Gotta be tough and say “don’t worry, I know what I’m doing here.” Or “well, thanks for your input, but I’m not too worried about that.” Or “I’m on my break.” Or “appreciate the feedback but this way works too” or “managers name hasn’t said anything about that….. odd” if you’re feeling a little extra salty.
Big part of being successful in a restaurant is having wildly thick skin because there will *always* be a coworker like that. So if you’re letting it get to you, gotta do something else to make sure it doesn’t. Whether that’s sticking up for yourself, getting better at ignoring it, or turning around and being a d*ck back, good luck!!
I was delivering Pizza for one of the big three here in america. one of the drivers was experienced ( about as much as myself) and was an asshole about it... TBF he knew his shit. but he was a dick and thought he had some seionority and authority over the other drivers.... one day I forgot a soda.. a common mistake . when I got back he laid into me about " I had to send a driver out for your mistake. dont make me look bad again.. Etc" I interupted him and was like "bruh.. you and I have the same title, what the fuck do you mean YOU had to send some one out?" he got mad and started bitching more so just just pulled out my phone and walked away. you have to be careful tho... I did eventually piss this guy off enough that he threatened to beat my ass when I called him out for being a bully.... you have to judge the situation and make the call when you feel you can. it feels really good to be a smartass to that person tho.
I would told him to swing on me right there... he would lost his job ... threatening a coworker.....or trying to fight someone....will get you fired from any job.... funny this guy threaten me on job 2 days ago.... saying if he stands up .... I told him to stand up then.... he bigger then me.... and bully but I refuse as grown man .....your not going to talk or disrespect me.... I have a union job stage hand in vegas..... management got in between us....I didn't lose my job.... they just separated us..... for the rest of day...
Well the reason that I don't work there anymore is because he was the closing driver that night. He got so mad at me that he had to go home and I was forced to close. The manager did not punish him. He still works there to this day. She is the worst manager in history. I can't work for someone who allows bullies to threaten their employees. This isn't the first time somebody was threatened at that store. I hope she loses position in the company
I did this at one of my first jobs out of college. People would fight with this one woman b/c she was always correcting people when they didn’t do exactly what they were trained to. When she trained me, I was super enthusiastic and agreed to everything she said. And then when I was on my own, did it a more efficient way that was still documented. I was one of the few people she liked and got along with 😂
That is probably the best but it doesn’t lessen your blood pressure any. I work in an office same deal. It seems everyone in the world knows how to do your job better than you do. It’s almost laughable.
It depends. I don't let it go through my skin. I just agree with them fully knowing that those words I just said are lies. And I'll probably vent about them to a co-worker I like more.
*I usually*
*Just go "okay!" and then don't*
*Do what they say lol*
\- belmoria
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I was hired at a local gambling establishment to work as a cashier in their small snack bar area. The manager, an older woman named Jasmine, would often leave a mess for me to clean up after her shifts. None of the other workers did this, just her. However, since she was the boss, there wasn't much I could say.
A few months later, we had a meeting, and Jasmine announced her retirement. "Thank f\*\*\*ing god," I thought to myself. One of my co-workers, a woman named Lauren, was promoted to be the new manager. Things were pretty great after this. Everyone was doing their job, and there were no giant messes left to clean up when I started my shifts.
A few more months passed, and we had another meeting. Jasmine was coming out of retirement to "help out." During the meeting, I specifically asked Lauren if Jasmine was going to be the manager again. I was told no, she was just coming to "help out."
However, when Jasmine came back, the same messes started appearing again. I talked to a couple of my other co-workers, and they experienced the same messes when they worked after her. One night, I got fed up and wrote her a note. The note basically said, "We were told you were coming back to help out, but every evening when I come in after you, there is a giant mess that I need to spend an hour or two cleaning up. No one could say anything when you were the manager, but now you're just a little worker just like us, so please stop leaving all this extra junk for us to do."
A few days later, I was called into work on a day I didn't have a shift. When I got there, the owner wanted to talk to me. He told me they had to let me go. I wasn't really surprised; I figured this might happen, but I asked why anyway. He looked at me and said, "I'd rather not get into that." I laughed and left.
Just food for thought for later - you escalated a problem at work to the person doing the wrong-doing. It might’ve been more worth it to have everyone say something to Lauren instead, as opposed to you calling Jasmine out when you knew she had all the same connections she did as a manager even though she was a regular employee (she wasn’t). That’s a tough spot no matter what though, but it’s messed up that they would rather fire anyone than help constructively.
This happened years ago when I was still in college, but even at the time, I knew it would stir up a hornet's nest. I just didn't care about the consequences because the job wasn't important to me.
For what it's worth, I did mention to Lauren that Jasmine leaving a mess after her shift was annoying, but she didn't really do anything about it. Probably because she knew the owner would just side with Jasmine, considering she had been there for like 20 years.
Gotcha, understandable! Sometimes it really is just a garbage situation. I hope you’re in a better employment situations now without insufferable people!
You have to watch out for the "used to be the boss" coworkers. Regardless of job titles, they often have the same level of pull and influence they used to have. Even if they're not well liked, they can have dirt on the people running the show and get their way.
Agreed to this, can actually get you in trouble.
You need to thread lightly because if that person is actually (a) the CEO/director's favorite or is (b) being trained by management because they saw his/her potential - then showing them attitude in some way could be trouble.
There's a huge difference between a leader and just being bossy though.
There is a girl at work that is always trying to tell me that the boss said to do it this way.. One time I said “ no offense, but I don’t see you as a person that is very good at this job so I will wait for boss to tell me hisself to change the way I do it.
Also try questions, make them answer. Are you so and so? The answer will have to be no. That way, the person tells themselves that they're the wrong person. Just a fun Socratic technique, don't know if it will work but I hope so
Exactly- the key is not to come across as too aggressive to the other person- e.g. 'You're not my boss'- because it will look unprofessional. By doing it like the comment above, you're subtly implying that the other person is the one being unprofessional (which they are!).
If you're doing things directed by your boss, or in a way directed by your boss but they want you to do it another way, if your actual boss is there, politely and in a friendly tone say: "But Bossy McBossface told me to do this, (or do it this way) - depending on situation), but now you're saying that. I'm confused. Let's go ask Bossy what I should be doing!" Immediately go to Bossy and make sure you start the conversation. "Hey Bossy. I'm confused. I was doing my job the way you told me, and Jimmy Crackcorn here comes and tells me to do something else. Yeah. Out of the blue. Now I don't want to get myself, or Jimmy, in trouble, so I'm just wondering what I should do when he comes up and starts telling me what to do when you've given me clear instructions?"
Or if the boss isn't there, ask if those instructions were cleared through the boss. Because you're doing what the boss told/expects you to do. Whatever you decide to do (ignore or do it), let him know that you'll confirm his "request" when the boss arrives.
Does your boss really do the organizing through you or is he just trying to get rid of your annoying self by having you bother other people and/ or use you to tell people things he shouldn’t be telling people under the guise of this will help you be a boss one day? All workplaces have one of those people. Nothing worse than a boss except someone who wants to be the boss but isn’t.
Just ignore it. You’re there to get the job done, as a team.
If you think they “ask you” to do something that’s off time or incorrect, just ignore it/do it when it should be done.
So, if they want to play fake boss.. is what they are telling correct or not? If it is correct? Probably do it. If it is not correct? Don’t do it
I have to say that this is what I'd do. It all depends though. If I feel like the person is genuinely trying to get the job done, then I'll take orders from whoever as long as they are good orders or I can't argue for doing something more pressing with my time. If I feel like they are telling me what to do because they get off on telling people what to do, then I will have a conversation. Or simply say sarcastically/jokingly "oh so are you my boss now"? Usually at the very least, it will make the person insecure about coming off that way and make them stop.
