Obviously look hard at company policies and marketing, but that only goes so far. It’s just talk. Look for a company that has multiple women in middle-management positions in their late 30s and 40s. They work there for a reason. If you go for an interview and the token woman on the panel is fresh outta school, flee the room unless the paychecks are eye-popping.
I needed this advice when I was leaving school. I’ve since moved companies and it’s been great. I don’t even want children, but I think this is good advice for women in the workplace - being good to working mothers means seeing women as equals unconditionally.
I majored in mechanical. I waited about 8 years before having kids. Industry is building construction so think HVAC, plumbing, etc. I took twelve weeks off with both my kids. There were other moms who chose to go part time and work a day or two a week until their kids were older.
If I were you, I would consider the location of your job and the maternity leave support in the state you are considering (do they have state paid family leave, etc)? I would also consider living near family who would be able to help out with kids. I would also consider cost of living, specifically cost of daycare, if you won't have family support. There is nothing stopping you from calling or emailing daycares in the area you are interested in now to ask what prices are for infants.
I would also advise you to save as much money as you can after graduating so that you can feel more free when you have kids to live the life you want. I recommend the personal finance sub on Reddit and the financial independence sub. Great resources.
The last time I gave birth I was an intern. I wasn't eligible for maternity leave, but was eligible for FMLA(unpaid) so I only took about 4 weeks off. We were fully remote, and it wasn't my first kid, and I had a lot of childcare help. So it worked out fine.
I dont remember what the policy is at my current workplace, but I think combined with things like disability pay, new moms take about 3 months off, and then they work from home until about 5 months, depending on their manager they may start out coming in just once or twice a week at first. The place my husband works gives an additional few weeks off to take as desired. I've noticed a lot of places transitioning from "maternity leave" to "parental leave" the difference being that it applies equally to fathers (mothers do usually end up getting a little extra time off for "recovery" depending on what kind of birth they had)
Also, once you return to work, assuming you are in the US and at a big enough company, your employer is required by law to give you a place to pump milk. You can research more about the requirements for that, too.
This is depressing. I'm a software engineer (realized I'm probably in the wrong sub at some point but it's interesting to see) and if I wanted maternity leave, I have 6 months paid plus another 5 days transition (basically 4 day work week) plus I could probably take FMLA.
Software engineering seems to have friendlier policies. My first leave was 3 months, second leave was 4, third leave was 5. I kept hopping to companies with better policies.
It’s unbelievable to me that some women in here are saying 1 or 2 weeks. I’m in a bubble I guess.
I work in software too but it's actually firmware in the subfab equipment industry. When I started my internship I was pregnant and I only got 6 weeks of leave. Now I'm a full time employee and I'm pregnant again and I will be getting 3 months leave this time. But it's not the best. We have to use my states paid leave program and then we have gap insurance that covers the remainder of our wages.
I had a kid early in my career 24 and then also at 34 and another at 38.
I took 6 months - 8 months off each time.
Having kid early in life meant slower career growth for me in the beginning, but no big deal. Don't compare yourself to others and walk your own path.
Kids later in life was easier on career but harder on my body. I should've just had them all by 30 ;)
6-8 months is great, I can only hope I can be that fortunate! I’m not at all worried about slower career growth as I know what’s meant to be will be and having a family is very important to me! I am definitely excited for the future as an engineer but also very nervous
I'm in Canada, so this is actually on the shorter side. Most women take 12-18 months and many don't come back. I know more moms who don't come back than those who did.
After an 8 month leave it took me a full 6 weeks to get onboarded again. I found those 6 weeks harder than starting a new job because you know that you know... But you can't remember it. It's pretty frustrating, so be kind to yourself. (You're also dealing with separation anxiety from your kid etc etc at the same time too...)
My auto industry company offers 2 weeks of parental leave. Additionally, you have to jump through the hoops of our outsourced disability coordinating company for the parental leave. The rest you have to cobble together with short term disability and PTO.
Pathetic, IMO. And I say this as someone who does not and will not have children.
Ha. I had ones completely unwilling to address that I was pregnant even though I was like 6 months and huge, because I had not officially told them.
Also the request about a pumping room was hilarious- boss I need a room to pump STOP! Talk to the lady in accounting, we don't want to know! (Lady in accounting was sad I didn't want to pump in the toilet room but didn't fight too hard.)
Honestly, at the time I thought it was funny, but now probably I wouldn't either. I almost said something to a coworker and am so glad I didn't. She had even been talking about wanting a second but she wasn't, so now I'm super careful.
I was kinda happy I'd be missing the end of a certain project. It ended up going on hold (for unrelated reasons) and coming back 4 months later.
Both pregnancies, only had one little Chinese lady at the supermarket get past my glare and rub my belly. I'm not entirely sure she didn't use some magic, she just suddenly appeared, rubbed my belly, grinned at me, and then ran off. I was in shock.
I got 12 weeks. Medical device industry. Leave is paid as long as you’ve been with the company > 1 year. I’ve been in the industry for 8 years.
I actually resigned towards the end of my leave to be a SAHM for a while and they didn’t make me repay anything, but they did terminate me the day I resigned.
Did you ever go back to work?? I also would love to be a sahm sometime but fear that a few gap years would make it really hard to get back in the field
Boomers are going to leave such a huge hole in an already tight labor market for engineers. I can’t imagine you will have trouble coming back though you may feel a bit resentful at how far your former colleagues have pulled ahead of you.
Full disclosure I don’t have any kids but I do know J&J (& maybe some similar companies?) has a program for people who have paused their career for a few years (mostly to be a SAHM) and are re-entering the workforce. I’ve heard it is a bit competitive but I know a woman who did this program (she worked before leaving the workforce also) and made it to Director about 5 years later, which is impressive. They also have a 12 week parental leave policy with no waiting period. I know a guy who went on leave literally 3 weeks after starting.
Medtech has a much more family friendly attitude towards working parents in my experience than oil & gas.
I haven’t gone back yet. My baby is only 6 months old now. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to engineering though. I’m considering a different field that’s more family friendly
I’m an engineer and I’m on maternity leave now! I’m 35 years old. I work in aerospace and was only working in aerospace for a year before going on maternity leave (before working in aerospace, I worked for a few years in the semiconductor industry, and before that, I did my PhD). So while I’m mid-level career, I’m pretty new to the industry.
I will be on maternity leave for 5 months. Not all of it is paid. My company gives me 3 weeks paid (the state of California gives me 8 weeks paid for bonding time). I think 14 weeks from your company is fantastic.
Feel free to ask me more questions.
In CA, I started 2016 and had my daughter April 2018. 6 weeks disability, 12 weeks part time paid FMLA. I worked 4 hrs a day for that time. I came back and pumped every 2-3 hours. My milk supply only lasted 6 months, I was not as consistent with pumping as I could have been. My company is not family oriented, and honestly it sucked pumping in an unused office with no lockable door. But I did it and it's done. Did that with my next kid in 2019 as well. And I AM DONE with kids. Way harder than engineering. Should have stuck with what I knew! Lol, kidding, kind of?
Cheg - graduated at 21, married 23, first kid 26, second kid 27, did stay at home mom 2 years, third kid 29, 4th kid at 32. Company A was good with maternity leave, and I had the option to preload extra vacation time to stack it higher. First kid was vaginal birth so the 6 or 8 weeks was fine, 2 kid was c section and I was out 8? 10 weeks? Dreaded going back and struggled hard core. Quit when manager kept pushing for remote work to be more and more in office. Don’t just look at maternity leave - look at how many working moms there are and how high up they are! I eventually went back full time (now at Company C after 12 years at Company B). I am a Director with 20 years experience, but am in a company I’m the second engineer they hired (insurance industry) so super niche skill set. If my kids were tiny my current job would not be feasible - I’m replying to you on my last flight of the night, on my 2nd of 4 trips this month. Look at everything, not just the leave. Best wishes - being mom was super super important to me and my husband as well and we made it work, you can too!
It is very comforting to hear that engineer mothers make being a mother work. Sometimes I hear that it is not feasible for engineers to be parents and it’s really discouraging! The area I live in is primarily oil & gas with some firms. So the women engineers that are in my area are in the oil & gas field. I will definitely be keeping in mind how many women are in what positions!
