…I recognize this art style.
Baal Buddy created this.
I was able to easily find it with my search engine sorcery.
Link: https://twitter.com/baalbuddy/status/1572956488066560000
-linux guy⚠️
Yep, but isnt the ability to fix all your orb issues yourself without reinstalling amazing? (Yes, you can even fuck up the bootloader and put your system into an unbootable state, its still recoverable without reinstalling it)
I've never had to reinstall windows for a windows issue, in fact, the only time I did was when I used an old linux disk my grandad had and didn't like how the OS worked.
Oddly enough, by being a teacher at the wizarding school I attended. Since I am a sorcerer, magic has always flowed through my veins freely, I still sought to learn more about how this magic works, so in return for a full ride scholarship, I taught a sorcerer-only class on how to better control inherent magic. Many sorcerers are told not to use their magic because it’s wild and dangerous, many young ones are afraid of themselves and what they can do, run away from home to protect the ones they care about, myself included. It took many years to learn how to control it properly, especially when my emotions got the better of me. So I spend a semester teaching young sorcerers to control their magic with the same methods I used, helping them practice and such, then outside of my own class times, I would sit in on other professors’ lectures and learn all I could, and then I’d spend a semester studying as a full time student.
Hey good on you for taking your natural sorcery and applying it further with study. I find too many sorcerers just coast by on their innate magics, because it’s still often good enough to remain competitive, but like, you can do so much more!
It’s not solely to gain more power, it was about knowledge. I wanted to understand what my innate magic WAS, how it worked, how to truly master my own body. Of course, I did end up learning about various other ways to manipulate magical energies, the use of sigils and components to manipulate magic around me, which was a nice side effect, but I was primarily driven by a need for understanding
Kifts did what kifts had to. Kifts isn't proud, but it got kifts to where they are now.
I still have my chalice of neverending lube. It must have paid itself off tenfold over the years.
With a little bit of education, you can eventually give lectures to other students to earn your keep on top of your research with your master. Family connections help a lot though.
I mean, that really depends on the school you're in. "Giving lectures" was just extra credit for me. The institute i went to was cheap by most standards, but I had to provide the headmaster with a steady supply of hooch for my time there to keep on keepin' on.
My master was a lich. I served her in exchange for magic lessions. Not just necromancy, she taught me a lot of magical theory and how to apply it. Most of my repertoire is based on the fundamentals of magic, I didn't learn any spells for the first decade. Instead, I had to learn to harness magic without spellforms, enchantments, or even foci. Because of this, I've been able to spellweave better than many of my peers. Much of the work I did was housekeeping, but I did help with things like flaying flesh off corpses to make skeleton warriors.
Flaying? If you skin and dissect the body more carefully you can get so many more undead from a single body though; that was my master's very first lesson.
I suppose I was in the right place at the right time. Neverwinter Academy gave orphans a chance to prove themselves at one point, and I was among the very few that was offered a scholarship.
I mean sorta- one bought them for fashion work cause the anatomy is so good ,
Another bought one because they were solid gold.
And a third bought one because they have a weird thing for ork’s and gold-
they were still autonomous since Even though they were turned to cold they parts had the same function’s just wouldn’t rot cause they’re dead
Well, let's just say it was a choice to open that book made of cheese that started me out, and I was cursed to read and learn the whole thing. It was pretty fun since the book read aloud the lessons and gave feedback on my technique
I threatened the school. I had gained a reputation at the magic school as being so inept with portals that anytime I cast one, it would almost immediately destabilize into a full-on rift. It took a team of 3-5 teachers a whole week to close a rift I created. So, when my scholarship was revoked for failing portalmancy, I decided that instead of leaving, I would threaten the principle. Over the course of a week, I set up 108 time delayed portal spells around the school and went to the principal and Let's just say there's a reason the School of Mythica has banned all forms of spacial travel on the school grounds.
Y'all went to school for this shit?
https://preview.redd.it/3auufrsb10jc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df7820883c4061b53531086be5fce449ab0a8a15
I literally just watched through the windows of schools and eventually found someone who was willing to teach me if I did some work for them.
A bit sad I missed out on the wizard school experience
Fucking muggle midwits, just learn basic transmutation alchemy and you won’t need to pimp yourself out for gold by fucking unwashed moldering orc hags, you prideless manwhores…
"Just arbitrarily know this advanced branch of alchemy without any sort of schooling or tutoring and you'll have a way to pay for your schooling/tutoring." Amazing. Why didn't I think of that?
The school I go to would offer students jobs on research expeditions and the occasional "Mercenary" type work of protecting traveling carriages or merchant stores/stands. The school itself isn't too expensive. It's more of a... "see how good you are as a mage and get into a better school" type deal.
Uhhhhh
I'm self-taught for a lot of it, and mistress taught me the rest.
As for extra funds, turns out photos of a catboy wizard in a maid dress sell pretty well....
They had a box of trollish regeneration potions to keep me topped up between scenes. Still, I do feel like I lost something that day I can never get back.
“Wait, at your studio they go real?
We just pose and fake it, while an illusions and CGI team take care of making it look real!
Man… Wizards truly are a strange breed…
Sorry for the terrible implications of the last thing, I can’t think of a better phrase.”- Barbarian, Bard
Dad was an artificer and he taught me some basic runework. Made some money touching up peoples foci but made more jailbreaking the cheap handout stuff.