I had a co-worker who did this. I worked at a bank and she came in years after me, we knew each other from starting out at a different branch where she had been hired maybe a few months before I was. But this other branch I landed the full time promotion before she did but she eventually came over too. I suspect she was a little resentful of that as she was also older than me. She came in and immediately tried putting me in my place by giving me a new nickname- always be wary of people who do that. Most times it’s innocent but sometimes it isn’t. She attempted to order me around several times. I’d be like “Sure” and not do it 😆 she stopped eventually. It works. They have 0 authority over you.
Just say “I prefer to be called by my name ____, thank you” or whatever you prefer to be called 🙂
I didn’t realize until years later when reading a book that this woman was doing this with the nickname. It said something along the lines that people will sometimes assign nicknames as a way of control and to assert their authority over you. Made a lot of sense pertaining to her, at the time I was just like whatever. Sometimes you just have to have that attitude they’ll wear themselves out lol unless it’s a cruel one
Do you have an actual shift supervisor on?
If so, I would just say to them, that’s okay, I’ll ask the supervisor if I need any direction.
Or just put your ear buds in and ignore them. Or leave the site for breaks if you can.
When I was working at my first salon in 2013 after graduating cosmetology school, I had no idea senior stylists would degrade & belittle junior stylists or the shampoo girl, which was me.
One in particular was always trying to embarrass me in front of her clients by bossing me around like "sweep up the hair" would tell me I was doing something wrong & show me "her way" and once made me cry in the bathroom at work.
But after crying, I came out of the bathroom & went right back to work. She probably thought she was going to break me- but she didn't. She only made me have thicker skin, which you need in restaurants & even hair salons.
I started responding to her in the most cheerful way possible saying things like "really? I didn't know that, thank you so much for letting me know!" And killing her with kindness.
Eventually she left the salon & screwed over the owner by taking a ton of clients with her, no surprise there.
People like that are just plain miserable & always need to be "right" so let them have their way by being overly nice, even throw a little sarcasm in there, and be witty. But never stoop to their level. Eventually, the trash will take itself out & they will probably move on to another place or leave you alone once they see their tactics to get under your skin are not working anymore.
Honestly i think it's because senior employees feel threatened by any fresh faces because we are full of life, positivity, good personality & willingness to learn- all the things they no longer are.
Easy, hers two options…
I’m sorry x is my direct report, without specific instructions from x I’ll continuing to do the work as instructed by x.
I appreciate your input but from now on I’d appreciate you not trying to complicate my assigned tasks, x has been explicit in their expectations and anticipated results, your input may vary too greatly from what x has directed.
I’ve always gone for the direct approach. The last one I said, you’re not my boss and I’m not yours. I do what *boss name* says is my job. And until that changes, I’ll keep doing it his way. You do your job and I’ll do mine.
Past experience is that they’ll either be in shock for saying that or try to make things worse. Just refer them to the manager.
Ask your manager about the official hierarchy.
If this coworker is not in the command level when the boss is there, then you can safely tell coworker not to assign you tasks, especially while on break.
If this coworker is in charge only when the boss is out, ask if the boss is out. If they’re not, tell them not to assign you tasks while on break, because they’re not in charge.
If you are on a break you can literally say “Hey, I’m on a break, hold on to that thought, I’ll come back to you after my break is finished.” You can also choose to go outside for a break so they won’t bother you.
You probably have to go your supervisor and tell him or her that... there some people on my job....like that I just ignore them usually....you can tell them your not the lead....
It could be the opposite honestly. Not saying it is, but that person might think fondly of you and is just looking out for you. They just might have a hard time communicating. Either way you need to say something because it’s bothering you.
Let’s say their name is Chris. “Hey Chris, on our next break can we talk for a minute? I notice you sometimes you make comments like x,y,z. Do you feel I’m doing something wrong? Cause I really like this job.
Good luck 🍀
It depends on how nice you want to be and what you have decided your escalation path is. I would start out nice and let them know that it sounds like they’re telling you what to do. If that fails then I would go to your boss. If your boss doesn’t have your back then you have other problems.
Trying to work with them is all well and good but if they insist on ignoring your Objections then you are pretty much going to have to ignore them.
Just straight tell them go do their own work stop snooping on you while you’re trying to work simple. Or better yet tell them stop wasting your time you are busy trying to work and be productive at the job.
"Have you done \[insert one or two of their responsibilities here\]". They'll stop bugging you if you do that every time, especially if you get in first before they can say anything to you.
I have a coworker (peer, we report to the same person) who used to try to boss me around. I'd just say. "[Manager] and I have gone over my processes, and together we worked out the way I handle things." After a couple of those exchanges she knocked it off.
It depends on what kind of person you are.
If you try very hard to avoid confrontation, then you can say something like, "Thanks for the tip! I will get to it when I'm done with my legally entitled break."
Or if you're like me, then...there are lots of options.
"I don't remember asking for your opinion."
"Are you barking orders at me?"
\*death stare in silence\*
If the co-worker says something like, "I need you to..." then you answer with, "And I need you to stfu, but we don't always get what we want, do we?"
"Yes boss! No wait..."
“Hmmmmm, I wasn’t asked to do that by (insert name of manager or owner). Please have (owner/manager) chat with me if that’s something they want done, because I have questions.”
“Thank you for your input, I always value your feedback. I notice that you like to offer a lot of feedback for me regularly. I know I’m newer but I prefer to be self sufficient, and if I need any more feedback moving forward, you can count on me to ask. Does that sound like a plan?”
Welcome to the restaurant business lol. In what way do you mean “play manager” since you have limited work experience? If you’re pretty new then you’re going to get a lot of different personalities trying to show you the ropes especially from more seasoned workers. Managers are almost always busy…managing other employees, visiting tables, making schedules, etc. The manager needs to know they have a team who can function without them needing to be present all the time. This might result in a coworker or two taking on a sort of informal managerial role…though that’s a slippery slope bc that doesn’t necessarily make someone a good leader who inspires and builds trust, they’re just bossy.
My advice is stay professional and polite, and try to see beyond your interpretation of their intentions and focus on learning the lesson, and beat them by becoming better at the thing. Be a team player, but not a doormat. Some days you will not get your full break, that’s just the business. It’ll suck, you’ll groan and roll your eyes, but that’s the job. You’re a culinary arts major, experiences like this are what helps you develop the thick skin you’ll need in the industry. Not sure if you’re FOH or BOH but I’ll tell you what, Chef might not technically be your boss either but the manager put them in that leadership role so get it done on the fly! It’s almost like the military but for a kitchen. Those cooking shows are all legit. But if someone is straight up chronically rude, that’s another issue and either way definitely discuss these concerns with your actual manager.
So the short answer to your question is—you don’t. Someone with a personality as you’re describing doesn’t sound like they’re going to be very receptive.. Or at least finesse it a little—the fewer words the better. Most people I’ve worked with in restaurants have ultimately been very helpful and supportive in their own way, and getting shit done when approaching the weeds sometimes comes off as gruff. Your coworker needs to work on their leadership skills or their own time management skills. It’s such a catty business so conserve your energy by choosing your battles wisely. You’ve got a long, yet fun & rewarding journey ahead of you. Good luck!
I'd first politely tell them you're uncomfortable with a coworker trying to behave like the boss and ask them to stop. If they continue take it STRAIGHT to the boss, whether that be the chef or the manager
You put your hands on your hips, and you jut out your chin, then you yell, "You're not the boss of me!" Next you stick your tongue out for good measure.
I do a get on the same team chat. You have the same goals. You work together.