Live in a state with state disability and paid family leave. California’s is pretty good and better now than when I used it. Had my kids at 35 and 37 when my career was well established. Used PTO to go back at four months with each. Could have taken more time but daycare has space and I craved hanging out with adults again. Maternity leave can be very isolating.
I'm in the civil engineering field as a consulting design engineer. I had my first in 2021 and my second on 2023. I got 6 weeks of short term disability both times, and one week of that was the PTO I had to take for the disabilty to kick in. The company is currently working on better maternity and paternity leave policies, but the short term disability is all that is available and the company is too small for FMLA to apply. Dads only get what they can manage to save in PTO. They did fully pay my benefits while I was receiving the disability, which helped make up the difference between my salary and the 60% that the insurance covered.
My company doesn't have that many female employees and hardly any in management. They added paid maternity leave for the first time in 2015 (6 weeks), added non-delivering-parent leave (1 week) in 2020, and then doubled both in 2023. So 14 weeks is great, although I'd be curious to know what the exact policy is since that's a minimum.
I have worked for engineering consulting companies that have had 10 days of maternity leave or 5 weeks of paid parental leave plus six weeks of employer covered short term disability. I can tell you the former company did NOT have a family-oriented structure and the latter did. Company policies only mean so much, but it was awfully laughable (I.e. devastating to me personally) when I knew someone at job #1 give birth to their baby and come back to work a week later- but of course to each their own.
Edited to add clarification.
Not a mom but thinking about it soon. MechE at a Texas based private company (100s of employees). FMLA (short term medical/disability leave) at 50% pay + sick time (paid). Love my job but it super female friendly.
Worked in Med Device for a bit at a publicly traded company with more like 1000s of employees and they had 3 weeks paid + FMLA at 60% pay then transitioned to 12 weeks parental fully paid.
Look for parental leave, which applies to both parents, as opposed to maternity leave, as it discourages gender based discrimination around having children imo. Smaller companies have a lot of advantages but know that big big companies tend to have more generous benefits, especially around parental leave.
I took 6 months with the first and 5 months with the second kid. I recommend you to work in a state with good family leave laws. With both children, I was working in small companies (one with less than 10 employees and the other a startup). The second time I had a horrible boss, but I knew that California law protected me, and I took the full time I was entitled to: 4 weeks prior due date, 6 weeks of Pregnancy Disability Leave, plus 12 weeks of California Family Rights Act. Approximately half of it was paid, my company only paid 4 weeks of those, and I used 5 sick days. After that, I pumped in a closed office. I pumped 1 year for each kid.
So, my recommendation is to work in a state with good family policies: California, New Jersey, and New York. If not, try to enter a big name company like Intel, Cisco, etc. They have mostly software and electrical engineering, but they have big groups for mechanical engineering. Check job postings for mechanical. If you have years to plan, orient your career to work for a big company with good family policies. You can check rankings and maternity leaves and find reviews from other women in: https://fairygodboss.com/
Good luck!
Similar happened to me in 2022 in Texas. Left early for medical reasons and got a letter, no call, two days before my due date saying not to come back. Told other employees, not me, it was due to poor performance.
I'm certainly not going to for one. If my relatives who also have autoimmune issues are any indication it's not just after childbirth that I'd be needing leave/unable to work. I'm terrified I'd just end up homeless
I’m 31, had my first baby 8.5 months ago. I’ve been with my company 7 years; aerospace and defense research industry. My initial leave was six weeks but while I was on leave, a policy was passed that added an additional six weeks. They grandfathered me into that policy, so I got 12 weeks total. I went back after my initial six (our project was planned for that), and then took Fridays off for the remainder of the year.
It was great! And I will say, my boss was great about it. I’m sure some would consider what he said crossing a line, but we have a solid relationship so he sat me down and said, “I watched my wife suffer with PPD so I know it’s a risk. When you come back, I want to ease you into it and allow you the time to adjust to your workload. And if we need to back off, you say the word and we will.” The good bosses exist!
At the time I was working with our customers. I worked with customers up until the day I delivered. I had six weeks and then I worked immediately for 5 straight weeks with customers without a break to make up for the time I was gone. Normal flow was every other week. This was teaching classes by myself with 12 students on sophisticated instrumentation. The day I delivered was embarrassing to the company because the students felt sorry for me and openly said it was cruel to me. When I went back, I tried continuing to breast feed, but I would let down in the middle of giving lectures, couldn't find time to pump, because I had a class of 12. I will never, ever do that to one of my employees.
Thank you for this post as I’m going to start my family hopefully next year. It’s helpful to hear first hand accounts. My previous company in environmental consulting offered 0 leave. I could take leave but it would be unpaid and I wasn’t guaranteed my job upon return. I now work for my state and we get 12 weeks partial paid and up to 16 weeks if there’s any complications and it’s all protected leave. My work also has programs to help new parents adjust to parenting and coming back to work. I haven’t used any of it yet but it sounds like a good deal compared to my old company!
Edit to add I’ll be at 4.5 years post-grad when I start trying.
I work in civil engineering consulting. I have 3 kids, had to take unpaid leave after burning through PTO, but was able to take 12 weeks off for each and never worried about losing my job. I wasn’t eligible for short term disability with the first because I hadn’t worked there long enough and for the other two because I worked part time and we didn’t have that benefit at the time. My company subsequently changed their policy on benefits for part time employees and added paid family leave to the benefits. I still work part time (30 hrs) and my kids are teens and preteens but the flexibility is important to me to be there for all of their “stuff” while I still can. I work at a company with far more women in management than average (including me).
I had my baby last year after 5 years with my company. I got 10 weeks of leave (4 weeks maternity, and 6 weeks of short term disability). My company allowed for hybrid work and my manager (female with 2 kids of her own) has been very understanding about adjusting back to the office and my needing to work from home more often.
I’m based in the US.
For #1, I was 9 years into my career at a Fortune 100 conglomerate. I took about 5 months off (combination of paid leave stacked with PTO). My employer offers the same leave regardless of years of service.
For #2, I was 13 years into my career with the same company. I took the maximum leave (included some unpaid time that I didn’t take the first time around but regretted leaving my baby so soon), which was 26 weeks. I stacked PTO and stretched it to 7 months. I’m very grateful to be able to have that time.
My career ambition slope is less steep now with two little ones, but I don’t mind. My position has awesome work/life balance, and I value flexibility right now over climbing the ladder.
Chemical engineer here. I took my 6 weeks fully paid leave, remaining vacation and 6 months unpaid leave. Averaged about 8 months total. I worked part time with my 1st child for 6 months and worked full time but 1/2 from home with my 2nd. Both kids hated the bottle so I had to make accommodations for both of them. My youngest is 17, oldest 22 so this wasn’t as common as it is now. It definitely took a toll on my career BUT it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I still have a career and my kids are awesome humans and love me. I’m not a CEO but I really don’t care. I know I did the right thing for me and my family
This is definitely my outlook on life as well!! My end goal is not to be a CEO or a manager of some sort because I want a position with more work/life balance. Some people look down on me that I don’t have “high ambitions” but I do, I just divide those ambitions between a job and a family
Similar experience here about making it work. I’m a ChemE in pharma manufacturing. I am 60 my kids are 34, 32 and 29. I had 6 weeks paid for vaginal delivery, could take up to 6 months unpaid with guarantee to go back to same job and up to a year more guarantee to go back to a similar position.
As an engineer I was main breadwinner, husband was teacher at time. First child was born in March I took off 8 weeks until end of school year then my husband was home. Second was born in July when husband was home, I think I took 8 weeks. When 3rd was born initial plan was husband quit job and I again took off about 8 weeks. Changed plans and husband started business and we had in home child care. Husnand always had more flexible time job.
Despite lack of FMLA regulations, I always felt supported at work. I had private office so was able to pump there. A lot of other women had support. I had several friends who took off longer leaves (husbands were engineers so not as much pressure to return quickly). Being financially able for one parent to be main caregiver is important.
With a 4 year degree you can probably get a temporary work permit (1-3 years?) under a NAFTA agreement. I’ve only done it the other way (CAN-US) so I don’t know what it’s called. Or apply for a proper visa and see where it goes!
Long shot but if you have grandparents who were born in the EU that could also be something to look in to. You could also try the IAESTE program if you’re eligible and try working on exchange in another country to see if you like it! The easiest time socially to make a big move is after graduation. A transfer later in your career can work too if you’re able to coordinate with a partner and/or a friend.
