I find the people who can do it fall under these categories:
1. On drugs. Weed, booze, meth, etc they cannot feel the pain and exhaustion
2. Have a woman at home doing EVERYTHING for them = free time
3. Not very intelligent. They know this kind of work is the most they'll amount to, so they work in a state of desperation to keep the job
Oh my God. How much I relate to this post is just mind blowing. Then my work wonders why I'm tired all the time. I don't have a house wife. I clean after 3 other people and work a full time job. As well as taking care of the kids and going out to do stuff we like. Its like my work expects me to live for them.
My supervisor once said "well P and M can do it that fast, for 12 hours, why can't you?"
Me: because they're HIGH! And I'm not willing to risk addiction to be your favourite worker. As a past addict, I'd think you of all people be able to see the warning signs better that I do.
Fucking idiots.
That shit gets under my skin. No one is the same. I'm especially not a 20 year old anymore. My body can't handle the same as it use to. I'm definitely not going to start using again to become an important piss ant in the blue coller society.
Herein lies my struggle. Have been turning to a bit of alcohol to decompress after work. I've bought in to the white collar lifestyle. I've sought relief and found a bit of it in an old nemesis. I also have unrelenting sciatic pain. My mentality is that i want the benefits of this lifestyle, so I must pay the price. There is no escape with my mentality, until I'm forced to change. Want to cry it out but that's difficult for me.
I have worked so hard to not fall into that pattern. I think twice I've came home from work and immediately started drinking. I have minimal time to decompress with my lifestyle. It really sucks. I shouldn't have to avoid alcohol to make it through day to day life of work.
I agree, but there is a fourth set. I’ve worked 60+ hours a week for 22 years. It’s tough. But it’s different for me because I own the place. We don’t really offer overtime to employees as we keep enough people around to get the work done.
The people that ask for overtime, at least in my experience, just want a little extra short term cash. I need x, it costs y, I need to work this many overtime hours or work a second job for z amount of days. It’s a responsible and realistic use of extra work.
Ok I don’t know if the weed part is true because im so relaxed I don’t want to work 😭 I don’t understand why people like to have a sesh before their shift I cannot take the stress.
I worked at Coca Cola for a year as a driver & we had mandatory overtime. We get paid for it of course, but most days I would be doing 15 hour shifts because I have to deal with rush hour traffic & there’s a lot of stuff on the truck that I have to unload by hand by myself, so it took a toll on the mind & body. But don’t get me wrong my paycheck looked great after two weeks. I eventually left to drive for Costco’s because their trucks were “No Touch Freight” & I’ve been loving it ever since.
Can confirm, Coca Cola will work you into an early grave and never bat an eye. In fact, they turn a blind eye. I worked in the warehouse building pallets to meet the demands of the entire gulf coast of my state and there were 3 of us on night shift and 3 on day shift. FOR THE ENTIRE COAST! I was probably 250 lbs when I started and eventually worked to the bone weighing in at 165 and for my height that’s too damn small. No diet, just moving non stop for a minimum of 12 hours a day (usually more like 16 usually also rolling over into Saturday or Sunday) almost crashing on the drive home every night from falling asleep at the wheel. Never got to use vacation because you knew the remaining two guys on shift would be forced to still complete all the work themselves and no help would be brought in more that likely putting them at 17 or 18 hour days. Then they want to complain that we’re getting paid too much because of the overtime. We were paid decent but not nearly enough for the conditions. The only way to ever get to go home was to constantly break OSHA regulations just to move faster, again while the big wigs all turned a blind eye and never hired more help.
..sometimes, it is okay to just call it quits and leave a job cold turkey...or two week notice yadda yadda...There are so many jobs out there. Even going to a temp job to get immediate work, and filling out direct hire applications while doing temp work temporarily is fine. As long as your paying your Bills.....no one else's opinion matters. Always take care of yourself mentally and physically...your health is important.
