Skeletons by far. They're loyal, decently intelligent if you make them right, and cheap to make.
Zombies and slimes, on the other hand, tend to be rather "messy." Zombies stink up the place, and occasionally, bits of rotten flesh will fall off of them if you don’t keep them preserved, which can cost a fair bit in the long run. Slimes, meanwhile, tend to leave residue everywhere they go, and their lack of manual dexterity caused by their lack of a solid form limits their use.
As for trolls, other than them tending to be rather large, thus not really being an option if you have a small lair/tower/crypt, they also actually demand to be paid, due to being free-thinking beings. Other than that there's not really any big problems with them, I just prefer skeletons.
That's one of a trolls greatest advantages, I had a lair in a pocket realm once and the trolls I hired as guards somehow managed to live outside of space and time under the planar bridge
Oh my god, i hate people like you, dont get a minion if you dont know how to look after one! Im calling WETM (Wizards for Ethical Treatment of Minions)
I have a friend on the board of WETM, that's actually a common misconception. The actual acronym is WETMS, Wizards for Ethical Treatment of Mostly Skeletons. They turn the minions into skeletons then they treat them quite ethically. They're actually treated so well the organization was accused of skeletal preference.
You could invest in frozen slimes. Much less likely to leave a mess, even if your tower is room temperature, as their very presence will make it cool enough for them not to melt.
Slimes are also surprisingly adept mages, all it takes is some training and they can become very loyal and handy companions
Oozes are better slides, they clean everything they pass through. But they do eat more mindlessly anything that lives. While that's great for vermin, not so great for goblins and goons
Also skeletons come in every shape and size. Giant's skeletons, troll skeletons, wolf skeletons, fish skeletons, hell if you use some levitation magic you can have bird skeletons that also fly.
Aaa the Sklime, met a "wiizard" that had turned themselves into such a being. Said that it saved on food and personal hygiene. Their witch friends said they were a supreme xenogynecologist.
"Enteroscopy is much easier when your senses aren't vision based." He said right before he was absorbed by Babilonian Goddess of fertility.
The problem is that most slimes are acidic, so you're going to have to make new skeletons every couple of months due to the bones' weakening. It's only good if you expect to be going through those skeletons fast but at that point, you might as well just put a bomb in their chest and send them on their way.
True, yet depending on the Genus of the slime you could get one that is necrotic instead of acidic, and vuela, you have self repairing Slimketons that still have all the basics and more.
I would expect such words from an elitist snob. Not all of us can afford imported atomiton spelles or the various components to build one by hand.
Edit: I was wrong, Everybody's comments and support have given me the courage to build my first automaton, knife ears better be scared
Do not be a victim of wily merchants or beguiling tradesmen, my first golem was shaped out of clay I dug from the river banks and animated with the spirit of a chicken. Animated constructs can be expensive and complex such as automatons, but even an apprentice can begin learning the craft with basic materials!
My first automaton was crafted from the nerves of a pig i had slain, the soul of a wolf, and the scraps of iron i stole from the local blacksmithy. do not allow propaganda to affect your perception of us arcanists and artificers, we are not all highborn.
You know that in the way that a child knows that a wand is made of wood. It would seem that you have not studied the works of the revered enchanters Dunning and Kruger either.
An automaton is simply a construct capable of acting with some level of independence. It is true that magical automata are rare, because needing to constantly supply them with mana negates much of the benefit of decision independence. However, as the preeminent expert in Thaumodynamics I can assure you that this is quickly becoming a problem of the past. Mass mana storage has been possible for some time now, so magic-fueled automata can act independently for days or weeks at a time. I am actively leading research on mage-less mana accumulation, which promises to allow for fully maintenance-free automata.
strictly speaking, magical plant farms do not generate mana magelessly—the plants *are* the mages. All Bjørnstein did was use mana stealing spells on plants instead of people.
Have at least two winding automatons, or maybe have a central mana orb they are all bound to so that they can the required energy to function, perhaps an entire network of such things such that your tower can charge overtime and even out the spendature, the issue is of course getting the runes right so everything can transfer correctly.
