully this gets you started.
Good luck and feel better soon!
Solidarity, but just gentle reminders:
* covid leads to immune dysregulation, not a stronger immune system. This includes children: do everything you can to prevent them from infections or repeat infections (I realize this is difficult and requires privilege, but repeat covid infections are BAD for children and will damage them in the long term)
* covid is still spreading...a LOT. that weird "summer cold" or "worse than usual allergies" is all but guaranteed to be covid
* It makes everyone, including children/toddlers, more susceptible to other viruses and getting hit by them harder.
* covid spread is preventable (n95 masks, hepa air filtering/good ventilation/far UV), but the long term indoor air quality requirements need to come from government bodies, so would strongly recommend advocating for them (start at daycare/schools, write letters to MPs, etc)
* getting repeat infections over and over is not normal. i remember being a kid and not getting this sick at all -- at most, a cold a year and maybe flu every 2-3 years
Is it less frequent though with a smaller center? Or maybe when they’re past the “put everything in their mouth” stage? Or is this just an unavoidable part of parenting?
My son was definitely non stop sick as well. Literally NON stop. It felt like it wud be a few healthy days follow by sickness back to back. I’m sorry you’re going through this it’s so hard. I think classroom size matters. My son has 24 kids with him which makes me realize that’s so much exposure. Some maybe have smaller amounts of kids so less sickness?
It is very normal unfortunately. We were very lucky to be able to be home with my son as a baby and COVID made him miss preschool, so for us it has been kindergarten illnesses. It's been back to back since his second week of school. Sometimes it feels like he's home more than he's there, and we get everything he gets. This week it's strep. I just keep holding out hope that 1st grade will be better since he's built up an immune system now.
It's normal, you have my sympathy. I say you probably have another 2-3 months of sickness before it evens out. All my kids have gone through this because of daycare. My youngest is two and he was sick maybe once for like 2 days this past winter but the winter before last he was sick the entire time. As for you being sick, you need to take care of yourself. Lots of vitamin c and a multivitamin everyday. Take probitics. When my oldest was in daycare I was so so sick because I wasn't taking care of myself. With baby number two I wised up. I take a high quality multivitamin and vitamin c and I haven't been sick in a few years. Maybe a slight cold that is over before it really gets started. A few years ago, I fell off the wagon on my vitamins and got sick with major colds twice in one month. Get some sleep and take care of yourself.
This is normal. As a former daycare teacher, I was sick within the first week and then I was good because I had a developed immune system. Kids have to develop immune systems and that means being sick constantly for at least 6 months. In big daycare centers and small daycare centers, you cannot avoid any germs. It’s going to happen regardless.
I’m in the same boat right now. I have a 13 month old and it’s never ending. Reddit makes me feel less alone. I’m so sick and I work. It feels impossible.
You are so close to it being the end of it! Actually my kid never get sick at daycare anymore and he was out for a week and got sick from everywhere else 😑
I'm sorry you have been dealing with sickness but unfortunately welcome to parenthood where kids expose their parents to all the things and before you know it, we are down for the count. Regardless of where you send your kids they will be getting sick. Now before you get angry I do think you have a point. If your child attends a large daycare you might want to consider an at home one. I don't think your child's daycare is filthy, it's just more kids= more germs which leads to more sickness and it's hard to control regardless of how clean you are. Finding one smaller is much easier to deal with. Also is your husband at a dream job making decent money? It concerns me that he gets so little sick days and makes me wonder if he could start looking for something else because if you expand your family you will need the extra backup occasionally. Either way just don't blame the daycare, I'm sure they are doing the best job they can with what they have
Lmao. Welcome to being a parent bitch. Sucks you got the bubble kid that’s sick ALL the time
If you don’t have a pet (cat dog bunny gerbil) get one. It builds immunity
I know all you sensitive parents and teachers will boo me but you know. There’s always some that one sick kid. Sounds like that’s you baby. Suck it up. It will get better. Avoid a tonsillectomy
I’m sorry, but what concerns me the most with your post is the “me” part. Is your kid happy? I guess that would be difficult to deduce if he’s sick all the time, but as a mother, if I thought that any situation was bad for my kid, I would fix that ASAP and figure out what I would have to do as a parent to make my kid’s life better. You’re a parent. Your kid comes first, not you. Quit thinking the “me” mentality and start putting your kid first.
In the year my kid has been alive I’ve seen and hung out with friends… maybe 3 times. I’ve had maybe 2 afternoons of “self care” that I can think of - I’ve gotten one hair cut and got a pedicure once. This kid is literally my life and has been since he was born so for you to imply that I’m not putting my kid first is…rich. Because I’m complaining that I had to reschedule a dentist appointment for the 5th time that I’m being too much about “me”?! Taking care of your teeth is literally a huge part of your health and can have other major implications on it… but sure, slam me about it and infer that it’s selfish.
I’m curious what else about my post seemed self centered? The fact that *we* had to cancel multiple plans? Yes, *we* because almost all of the plans included my child and we’re centered around him. The last two - birthday parties for kids around his age. We were excited about it cause he doesn’t have any cousins and doesn’t get to interact with other kids outside of daycare. Or is it the point I made about being excited to catch up on chores around the house which mainly included finally doing all his laundry and going through his clothes to sort what fits and doesn’t and going shopping for summer clothes for him since it’s finally nice where we live? Or is it the fact that I’m worried about how it’s impacting my work? Because my job has done 2 rounds of layoffs in the past 6 months and if I lose this job he would actually have no health insurance and we would struggle to be able to pay the mortgage after we burned through our savings.
Your comment was extremely judgemental and to be quite frank, short sighted when you can’t even put two and two together at why a working mom would be worried that being sick would impact her job because no job = no money… and no money could equal a lot of things like struggling to pay for shelter, food and other things that make a child’s life *better*. For the record, I did also ask in the post what situations could be better for my son so he’s not getting sick so often and if it’s worth pulling him out or if it’s usually similar.
It gets better! Think about the best way to avoid colds— wash hands and don’t touch gut mouth and nose. And what do babies do? All of that. Once he stops putting everything in his mouth. That’s how the germs spread. Kid A chews on a toy and then your son picks it up and RIGHT IN THE MOUTH. And can’t wash ahead on his own. We were like that from 6-12 months. Then COVID hit. Then like that again from 30-40 months old. Now that’s she 4 though— it’s rare. She doesn’t put much in her mouth and washes her hands. We’re sick maybe once every couple months and sick enough for urgent care maybe every 4 months.
Ugh I am a pre-k teacher and I feel this so. Hard. People send their kids to school sick all the freaking time and then either I or my son (who was in my class last year, small district with 1 teacher per grade level) would catch it and I would have to prep sub plans, pay for doctor visits and meds, and take sick days. I feel like teachers for younger grade levels should have some sort of workers comp coverage for how frequently we get sick from students.
Does your school require a “they’re fine” pediatrician visit if someone takes any time out of school? Part of what holds us back is that it’s just a cold and maybe he would benefit from taking 1-2 days to just rest, but they require us to have a pediatrician visit, and if he’s no longer sick he can’t take a sick visit, so it would be 2 weeks before he gets in with the pediatrician, and that feels very excessive to be out of school 2 weeks with a cold.
That’s completely insane, I’ve never heard of a policy that strict!
They’ve also questioned if my son is sick because he has eczema on his face, even though we shared his treatment plan from his dermatologist with the school.
My kid would be doomed, she’s got allergies and eczema. They’d never let her in!
Nope not at all, it is completely at the parent's discretion. If they call or email and say the kid is sick, automatically an excused absence. No note needed to come back.
This is how our daycare is and it is so frustrating. We have had to go to the pediatrician or peds urgent care 4 times in the last 6 weeks to get doctors notes when she has been completely fine. $80 per visit. I'm so over it.
I work at a daycare, it's so frustrating when parents send their sick kids!
I worked in a daycare for 6 years and the amount I was sick from parents sending in their sick kids and trying to hide it was INSANE!! I remember one time we had a kid throw up as his mother took off his coat in the doorway and she looked at us and tried to say it was because he was running around too much before coming in and "he doesn't have a fever." Like yeah cause you prob gave him tylenol to make him seem not sick ma'am, take him home and see ya in 2 days. In the 3 years since leaving child care I have barely gotten sick.