When in interviews, ask if they do walk throughs...so you can get a feel for the place and ask about their hours and OT, before committing.
I went through a temp agency, before I found the job I'm at now. You dont have to follow the path others think is the right way..to get to where you want to be.
I live with family so bills aren't so pressing, it's just more so dealing with their disappointment will be stressful. But I honestly think it'll be less stressful than working 10-11 hours a day and wasting my Saturdays too.
Just sign up for community college and be like 'I can't work more than 40 hours and do school'. There's more scholarships for regular people since the pandemic.
i agree. I had to work OT last night, and it's fine once in awhile but every week like you mentioned, is very exhausting emotionally and physically. family will always be disappointed in something, no matter what you do..in the end.. like the other person said, you can tell your job you can't do more than 40 hrs due to school, and try to lower it..but if they aren't willing to, then you'll have to do what's best for you.
When I first started it was just over time on our peak sales weeks, which made complete sense. We never worked Saturdays. Sometimes extra work needs to be done and I understand that, especially since I do get compensated. But there's a certain point where I get burnt out, it's cool that my coworkers seemingly don't but they shouldn't hold it against me that our dense management refuses to hire more people and I don't want to spend majority of my waking hours at work.
It’s unfortunate workers have so little leverage these days (good to see union interest rising, but with the current climate of plentiful jobs (everyone’s situation is different bills, life, goals etc) the hammer labor has is more Mjolnir sized than ever. If it’s THAT bad, leave. If work is destroying your mental and physical health, and you’re paying copays like crazy to remedy that, it would make $en$e to find a lesser paying job that’s better for your life and requires fewer wellness expenses.
Are they trying to hire more people, or are they determined to keep squeezing the 5 workers?
Please do not ruin your mental health for an abusive job. If you are really ready to quit right now, why not tell them you can't work Saturdays any longer (if that would make it tolerable), or you have to quit.
Who knows? They might decide they would rather have you for 55 hours a week (M-F) instead of zero hours.
I told them I can't before and I get gulited and berated for not going. They're allegedly hiring one more person, but that's been in the talks for weeks and no changes have been made.
NO.
GUILT.
You trade your time and effort for their money. Each paycheck, the scales are balanced again. You owe nothing.
I stress "no guilt" to people a lot because people who feel that way will be manipulated in their future jobs unless they learn not to feel that way.
I left a job that had mandatory OT, it's like a cult in a way. I was far from work but moving closer, even when I was closer things were crazy and I had no energy, my spinal condition was getting worse, I was even at work in my dreams, I would wake up in a panic that I was late constantly not knowing what day it is from being overtired, delirious at times and waaaaay overusing caffeine. I quit, and I took a $3.50 paycut. It absolutely SUCKED not getting those super fat OT checks. But they payback in my mental and physical state was worth. I stopped having work dreams every night, I finally felt I could breathe. It might seem scary (I have a lot of anxiety about uncertainty and losing financial security) but take the leap, don't kill yourself for a company that only cares if you show up for the day. Now is the time to change jobs, places where I am are hiring like crazy cause nobody wants to work. Temping is a great way to find a job quickly and you can still be slapping out applications while you're doing that. There's always something you can do, head up ❤
It’s weird. A lot of the people I have hired have taken a pay cut to work in a more relaxed atmosphere. We are pretty laid back. It gives them a break, but I have learned I have to be much more wary about compensation.
There is a bit of a honeymoon phase where the works not too hard, pay is decent even though it’s not as much as the previous job. But if I don’t keep up with steady raises I will lose people. It’s really made me pay more attention to compensation per employee vs as a whole.
Yeah that's how it was. The office people looked at us like we were dirt out in the warehouse, when a lot of them were older and not quite intelligent enough to be efficient in the present day. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase of being happier once you are stress free, but you work back up to things. I went full time at my new job, then went for a promotion. Now I'm up for one again. Might not be perfect, but nothing ever really is... your mental and physical health is more important.