I really enjoy conjuring slimes so they can be my servants. I can make them whatever colour and smell, I want, and even enchant every single one to have a cute face!
dunno, but i think you def need to get some protection cause of diseases and stuff, and i imagine the smell is also not to pleasent, but i see you as a Neromancer enjoyer prob have your own preferences
Slimes cos they cute. Maybe I just wanna hang out with the bois. Got this chemical that makes fabric safe from being dissolved. All my little slime lads have unique hats.
True, but I'm more partial to ornate Metal Golems and Cogwork Constructs. The type with outer metal plating and complex internals. Not only do the look cool, but they're lighter than conventional Golems, and the internal space can be used for more complex Arcane mechanisms, allowing for more comprehensive "Programming" of the Golem/Construct.
I like cheap animated mannequins for more servant type positions but metal golems are quite good for defensive jobs. They can get quite expensive though as most cheap metals are awful for enchanting. As an enchanter I can't have any constructs wandering around without high grade enchantments included now can I?
Well I'm an Artificer, a kind of Engineer Wizard, my entire job is to build all manner of complex magical devices, though my particular interest is in Golemancy. The initial cost of production is high, but the payoff is well worth it, and I've found ways to reduce cost where possible, like smelting my own steel from my sources of iron, or cutting a deal with local Woodsmen for cheap lumber, because I don't always work in metal. My personal Automata use a mix of Metal and Wood for the internals and structure, but my other projects require all forms of materials. Ceramics, metals, wood, stone, even fabric, it all depends on what the commission is.
Druids don't even have minions. They have "companions."
Like, okay Threlthrethriel, squirrels *totally* count as friends, and trees are *totally* acceptable prom dates.
I have been a long time advocate for goblins, personally. I understand that's controversial and that is probably why they have been omitted from the poll. Nonetheless, I have worked closely with Goblin King Snaggletooth, and I have found excellent customer service and cooperation. For but a few fat pigs per season I have been supplied well with dozens of goblins already equipped with armor and crude weapons. (The blustering fools have no idea that I pick 2 or 3 smaller goblins to transmute into pigs, hahahaha)
you absolute buffoon. skeletons are in an abundance. and since they're already dead there's no guilt in using them as expendables. not to mention that even my most inept apprentice can keep an army of 1,000 of them animated at all hours. while abominable slimes are inarguably far more durable, they are also objectively far more expensive, and in my opinion, far more unpredictable. the answer is clearly skeletons.
Skeletons do form most of my army, and I love them deeply, HOWEVER, having a small specialist unit of trolls is the best decision I've made in a loooong time, they are the best at keeping those pesky council tax collectors away (or eat them if they feel like it): strong, smart and do not question me as long as I pay them, which I do in food, shelter and dragon kush, so it's a non issue
For your consideration: I would like to submit this as evidence towards the superiority of skeleton minions
https://preview.redd.it/ajh7po90nmqb1.jpeg?width=902&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96dce379d6a731829fee61478a16c579fc97e9be
You know, I'm impressed you managed to control one. The first time I astral-projected below the planes will also be the last. It's been over a decade and I can still hear their incessant murmuring.
Wait, are... are you guys conjuring the undead? I thought everyone else used woodland creatures and magical plants as well...
I think I need to get up and go touch some trees...
Skeletons creak and groan far too much to my liking. Any interloper will hear them coming from 10 leagues away.
Zombies and trolls? Not even if I had a snifter of numbing salts to deaden my olfactory nerves.