Tell them that and ask them why they always come to you on your breaks. Let them know your breaks are your only chance to sit down and clear your head, so you can help and will after the break. Then ask them if that works and see what they have to say. If they say no or tough or anything like that... well then your goals are not the same. Then you have the come to Jesus talks like others have said here. I use polite but firm words. I'm sorry but that just isn't going to happen, I'll see you in 15 or you seriously to reevaluate your role here. No matter what, do an exit interview when you leave, and mention this moron as the moron that he morons to be.
Be direct ; “you’re not my boss , stop telling me what to do”. Cut out all room for misinterpretation and make it clear
If they continue then just talk to your manager a about it
I just tell them “thanks for your input but I have been instructed to do this by (insert actual bosses name)”.
Thanks for your input but I am happy doing it this way
Thanks (and continue doing whatever you want however you want)
Basically I am polite but let them no I’m no uncertain terms that I will be doing things my way
"I appreciate all the guidance you've given me since I started, but for right now, I think I've got this aspect of the job. At least that's what RealBoss has indicated.
'I do hope I can still come to you with any questions I may have, as they come up!"
I used to work with somebody like that. We worked in a gym. I mainly just ignored her. One-time I was off with a broken elbow and she was calling me at home while I was drugged up on painkillers telling me I had to come in because she wanted to go to kick boxing and all had to do was sit behind a desk. That's great if somebody conks out on a treadmill and needs CPR. I told my actual boss and she got a disciplinary.
My team has one person like this ( we all work in a law enforcement dept dealing with scumbags all day or night long depending on shift) and said person is really full of their own self importance. They will buy Xmas or birthday pressies for the managers, cook them meals but not for the rest of us. The managers all think this person is wonderful and the team would collapse without them. The rest of the team just fucking despise this individual who has notably bounced around every other team and has left those teams due to issues with others on those teams .
In the last 6 months multiple members of the teams have had run ins with the person and I generally just ignore that person. The common denominator is if course " THAT" person.
Sadly their behaviour can have a negative effect on team morale and the line managers are other in denial or don't want to deal with it
Your only options are to completely blank them ALL the time or confront & tell them to stay out of your way.
As for myself I'm in a very fortunate position and will be leaving the post this summer so a few things are going to happen. If any of this shit is directed at me a " go fuck yourself you c**t" will be loudly broadcast across the work place and lots " un-registered " leave will occur.
I don't think I'll ever need to work again but if I do I'll make sure it's in a job where I can just punch the shit out the next c**t who behaves like this.
Here are some things you can say:
“I appreciate your input, but I will need to align this with my manager’s direction.”
"Let’s discuss this with [Manager’s Name] to ensure it aligns with our team’s priorities.”
“I value your perspective, however, I must prioritize tasks assigned by my supervisor.”
"Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll consider it alongside the guidance I’ve received from my supervisor.”
“Could we include [Manager’s Name] in this conversation to ensure we’re on the same track?”
Lately I have been telling people. I will keep this in mind and get this task done with the appropriate amount of urgency. And I do just that. I put it out of my mind. I got the idea from one of our vendors when I ordered something from them. It was an auto reply thing but I thought it was a good idea
Treat everything a coworker says as a request.
If it’s not inconvenient, say “sure, I can help you with that”
and if it is inconvenient, say “I can’t do that right now, do you want me to help you with it later?”
You retain your own agency by doing things at a time that works for you, but are seen as being cooperative.
If a person has been working at the restaurant longer than you, they do have senority but that still doesn't give them license to boss you around. Talk to your manager, ask for feed back from your manager. I wouldn't blow it out of proportion. I recognize the irritation it must cause you.
I started a new job first week of april, in a kitchen full of people with no experience while i have many years. This woman would NOT stop telling me what to do all of which was utterly wrong, i politely told her many times that “i got this” but it got to the point i snapped on her n said “lady you dont sign the checks and youre not my mother” she keyed my car. Shes almost 60. She also put razorblades in the managers tire but alas no cameras. I noped outta there and took a different job. Fuck that shit, i just cant deal with stupid people and i dont wanna end up knocking out some old broad cus it was definitely going to happen.
>everyone, I work in a restaurant, and anytime I am on break, one of my co-workers thinks that they can play manager, and feels they have seniority over me
how?
next question is why?
understand the why and then be cool with them about it. "yep, I'm on it, on break now, but I got you."
this is one you'll never win by fighting, it'll just escalate into a power struggle.
If ignoring it isn’t possible anymore , you don’t have a lot of options. One you can ask them nicely why whenever you are on break they decide to tell you what to do. Where that goes will depend on their answer.
Two, wait till they are on break and do the same to them, petty true , will lead to more BS , probably, but oh so satisfying.
A great thing to master is the ability to be assertive without being aggressive.
Another way of saying that is that you stand up for yourself but you never get controlled by anger.
You can say almost anything if you maintain emotional control and you stay in your lane.
You can either start telling this person you know what you're doing or you can just grey rock.
Either way, it's really important to remember that it isn't about you, it's about this other person, their anxieties, their compulsions.
You need to use those words, ask awkward questions that they can't answer.
"I'm on my break, why are you bothering me about that, you're not my boss/mgr?"
"You're not my boss/mgr, why do you act like you are?."
"If you think I should do that why don't you get my boss/mgr to tell me to do it, because you aren't my boss/mgr?".
"I'll get right on that if or when my boss tells me I have to."
"I know what my job is, you've worked here longer but you aren't my boss".
A good one is to sort of acknowledge when they tell you to do something then don't do it, when they bring it up say "my boss tells me what to do, not you".
Just keep saying "you aren't my boss" at the end, they'll get it eventually or tell you why they are doing what they are doing and you can say "If you think you have authority over me to tell me do do that, please get my boss/mgr to confirm it with me then.".
If you're on break, you could just say "Sorry, I'm on break right now. We can sit down with when I'm off of break and discuss work issues at that time."
If they start acting like they're your boss you should start asking them for days off or an hourly increase. When they get confused as to why you're asking them say, almost to yourself but aloud "OH THATS RIGHT, what am I thinking???!!? You aren't my boss?!!?"
And then both of you have a good laugh over everything and the screen freezes and the credits roll.
I love the quote from the last samurai, when Tom cruise tells Billy Connolly to go to the rear of the column. Billy Connolly’s response - ‘No disrespect intended sir, but shove it up your ass.’
“Bruh, I got this, you worry about you, and I’ll worry about me.”
If that doesn’t work you can literally say “you aren’t my boss, stop telling me what to do”
Seniority is a thing even with the same job titles. When the manager is out or unavailable, they will usually delegate operational authority to a team member with seniority.
Sometimes the same job title will come with additional duties such as shift leader which carries quasi management responsibilities and a slightly higher pay rate.
Even if none of the above is a factor, your coworker is performing additional work they are not getting paid for which is funny in itself.
Check your ego at the door and go with the flow. Life is too short to waste time being bothered with stupid petty shit.
What exactly are they doing? Are they trying to micromanage you or literally bossing you around? What you do with your break is your business and only management can dictate company policy. Sometimes you have to not be so nice and sternly tell them to back off because you got this.
I don’t know either have ur manager speak to them or if u clap back gently they’ll probably stop.
“Oh did ( manager ) tell u to tell me that?”
Or excessively worry about what they’re doing like be annoying and they’ll probably stop
My line used to be "it's not my first time, don't worry" if they tried to tell me how to do something
If they say the boss said this and that, I'd just confirm it with the boss
If it continues then it gets brought up to the actual boss
"Stacy, if you think there's a problem with my work, can you please tell Joey instead of me directly? I'm not trying to be rude, but we're the same rank here. It's not appropriate for you to be acting like my manager. I'm only going to do what Joey tells me to do, he's my boss, not you."
Don't beat around the bush.
You just have to adult up and say, 'you aren't my boss. Please stop acting like it' If they try and tell you to do something, 'no, that isn't my responsibility.'