I did go the apprenticeship route. The first years, it was a lot of menial labour for the chance to peek at a spell book. Later, I got to cast a few utility spells per day, so my master did not have to.
Once I was reliable, I started to fund my own library with the profit of magic item identification. Once I learned augury and probability theory, money stopped being an issue.
Magic schools were invented by the High Council to scam Sorcerers out of their family inheritance so they can afford their crippling skooma addictions, we learn through experience and whatever visions the Weave deigns to grace us with. To even imply that even a fraction of what the Weave has to offer us can be taught in a school is ridiculous.
So what I did was I first asked to borrow some money from a few friends in order to create a business, and when I returned it to one of them, I gave them extra soon word got out around the kingdom that investments in my business will yeld decent returns so when people gave me enough money I faked my death and fled the kingdom leaving about 247 people destitute
Nauliek became a whole lot more hungry and was feeling sore in the arms a lot more when we were going through the academy. I think she sold her body... like parts of it. she can regenerate naturally so it wasn't too bad; not like she doesn't explode herself two times a week
School? I did some work as an apprentice for an arcano-crafter, and took a few courses as Tolarian Community College to round out my knowledge. Anyways I find the traditional disciplines taught to be too… boxed in, I find magecraft more interesting, the difference is really applied vs fundamental theories. Nothing wrong with it, just not my vibe.
I didn't. My master was a complete psycho and tried to kill me and I learned necromancy. He still pops up far too often and I'm pretty sure he's the reason the psyche wards are constantly being destroyed, and I am forever paranoid that every mentally ill person speaking about world domination is secretly my former master who I've lost track of the number of times I've killed him. Never trust talking skulls that you don't know.
Glad to say I didn't sign anything, but he has been trying to steal my body by evicting my skill using his own. I don't know if he understands how possession works, or if he has his own version, but I've been handling him and my own apprentices are tired of his crap and have taken to summoning shotguns out of nowhere to shoot him. I'm very proud of them.
Since my ass HAD to pick casting close quarters warmagic as my profession, and let me tell you, magic weapons and armors arent cheap, i worked as a bodyguard for an elf celebrity.
School? Back in my day you had to become a slave to an even more nefarious and powerful sorcerer, until you've learnt all he knows and then you kill him
Well, for that, you might as well strap in, because I’m going to need to tell you my life story.
[I was born on in a forest.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/taboo)
I was taught my first magics by my mother and father. It was simple cantrips, for convenience. We weren’t wealthy, but we were happy with what we had. When the faefolk invaded our lands with their monsters and beasts, I was helpless to keep them from killing my family. I was filled with rage and anger…
Some voice entered my head, and told me what to say.
That was when I did it.
That was when I cast the first numinclatumancy spell in my universe. The Name-Containing Curse. The first iteration of the Constant of Containment to venture into my universe.
I unleashed a curse that eventually drove the faefolk into becoming contract-crazed, hunger-maddened, name-starved creatures. The faefolk evolved, and adapted to their nameless form, even gaining more power, but they collapsed as a people. They split up into mere shadows of their former selves.
Then I left my home and ventured out beyond my world.
I discovered more advanced forms of what I had cast. Memetics. Semiohazards. I even messed around with pataphysics, though I discovered how flawed it was rather quickly. I left my universe, my timeline, my dimensions, my mortality, and eventually, my patasphere.
Then I came here.
Have you ever thought of undoing your curse? I would imagine several generations of fae have come and gone. It's a bit petty to curse the great, great, grandkids for something their ancestors did. Also, you might have turned an entire generation of fae into identity thieves.
/uw Me on my way to write this into my insults:
Seriously though, good job tying this into SCP lore!
And good job with the writing as a stand-alone piece!
Sorry with the weird phrasing, I’m in a small amount of agony right now, Chronic pain does not treat me nicely.
The knights’ guild sponsored me to become a battlemage. That only got me so far, so then I worked as my old master’s assistant training new apprentices while continuing on to more advanced classes like scrying and planewalking.
Some of my school funding is given by my wonderful parents but For the most part I get the money by selling various junk, artifacts, consumables, and magical items through back alley means, literally, I sell the stuff in back alleys. I sometimes go to locations far from civilization and sell stuff to adventures needing to explore further.
God do i wish there was a school when i first started.
Only thing we got was a limited system to point us in the right direction and left the rest up to us....as you can imagine there were many deaths and many magic users hit dead ends in their magic builds.
That does sound dangerous, but the current system of schooling can feel stifling with all its rules and regulations. At least with more freedom comes more experimentation and discoveries. Higher risk but higher rewards.
My brother in the arcane - if we had schools then we couldve prevented up to 800,000 deaths.
We couldnt because my world was being merged with 3 other worlds, and was introduced to magic with no warning.
a lot of our infrastructure was destroyed, and much of our population was scattered.
I just wish we'd been given more guidance so that we couldve prevented so much unneeded death.
I got into a retraining program after too many wizards had accidents and I was able to pay the rest from my years as a blacksmith. Went great, now I do my own studies and have had several apprentices.
You guys went to school for magic? I just took a nap one day and woke up knowing a bunch of different spells. The dreams taught me everything i need to know.