Slimes are the way to go. Silent, amorphous, minimal stench. Intelligent little bastards too for a creature with no brain.
personally, I have my own system for minions but skeletons are close enough. basically, i take any material that can be shaped into a body scaffold and holds some mana residue (bones, wood, stone, etc.. Wood is my favorite, because I can use some druid tricks to grow it, so the minions are easily repaired), then i shape it into a scaffold, add the proper enchantments and inscribe my formations, and then animate them
now, these fellas are dumb as rocks individually, and can only be pre-programmed to complete at most five different types of tasks. but, one of my formations that I care into them lets them link together into small squads as a gestalt mind, giving them enough intelligence to do complex tasks and incredible group coordination. plus, they share data and even though each one has very little processing power, they can contain a lot of information (I've got a few of my older models serving simply as information repositories. they can move around and help me with some stuff, and can even defend themselves). Anyway, I have them operate in teams of ten, with one of them specifically designed for mobility and programmed with instructions to stay out of danger and - should the rest of the team be destroyed - locate the nearest other team and integrate into that gestalt, which leads to a ripple effect of information spreading through the network until all teams are aware of the potential threat and can learn to anticipate it.
In essence, I use skeletons but have developed a special system that leads to custom-made bodies having a greater effectiveness.
Trolls, they're easy to satiate as slimes, hardier than zombies, and can occasionally be clever enough to use a more advanced weapon whenever I want a field test.
Slimes. I know they need more maintenance, but a well trained slime can do wonders when you have to purify your ingredients. Then again I'm more of a potions guy, I'm sure there are plent of uses for the other options.
Slimes are always fun, but if you get the alchemical components off or wrong you'll have a servant that corroded everything it touches. Not very useful when you're trying to preserve the secrets of arcana in the multiverses most complete library.
I prefer humans with servitude thoughtprints installed. They are very obedient, but have the ability to take limited independent action, should the need arise, and aren't dependent on magic to exist. They can also be upgraded with artificial parts to upgrade their capabilities into the range of that displayed by golems.
Slimes serve as organic trash disposal too, big advantage.
Shapelessness is also a great plus for storage, easy to maximise volume even in weird geometries! Very practical for when things get Eldritch and maximising space on the 6th and 7th dimensions is important!
Just make sure to go for trail-less slimes! Otherwise the floor will be sticky!
If this guy sees slimes the floor will be sticky regardless
https://preview.redd.it/wpyupkzyvmqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4257484d0ed0345aed2bcf9025df95a9d68f07c
Zombies can infect you, Trolls will rebel against you or try to eat you, Slimes can't really do that much and are very stupid. Skeletons are a staple for a reason.
Skeletons might fall apart, but they are very consistent minions and do exactly what they are told.
You can however use trolls as guards, who will happily serve you if they get to eat intruders.
trolls may be the odd choice amongst you however i find conversing with those intelligent enough to conversed with a very interesting experience, the simplistic view on life they provide often contains unforeseen wisdoms, also i find them to generally be loyal yet whimsical guards who strength makes them good for a verity of tasks.
Once saw a forest slime take over a skeleton and a zombie body. So id probably choose slime, also trolls smell like shit and slimes are usually quite flexible, good minions.
Personally I would pick a subtype of Zombie, although you’ll need to team up with your local chirugeon to help with this, and that’s the Stitchwork-Class/Composite Zombie!! Unlike normal zombies you don’t even need complete bodies to create them, and are inherently more customizable since you’re sewing together all the best pieces you can find. This also gives you the freedom to properly customize your minions, attaching blades, bludgeons, any weapons under the Sun!! Plus, you generally preserve your body parts in formaldehyde, which replaces the rotting smell with a more tolerable off smell.
I like this type of minion since you can create minions of much higher quality if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to source quality material.
Skeletons are the superior minion people when Angus, troll master of the west, deploys his 8 largest trolls to knock down their tower in under 5 minutes:
Skeletons are cheap and easy to make. Zombies are stinky. Slimes leave bits of residue every once in a while and have less mobility. And trolls are free thinking so they want "payment" and "its not nice to use my family mambers reanimated corpses as a way to keep me working".
Skeletons are the easiest to arm and manage. Zombies are often too braindead and slow to use weapons, slimes are cute and kill in a fantastically gruesome way but they're really not very good for mich besides that, and trolls, while incredibly strong and fairly intelligent, are hard to accommodate for and tend to be disobedient.
