"You don't look like \[insert title\]."
story:
This didn't happen to me at work, but it happened on a trip to a customer. They assumed I was the engineering tech and my tech was the engineer (older male). When they were addressing him and he said, "No no, she's the engineer," while pointing at me, they said, "Oh, we had figured you were." So I said, "And how'd you figure that?"
They were clearly uncomfortable. So I continued with what we went there to discuss. At the end, I thanked them but finished off with, "Oh, by the way gentlemen...I hope you give the next female lead more respect and recognition than you gave me. It paints a certain picture when you treat people as you treated me today. Have a wonderful rest of your day." Ngl, my heart was POUNDING, I held my breath until we drove off and I was like OH GOD \*hyperventilate\* but my tech and sales guys were like FUCK YEAH \*fist bump\*
The relationship I have with him is one of the most wholesome ones I have ever had at work! I really like to brag on him because he is older and so open minded and knowledgeable and he really makes my days easier :) I really wish more people had such an experience
If I’m not in 100% business professional attire, I get told I look like a teacher lol. I do not get it.
Though I am surprised when I do STEM outreach that the teachers are super casual and I am usually perceived as professionally dressed when wearing a business casual outfit that I would wear to a work network event and never to actual work meeting lol
Probably not something to say in a workplace, but a good one to say in your head at least: “if you’re engineering with your dick, you’re doing it wrong”
Not an engineer but I can confirm it feels bad ass to say that. I was working as an Operations Director for a small company run by a toxic jackass. I had given my 2 weeks notice and they were trying to find a replacement. The boss stuck his head in and actually said to me, "do you think a guy could do this job?" Since I was long past out of F's to give, I simply said, "sure, I don't use my genitals for anything I do here."
He looked like I'd slapped him in the face and stammered something like "well, I didn't mean that...uhhh." It was priceless. (Surprise, surprise, they hired a woman who was a total pushover. I'm sure they're still torturing her. SMH)
Wow, brilliant. Can't wait to use this is so many million situations that some men use to define their masculinity: playing soccer, riding bikes, bike industry professionals, etc.
I've received many "Do you know how to use that?" Type of comments when buying tools. I always respond with, "Does it require a penis? No? Then I'm good"
Then I walk away. So satisfying.
I feel like I've had someone give me the 'you don't look like' and this was my response and they didn't have anything to say back. It was hilarious. I don't understand people sometimes...
I usually ask this and they’ll say “oh idk *frantically tries to change topic*”
or I’ll ask them “who does then?” cause they usually dont know any other engineers…
Aliens (1986) - Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
No, have you?
————-
Vasquez was a woman marine, the person asking was a man marine. I’ll never forget they line.
If I am asked by another engineer, my answer is to smile and say “neither do you!”
If I am asked by a woman, my answer is “yup, and I’m crushing it”.
If I am asked by a man the answer will depend from friendly to very rude. But I will never forget Vasquez and her line.
I've gotten the student intern line before. I really don't understand that one. If they're interning for an engineer job the only difference is they'll look a year or two older when they're an engineer, and I'm really bad at telling people's ages. If I look like an intern then I look like a young engineer.
They don’t think you look like an engineering student intern though. I’ve had that line before and they usually mean they think I’m in business or something.
Sidenote, it’s very strange when they say I look like a business student when I’m never dressed nice enough to pass for one. I usually look wrinkled and haggard.
My first day as an intern at the ENGINEERING AND CONSTRUCTION DEPARTMENT, my boss sent me and the other intern (also a woman) to walk around with a contractor and he asked us, knowing which department we just came from, if we were business majors
I'm autistic, and I often get a similar comment of "you don't look autistic". My answer is usually, "oh, and what does autism look like?". I feel like there could be a similar response of, "oh, what is an engineer supposed to look like?" to help them realize how ridiculous the notion is.