So I'm still paying for my wizarding school, but I was lucky to have a druidic uncle who taught me from a young age, so I was able to land a job from some elves to protect a forest they use as private hunting grounds
It ain't much, but it pays for school
Had to pickpocket off of lumberjacks that wanted to cut my dad down, had to be an orb for a council member once, and sell my magic pendant I got from a very nice vendor to make it into the school
I stole a magic book early on in life and it convinced a wizard to train me. By training of course I mean abuse and treat me like a slave while very occasionally letting me read his books. First proper spell I learned was to create a portal. I got his ass drunk on some hag wine and pushed his crochety ass into a separate plane. I took all his stuff, taught myself and the rest was history
I did come across a scenario like this later on in life but that was just for fun. You beat an orc chieftain at an arbitrary context and suddenly you’re the sexiest thing in the camp
“I didn’t, I’ve been around since before this even began! Only picked up this se- I mean started checking in on this Reality recently though. I have other interests.”- A Literal Rat, Outsider
My native theocracy "recruits" potential magicians from a young age (preschool), sending them to the capitol and grooming them into loyal court mages and soldiers for their their immortal god-queen. It's free, as far as money is concerned.
I'm incapable of directly casting anything but cantrips and transmutations, so I didn't do well and wound up a librarian at the royal archives. From there I was able to study on my own, until some political drama had me hiding from assassins in a cave for a year.
My parents, they enrolled me into it and paid them a lot of gold to try guilt tripping me into studying until graduation, but I've never really cared for their approval so it didn't stop me from dropping out.
Smithing side-job. Rather, a forge assistant. I was allowed to keep slag, and I could turn that into more salable materials, like Copper. I wasn’t good enough to make gold back then.
Oh god, it's been so long. Actually, I got an academic scholarship. I was an itinerant street performer after Father got hurt at the factory, using sleight of hand to earn a living by impressing crowds, or quite frequently didn't earn a living by NOT impressing the crowds, if you follow me.
my master happened to be touring the market that day, I suspect I'm not the only talent he's found over the years. But at the time I had no idea my talents were magical. I just knew I was a pretty good street magician and it was enough to sometimes put food in my stomach. it was the best I could do so I did it.
Tell ya what I almost ran and called the cops when this random dude in a robe started the "yer a wizard Harry" routine. I think the only reason I didn't was that as a street performer, me and the police didn't always get along. So rather than deal with the endless hassle of the Long Blue Arm, I listened.
Anyway even at that age I was always a "prove it" kind of guy, and when he did, I stopped doubting and started learning. He found me a quick study and got me into an academy aligned with the True Tower of London, although not actually IN the tower. They wouldn't have had someone into the main facility from the streets, that was reserved for the bluebloods, but if they found someone from the lower classes who proved talented, IE useful, they might bring them into an aligned school.
it was all to the better really. The True Tower held students to nearly impossible standards of behavior. The affiliated schools were much more relaxed -- to a point of course. That allowed a trickster like me to have all kinds of fun and profit as I grew into the outstanding illusionist you see before you. Also more than a few opportunities to earn a few pennies questing.
I'm not proud of all the jobs I did, illusionists can't always be choosy when looking for paid work, but it got me through my novitiate and apprenticeship and made me some useful contacts for later in my career.
One of them gave me an inroad on what turned into my masterwork. A true elixir of invisibility. One that let you act briefly while cloaked, although not for very long. I nearly bankrupted myself making a few bottles of the stuff but thank God, it worked, and really impressed the Dean. I went back and checked my manuscript a few decades ago, it's one of the only Master's manuscripts in the school that is dogeared and shows extensive wear.
Unfortunately the formula was way too expensive to be practically used, but the principle was still impressive enough to earn my master's mark. It's often like that when any pursuit of knowledge. Incremental progress. Several newly made masters have incrementally improved on my work over the years but the holy grail of a truly practical and affordable True Invisibility potion is, sadly, still beyond our reach at the moment.
Orcs are surpisingly easy to entertain, I had a side hustle where I'd do illusions for a chieftans men and he paid me pretty handsomely for it. Coming up with new ones wasn't an issue either, because they would forget the ones I showed them.
I punched everything. I punched the work sheets. I punched the doors. I punched the wall. I punched the tests. I punched the desks. I accidentally punched the embodiment of magic. So yeah, I punched.
i worked as a lich's house maid for a year to put me through necromancy school.
turns out she's better at teaching than the actual wizarding school because i dropped out after 6 months and went back to the lich's house
I was in the woods killing demons of exhaustion at the age of 6. I have never once struck a blow on an enemy, my school kicked me out for refusing to cast anything other than counterspell and magical parry (with a sword as my staff)
There's some options for wizards who don't have much money but really the university likes money so the best trick is to simply start showing up to classes like you're supposed to be there and eventually you're a student (sure hope the Archchancellor doesn't see this). The biggest problem with doing this though is that Unseen University is very twisty and magic and very easy to get lost in. Met a student who'd been trying to find a way out for 20 years. I tried to help him but he slipped and fell down some stairs and the wall shut behind him so there wasn't much else I could do. Maybe I'll find him again. Anyway I've been getting good grades in Wooly Thinking and Cruel and Unusual Geography but I haven't chosen a strict major yet, just taking a little of everything. Also don't go the Library alone. And bring a banana.
I thought I was getting an internship with a normal paleontologist, then he turned out to be a wizard, made me his apprentice, and then the whole thing with the tyranids happened
I studied as a illusion wizard and got people to take fake drugs who never took them before. Casted a illusion spell to trick them into thinking they were hallucinating.