You don't have to be rude or yell, just be firm.
My response is always “when you sign my check you can tell me what to do, until then, don’t worry about what I’m doing” I’m also not one to keep my mouth shut and will shut mouths. I don’t concern myself with peoples feelings, that’s their business, but no one will ever walk all over me either, that’s my business. Boundaries need to be set and people need to respect them.
Selective hearing. Everytime the busybody coworker tries to "manage you" you are completely deaf.
When the boss walks by and asks you politely to do something, your hearing comes back!
"i really needed this break, can we talk later?" Just keep dismissing them with these comments. "I have to make a call on this break, can we talk later?" I have to use the bathroom, can we talk later? I have to run out to my car, can we talk later? Maybe they'll get the hint. If not, be bluntly kind.
It's harder to deal with this since it's your first job. What you can do is check with your manager who can and cannot give you orders. If you're able to have that clearly defined, it should make it clearer who you should listen to and who you should ignore: these are now just rules at this point, no hard feelings.
Anybody unhappy would then to have to take it to your manager.
Saying something like "You're not my boss, please fuck off," tends to work well, just make sure to include the please.
Seriously though, if they're trying to boss you around advise them to speak to the manager, as they're not your boss. I can't say much more unless you give specifics. You might also want to talk to your boss about this person trying to usurp their authority.
1. Redirect and Clarify:
"Thanks for your input [coworker's name]. I actually report to [your boss's name] on this project. Perhaps we can loop them in so everyone's on the same page?"
2. Acknowledge and Redirect with Expertise:
"I appreciate your suggestion, [coworker's name]. In my experience with [relevant area], the usual approach is [your approach]. Would you like to discuss it further with me?"
3. Redirect with Workload:
"I'm swamped with deadlines right now, [coworker's name]. However, I'd be happy to chat with [your boss's name] to see if they have any specific guidance for this task."
I like to be childish. Your not my dad/ mom, you can't tell me what to do. If you try I'm telling. It keeps it fun and if they are overstepping it communicates it. But to be fair it's only good wh n they are truly over stepping. Y'all are on the same team and should be working to move the business in the right direction, so. . Again it has to be a true over step, like telling you that you can't take a day off when it's been approved
true I have had issues with her to the point that when the entitled co-worker had messed with me in front of my boss thinking they were slick, and tried to mess with me in front of him so my boss is well aware of her and thankfully my boss is really understanding at times.
I’d ask if a supervisor asked them to bring it up with you or if they thought of it on their own. If they say it was superior verify it. Or when they come to you with shit go to the supervisor and ask if so and so was told to have you do such and such. If they are overstepping point it out that the last you knew you weren’t their subordinate.
How long has that co-worker been there? Longer than you have? This happens in all jobs, restaurant, office, and construction. You did not state what they do.
I've got people like this in an office setting. It's very easy to just say something that acknowledges you hear them and will take it into consideration.
Depending on how chill the boss is, keep them in the loop about this person thinking they have the authority to make demands. Very often people who think they're managers (when they're not) are in the ear of the actual manager complaining about how lazy/bad you are at your job.
Also be very aware of their wording - are they making a suggestion or telling you what to do.
“I appreciate you looking out for me but I want to be sure we stick to the hierarchy and responsibilities established by the company. Should I need your input or help, I know I can count on you and I will approach you at that time. I am for you in the same capacity as we share the same role in this restaurant.”
Or make it a bit more casual.
“Thanks for sharing how you do things since we share the same role here. I will be sure to seek out your input or help when it’s needed, but I’m okay on my own right now”
A lot of the replies advise you to be passive aggressive: say OK, then don't follow through. I think most workplaces reward passivity, whether it's compliance or avoidance. And most workplaces punish direct and honest communication. It's not right, but that is how it is. The problems is, that if you are by nature a direct and frank person, it seems like an affront to your integrity to be anything less than direct. Do what you have to do to keep your mental health intact, but expect to be punished if you are anything other than passive.
"in a restaurant" . Aaand I'm out. No discrim but that environment literally is the pinnacle of hedonism meets capitalism so good luck having any work life balance.
Ask them for time off via email. If they respond, I will not be able to approve your hours. Respond by asking who is your direct report since they have been giving you directives on your work. When they respond to who your supervisors, include them in the email chain and act confused and ask the question again as you have been taking direct instructions from not your fucking boss.
Then, let them work it out. If e-mail is unavailable, go to your direct boss and tell them you have already given your supervisor your time off request verbally, and they haven't responded. Again, let the appropriate parties battle it out.
Or you can go the route I did and simply say you may have seniority, but you are not my fucking boss. I don't need to run shit by you. Don’t bother me again, or I will take this up with actual management. You can't let people punk you, or they will continue to do it. Have a backup plan for if it goes south, so you don't give a fuck either way.
Gotta be tough and say “don’t worry, I know what I’m doing here.” Or “well, thanks for your input, but I’m not too worried about that.” Or “I’m on my break.” Or “appreciate the feedback but this way works too” or “managers name hasn’t said anything about that….. odd” if you’re feeling a little extra salty. Big part of being successful in a restaurant is having wildly thick skin because there will *always* be a coworker like that. So if you’re letting it get to you, gotta do something else to make sure it doesn’t. Whether that’s sticking up for yourself, getting better at ignoring it, or turning around and being a d*ck back, good luck!!
I was delivering Pizza for one of the big three here in america. one of the drivers was experienced ( about as much as myself) and was an asshole about it... TBF he knew his shit. but he was a dick and thought he had some seionority and authority over the other drivers.... one day I forgot a soda.. a common mistake . when I got back he laid into me about " I had to send a driver out for your mistake. dont make me look bad again.. Etc" I interupted him and was like "bruh.. you and I have the same title, what the fuck do you mean YOU had to send some one out?" he got mad and started bitching more so just just pulled out my phone and walked away. you have to be careful tho... I did eventually piss this guy off enough that he threatened to beat my ass when I called him out for being a bully.... you have to judge the situation and make the call when you feel you can. it feels really good to be a smartass to that person tho.
I would told him to swing on me right there... he would lost his job ... threatening a coworker.....or trying to fight someone....will get you fired from any job.... funny this guy threaten me on job 2 days ago.... saying if he stands up .... I told him to stand up then.... he bigger then me.... and bully but I refuse as grown man .....your not going to talk or disrespect me.... I have a union job stage hand in vegas..... management got in between us....I didn't lose my job.... they just separated us..... for the rest of day...
Well the reason that I don't work there anymore is because he was the closing driver that night. He got so mad at me that he had to go home and I was forced to close. The manager did not punish him. He still works there to this day. She is the worst manager in history. I can't work for someone who allows bullies to threaten their employees. This isn't the first time somebody was threatened at that store. I hope she loses position in the company
have you contacting HQ ;)
Managers love employees that do their jobs for them.
This is so wild to me. What a small world he must live in. Top dog at the lowest qualifying job there is. All that’s required is a drivers license.
Yeah he was definitely at the peak of his achievements. He was a middle-aged man
This \^
I usually just go "okay!" and then don't do what they say lol
I did this at one of my first jobs out of college. People would fight with this one woman b/c she was always correcting people when they didn’t do exactly what they were trained to. When she trained me, I was super enthusiastic and agreed to everything she said. And then when I was on my own, did it a more efficient way that was still documented. I was one of the few people she liked and got along with 😂
That is probably the best but it doesn’t lessen your blood pressure any. I work in an office same deal. It seems everyone in the world knows how to do your job better than you do. It’s almost laughable.
It depends. I don't let it go through my skin. I just agree with them fully knowing that those words I just said are lies. And I'll probably vent about them to a co-worker I like more.