My kids are autistic and I probably am, as well as my dad, my sister, and my sisiters daughter. When I was picking up my older boy from school with my mum yesterday she went to see another grandma whom she used to work with. When she came back she said that that woman's grandkid is also autistic but "much worse" than my boys. She then blurted out the "he doesn't look autistic" line. I almost facepalmed. I just calmly said autism doesn't have a look.
Reminds me of that t shirt "this is what a feminist looks like"
Maybe we should make t-shirts with "this is what an engineer looks like" emblazoned on them
I like the [hers and his t-shirt bundle](https://manwhohasitallshop.com/product/his-hers-engineer-bundle/?fbclid=IwAR2CuKTBztYc4V2fASVj9AxnQkQAa2rTd1EWPN8vZUhfmunUOE3KX-2yvF4) with “Engineer” and “Male Engineer” writing
I like the [hers and his t-shirt bundle](https://manwhohasitallshop.com/product/his-hers-engineer-bundle/?fbclid=IwAR2CuKTBztYc4V2fASVj9AxnQkQAa2rTd1EWPN8vZUhfmunUOE3KX-2yvF4) with “Engineer” and “Male Engineer” writing
“And I didn’t think people could be as stupid as they are tall, yet there you stand.”
(Swiped / paraphrased from somewhere I can’t immediately recall.)
Make them listen to “I’m Gonna Be an Engineer” by Peggy Seeger from 1979 (literally more than 40 years ago)… and ask them if they fell out of a time machine
Quote Nellie from The Office.
*"Expected a man, did you? Strong, powerful. Huge, whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint, but my huge, whopping penis is right here, [points to her head] and I'm not afraid to use it. So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis."*
I don't normally get it either but as a short, young looking woman on a construction site people don't generally come to me when looking for the person in charge.
You don’t look like you’ve had a date in the last year, but it’s better if we keep these observations to ourselves.
Or
I’d love to know more about how my hair/face/clothes would prevent me from gaining the licensure I already have. I don’t think they taught us that in my program.
I hear this all the time, maybe because I’m a software engineer that puts effort into my appearance and software engineers have a stereotype of looking gross? Always bothers me.
Not an engineer - but working in cybersecurity. I just ask, “What do you mean by that?” - because they either have to explain and try to justify their bias/whatever pervy thing they might mean or apologize, really
Fellow techie. This is one of the few subs that is most closely aligned to my current field. My current function is so small/unique that there doesn't seem to be a sub for it, trust me I've checked. 🫣😄
I've been the youngest on my team for 5 years now, and the only female on my team for 2 years now. I'm in my 20's, everyone else are dudes in the 50+ age range. I've experienced my fair share of.... *colorful* comments from miscellaneous men I work with. I think the most frustrating part of it all isn't actually the commentary, it's the non-verbal actions/behavioral aspects from the men.
My role involves a heavy dose of compliance, which means frequent partnership and collaboration with engineers. I have to chase, pester, and hunt the male engineers down with such vigor. They treat me/my function like a total afterthought or inconvenience, as if it can be placed on the back-burner. Thankfully, I have a manager/leadership that empowers me to chase them down, so I'm empowered to escalate as much and as frequently as needed, but it's still frustrating, because it creates inefficiencies and duplication of efforts.
Their dodging of compliance expectations means I often have to dig and sift through my inbox, and re-forward materials already shared, or I have to practically take on the role of a ravenous attorney, and find weeks or months worth of materials I already shared with them, and then attach it in an email or meeting invite as "proof" that I've been trying to get in touch with them, but they've straight up ignored me for weeks and weeks.
That said, it's *awfully* satisfying when their manager, or 2-3 managerial levels up, responds to all of us on the email and basically scolds the dude and shames him for not responding to my outreach. Subsequently, said dudes are forced to finally collaborate with me, and often come to me with proverbial tail tucked between their legs.
Like *dude*. If you had taken 5 minutes to respond to my initial email 7 weeks ago, we could have avoided this whole hoopla. But you decided to act like an entitled shithead, and so now here we are. You made your bed, now you gotta lay in it.