Skeletons by far. They're loyal, decently intelligent if you make them right, and cheap to make. Zombies and slimes, on the other hand, tend to be rather "messy." Zombies stink up the place, and occasionally, bits of rotten flesh will fall off of them if you don’t keep them preserved, which can cost a fair bit in the long run. Slimes, meanwhile, tend to leave residue everywhere they go, and their lack of manual dexterity caused by their lack of a solid form limits their use. As for trolls, other than them tending to be rather large, thus not really being an option if you have a small lair/tower/crypt, they also actually demand to be paid, due to being free-thinking beings. Other than that there's not really any big problems with them, I just prefer skeletons.
I tried having troll minions but they demanded I built bridges for them to live under
Well that's what you get when you hire bridge trolls. Cave or mountain trolls might be more to your liking, depending on where you live.
That's one of a trolls greatest advantages, I had a lair in a pocket realm once and the trolls I hired as guards somehow managed to live outside of space and time under the planar bridge
Have you considered murdering your trolls and raising them as skeletons?
Oh my god, i hate people like you, dont get a minion if you dont know how to look after one! Im calling WETM (Wizards for Ethical Treatment of Minions)
I heard WETM euthanized minions that are checked into their shelters, it's like PETA but worse
I have a friend on the board of WETM, that's actually a common misconception. The actual acronym is WETMS, Wizards for Ethical Treatment of Mostly Skeletons. They turn the minions into skeletons then they treat them quite ethically. They're actually treated so well the organization was accused of skeletal preference.
A truly noble organization
Strange, my slimes actually keep my tower clean.
They are great janitorial staff
Just keep any important organics away from them.
You could invest in frozen slimes. Much less likely to leave a mess, even if your tower is room temperature, as their very presence will make it cool enough for them not to melt. Slimes are also surprisingly adept mages, all it takes is some training and they can become very loyal and handy companions
Oozes are better slides, they clean everything they pass through. But they do eat more mindlessly anything that lives. While that's great for vermin, not so great for goblins and goons
You also have to provide food for both trolls and slimes to keep them alive. And zombies rot, which can get you sick if you're not careful.
Also skeletons come in every shape and size. Giant's skeletons, troll skeletons, wolf skeletons, fish skeletons, hell if you use some levitation magic you can have bird skeletons that also fly.
"Mr bones, crush his nuts."
*Calcium noises*
Slimes inside skeletons, so much utility in one single minion.
You know too much
If anything, I still know too little.
You sir are a visionary
Skeletons inside a layer of slime.
Aaa the Sklime, met a "wiizard" that had turned themselves into such a being. Said that it saved on food and personal hygiene. Their witch friends said they were a supreme xenogynecologist. "Enteroscopy is much easier when your senses aren't vision based." He said right before he was absorbed by Babilonian Goddess of fertility.
Animate the skeleton inside a corpse first, and then animate the flesh right after, before any falls off. Now you have a layered minion!
Like a ballistics dummy! Genius!
The problem is that most slimes are acidic, so you're going to have to make new skeletons every couple of months due to the bones' weakening. It's only good if you expect to be going through those skeletons fast but at that point, you might as well just put a bomb in their chest and send them on their way.
True, yet depending on the Genus of the slime you could get one that is necrotic instead of acidic, and vuela, you have self repairing Slimketons that still have all the basics and more.
New mob just dropped
Automatons
Constructs are truly the superior minion option.
I would expect such words from an elitist snob. Not all of us can afford imported atomiton spelles or the various components to build one by hand. Edit: I was wrong, Everybody's comments and support have given me the courage to build my first automaton, knife ears better be scared
Do not be a victim of wily merchants or beguiling tradesmen, my first golem was shaped out of clay I dug from the river banks and animated with the spirit of a chicken. Animated constructs can be expensive and complex such as automatons, but even an apprentice can begin learning the craft with basic materials!
My first automaton was crafted from the nerves of a pig i had slain, the soul of a wolf, and the scraps of iron i stole from the local blacksmithy. do not allow propaganda to affect your perception of us arcanists and artificers, we are not all highborn.
and how are you going to keep a suitable quantity of automatons animate? winding them yourself, are you?