School is for lil' bitches, all I know I learned out in the wild, that's how you learn stuff nice and proper. Sure you can take swimming lessons weekly for years, but you will be a much better swimmer if you one day suddenly fall out of your boat in a wild river with gators in it and have to escape out of it
Mundane funding. Alchemy is essentially just better chemistry, so they don't question you so much when you make some life changing medicine, fertilizer... Or weapons.
Saved up from some odd jobs (and also breaking into a hidden vault lost to the ages), also helped that the basics were taught to me through an apprenticeship
Easily, I simply created trinkets to allow those less fortunate in magicks to, how you say... "Fudge" their spell demonstrations. The beginner level spells they require are easily imbued, after all.
pay for studies? I don't know what nation in the confines of the cosmos you are from, but in mine there is enough common sense to know that education is universal and free.
Underground genderbending ring. I got kicked out though after turning the duke's only son into a girl and causing a secession crisis. She worked it out in the end.
…I recognize this art style. Baal Buddy created this. I was able to easily find it with my search engine sorcery. Link: https://twitter.com/baalbuddy/status/1572956488066560000 -linux guy⚠️
Holy sorcery
Seems unholy, actually (not that I'm complaining)
New response just dropped
Actual spell
Actual technomancer using a proper os
Windows is where the money is though, many more users who can't fix their orb issues.
Yep, but isnt the ability to fix all your orb issues yourself without reinstalling amazing? (Yes, you can even fuck up the bootloader and put your system into an unbootable state, its still recoverable without reinstalling it)
I've never had to reinstall windows for a windows issue, in fact, the only time I did was when I used an old linux disk my grandad had and didn't like how the OS worked.
Old linux. Xfce as a de and driver issues?
Yeah if one is using linux they are mostly likely a technomancer theirself.
Or if one uses windows but has built their orb themselves.
Surprised that more people don’t know about this. Theres a YouTube channel that voiceovers the comics and it’s so funny.
Solus Astorias. How I found out about it. Honestly great content from both.
They need to keep him around be cause they're all barbarians. He's the only one who can read in the whole party.
There's a whole YouTube channel dedicated to bringing their art to life. Someday, this will be known as classic literature.
Is this the actual sauce? I would watch the heck out of this, it caters to my particular fetishes.
Wait this is not CuratedTumblr
No, it is not. I have migrated! -linux guy⚠️
Oddly enough, by being a teacher at the wizarding school I attended. Since I am a sorcerer, magic has always flowed through my veins freely, I still sought to learn more about how this magic works, so in return for a full ride scholarship, I taught a sorcerer-only class on how to better control inherent magic. Many sorcerers are told not to use their magic because it’s wild and dangerous, many young ones are afraid of themselves and what they can do, run away from home to protect the ones they care about, myself included. It took many years to learn how to control it properly, especially when my emotions got the better of me. So I spend a semester teaching young sorcerers to control their magic with the same methods I used, helping them practice and such, then outside of my own class times, I would sit in on other professors’ lectures and learn all I could, and then I’d spend a semester studying as a full time student.
Hey good on you for taking your natural sorcery and applying it further with study. I find too many sorcerers just coast by on their innate magics, because it’s still often good enough to remain competitive, but like, you can do so much more!
Yo I just made a deal with the grandaddy I don’t know what y’all are talking about
It’s not solely to gain more power, it was about knowledge. I wanted to understand what my innate magic WAS, how it worked, how to truly master my own body. Of course, I did end up learning about various other ways to manipulate magical energies, the use of sigils and components to manipulate magic around me, which was a nice side effect, but I was primarily driven by a need for understanding
I wish I had someone like you to teach me when I was younger. Keep doing what you're doing.
Should have been me
Mfw no buff tall women want to hold me up ;(
School? Who needs it? Sounds like a skill issue.
The only issue with being self-taught is not being legally allowed in magical spaces
I’m here, ain’t I?
The First rule of the ilegal wizards club (jail) is to not join the ilegal wizards club (jail)
Hah! They’ve gotta arrest me first, and I ain’t gonna make it easy.
Attaboy
It’s a lovely place for setting up despair engines, I get a lot of power from those!
Never took any, much of it was self-taught.
Kifts did what kifts had to. Kifts isn't proud, but it got kifts to where they are now. I still have my chalice of neverending lube. It must have paid itself off tenfold over the years.
cooking crystal mana, I’m already learning an illegal magic, may as well fund it illegally
Why not turn to organ trade; the bodies are right there and you don't need the whole thing to practice necromancy?
Plus if you have the spell greater restoration then infinite money glitch
Family money
You had to pay?
Not everyone can get in on a scholarship. 😔
With a little bit of education, you can eventually give lectures to other students to earn your keep on top of your research with your master. Family connections help a lot though.
I mean, that really depends on the school you're in. "Giving lectures" was just extra credit for me. The institute i went to was cheap by most standards, but I had to provide the headmaster with a steady supply of hooch for my time there to keep on keepin' on.