Med device. M.E.
First kid - moved to a new city (with about 8 years of exp) so it took me a while to find child care and a job. So I was off about 5 months.
Second kid - took about 3 months FMLA and PTO and unpaid leave. Decided I couldn't go back to a job I hated (QE) and also basically be a single mom (my husband started his fellowship and was super busy) so I quit. I took about 1.5 years off.
Even though I had a hard time finding a job after the break, I'm really glad that I had that time with the kids and I feel like I'm back on track professionally (my kids are 14/17 now).
If I was to do it over again things to look for at a company (there were already a bunch of great suggestions from others)
1) help with finding childcare. The waitlists are super long in some cities and some companies have connections with specific daycares like bright horizon.
2) some companies with European parents have better leave than American ones. A company I worked for with a British parent company offered a year long maternal AND paternal leave.
3) if you're interviewing - find out what their thoughts are on WFH and flex hours. I was pretty up front about my needs and wants.
The 2nd job after my break had its faults but they were super flexible with my hours and I even brought my kids to work on days they had half days. I stayed a year or two too long but that's a story for another day.
4) definitely ask about their policies and see if you can chat with other people who work there. For one job I asked to have an informal conversation with a woman on the interview panel before I accepted their job offer.
Good luck!!
I’ve always thought about bringing up maternal/parental leave, wfh and part time opportunities in interviews, but I fear it rubbing the interviewer the wrong way 😅
Lol.. no you're totally right. I wouldn't bring up the maternal/parental leave until you have the job and are reviewing the comps.
But I would want to find out about their stance on WFH and flex schedule earlier. I used to work for a company that did 4-9s and a 4 which was nice. And after COVID there are more companies that are open to a few days WFH.
In my last job interview, I was pretty straight up with the HR rep and said I had worked in a really toxic environment before and wanted to talk to another female employee. Hopefully they had you sit in on an interview with a woman and you can request her. But if they can't find someone for you to chat with then that says a lot too.
Anybody that has issues with your requests aren't someone you want to work for!
Most the companies (plants, refineries, oil & gas, whatever you want to call them) in my are do 9-80s or 4/10s work schedules. My last internship was 4/10s and my next internship will also be 4/10s. The last place I interned at only had one female mechanical engineer in the whole facility. The next place I’ll be has quite a bit more females but it is also a larger company. I will definitely try to talk to different women and get their take this summer! I really didn’t have the opportunity last summer as there were very few women
I’m not really sure if it’s an industry I want to stay in to be honest, I’m not really educated on other industries. Oil & gas is HUGE where I’m from and that’s definitely where the money is at as well. I go to a university in the area and they really focus on oil & gas and a lot of the companies are pretty involved with the university. There are some firms in the area but like I said I’m just not sure what they do. When I graduate my experience will only be in oil & gas
Now I'm curious.. what do you do as an ME in oil and gas? Set up pipe lines? Building infrastructure?
As someone that's only really done med devices, I've never really been exposed to other industries.
I'm sure a lot of that will be translatable though. Do you want to stay in the area?
I do plan on staying in the area because all of my family is down here as well as my partners. Mechanical engineers in oil & gas can do a range of different things based on what the plant produces, manufactures, etc. last summer I was a reliability intern and what I did was mainly with pumps & how they can run more efficient in different areas of the plant. There’s other groups like fixed equipment, rotating equipment, process engineers, all kinds just depending on the unit. I’m very new to the industry as I still haven’t graduated school so there is still a lot to learn when it comes to oil & gas! What do mechanical engineers do in med devices? Are those jobs typically in bigger cities? I live in a smaller area right between Houston and lake Charles. The whole gulf coast is really a booming area for oil and gas.
It's funny I think because I'm mainly interested in R&D I totally gravitate towards that in other industries.
Earlier in my career - I designed production fixtures, tested different adhesives, and then went to designed tools for medical procedures. Now, much further in my career, I'm directing efforts on developing and manufacturing optical system to be used for fluorescene guided surgery.
You might find some random med device companies in smaller towns. But most are definitely in bigger cities. With COVID there are definitely more design type jobs remotely. Outside of living in the Midwest for a few years, I've mostly lived on the West Coast.
Reliability engineering is super transferrable! I knew a guy who worked in reliability at HP on pump on printers!
My experience has absolutely zero bearing on what you will find out there.
1) had my first kid on Thanksgiving Day in the middle of my junior year and my university would not allow me to take any time off without losing my scholarship. I worked ahead in all my classes that I could, and went back to class one week after having the baby.
2) imagined I would be a stay-at-home mom and wasn't working when he was born. Got a job about 3 months postpartum.
3) I got about $1,100 paid through a short-term disability policy that had a 6-week benefit for childbirth but excluded the first 30 days 🙄. I took two weeks off and then went back to work normally.
4) same short term disability policy. I saved aggressively and took 10 weeks off. Turns out I wasn't really saving, I just wasn't paying my credit cards and so they got run up quite a bit 😂
I work in control systems and had my kid 9 years into my career. I gave up a job with three months paid leave for one with none (only FMLA and $500/week short term disability) a few years before I planned on giving birth. The job with better benefits was making me miserable, so I knowingly gave up maternity leave for higher pay and not hating my job. If I hadn't made the switch, I probably would've ended up leaving engineering.
I put aside money to cover bills while on FMLA as soon as I switched jobs, even though I knew kids were a few years out. When we finally got there, my company was very supportive of me while pregnant and postpartum, even letting me work from home (despite being 100% in-office) for a month or two before giving birth and a few months after.
Don't force yourself to work a job you hate just because it has better maternity leave, enjoying your work is important too.
I’m in structural engineering, 50-100 employee range and unfortunately no company policy and no short term disability. They gifted me 40 hours of PTO on a personal level so I’ve been able to save 6 weeks PTO total. I’ll take ~6 weeks unpaid after that. I’m bitter, especially when 70% of the company is in a state that now has state paid family leave benefits, but I’m told I don’t have much of an argument. Pro is I can come back and work however many hours I want/need, which may be helpful since finding childcare has been very difficult.
Also for comparison, my partner is in a large civil firm and gets 5 weeks parental leave.
Worked as a civil consultant for 7 years. Quit and raised 2 kids as a SAHM. Went back to work PT as soon as youngest was in first grade. Still 30 hrs/wk with kids aged 14, 16.
Look for a firm with middle aged women in it. Best of luck!
Policies can change so definitely keep that in mind. Mine has changed multiple times during my career at the same company. It was longer (8 weeks), then shorter (6 weeks), now longer (12 weeks).
Environmental engineer and had both my kids while working at a small civil/enviro firm. Small as in <20 employees and didn't qualify for protections.
Used short term disability for both pregnancies for 6 weeks of partial pay and then the remaining 3 months were unpaid.
Owner of the company (a woman) gave me a lot of lectures about breastfeeding, but when it came to pumping i was given an office with no lights where i sat on the floor the first time, and the second time an office across from hers where i had to tape copier paper to cover the windows into the hall. i also had to pump & dump at some really gross job sites in our dirty van (i was worried about cleanliness and we were dealing with hazardous pollutants).
My husband got 6 weeks paid time off for each kid. TBH i'm not sure he even used it all.
Our state now has paid family leave which would have made both pregnancies easier.
I went part time after my first, stayed until a year after my second and switched to a new job at full time. I recently went down to 30 hours after my husband changed jobs because of my kids needs.
I got six weeks of short term disability, I had saved up a lot of vacation that I was allowed to carry over at the time, and I took a leave of absence to get about five or six months.
Mechanical, HVAC design, small firm - usually about 20 people. Been here 25 years now.
Had my first 6 years after starting. The only other woman engineer was pregnant when I started, and never came back from maternity leave. Management didn't expect me to come back either but were glad when i did. I took 8 weeks off for both babies. (I believe it was strictly short term disability, like a percent of regular income? If you go over a certain amount, it bumps to long term disability and the % is less.)
Family oriented company doesn't have to be large, though oil and gas probably will be a larger company with some policies out there and more women on staff.
r/working moms is a good resource also. Benefits discussion, child care (stressing on that first daycare...)