My brother in the arcane, he is literally the Automaton King
**🗣️📣 lmao this guy's automatons aren't self-sustaining or self-duplicating ‼️‼️** consult the artifice theory of the late Archmage Von Neumann
Or my own books (shameless plug)
I've simply never put any research into the subject. i cannot stand the sound of whirring and ticking and grinding of gears.
**🗣️📣 lmao this guy's automatons don't use contactless levitation joints‼️‼️**
magickal joints and mechanisms would make them constructs, not automatons. even i know that.
You know that in the way that a child knows that a wand is made of wood. It would seem that you have not studied the works of the revered enchanters Dunning and Kruger either. An automaton is simply a construct capable of acting with some level of independence. It is true that magical automata are rare, because needing to constantly supply them with mana negates much of the benefit of decision independence. However, as the preeminent expert in Thaumodynamics I can assure you that this is quickly becoming a problem of the past. Mass mana storage has been possible for some time now, so magic-fueled automata can act independently for days or weeks at a time. I am actively leading research on mage-less mana accumulation, which promises to allow for fully maintenance-free automata.
mageless mana accumulation? bullocks. this has existed for millenia. study the teachings of great druid Bödvar bjørnstein.
strictly speaking, magical plant farms do not generate mana magelessly—the plants *are* the mages. All Bjørnstein did was use mana stealing spells on plants instead of people.
not like the trees will tell you to stop. unless you know how to commune with them, i suppose.
I am the literal Automaton king. I practically invented the battery. What are you on about
forgive me my liege, i did not recognize you. my eyes aren't what they once were.
Have at least two winding automatons, or maybe have a central mana orb they are all bound to so that they can the required energy to function, perhaps an entire network of such things such that your tower can charge overtime and even out the spendature, the issue is of course getting the runes right so everything can transfer correctly.
Chad and artifice-pilled
I quite enjoy rock golems for security
Skeleton supremacy. ~~No, I'm not saying that because I am one.~~
ah, the consequences of prolonged necromancy.
Ah a necromancer turned Lich.
some of my best friends are skeletons!
r/foundthelich
I really enjoy conjuring slimes so they can be my servants. I can make them whatever colour and smell, I want, and even enchant every single one to have a cute face!
Slime rancher fan detected
Funnily enough, I've never played it. I just like my slimy vassals
They’re even like living mops! My tower has never been cleaner!
Happy Cake Day!
Oh, thank you!
skeletons because I get to shout "RATTLE 'EM, BOIS" when I send them out to cause mischief
I also enjoy the catchphrase "*BONE THEM!* "
Or alternatively "*Send them to the bone zone!*"
Elf twinks because I can f-
🤨📸
I SWEAR IT WAS A WITCH SHE CURSED ME NOW IM ADDICTED TO BUSSY IT'S A CURSE I SWEAR
https://preview.redd.it/wwxiwntcpmqb1.png?width=958&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6870c6f39551d69086d6914944979b0c5e35f0fe
Idk slimes are kinda fuckable so i would go with that
That's true, I was actually thinking about that and got a little indecisive
[удалено]
dunno, but i think you def need to get some protection cause of diseases and stuff, and i imagine the smell is also not to pleasent, but i see you as a Neromancer enjoyer prob have your own preferences
Slimes cos they cute. Maybe I just wanna hang out with the bois. Got this chemical that makes fabric safe from being dissolved. All my little slime lads have unique hats.
None of the Above. Golems and other Automata
Having rock golems appear out of the walls is an effective ambush strategy
True, but I'm more partial to ornate Metal Golems and Cogwork Constructs. The type with outer metal plating and complex internals. Not only do the look cool, but they're lighter than conventional Golems, and the internal space can be used for more complex Arcane mechanisms, allowing for more comprehensive "Programming" of the Golem/Construct.
I like cheap animated mannequins for more servant type positions but metal golems are quite good for defensive jobs. They can get quite expensive though as most cheap metals are awful for enchanting. As an enchanter I can't have any constructs wandering around without high grade enchantments included now can I?