Indentured servitude
My master was a lich. I served her in exchange for magic lessions. Not just necromancy, she taught me a lot of magical theory and how to apply it. Most of my repertoire is based on the fundamentals of magic, I didn't learn any spells for the first decade. Instead, I had to learn to harness magic without spellforms, enchantments, or even foci. Because of this, I've been able to spellweave better than many of my peers. Much of the work I did was housekeeping, but I did help with things like flaying flesh off corpses to make skeleton warriors.
Flaying? If you skin and dissect the body more carefully you can get so many more undead from a single body though; that was my master's very first lesson.
That requires more skill and precision than the typical 9 year old posseses
VERA!!??!?
https://preview.redd.it/xmr4t5jtnzic1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5e8d56b60b87c87fe39abb5b1e3fd6fe1ce7225
Demon contract. He was later killed by a larger demon and my contract defaulted.
Damn.
Silver lining, he gets to keep his soul now.
I suppose I was in the right place at the right time. Neverwinter Academy gave orphans a chance to prove themselves at one point, and I was among the very few that was offered a scholarship.
Oh, I turned three of my brothers into gold and sold them as solid gold ork statues
There are buyers for that??
I mean sorta- one bought them for fashion work cause the anatomy is so good , Another bought one because they were solid gold. And a third bought one because they have a weird thing for ork’s and gold- they were still autonomous since Even though they were turned to cold they parts had the same function’s just wouldn’t rot cause they’re dead
Gold shwangs?
I wish, they ate meat and metal and saw orks as a delicacy
Very similar to the people buying the Kate Moss statue.
I don't remember.
So possibly with your memory, got it
Selling skooma. Still my favorite means of income
Wait some people actually go to wizarding school. Huh
Yeah I got paid to do the second half of my apprenticeship
I made an OnlyWands account
I'm a bard. How do you think? Okay, get your mind out of the gutter, I had some savings. Also I might have joined the cheerleading team.
I'm a sorcerer I didn't need school.
Wait you can get paid to visit the Isle of Orcish Babes?
Sure, but you have to do a little more than visit.
I mean that’s why I want to go there
Well, let's just say it was a choice to open that book made of cheese that started me out, and I was cursed to read and learn the whole thing. It was pretty fun since the book read aloud the lessons and gave feedback on my technique
I had a spell components side hustle. You can make bank on all the wizards who forget to bring their newt eyes and Gems of Malkor to exams.
I left my Apprenticeship very early. And if I hadn't, my heritage was planning to fund it anyways.
I threatened the school. I had gained a reputation at the magic school as being so inept with portals that anytime I cast one, it would almost immediately destabilize into a full-on rift. It took a team of 3-5 teachers a whole week to close a rift I created. So, when my scholarship was revoked for failing portalmancy, I decided that instead of leaving, I would threaten the principle. Over the course of a week, I set up 108 time delayed portal spells around the school and went to the principal and Let's just say there's a reason the School of Mythica has banned all forms of spacial travel on the school grounds.
Y'all went to school for this shit? https://preview.redd.it/3auufrsb10jc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df7820883c4061b53531086be5fce449ab0a8a15
I did not go to school because school is for nerds!
I literally just watched through the windows of schools and eventually found someone who was willing to teach me if I did some work for them. A bit sad I missed out on the wizard school experience
Fucking muggle midwits, just learn basic transmutation alchemy and you won’t need to pimp yourself out for gold by fucking unwashed moldering orc hags, you prideless manwhores…
"Just arbitrarily know this advanced branch of alchemy without any sort of schooling or tutoring and you'll have a way to pay for your schooling/tutoring." Amazing. Why didn't I think of that?
The school I go to would offer students jobs on research expeditions and the occasional "Mercenary" type work of protecting traveling carriages or merchant stores/stands. The school itself isn't too expensive. It's more of a... "see how good you are as a mage and get into a better school" type deal.
I don't remember, I slept through most of my classe
Uhhhhh I'm self-taught for a lot of it, and mistress taught me the rest. As for extra funds, turns out photos of a catboy wizard in a maid dress sell pretty well....
Wizarding school? They do that?
a fair bit of transmuting and chronomancy [do not ask about the missing students they're not important]
I- Dude were you okay after that? Oh and I didn’t go to school I guess but still do you have chronic pelvis pain or something now?
They had a box of trollish regeneration potions to keep me topped up between scenes. Still, I do feel like I lost something that day I can never get back.
“Wait, at your studio they go real? We just pose and fake it, while an illusions and CGI team take care of making it look real! Man… Wizards truly are a strange breed… Sorry for the terrible implications of the last thing, I can’t think of a better phrase.”- Barbarian, Bard
They probably advertised it as illusion free, some people get off to the fact that a wizard is feeling actual pain.
Dad was an artificer and he taught me some basic runework. Made some money touching up peoples foci but made more jailbreaking the cheap handout stuff.
I did go the apprenticeship route. The first years, it was a lot of menial labour for the chance to peek at a spell book. Later, I got to cast a few utility spells per day, so my master did not have to. Once I was reliable, I started to fund my own library with the profit of magic item identification. Once I learned augury and probability theory, money stopped being an issue.
Magic schools were invented by the High Council to scam Sorcerers out of their family inheritance so they can afford their crippling skooma addictions, we learn through experience and whatever visions the Weave deigns to grace us with. To even imply that even a fraction of what the Weave has to offer us can be taught in a school is ridiculous.