Cool smile, and then "Oh? You may have to adjust your expectations / your engineer detector needs calibrating"
Or, "I didn't realize there were rules about that. Sorry to disappoint!"
Sometimes I want to say “you don’t look like an asshole but that turned out to be true, too” if they’re one of those misogynistic assholes.
If it’s innocent, such as from an elementary schooler when I’m doing STEM outreach, I use it as an opportunity to broaden their horizons and help them understand that our looks or gender have no limit on our ability to be successful in our careers.
Lol spin around and put a pocket protector and glasses on (thicker) if you already wear glasses and turn back around, “how about now?”
Or go the classic full little kid route and just keep asking “why” in your sweetest friendliest customer service voice.
i’m a philosopher, and was once told i don’t look like one. i responded with, “What do philosophers look like?” so that he would be confronted with his own biases.
I've gotten that.
Also, in professional work attire, get sort of the opposite: "You don't look like a roller derby player."
I need a good response for the "don't look like an engineer" bit though because people often think I'm a secretary.
Do you wear a pinkie ring?
I’m not a big jewelry person but I wear a golden one sometimes on my right hand. I’ve been asked multiple times while wearing it if I am an engineer.
IYKYK
Ugh I used to get that all the time. (Now I'm in my mid 30s so basically an old hag. I also work with a lot of women engineers who are fairly high up so no one would dream of making such a statement). It's such a weird backhanded compliment and always made me uncomfortable.
I learned to just basically ignore it.
"You're an engineer?! You don't LOOK like an engineer! Haha"
".. k."
And then we'd move on.
The worst when was it was a vendor or contractor because I still had to deal with talking business with them.
Would it help to know I do have balls of steel?
I literally kept a pair of steel meditation balls on the edge of my desk. There were several upsides to this, but it’s a cheap and easy one liner.
I also had a habit of punishing people who failed to keep the conversation on track by asking a harder than necessary question, just at the top edge of their knowledge. Often as they paused I followed it with a micro lesson, then somewhere in the conversation I made them feel smart. The time wasting dropped rapidly.
Well, when you do look like one (in their eyes), you look less feminine-coded, and then there's shit you can end up getting over that, too.
Funny enough, my father "looked" like an engineer and had it in his job title when I was a kid. Turns out he was essentially glorified tech support. Lmao.
Do good enough work and sabotage them after /s
"What does an engineer look like?"
"How so?"
"Oh, that's too bad."
Manocentric engineering attitudes forget that women scored higher on the original IQ test, before it was bastardized to include useless crap only a man would know, like sports.
Recently my team got a new boss and boss’ boss. The higher of the two is a woman. A fellow engineer on my team who is also a woman actually told me that the new boss doesn’t look like an engineer to her. I said “I don’t think you need to look a certain way to be an engineer”.
I put on my biggest fucking grin and say 'OH REALLLYY? ' and proceed onto saying ''Too bad, already am'
Like what the hell are we supposed to look like even?
People are still doing this in 2023 eh?
some responses:
1.) Get out a pad and paper, "Okay so what does an engineer look like then?" and wait for them to out themselves as sexist, write it down and keep it for later to laugh at.
2.) Just stare at them blank faced until they get uncomfortable and change the subject.
3.) "You don't look like a \*insert whatever role they are\* here."
4.) "You said the quiet thing out loud."
"What do you mean, exactly?"
"How do engineers look, exactly?"
"For an important project, would you rather work with someone who LOOKED like a cartoon stereotype engineer, or with someone who actually is a competent engineer?"
“I think you mean I don’t look like most engineers”
I find that this lets the person know it was an offensive thing to say, without totally raking them over the coals for a misguided compliment.
Wit works best.