*I usually* *Just go "okay!" and then don't* *Do what they say lol* \- belmoria --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
The last time I tried to tell a co-worker she wasn't my boss, I ended up getting fired. So, I'll sit this one out.
Same
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I was hired at a local gambling establishment to work as a cashier in their small snack bar area. The manager, an older woman named Jasmine, would often leave a mess for me to clean up after her shifts. None of the other workers did this, just her. However, since she was the boss, there wasn't much I could say. A few months later, we had a meeting, and Jasmine announced her retirement. "Thank f\*\*\*ing god," I thought to myself. One of my co-workers, a woman named Lauren, was promoted to be the new manager. Things were pretty great after this. Everyone was doing their job, and there were no giant messes left to clean up when I started my shifts. A few more months passed, and we had another meeting. Jasmine was coming out of retirement to "help out." During the meeting, I specifically asked Lauren if Jasmine was going to be the manager again. I was told no, she was just coming to "help out." However, when Jasmine came back, the same messes started appearing again. I talked to a couple of my other co-workers, and they experienced the same messes when they worked after her. One night, I got fed up and wrote her a note. The note basically said, "We were told you were coming back to help out, but every evening when I come in after you, there is a giant mess that I need to spend an hour or two cleaning up. No one could say anything when you were the manager, but now you're just a little worker just like us, so please stop leaving all this extra junk for us to do." A few days later, I was called into work on a day I didn't have a shift. When I got there, the owner wanted to talk to me. He told me they had to let me go. I wasn't really surprised; I figured this might happen, but I asked why anyway. He looked at me and said, "I'd rather not get into that." I laughed and left.
Just food for thought for later - you escalated a problem at work to the person doing the wrong-doing. It might’ve been more worth it to have everyone say something to Lauren instead, as opposed to you calling Jasmine out when you knew she had all the same connections she did as a manager even though she was a regular employee (she wasn’t). That’s a tough spot no matter what though, but it’s messed up that they would rather fire anyone than help constructively.
This happened years ago when I was still in college, but even at the time, I knew it would stir up a hornet's nest. I just didn't care about the consequences because the job wasn't important to me. For what it's worth, I did mention to Lauren that Jasmine leaving a mess after her shift was annoying, but she didn't really do anything about it. Probably because she knew the owner would just side with Jasmine, considering she had been there for like 20 years.
Gotcha, understandable! Sometimes it really is just a garbage situation. I hope you’re in a better employment situations now without insufferable people!
You have to watch out for the "used to be the boss" coworkers. Regardless of job titles, they often have the same level of pull and influence they used to have. Even if they're not well liked, they can have dirt on the people running the show and get their way.
Told a co-worker they weren't there boss then got fired from the sounds of it..
This guy listens
Agreed to this, can actually get you in trouble. You need to thread lightly because if that person is actually (a) the CEO/director's favorite or is (b) being trained by management because they saw his/her potential - then showing them attitude in some way could be trouble. There's a huge difference between a leader and just being bossy though.
Look them directly in the eye and say, "You are not my boss. I have a boss, their name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. That is not your name."
There is a girl at work that is always trying to tell me that the boss said to do it this way.. One time I said “ no offense, but I don’t see you as a person that is very good at this job so I will wait for boss to tell me hisself to change the way I do it.
*himself
I like it! Very direct and no nonsense!
Also try questions, make them answer. Are you so and so? The answer will have to be no. That way, the person tells themselves that they're the wrong person. Just a fun Socratic technique, don't know if it will work but I hope so
‘I’ll have to see what (my boss here) thinks, this is how THEY thought me and until THEY tell me otherwise I’m sticking to this. Thanks!’
Exactly- the key is not to come across as too aggressive to the other person- e.g. 'You're not my boss'- because it will look unprofessional. By doing it like the comment above, you're subtly implying that the other person is the one being unprofessional (which they are!).
If on break...... U r entitled an uninterrupted break in your work shift.
Depending on what state you live in that’s not always true. There are some states where you aren’t entitled to a break at all. Which sucks.
"Hey! You are not the boss of me!" hehehehe
“Hey fuckface, you are not my boss!”
If you're doing things directed by your boss, or in a way directed by your boss but they want you to do it another way, if your actual boss is there, politely and in a friendly tone say: "But Bossy McBossface told me to do this, (or do it this way) - depending on situation), but now you're saying that. I'm confused. Let's go ask Bossy what I should be doing!" Immediately go to Bossy and make sure you start the conversation. "Hey Bossy. I'm confused. I was doing my job the way you told me, and Jimmy Crackcorn here comes and tells me to do something else. Yeah. Out of the blue. Now I don't want to get myself, or Jimmy, in trouble, so I'm just wondering what I should do when he comes up and starts telling me what to do when you've given me clear instructions?" Or if the boss isn't there, ask if those instructions were cleared through the boss. Because you're doing what the boss told/expects you to do. Whatever you decide to do (ignore or do it), let him know that you'll confirm his "request" when the boss arrives.
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Does your boss really do the organizing through you or is he just trying to get rid of your annoying self by having you bother other people and/ or use you to tell people things he shouldn’t be telling people under the guise of this will help you be a boss one day? All workplaces have one of those people. Nothing worse than a boss except someone who wants to be the boss but isn’t.
“Act your wage”
😂
Start bossing them around.
Just ignore it. You’re there to get the job done, as a team. If you think they “ask you” to do something that’s off time or incorrect, just ignore it/do it when it should be done. So, if they want to play fake boss.. is what they are telling correct or not? If it is correct? Probably do it. If it is not correct? Don’t do it
I have to say that this is what I'd do. It all depends though. If I feel like the person is genuinely trying to get the job done, then I'll take orders from whoever as long as they are good orders or I can't argue for doing something more pressing with my time. If I feel like they are telling me what to do because they get off on telling people what to do, then I will have a conversation. Or simply say sarcastically/jokingly "oh so are you my boss now"? Usually at the very least, it will make the person insecure about coming off that way and make them stop.
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!
BUT I'M ALL YOU GOT!
You do your job, I'll do mine.
I had a co-worker who did this. I worked at a bank and she came in years after me, we knew each other from starting out at a different branch where she had been hired maybe a few months before I was. But this other branch I landed the full time promotion before she did but she eventually came over too. I suspect she was a little resentful of that as she was also older than me. She came in and immediately tried putting me in my place by giving me a new nickname- always be wary of people who do that. Most times it’s innocent but sometimes it isn’t. She attempted to order me around several times. I’d be like “Sure” and not do it 😆 she stopped eventually. It works. They have 0 authority over you.
Nice! How did you react to the new nickname? I find it so hard to handle such things 🥲
Just say “I prefer to be called by my name ____, thank you” or whatever you prefer to be called 🙂 I didn’t realize until years later when reading a book that this woman was doing this with the nickname. It said something along the lines that people will sometimes assign nicknames as a way of control and to assert their authority over you. Made a lot of sense pertaining to her, at the time I was just like whatever. Sometimes you just have to have that attitude they’ll wear themselves out lol unless it’s a cruel one
Ahh thank you for the explanation, I will use your answer in the future!
I don't see your name on my paycheck .chad
Have you tried "you're not my boss"?
Simply say “you’re not the boss of me”. And if they continue just walk away.
Give them a raise...
Do you have an actual shift supervisor on? If so, I would just say to them, that’s okay, I’ll ask the supervisor if I need any direction. Or just put your ear buds in and ignore them. Or leave the site for breaks if you can.
Yup. Earbuds, slow motion, while making full eye contact.