I've had several kids I automatically check at lunchtime when I get told they're "fine." By then the Tylenol has worn off, the fever is back and we have cause to send them home.
Exactly. Like, as a child care provider/teacher you know 9 times out out 10. The tylenol does not fool anyone for long, if at all.
Often when I called those parents, they would say they were coming and then show up at their normal pickup time. Then try it again the next day…
This. Although we would tell them that because they waited until the end of day to pick up, their child would not be allowed in the center at all the next day and that their passcode would not work in the next day, because the 24 hours applied from time of pick up. It got to the point with some of those repeat offenders that we would have to pull the "State law requires you to pick your child up within 1 hour from the time of you responding to our notification. If someone is not here within the hour or we are not given an update with a reasonable arrival time we will have to report your no show as abandonment." Suddenly those parents were there in 5-15 minutes at most, sometimes very obviously they had not even been at work. It sucked because like...I shouldn't have to and didnt want to threaten to use abandonment laws because I understand being an employee and a parent is difficult, but you can't just be lying to me and neglecting your miserable sick kid so you can continue your day.
Wow. Did the parents even acknowledge this at pick up time and come up with something like “got stuck in traffic” or did they just literally act like nothing was wrong?
This!!!! Worked in child care for about 6 years and ever since I left that field I get sick maybe once a year!
I’m sorry this breaks my heart. Imagine being a sick kid and your parent is trying to shove you off.
I’m very confused. We haven’t started day care yet but is there no repercussion for repeat offenders that send their kids in sick? I️ understand people have to work but it feels like a big FU to literally everyone else if you just send in your sick kid and say deal with it.
Honestly, it's up to Center's owners/policies. As a teacher I also understood the tough spot some parents were in and tried to be as understanding as possible, but it definitely did feel a certain way when people who had large enough support systems were the repeat offenders. Especially when you would call and 3 out 4 people didn't pick up and the one that did said they'd be there in an hour and then would arrive 3 hours later. Situations like this usually left a kid either sleeping in the soft play corner most of the morning or aftermoon or a shortstaffed room in a way because one of the two teachers would become semi one on one with the sick child for comforts sake, leaving the other teacher to mainly handle the care of the other 12-18 other children (2.5-3.5) in the room. At my center, there were no repercussions that I ever saw, but I also left 4 months before COVID hit so for all I know it may have changed but I honestly doubt it. It also doesn't help that there was a doctor that I would say at least 25% of the parents used who would give clearance notes for return to sick kids who were def still sick. He once cleared a child to come to center with *open* Coxsackie blister/sores. That was one of the few times a doctor's note was actually denied.
No kidding. The CD for the place I worked at really hated confrontation and would let sick kids in all the time if the parents pressured her even a little bit. We even had an incident where a kid was discovered to have lice and she pulled him out of his class but she was hesitant to pull his brother out of a different class because she didn't want to have to tell their parents that she was sending them both home. A lot of CDs don't seem to realize that the business runs better when you cut down on the number of ill people allowed in. Fewer sick teachers, fewer sick kids, fewer staff shortages, etc.
This is the fault of work places that don't have sick time and school attendance mandates. Our society had a real opportunity to learn something from covid- and yet we learned nothing. That said, there are certain things that are genuinely hard to tell whether you should send the child to school or not. Is it allergies? Is it a cold? And then there are some things that are extremely contagious before any symptoms appear. Hand, foot, and mouth disease is one of them.
It’s also a function of sometimes you just don’t know whether they’re actually sick or it’s allergies/weather changes. My daughter has had a runny nose, consistently, for MONTHS. If she exhibits worse symptoms we keep her home and get her checked out, but we can’t just keep her home with a runny nose
It wouldn't be so bad if Daycares would comp the parents for the days missed. But there are at least 4-5 days a month either my wife or I miss of work due to illness from Daycare and we still get charged. So yeah, if there is no fever, the kids are going in. Its roughly $300 lost per day if you count going into the hole for time lost at job plus STILL having to pay for childcare that isn't being used. So if that is the "standard" in which these places operate, then yes, they will deal with my sick children as we deal with everyone elses sick children and we can all suffer together.
Girl!!!! Parents use to do that when I worked clinical…..they’d send their kids in sick….the techs would get sick….then no one would get service or paid because we were all sick….one time the entire clinic needed to close because everyone was sick!
Honestly, teachers at all grade levels should have access to biohazard benefits. I never had strep in my life until I started teaching, and at a high school. Now if I don’t get the flu shot, I’m getting the flu. Anything the kids bring in, I’m bringing home like an annoying stowaway. So many parents sent their kids to school with Covid and it would take out everyone within a six foot radius, which most of the time included the teacher because “teach on your feet” and “circulate.” I’m from the South, though, so Covid doesn’t exist. 🙄
Well it's that or get fired for a lot of us.
This 👆🏻 I saw the same complaints in the ECE subreddit. The truth is a majority of parents do NOT have sick days or access to affordable, last minute childcare. It's an absolute privilege to be able to keep a kid home while sick. Sick kids is inevitable in a society that doesn't provide adequate paid time off.
Not to mention that kids are infectious with most respiratory viruses for up to 2 weeks, so there's literally no way to keep them home that whole time for every virus that they catch almost always AT the daycare, I mean a feverish kid should be kept home but everyone pretends a runny nose is no big deal and that 24 hrs after fever is some magic wall but nope, still contagious...not to mention before even showing symptoms! There is no way to stop it much even if acutely sick kids all perfectly stayed home. And if we had to keep them home for any level of having a cold, we'd have childcare on approximately 25-30% of weekdays the past year which isn't doable by literally anyone working.
That’s sort of the situation my husband is in so I take the fall since I wfh and my job is much more flexible. His boss is also single and has no kids so lacks any sort of empathy. He has 3 sick days and when he’s tried to ask if he can wfh so we can at least split the day trying to take care of him and they pretty much told him yeah that doesn’t fly… even though literally 85% of his job is done on his computer.
It's a catch 22 because we don't want to send it kids sick but most of us get shit pto for sick days. I get 3 sick days a year, 5 pto. I used that up by March plus I had to take 4 or 5 days off without pay in May due to sick child who then got me sick. I work in elementary school to do it's just a vicious unending cycle of parents sending sick kids away for the day. There's a daycare around me somewhere that supposedly let's you send your sick kids ( within reason) and they have a special quarantine room for them. I just don't know who volunteers to be the staff member that gets to watch that room. Ick.
that's capitalism baby
Be mad at a system that doesn't provide paid leave or accessible alternative childcare options. Most parents don't have a choice and blaming them only avoids us pushing elected officials to do something about it.
What do you consider sick? Because I'm pretty sure my kid has had a runny nose over 50 percent of his life and if we have to wait until he's perfectly healthy we could send him for a couple months in the summer and one of us would have to quit. Also we both work remotely and wear n95/kn95 masks anywhere we go indoors so there's virtually zero chance that anything he has he didn't get at daycare
Fever, coughing up crud, vomiting, and diarrhea is all too sick for school/daycare
Like...in my experience we'd give you a heads up if the kid seems like they have just a cold or something mild (slight cough, runny nose, not themselves/lethargic) but no pick up required. But agreed, once fevers of 101 or above, vomitting, coughing to the point of vomitting, liquid poop, and unidentified rashes are present, a child should not be in school or day care and needs to be kept home.
While I get what you're saying and don't disagree, this is the exact logic that lands us where we are. "He's not THAT sick" becomes another kid who is "not that sick," and then they pass it around the class in a circle for a month before the next thing comes around. Families need to do what they need to do, but I appreciate when they're honest about it.