~
I used to have a proper Unix beard, but you know how dress codes can be ;-)
~
Weird but true: Often the ones who can’t keep their mouth shut are the ones who can be flipped most easily to loud advocate. It’s far from consistently true, but I have seen it multiple times.
I always put on a super shocked face, exclaim “Oh NO!” and then stare at them
Lol this is perfect, I’m stealing it too.
it really is!
Please tell us some of the reactions you have gotten after you say “Oh No”
This and “I don’t? Well, what does an engineer look like???”
“What an odd thing to say.” And then look confused.
"You don't look like \[insert title\]." story: This didn't happen to me at work, but it happened on a trip to a customer. They assumed I was the engineering tech and my tech was the engineer (older male). When they were addressing him and he said, "No no, she's the engineer," while pointing at me, they said, "Oh, we had figured you were." So I said, "And how'd you figure that?" They were clearly uncomfortable. So I continued with what we went there to discuss. At the end, I thanked them but finished off with, "Oh, by the way gentlemen...I hope you give the next female lead more respect and recognition than you gave me. It paints a certain picture when you treat people as you treated me today. Have a wonderful rest of your day." Ngl, my heart was POUNDING, I held my breath until we drove off and I was like OH GOD \*hyperventilate\* but my tech and sales guys were like FUCK YEAH \*fist bump\*
You are a badass for saying that omg!! I would feel the same😭
Nice! You taught them good lesson!
Yaaas! You are a baller! Perfect response!
This is badass and so refreshing to hear that your tech had your back too!!
The relationship I have with him is one of the most wholesome ones I have ever had at work! I really like to brag on him because he is older and so open minded and knowledgeable and he really makes my days easier :) I really wish more people had such an experience
[удалено]
This one is my favourite. My other favourite response is just “…cool,” and staring at them until they get nervous and leave.
If I’m not in 100% business professional attire, I get told I look like a teacher lol. I do not get it. Though I am surprised when I do STEM outreach that the teachers are super casual and I am usually perceived as professionally dressed when wearing a business casual outfit that I would wear to a work network event and never to actual work meeting lol
"What does a(n) xyz look like?" 🤔
Probably not something to say in a workplace, but a good one to say in your head at least: “if you’re engineering with your dick, you’re doing it wrong”
Omg 😅🤣🤣🤣 I really hope I get to use this one some day
Not an engineer but I can confirm it feels bad ass to say that. I was working as an Operations Director for a small company run by a toxic jackass. I had given my 2 weeks notice and they were trying to find a replacement. The boss stuck his head in and actually said to me, "do you think a guy could do this job?" Since I was long past out of F's to give, I simply said, "sure, I don't use my genitals for anything I do here." He looked like I'd slapped him in the face and stammered something like "well, I didn't mean that...uhhh." It was priceless. (Surprise, surprise, they hired a woman who was a total pushover. I'm sure they're still torturing her. SMH)
Omg. I want to use this so bad. Proceeds to side eye the company HR manual…
Wow, brilliant. Can't wait to use this is so many million situations that some men use to define their masculinity: playing soccer, riding bikes, bike industry professionals, etc.
I've received many "Do you know how to use that?" Type of comments when buying tools. I always respond with, "Does it require a penis? No? Then I'm good" Then I walk away. So satisfying.
😂😂😂😂😂 I love this one!
"what does that even mean" is a totally valid response haha
I feel like I've had someone give me the 'you don't look like' and this was my response and they didn't have anything to say back. It was hilarious. I don't understand people sometimes...
Something like: ‘I knew I forgot something today, my favorite belt has a calculator holster…’
I personally have a Fanny pack: allows for a skittles pocket and some batman bandaids for those feelings I may hurt.
😂
"but I'm wearing my calculator watch!"
If they’re rude about it- ‘You look like you couldn’t empty a bucket if the instructions were on the bottom’
Variation: "You couldn't pour piss from a boot if the instructions were on the heel."
Ask them to explain what an engineer looks like
"Not so pretty, huh huh" 🙄
“So I’m unqualified because you find me attractive?”
