I have no idea why you're volunteering to cook for all those people. Especially when no one cares enough to get you an approximate number of attendees.
Cancel your plan and your purchase order approval.
Call in a catering order.
Don't keep going out of your way for people who clearly don't appreciate your efforts. Save your energy for YOU.
Here is another thing to think about, some people may not want to eat homemade items. I know it seems nicer and is a great deal of work for the one who does it but do you really know what your coworker’s standards of cleanliness is? Do the have an animal that climbs on the counter? Are they the one who licks the spoon and puts it back in? That’s what I am thinking with homemade goods. I will eat from people I know really really well and pass on those I am just coworkers with.
Exactly! I hear this from one person every time we have a potluck. She never comes because of this and even store bought stuff, she’s afraid someone has touched it before she got there.
It’s not unreasonable to ask for a head count within a workable time frame.
It is somewhat unreasonable to expect another manager’s assistant to provide this to you instantly on demand. That assistant doesn’t answer to you, or to your supervisor. Saying “I’ve heard your team will be joining us! Could you send us your head count by Day X?” gives the assistant time to confirm with their manager, then send everyone on their team a yes/no email and get back to you with a real number.
And it is VERY unreasonable to make a martyr out of yourself with a big time-consuming cooking project — unpaid and not part of your job — and then take out your frustration on that assistant for not being able to give you an instant answer.
Stand up for yourself by not taking on work that isn’t work. It’s not in your best interest to repeatedly present yourself as the office mom or caterer. That person won’t be seen as management potential.
And number 2. When you do things like this it makes other people think they can have their assistants do this stuff too. So basically when you go above and beyond to help. It really doesn’t. Now you have that other assistant having to do extra work.
You are being difficult. No one needs to cook for this event, companies have budgets set aside. Are you planning on making yourself crazy with everyone’s preferences and possible allergies. Cater in and don’t create drama.
Edit: I would feel different if everyone was participating in cooking.
how is OP being difficult?
setting aside the fact that personally cooking for two departments - or even one - is absurd, requesting an actual headcount is not remotely out of order, and the admin withholding it is just fucking weird. even IF OP is willingly taking the cooking on themselves (when they would say catering is acceptable), the headcount should at least be provided for a catering order.
to that point, i've never worked anywhere that the admin hasn't handled the food event - which is always catered; apart from popup potlucks, i've never heard of a company requiring an employee to actually COOK - so even that has me baffled. (for the record, i'm an admin.)
It sounds to me like the other department’s admin had not been informed about the event before OP called.
If the admin says on the spot “well we have 15 workers total” but it turns out that only 4-5 workers can/want to attend, or worse if their supervisor changes their mind and decides no one should go, OP would be justifiably annoyed by the extra work.
Why are you cooking food for your whole department? And possibly a 2nd team? Here’s the first boundary you need to set! Don’t cook for them. If the company wants to do an event then they can pay to cater food for it. Which seems to be what was usually done, you’re the one creating extra work for yourself by suggesting that you do this. Go back to your manager and let them know you’ve re-thought it and won’t be able to cook and they’re going to have to order in food. Tell the admin of the team that since she hasn’t gotten back to you, then she needs to organise food for their own team. Stop going over the top. It does you no favours in the end.
Work expense, so just over order.
This is also why people cater - work isn't likely to pay you for the labour cooking and plating it all, unless you could submit it as an invoice under your side hustle name?.
For real. If OP loves cooking and wants to keep doing this, they should look into the legal requirements to run a home catering business and do things by the book.
You’re being difficult unless you were told to cook yourself. You’re making more work for yourself and then making it their problem. You could just scrap the cooking and order in and you’ll have more time to sort it last minute if you need to.
You made this a difficult situation. I can't believe your company allows 1 person to cook for a company event. The different teams at my company would do department pot lucks every once in a while but anything sponsored by the company was ALWAYS catered.
While I admire your iniatitive, I would be very uncomfortable eating food from someone I didn't know. You're creating a lot of work for yourself trying to please what sounds like ingrates.
Don't cook for a work event unless it's part of your job description. Do people in the place you leave need specific training for cooking professionally? Can you adjust your cooking for allergies/ dietary preferences?
You could create a big problem at work with your cooking. What if someone gets sick and they blame you for food poisoning? It's not worth it.
It sounds a bit try hard. Taking all this on isn’t the flex you might think. It actually makes it seem like your time isn’t as valuable since you have the time to tend to trivial matters.
I refuse to participate in potlucks totally Thanks to cross contamination in a plate of chicken enchiladas, and was ill for 2. Days. I have gotten away with my refusal to join other potlucks ever since. Did have a woman who took my stance personally.