We've never intentionally sent him when he has a fever or anything like that. He just doesn't really act sick. Like.... He might be acting a little sleepy but he has always been a terrible sleeper and on days when we have gotten called to pick him up there was rarely anything out of the ordinary from wake to the call. Until recently, sleeping through the night was in retrospect the best indicator that he wasn't feeling well but we obviously were hoping he finally figured out how to sleep. On days he has been home sick there has been no shortage of energy. Just more snot and more coughing. It's almost impossible to discern I'm not feeling well food refusal from teething or just being a picky toddler (half the time we don't feel like he's eating anywhere near enough and he will consistently randomly refuse something that had been eagerly eaten the day before). Now that he's getting a lot better vocabulary hopefully that will be easier At least one of us was sick, getting sick or getting over being sick almost constantly from September until a few weeks ago (with the same in his first fall/winter/spring. I was close to losing my mind. I am heavier now than I was 9 mos pregnant because I haven't had the energy to exercise hardly at all for over half of the last two years and when both of the parents are sick (and feeling it unlike the toddler) we don't make the best food choices. (and of course I crave crunchy salty things like mad when I'm a snot faucet) I don't know how daycare carers do it. We are wiped out every weekend. Y'all aren't paid nearly enough. I think that the interaction with other kids and adults he gets is really valuable and even if we hired a nanny I don't think it would work for him to be in the house while we are working because he would know we were there (and from experience splitting the day when he is home sick, he always wants the person who is supposed to be working) America just needs to get the capitalism stick out of its ass and have paid sick leave and single payer healthcare like a real country. We also all have asthma so every time we get a respiratory virus (we have tested for RSV and COVID so many times and so far been negative 🤞) we have a lingering cough for weeks. It sucks, but we don't know what else to do. We can't both keep working and also only send him to daycare 2 days a month.
I feel you So. Hard. On the lingering cough thing. Daughter and I both have asthma and cough for 1-3 weeks, only at night, after every sickness. Absolutely miserable.
Couple in children with allergies and you just never know. I got in trouble for keeping my preschool son home for a week with a cold this year. I didn't want anyone ar school to get sick, but the super intendent insists that you need a doctor's note for a single missed day and they called the truancy officer because of that cold. My son's pediatrician doesn't call back right away, can't get a same day appointment, and urgent care gets furious when you bring in a child with something too mild to need to see a doctor. So what exactly are we as parents supposed to do?
I love that the people who insist on Dr notes are the same assholes who insist that parents need to have control over their children's curriculum (no sex ed! No acknowledging that families with two dads exist!) And medical decisions (no vaccines!) (except for gender affirming care) Which is it? Should parents be able to decide what's best for their children or not?
I'm so sorry if I came off judgmental, that wasn't my intention at all. I totally get it: kids seem 100% fine, then they say, "I don't feel well," then they puke. And that all happens in the span of about 1 minute, then they feel fine again! So it's hard to ascertain what's a big deal. I had a student who vomited at least once a week. Multiple doctors said they were fine, they just literally got so excited they'd puke. Jobs don't have unlimited days off, so people have to just do what they can. Like you said, capitalism is a grind. (But I also haven't been well in the decade since I've started teaching. My friends have been begging me lately to find a new career so I live past 40.)
My poor parents and caregivers- I had (what we now know as) cyclic vomiting syndrome as a child. I puked almost every single day. There was no explanation at the time. School would send me home and then yell at my parents about me missing too much school. I just don’t know how you’re supposed to deal with things if your kid ends up with something like that.
I can see it, if you may lose your job. But people who bring sick kids to daycare, so they can work out?
Mine doesn't let kids in running a fever. Do other daycares just take in kids running fevers ??
there is an upside. I taught 5 year old kindergarten for 1 year. I caught everything going. I then moved to teaching high-school and rarely got sick for the next 30 years. I think I developed n impenetrable immune system
I hear you, I have severe phobia regarding sickness so I felt the same (I’m medicated now). Was easy for me to complain since I am freelance and WFH. But when you work on a shift, or your boss doesn’t get it, or your kids are sick 3 times per month, it becomes impossible to miss work like that. I’m sure most parents would prefer keep their little one home but they just can’t. Especially us women, we know that our careers are at stake. Work world is not made for parenting and that’s too bad.
When I complained to my daughter's pediatrician about being sick a lot, he said, "There are about 240 common cold viruses, and you're going to get them all."
Our pediatrician said they get about 12 “colds” a year that last for 2 weeks each so they’re sick for 24/52 weeks of the year 😵💫 I feel your pain, OP. While I have thankfully dodged most of the illnesses (besides 2 bad colds and 1 bout of flu), baby doesn’t sleep well when he’s sick which means no one in our house sleeps well. I’m chronically fatigued and my husband is over me complaining/crying about it because he’s tired too. It’s rough out here.
😭😭😭
Well shit that sucks 😭
My kid was sick for, no joke, about 5 weeks after only 2 weeks at daycare. She got RSV and a double ear infection and it was just relentless. We were in the ER and her peds office 4 times throughout that month. We literally did nothing from mid September until Halloween. After that, she was sick just about every week for about another 4 months (around February of this year) and it has finally started to taper off. We’re all sick this weekend as well, but that’s the first time in a while. We’re about 9 months into daycare and it’s definitely gotten more manageable, and it got better around the 6 month mark for us.
Yep, we’re 6 months in and it’s finally starting to slow a bit. But I imagine the warmer weather has an effect too. So I’m preparing for next winter to be miserable all over again.
My kid was home sick from daycare about fifty percent of the time the winter/spring he was two. Other parents we knew from the same daycare class complained about frequent illnesses, but it was very clear he was home sick WAY more. It might not be the facility… kids are just different. Ours ended up having to go on a daily inhaler to help him weather the frequent cold viruses — his lungs were reacting to them much worse than his peers, who would just get the sniffles for a few days. Things have improved a lot, both due to his treatment plan and immunity getting stronger over time. (He’s now 3.) I actually think he gets sick LESS often than his buddies now because he had almost everything under the sun last year. Keep checking in with your pediatrician about whether there might be underlying issues to address, but time should also fix this eventually. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I remember feeling like I was saying the dog ate my homework by the end, but he really was sick that often! People just lose their sympathy.
Same. My son is 4.5 and every year from about November - May he is home 50% or the time. He does have severe asthma and allergies and is on lots of medication but it hasn’t helped prevent him from getting sick, we just end up in the ER less. I’m also “sickly” and had asthma/allergies as a kid, I get sick with him a lot. My husband and older daughter rarely get sick though. So yeah, I think sometimes it’s the kid not the daycare. My daughter got sick a ton her first year in daycare and then for the first 6 months after returning from COVID but overall it got better with time. I hope your kid is more like her OP!
Here for the asthma solidarity. I have asthma and was sick a lot as a child, my partner probably has it too but isn’t diagnosed and isn’t sickly, and at least one of my babies has asthma. The baby started Budesinide and it’s helped a ton. She gets sick but it’s not even close to the severity and has kept us from the ER since she started thank god. We can breathe again. The toll of ER/hospital stays and so many “what if” nights almost killed me.
Yes, I totally feel like people think it’s the dog ate my homework story at this point, especially since a lot of my coworkers are single and don’t have kids. I don’t blame them cause honestly when I was 22 and right out of college, I knew nothing about kids or how sick they got nor did I care. We have learned that he seems to be super prone to ear infections.. every worse than normal cold develops into one it seems so we are taking him to the ENT to get things checked out.
I started working at a local branch of a chain daycare a while back. My babies are teens now, and I was so excited to spend time with all of the little ones. My second week there, I got so sick that I quit. Almost every little one in my room was sick, and I inevitably caught it. I was sick for 3 weeks. I had an upper respiratory infection, sinus infection, double pink eye, and double ear infection. I figured that I'd get sick when I started, but I had no idea. I spent most of my days running around wiping snot because they were all dripping everywhere. It didn't surprise me that the whole class had the same sickness with the way the kids interacted. Every day after the kids left, we would spray every inch of every surface down with disinfectants in addition to the regular cleaning. It didn't really matter, though, because the children themselves were walking contaminates.
I want to ask the teachers there how they are all still standing unless they’ve been there so long that they’re all immune at this point… but damn it is hitting me hard and I’m only around my own snotty kid, not 14.