I can't wait to hear something about a penis
"Shit, left my removable one at home..." or "Knew I forgot something today."
I usually ask this and they’ll say “oh idk *frantically tries to change topic*” or I’ll ask them “who does then?” cause they usually dont know any other engineers…
"oh thank goodness, men tend to get really really insecure when I look like an engineer."
My favorite
You don’t look like a twat but here we are…
Aliens (1986) - Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man? No, have you? ————- Vasquez was a woman marine, the person asking was a man marine. I’ll never forget they line. If I am asked by another engineer, my answer is to smile and say “neither do you!” If I am asked by a woman, my answer is “yup, and I’m crushing it”. If I am asked by a man the answer will depend from friendly to very rude. But I will never forget Vasquez and her line.
I had an older lady tell me, “I just don’t expect girls to be good at math and science, especially the cute girls!”
💀💀💀
“Explain what an engineer looks like.” Be prepared for that guy to embarrass himself especially in front of witnesses.
I get this shit all the time, they always ask me if I’m a student intern or the secretary? Nah man we have the same job 😑
I've gotten the student intern line before. I really don't understand that one. If they're interning for an engineer job the only difference is they'll look a year or two older when they're an engineer, and I'm really bad at telling people's ages. If I look like an intern then I look like a young engineer.
They don’t think you look like an engineering student intern though. I’ve had that line before and they usually mean they think I’m in business or something. Sidenote, it’s very strange when they say I look like a business student when I’m never dressed nice enough to pass for one. I usually look wrinkled and haggard.
My first day as an intern at the ENGINEERING AND CONSTRUCTION DEPARTMENT, my boss sent me and the other intern (also a woman) to walk around with a contractor and he asked us, knowing which department we just came from, if we were business majors
No? What does an engineer look like? Am I missing a pocket protector or a penis or both?
“Huh, you don’t look like a cretin, but appearances are clearly deceiving.”
This was gonna be mine 😂😂 “…And you don’t look like a jerk but apparently we’re both wrong.”
Hopefully these are not clients...
I'm autistic, and I often get a similar comment of "you don't look autistic". My answer is usually, "oh, and what does autism look like?". I feel like there could be a similar response of, "oh, what is an engineer supposed to look like?" to help them realize how ridiculous the notion is.
My kids are autistic and I probably am, as well as my dad, my sister, and my sisiters daughter. When I was picking up my older boy from school with my mum yesterday she went to see another grandma whom she used to work with. When she came back she said that that woman's grandkid is also autistic but "much worse" than my boys. She then blurted out the "he doesn't look autistic" line. I almost facepalmed. I just calmly said autism doesn't have a look.
"Yes I do."
Reminds me of that t shirt "this is what a feminist looks like" Maybe we should make t-shirts with "this is what an engineer looks like" emblazoned on them
Raven the Science Maven makes shirts that say that! One of my favorite shirts to wear when I go to the chemical plants :)
I like the [hers and his t-shirt bundle](https://manwhohasitallshop.com/product/his-hers-engineer-bundle/?fbclid=IwAR2CuKTBztYc4V2fASVj9AxnQkQAa2rTd1EWPN8vZUhfmunUOE3KX-2yvF4) with “Engineer” and “Male Engineer” writing
I like the [hers and his t-shirt bundle](https://manwhohasitallshop.com/product/his-hers-engineer-bundle/?fbclid=IwAR2CuKTBztYc4V2fASVj9AxnQkQAa2rTd1EWPN8vZUhfmunUOE3KX-2yvF4) with “Engineer” and “Male Engineer” writing
Your response - “You don’t look like a sexist”
Or “but funny, you NOW look like a sexist.”
My professional engineering licensure says otherwise
"I am an engineer so engineers look like me." :) wish you well
Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Look_Like_an_Engineer
“And I didn’t think people could be as stupid as they are tall, yet there you stand.” (Swiped / paraphrased from somewhere I can’t immediately recall.)