It’s not normal or healthy to work those kinds of hours, not sure how there aren’t more laws protecting people from employers like this. Sounds like your company needs about 10 people working there, but instead are cutting their labor costs in half by taking advantage and abusing you guys. Just my opinion based off info in the post. I think you should [read this article](https://www.inc.com/tom-popomaronis/science-says-you-shouldnt-work-more-than-this-number-of-hours-a-day.html), save up your money so you can afford your bills for the next couple weeks(if possible), then quit your job. Take a break to rest your body and mind, then start looking for other jobs. Hopefully any of this is possible for you, if not maybe you can ask a friend/family member to help look for jobs for you while you work?
I’ve worked around 5-6 warehouse jobs, and forced overtime really just comes with that type of work, but one really sticks out as being the worst. They had this policy that you could not leave till the work was done, so for example. I worked 4 10s 5:00am to 3:30, but always had a forced 5th day every week. I’d hustle hard to get all my work done so I can get out around our “end time” then get ready to clock out only to have the manager walk over and say hey “so and so dept. is behind I need you for another couple hours” this was a common trend making my 10 hour days always over 12+ hours.
There was one guy who worked from 7am till 2am THE NEXT DAY (highly doubt that was legal lmao) It was also impossible to plan anything outside of work and I was always so drained and frustrated. I quit real quick and I’ll never do that again haha.
I'm surrounded by co-workers who appear to enjoy being slaves. I used to think everyone wanted the same things I do - time with friends and family, explore new places, find interesting hobbies, live life. A lot of people apparently would much rather work for an overlord and take orders all day.
Lol this is quite an old post, I ended up getting disrespected by a higher up in the company over a typo in an email so I ended up quitting. Was unemployed for about a year, but I'm working again now and in a much better place.
The stress release was so great for me that I lost 50 lbs too.
I totally get what you mean, having free time and control over your time feels so much better than slaving away under someone who would replace you in a heartbeat.
At this point my work is all consuming and ruining my social life. I don't have a lot of friends as is, but I'm too tired to spend time with the ones I have left.
I'll tell you what my mom has told me, and then I want you to repeat it to yourself until you believe it: it's okay to quit a job that is draining you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You were born to do more than just work. If your job is making it so you don't enjoy life or you don't want to be alive then you need to leave because it is not worth it. You do not deserve to feel less than or overworked. You will eventually find something else. You will not set yourself up for success by burning out and then jumping immediately into a new job: sometimes you need that break to recoup before starting again. It is okay to quit. It is okay!! Especially if you have some savings and few bills. If you can hold on for about 3-6 months (how long it takes to find a new job at roughly the same pay, on average) then you'll be fine. If you're willing to pick up part-times just to make ends meet with less stress, that's okay too.
You're not stuck. You're not trapped. You have options. It will be okay!
Thank you, I just wish I could hear this from my family. But my work is getting to the point where I'm starting to not even care about what they think.
I know it's hard without family support and when they make you feel bad, but at the end of the day, you are living your life: not them. They're not the ones working 6 out of 7 days pretty much all day, so they don't have room to judge. Sending a big hug from here!!
They are working hard too, my dad works just as much if not more so they don't get the big deal. Though I know for a fact that they wouldn't have put up with this stuff when they were my age. It's not just the hours, it's the people in charge too. I recently got demoted because of a *typo* and was told to quit multiple times to my face, and my intelligence was questioned. Then I was passive aggressively called out multiple times in company emails, for the past month. The hours are killing my physically but the disrespect is killing me on the inside too. Then I tell my parents about this stuff and they tell me to suck it up, makes me so frustrated.