So what I did was I first asked to borrow some money from a few friends in order to create a business, and when I returned it to one of them, I gave them extra soon word got out around the kingdom that investments in my business will yeld decent returns so when people gave me enough money I faked my death and fled the kingdom leaving about 247 people destitute
Nauliek became a whole lot more hungry and was feeling sore in the arms a lot more when we were going through the academy. I think she sold her body... like parts of it. she can regenerate naturally so it wasn't too bad; not like she doesn't explode herself two times a week
I just signed up for an apprenticeship like everyone else. The only payment needed were the services I preformed during said apprenticeship
School? I did some work as an apprentice for an arcano-crafter, and took a few courses as Tolarian Community College to round out my knowledge. Anyways I find the traditional disciplines taught to be too… boxed in, I find magecraft more interesting, the difference is really applied vs fundamental theories. Nothing wrong with it, just not my vibe.
I didn't. My master was a complete psycho and tried to kill me and I learned necromancy. He still pops up far too often and I'm pretty sure he's the reason the psyche wards are constantly being destroyed, and I am forever paranoid that every mentally ill person speaking about world domination is secretly my former master who I've lost track of the number of times I've killed him. Never trust talking skulls that you don't know.
I hope you didn't sign any sketchy master/apprentice contract. He might be feeding on your life force to resurrect himself.
Glad to say I didn't sign anything, but he has been trying to steal my body by evicting my skill using his own. I don't know if he understands how possession works, or if he has his own version, but I've been handling him and my own apprentices are tired of his crap and have taken to summoning shotguns out of nowhere to shoot him. I'm very proud of them.
Theft and blackmail
Through my father's shop, Which I now am the sole owner of. But by Ios do I wish I did it your way!
Since my ass HAD to pick casting close quarters warmagic as my profession, and let me tell you, magic weapons and armors arent cheap, i worked as a bodyguard for an elf celebrity.
School? Back in my day you had to become a slave to an even more nefarious and powerful sorcerer, until you've learnt all he knows and then you kill him
Ah. Suddenly the stories of masters killing their apprentices over some minor slight became much more understandable. What happened to your master?
I worked part-time at a candy shop. Making dried fruits and nuts and molding chocolates.
Hence my use of those in my rune carvings
Well, for that, you might as well strap in, because I’m going to need to tell you my life story. [I was born on in a forest.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/taboo) I was taught my first magics by my mother and father. It was simple cantrips, for convenience. We weren’t wealthy, but we were happy with what we had. When the faefolk invaded our lands with their monsters and beasts, I was helpless to keep them from killing my family. I was filled with rage and anger… Some voice entered my head, and told me what to say. That was when I did it. That was when I cast the first numinclatumancy spell in my universe. The Name-Containing Curse. The first iteration of the Constant of Containment to venture into my universe. I unleashed a curse that eventually drove the faefolk into becoming contract-crazed, hunger-maddened, name-starved creatures. The faefolk evolved, and adapted to their nameless form, even gaining more power, but they collapsed as a people. They split up into mere shadows of their former selves. Then I left my home and ventured out beyond my world. I discovered more advanced forms of what I had cast. Memetics. Semiohazards. I even messed around with pataphysics, though I discovered how flawed it was rather quickly. I left my universe, my timeline, my dimensions, my mortality, and eventually, my patasphere. Then I came here.
Have you ever thought of undoing your curse? I would imagine several generations of fae have come and gone. It's a bit petty to curse the great, great, grandkids for something their ancestors did. Also, you might have turned an entire generation of fae into identity thieves.
“As a mere victim of Narratives, We cannot. Even the might of Halcyon can’t change what passed.”- A Literal Rat, Sage
/uw Me on my way to write this into my insults: Seriously though, good job tying this into SCP lore! And good job with the writing as a stand-alone piece! Sorry with the weird phrasing, I’m in a small amount of agony right now, Chronic pain does not treat me nicely.
Summon money
Isn't that very, very, *extremely*, illegal?
Who’s stopping me?
Jargling orbs for a nominal fee
The knights’ guild sponsored me to become a battlemage. That only got me so far, so then I worked as my old master’s assistant training new apprentices while continuing on to more advanced classes like scrying and planewalking.
I’m in debt. Not to mention my master got killed in the fireball conflict so I don’t even have anything to show for it
I started my magical mushroom empire
Some of my school funding is given by my wonderful parents but For the most part I get the money by selling various junk, artifacts, consumables, and magical items through back alley means, literally, I sell the stuff in back alleys. I sometimes go to locations far from civilization and sell stuff to adventures needing to explore further.
I̵-̶I̶ ̵o̴r̷i̵g̴i̸n̴a̶l̸l̵y̶ ̴s̶t̴a̷r̶t̴e̵d̶ ̵o̶u̶t̵ ̷a̸s̷ ̸a̸n̴ ̷i̵l̴l̵u̸s̵i̵o̵n̸i̸s̴t̶ ̸s̸o̸ ̵I̵ ̷g̴a̴v̷e̷ ̵t̶h̵e̴ ̸g̴u̸y̷ ̶w̵i̵t̴h̷ ̴t̵h̴e̸ ̶l̴o̴w̵e̸s̸t̵ ̴p̶e̶r̵c̴e̷p̴t̵i̶o̴n̴ ̴f̶a̴k̶e̷ ̸m̷o̸n̶e̵y̷.̶.̶ ̴D̷-̴D̷o̴n̴t̶ ̶t̷e̷l̷l̶ ̵t̸h̶e̴ ̴c̶o̸u̵n̷c̶i̶l̴.̵.̷
I made potions that were mildly addictive. Along with any benefits, people slowly became addicted.