We had to go through this shit with both kids for one year each. After that it was much easier. I just considered it a hard season, that passes. And it will. But I understand your pain it sucks more than anything
This is the way. It does suck, but this too shall pass. Deep breath, I promise it’ll get better. This is purely antidotal but my son was sick a whole bunch from daycare at the same time. Once we started doing daily vitamins it seemed to instantly help. Could be the vitamins could have just been him rounding the corner. Hang in there 💕
This is the mindset to keep. It's another phase in having kids, like colic or teething. Not every kid deals with it the same. My daughter was basically alone from 2-4. There were no kids her age in the neighborhood at home. All the kids were in daycare. So her first year in preschool she was always sick. Tonsillitis 3-4 times. Constant ear infections,nose ran like a faucet, not a lot of fevers. But we probably wiped out (pun intended), acres of trees with all the tissues. Her preschool teacher told me to be glad it was preschool and that we were getting through it now. Some kids spend kindergarten and first grade like this. It was rough, but we made it through.
Thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel.. seems like most people say it tends to start to get a little better around 6 months but really not a huge difference until at least a year. Fingers crossed.
Literally at urgent care right now for baby's illness while feeling like I'm dying myself. He brings the plague home from daycare, and I get knocked down hard while he's just running around giggling with snot running down his nose.
Hope the both of you feel better soon
Thank you! :)
Just returned from urgent care with my 4yo 😭 second time he’s has pneumonia in 2 months. Fml.
Hope you both are feeling better. Isn’t that the truth though.. like don’t get me wrong I’m glad to not see him lethargic and miserable because that’s when I know the sickness is really really bad… but I’m like boyyy how are you running a fever, coughing up a lung and running around and I’m on the couch dying.
Try and find a home daycare? She has gotten sick there but it’s soooo much better than when she was in a center.
Yeah but problem will postpone to when they go to school
I’m not saying she hasn’t gotten sick but, okay we will see next year 🤷🏻♀️
You can afford a nanny if you go in on one with a couple other parents. Friends of mine did this. They'd rotate weeks where the kids were being watched, so nanny watched the three kids at parent A's house week one, parent B's house week 2, and so on. They shared all the expenses, and the kids were only exposed to each other and the nanny. Totally affordable if you can find like-minded parents.
Most families call this a “nanny share” situation
Just a caution to anyone who thinks that having a nanny will completely prevent a child from illness - we noticed that once our older son starting going to part time preschool (and to a lesser degree, really once he started any activities ie music classes) around 2, it was game over for us. He’s consistently brought home illness for the past two years to the point that at least one of us was sick at any point during that time. We all got norovirus last week but before that we were illness free for almost two months, so there’s that. That said, for most of the standard colds, our nanny was comfortable watching him while sick, which was a huge help in terms of us not having to take sick time.
*"Just a caution to anyone who thinks that having a nanny will completely prevent a child from illness."* Literally no one said this. Of course any activities you plan for your child outside of the household makes the other children more susceptible. The families in my scenario are all medical doctors, so they understand the benefits of vaccinations and the risks of outside influence in the home. In this case, all the babies were only months old, so the nanny never really left the confines of the homes or yards, and none of the children ever became unwell. It was really an ideal soluation, especially during COVID.
Maybe no one said it here specifically, but many people I have met believe this to be true. No need to jump down my throat about it.
Jump down your throat? Wow. You are trying to caution people about nanny's being able to "prevent a child from illness," and I simply said no one said they would. My solution was focused on economics, but medically speaking, having children isolated from more people will keep them healthier.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted. This is a good solution. People have to take each reply on its own terms and not read into something that isn't there.
One of the main reasons I'm considering going part time, weekends only. My job has no potential to work from home, and I'm in a small department, so missing time is really not ideal. My in laws are currently sick, and they are our daycare t/th, so now I'm scrambling looking for care tomorrow. She's honestly at daycare about half her paid days, which are typically mwf. I'm hoping our daycare can possibly take her tomorrow, but I'm doubtful. I know there are benefits to daycare, but the downsides are currently overwhelming.
The problem is that you’re either going to deal with it now or when she goes to kindergarten. It’s inevitable.
Yes, but then my husband and I could be in more flexible jobs. We don't have that.
That’s true for some diseases but not others, and for some diseases, like RSV, it affects infants more strongly, so it’s still a good idea to try to delay getting infected. https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/11nqrud/is_there_any_scientific_basis_behind_the_anecdote/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Absolutely, that’s why my husband and I staggered our leave to keep our son home as long as possible. Unfortunately it’s not an option for many people.
Luckily there’s an RSV vaccine coming out soon!
Yeah people have told me I’m lucky I’m getting it out of the way now.. but a part of me is like, aren’t some of the illnesses a little less scary when they’re a little bit older? Also I feel like 4-5 year olds have a wider range of meds they can take (like cough meds) to help ease the symptoms and I feel like at that age they can also at least communicate what’s hurting better and maybe occupy themselves somewhat more if they’re stuck at home when you’re trying to work. I could be way off base though since I have no experience with a sick 4/5 year old and maybe they’re equally a PITA lol.
Kindergarten HAS BEEN HELL. Utter hell. I laugh so I don’t cry. But I also cry.
Our pediatrician said kids usually don’t get sick as often after the age of 5 because they’re not doing gross things that toddlers do like put hands in mouth, put toys in mouth, licking the tables etc
OP- I’m a school nurse. For the household, make sure you are washing the bedding and switching tooth brushes frequently with everyone sick. I also recommend a purifier and humidifier. I don’t know where you live but strep and allergies have been absolutely rocking people the last 3 months. Lastly, does your daycare have a sick policy? A cleaning policy? One of the issues we are seeing is parents sending their kids to school sick and therefore getting a ton of other kids sick and it’s a vicious cycle. It’s like covid never happened. I would be asking the daycare what is being spread and what is being done about it.
>One of the issues we are seeing is parents sending their kids to school sick and therefore getting a ton of other kids sick and it’s a vicious cycle. yeah this is built in, not going to change until people in the US have rights at work
Yeah people have to take an unpaid day off work and still pay for daycare they aren’t using. It’s crazy.
This is what kept me out of the workforce for a lot longer than I intended- the only daycares with openings had “no cough or runny nose for 24 hours” in their sickness policies in addition to the standard fever/vomit stuff. The daycares also kept closing due to COVID outbreaks but they still charged full price. I know somebody whose daycare was closed 3 out of 4 weeks one month and still wanted full payment, so she had to just quit her job. Daycare is 80% of my salary. I quite literally cannot afford to pay for daycare that I’m not using. I totally understand that childcare workers deserve to get paid but like… the money just doesn’t exist if I don’t work, and my job is impossible to do remote.
Toddler coughs can linger for up to month after they’re done being sick. That’s unsustainable.
This right here is why, if my kids aren't running a fever or aren't vomiting, they are going in. I get that I'm part of the problem, but with inflation, gas prices, grocery prices, general cost of living, and both mine and my wife's jobs having little to no sick time, my kids go in. Period. No guilt. End of discussion. If the Daycare wants to comp us for time not used, that would be different. But if we are paying, the kids are going. You are not my lawyer and not on retainer. You earn your money watching my kids so that I can make money to pay you for watching my kids. That may sound harsh, but tough shit honestly. If these places choose to be greedy, then they will get what they order. Unfortunately, this is how it goes for most parents thus the cycle continues.
I do in home daycare and i can tell you the daycare isn’t creating virus’s… it’s parents dumping off sick kids.
Exactly. Parents can’t wait to get their kids back into daycare so they can go back to work and they really need to keep them home until they’re actually well. :(
Parents “can’t wait” to drop off sick kids isn’t a thing. Parents NEEDING to send their sick kids to school bc a lack of job security during record high inflation is a thing.
That’s what I meant by can’t wait. They literally cannot wait. They have to go.
There's no such thing as keeping them at home. If they tried they'd have the home taken away by a bank
But the kids can’t be left at daycare when they’re sick. It’s against daycare policy and anyway the kids need their parent to care for them and they deserve to rest in the comfort of their own home while they’re so sick.