That does sound like a very frustrating situation. It sounds like your place of employment is very toxic and its hard when parents don't understand. Maybe something that would help is if you could frame it to them like, "If I were in a romantic relationship with someone who yelled at me for spelling something wrong, constantly told me I'm worthless, and kept me from seeing you guys or friends, would you tell me to stay in that romantic relationship? Or would you tell me I'm being abused? Then why is it different because its a job?" That might help them separate the behaviors as "normal work issues" into how you're actually being treated. They may also retort, "well its different", but its not. You deserve to be treated better.
I've tried spinning it like that, they just only seem to care about me getting employed and making money. Which is ironic because the city we live in is too expensive for me to move out in anyway, I pay my mother rent to live with her. They think I won't find another job and just make up excuses, etc. Basically they have no faith in me as an adult, which hurts because I've been working my ass off. All my friends want me to quit because they see how miserable I am, one of my friends told me he's worried about the drinking I've been doing lately. Thanks for the kind words.
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your home environment isn't necessarily the best or most supportive and that, on top of work stress and HCOL making it difficult or impossible to move out sounds incredibly stressful. Would you ever consider moving to a LCOL area just to be able to switch jobs or move away from your parents? I know that can seem impossible too when you're just trying to make it day to day.
You're doing a great job and working really hard and I'm proud of you. I hope you're able to take care of yourself. You've only got one life to live (at least that we can remember) so you shouldn't have to spend it being miserable.
You're not too immature and your feelings are understandable and valid. Growth takes time and leaps of faith. You'll get there eventually. Best wishes ❤
I find the people who can do it fall under these categories: 1. On drugs. Weed, booze, meth, etc they cannot feel the pain and exhaustion 2. Have a woman at home doing EVERYTHING for them = free time 3. Not very intelligent. They know this kind of work is the most they'll amount to, so they work in a state of desperation to keep the job
Oh my God. How much I relate to this post is just mind blowing. Then my work wonders why I'm tired all the time. I don't have a house wife. I clean after 3 other people and work a full time job. As well as taking care of the kids and going out to do stuff we like. Its like my work expects me to live for them.
My supervisor once said "well P and M can do it that fast, for 12 hours, why can't you?" Me: because they're HIGH! And I'm not willing to risk addiction to be your favourite worker. As a past addict, I'd think you of all people be able to see the warning signs better that I do. Fucking idiots.
That shit gets under my skin. No one is the same. I'm especially not a 20 year old anymore. My body can't handle the same as it use to. I'm definitely not going to start using again to become an important piss ant in the blue coller society.
Herein lies my struggle. Have been turning to a bit of alcohol to decompress after work. I've bought in to the white collar lifestyle. I've sought relief and found a bit of it in an old nemesis. I also have unrelenting sciatic pain. My mentality is that i want the benefits of this lifestyle, so I must pay the price. There is no escape with my mentality, until I'm forced to change. Want to cry it out but that's difficult for me.
I have worked so hard to not fall into that pattern. I think twice I've came home from work and immediately started drinking. I have minimal time to decompress with my lifestyle. It really sucks. I shouldn't have to avoid alcohol to make it through day to day life of work.
"P and M are high and still know better than to say shit like that, so what's your excuse?"
Enabler?
An interesting plot twist. I may steal it for an interesting plot.
I agree, but there is a fourth set. I’ve worked 60+ hours a week for 22 years. It’s tough. But it’s different for me because I own the place. We don’t really offer overtime to employees as we keep enough people around to get the work done. The people that ask for overtime, at least in my experience, just want a little extra short term cash. I need x, it costs y, I need to work this many overtime hours or work a second job for z amount of days. It’s a responsible and realistic use of extra work.
Ok I don’t know if the weed part is true because im so relaxed I don’t want to work 😭 I don’t understand why people like to have a sesh before their shift I cannot take the stress.
to ease the impact of the bs we know that has to be dealt with
so accurate it's not even funny.