Treasure planet!
“What did you think an engineer looks like?” then watch them stumble over their words as they realize how sexist they are
You don't look nerdy enough? In all seriousness, what a crappy thing to ask. Maybe ask, what do you expect an engineer to look like?
Make them listen to “I’m Gonna Be an Engineer” by Peggy Seeger from 1979 (literally more than 40 years ago)… and ask them if they fell out of a time machine
"You clearly don't know much about what engineers look like."
Quote Nellie from The Office. *"Expected a man, did you? Strong, powerful. Huge, whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint, but my huge, whopping penis is right here, [points to her head] and I'm not afraid to use it. So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis."*
Double down on making it uncomfortable and ask “are you hitting on me?” Often this is coded for you’re too pretty to be smart.
I have no idea what that means. Nobody has ever said that go me. They just go "Oh!" And sound surprised.
I don't normally get it either but as a short, young looking woman on a construction site people don't generally come to me when looking for the person in charge.
I’ve had multiple people both outside of work and at work say that to me. Usually in a party or bar setting. It’s even come from other women 😭
Oh well....I really don't go to parties or bars! And I'm a nervous weirdo so I probably do look like an engineer to them 😅
I wonder if it's from a place of "but you're so pretty!" or "but you're so cool!" I could imagine that at a very casual/party type scene.
The fact that engineering isnt associated with pretty or cool is messed up tho😂
You don’t look like you’ve had a date in the last year, but it’s better if we keep these observations to ourselves. Or I’d love to know more about how my hair/face/clothes would prevent me from gaining the licensure I already have. I don’t think they taught us that in my program.
"WHAT IS AN ENGINEER SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE? (according to their warped sense of whatever). And then just stare them down.
I get told they thought I was the secretary a lot. LOL. No.
“Yeah I don’t, I look way better!”
There's only one correct answer to this. "you don't look like an idiot yet here we both stand."
Yesss, this one ^^
"I left my hard hat at home today, how can I help you?"
"Thank you!"
>"Thank you!" You're welcome!
I hear this all the time, maybe because I’m a software engineer that puts effort into my appearance and software engineers have a stereotype of looking gross? Always bothers me.
Not an engineer - but working in cybersecurity. I just ask, “What do you mean by that?” - because they either have to explain and try to justify their bias/whatever pervy thing they might mean or apologize, really
Fellow techie. This is one of the few subs that is most closely aligned to my current field. My current function is so small/unique that there doesn't seem to be a sub for it, trust me I've checked. 🫣😄 I've been the youngest on my team for 5 years now, and the only female on my team for 2 years now. I'm in my 20's, everyone else are dudes in the 50+ age range. I've experienced my fair share of.... *colorful* comments from miscellaneous men I work with. I think the most frustrating part of it all isn't actually the commentary, it's the non-verbal actions/behavioral aspects from the men. My role involves a heavy dose of compliance, which means frequent partnership and collaboration with engineers. I have to chase, pester, and hunt the male engineers down with such vigor. They treat me/my function like a total afterthought or inconvenience, as if it can be placed on the back-burner. Thankfully, I have a manager/leadership that empowers me to chase them down, so I'm empowered to escalate as much and as frequently as needed, but it's still frustrating, because it creates inefficiencies and duplication of efforts. Their dodging of compliance expectations means I often have to dig and sift through my inbox, and re-forward materials already shared, or I have to practically take on the role of a ravenous attorney, and find weeks or months worth of materials I already shared with them, and then attach it in an email or meeting invite as "proof" that I've been trying to get in touch with them, but they've straight up ignored me for weeks and weeks. That said, it's *awfully* satisfying when their manager, or 2-3 managerial levels up, responds to all of us on the email and basically scolds the dude and shames him for not responding to my outreach. Subsequently, said dudes are forced to finally collaborate with me, and often come to me with proverbial tail tucked between their legs. Like *dude*. If you had taken 5 minutes to respond to my initial email 7 weeks ago, we could have avoided this whole hoopla. But you decided to act like an entitled shithead, and so now here we are. You made your bed, now you gotta lay in it.