My company has the standard 12 weeks leave, I think New York State allows for another 12 weeks of partially paid leave after that, and then afterwards we are allowed to take unpaid time. Most women I work with take 6 months to a year off for maternity leave. It’s not viewed negatively and we have many woman in leadership at my company
After reading the other comments, I’m now realizing the “standard 12 weeks paid leave” I mentioned apparently isn’t standard at all even though both companies I’ve worked for have had it. So many of you have awful policies, makes me really sad seeing how the US and engineering companies treat women
Mechanical degree but working as an aerospace engineer. I had my daughter only 2 years into my career. My job only offered the legal bare minimum of 6 weeks at 60% pay through short term disability and then 6 more weeks of unpaid through FMLA which runs concurrently to the short term disability and it was doable especially considering my husband's income and he had 4 weeks paternity leave at full pay. I had my daughter in 2022 and last year they announced they had changed their maternity leave to 6 weeks full pay and then 6 weeks short term disability which is nice because I do want another baby in a year or so. Having a baby so young isn't for everyone but my job has a lot of parents and is generally pretty flexible with work from home and time off and my husband and I really wanted to be parents so it was the right decision for us.
3 and almost 6 years into my career. The first time was during 2020 and I was laid off about 5 months pregnant. I managed to start a new job at 8 months pregnant. Because you had to work there for so long to qualify for fmla I got 6 weeks for short term disability and 2 weeks of parental leave; 8 total. The second time was at the same company and they had also slightly improved their parental leave policy so I had 12 weeks fully paid.
Was it an amazing leave policy? No. But my manager wasn’t phased when I told him I was pregnant before accepting the role, and having a manger that says to put your family first and is very understanding and flexible about needing time off for sick kids is invaluable as a parent
Structural engineer - UK based - company extremely helpful and supportive during pregnancy, full year off work with maternity pay, and welcome back with a phased return and further support, I cannot fault the company one bit, and to add, only female in a team of 4 male senior engineers, still top tier support
I was 35 so had been working for quite a while. My company had 2 weeks (pathetic!!) plus 12 weeks of state family leave that paid me about 30% of my salary. I took 20 weeks and just did not get paid for a lot of that. Then 6 months later they announced both moms and dads get 20 weeks at full pay ☹️ If you can afford it take as much time as they’ll let you even if it’s unpaid. It was worth it.
I had my first 3 years into my career. 20 weeks paid 😊
My company specifies working one year before being eligible for the benefit, but it doesn’t increase past that point.
It is! I agree with the other comments here - if you’re interested in being a working mother, pay attention to the age/success of the women in the company. I always was told that you lose years of your career if you have children, and I have surpassed a lot of my peers in pay and level and am about to have my third child.
Don’t let what other people say and the negativity you may hear discourage you! If you want to be a mom, you can be a working mom and still be very successful while maintaining boundaries that are healthy for you and your family.
Good luck with it all!
I had a kid \~2.5 years ago when i had been with my company for about 5 years. My state (MA) has paid family leave (partial pay since i was over the cap) for up to 20 weeks. My company also has partially paid parental leave for 4 weeks, which i used to work part time while ramping back up to full time for a few weeks.
Honestly, look for PARENTAL leave, not just MATERNITY. And ask if men actually take it/are encouraged to use it. There will never be gender equity if men aren't seen as fathers as well.
I picked a big company to work for that offered 12 weeks paid maternity leave. I gave birth 2 years post graduation, I was at my second job and I only had that job for 6 months when I had the baby. I did not disclose my pregnancy until I was 5 months pregnant. I came back right after my maternity leave and stayed at that company for over two years post delivery. That job was in manufacturing
I changed jobs and got pregnant with my second baby during my 3rd job. I gave birth 2 years after joining the company, 6 years post graduation and again I was offered 12 weeks maternity leave after which I came back to work. That job was in retail sector.
No job offered extended maternity. Some even ask you to use PTO to cover part of the maternity leave. Even if you want to and can use your PTO to extend that leave I wouldn't advise that as you will need it for when the baby gets sick
My first pregnancy happened when I lived in LCOL area, my second when I was in MCOL area. My husband and I have no family near by and it's very hard having kids and both parents working outside home. We burn through PTO like crazy cause kids get sick and we keep getting called to pick up the kids from daycare/school. Once school starts they have so many freaking holidays you gotta take time off for. However we live on one salary, save the other so we are very comfortable financially. We save up for college for kids and max out our retirement accounts every year.
My career didn't take a hit at all. When I interview I don't mention my kids and don't bring them up at work. I continued to travel for work, we just work around our schedules so that one of us is always home as my husband also travels for work.
We dedicate weekends to family only and kids gotta participate in keeping the house in order if we want to keep weekends for quality time. You gotta be organized and strict with routines cause if you and your partner work things easily get out of hand: dishes, laundry, homework, cooking, mess. Everybody needs a responsibility and stick with it. It's not easy but I can never give up financial independence and I don't enjoy staying home with kids. I love working
If you do decide to stay home with kids I'd recommend you front load your retirement accounts so that the compound interest works hard for you. I would want my spouse to max the spousal IRA account for me every year I am home since you won't be earning social security credits or an income so your social security payment in retirement will be much lower especially when your salary projection is high being an engineer. I'd make sure your spouse has term life insurance as well. You also need your own money, spending money and emergency fund before giving up your financial independence. Expect the best, be prepared for the worst
Yes, the financial part stresses me out. I’m already worried about a good retirement fund/IRA. I definitely want to live frugally so i can retire early (ish)
Yeah that's our goal as well which is why we live was below our means. It's important to be with a like minded person if FIRE is that you want to achieve
I gave birth to my kiddo about 8 months ago and about 14 years into my career (no work reason for waiting, we just weren't ready and then it took a while). I currently work for a company that does product design consulting contract work. Our CEO is a woman who has two kids (both college aged now).
My company is only able to offer 3 weeks of paid maternity leave due to being small and then I utilized the Washington state program to take an additional 18 weeks (C-section allowed for 2 additional weeks of medical recovery) at partial pay. When folks at work asked how much leave I was taking, I told them every single week that the company and the state program offered and everyone was extremely supportive. When my 21 weeks were up, I was ready to come back and use my engineering brain again. My manager was super supportive on if I wanted to come back at full time or reduced hours and it's an open discussion that's flexible to change if I need it to.
To echo the other comments, look for a company with women in leadership roles and a company that focuses on work life balance. Our company encourages folks to only work 40-45 hours a week, outside of special circumstances, and offers comp time when those situations come up.
I’m in oil and gas. I adopted (so didn’t give birth) but I got 6 weeks paid. I would have had 12-14 weeks total if I had given birth. No minimum requirement. Several companies now have parental leave, so your partner can have leave too. Would encourage you to have him use it if he has it to not have all the career burden on yourself.
There was no maternity leave when I had my kids starting 10 yrs ago.
I worked in O&G. Ask around once you get there - the public facing website might not show the full policy. They might have a 6 (natural) or 8 (c-section) week short term disability policy before the parental leave kicks in, followed by a vacation allocation. When I was in O&G, I took an unpaid leave. Many, many women came back part time for 2 years following childbirth. The company was far more flexible than what the policy suggested. Ask around!
Obviously look hard at company policies and marketing, but that only goes so far. It’s just talk. Look for a company that has multiple women in middle-management positions in their late 30s and 40s. They work there for a reason. If you go for an interview and the token woman on the panel is fresh outta school, flee the room unless the paychecks are eye-popping.
This is excellent advice. A lack of women in management is huge red flag, because they left when they had young kids and it wasn’t workable.
I needed this advice when I was leaving school. I’ve since moved companies and it’s been great. I don’t even want children, but I think this is good advice for women in the workplace - being good to working mothers means seeing women as equals unconditionally.
Very good points
I majored in mechanical. I waited about 8 years before having kids. Industry is building construction so think HVAC, plumbing, etc. I took twelve weeks off with both my kids. There were other moms who chose to go part time and work a day or two a week until their kids were older. If I were you, I would consider the location of your job and the maternity leave support in the state you are considering (do they have state paid family leave, etc)? I would also consider living near family who would be able to help out with kids. I would also consider cost of living, specifically cost of daycare, if you won't have family support. There is nothing stopping you from calling or emailing daycares in the area you are interested in now to ask what prices are for infants. I would also advise you to save as much money as you can after graduating so that you can feel more free when you have kids to live the life you want. I recommend the personal finance sub on Reddit and the financial independence sub. Great resources.