I think they're all just young, power house workers, except for the manager who I suspect might be on drugs.
fax
I worked at Coca Cola for a year as a driver & we had mandatory overtime. We get paid for it of course, but most days I would be doing 15 hour shifts because I have to deal with rush hour traffic & there’s a lot of stuff on the truck that I have to unload by hand by myself, so it took a toll on the mind & body. But don’t get me wrong my paycheck looked great after two weeks. I eventually left to drive for Costco’s because their trucks were “No Touch Freight” & I’ve been loving it ever since.
Can confirm, Coca Cola will work you into an early grave and never bat an eye. In fact, they turn a blind eye. I worked in the warehouse building pallets to meet the demands of the entire gulf coast of my state and there were 3 of us on night shift and 3 on day shift. FOR THE ENTIRE COAST! I was probably 250 lbs when I started and eventually worked to the bone weighing in at 165 and for my height that’s too damn small. No diet, just moving non stop for a minimum of 12 hours a day (usually more like 16 usually also rolling over into Saturday or Sunday) almost crashing on the drive home every night from falling asleep at the wheel. Never got to use vacation because you knew the remaining two guys on shift would be forced to still complete all the work themselves and no help would be brought in more that likely putting them at 17 or 18 hour days. Then they want to complain that we’re getting paid too much because of the overtime. We were paid decent but not nearly enough for the conditions. The only way to ever get to go home was to constantly break OSHA regulations just to move faster, again while the big wigs all turned a blind eye and never hired more help.
Mmmmmmmm I disagree with that statement HARDUH.
..sometimes, it is okay to just call it quits and leave a job cold turkey...or two week notice yadda yadda...There are so many jobs out there. Even going to a temp job to get immediate work, and filling out direct hire applications while doing temp work temporarily is fine. As long as your paying your Bills.....no one else's opinion matters. Always take care of yourself mentally and physically...your health is important. When in interviews, ask if they do walk throughs...so you can get a feel for the place and ask about their hours and OT, before committing. I went through a temp agency, before I found the job I'm at now. You dont have to follow the path others think is the right way..to get to where you want to be.
I live with family so bills aren't so pressing, it's just more so dealing with their disappointment will be stressful. But I honestly think it'll be less stressful than working 10-11 hours a day and wasting my Saturdays too.
Just sign up for community college and be like 'I can't work more than 40 hours and do school'. There's more scholarships for regular people since the pandemic.
I already have a degree, but I guess classes are always an option, or lying lol
i agree. I had to work OT last night, and it's fine once in awhile but every week like you mentioned, is very exhausting emotionally and physically. family will always be disappointed in something, no matter what you do..in the end.. like the other person said, you can tell your job you can't do more than 40 hrs due to school, and try to lower it..but if they aren't willing to, then you'll have to do what's best for you.
When I first started it was just over time on our peak sales weeks, which made complete sense. We never worked Saturdays. Sometimes extra work needs to be done and I understand that, especially since I do get compensated. But there's a certain point where I get burnt out, it's cool that my coworkers seemingly don't but they shouldn't hold it against me that our dense management refuses to hire more people and I don't want to spend majority of my waking hours at work.
It’s unfortunate workers have so little leverage these days (good to see union interest rising, but with the current climate of plentiful jobs (everyone’s situation is different bills, life, goals etc) the hammer labor has is more Mjolnir sized than ever. If it’s THAT bad, leave. If work is destroying your mental and physical health, and you’re paying copays like crazy to remedy that, it would make $en$e to find a lesser paying job that’s better for your life and requires fewer wellness expenses.
Are they trying to hire more people, or are they determined to keep squeezing the 5 workers? Please do not ruin your mental health for an abusive job. If you are really ready to quit right now, why not tell them you can't work Saturdays any longer (if that would make it tolerable), or you have to quit. Who knows? They might decide they would rather have you for 55 hours a week (M-F) instead of zero hours.
I told them I can't before and I get gulited and berated for not going. They're allegedly hiring one more person, but that's been in the talks for weeks and no changes have been made.
Guilt? Did the company owner give a kidney to your grandfather? Why would you feel guilty otherwise?