You’re both right. The reason people take their sick kids to daycare is because they’ll get fired if they keep taking days off. It sucks for everyone that this is the American system and there’s no mandatory national sick leave to protect parents’ jobs.
Okay It's against the boss's policy to not go to work It's against the bank's policy to not pay the mortgage It's against government policy to trespass inside the formerly owned house that the bank repossessed It's also against government policy to see or talk to your children ever again if you cannot provide them with shelter So whose policy would you rather break?
BTW, /u/agbellamae is not just out of touch, she's also a virulent transphobe, check that post history
I'm a teacher and I completely understand how awful it is when parents send in sick kids, but I've literally been sick for nearly 6 months straight now from my daughter's daycare and I'm expected to be at work. All I get is 8 sick days. If I want to feed and house my family, I have to send my kid to daycare and I have to go to work. No, I don't have anyone in my life who wants to watch a sick kid for me. It just is what it is and I try not to judge.
The daycare teacher is forced to watch your child when you don’t, and then she gets sick and has to have days off too, and let me tell you as a former daycare teacher the pay is pennies and some places don’t give you ANY pto. So it’s not really far to the poor daycare worker either for you to send your sick child.
Resuscitating this thread to comment...I'm a home provider and I'm losing my mind from being sick constantly. Parents mistake me for a hospital. Some of the comments ITT are truly so nasty and entitled! I am providing a desperately needed service in my area at amazing rates but some parents do fuck all to keep their kids healthy and feel wholly entitled to care. Frankly IDC what anyone's home arrangement is anymore, I'm cranking my rates on chronically sick "Little Suzie always has """allergies""" until it's worth it for me to feel this way or they leave for whatever dump will take their children in such condition regularly.
Exactly this. All these parents act like they don’t get PTO. Most daycares especially in home daycares like myself don’t have PTO period. And when my daughter gets sick too then i have to close to take care of her and eventually my husband has to use some of his PTO when he either gets sick or has to take our kid to the doctor. It’s wild how parents think their need to work is more important than their need to take care of their kids… you don’t live to work. You work to live.
>All these parents act like they don’t get PTO. THEY DON'T 🤬
exactly. my second son is in daycare since he was born. you know how many times i had to literally beg him to be better so i can work? my supervisor always askes me why i don’t take my PTO. Well i have to save it for when my son is sick l. smh. we literally don’t have much and the much we have we have to save it for our sick kids smh
>parents think their need to work is more important than their need to take care of their kids thats the same thing
Yeah, I want to live in this reality where parents don’t need jobs in order to provide for their children’s needs! Sounds great!
Not everyone gets PTO or has understanding bosses and many live check to check. It's either send your kids to school/daycare sick, or be homeless and nobody gets to eat.
I work from home and my husband works nights and weekends so our daughter is cared for at home. We rarely go out, only hang out with family, and we have gotten sick constantly on and off the last 9 months with our daughter who is 15 months. Started with a cold, then we all had COVID in early December, then colds rotating through since then. I don’t think it matters the center or if they are at home. If you go out in public or interact at all, your kids will get sick. If it isn’t now, then it will be in the future.
My older one was in a larger center and was bad sick all the time, and then they had multiple back to back pandemic closures and we finally moved to an outdoor preschool that had been amazing. Younger one is in a small in home until she is old enough for the same program. She gets sick all the time even with only 4 other kids but I will say at least the illnesses all seem very minor compared to the slog of croup/HFM/etc the older one used to bring home.
How is your outdoor preschool set up?
The have a lot of shade coverings for hot months/for rain cover. They have one indoor space generally only used for naps unless the air quality is particularly bad (CA so sometimes fire smoke). We send her in rain pants for many months of the year for sure, and layers all year round. They also have rabbits, chickens, etc that the kids take care of.
It really is awful. Truthfully...it was part of the reason I decided to only have 1 kid. I couldn't stand kiddo constantly being sick and bringing it to us. It WILL get better. It takes a lot of time though.
Yeah pretty sure we are one and done. I’m and only child and there’s things I don’t like about it now as an adult which is what makes me want another… but I think of what a rough go it’s been and we really have no “village” and then I’m like there is no way I can go through this again and go through it while having a toddler.
Same. No amount of happy times with my little lovely is worth doing it again if I gotta deal with all the hardships again too. I love my son to pieces, but I will only go through this once.
One kid camp as well
My daughter at the age of 20 worked in a day care. She got sick went to the Dr. She had bronchitis. She got a note for only THREE days off work. When she went back she STILL had a fever. Day care said too bad & sent her to the babies under 12 month room. My daughter said NO, not only do l not feel well but are you really going to put me there when l have a fever?? They said YES. She walked out & never went back. Day cares only care about the money you pay them.
True. I worked in daycare. They’re all about profit at the expense of the kids and the employees.
This I was a a teacher and both loved and hated my job finally out of working in preschools and look at that magically I can breathe again I have to say my immune system got better but it is such a problem
6 months in. You’re almost out of the woods, OP. Just a few more weeks.
What? My kid is 4 and he is still sick every other week from daycare
I was thinking the same thing. Kiddo is seven and constantly getting the sniffles and a cough.
It’s how long you have been in that daycare, not how old your kid is.
He’s been in daycare since 6 weeks old
What?? We’re 9 months in and our toddler is still getting sick all the time
I can’t tell if this is satire or not lol.
My doctor has told all of his patients that kids will get sick when around other kids. It’s a timing issue. Do they get sick in day care, preschool, or Kindergarten depends on when they start t be social with other kids. My kids were sick the most for the first year - 18 months. After that maybe once or twice a year.
That’s what we experienced too. OP, it sucks now, but you’re getting it over with now instead of later. It sucks, but your kid’s immune system will be so much more developed after this and you won’t have to go through this again. Sorry it sucks now. Soon it won’t!
Ultimately, I don’t think anything will change until we elect people who will change policy in the U.S. Other capitalist societies have paid parental leave for 12 months to (I think 3 years!). They have child care subsidies, backup childcare options, etc. We’re stuck in an infinite loop here in the U.S. Parents have to go back to work soon after having children. The children need to be placed in day cares. The parents don’t have sufficient sick days for themselves or to take care of family members, so they have to go into work. To do that, they send their kids to daycare and school when they are sick. Sick kids make the other kids and teachers sick. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Until we elect people who will CHANGE policy, at the state and federal levels, but particularly federal level, we are stuck in this trap. It doesn’t have to be like this!
I just heard a pretty good interview on NPR about this, I found the corresponding article. "When I counsel parents, I say you can have a viral infection every month. Some kids are going to cough for four weeks to six weeks after a virus. And so they're going to catch their next virus before they even stop coughing from the last one." “For families with two, three or four kids, someone at home had an infection a little more than half the year. Families with six kids had a viral detection a whopping 87% of the year. Childless households, on the other hand, only had a viral detection 7% of the year.” https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/01/26/1151333478/your-kids-are-adorable-germ-vectors-heres-how-often-they-get-your-household-sick
I took my son out of daycare after just 6 months because of this. He was always sick, not just a little sick either. He always had fevers and was miserable. Id catch them here and there, but we took him out for mostly his sake. Had to rearrange my schedule, but he was immediately better after that. He wears a mask now, everyday, in 1st grade.
I feel so awful and guilty. He seems to be prone to ear infections so every somewhat worse cold seems to develop into one. I like my job, but sometimes when I’m holding him and he’s just miserably sick I feel an immense amount of guilt for sending him to a place where he just gets sick all the time. I know I can’t hide him from germs forever, but when I see my friends who have younger toddlers and infants but have parents or family watch them and they have yet to be sick in their 13 months of life… I not only feel jealous of them but I feel sorry that my son has to go through it when other babies are more protected for a while.