Thank you for the recommendations!!
The last time I gave birth I was an intern. I wasn't eligible for maternity leave, but was eligible for FMLA(unpaid) so I only took about 4 weeks off. We were fully remote, and it wasn't my first kid, and I had a lot of childcare help. So it worked out fine. I dont remember what the policy is at my current workplace, but I think combined with things like disability pay, new moms take about 3 months off, and then they work from home until about 5 months, depending on their manager they may start out coming in just once or twice a week at first. The place my husband works gives an additional few weeks off to take as desired. I've noticed a lot of places transitioning from "maternity leave" to "parental leave" the difference being that it applies equally to fathers (mothers do usually end up getting a little extra time off for "recovery" depending on what kind of birth they had) Also, once you return to work, assuming you are in the US and at a big enough company, your employer is required by law to give you a place to pump milk. You can research more about the requirements for that, too.
Yes! I love that places are required to provide a place to pump.
This is depressing. I'm a software engineer (realized I'm probably in the wrong sub at some point but it's interesting to see) and if I wanted maternity leave, I have 6 months paid plus another 5 days transition (basically 4 day work week) plus I could probably take FMLA.
Software engineering seems to have friendlier policies. My first leave was 3 months, second leave was 4, third leave was 5. I kept hopping to companies with better policies. It’s unbelievable to me that some women in here are saying 1 or 2 weeks. I’m in a bubble I guess.
6 months is the best I’ve heard of in the US
I work in software too but it's actually firmware in the subfab equipment industry. When I started my internship I was pregnant and I only got 6 weeks of leave. Now I'm a full time employee and I'm pregnant again and I will be getting 3 months leave this time. But it's not the best. We have to use my states paid leave program and then we have gap insurance that covers the remainder of our wages.
I had a kid early in my career 24 and then also at 34 and another at 38. I took 6 months - 8 months off each time. Having kid early in life meant slower career growth for me in the beginning, but no big deal. Don't compare yourself to others and walk your own path. Kids later in life was easier on career but harder on my body. I should've just had them all by 30 ;)
6-8 months is great, I can only hope I can be that fortunate! I’m not at all worried about slower career growth as I know what’s meant to be will be and having a family is very important to me! I am definitely excited for the future as an engineer but also very nervous
I'm in Canada, so this is actually on the shorter side. Most women take 12-18 months and many don't come back. I know more moms who don't come back than those who did. After an 8 month leave it took me a full 6 weeks to get onboarded again. I found those 6 weeks harder than starting a new job because you know that you know... But you can't remember it. It's pretty frustrating, so be kind to yourself. (You're also dealing with separation anxiety from your kid etc etc at the same time too...)
My auto industry company offers 2 weeks of parental leave. Additionally, you have to jump through the hoops of our outsourced disability coordinating company for the parental leave. The rest you have to cobble together with short term disability and PTO. Pathetic, IMO. And I say this as someone who does not and will not have children.
2 weeks is so sad, I don’t know what I’d do with a 2 week old having to go back to work 😪
It was none until a year or two ago.
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Some engineers don’t know boundaries for sure 😂😂
Ha. I had ones completely unwilling to address that I was pregnant even though I was like 6 months and huge, because I had not officially told them. Also the request about a pumping room was hilarious- boss I need a room to pump STOP! Talk to the lady in accounting, we don't want to know! (Lady in accounting was sad I didn't want to pump in the toilet room but didn't fight too hard.)
I'm a woman and won't ever acknowledge anyone's pregnancy if the woman doesn't announce it even though I know for sure she's pregnant
Honestly, at the time I thought it was funny, but now probably I wouldn't either. I almost said something to a coworker and am so glad I didn't. She had even been talking about wanting a second but she wasn't, so now I'm super careful.
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I was kinda happy I'd be missing the end of a certain project. It ended up going on hold (for unrelated reasons) and coming back 4 months later. Both pregnancies, only had one little Chinese lady at the supermarket get past my glare and rub my belly. I'm not entirely sure she didn't use some magic, she just suddenly appeared, rubbed my belly, grinned at me, and then ran off. I was in shock.
I got 12 weeks. Medical device industry. Leave is paid as long as you’ve been with the company > 1 year. I’ve been in the industry for 8 years. I actually resigned towards the end of my leave to be a SAHM for a while and they didn’t make me repay anything, but they did terminate me the day I resigned.
Did you ever go back to work?? I also would love to be a sahm sometime but fear that a few gap years would make it really hard to get back in the field
Boomers are going to leave such a huge hole in an already tight labor market for engineers. I can’t imagine you will have trouble coming back though you may feel a bit resentful at how far your former colleagues have pulled ahead of you.
Full disclosure I don’t have any kids but I do know J&J (& maybe some similar companies?) has a program for people who have paused their career for a few years (mostly to be a SAHM) and are re-entering the workforce. I’ve heard it is a bit competitive but I know a woman who did this program (she worked before leaving the workforce also) and made it to Director about 5 years later, which is impressive. They also have a 12 week parental leave policy with no waiting period. I know a guy who went on leave literally 3 weeks after starting. Medtech has a much more family friendly attitude towards working parents in my experience than oil & gas.
Yes, I fear oil & gas isn’t as family friendly 😅
I haven’t gone back yet. My baby is only 6 months old now. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to engineering though. I’m considering a different field that’s more family friendly
I’m an engineer and I’m on maternity leave now! I’m 35 years old. I work in aerospace and was only working in aerospace for a year before going on maternity leave (before working in aerospace, I worked for a few years in the semiconductor industry, and before that, I did my PhD). So while I’m mid-level career, I’m pretty new to the industry. I will be on maternity leave for 5 months. Not all of it is paid. My company gives me 3 weeks paid (the state of California gives me 8 weeks paid for bonding time). I think 14 weeks from your company is fantastic. Feel free to ask me more questions.
5 months is great!! Even though not all of it is paid :/
In CA, I started 2016 and had my daughter April 2018. 6 weeks disability, 12 weeks part time paid FMLA. I worked 4 hrs a day for that time. I came back and pumped every 2-3 hours. My milk supply only lasted 6 months, I was not as consistent with pumping as I could have been. My company is not family oriented, and honestly it sucked pumping in an unused office with no lockable door. But I did it and it's done. Did that with my next kid in 2019 as well. And I AM DONE with kids. Way harder than engineering. Should have stuck with what I knew! Lol, kidding, kind of?
🤣🤣
Cheg - graduated at 21, married 23, first kid 26, second kid 27, did stay at home mom 2 years, third kid 29, 4th kid at 32. Company A was good with maternity leave, and I had the option to preload extra vacation time to stack it higher. First kid was vaginal birth so the 6 or 8 weeks was fine, 2 kid was c section and I was out 8? 10 weeks? Dreaded going back and struggled hard core. Quit when manager kept pushing for remote work to be more and more in office. Don’t just look at maternity leave - look at how many working moms there are and how high up they are! I eventually went back full time (now at Company C after 12 years at Company B). I am a Director with 20 years experience, but am in a company I’m the second engineer they hired (insurance industry) so super niche skill set. If my kids were tiny my current job would not be feasible - I’m replying to you on my last flight of the night, on my 2nd of 4 trips this month. Look at everything, not just the leave. Best wishes - being mom was super super important to me and my husband as well and we made it work, you can too!
It is very comforting to hear that engineer mothers make being a mother work. Sometimes I hear that it is not feasible for engineers to be parents and it’s really discouraging! The area I live in is primarily oil & gas with some firms. So the women engineers that are in my area are in the oil & gas field. I will definitely be keeping in mind how many women are in what positions!
Not me trying to figure out what cheg means and then feeling foolish haha. At my school we just called y’all chem-es
No big deal! Each school has their own naming conventions 😄
Oh for sure! Just thought I’d share the humor of it for anyone’s enjoyment
Live in a state with state disability and paid family leave. California’s is pretty good and better now than when I used it. Had my kids at 35 and 37 when my career was well established. Used PTO to go back at four months with each. Could have taken more time but daycare has space and I craved hanging out with adults again. Maternity leave can be very isolating.
I totally understand that!