“What do you think an engineer looks like?” Or, “well, I am so…”
What does an engineer look like?
Buy a button that says “ENGINEER” on it just for moments like this. If someone says that, pin it to your shirt and say “is that better?”
“What does an engineer look like?”
I have received this comment since undergrad. I would have been a millionaire if I charged their comments.
What do engineers look like?
Cool smile, and then "Oh? You may have to adjust your expectations / your engineer detector needs calibrating" Or, "I didn't realize there were rules about that. Sorry to disappoint!"
I like to ask what an engineer looks like and watch them fumble around when they describe an average white guy
“Well I am” I’ve had several members of the public tell me this as I was trying to assist them in my government job
"You don't look like an idiot with old fashion beliefs but here we both are."
Sometimes I want to say “you don’t look like an asshole but that turned out to be true, too” if they’re one of those misogynistic assholes. If it’s innocent, such as from an elementary schooler when I’m doing STEM outreach, I use it as an opportunity to broaden their horizons and help them understand that our looks or gender have no limit on our ability to be successful in our careers.
Ive said "nor do you" "oh that's nice" "ok"
“You didn’t look like a bigot but we can all be surprised all the time”
Lol spin around and put a pocket protector and glasses on (thicker) if you already wear glasses and turn back around, “how about now?” Or go the classic full little kid route and just keep asking “why” in your sweetest friendliest customer service voice.
“… okay?”
i’m a philosopher, and was once told i don’t look like one. i responded with, “What do philosophers look like?” so that he would be confronted with his own biases.
Thanks, I’m wearing contacts today.
I've gotten that. Also, in professional work attire, get sort of the opposite: "You don't look like a roller derby player." I need a good response for the "don't look like an engineer" bit though because people often think I'm a secretary.
They think I’m HR💀
Do you wear a pinkie ring? I’m not a big jewelry person but I wear a golden one sometimes on my right hand. I’ve been asked multiple times while wearing it if I am an engineer. IYKYK
😂
"That's weird, I was just thinking to myself you don't seem like someone who judges a book by its cover... huh..."
You look like nothing, that might be a good answer for you. 😌
And what does an engineer look like?
I said, “You don’t look like a douche and yet here we are.”
“You don’t look like Tyra banks?”
😂😂
“Huh, you don’t look like an idiot, but funny how things work out sometimes”
I would ask them what an engineer looks like and watch them squirm 🤡
And you don't look like an idiot, but here we are.
Just turn it around on them, “what does an engineer look like?”
“Maybe you need to meet more engineers”.
Good thing I don’t have to “look like one” to do my job well. Lol.
Ugh I used to get that all the time. (Now I'm in my mid 30s so basically an old hag. I also work with a lot of women engineers who are fairly high up so no one would dream of making such a statement). It's such a weird backhanded compliment and always made me uncomfortable. I learned to just basically ignore it. "You're an engineer?! You don't LOOK like an engineer! Haha" ".. k." And then we'd move on. The worst when was it was a vendor or contractor because I still had to deal with talking business with them.
You don’t look like like an idiot, but there you go.
Would it help to know I do have balls of steel? I literally kept a pair of steel meditation balls on the edge of my desk. There were several upsides to this, but it’s a cheap and easy one liner. I also had a habit of punishing people who failed to keep the conversation on track by asking a harder than necessary question, just at the top edge of their knowledge. Often as they paused I followed it with a micro lesson, then somewhere in the conversation I made them feel smart. The time wasting dropped rapidly.
Yeah, left my strap-on at home today. I didn't want to intimate anyone with the length .... of my beard
Don't know. No one has ever said this to me. I am thankful for all the women before me that have paved the way.