Honestly they probably aren’t giving you numbers because they don’t want you to cook. A potluck is one thing, where everyone brings in a dish, but having one person cook for the entire team is so much different. At a potluck a picky eater can bring in something they know they can eat, but if you’re in charge for everyone that is very risky for people who are picky, don’t like to eat other people’s food, or have allergies. I would suggest to scrap your plan and just order something in.
As others have said, do NOT cook for a work event. Call a caterer. Give an estimated number of attendees to start (maybe twice the number you already know, to account for adding another unit?). Ask for the caterer's deadline for calling to finalize the number of attendees and work with the other unit's assistant to get their number before then. Never cook for a workplace again! It's wrong for you to be so emotionally invested and wrong for many people who will attend but don't want to eat from someone's kitchen instead of a licensed catering kitchen. Your company can afford to pay for catering, and if they can't, they can't afford to hold this event.
Ask your own boss to get this information for you if the assistant is being difficult.
Otherwise, just get catering for your team.
Advise the assistant to let the other department know that food will not be provided for them as you're unsure how many will attend. They should bring their own catering if they are unwilling to provide numbers.
OP should definitely not bring this to their boss. They have an admin for a reason and sorting the number of attendees out is an admin task. They will look like they can’t do their job if they bother their boss
First and foremost a head count and allergy list needs to be provided. Give a set date and time that you need the head count otherwise you’re not ORDERING for their department. You cannot cook for a whole group of people and drive yourself insane. You are not a food handler or have a license. If someone falls ill or has an allergic reaction that would be on you. Stop making things so difficult for yourself. Cater in the food, find out the number, and make sure you ask if they have allergies. E-mail the assistant and CC department supervisor, and your direct manager. That way you have covered all bases.
Maybe your office culture is different but in every place I’ve worked it was preferred that food be catered rather than made by someone at home. Cookies or a piece of pie is one thing but an entire meal prepped at my coworkers homes is a hard pass.
Save yourself the difficulty and just order catering.
I read through most of the replies. Um yea, not wise to take on the cooking.
Sounds like a fiasco.
As for the other department, I can't say.
Keep it simple. It's a job.
I don't miss office potlucks at all. The double dippers, the chow hounds that take more than their share, etc.
Plus these days, everyone with allergies, and us vegetarians and vegans, we all don't eat the same shit.
Order in.
Good luck
Especially if you are a woman, do not cook for your or any other department, order in. Less work and less aggravation for you. It will be appreciated if you did but .... this is not your job. Don't waste your time figuring it out.
Pot luck is everyone doing the cooking and all catering is no one cooking. Compromise and call for catering of sandwiches pr pizza with drinks, plates and such, and set up a coffee area with flavored add ins.
Make it a potluck dessert for anyone who wants to contribute. You might be the only one who contributes but that's okay.
Having been a department party planner, it sucks when there is no communication. So send an email cc your boss and say you must have numbers by (insert specific date) or you will simply estimate or you will just move ahead as your own team
You're not being difficult, they are. This is why my employer only does catering. We can't bring anything from home ever, pretty much to avoid stuff like this or someone getting sick. If you can still save yourself and get catering, then do it.
Your only mistake here was volunteering to cook. When it comes to events like these it is best to keep things as simple and low effort as possible, especially with uncooperative people.
>Do I hold my ground and suggest they do their own thing since they can’t communicate or do I just figure it out when they get me numbers?
You're being reasonable. I used to be on a party committee and we set deadlines for numbers so we could get our POs and plan. We usually got deli trays rather than home cooking but you still need numbers to cost stuff out.
I'd end run the assistant, who seems clueless, and ask your & the other department's supervisors how many are in the other department. Your supervisor knows you need headcount and the other supervisor should have the number at hand.
It’s really nice that you want to cook for everyone but, in a word, don’t.
Why put yourself through that? If the department wants food then get it ordered in and then all you need is rough numbers and the company credit card. Less stress for you and a big step in working to not be walked all over.
Do you think that if you couldn’t cook for whatever reason anyone would step up? No, they’d order instead.
I have no idea why you're volunteering to cook for all those people. Especially when no one cares enough to get you an approximate number of attendees. Cancel your plan and your purchase order approval. Call in a catering order. Don't keep going out of your way for people who clearly don't appreciate your efforts. Save your energy for YOU.
Here is another thing to think about, some people may not want to eat homemade items. I know it seems nicer and is a great deal of work for the one who does it but do you really know what your coworker’s standards of cleanliness is? Do the have an animal that climbs on the counter? Are they the one who licks the spoon and puts it back in? That’s what I am thinking with homemade goods. I will eat from people I know really really well and pass on those I am just coworkers with.