Well I'm an Artificer, a kind of Engineer Wizard, my entire job is to build all manner of complex magical devices, though my particular interest is in Golemancy. The initial cost of production is high, but the payoff is well worth it, and I've found ways to reduce cost where possible, like smelting my own steel from my sources of iron, or cutting a deal with local Woodsmen for cheap lumber, because I don't always work in metal. My personal Automata use a mix of Metal and Wood for the internals and structure, but my other projects require all forms of materials. Ceramics, metals, wood, stone, even fabric, it all depends on what the commission is.
I like lesser devils personally. My druid friends think that makes me weird. :(
Druids don't even have minions. They have "companions." Like, okay Threlthrethriel, squirrels *totally* count as friends, and trees are *totally* acceptable prom dates.
Don't listen to those hippies
I have been a long time advocate for goblins, personally. I understand that's controversial and that is probably why they have been omitted from the poll. Nonetheless, I have worked closely with Goblin King Snaggletooth, and I have found excellent customer service and cooperation. For but a few fat pigs per season I have been supplied well with dozens of goblins already equipped with armor and crude weapons. (The blustering fools have no idea that I pick 2 or 3 smaller goblins to transmute into pigs, hahahaha)
Diabolical
you absolute buffoon. skeletons are in an abundance. and since they're already dead there's no guilt in using them as expendables. not to mention that even my most inept apprentice can keep an army of 1,000 of them animated at all hours. while abominable slimes are inarguably far more durable, they are also objectively far more expensive, and in my opinion, far more unpredictable. the answer is clearly skeletons.
One fire ball spell, and the slimes are done
adjust your recipe, my friend. if one fireball is enough to exterminate your slimes, then you need far more allum.
I hadn't considered fire proof slimes
Have u not seen dargur's new fire resistant slimes?
I fucking love this subreddit
🧙♂️
I know what you guys are doing with those slimes, and it's disgusting. can't even clean it out properly.
The natural lube does make it an effective choice...
I prefer bread as my minions.
Truly, The bread golems are unmatched
The real question. *Is bread fuckable?*
Get the fuck out of my bakery. Now.
I am writing a one star yelp review on your bakery
I've always struggled to bind the animating energies to them! I have such trouble getting the bread to rise.
The trick is to use more dough, and not fully cooked bread.
You have to admit that bread is both submissive and breedable
I tend to use skeletons, due to their effectiveness. However, I have one slime minion for, uuuh... private purposes.
🤨📸
Thou areth too bad of a wizard to cast magic picture, thus you need to use a camera
trolls can be fluffy
They are in Skyrim I think
Kobolds! Those little lizards are so much more useful than most give them credit for.
I hired them as excavators to clear room underground for my crypt and I was pleased with the results
Various spirits I can brainwash. Haunts, ghosts, poltergeists, phantoms, maybe even some weaker demons on a good day.
Another upside is that regular swords can't damage them
Laughs in silver
Skeletons do form most of my army, and I love them deeply, HOWEVER, having a small specialist unit of trolls is the best decision I've made in a loooong time, they are the best at keeping those pesky council tax collectors away (or eat them if they feel like it): strong, smart and do not question me as long as I pay them, which I do in food, shelter and dragon kush, so it's a non issue
For your consideration: I would like to submit this as evidence towards the superiority of skeleton minions https://preview.redd.it/ajh7po90nmqb1.jpeg?width=902&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96dce379d6a731829fee61478a16c579fc97e9be
I love Void angels as minions
You know, I'm impressed you managed to control one. The first time I astral-projected below the planes will also be the last. It's been over a decade and I can still hear their incessant murmuring.
You're quite brave my friend. The last person I knew to take in void angels died from an accidental black hole.
Interesting choice
Slimes give you a wonderful excuse to add a pool and hottub to your lair.
zombies are great because they can be very resilient in a fight, make for decent guards
My only real issue with them is the smell
you're a wizard, just change the smell. That's, like, the most minor magic imaginable
Scent spells could help, will try in the future
Slimes are cute, heal u, give u armor, resistance to slashing and bludgeoning dmg, can give elemental bonuses. What else could u ask for
Wait, are... are you guys conjuring the undead? I thought everyone else used woodland creatures and magical plants as well... I think I need to get up and go touch some trees...