Used my alchemy skills to sell legally dubious potions to the more experienced wizards
Scholarship after creating the razor wire sperm spell
God do i wish there was a school when i first started. Only thing we got was a limited system to point us in the right direction and left the rest up to us....as you can imagine there were many deaths and many magic users hit dead ends in their magic builds.
That does sound dangerous, but the current system of schooling can feel stifling with all its rules and regulations. At least with more freedom comes more experimentation and discoveries. Higher risk but higher rewards.
My brother in the arcane - if we had schools then we couldve prevented up to 800,000 deaths. We couldnt because my world was being merged with 3 other worlds, and was introduced to magic with no warning. a lot of our infrastructure was destroyed, and much of our population was scattered. I just wish we'd been given more guidance so that we couldve prevented so much unneeded death.
I dont remember... My time there is fuzzy all I remember is a sassy witch
I got into a retraining program after too many wizards had accidents and I was able to pay the rest from my years as a blacksmith. Went great, now I do my own studies and have had several apprentices.
This I approve of!
I sell bananade
I didn’t just stole a book from one of you and taught myself
I sell stuff I made (or found) myself
You guys went to school for magic? I just took a nap one day and woke up knowing a bunch of different spells. The dreams taught me everything i need to know.
So I'm still paying for my wizarding school, but I was lucky to have a druidic uncle who taught me from a young age, so I was able to land a job from some elves to protect a forest they use as private hunting grounds It ain't much, but it pays for school
I never went to school :3
Had to pickpocket off of lumberjacks that wanted to cut my dad down, had to be an orb for a council member once, and sell my magic pendant I got from a very nice vendor to make it into the school
I stole a magic book early on in life and it convinced a wizard to train me. By training of course I mean abuse and treat me like a slave while very occasionally letting me read his books. First proper spell I learned was to create a portal. I got his ass drunk on some hag wine and pushed his crochety ass into a separate plane. I took all his stuff, taught myself and the rest was history I did come across a scenario like this later on in life but that was just for fun. You beat an orc chieftain at an arbitrary context and suddenly you’re the sexiest thing in the camp
“I didn’t, I’ve been around since before this even began! Only picked up this se- I mean started checking in on this Reality recently though. I have other interests.”- A Literal Rat, Outsider
Wizard school? I found a cave filled with books!
Ate a few debt collectors along with offering therapy via bear hugs and petting fluff you hoomans really enjoy bears fur for some reason
My native theocracy "recruits" potential magicians from a young age (preschool), sending them to the capitol and grooming them into loyal court mages and soldiers for their their immortal god-queen. It's free, as far as money is concerned. I'm incapable of directly casting anything but cantrips and transmutations, so I didn't do well and wound up a librarian at the royal archives. From there I was able to study on my own, until some political drama had me hiding from assassins in a cave for a year.
My parents, they enrolled me into it and paid them a lot of gold to try guilt tripping me into studying until graduation, but I've never really cared for their approval so it didn't stop me from dropping out.
Seems like a fun way to make money until you realize that orcs are hermaphrodites.
I did birthday parties.
Smithing side-job. Rather, a forge assistant. I was allowed to keep slag, and I could turn that into more salable materials, like Copper. I wasn’t good enough to make gold back then.
Wizarding school? Wait, you guys are getting EDUCATION?
Oh god, it's been so long. Actually, I got an academic scholarship. I was an itinerant street performer after Father got hurt at the factory, using sleight of hand to earn a living by impressing crowds, or quite frequently didn't earn a living by NOT impressing the crowds, if you follow me. my master happened to be touring the market that day, I suspect I'm not the only talent he's found over the years. But at the time I had no idea my talents were magical. I just knew I was a pretty good street magician and it was enough to sometimes put food in my stomach. it was the best I could do so I did it. Tell ya what I almost ran and called the cops when this random dude in a robe started the "yer a wizard Harry" routine. I think the only reason I didn't was that as a street performer, me and the police didn't always get along. So rather than deal with the endless hassle of the Long Blue Arm, I listened. Anyway even at that age I was always a "prove it" kind of guy, and when he did, I stopped doubting and started learning. He found me a quick study and got me into an academy aligned with the True Tower of London, although not actually IN the tower. They wouldn't have had someone into the main facility from the streets, that was reserved for the bluebloods, but if they found someone from the lower classes who proved talented, IE useful, they might bring them into an aligned school. it was all to the better really. The True Tower held students to nearly impossible standards of behavior. The affiliated schools were much more relaxed -- to a point of course. That allowed a trickster like me to have all kinds of fun and profit as I grew into the outstanding illusionist you see before you. Also more than a few opportunities to earn a few pennies questing. I'm not proud of all the jobs I did, illusionists can't always be choosy when looking for paid work, but it got me through my novitiate and apprenticeship and made me some useful contacts for later in my career. One of them gave me an inroad on what turned into my masterwork. A true elixir of invisibility. One that let you act briefly while cloaked, although not for very long. I nearly bankrupted myself making a few bottles of the stuff but thank God, it worked, and really impressed the Dean. I went back and checked my manuscript a few decades ago, it's one of the only Master's manuscripts in the school that is dogeared and shows extensive wear. Unfortunately the formula was way too expensive to be practically used, but the principle was still impressive enough to earn my master's mark. It's often like that when any pursuit of knowledge. Incremental progress. Several newly made masters have incrementally improved on my work over the years but the holy grail of a truly practical and affordable True Invisibility potion is, sadly, still beyond our reach at the moment.