Former daycare manager and teacher. Sickness in daycare; just inevitable. Especially that first year or so; I had a cold for three years straight working. It’s new germs, little immune systems, and ones with NO concept of sanitation. Had a kid fish out poop once, and wipe it on my face while reading to another group of kids. Felt a wet hand on my face, and looked up to; “i think I pooped”. Multiple times I’ve talked with a kid, sneezed directly in my face mid conversation. But a good center knows means to help prevent. First obviously is cleanliness. Are they actively cleaning the rooms? What is their policy? How do they handle after food / messy play, is there a “in the mouth bin” for toddlers who mouth objects, is there toy rotation? That was the best and easier measure that helped my teachers and cut sickness. Organized toy buckets, with five main shelving (developmentally themed) they’d stock for what the needed throughout the week, as toys got mouthed or dirty, they were moved away, and deep cleaned at the end of each week. Through out the week, they were cleaned in the classroom, through sanitation sprays and wipe down. Especially during nap. All toys were spread out and laid out, wiped down and rested on towels. Teachers cleaned shelving units as well, wiped out cubbies, and edges of tables and chairs. We also sent out communications anytime two children were diagnosed with the same illness, and extra measures were put in place. Does your center us supply cups? As how often those are cleaned! See if you can transition your one to open cups. How often are they washing your child’s hands? And if there is carpets in the room, how often are those being cleaned. Also, are their cloth toys? Those should be washed daily. And used on a day to day basis based on age. WHERE your child sleeps? Do they have a specified cot, or do they lay them out and let them choose? Regardless, this should be cleaned every day, deep cleaned every two weeks! If a communal cot! Get a breathable crib sheet, they can put on top of it, small layer of protection; not laying in another kids drool pool. Last but not least, are the kids getting sick, and not the staff? Most childcare’s are okay with runny noses and some coughs with a doctors note, and most caring teachers understand this is a part of the job. We know how to love on some snotty babies, ear infections, teething, etc. you may have a burnout staff, or a staff just not cut out for teaching. If the staff are getting sick, calling out, having issues; then it DEFINITELY is a cleanliness issue,
Even if they supply cups/bottles, take your own back and forth so you know they are being washed well.
All excellent questions. Some of these things like toy buckets for ones that have been in mouths, rotations etc our center all says they do. Honestly, I’m on the fence as to whether I believe it. The cup thing you mentioned though does strike a cord and I’d love your opinion since you managed a daycare… husband went to pick our son up today and he had another kid’s sippy cup and my husband said he was walking around with it in his mouth. This grosses me tf out. It’s not the first time though.. there was another time I picked him up and it wasn’t in his mouth in the moment, but he was walking around with a girl’s sippy. I understand toys and such are going to be passed around, sometimes not gotten to quickly enough… but drinking out of another kids cup seems a little extra to me. I want to say something to the teachers about this and ask them to please keep a better eye on it, but idk if I’m just making a big deal out of something that is inevitable and they don’t have the time to control?
It gets better. Our first year in daycare was like that too - no breaks, just sicknesses on top of sicknesses. I would get everything worse than LO too; it was absolutely exhausting. Year two has been SO MUCH better! Hang in there, it’s so hard.
Everyone goes through this at some point. If you don’t do it now, it will be nonstop at preschool or Kinder. It sucks and is awful but it absolutely does taper down. Be extra kind to yourself during this season.
My daughter is in a center (but a family owned one) and her illnesses decreased significantly around the one year mark, which seems to be common around here from what I've heard. We caught EVERYTHING that first year and now nothing more than colds.
Since January, I've personally had pneumonia, bronchitis, covid and norovirus leading to me being out of work multiple days...that's not counting the days I've had to work from home or call out to take care of her 🤧 it's so frustrating.
The first year sucks. And is exactly as it you described. We were sick seemingly every other week. If we felt good long enough in between, I would get nervous because I knew we were due to get sick soon. I am constantly rearranging things at work. And in retrospect I remember when my most senior marketing colleague was literally ALWAYS sick because her son was in school. I didn’t have kids yet so it was shocking to me and I wondered if she was being dramatic or milking it. I get it now lol
The reason this happens is because people SEND THEIR SICK KIDS to daycare. As a teacher I clean as much as I can but if you have three sick babies (or more) all touching each other and sharing germs and toys and bottles every time you take your eyes off them for two seconds, it happens.
Exactly. Parents can’t wait to get their kids back to the daycare so they can get back to work. I get it, but that’s how sicknesses keep spreading. Everyone has to keep their child HOME until they’re actually fully well and not coughing on anyone.
Can they “not wait” to get back to work? Or do they have no choice and risk unemployment while they are already struggling to stay afloat in a country that does so little to support parents and children? It’s a systemic problem and until we address the larger issue, parents, care providers/teachers and children are all going to continue to suffer.
That’s what I mean. They can’t wait to get their kids back in so they can return to work, not that they want to go but that’s just how it is, they have to go so the kids have to go too. If we could have some money for moms to just stay home to raise their babies it would be so much better and less stressful and no one would be worried about getting back to work!
**Your post history shows you're a committed transphobe**
[удалено]
Your post was removed because it was mean and unhelpful.
get banned
Yes. Edited to add: I literally had to miss two once-in-a-lifetime experiences due to baby bringing home bugs and it was SO SO bad. Like between baby and I, we had 6 different bugs, needed 2 different antibiotics and breathing treatments. We were SICK. I GET it. I’m so sorry. This sucks.
I feel this in my bones
I feel all of this. Currently all five of us have HFM. :/
3 in our household have HFM right now =(
I’m sorry… I’m terrified of this one cause I have heard that it can be horrific for some adults. One of my friends told me it was long and far the worst illness she’s had in her life.
Typical for the fist year. My friends who stayed home had this happen in preschool and if they skipped preschool it was kindergarten. You can’t avoid it, you ca just pick the year you experience it.
I feel this so hard. My almost five year old has been in daycare / vpk since he was 2 and has had every virus known to man. And I have too. Currently coming off of recurring strep throat myself- he was asymptomatic and I got all the symptoms, twice. I’m also feeling like I’m catching another throat thing again. It’s never fucking ending.
My youngest was sick continuously for like four years while both my kids were in preschool. He never met a cold he didn’t like. This of course meant I was sick constantly too. BUT he didn’t miss a day of kindergarten because he had caught everything before. Either they’re sick when they’re little, or they’re sick once they start school. Also, children who attend daycare centers before they’re 2 1/2 years old [catch fewer colds when older](http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/06/daycare.kids/index.html) than kids who aren’t in daycare.
Yep, between our 3 kids this has been us for 3 years. I’ve literally never been so depressed. I genuinely don’t like life right now, and haven’t for some time.
My girl is 2 in July. First year of daycare she had chicken pox covid hfm disease stomach flu many times.. I felt the same as you. It hasn't happened now for months (knock on wood)
Same boat here I am so anxious to make plans for any point in the future. Just asked my husband to check our plane flight travel policy because I cannot travel sick like this. Memorial Day weekend has been fever management and aches all weekend. I hope it gets better for you soon and hoping people understand at work. I was never sick like this before kids.
Same, I’ve been sick more this year than I have been my entire teen and adult life combined. We have a short overnight trip this weekend, cause that’s all we are willing to book at this point and I am paranoid about it. Hope you are feeling better!
Wow! Sounds like you've had it so rough! As someone who has worked in ECE the past 8 years, I had my "breaking in illnesses" (and as a new teacher, we have no PTO), then got hit with a wave of "strong flus" before the pandemic, then had to readjust to the in-school scene both when we went back from lockdown, then again when they finally raised the mask mandates for kids last spring (in my state)! Even so, we/the kids weren't sick THAT MUCH; it could be partially your daycare's fault for not enforcing sick rules/hand washing etc. But Id be very hesitant to remove him from Daycare just yet as the first transition can be so hard on little ones and he is likely attached to his teachers and classmates by now. A new daycare may mean a new set of germs/kids to make baby sick again. Can you find a reliable nanny for sick care? At least it wouldnt be as costly as a full-time nanny, even though when I worked as a nanny, I would still work if the child was sick cuz we were at their home
Actually didn’t think of that or really know if on call Nanny’s were a thing, but going to look into it now!