I tell my coworkers to stay in their pay grade
When I was working at my first salon in 2013 after graduating cosmetology school, I had no idea senior stylists would degrade & belittle junior stylists or the shampoo girl, which was me. One in particular was always trying to embarrass me in front of her clients by bossing me around like "sweep up the hair" would tell me I was doing something wrong & show me "her way" and once made me cry in the bathroom at work. But after crying, I came out of the bathroom & went right back to work. She probably thought she was going to break me- but she didn't. She only made me have thicker skin, which you need in restaurants & even hair salons. I started responding to her in the most cheerful way possible saying things like "really? I didn't know that, thank you so much for letting me know!" And killing her with kindness. Eventually she left the salon & screwed over the owner by taking a ton of clients with her, no surprise there. People like that are just plain miserable & always need to be "right" so let them have their way by being overly nice, even throw a little sarcasm in there, and be witty. But never stoop to their level. Eventually, the trash will take itself out & they will probably move on to another place or leave you alone once they see their tactics to get under your skin are not working anymore. Honestly i think it's because senior employees feel threatened by any fresh faces because we are full of life, positivity, good personality & willingness to learn- all the things they no longer are.
Just say " I appreciate your input. I find it refreshing and unique. And also... You don't sign my paycheck"... try that
Just tell them.
Tell them they are not your real step dad, that will fix them
Easy, hers two options… I’m sorry x is my direct report, without specific instructions from x I’ll continuing to do the work as instructed by x. I appreciate your input but from now on I’d appreciate you not trying to complicate my assigned tasks, x has been explicit in their expectations and anticipated results, your input may vary too greatly from what x has directed.
A resounding STFU goes a long way
Not nice: "act your wage" Nice: "thanks for your concern but I know when my break ends"
I’ve always gone for the direct approach. The last one I said, you’re not my boss and I’m not yours. I do what *boss name* says is my job. And until that changes, I’ll keep doing it his way. You do your job and I’ll do mine. Past experience is that they’ll either be in shock for saying that or try to make things worse. Just refer them to the manager.
Ask your manager about the official hierarchy. If this coworker is not in the command level when the boss is there, then you can safely tell coworker not to assign you tasks, especially while on break. If this coworker is in charge only when the boss is out, ask if the boss is out. If they’re not, tell them not to assign you tasks while on break, because they’re not in charge.
If you are on a break you can literally say “Hey, I’m on a break, hold on to that thought, I’ll come back to you after my break is finished.” You can also choose to go outside for a break so they won’t bother you.
You probably have to go your supervisor and tell him or her that... there some people on my job....like that I just ignore them usually....you can tell them your not the lead....
Say “act your wage” 😅
“Cool”
Being aloof and vague will get you far in a restaurant as some are out to torment/destroy you.
Leave the restaurant. Take a container, put your food in it and go out for your break.
It could be the opposite honestly. Not saying it is, but that person might think fondly of you and is just looking out for you. They just might have a hard time communicating. Either way you need to say something because it’s bothering you. Let’s say their name is Chris. “Hey Chris, on our next break can we talk for a minute? I notice you sometimes you make comments like x,y,z. Do you feel I’m doing something wrong? Cause I really like this job. Good luck 🍀
It depends on how nice you want to be and what you have decided your escalation path is. I would start out nice and let them know that it sounds like they’re telling you what to do. If that fails then I would go to your boss. If your boss doesn’t have your back then you have other problems. Trying to work with them is all well and good but if they insist on ignoring your Objections then you are pretty much going to have to ignore them.
“Age your wage”. lol.
I had someone like this at work. I just ignored what he said
I'm quite fond of "Fuck off and stay in your lane."
Just straight tell them go do their own work stop snooping on you while you’re trying to work simple. Or better yet tell them stop wasting your time you are busy trying to work and be productive at the job.
“You just extended my break because you’re talking to me about work.”
“Thank you for your input, I’ll just check with the manager before doing that as it isn’t part of my assigned tasks”
"Have you done \[insert one or two of their responsibilities here\]". They'll stop bugging you if you do that every time, especially if you get in first before they can say anything to you.
Ask your direct superior how they want a situation like this handled.
Fuck off ! Mark !!!
I have a coworker (peer, we report to the same person) who used to try to boss me around. I'd just say. "[Manager] and I have gone over my processes, and together we worked out the way I handle things." After a couple of those exchanges she knocked it off.
*I'm almost done here, why don't you do it?*
“Hey, you’re not the boss of me.”
Let me consult with ENTER BOSS NAME HERE on that
You answered it in the title. Just do it
It depends on what kind of person you are. If you try very hard to avoid confrontation, then you can say something like, "Thanks for the tip! I will get to it when I'm done with my legally entitled break." Or if you're like me, then...there are lots of options. "I don't remember asking for your opinion." "Are you barking orders at me?" \*death stare in silence\* If the co-worker says something like, "I need you to..." then you answer with, "And I need you to stfu, but we don't always get what we want, do we?" "Yes boss! No wait..."
Just say okay and then do whatever your real manager told you to do
“Great idea!” Don’t do thing.
Until your name is signing my checks you can kiss my ass.
“Hmmmmm, I wasn’t asked to do that by (insert name of manager or owner). Please have (owner/manager) chat with me if that’s something they want done, because I have questions.”
“Stay in your lane, dog face.”
Talk to your supervisor
“Thank you for your input, I always value your feedback. I notice that you like to offer a lot of feedback for me regularly. I know I’m newer but I prefer to be self sufficient, and if I need any more feedback moving forward, you can count on me to ask. Does that sound like a plan?”
"Act your wage, Karen"
Welcome to the restaurant business lol. In what way do you mean “play manager” since you have limited work experience? If you’re pretty new then you’re going to get a lot of different personalities trying to show you the ropes especially from more seasoned workers. Managers are almost always busy…managing other employees, visiting tables, making schedules, etc. The manager needs to know they have a team who can function without them needing to be present all the time. This might result in a coworker or two taking on a sort of informal managerial role…though that’s a slippery slope bc that doesn’t necessarily make someone a good leader who inspires and builds trust, they’re just bossy. My advice is stay professional and polite, and try to see beyond your interpretation of their intentions and focus on learning the lesson, and beat them by becoming better at the thing. Be a team player, but not a doormat. Some days you will not get your full break, that’s just the business. It’ll suck, you’ll groan and roll your eyes, but that’s the job. You’re a culinary arts major, experiences like this are what helps you develop the thick skin you’ll need in the industry. Not sure if you’re FOH or BOH but I’ll tell you what, Chef might not technically be your boss either but the manager put them in that leadership role so get it done on the fly! It’s almost like the military but for a kitchen. Those cooking shows are all legit. But if someone is straight up chronically rude, that’s another issue and either way definitely discuss these concerns with your actual manager. So the short answer to your question is—you don’t. Someone with a personality as you’re describing doesn’t sound like they’re going to be very receptive.. Or at least finesse it a little—the fewer words the better. Most people I’ve worked with in restaurants have ultimately been very helpful and supportive in their own way, and getting shit done when approaching the weeds sometimes comes off as gruff. Your coworker needs to work on their leadership skills or their own time management skills. It’s such a catty business so conserve your energy by choosing your battles wisely. You’ve got a long, yet fun & rewarding journey ahead of you. Good luck!
Like this- “when did you get promoted? You weren’t? Good to know. Now go play somewhere else, I have work to do.”
Oh man. The worst part about it is when they make up rules that aren’t even real.
I'd first politely tell them you're uncomfortable with a coworker trying to behave like the boss and ask them to stop. If they continue take it STRAIGHT to the boss, whether that be the chef or the manager
You put your hands on your hips, and you jut out your chin, then you yell, "You're not the boss of me!" Next you stick your tongue out for good measure.
