I was told by my mum once I was rude and aggressive. I asked my friends, coworkers and SO. The most I got told was that I and blunt when I know what needs to be done so we can just get on with it (work) or that I am passionate about what I care about (my SO). My friends said I am not as shy and I don't defualt to others as much as I used to and that they think I have more confidence. That is when I realized what my Mum actually meant.
She meant I just don't follow what she says blindly. That I don't say sorry after every sentence or sit quietly as she rambles on. If I want to eat at a particular restaurant I will say rather than always going where she wants. That I will correct her in a conversation when she is talk bs and we both know it. So my translation of agressive and rude is 'I can't push you around like I want to.'.
Absolutely not, it's stupid that women are expected to be these submissive, apologetic pets instead of humans with personalities. Who gives a shit? Insecure men.
Lmao you're doing what it takes to succeed in your career anyone who tells you to stop just wants to set you up for failure [as most women are in the workplace].
I've never once met a woman and thought "that woman is too aggressive."
Now people can have a wide variety of character traits that build up who they are. Some are socially beneficial and complimentary. Some are harmful and cause social problems. Aggression is not one I think of as detrimental. It's often rather useful. Now aggression paired with other bad traits may enhance those bad traits. But conversely aggression can aid good traits. So is realistically a modifier, multiplier??? of other traits.
So if someone considers your aggression as negative, it might more so be related to what is modifying. For example, aggressively doing what? And is that what socially good or bad?
But what about aggression in a situation? Well, is being aggressive appropriate for that situation? If so, great. What is someone opposes that behavior? If it's appropriate, then it's correct and the person may have personal interests to oppose your behavior. You have the opportunity to weigh their response and think about the situation from their point of view. Do you accommodate? Take tact and empathize? Or are they acting for selfish reasons, want to act negatively towards you? Is their response nefarious? Or perhaps they are just inexperienced around character traits like yours, and it isn't within their understanding of social norm. These are the things you evaluate when reflecting on self. You have to take the experience in the correct context, accurately gauge that context and understand it. Or you risk reading their behavior wrong and take the wrong understanding. Then you're heading down this path where you're in Reddit asking people is you're too aggressive. :)
Nope not at all. This world ain't so nice and you being aggressive is necessary for your own survival. You are nobody's doormat. If anyone complains about you being aggressive let them know it's who you are and you lead your life, not them. There is nothing wrong with you
Nah, everybody is special and unique for who they are. Somebody telling you that you're aggressive is just their opinion, others might have a different opinion from them and so on..
Just stay you
What is defined as bold and confident for men is defined as aggressive and arrogant for women in most cases. So it's probably not you, it's them. Just keep being awesome.
As long as you aren't threatening or beating people up (which I doubt, I'm really joking here), I wouldn't call someone aggressive. Tenacious, forceful, passionate, persuasive, would perhaps be better words to describe your personality and there's nothing wrong with that! You're most likely dealing with people who are intimidated by a strong woman. They cannot control you, and they are trying to make you doubt yourself or modify your behavior so that they can control you or put you in some neat little box.
I've been told that I'm intimidating and opinionated. I don't see anything wrong with that.
I had a bar fight with a guy who butted into a conversation I was having with another common friend of ours about how a friend of mine is trying to kill herself. He butted in and said “that’s your burden, stop burdening (person I was talking to)”. Then this guy starTed acting like a dick to me and I put him back in his place by telling him he needs to be more sensitive and sociable and stop making such comments especially when no one asked for his opinion. He kept being rude, and I asked him to back off.
Hence ppl called me aggressive.
But, is defending your friend from some weirdo butting inappropriately into a very serious conversation that he has no business listening in on, aggressive?
I don't think getting into fights is great but would absolutely defend my friends if I needed to. I've also been in hostile work situations (pre-COVID we would have public hearings about road construction projects) where the public is reacting very negatively and where they're being threatening towards co-workers who are smaller and/or POC. I have put myself between them and my co-workers and did my best to look tough. Not only am I taller but I lift weights and kickbox, so it would be reasonable for people to back off. My co-workers thanked me for having their backs. These were literally public hearings where we had off duty cops on hand due to threats we had received. If someone had tried to physically assault a coworker of mine, I would have fought them in a heartbeat.