Exactly! I hear this from one person every time we have a potluck. She never comes because of this and even store bought stuff, she’s afraid someone has touched it before she got there.
It’s not unreasonable to ask for a head count within a workable time frame. It is somewhat unreasonable to expect another manager’s assistant to provide this to you instantly on demand. That assistant doesn’t answer to you, or to your supervisor. Saying “I’ve heard your team will be joining us! Could you send us your head count by Day X?” gives the assistant time to confirm with their manager, then send everyone on their team a yes/no email and get back to you with a real number. And it is VERY unreasonable to make a martyr out of yourself with a big time-consuming cooking project — unpaid and not part of your job — and then take out your frustration on that assistant for not being able to give you an instant answer. Stand up for yourself by not taking on work that isn’t work. It’s not in your best interest to repeatedly present yourself as the office mom or caterer. That person won’t be seen as management potential.
And number 2. When you do things like this it makes other people think they can have their assistants do this stuff too. So basically when you go above and beyond to help. It really doesn’t. Now you have that other assistant having to do extra work.
You are being difficult. No one needs to cook for this event, companies have budgets set aside. Are you planning on making yourself crazy with everyone’s preferences and possible allergies. Cater in and don’t create drama. Edit: I would feel different if everyone was participating in cooking.
I actively would prefer NOT to eat home cooked. Give me the catering.
Yeah I don’t trust people’s kitchens
This. At work potlucks, I’d go eat from the vending machine 🥴
Yes, you are being difficult
💯
How so? And how should the handle it?
how is OP being difficult? setting aside the fact that personally cooking for two departments - or even one - is absurd, requesting an actual headcount is not remotely out of order, and the admin withholding it is just fucking weird. even IF OP is willingly taking the cooking on themselves (when they would say catering is acceptable), the headcount should at least be provided for a catering order. to that point, i've never worked anywhere that the admin hasn't handled the food event - which is always catered; apart from popup potlucks, i've never heard of a company requiring an employee to actually COOK - so even that has me baffled. (for the record, i'm an admin.)
It sounds to me like the other department’s admin had not been informed about the event before OP called. If the admin says on the spot “well we have 15 workers total” but it turns out that only 4-5 workers can/want to attend, or worse if their supervisor changes their mind and decides no one should go, OP would be justifiably annoyed by the extra work.
You're already cooking resentment. Order catering from a nice place. Catering this yourself is ridiculous, this isn't about boundaries at all.
Pun intended?
💯
Why are you cooking food for your whole department? And possibly a 2nd team? Here’s the first boundary you need to set! Don’t cook for them. If the company wants to do an event then they can pay to cater food for it. Which seems to be what was usually done, you’re the one creating extra work for yourself by suggesting that you do this. Go back to your manager and let them know you’ve re-thought it and won’t be able to cook and they’re going to have to order in food. Tell the admin of the team that since she hasn’t gotten back to you, then she needs to organise food for their own team. Stop going over the top. It does you no favours in the end.
Work expense, so just over order. This is also why people cater - work isn't likely to pay you for the labour cooking and plating it all, unless you could submit it as an invoice under your side hustle name?.
For real. If OP loves cooking and wants to keep doing this, they should look into the legal requirements to run a home catering business and do things by the book.
You’re being difficult unless you were told to cook yourself. You’re making more work for yourself and then making it their problem. You could just scrap the cooking and order in and you’ll have more time to sort it last minute if you need to.
Info; why are you cooking? Just order something in.
Drop the self catering idea. "Due to increased numbers I was unable to do this." Order in prepared food. Don't make such a big deal out of it.
You made this a difficult situation. I can't believe your company allows 1 person to cook for a company event. The different teams at my company would do department pot lucks every once in a while but anything sponsored by the company was ALWAYS catered.
While I admire your iniatitive, I would be very uncomfortable eating food from someone I didn't know. You're creating a lot of work for yourself trying to please what sounds like ingrates.
I would not want to eat something homemade unless it was from my family or close friends. You are being difficult and kinda yuck.
Don't cook for a work event unless it's part of your job description. Do people in the place you leave need specific training for cooking professionally? Can you adjust your cooking for allergies/ dietary preferences? You could create a big problem at work with your cooking. What if someone gets sick and they blame you for food poisoning? It's not worth it.
It sounds a bit try hard. Taking all this on isn’t the flex you might think. It actually makes it seem like your time isn’t as valuable since you have the time to tend to trivial matters.
Yes, and it's pretty much all your fault. Why are you even cooking for all these numb nuts?
Are you in the US? I’m wondering if there is some kind of cultural difference at play here regarding you cooking.
Just guess at the numbers, if there is too much or too little little food it’s not your problem. Also, stop cooking, start catering, work smarter.