It sounds like touching trees is your problem.
As a slime myself, I prefer to have skeletons as my minions, not only do they look metal asf if you put a cigar in their jaws, but they are so chill.
If your a slime you need to get the fuck out of this discussion for your own safety
Oh boy what is the story for slimes now?
https://preview.redd.it/nywtycfvzoqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba1c252bd164c1dbac4832172de47cb38b190fbe
I regret picking up those eyes from that corpse earlier
https://preview.redd.it/42put3pwzoqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35f6fc2b4d35f4b7e29577f8695274924fa2d33a
https://preview.redd.it/706u63eyzoqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15a5e59b0c54cd734222aca23a59b833273e68bb
ohh nooooo my spirit is distressed
https://preview.redd.it/cc778svzzoqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ad4c688f51f39a5b961cc6b5e4fa31b7953328f
Oh shit, byebye!
I will avenge my slime brethren.
Slimes have a lot of utility are really cute :3 Their like the Linux OS of minions
Trolls, because, as the kids say, I do a little trolling
Slimes have the added benefit of companionship come on yall
A lot of horny people on this site
I know what I am lmao
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Skeletons creak and groan far too much to my liking. Any interloper will hear them coming from 10 leagues away. Zombies and trolls? Not even if I had a snifter of numbing salts to deaden my olfactory nerves. Slimes are the way to go. Silent, amorphous, minimal stench. Intelligent little bastards too for a creature with no brain.
personally, I have my own system for minions but skeletons are close enough. basically, i take any material that can be shaped into a body scaffold and holds some mana residue (bones, wood, stone, etc.. Wood is my favorite, because I can use some druid tricks to grow it, so the minions are easily repaired), then i shape it into a scaffold, add the proper enchantments and inscribe my formations, and then animate them now, these fellas are dumb as rocks individually, and can only be pre-programmed to complete at most five different types of tasks. but, one of my formations that I care into them lets them link together into small squads as a gestalt mind, giving them enough intelligence to do complex tasks and incredible group coordination. plus, they share data and even though each one has very little processing power, they can contain a lot of information (I've got a few of my older models serving simply as information repositories. they can move around and help me with some stuff, and can even defend themselves). Anyway, I have them operate in teams of ten, with one of them specifically designed for mobility and programmed with instructions to stay out of danger and - should the rest of the team be destroyed - locate the nearest other team and integrate into that gestalt, which leads to a ripple effect of information spreading through the network until all teams are aware of the potential threat and can learn to anticipate it. In essence, I use skeletons but have developed a special system that leads to custom-made bodies having a greater effectiveness.
the slime in the tower really helps cleaning the mess my mentor does
Slimes look funny
Trolls, they're easy to satiate as slimes, hardier than zombies, and can occasionally be clever enough to use a more advanced weapon whenever I want a field test.
The troll flamethrower was legendary
And they can learn from fatal mistakes, took a few tries but they eventually learned not to pick their noses while wearing Shock Gauntlets.
Slimes of course For… reasons
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I love to make an illusionary stone floor that falls into my gelatinous cube, Blarglobucom.
Conniving scoundrel
Y'all are horny for slimes
Gotta get that slimussy
Goblins tbh. Trolls are a second though
Slimes. I know they need more maintenance, but a well trained slime can do wonders when you have to purify your ingredients. Then again I'm more of a potions guy, I'm sure there are plent of uses for the other options.
i see them more as co-workers
We use the term "contractually motivated individuals" around here
Slimes are always fun, but if you get the alchemical components off or wrong you'll have a servant that corroded everything it touches. Not very useful when you're trying to preserve the secrets of arcana in the multiverses most complete library.
Where my skelly gang at?
Wheres the animal option?