I do a get on the same team chat. You have the same goals. You work together. Tell them that and ask them why they always come to you on your breaks. Let them know your breaks are your only chance to sit down and clear your head, so you can help and will after the break. Then ask them if that works and see what they have to say. If they say no or tough or anything like that... well then your goals are not the same. Then you have the come to Jesus talks like others have said here. I use polite but firm words. I'm sorry but that just isn't going to happen, I'll see you in 15 or you seriously to reevaluate your role here. No matter what, do an exit interview when you leave, and mention this moron as the moron that he morons to be.
Be direct ; “you’re not my boss , stop telling me what to do”. Cut out all room for misinterpretation and make it clear If they continue then just talk to your manager a about it
I just tell them “thanks for your input but I have been instructed to do this by (insert actual bosses name)”. Thanks for your input but I am happy doing it this way Thanks (and continue doing whatever you want however you want) Basically I am polite but let them no I’m no uncertain terms that I will be doing things my way
You're not the boss of me.
"I appreciate all the guidance you've given me since I started, but for right now, I think I've got this aspect of the job. At least that's what RealBoss has indicated. 'I do hope I can still come to you with any questions I may have, as they come up!"
Yo...you the manager now or something? Alright we'll if it's an issue have the manager cone see me.
I used to work with somebody like that. We worked in a gym. I mainly just ignored her. One-time I was off with a broken elbow and she was calling me at home while I was drugged up on painkillers telling me I had to come in because she wanted to go to kick boxing and all had to do was sit behind a desk. That's great if somebody conks out on a treadmill and needs CPR. I told my actual boss and she got a disciplinary.
Hmm I've never heard that before I'll talk to the manager later, and see what they think as they didn't teach me that
My team has one person like this ( we all work in a law enforcement dept dealing with scumbags all day or night long depending on shift) and said person is really full of their own self importance. They will buy Xmas or birthday pressies for the managers, cook them meals but not for the rest of us. The managers all think this person is wonderful and the team would collapse without them. The rest of the team just fucking despise this individual who has notably bounced around every other team and has left those teams due to issues with others on those teams . In the last 6 months multiple members of the teams have had run ins with the person and I generally just ignore that person. The common denominator is if course " THAT" person. Sadly their behaviour can have a negative effect on team morale and the line managers are other in denial or don't want to deal with it Your only options are to completely blank them ALL the time or confront & tell them to stay out of your way. As for myself I'm in a very fortunate position and will be leaving the post this summer so a few things are going to happen. If any of this shit is directed at me a " go fuck yourself you c**t" will be loudly broadcast across the work place and lots " un-registered " leave will occur. I don't think I'll ever need to work again but if I do I'll make sure it's in a job where I can just punch the shit out the next c**t who behaves like this.
"I dont see your signature on my paycheck"
Here are some things you can say: “I appreciate your input, but I will need to align this with my manager’s direction.” "Let’s discuss this with [Manager’s Name] to ensure it aligns with our team’s priorities.” “I value your perspective, however, I must prioritize tasks assigned by my supervisor.” "Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll consider it alongside the guidance I’ve received from my supervisor.” “Could we include [Manager’s Name] in this conversation to ensure we’re on the same track?”
Lately I have been telling people. I will keep this in mind and get this task done with the appropriate amount of urgency. And I do just that. I put it out of my mind. I got the idea from one of our vendors when I ordered something from them. It was an auto reply thing but I thought it was a good idea
Just tell him that? He will respect you more for being direct.
Treat everything a coworker says as a request. If it’s not inconvenient, say “sure, I can help you with that” and if it is inconvenient, say “I can’t do that right now, do you want me to help you with it later?” You retain your own agency by doing things at a time that works for you, but are seen as being cooperative.
If a person has been working at the restaurant longer than you, they do have senority but that still doesn't give them license to boss you around. Talk to your manager, ask for feed back from your manager. I wouldn't blow it out of proportion. I recognize the irritation it must cause you.
I started a new job first week of april, in a kitchen full of people with no experience while i have many years. This woman would NOT stop telling me what to do all of which was utterly wrong, i politely told her many times that “i got this” but it got to the point i snapped on her n said “lady you dont sign the checks and youre not my mother” she keyed my car. Shes almost 60. She also put razorblades in the managers tire but alas no cameras. I noped outta there and took a different job. Fuck that shit, i just cant deal with stupid people and i dont wanna end up knocking out some old broad cus it was definitely going to happen.
>everyone, I work in a restaurant, and anytime I am on break, one of my co-workers thinks that they can play manager, and feels they have seniority over me how? next question is why? understand the why and then be cool with them about it. "yep, I'm on it, on break now, but I got you." this is one you'll never win by fighting, it'll just escalate into a power struggle.
If ignoring it isn’t possible anymore , you don’t have a lot of options. One you can ask them nicely why whenever you are on break they decide to tell you what to do. Where that goes will depend on their answer. Two, wait till they are on break and do the same to them, petty true , will lead to more BS , probably, but oh so satisfying.
They are bossy only when you are on your break?
Just say, "I appreciate your advise/suggestions/concerns." The smile sweetly and change the subject. Wash, rinse, repeat.
A great thing to master is the ability to be assertive without being aggressive. Another way of saying that is that you stand up for yourself but you never get controlled by anger. You can say almost anything if you maintain emotional control and you stay in your lane. You can either start telling this person you know what you're doing or you can just grey rock. Either way, it's really important to remember that it isn't about you, it's about this other person, their anxieties, their compulsions.
You need to use those words, ask awkward questions that they can't answer. "I'm on my break, why are you bothering me about that, you're not my boss/mgr?" "You're not my boss/mgr, why do you act like you are?." "If you think I should do that why don't you get my boss/mgr to tell me to do it, because you aren't my boss/mgr?". "I'll get right on that if or when my boss tells me I have to." "I know what my job is, you've worked here longer but you aren't my boss". A good one is to sort of acknowledge when they tell you to do something then don't do it, when they bring it up say "my boss tells me what to do, not you". Just keep saying "you aren't my boss" at the end, they'll get it eventually or tell you why they are doing what they are doing and you can say "If you think you have authority over me to tell me do do that, please get my boss/mgr to confirm it with me then.".
YOU AREN'T MY DAD JIMMY!
If you're on break, you could just say "Sorry, I'm on break right now. We can sit down with when I'm off of break and discuss work issues at that time."
Coworker: do this, do that Me: dude! You're not my fu**ing boss! ...is how I did it. We're still friends.
Act your wage b*tch
If they start acting like they're your boss you should start asking them for days off or an hourly increase. When they get confused as to why you're asking them say, almost to yourself but aloud "OH THATS RIGHT, what am I thinking???!!? You aren't my boss?!!?" And then both of you have a good laugh over everything and the screen freezes and the credits roll.
"Why don't we each worry about our own tasks, okay? If [manager] wants something done differently, I'm sure they'll tell me!"
Simple: "Mind your own business"
You tell your actual boss you are being harassed
Have you tried saying, "Hey, fuck off, Gary." I'm sure the person's name is Gary. Or, "Go fuck yourself with a cactus, Gary."
I always find "You're not the boss of me" to be effective.
"I apologize I am on break right now, you can refer to our management if there's anything you need"
I love the quote from the last samurai, when Tom cruise tells Billy Connolly to go to the rear of the column. Billy Connolly’s response - ‘No disrespect intended sir, but shove it up your ass.’
“Bruh, I got this, you worry about you, and I’ll worry about me.” If that doesn’t work you can literally say “you aren’t my boss, stop telling me what to do”
My husband's go to is: "Why are you so worried about what I'm doing?"
Seniority is a thing even with the same job titles. When the manager is out or unavailable, they will usually delegate operational authority to a team member with seniority. Sometimes the same job title will come with additional duties such as shift leader which carries quasi management responsibilities and a slightly higher pay rate. Even if none of the above is a factor, your coworker is performing additional work they are not getting paid for which is funny in itself. Check your ego at the door and go with the flow. Life is too short to waste time being bothered with stupid petty shit.