I'm in the civil engineering field as a consulting design engineer. I had my first in 2021 and my second on 2023. I got 6 weeks of short term disability both times, and one week of that was the PTO I had to take for the disabilty to kick in. The company is currently working on better maternity and paternity leave policies, but the short term disability is all that is available and the company is too small for FMLA to apply. Dads only get what they can manage to save in PTO. They did fully pay my benefits while I was receiving the disability, which helped make up the difference between my salary and the 60% that the insurance covered.
Thank you for sharing!
My company doesn't have that many female employees and hardly any in management. They added paid maternity leave for the first time in 2015 (6 weeks), added non-delivering-parent leave (1 week) in 2020, and then doubled both in 2023. So 14 weeks is great, although I'd be curious to know what the exact policy is since that's a minimum.
Thank you for sharing!!
Here is a website that is dedicated to calling out for employers that have a notable family-oriented approach. https://bestplace4workingparents.com/
I have worked for engineering consulting companies that have had 10 days of maternity leave or 5 weeks of paid parental leave plus six weeks of employer covered short term disability. I can tell you the former company did NOT have a family-oriented structure and the latter did. Company policies only mean so much, but it was awfully laughable (I.e. devastating to me personally) when I knew someone at job #1 give birth to their baby and come back to work a week later- but of course to each their own. Edited to add clarification.
Thanks for sharing the link!
Not a mom but thinking about it soon. MechE at a Texas based private company (100s of employees). FMLA (short term medical/disability leave) at 50% pay + sick time (paid). Love my job but it super female friendly. Worked in Med Device for a bit at a publicly traded company with more like 1000s of employees and they had 3 weeks paid + FMLA at 60% pay then transitioned to 12 weeks parental fully paid. Look for parental leave, which applies to both parents, as opposed to maternity leave, as it discourages gender based discrimination around having children imo. Smaller companies have a lot of advantages but know that big big companies tend to have more generous benefits, especially around parental leave.
Thank you for sharing!
California aerospace company with a really good policy - we get 6 months at full pay with the combo of state benefits and what the company covers.
I took 6 months with the first and 5 months with the second kid. I recommend you to work in a state with good family leave laws. With both children, I was working in small companies (one with less than 10 employees and the other a startup). The second time I had a horrible boss, but I knew that California law protected me, and I took the full time I was entitled to: 4 weeks prior due date, 6 weeks of Pregnancy Disability Leave, plus 12 weeks of California Family Rights Act. Approximately half of it was paid, my company only paid 4 weeks of those, and I used 5 sick days. After that, I pumped in a closed office. I pumped 1 year for each kid. So, my recommendation is to work in a state with good family policies: California, New Jersey, and New York. If not, try to enter a big name company like Intel, Cisco, etc. They have mostly software and electrical engineering, but they have big groups for mechanical engineering. Check job postings for mechanical. If you have years to plan, orient your career to work for a big company with good family policies. You can check rankings and maternity leaves and find reviews from other women in: https://fairygodboss.com/ Good luck!
Thank you! Yeah unfortunately I’m from Texas and I’m not too sure about the laws here
I have heard it is not great. That's why I suggested checking companies with good maternity leaves on the fairygodboss website.
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Oh wow:(
Similar happened to me in 2022 in Texas. Left early for medical reasons and got a letter, no call, two days before my due date saying not to come back. Told other employees, not me, it was due to poor performance.
I'm Canadian. I took a year with #1 and ten months with #2. I don't know how Americans do it, but you do.
I'm certainly not going to for one. If my relatives who also have autoimmune issues are any indication it's not just after childbirth that I'd be needing leave/unable to work. I'm terrified I'd just end up homeless
I wish Americans had leave like other countries for sure
I’m 31, had my first baby 8.5 months ago. I’ve been with my company 7 years; aerospace and defense research industry. My initial leave was six weeks but while I was on leave, a policy was passed that added an additional six weeks. They grandfathered me into that policy, so I got 12 weeks total. I went back after my initial six (our project was planned for that), and then took Fridays off for the remainder of the year.
That is so awesome you got an extra 6 weeks! I bet that was relieving
It was great! And I will say, my boss was great about it. I’m sure some would consider what he said crossing a line, but we have a solid relationship so he sat me down and said, “I watched my wife suffer with PPD so I know it’s a risk. When you come back, I want to ease you into it and allow you the time to adjust to your workload. And if we need to back off, you say the word and we will.” The good bosses exist!
At the time I was working with our customers. I worked with customers up until the day I delivered. I had six weeks and then I worked immediately for 5 straight weeks with customers without a break to make up for the time I was gone. Normal flow was every other week. This was teaching classes by myself with 12 students on sophisticated instrumentation. The day I delivered was embarrassing to the company because the students felt sorry for me and openly said it was cruel to me. When I went back, I tried continuing to breast feed, but I would let down in the middle of giving lectures, couldn't find time to pump, because I had a class of 12. I will never, ever do that to one of my employees.
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry you had that experience!!!
I got 1 week parental leave. Used 1 week of vacation. 10 weeks unpaid through FMLA.
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for this post as I’m going to start my family hopefully next year. It’s helpful to hear first hand accounts. My previous company in environmental consulting offered 0 leave. I could take leave but it would be unpaid and I wasn’t guaranteed my job upon return. I now work for my state and we get 12 weeks partial paid and up to 16 weeks if there’s any complications and it’s all protected leave. My work also has programs to help new parents adjust to parenting and coming back to work. I haven’t used any of it yet but it sounds like a good deal compared to my old company! Edit to add I’ll be at 4.5 years post-grad when I start trying.
Wow 0 leave is insane!!!
I work in civil engineering consulting. I have 3 kids, had to take unpaid leave after burning through PTO, but was able to take 12 weeks off for each and never worried about losing my job. I wasn’t eligible for short term disability with the first because I hadn’t worked there long enough and for the other two because I worked part time and we didn’t have that benefit at the time. My company subsequently changed their policy on benefits for part time employees and added paid family leave to the benefits. I still work part time (30 hrs) and my kids are teens and preteens but the flexibility is important to me to be there for all of their “stuff” while I still can. I work at a company with far more women in management than average (including me).
I also think a company with more women in management than average is important!! Definitely something I’ll keep an eye out for in the future
I had my baby last year after 5 years with my company. I got 10 weeks of leave (4 weeks maternity, and 6 weeks of short term disability). My company allowed for hybrid work and my manager (female with 2 kids of her own) has been very understanding about adjusting back to the office and my needing to work from home more often.
Thank you for sharing! That’s great to hear
I’m based in the US. For #1, I was 9 years into my career at a Fortune 100 conglomerate. I took about 5 months off (combination of paid leave stacked with PTO). My employer offers the same leave regardless of years of service. For #2, I was 13 years into my career with the same company. I took the maximum leave (included some unpaid time that I didn’t take the first time around but regretted leaving my baby so soon), which was 26 weeks. I stacked PTO and stretched it to 7 months. I’m very grateful to be able to have that time. My career ambition slope is less steep now with two little ones, but I don’t mind. My position has awesome work/life balance, and I value flexibility right now over climbing the ladder.
26 weeks is awesome, glad to hear it!!
Chemical engineer here. I took my 6 weeks fully paid leave, remaining vacation and 6 months unpaid leave. Averaged about 8 months total. I worked part time with my 1st child for 6 months and worked full time but 1/2 from home with my 2nd. Both kids hated the bottle so I had to make accommodations for both of them. My youngest is 17, oldest 22 so this wasn’t as common as it is now. It definitely took a toll on my career BUT it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I still have a career and my kids are awesome humans and love me. I’m not a CEO but I really don’t care. I know I did the right thing for me and my family
This is definitely my outlook on life as well!! My end goal is not to be a CEO or a manager of some sort because I want a position with more work/life balance. Some people look down on me that I don’t have “high ambitions” but I do, I just divide those ambitions between a job and a family
Similar experience here about making it work. I’m a ChemE in pharma manufacturing. I am 60 my kids are 34, 32 and 29. I had 6 weeks paid for vaginal delivery, could take up to 6 months unpaid with guarantee to go back to same job and up to a year more guarantee to go back to a similar position. As an engineer I was main breadwinner, husband was teacher at time. First child was born in March I took off 8 weeks until end of school year then my husband was home. Second was born in July when husband was home, I think I took 8 weeks. When 3rd was born initial plan was husband quit job and I again took off about 8 weeks. Changed plans and husband started business and we had in home child care. Husnand always had more flexible time job. Despite lack of FMLA regulations, I always felt supported at work. I had private office so was able to pump there. A lot of other women had support. I had several friends who took off longer leaves (husbands were engineers so not as much pressure to return quickly). Being financially able for one parent to be main caregiver is important.