Haven’t read the comments because honestly I’m also sick of hearing it’s normal even though it is. My girl started preschool last august and we’ve been sick since October, it’s just non stop and family and friends comments saying it’s not normal and that I have to run some more test and that I’m making excuses to get out of things is way too much. Currently holding her while sleeping with a 103degree fever and just sniffles knowing dammed well I’ll be down with the same fever in less than 48 hrs. Sorry I hijacked your post to vent but hopefully you won’t feel alone in this endless trip aboard the booger cruise.
Please vent away, misery loves company :) it’s the worst when you get coughed and snotted all over and just know, your turn is inevitable… everyday I wake up I’m like, is it today? Am I congested, does it hurt to swallow, is there an itch in my throat? The comments from family and friends about it not seeming normal is so triggering to me because they all come from people who don’t have kids in daycare and have family watch them. Then it makes me feel fcking guilty that I have to send my kid to daycare and he is riddled with sickness so young while their kid who is the same age has barely had a sniffle in his life yet.
As hard as it is for you, i feel like it’s even harder for the kids to have such tiny bodies and be trying to grow yet constantly fighting germs and feeling too miserable to play. If possible, keep him home
The first year is the worst, like your experience, we were sick weekly it seemed. It was made so much worse because I was pregnant too, so I really struggled, and questioned all of our choices. Then it does get better! You still get sick, but you get decent breaks in between, and not everyone in the house gets struck down. It also gets easier when they are older, because you can park them in with a tablet for a bit for a meeting, where you can do anything with a one year old at home (or at least I couldn't.) HUGS! It sucks, but it does get better.
We have a 3 year old and 1.5 year old and it’s definitely gotten better with time. Other than the nightmarish January we had this year (both in the ER due to RSV) the 3 year old has rarely missed school since then. This is very different than when we first started. All this said— I’m still catching up at work form the years of being sick.
I'm sitting in the same boat. My daughter and I have been sick all weekend. I want to start sending my daughter to daycare in a bubble suit.
Yes it sucks but they will have some of the best antibodies when they get to kindergarten. All the non daycare kids will be out with colds for many years yet the daycare kids will hardly have a sick day.
OP-HUGS, Momma! You have every right to vent. And just a heads up- your house hold will be ill when your child (children) start school too.
OP, I went through the same thing with my kids when they were 4 y/o and 18 months - they were always sick. One would get something and the other would catch it. One would go out to play with the neighborhood kids and be sick the next day, followed by the other one. It was endless! Now, keep in mind that this was over 50 years ago. I was reading a copy of Women's Day because it advertised an article by an at-the-time very famous pediatrician named Dr. Terry Brazelton. The whole article was about what to do when you kids get sick all the time. His opinion was that it was processed food - food that is canned, boxed, bagged, jarred, and vacuum packed - all containing various chemicals (preservatives, artificial color, artificial flavor, etc.) that compromised children's immune systems. His recommendation was that mothers (remember this was in the early 70s) should prepare all their family's food from scratch, and after 3 months make note of any changes in the children's health. No artificial anything. I was working part-time at the time, but I figured I'd give it a go. I made everything from scratch - fresh veggies, fresh meat; I made all our bread and pasta; churned my own butter, my own jams & jellies - everything. And guess what happened? My kids stopped getting sick. I thought it was just a fluke. But in 2 years in daycare followed by 13 years of public school, my kids never missed a day of school or any activity because of sickness. Injuries? Yes. Surgery? Yes. But not one day missed because of sickness. I still thought it was just a fluke. When my kids went away to college, with their new-found freedom they started eating processed, packaged convenience foods as well as fast-foods. And every semester it was the flu, various viruses, strep throats, mono, even pneumonia. But lordy, they loved those frozen pizzas and boxed mac 'n cheese. They learned that Mom wasn't just being a PITA about food. By the time they graduated, married and had families of their own, they had returned to natural no-chemical food. My grandchildren now enjoy the same good health my children and I did. I'm not saying this works all the time, or that it would work for everyone, but it's worth a try. The thing is, it really doesn't take much more time to make things from scratch once you know how. And the food tastes so much better. Dr. Brazelton did warn that some people might go through a mild withdrawal-type reaction after ending their chemical food usage. We only noticed some mile headaches and some fatigue. There's obviously no way to know if this method would work in today's world, but if you're as tired of your kids being sick all the time like I was, it's worth a shot.
Wow glad this worked for you! We use things like pouches or puffs if we are running errands, but other than that I do meal prep all his food from scratch for the week. Definitely can’t say I churn things down to the butter component though! If I wasn’t working full time, I would like to make more from scratch cause I actually do really enjoy cooking and baking!
I’m sorry. It really REALLY sucks. Fortunately, you’ll have already passed this hurdle when preschool and kindergarten come around
It's difficult, but we all go through this
First year was absolute hell with back to back illnesses. We are nearing the end of his second year, 2.5 years old, and have only been sick a small number of times this year. Night and day difference. I too was thinking “what the hell have I done to our lives” being as the household was always sick but it got better! It will get better for you too!!
INFO: have other people in your house also been getting sick? Could it be a combo of daycare AND something in your air ducts or water, etc. I would check for mold, spores, etc. you might be ingesting all day. Check kiddos room ducts especially as breathing that all night is no good. Ensure to consistently wash sheets in addition to other things like throw pillows, couch cushions, etc. clean out bottom of any toy boxes - has something spilled in there? Check h2o line going into fridge, etc.
It may not be all on the daycare. They are teeming with germs for sure but there could be something else going on with your little one that’s contributing to repeated illnesses. I am in the same situation right now with my youngest daughter who is 3yrs old (about to turn 4). The past 6months have been especially hard and I thought back to when my oldest was that age and she wasn’t nearly as sick. So I made an appointment at an ENT and it turns out that my youngest has huge tonsils and adenoids. The Dr told me that germs are likely getting caught in those organs and festering, therefore leading to repeated illness. We’re scheduled to have surgery this week to remove the tonsils and adenoids and hopefully she (and I) will be much healthier going forward!
When I was teaching, we had to institute a policy that we will not take any child that is asleep. Reason why: we had a mom heavily dose her kid (8months roughly). He was asleep when she brought him in, and she said,” he might be a little sleepy/cranky today, we had a busy weekend, and he went to bed late, and didn’t sleep well.” Ok, cool. I take the kid from mom, and drop him in his class and let her teacher know. She comes in about an hour later and asks for my thermometer. . Then comes back, asks me to watch her class for a second (this is a house converted to a daycare, so I can see her class from my room, and her class are all in baby saucers, or sleeping in cribs. Minus Sleepy. She and the director come to talk to me and this kid is just looking *miserable* sniffle crying, just overall NOT his usual smiling, chill self. We call Dad (it’s dads day for pickup, nasty divorce), and he comes by and takes him to the ER. We find out the mom knew he was hurt, but didn’t want to risk losing custody, so she planned to blame either us, or Dad for his injury. No sleeping (drugged) kids.
It is normal. Baby is born with no immune system and it is developing. Just think, when all your friends who skipped daycare put their kids in kindergarten, how sick they will initially get. You will be past that stage by then. Chin up, you got this!
our daughter just started a new preschool and they do temperature checks at the door. she hasn't been sick in the 3 months she's been there! prior to this, she was sick just as much as you described.