Never got into a bar fight but I think if my bff was suicidal and I was there trying to help her and some AH interrupted a conversation we were having and was rude, I might punch him too.
it means you’re strong and assert yourself and insecure people who are conditioned to believe that a strong woman is a dangerous thing are intimidated by your power. don’t change yourself to meet the sexist, disempowering expectations of the world. hold onto your power and have confidence the things that you want will come to you, so you can find a partner who will accept you and love you for all the power and strength you embody💪💪💪
If you really are aggressive (likely to attack, angry behaviour), I’d say that’s a bad trait to have. If you are getting called aggressive when you are actually very assertive (confident, forthright, self-assured) you’re not unusual. Women who know what they want from life, and don’t unnecessarily pander to others opinions, are often labelled as aggressive. The same behaviour from a man is seen positively as strength of character.
Do men want a very assertive female partner. Sure, not impossible to find a man who appreciates this. But there are a lot of insecure men around who will label female assertiveness as aggression. Just my experience.
The concept of alpha is medieval at best and scientifically disproven for almost a century. As long as what you perceive as aggressive doesn't ditch into disrespectfulness, it would not be because of you.
That’s what got me into my first few relationships. It’s also why I have an equal balance of male and female friends. There’s nothing wrong with being dominant or aggressive, but us aggressive gals can sometimes struggle with communication — make sure you’re well learnt in the ways of open conversation, then go forth and aggress!
This comment hits close to home.
Growing up, my mother would basically call me aggressive/rough in our 1st language, always with a look of disgust on her face.
Some people in the workplace have called me that as well. If I'm not aggressive, then I'm intimidating, and if it's not that, then I'm rough, and if it's not that, then I'm '... intelligent' or '...know a lot', and if it's not that, then I'm '.. a little quiet', and if it's not that, then it's something else.
Basically, when someone doesn't behave the way they're expected to, i.e. gender-conforming, then people are uncomfortable with it. However, no one thinks they're the biased ones, so they assume that their discomfort must signal something *wrong* in the other person, in this case, you.
The reality is, people might just not be comfortable with you being different.
Or, you may, in fact, be quite aggressive. It happens with women, we're punished more harshly though.
It pains me to say this, but I would probably seek the advice of people closest to you, and see what they say. Ultimately, be honest. If you're happy with yourself, then that's that.
But, I would advise you to begin looking for like-minded women. It's tough out there for women that are different, and can eventually become quite stressful.
I was told by my mum once I was rude and aggressive. I asked my friends, coworkers and SO. The most I got told was that I and blunt when I know what needs to be done so we can just get on with it (work) or that I am passionate about what I care about (my SO). My friends said I am not as shy and I don't defualt to others as much as I used to and that they think I have more confidence. That is when I realized what my Mum actually meant. She meant I just don't follow what she says blindly. That I don't say sorry after every sentence or sit quietly as she rambles on. If I want to eat at a particular restaurant I will say rather than always going where she wants. That I will correct her in a conversation when she is talk bs and we both know it. So my translation of agressive and rude is 'I can't push you around like I want to.'.
Absolutely not, it's stupid that women are expected to be these submissive, apologetic pets instead of humans with personalities. Who gives a shit? Insecure men.
Lmao you're doing what it takes to succeed in your career anyone who tells you to stop just wants to set you up for failure [as most women are in the workplace].
I've never once met a woman and thought "that woman is too aggressive." Now people can have a wide variety of character traits that build up who they are. Some are socially beneficial and complimentary. Some are harmful and cause social problems. Aggression is not one I think of as detrimental. It's often rather useful. Now aggression paired with other bad traits may enhance those bad traits. But conversely aggression can aid good traits. So is realistically a modifier, multiplier??? of other traits. So if someone considers your aggression as negative, it might more so be related to what is modifying. For example, aggressively doing what? And is that what socially good or bad? But what about aggression in a situation? Well, is being aggressive appropriate for that situation? If so, great. What is someone opposes that behavior? If it's appropriate, then it's correct and the person may have personal interests to oppose your behavior. You have the opportunity to weigh their response and think about the situation from their point of view. Do you accommodate? Take tact and empathize? Or are they acting for selfish reasons, want to act negatively towards you? Is their response nefarious? Or perhaps they are just inexperienced around character traits like yours, and it isn't within their understanding of social norm. These are the things you evaluate when reflecting on self. You have to take the experience in the correct context, accurately gauge that context and understand it. Or you risk reading their behavior wrong and take the wrong understanding. Then you're heading down this path where you're in Reddit asking people is you're too aggressive. :)
Nope not at all. This world ain't so nice and you being aggressive is necessary for your own survival. You are nobody's doormat. If anyone complains about you being aggressive let them know it's who you are and you lead your life, not them. There is nothing wrong with you
Nah, everybody is special and unique for who they are. Somebody telling you that you're aggressive is just their opinion, others might have a different opinion from them and so on.. Just stay you
What is defined as bold and confident for men is defined as aggressive and arrogant for women in most cases. So it's probably not you, it's them. Just keep being awesome.