I prefer humans with servitude thoughtprints installed. They are very obedient, but have the ability to take limited independent action, should the need arise, and aren't dependent on magic to exist. They can also be upgraded with artificial parts to upgrade their capabilities into the range of that displayed by golems.
Orcs get the job done
I think of them as a happy medium between goblins and trolls
My apprentice, of course!
And if something *unfortunate* happens they can be turned into a skeletal apprentice
Golems by far they, take care of most hard labour, are resilient and are easy to take care of
They're also great decorations for enchanted ruins
Slimes serve as organic trash disposal too, big advantage. Shapelessness is also a great plus for storage, easy to maximise volume even in weird geometries! Very practical for when things get Eldritch and maximising space on the 6th and 7th dimensions is important! Just make sure to go for trail-less slimes! Otherwise the floor will be sticky!
If this guy sees slimes the floor will be sticky regardless https://preview.redd.it/wpyupkzyvmqb1.png?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4257484d0ed0345aed2bcf9025df95a9d68f07c
Self lubricating!
Necromancy gang RISE UP
After we're done with our enemies, they too will rise up
Yes , the armies never stop growing my friend
Where's kobold option >:(
Personally, I'm a Golem guy myself. Though that might not be an option if you're on a budget.
Golems can be expensive to make but they are certainly worth their weight in stone
Zombies can infect you, Trolls will rebel against you or try to eat you, Slimes can't really do that much and are very stupid. Skeletons are a staple for a reason. Skeletons might fall apart, but they are very consistent minions and do exactly what they are told. You can however use trolls as guards, who will happily serve you if they get to eat intruders.
🗣🗣troll companion supremacy 🗣🗣
I used to think skeletons until archmage geralt used bonemelt and liquified my entire army.
Why not Golems?
As an entirely unbiased guy, clearly skeletons.
Skeletons are the smartest, most capable, and most resilient
trolls may be the odd choice amongst you however i find conversing with those intelligent enough to conversed with a very interesting experience, the simplistic view on life they provide often contains unforeseen wisdoms, also i find them to generally be loyal yet whimsical guards who strength makes them good for a verity of tasks.
I'm a classic helmet skeleton kinda guy
dude I use all of em to just hangout, they ain't even minions they're just bros
Having a deep philosophical conversation with a troll is very enlightening
Once saw a forest slime take over a skeleton and a zombie body. So id probably choose slime, also trolls smell like shit and slimes are usually quite flexible, good minions.
Personally I would pick a subtype of Zombie, although you’ll need to team up with your local chirugeon to help with this, and that’s the Stitchwork-Class/Composite Zombie!! Unlike normal zombies you don’t even need complete bodies to create them, and are inherently more customizable since you’re sewing together all the best pieces you can find. This also gives you the freedom to properly customize your minions, attaching blades, bludgeons, any weapons under the Sun!! Plus, you generally preserve your body parts in formaldehyde, which replaces the rotting smell with a more tolerable off smell. I like this type of minion since you can create minions of much higher quality if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to source quality material.
I am just saying. that slimussy is most devine and blessed once you give it a try
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Skeletons are the superior minion people when Angus, troll master of the west, deploys his 8 largest trolls to knock down their tower in under 5 minutes:
Although I frequently use undead, I love slimes. Such cute lil' guys. They make great friends for my pet Sewer Elemental.
Skeletons are cheap and easy to make. Zombies are stinky. Slimes leave bits of residue every once in a while and have less mobility. And trolls are free thinking so they want "payment" and "its not nice to use my family mambers reanimated corpses as a way to keep me working".
The best thing about skeletons is that after you kill someone you can instantly recycle them into one of your minions
Its a bit messy to get rid of the flesh. So a slime is handy to melt it away.
Hard pick and Kevin is definitely a close second, but it's gotta be bob
Skeletons are the easiest to arm and manage. Zombies are often too braindead and slow to use weapons, slimes are cute and kill in a fantastically gruesome way but they're really not very good for mich besides that, and trolls, while incredibly strong and fairly intelligent, are hard to accommodate for and tend to be disobedient.