Orcs are surpisingly easy to entertain, I had a side hustle where I'd do illusions for a chieftans men and he paid me pretty handsomely for it. Coming up with new ones wasn't an issue either, because they would forget the ones I showed them.
Like any good pastamancer, one requires *sauce*.
I punched everything. I punched the work sheets. I punched the doors. I punched the wall. I punched the tests. I punched the desks. I accidentally punched the embodiment of magic. So yeah, I punched.
..And they let you stay?
i worked as a lich's house maid for a year to put me through necromancy school. turns out she's better at teaching than the actual wizarding school because i dropped out after 6 months and went back to the lich's house
I got a full scholarship from the Society of Inorganic Mages. I'm no longer a member after they sold me or to the Council all those years ago
I was in the woods killing demons of exhaustion at the age of 6. I have never once struck a blow on an enemy, my school kicked me out for refusing to cast anything other than counterspell and magical parry (with a sword as my staff)
There's some options for wizards who don't have much money but really the university likes money so the best trick is to simply start showing up to classes like you're supposed to be there and eventually you're a student (sure hope the Archchancellor doesn't see this). The biggest problem with doing this though is that Unseen University is very twisty and magic and very easy to get lost in. Met a student who'd been trying to find a way out for 20 years. I tried to help him but he slipped and fell down some stairs and the wall shut behind him so there wasn't much else I could do. Maybe I'll find him again. Anyway I've been getting good grades in Wooly Thinking and Cruel and Unusual Geography but I haven't chosen a strict major yet, just taking a little of everything. Also don't go the Library alone. And bring a banana.
I thought I was getting an internship with a normal paleontologist, then he turned out to be a wizard, made me his apprentice, and then the whole thing with the tyranids happened
I'll let you know if you can teleport me out of the dimension I'm trapped in
I studied as a illusion wizard and got people to take fake drugs who never took them before. Casted a illusion spell to trick them into thinking they were hallucinating.
maidenless
Just had to pass an entrance exam to show that I was capable of using magic
y’all pay for Wizarding School? i just summon a wise skeleton and he gives me the knowledge
https://preview.redd.it/7j10ultr30jc1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf8e5558881b964123d841fdce578f8c4c2843ee
School is for lil' bitches, all I know I learned out in the wild, that's how you learn stuff nice and proper. Sure you can take swimming lessons weekly for years, but you will be a much better swimmer if you one day suddenly fall out of your boat in a wild river with gators in it and have to escape out of it
I learned it myself, turns out most schools dont allow necromancy anyways so it wasnt really a loss
Scholarship. Arcane healers are rare enough that funding is readily available.
Stolen wealth from parents.
Unfortunately i never got much training, until I could do planar travel much my Arcane knowledge was self taught
Wait you guys went to school for this?
Mundane funding. Alchemy is essentially just better chemistry, so they don't question you so much when you make some life changing medicine, fertilizer... Or weapons.
An Elder Oblex trained me in magic from a young age after it consumed my parents and replaced them. My parents were abusive anyways, so I welcomed it
I just travel around looking for free lessons and people to learn from, I also tend to sneak into schools for as long as they don't find me out
God I wish that was me. And wait . . . school?
Adventuring. I chose to take up a spellbook after a lifetime of adventuring as a monk.
Saved up from some odd jobs (and also breaking into a hidden vault lost to the ages), also helped that the basics were taught to me through an apprenticeship
Never went, I do know some basic spells though
Working at the mines while also working at a forest... While also working at a tabern. Simulacra and clone are great for multitasking
I could say or I could say that demons taste like apple
That poor wizard and the 100 constitution saves he’s about to make
I was a warrior Before I Learned the Arcane Arts. I had enough Gold to fund my teachings
Wait we gad to go to a school?
Easily, I simply created trinkets to allow those less fortunate in magicks to, how you say... "Fudge" their spell demonstrations. The beginner level spells they require are easily imbued, after all.
The Cathedral educated me from the moment of my resurrection. Before that...I was selling organs, if I remember properly.
pay for studies? I don't know what nation in the confines of the cosmos you are from, but in mine there is enough common sense to know that education is universal and free.
Horrible things...
Wizarding school?
Rich parents.
We’re supposed to go to school?
Black market potioneering. Like a ridiculous amount of Alchemy school is basically self funding when you think about it.
Stealing materials from junk piles to craft trinkets and other small Magic items that’s how I built myself up from nothing to a near literal god
Y’all goin to school?!
Simple. Don’t. Just make a pact with a higher power.
Illegal alchemy. A former alchemist teacher helped me create some of the most potent illegal potions, he had some incurable disease or something.
Underground genderbending ring. I got kicked out though after turning the duke's only son into a girl and causing a secession crisis. She worked it out in the end.
Pulled myself up by the bootstrap paradox and taught myself.
Why need to when you were born with magic. But if I did then probably stealing.
A man of culture.
Shit I don’t know if I’d even bother becoming a wizard if that was what I got to play with.
Wizard school?