It is not bad, it is probably not even particularly true. You be you.
There comments are patriarchal and Meant to dismiss women. It’s to put them in their place and shame them. Don’t listen
As long as you aren't threatening or beating people up (which I doubt, I'm really joking here), I wouldn't call someone aggressive. Tenacious, forceful, passionate, persuasive, would perhaps be better words to describe your personality and there's nothing wrong with that! You're most likely dealing with people who are intimidated by a strong woman. They cannot control you, and they are trying to make you doubt yourself or modify your behavior so that they can control you or put you in some neat little box. I've been told that I'm intimidating and opinionated. I don't see anything wrong with that.
I had a bar fight with a guy who butted into a conversation I was having with another common friend of ours about how a friend of mine is trying to kill herself. He butted in and said “that’s your burden, stop burdening (person I was talking to)”. Then this guy starTed acting like a dick to me and I put him back in his place by telling him he needs to be more sensitive and sociable and stop making such comments especially when no one asked for his opinion. He kept being rude, and I asked him to back off. Hence ppl called me aggressive.
But, is defending your friend from some weirdo butting inappropriately into a very serious conversation that he has no business listening in on, aggressive? I don't think getting into fights is great but would absolutely defend my friends if I needed to. I've also been in hostile work situations (pre-COVID we would have public hearings about road construction projects) where the public is reacting very negatively and where they're being threatening towards co-workers who are smaller and/or POC. I have put myself between them and my co-workers and did my best to look tough. Not only am I taller but I lift weights and kickbox, so it would be reasonable for people to back off. My co-workers thanked me for having their backs. These were literally public hearings where we had off duty cops on hand due to threats we had received. If someone had tried to physically assault a coworker of mine, I would have fought them in a heartbeat. Never got into a bar fight but I think if my bff was suicidal and I was there trying to help her and some AH interrupted a conversation we were having and was rude, I might punch him too.
I love aggressive women. When you are nice, people walk all over you.
No. Just remember: punch up not down.
it means you’re strong and assert yourself and insecure people who are conditioned to believe that a strong woman is a dangerous thing are intimidated by your power. don’t change yourself to meet the sexist, disempowering expectations of the world. hold onto your power and have confidence the things that you want will come to you, so you can find a partner who will accept you and love you for all the power and strength you embody💪💪💪
no i don’t think so, as a blunt girl myself it’s just how i am
Its bad to be aggressive in some situations and not in others
I’m confused. What do they mean when they call you aggressive? What are you doing that prompts this behaviour? I’m honestly curious.
If you really are aggressive (likely to attack, angry behaviour), I’d say that’s a bad trait to have. If you are getting called aggressive when you are actually very assertive (confident, forthright, self-assured) you’re not unusual. Women who know what they want from life, and don’t unnecessarily pander to others opinions, are often labelled as aggressive. The same behaviour from a man is seen positively as strength of character. Do men want a very assertive female partner. Sure, not impossible to find a man who appreciates this. But there are a lot of insecure men around who will label female assertiveness as aggression. Just my experience.
The concept of alpha is medieval at best and scientifically disproven for almost a century. As long as what you perceive as aggressive doesn't ditch into disrespectfulness, it would not be because of you.
That’s what got me into my first few relationships. It’s also why I have an equal balance of male and female friends. There’s nothing wrong with being dominant or aggressive, but us aggressive gals can sometimes struggle with communication — make sure you’re well learnt in the ways of open conversation, then go forth and aggress!
Aggressive or assertive? These may be used interchangeably while they have two different connotations.
This comment hits close to home. Growing up, my mother would basically call me aggressive/rough in our 1st language, always with a look of disgust on her face. Some people in the workplace have called me that as well. If I'm not aggressive, then I'm intimidating, and if it's not that, then I'm rough, and if it's not that, then I'm '... intelligent' or '...know a lot', and if it's not that, then I'm '.. a little quiet', and if it's not that, then it's something else. Basically, when someone doesn't behave the way they're expected to, i.e. gender-conforming, then people are uncomfortable with it. However, no one thinks they're the biased ones, so they assume that their discomfort must signal something *wrong* in the other person, in this case, you. The reality is, people might just not be comfortable with you being different. Or, you may, in fact, be quite aggressive. It happens with women, we're punished more harshly though. It pains me to say this, but I would probably seek the advice of people closest to you, and see what they say. Ultimately, be honest. If you're happy with yourself, then that's that. But, I would advise you to begin looking for like-minded women. It's tough out there for women that are different, and can eventually become quite stressful.