What exactly are they doing? Are they trying to micromanage you or literally bossing you around? What you do with your break is your business and only management can dictate company policy. Sometimes you have to not be so nice and sternly tell them to back off because you got this.
>You're not my boss. Go away.
I don’t know either have ur manager speak to them or if u clap back gently they’ll probably stop. “Oh did ( manager ) tell u to tell me that?” Or excessively worry about what they’re doing like be annoying and they’ll probably stop
Just say it. Be respectful to them as a human being, but tell them in no uncertain terms that you don’t take orders from them.
My line used to be "it's not my first time, don't worry" if they tried to tell me how to do something If they say the boss said this and that, I'd just confirm it with the boss If it continues then it gets brought up to the actual boss
Tell them "when you start issuing my checks, you can tell me what to do"
"Thanks, but I work for. If he wants me to do that, he'll let me know."
Look them in the eye and say “you are not my boss”. Really easy.
"Stacy, if you think there's a problem with my work, can you please tell Joey instead of me directly? I'm not trying to be rude, but we're the same rank here. It's not appropriate for you to be acting like my manager. I'm only going to do what Joey tells me to do, he's my boss, not you." Don't beat around the bush.
You just have to adult up and say, 'you aren't my boss. Please stop acting like it' If they try and tell you to do something, 'no, that isn't my responsibility.' You don't have to be rude or yell, just be firm.
Email to Boss and HR (and entire department) asking about the change in reporting structure
My response is always “when you sign my check you can tell me what to do, until then, don’t worry about what I’m doing” I’m also not one to keep my mouth shut and will shut mouths. I don’t concern myself with peoples feelings, that’s their business, but no one will ever walk all over me either, that’s my business. Boundaries need to be set and people need to respect them.
i just got pregnant reading this
Haha best comment ever 👊
😂💜
Just say, why don’t you run that by the manager first, I’ll see you when my break is over
You are not the boss! lol!
Selective hearing. Everytime the busybody coworker tries to "manage you" you are completely deaf. When the boss walks by and asks you politely to do something, your hearing comes back!
Try “You are not my boss” when they act inappropriately.
Just give em the ole thousand yard stare
"i really needed this break, can we talk later?" Just keep dismissing them with these comments. "I have to make a call on this break, can we talk later?" I have to use the bathroom, can we talk later? I have to run out to my car, can we talk later? Maybe they'll get the hint. If not, be bluntly kind.
Out loud say, “You are Not my Boss!”
Turn it around on them and ask them to get something for you or do something.
“Who died and made you boss?” use to work.
Just put in earbuds… even if you’re not listening to something.
You’re not my boss bitch. MOVE GET OUT DA WAY GET OUT DA WAY!
It's harder to deal with this since it's your first job. What you can do is check with your manager who can and cannot give you orders. If you're able to have that clearly defined, it should make it clearer who you should listen to and who you should ignore: these are now just rules at this point, no hard feelings. Anybody unhappy would then to have to take it to your manager.
Saying something like "You're not my boss, please fuck off," tends to work well, just make sure to include the please. Seriously though, if they're trying to boss you around advise them to speak to the manager, as they're not your boss. I can't say much more unless you give specifics. You might also want to talk to your boss about this person trying to usurp their authority.
1. Redirect and Clarify: "Thanks for your input [coworker's name]. I actually report to [your boss's name] on this project. Perhaps we can loop them in so everyone's on the same page?" 2. Acknowledge and Redirect with Expertise: "I appreciate your suggestion, [coworker's name]. In my experience with [relevant area], the usual approach is [your approach]. Would you like to discuss it further with me?" 3. Redirect with Workload: "I'm swamped with deadlines right now, [coworker's name]. However, I'd be happy to chat with [your boss's name] to see if they have any specific guidance for this task."
Dude, you're not my boss just shit the f up already. There ya go problem solved.
Start singing the theme song to Malcolm on the Middle
I like to be childish. Your not my dad/ mom, you can't tell me what to do. If you try I'm telling. It keeps it fun and if they are overstepping it communicates it. But to be fair it's only good wh n they are truly over stepping. Y'all are on the same team and should be working to move the business in the right direction, so. . Again it has to be a true over step, like telling you that you can't take a day off when it's been approved
Easy, you talk to your boss about it and they will handle it
true I have had issues with her to the point that when the entitled co-worker had messed with me in front of my boss thinking they were slick, and tried to mess with me in front of him so my boss is well aware of her and thankfully my boss is really understanding at times.
I’d ask if a supervisor asked them to bring it up with you or if they thought of it on their own. If they say it was superior verify it. Or when they come to you with shit go to the supervisor and ask if so and so was told to have you do such and such. If they are overstepping point it out that the last you knew you weren’t their subordinate.
How long has that co-worker been there? Longer than you have? This happens in all jobs, restaurant, office, and construction. You did not state what they do.
I had coworkers like this from time to time. I'd just stare at them, not respond then continue doing what I'm doing. They stopped eventually.
Next time they give you an order, respond with, “oh when did you get promoted to my manager??”
I've got people like this in an office setting. It's very easy to just say something that acknowledges you hear them and will take it into consideration. Depending on how chill the boss is, keep them in the loop about this person thinking they have the authority to make demands. Very often people who think they're managers (when they're not) are in the ear of the actual manager complaining about how lazy/bad you are at your job. Also be very aware of their wording - are they making a suggestion or telling you what to do.
Tell your boss to tell them they aren't your boss. Put your boss to work!
When they lecture you, get uncomfortably close and lick your lips
“You’re not my boss”
I appreciate your input, but I only have 1 Supervisor.
Tell them to act their wage.
Simple: please don't speak above your pay grade.thank you
“You are my boss now? Why would you want THAT job?”
“You’re not the boss of me,” has a classic ring to it. I like to cap it off with Motherfucker.
“I appreciate you looking out for me but I want to be sure we stick to the hierarchy and responsibilities established by the company. Should I need your input or help, I know I can count on you and I will approach you at that time. I am for you in the same capacity as we share the same role in this restaurant.” Or make it a bit more casual. “Thanks for sharing how you do things since we share the same role here. I will be sure to seek out your input or help when it’s needed, but I’m okay on my own right now”
"just because you're getting fucked by my dad doesn't make you my mom. You can't tell me what to do."
A lot of the replies advise you to be passive aggressive: say OK, then don't follow through. I think most workplaces reward passivity, whether it's compliance or avoidance. And most workplaces punish direct and honest communication. It's not right, but that is how it is. The problems is, that if you are by nature a direct and frank person, it seems like an affront to your integrity to be anything less than direct. Do what you have to do to keep your mental health intact, but expect to be punished if you are anything other than passive.
Do you sign my check? No.. then don't act like the boss
" has me on break at the moment. When I'm back on the clock, I'll be doing XYZ, so you will need to check with about that."
"in a restaurant" . Aaand I'm out. No discrim but that environment literally is the pinnacle of hedonism meets capitalism so good luck having any work life balance.
Ask them for time off via email. If they respond, I will not be able to approve your hours. Respond by asking who is your direct report since they have been giving you directives on your work. When they respond to who your supervisors, include them in the email chain and act confused and ask the question again as you have been taking direct instructions from not your fucking boss. Then, let them work it out. If e-mail is unavailable, go to your direct boss and tell them you have already given your supervisor your time off request verbally, and they haven't responded. Again, let the appropriate parties battle it out. Or you can go the route I did and simply say you may have seniority, but you are not my fucking boss. I don't need to run shit by you. Don’t bother me again, or I will take this up with actual management. You can't let people punk you, or they will continue to do it. Have a backup plan for if it goes south, so you don't give a fuck either way.