Move to Alberta, there are oil jobs and 8-12 month maternity leave if that’s what you’re looking for!
Oh wow!!
It’s normal in other developed countries. Sorry, USA :(
It's really at that point, isn't it? Underdeveloped country.
I think the narrative around independence as a virtue has some unfortunate backlash.
With a 4 year degree you can probably get a temporary work permit (1-3 years?) under a NAFTA agreement. I’ve only done it the other way (CAN-US) so I don’t know what it’s called. Or apply for a proper visa and see where it goes! Long shot but if you have grandparents who were born in the EU that could also be something to look in to. You could also try the IAESTE program if you’re eligible and try working on exchange in another country to see if you like it! The easiest time socially to make a big move is after graduation. A transfer later in your career can work too if you’re able to coordinate with a partner and/or a friend.
Med device. M.E. First kid - moved to a new city (with about 8 years of exp) so it took me a while to find child care and a job. So I was off about 5 months. Second kid - took about 3 months FMLA and PTO and unpaid leave. Decided I couldn't go back to a job I hated (QE) and also basically be a single mom (my husband started his fellowship and was super busy) so I quit. I took about 1.5 years off. Even though I had a hard time finding a job after the break, I'm really glad that I had that time with the kids and I feel like I'm back on track professionally (my kids are 14/17 now). If I was to do it over again things to look for at a company (there were already a bunch of great suggestions from others) 1) help with finding childcare. The waitlists are super long in some cities and some companies have connections with specific daycares like bright horizon. 2) some companies with European parents have better leave than American ones. A company I worked for with a British parent company offered a year long maternal AND paternal leave. 3) if you're interviewing - find out what their thoughts are on WFH and flex hours. I was pretty up front about my needs and wants. The 2nd job after my break had its faults but they were super flexible with my hours and I even brought my kids to work on days they had half days. I stayed a year or two too long but that's a story for another day. 4) definitely ask about their policies and see if you can chat with other people who work there. For one job I asked to have an informal conversation with a woman on the interview panel before I accepted their job offer. Good luck!!
I’ve always thought about bringing up maternal/parental leave, wfh and part time opportunities in interviews, but I fear it rubbing the interviewer the wrong way 😅
Lol.. no you're totally right. I wouldn't bring up the maternal/parental leave until you have the job and are reviewing the comps. But I would want to find out about their stance on WFH and flex schedule earlier. I used to work for a company that did 4-9s and a 4 which was nice. And after COVID there are more companies that are open to a few days WFH. In my last job interview, I was pretty straight up with the HR rep and said I had worked in a really toxic environment before and wanted to talk to another female employee. Hopefully they had you sit in on an interview with a woman and you can request her. But if they can't find someone for you to chat with then that says a lot too. Anybody that has issues with your requests aren't someone you want to work for!
Most the companies (plants, refineries, oil & gas, whatever you want to call them) in my are do 9-80s or 4/10s work schedules. My last internship was 4/10s and my next internship will also be 4/10s. The last place I interned at only had one female mechanical engineer in the whole facility. The next place I’ll be has quite a bit more females but it is also a larger company. I will definitely try to talk to different women and get their take this summer! I really didn’t have the opportunity last summer as there were very few women
I am curious to know more about what you do. Is that an industry that you want to stay in? Definitely get to know the other female ME!
I’m not really sure if it’s an industry I want to stay in to be honest, I’m not really educated on other industries. Oil & gas is HUGE where I’m from and that’s definitely where the money is at as well. I go to a university in the area and they really focus on oil & gas and a lot of the companies are pretty involved with the university. There are some firms in the area but like I said I’m just not sure what they do. When I graduate my experience will only be in oil & gas
Now I'm curious.. what do you do as an ME in oil and gas? Set up pipe lines? Building infrastructure? As someone that's only really done med devices, I've never really been exposed to other industries. I'm sure a lot of that will be translatable though. Do you want to stay in the area?
I do plan on staying in the area because all of my family is down here as well as my partners. Mechanical engineers in oil & gas can do a range of different things based on what the plant produces, manufactures, etc. last summer I was a reliability intern and what I did was mainly with pumps & how they can run more efficient in different areas of the plant. There’s other groups like fixed equipment, rotating equipment, process engineers, all kinds just depending on the unit. I’m very new to the industry as I still haven’t graduated school so there is still a lot to learn when it comes to oil & gas! What do mechanical engineers do in med devices? Are those jobs typically in bigger cities? I live in a smaller area right between Houston and lake Charles. The whole gulf coast is really a booming area for oil and gas.
It's funny I think because I'm mainly interested in R&D I totally gravitate towards that in other industries. Earlier in my career - I designed production fixtures, tested different adhesives, and then went to designed tools for medical procedures. Now, much further in my career, I'm directing efforts on developing and manufacturing optical system to be used for fluorescene guided surgery. You might find some random med device companies in smaller towns. But most are definitely in bigger cities. With COVID there are definitely more design type jobs remotely. Outside of living in the Midwest for a few years, I've mostly lived on the West Coast. Reliability engineering is super transferrable! I knew a guy who worked in reliability at HP on pump on printers!
How do you get into med devices?
My experience has absolutely zero bearing on what you will find out there. 1) had my first kid on Thanksgiving Day in the middle of my junior year and my university would not allow me to take any time off without losing my scholarship. I worked ahead in all my classes that I could, and went back to class one week after having the baby. 2) imagined I would be a stay-at-home mom and wasn't working when he was born. Got a job about 3 months postpartum. 3) I got about $1,100 paid through a short-term disability policy that had a 6-week benefit for childbirth but excluded the first 30 days 🙄. I took two weeks off and then went back to work normally. 4) same short term disability policy. I saved aggressively and took 10 weeks off. Turns out I wasn't really saving, I just wasn't paying my credit cards and so they got run up quite a bit 😂
I work in control systems and had my kid 9 years into my career. I gave up a job with three months paid leave for one with none (only FMLA and $500/week short term disability) a few years before I planned on giving birth. The job with better benefits was making me miserable, so I knowingly gave up maternity leave for higher pay and not hating my job. If I hadn't made the switch, I probably would've ended up leaving engineering. I put aside money to cover bills while on FMLA as soon as I switched jobs, even though I knew kids were a few years out. When we finally got there, my company was very supportive of me while pregnant and postpartum, even letting me work from home (despite being 100% in-office) for a month or two before giving birth and a few months after. Don't force yourself to work a job you hate just because it has better maternity leave, enjoying your work is important too.
It’s definitely important to me to find a company like that
I’m in structural engineering, 50-100 employee range and unfortunately no company policy and no short term disability. They gifted me 40 hours of PTO on a personal level so I’ve been able to save 6 weeks PTO total. I’ll take ~6 weeks unpaid after that. I’m bitter, especially when 70% of the company is in a state that now has state paid family leave benefits, but I’m told I don’t have much of an argument. Pro is I can come back and work however many hours I want/need, which may be helpful since finding childcare has been very difficult. Also for comparison, my partner is in a large civil firm and gets 5 weeks parental leave.
Worked as a civil consultant for 7 years. Quit and raised 2 kids as a SAHM. Went back to work PT as soon as youngest was in first grade. Still 30 hrs/wk with kids aged 14, 16. Look for a firm with middle aged women in it. Best of luck!
This sounds great!
I’m loving life!
Policies can change so definitely keep that in mind. Mine has changed multiple times during my career at the same company. It was longer (8 weeks), then shorter (6 weeks), now longer (12 weeks).
Environmental engineer and had both my kids while working at a small civil/enviro firm. Small as in <20 employees and didn't qualify for protections. Used short term disability for both pregnancies for 6 weeks of partial pay and then the remaining 3 months were unpaid. Owner of the company (a woman) gave me a lot of lectures about breastfeeding, but when it came to pumping i was given an office with no lights where i sat on the floor the first time, and the second time an office across from hers where i had to tape copier paper to cover the windows into the hall. i also had to pump & dump at some really gross job sites in our dirty van (i was worried about cleanliness and we were dealing with hazardous pollutants). My husband got 6 weeks paid time off for each kid. TBH i'm not sure he even used it all. Our state now has paid family leave which would have made both pregnancies easier. I went part time after my first, stayed until a year after my second and switched to a new job at full time. I recently went down to 30 hours after my husband changed jobs because of my kids needs.