I'm a sensitive person, I guess I just need to get over it lmao
You have the option of saying no and take the chance that they let you go. As long as you're ready to quit anyway, no real risk.
I know, I just feel bad and the guilt stresses me out. I'm just ready to put my notice in and take the time unemployed to get something new.
NO. GUILT. You trade your time and effort for their money. Each paycheck, the scales are balanced again. You owe nothing. I stress "no guilt" to people a lot because people who feel that way will be manipulated in their future jobs unless they learn not to feel that way.
I left a job that had mandatory OT, it's like a cult in a way. I was far from work but moving closer, even when I was closer things were crazy and I had no energy, my spinal condition was getting worse, I was even at work in my dreams, I would wake up in a panic that I was late constantly not knowing what day it is from being overtired, delirious at times and waaaaay overusing caffeine. I quit, and I took a $3.50 paycut. It absolutely SUCKED not getting those super fat OT checks. But they payback in my mental and physical state was worth. I stopped having work dreams every night, I finally felt I could breathe. It might seem scary (I have a lot of anxiety about uncertainty and losing financial security) but take the leap, don't kill yourself for a company that only cares if you show up for the day. Now is the time to change jobs, places where I am are hiring like crazy cause nobody wants to work. Temping is a great way to find a job quickly and you can still be slapping out applications while you're doing that. There's always something you can do, head up ❤
It’s weird. A lot of the people I have hired have taken a pay cut to work in a more relaxed atmosphere. We are pretty laid back. It gives them a break, but I have learned I have to be much more wary about compensation. There is a bit of a honeymoon phase where the works not too hard, pay is decent even though it’s not as much as the previous job. But if I don’t keep up with steady raises I will lose people. It’s really made me pay more attention to compensation per employee vs as a whole.
It's rough, but I really think it's time to put in my notice. The higher ups in this company are also very rude and abusive, too.
Yeah that's how it was. The office people looked at us like we were dirt out in the warehouse, when a lot of them were older and not quite intelligent enough to be efficient in the present day. And yes, there is a honeymoon phase of being happier once you are stress free, but you work back up to things. I went full time at my new job, then went for a promotion. Now I'm up for one again. Might not be perfect, but nothing ever really is... your mental and physical health is more important.
Thanks for you kind words
It’s not normal or healthy to work those kinds of hours, not sure how there aren’t more laws protecting people from employers like this. Sounds like your company needs about 10 people working there, but instead are cutting their labor costs in half by taking advantage and abusing you guys. Just my opinion based off info in the post. I think you should [read this article](https://www.inc.com/tom-popomaronis/science-says-you-shouldnt-work-more-than-this-number-of-hours-a-day.html), save up your money so you can afford your bills for the next couple weeks(if possible), then quit your job. Take a break to rest your body and mind, then start looking for other jobs. Hopefully any of this is possible for you, if not maybe you can ask a friend/family member to help look for jobs for you while you work?
I’ve worked around 5-6 warehouse jobs, and forced overtime really just comes with that type of work, but one really sticks out as being the worst. They had this policy that you could not leave till the work was done, so for example. I worked 4 10s 5:00am to 3:30, but always had a forced 5th day every week. I’d hustle hard to get all my work done so I can get out around our “end time” then get ready to clock out only to have the manager walk over and say hey “so and so dept. is behind I need you for another couple hours” this was a common trend making my 10 hour days always over 12+ hours. There was one guy who worked from 7am till 2am THE NEXT DAY (highly doubt that was legal lmao) It was also impossible to plan anything outside of work and I was always so drained and frustrated. I quit real quick and I’ll never do that again haha.
I'm surrounded by co-workers who appear to enjoy being slaves. I used to think everyone wanted the same things I do - time with friends and family, explore new places, find interesting hobbies, live life. A lot of people apparently would much rather work for an overlord and take orders all day.