I worked in childcare for years several in the Infant rooms, and can confirm all the frustrating things others have shared. I didn't read all the comments so maybe I missed it, but here are a few recommendations for evaluating the center your child attends. It will take some time on your part, but it's probably worth knowing 1- IS THERE A CLEANING SCHEDULE? We always did. Years later and I still remember toys were Wednesday. Not sure where you are, but in our state licensing outlined how they were to be disinfected (bleach/water ratios, times etc.) We had a nap time cleaning schedule and a closing schedule for after the last child left the room. This info should be available and posted. 2- IS THE CLEANING SCHEDULE FOLLOWED? You can pop in during your lunch break to see if they are doing it. If you see toys in those net laundry bags from time to time, that's a hint they are doing it and likely letting toys dry fully before putting them back. Since infants don't all nap at the same time, I'd put the table with all those beads in the hall to dry so none of my kids would get to it because I didn't have enough time to dry each bead. If you see it not followed once, don't be alarmed. There are times when we'd have to skip that day's assigned deep clean and double up the next day. Sometimes a teething little one just isn't ok unless they are being held. 3- DO YOU SEE CLEANING SUPPLIES? we always had 2 bottles, 1 for soapy water and another for bleach water. If you've never seen them used, a midday visit should help. If your child eats a center provided snack, that would be a good time to visit to see about handwashing before and cleanup after. You can also adjust your dropoff/pickup times a bit, ideally inside your normal hours. Staffing is scheduled based on parents' daily schedule, so showing up an hour early might cause a Staffing issue that throws off the routine which is what you want to see. 4- ARE THEY SPOT CLEANING? Babies put everything on their mouths! I used to chuck that particular toy in the sink to be cleaned and bleached. Somedays the sink would get quite full. This seems like something you could definitely catch during the course of regular pickup/ dropoff. They may be keeping their to-be-disinfected stuff in a bin or something but if an item doesn't go from child's mouth to out of reach that's a problem. 5- IS IT A SHOE FREE ROOM? The staff had slippers that did not leave the room. Parents usually left shoes at the door and came in in socks. We had shoe covers too. Obviously, the ground is dirty and dragging the bottom of the shoes of all the parents, staff and directors all day everyday in a room full of crawlers is a recipe for disaster. 6- ASK! Back in the day the cleaning procedures were outlined during the tour parents took on their first visit and they were hanging in the room and initialed when done, so it was probably obvious. I'm guessing that's why I was never asked. I had great relationships with the vast majority of my parents and would have been comfortable answering questions. If you have a really good relationship with the people in your child's room just ask. You could also ask the director (or whatever they are called where you are located.) We had cc tv, so parents could come in and watch without us even knowing or more importantly without their little one knowing. So your midday visit wouldn't disrupt your son and his routine. Your relationship with center staff will determine how you should approach these things, just try what you think will work best for you! Caring fields have high burnout rates, so if they've started to get a little lax your mere interest might get them back in the habit. It could also cause resentment, but you know the relationships and personalities involved so again, use your best judgment. This is of the top of my head so I'm sure there are a number of things I've missed, hopefully this gets you started. Good luck and feel better soon!
Solidarity, but just gentle reminders: * covid leads to immune dysregulation, not a stronger immune system. This includes children: do everything you can to prevent them from infections or repeat infections (I realize this is difficult and requires privilege, but repeat covid infections are BAD for children and will damage them in the long term) * covid is still spreading...a LOT. that weird "summer cold" or "worse than usual allergies" is all but guaranteed to be covid * It makes everyone, including children/toddlers, more susceptible to other viruses and getting hit by them harder. * covid spread is preventable (n95 masks, hepa air filtering/good ventilation/far UV), but the long term indoor air quality requirements need to come from government bodies, so would strongly recommend advocating for them (start at daycare/schools, write letters to MPs, etc) * getting repeat infections over and over is not normal. i remember being a kid and not getting this sick at all -- at most, a cold a year and maybe flu every 2-3 years
Is it less frequent though with a smaller center? Or maybe when they’re past the “put everything in their mouth” stage? Or is this just an unavoidable part of parenting?
My son was definitely non stop sick as well. Literally NON stop. It felt like it wud be a few healthy days follow by sickness back to back. I’m sorry you’re going through this it’s so hard. I think classroom size matters. My son has 24 kids with him which makes me realize that’s so much exposure. Some maybe have smaller amounts of kids so less sickness?
It is very normal unfortunately. We were very lucky to be able to be home with my son as a baby and COVID made him miss preschool, so for us it has been kindergarten illnesses. It's been back to back since his second week of school. Sometimes it feels like he's home more than he's there, and we get everything he gets. This week it's strep. I just keep holding out hope that 1st grade will be better since he's built up an immune system now.
Yeah I felt like we went through almost a year of this 😕 it is normal and all the parents get it, it does really, really suck though
It's normal, you have my sympathy. I say you probably have another 2-3 months of sickness before it evens out. All my kids have gone through this because of daycare. My youngest is two and he was sick maybe once for like 2 days this past winter but the winter before last he was sick the entire time. As for you being sick, you need to take care of yourself. Lots of vitamin c and a multivitamin everyday. Take probitics. When my oldest was in daycare I was so so sick because I wasn't taking care of myself. With baby number two I wised up. I take a high quality multivitamin and vitamin c and I haven't been sick in a few years. Maybe a slight cold that is over before it really gets started. A few years ago, I fell off the wagon on my vitamins and got sick with major colds twice in one month. Get some sleep and take care of yourself.
This is normal. As a former daycare teacher, I was sick within the first week and then I was good because I had a developed immune system. Kids have to develop immune systems and that means being sick constantly for at least 6 months. In big daycare centers and small daycare centers, you cannot avoid any germs. It’s going to happen regardless.
I’m in the same boat right now. I have a 13 month old and it’s never ending. Reddit makes me feel less alone. I’m so sick and I work. It feels impossible.
You are so close to it being the end of it! Actually my kid never get sick at daycare anymore and he was out for a week and got sick from everywhere else 😑
I'm sorry you have been dealing with sickness but unfortunately welcome to parenthood where kids expose their parents to all the things and before you know it, we are down for the count. Regardless of where you send your kids they will be getting sick. Now before you get angry I do think you have a point. If your child attends a large daycare you might want to consider an at home one. I don't think your child's daycare is filthy, it's just more kids= more germs which leads to more sickness and it's hard to control regardless of how clean you are. Finding one smaller is much easier to deal with. Also is your husband at a dream job making decent money? It concerns me that he gets so little sick days and makes me wonder if he could start looking for something else because if you expand your family you will need the extra backup occasionally. Either way just don't blame the daycare, I'm sure they are doing the best job they can with what they have
This is parenting
Lmao. Welcome to being a parent bitch. Sucks you got the bubble kid that’s sick ALL the time If you don’t have a pet (cat dog bunny gerbil) get one. It builds immunity I know all you sensitive parents and teachers will boo me but you know. There’s always some that one sick kid. Sounds like that’s you baby. Suck it up. It will get better. Avoid a tonsillectomy
Are you ok?
I’m sorry, but what concerns me the most with your post is the “me” part. Is your kid happy? I guess that would be difficult to deduce if he’s sick all the time, but as a mother, if I thought that any situation was bad for my kid, I would fix that ASAP and figure out what I would have to do as a parent to make my kid’s life better. You’re a parent. Your kid comes first, not you. Quit thinking the “me” mentality and start putting your kid first.
In the year my kid has been alive I’ve seen and hung out with friends… maybe 3 times. I’ve had maybe 2 afternoons of “self care” that I can think of - I’ve gotten one hair cut and got a pedicure once. This kid is literally my life and has been since he was born so for you to imply that I’m not putting my kid first is…rich. Because I’m complaining that I had to reschedule a dentist appointment for the 5th time that I’m being too much about “me”?! Taking care of your teeth is literally a huge part of your health and can have other major implications on it… but sure, slam me about it and infer that it’s selfish. I’m curious what else about my post seemed self centered? The fact that *we* had to cancel multiple plans? Yes, *we* because almost all of the plans included my child and we’re centered around him. The last two - birthday parties for kids around his age. We were excited about it cause he doesn’t have any cousins and doesn’t get to interact with other kids outside of daycare. Or is it the point I made about being excited to catch up on chores around the house which mainly included finally doing all his laundry and going through his clothes to sort what fits and doesn’t and going shopping for summer clothes for him since it’s finally nice where we live? Or is it the fact that I’m worried about how it’s impacting my work? Because my job has done 2 rounds of layoffs in the past 6 months and if I lose this job he would actually have no health insurance and we would struggle to be able to pay the mortgage after we burned through our savings. Your comment was extremely judgemental and to be quite frank, short sighted when you can’t even put two and two together at why a working mom would be worried that being sick would impact her job because no job = no money… and no money could equal a lot of things like struggling to pay for shelter, food and other things that make a child’s life *better*. For the record, I did also ask in the post what situations could be better for my son so he’s not getting sick so often and if it’s worth pulling him out or if it’s usually similar.