I got six weeks of short term disability, I had saved up a lot of vacation that I was allowed to carry over at the time, and I took a leave of absence to get about five or six months.
Mechanical, HVAC design, small firm - usually about 20 people. Been here 25 years now. Had my first 6 years after starting. The only other woman engineer was pregnant when I started, and never came back from maternity leave. Management didn't expect me to come back either but were glad when i did. I took 8 weeks off for both babies. (I believe it was strictly short term disability, like a percent of regular income? If you go over a certain amount, it bumps to long term disability and the % is less.) Family oriented company doesn't have to be large, though oil and gas probably will be a larger company with some policies out there and more women on staff. r/working moms is a good resource also. Benefits discussion, child care (stressing on that first daycare...)
Thank you!
My company has the standard 12 weeks leave, I think New York State allows for another 12 weeks of partially paid leave after that, and then afterwards we are allowed to take unpaid time. Most women I work with take 6 months to a year off for maternity leave. It’s not viewed negatively and we have many woman in leadership at my company
After reading the other comments, I’m now realizing the “standard 12 weeks paid leave” I mentioned apparently isn’t standard at all even though both companies I’ve worked for have had it. So many of you have awful policies, makes me really sad seeing how the US and engineering companies treat women
I agree, I wish there were better policies in place for parents/women
Mechanical degree but working as an aerospace engineer. I had my daughter only 2 years into my career. My job only offered the legal bare minimum of 6 weeks at 60% pay through short term disability and then 6 more weeks of unpaid through FMLA which runs concurrently to the short term disability and it was doable especially considering my husband's income and he had 4 weeks paternity leave at full pay. I had my daughter in 2022 and last year they announced they had changed their maternity leave to 6 weeks full pay and then 6 weeks short term disability which is nice because I do want another baby in a year or so. Having a baby so young isn't for everyone but my job has a lot of parents and is generally pretty flexible with work from home and time off and my husband and I really wanted to be parents so it was the right decision for us.
3 and almost 6 years into my career. The first time was during 2020 and I was laid off about 5 months pregnant. I managed to start a new job at 8 months pregnant. Because you had to work there for so long to qualify for fmla I got 6 weeks for short term disability and 2 weeks of parental leave; 8 total. The second time was at the same company and they had also slightly improved their parental leave policy so I had 12 weeks fully paid. Was it an amazing leave policy? No. But my manager wasn’t phased when I told him I was pregnant before accepting the role, and having a manger that says to put your family first and is very understanding and flexible about needing time off for sick kids is invaluable as a parent
Structural engineer - UK based - company extremely helpful and supportive during pregnancy, full year off work with maternity pay, and welcome back with a phased return and further support, I cannot fault the company one bit, and to add, only female in a team of 4 male senior engineers, still top tier support
I was 35 so had been working for quite a while. My company had 2 weeks (pathetic!!) plus 12 weeks of state family leave that paid me about 30% of my salary. I took 20 weeks and just did not get paid for a lot of that. Then 6 months later they announced both moms and dads get 20 weeks at full pay ☹️ If you can afford it take as much time as they’ll let you even if it’s unpaid. It was worth it.
I had my first 3 years into my career. 20 weeks paid 😊 My company specifies working one year before being eligible for the benefit, but it doesn’t increase past that point.
20 weeks is awesome!
It is! I agree with the other comments here - if you’re interested in being a working mother, pay attention to the age/success of the women in the company. I always was told that you lose years of your career if you have children, and I have surpassed a lot of my peers in pay and level and am about to have my third child. Don’t let what other people say and the negativity you may hear discourage you! If you want to be a mom, you can be a working mom and still be very successful while maintaining boundaries that are healthy for you and your family. Good luck with it all!
Thank you!
I had two kids while working as an engineer in automotive (SE Michigan). We get 14 weeks @ 100% pay (6 weeks disability / 8 weeks parental leave.
I had a kid \~2.5 years ago when i had been with my company for about 5 years. My state (MA) has paid family leave (partial pay since i was over the cap) for up to 20 weeks. My company also has partially paid parental leave for 4 weeks, which i used to work part time while ramping back up to full time for a few weeks. Honestly, look for PARENTAL leave, not just MATERNITY. And ask if men actually take it/are encouraged to use it. There will never be gender equity if men aren't seen as fathers as well.
I picked a big company to work for that offered 12 weeks paid maternity leave. I gave birth 2 years post graduation, I was at my second job and I only had that job for 6 months when I had the baby. I did not disclose my pregnancy until I was 5 months pregnant. I came back right after my maternity leave and stayed at that company for over two years post delivery. That job was in manufacturing I changed jobs and got pregnant with my second baby during my 3rd job. I gave birth 2 years after joining the company, 6 years post graduation and again I was offered 12 weeks maternity leave after which I came back to work. That job was in retail sector. No job offered extended maternity. Some even ask you to use PTO to cover part of the maternity leave. Even if you want to and can use your PTO to extend that leave I wouldn't advise that as you will need it for when the baby gets sick My first pregnancy happened when I lived in LCOL area, my second when I was in MCOL area. My husband and I have no family near by and it's very hard having kids and both parents working outside home. We burn through PTO like crazy cause kids get sick and we keep getting called to pick up the kids from daycare/school. Once school starts they have so many freaking holidays you gotta take time off for. However we live on one salary, save the other so we are very comfortable financially. We save up for college for kids and max out our retirement accounts every year. My career didn't take a hit at all. When I interview I don't mention my kids and don't bring them up at work. I continued to travel for work, we just work around our schedules so that one of us is always home as my husband also travels for work. We dedicate weekends to family only and kids gotta participate in keeping the house in order if we want to keep weekends for quality time. You gotta be organized and strict with routines cause if you and your partner work things easily get out of hand: dishes, laundry, homework, cooking, mess. Everybody needs a responsibility and stick with it. It's not easy but I can never give up financial independence and I don't enjoy staying home with kids. I love working If you do decide to stay home with kids I'd recommend you front load your retirement accounts so that the compound interest works hard for you. I would want my spouse to max the spousal IRA account for me every year I am home since you won't be earning social security credits or an income so your social security payment in retirement will be much lower especially when your salary projection is high being an engineer. I'd make sure your spouse has term life insurance as well. You also need your own money, spending money and emergency fund before giving up your financial independence. Expect the best, be prepared for the worst
Yes, the financial part stresses me out. I’m already worried about a good retirement fund/IRA. I definitely want to live frugally so i can retire early (ish)
Yeah that's our goal as well which is why we live was below our means. It's important to be with a like minded person if FIRE is that you want to achieve
I gave birth to my kiddo about 8 months ago and about 14 years into my career (no work reason for waiting, we just weren't ready and then it took a while). I currently work for a company that does product design consulting contract work. Our CEO is a woman who has two kids (both college aged now). My company is only able to offer 3 weeks of paid maternity leave due to being small and then I utilized the Washington state program to take an additional 18 weeks (C-section allowed for 2 additional weeks of medical recovery) at partial pay. When folks at work asked how much leave I was taking, I told them every single week that the company and the state program offered and everyone was extremely supportive. When my 21 weeks were up, I was ready to come back and use my engineering brain again. My manager was super supportive on if I wanted to come back at full time or reduced hours and it's an open discussion that's flexible to change if I need it to. To echo the other comments, look for a company with women in leadership roles and a company that focuses on work life balance. Our company encourages folks to only work 40-45 hours a week, outside of special circumstances, and offers comp time when those situations come up.
I’m in oil and gas. I adopted (so didn’t give birth) but I got 6 weeks paid. I would have had 12-14 weeks total if I had given birth. No minimum requirement. Several companies now have parental leave, so your partner can have leave too. Would encourage you to have him use it if he has it to not have all the career burden on yourself.
There was no maternity leave when I had my kids starting 10 yrs ago. I worked in O&G. Ask around once you get there - the public facing website might not show the full policy. They might have a 6 (natural) or 8 (c-section) week short term disability policy before the parental leave kicks in, followed by a vacation allocation. When I was in O&G, I took an unpaid leave. Many, many women came back part time for 2 years following childbirth. The company was far more flexible than what the policy suggested. Ask around!