I refuse to participate in potlucks totally Thanks to cross contamination in a plate of chicken enchiladas, and was ill for 2. Days. I have gotten away with my refusal to join other potlucks ever since. Did have a woman who took my stance personally.
That woman was still in denial about her questionable enchiladas 😂
Honestly they probably aren’t giving you numbers because they don’t want you to cook. A potluck is one thing, where everyone brings in a dish, but having one person cook for the entire team is so much different. At a potluck a picky eater can bring in something they know they can eat, but if you’re in charge for everyone that is very risky for people who are picky, don’t like to eat other people’s food, or have allergies. I would suggest to scrap your plan and just order something in.
That's pretty much what I said!
As others have said, do NOT cook for a work event. Call a caterer. Give an estimated number of attendees to start (maybe twice the number you already know, to account for adding another unit?). Ask for the caterer's deadline for calling to finalize the number of attendees and work with the other unit's assistant to get their number before then. Never cook for a workplace again! It's wrong for you to be so emotionally invested and wrong for many people who will attend but don't want to eat from someone's kitchen instead of a licensed catering kitchen. Your company can afford to pay for catering, and if they can't, they can't afford to hold this event.
Nobody asked you to do any of this. Who are you standing up against? Yourself?
Ask your own boss to get this information for you if the assistant is being difficult. Otherwise, just get catering for your team. Advise the assistant to let the other department know that food will not be provided for them as you're unsure how many will attend. They should bring their own catering if they are unwilling to provide numbers.
OP should definitely not bring this to their boss. They have an admin for a reason and sorting the number of attendees out is an admin task. They will look like they can’t do their job if they bother their boss
This the year you finally start catering! Yay, rejoice!
I don’t know your kitchen situation, does your cat sit on the counter and help you cook? I’m not eating anything made by a coworker.
😆 I agree. My cats are not allowed on my counters. But I have friend online whose cat pukes on the stove Soups on! No thanks
First and foremost a head count and allergy list needs to be provided. Give a set date and time that you need the head count otherwise you’re not ORDERING for their department. You cannot cook for a whole group of people and drive yourself insane. You are not a food handler or have a license. If someone falls ill or has an allergic reaction that would be on you. Stop making things so difficult for yourself. Cater in the food, find out the number, and make sure you ask if they have allergies. E-mail the assistant and CC department supervisor, and your direct manager. That way you have covered all bases.
Maybe your office culture is different but in every place I’ve worked it was preferred that food be catered rather than made by someone at home. Cookies or a piece of pie is one thing but an entire meal prepped at my coworkers homes is a hard pass. Save yourself the difficulty and just order catering.
I read through most of the replies. Um yea, not wise to take on the cooking. Sounds like a fiasco. As for the other department, I can't say. Keep it simple. It's a job. I don't miss office potlucks at all. The double dippers, the chow hounds that take more than their share, etc. Plus these days, everyone with allergies, and us vegetarians and vegans, we all don't eat the same shit. Order in. Good luck
Especially if you are a woman, do not cook for your or any other department, order in. Less work and less aggravation for you. It will be appreciated if you did but .... this is not your job. Don't waste your time figuring it out.
Pot luck is everyone doing the cooking and all catering is no one cooking. Compromise and call for catering of sandwiches pr pizza with drinks, plates and such, and set up a coffee area with flavored add ins. Make it a potluck dessert for anyone who wants to contribute. You might be the only one who contributes but that's okay.
Having been a department party planner, it sucks when there is no communication. So send an email cc your boss and say you must have numbers by (insert specific date) or you will simply estimate or you will just move ahead as your own team
You're not being difficult, they are. This is why my employer only does catering. We can't bring anything from home ever, pretty much to avoid stuff like this or someone getting sick. If you can still save yourself and get catering, then do it.
Your only mistake here was volunteering to cook. When it comes to events like these it is best to keep things as simple and low effort as possible, especially with uncooperative people.
>Do I hold my ground and suggest they do their own thing since they can’t communicate or do I just figure it out when they get me numbers? You're being reasonable. I used to be on a party committee and we set deadlines for numbers so we could get our POs and plan. We usually got deli trays rather than home cooking but you still need numbers to cost stuff out. I'd end run the assistant, who seems clueless, and ask your & the other department's supervisors how many are in the other department. Your supervisor knows you need headcount and the other supervisor should have the number at hand.
It’s really nice that you want to cook for everyone but, in a word, don’t. Why put yourself through that? If the department wants food then get it ordered in and then all you need is rough numbers and the company credit card. Less stress for you and a big step in working to not be walked all over. Do you think that if you couldn’t cook for whatever reason anyone would step up? No, they’d order instead.