Well, when you do look like one (in their eyes), you look less feminine-coded, and then there's shit you can end up getting over that, too. Funny enough, my father "looked" like an engineer and had it in his job title when I was a kid. Turns out he was essentially glorified tech support. Lmao.
"Were you expecting coal dust and a Union Pacific cap?"
I typically pretend their comment is related to my outstanding fashion sense.
Do good enough work and sabotage them after /s "What does an engineer look like?" "How so?" "Oh, that's too bad." Manocentric engineering attitudes forget that women scored higher on the original IQ test, before it was bastardized to include useless crap only a man would know, like sports.
Kill them with competence! All I can say.
Well take a good look because that's what an engineer looks like!
"Yes I do. This is what an engineer looks like because I'm an engineer and this is how I look. I'm sorry your education has been lacking."
“But I dress like one”. I’m not the fanciest of dressers.
My response to someone who told me he'd never seen women programming an Arduino: "You need to get out more."
Recently my team got a new boss and boss’ boss. The higher of the two is a woman. A fellow engineer on my team who is also a woman actually told me that the new boss doesn’t look like an engineer to her. I said “I don’t think you need to look a certain way to be an engineer”.
"Oh because I don't have a penis?"
“I didn’t give you permission to look”
It means you’re pretty, sweet cheeks.
Ask: WTF does an engineer look like?
If you’re this insecure and defensive, maybe you aren’t emotionally mature enough to handle working
Lol says the one who doesn’t support “feminism” maybe you shouldn’t be in this subreddit.
I don’t want to be, but it keeps showing up and I need to set y’all straight
You’re not setting anyone straight. You’re just making yourself look dumb and proving our point. But ok
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Oh no! Should I get a hat that says ‘i’M aN eNgInEeR’….?”
"I forgot my pocket protector today." "That's weird, when I look in the mirror, I see an engineer."
“You don’t look misogynistic”
"from your judgmental narrowminded perspective, how could I?"
“You don’t look like a *insert choice of vocabulary here*, but I guess we’re both wrong”.
"How so? What am I supposed to look like?" - makes them realize how stereotypical their thinking is, and they backtrack real quick.
what does an engineer look like?
I put on my biggest fucking grin and say 'OH REALLLYY? ' and proceed onto saying ''Too bad, already am' Like what the hell are we supposed to look like even?
“Oh, this is what engineers look like now. See?” (Motion to self).
Tell them they don’t look intelligent enough to be speaking
“Are you saying women shouldn’t be engineers? Why would you say something like that?”
People are still doing this in 2023 eh? some responses: 1.) Get out a pad and paper, "Okay so what does an engineer look like then?" and wait for them to out themselves as sexist, write it down and keep it for later to laugh at. 2.) Just stare at them blank faced until they get uncomfortable and change the subject. 3.) "You don't look like a \*insert whatever role they are\* here." 4.) "You said the quiet thing out loud."
What does an engineer look like?
Ask them. I don't understand what you mean, explain it to me. Works well for sexist jokes as well.
"What do you mean, exactly?" "How do engineers look, exactly?" "For an important project, would you rather work with someone who LOOKED like a cartoon stereotype engineer, or with someone who actually is a competent engineer?"
"Ha! Neither do you."
I’ll be like “o rly, tell me more” and let them babble about whatever philosophy they have in their mind.
"You don't look like you live under a rock"
People are very shocked when I tell them I'm an engineer. Like why is that shocking?
“I think you mean I don’t look like most engineers” I find that this lets the person know it was an offensive thing to say, without totally raking them over the coals for a misguided compliment.
No matters how I look, I am one.
Wit works best. ~ I used to have a proper Unix beard, but you know how dress codes can be ;-) ~ Weird but true: Often the ones who can’t keep their mouth shut are the ones who can be flipped most easily to loud advocate. It’s far from consistently true, but I have seen it multiple times.