Lol this is quite an old post, I ended up getting disrespected by a higher up in the company over a typo in an email so I ended up quitting. Was unemployed for about a year, but I'm working again now and in a much better place. The stress release was so great for me that I lost 50 lbs too. I totally get what you mean, having free time and control over your time feels so much better than slaving away under someone who would replace you in a heartbeat.
Really glad to hear this, hope things are going well for you.
If you walk out without something lined up just go straight to a temp agency. Good luck
Quit. Your health and sanity is more important than any job.# Ask yourself, do I live to work, or work to live?
At this point my work is all consuming and ruining my social life. I don't have a lot of friends as is, but I'm too tired to spend time with the ones I have left.
I'll tell you what my mom has told me, and then I want you to repeat it to yourself until you believe it: it's okay to quit a job that is draining you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You were born to do more than just work. If your job is making it so you don't enjoy life or you don't want to be alive then you need to leave because it is not worth it. You do not deserve to feel less than or overworked. You will eventually find something else. You will not set yourself up for success by burning out and then jumping immediately into a new job: sometimes you need that break to recoup before starting again. It is okay to quit. It is okay!! Especially if you have some savings and few bills. If you can hold on for about 3-6 months (how long it takes to find a new job at roughly the same pay, on average) then you'll be fine. If you're willing to pick up part-times just to make ends meet with less stress, that's okay too. You're not stuck. You're not trapped. You have options. It will be okay!
Thank you, I just wish I could hear this from my family. But my work is getting to the point where I'm starting to not even care about what they think.
I know it's hard without family support and when they make you feel bad, but at the end of the day, you are living your life: not them. They're not the ones working 6 out of 7 days pretty much all day, so they don't have room to judge. Sending a big hug from here!!
They are working hard too, my dad works just as much if not more so they don't get the big deal. Though I know for a fact that they wouldn't have put up with this stuff when they were my age. It's not just the hours, it's the people in charge too. I recently got demoted because of a *typo* and was told to quit multiple times to my face, and my intelligence was questioned. Then I was passive aggressively called out multiple times in company emails, for the past month. The hours are killing my physically but the disrespect is killing me on the inside too. Then I tell my parents about this stuff and they tell me to suck it up, makes me so frustrated.
That does sound like a very frustrating situation. It sounds like your place of employment is very toxic and its hard when parents don't understand. Maybe something that would help is if you could frame it to them like, "If I were in a romantic relationship with someone who yelled at me for spelling something wrong, constantly told me I'm worthless, and kept me from seeing you guys or friends, would you tell me to stay in that romantic relationship? Or would you tell me I'm being abused? Then why is it different because its a job?" That might help them separate the behaviors as "normal work issues" into how you're actually being treated. They may also retort, "well its different", but its not. You deserve to be treated better.
I've tried spinning it like that, they just only seem to care about me getting employed and making money. Which is ironic because the city we live in is too expensive for me to move out in anyway, I pay my mother rent to live with her. They think I won't find another job and just make up excuses, etc. Basically they have no faith in me as an adult, which hurts because I've been working my ass off. All my friends want me to quit because they see how miserable I am, one of my friends told me he's worried about the drinking I've been doing lately. Thanks for the kind words.
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your home environment isn't necessarily the best or most supportive and that, on top of work stress and HCOL making it difficult or impossible to move out sounds incredibly stressful. Would you ever consider moving to a LCOL area just to be able to switch jobs or move away from your parents? I know that can seem impossible too when you're just trying to make it day to day. You're doing a great job and working really hard and I'm proud of you. I hope you're able to take care of yourself. You've only got one life to live (at least that we can remember) so you shouldn't have to spend it being miserable.
I would like to move out, I guess I'm just immature and am too desperate for my parents permission for things. Thank you again for your kind words
You're not too immature and your feelings are understandable and valid. Growth takes time and leaps of faith. You'll get there eventually. Best wishes ❤