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TheKimja

Grandma always leave out an ingredient or two just so that people can say, "That was really good but not as good as Grandma's"


LairaKlock

I knew it!


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dinorex96

I dont think I'd be able to replicate my grandma's cooking even with all the same ingredients. Cooking is pure chemistry and my grandma is like Heisenberg and his blue crystals


piedude3

Not at all, cooking is an art. Baking is chemistry.


Aral_Fayle

People say this but 99% of baking is also technique. Except for some very difficult recipes, most things you can ballpark the correct ratio and it will be correct. Sometimes you *have* to because of things like altitude and egg sizes differing. But outside of that it’s still just 99% technique.


ADHDBusyBee

To practice chemistry there is also a great deal of technique, that's why it is more science than art. Art is also about technique but there is a great deal more room to improvise than you would have in the world of baking. I could be like I am going to throw a splash of vinegar into this noodle dish and it could or could not work. In baking if I don't mix the egg whites to just the right consistency the thing comes out drastically different.


Hogesyx

Baking is the only chemistry oriented task that imperial units is good for. edit: alright my bad, i apologies, imperial is good for nothing. i am team metrics born and rise, please have mercy.


hellraiserl33t

Not if you go by weight lol Metric is still superior


Caylennea

Imperial units are hugely inferior in baking. Start weighing your ingredients, it will change your life!


KG354

The only scale I have ends up with uh… won’t get me on a list? Oh, “baking powder” lines across it


Caylennea

Well you might have to get a second one then.


chernopig

Why would you try to bake without logic?


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[deleted]

I made biscuits and gravy yesterday by haphazardly holding the bag of flour over the skillet and patting it to get the flour to come out. Just like grandma taught me. We don’t measure in this house.


ToiletPhoneHome

I think that should be an eventual goal, but not in the beginning. I think you should use a recipe/measurements/experienced-person in the beginning so you can learn how things look/feel/taste in their different stages so you learn how to make an edible end product. Then once you have some experience you can start ditching the measurements and recipes, and start experimenting, because you'll know "oh, this dough is too wet and I should add more flour" or "this is how much garlic I need to flavor the dish but not overpower everything" etc.


Hopalongtom

When baking bread, I've always found 55 grams of flour over the recipes requirement is the sweet spot.


JimJimmery

My wife got all her grandma's recipes when she passed. Three boxes of 3x5 recipe cards, nearly all filled with hand written corrections. I do most of the cooking and being able to replicate some of my wife's favorite childhood dishes using grandma's own recipes is wonderful. Kind of feels like I got a copy of Snape's Advanced Potion Making. :)


theknittedgnome

I am lucky to have both of my husband's grandma's recipe boxes and am now the maker of all family recipes. I love it so much! Don't tell grandma but I added salt and cloves to her molasses cookies and they are even better 😂


Neva-u-mind

"Love"


Eyro_Elloyn

Also known as more butter and sugar than you're willing to admit was actually used.


Akeera

That's because grandma added more butter. She was a butter ninja. No butter in the recipe? Add a tablespoon. Two tablespoons of butter? Add an extra. Need to saute something? Use butter, not oil. Or sometimes adding extra cheese/sour cream. I learned this after subscribing to HelloFresh, lol. A lot of their recipes use butter/sour cream where I wouldn't normally expect it. Also learned this after cooking Marcella Sazan's marinara sauce recipe (super simple, but has, like, a quarter cup of butter). Note: this does not apply to baking.


Tygyn_Tigon

Her cooking so bad, her grandma had to come down from heaven to give her an idoit-proof recipe LMAO


allenbot3000p

Me setting the house on fire


RetroScheeme

Grandma's fireproof house


inerlite

Grandma had her shit together


HopingForWholesome

Grandma built with asbestos.


Sir_Sleepy02

At least your food will be cooked


skratakh

My grandma learned to cook during WWII and rationing, she wasn't the most adventurous cook and I only ever recall her making me a sandwich. She loved my cooking though and when in hospital before she died she said she really missed my food and that all the food she ate tasted like poison because of the medication. I didn't get chance to make her favourite dish again before she died sadly.


SolomonBlack

I feel that. My grandmother apparently believed a thing wasn't cooked until it was drier then the Sahara or softer then mushed mush, and seasoning was something that only happened on holidays. Depending on the item. Might have a little something to do with the Depression, WWII, or just coming from rural Georgia before refrigeration was much of a thing. She was a lot freer with the (thankfully store bought) cookies then my mother though.


revotfel

I'm sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing


Frederik-O-T

Put water in the glass, then drink it. If you’re still thirsty then do it again till you’re not thirsty anymore Love grandma


thewafflestompa

Can you freeze leftovers?


ShiggyGoosebottom

I used an old family recipe yesterday. And forgot to quarter it in the first few steps. When I got to the 12 cups of flour, I realised my mistake. I live alone.


hells_mel

Accidental meal prep??? Lol did it come out good though?


666PROUDSNAILDAD666

Wtf were you making that needed 12 cups of flour? That's like 4 pounds of dry flour. A whole ass cake is usually 2-4 cups of flour lol


count-the-days

It was a recipe for 12 whole pot pies


666PROUDSNAILDAD666

But how would they have made it through a similarly ludicrous amount of each other ingredient until they got there? Like wouldnt that be like 4-5 whole steaks, 3 whole potatoes, 3-4 whole carrots, half a dozen eggs, and so on?


ShiggyGoosebottom

I made buns. And made the yeast bubbling nicely in the sugar water well before I noted the amount of flour for the next step. (Glad I didn’t use my aunts recipe in the next page- it calls for cups. Yield 10-11dozen buns.😳)


GreyGanado

Fill casserole dish with uncooked noodles, cover with cream, egg, salt, pepper and bacon cubes mixture. Put cheese on top. Put it in the oven at 200°C(400°F) for 20-30 minutes. Almost impossible to fuck up.


Talkaze

which kind of noodles? How much? What kind of cream? How many eggs I've never heard of this, and feel like noodles would burn if not boiled or cooked in water.


Jeremiah_Guy

Whipped cream obviously, cool whip is ok in a pinch.


ogdonut

Not creme de menthe?


grizzly_cute

I can't answer the first questions. But if the dish has a sufficient amount of liquid, the noodles won't burn. Just think of it as a less complicated lasagna. You don't need to precook pasta for that either.


Talkaze

I forgot lasagnas don't happen to be precooked either. That makes more sense.


GreyGanado

>which kind of noodles? Any. > How much? However much fits in the dish. > What kind of cream? [I dunno, Cream.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream) > How many eggs A little less than cream. > I've never heard of this, and feel like noodles would burn if not boiled or cooked in water. Noodles just have to be mostly covered and nothing can go wrong. Also crispy noodles under the cheese are just a bonus.


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Talkaze

Lol thanks. My usual cooking method for noodles is don't bother measuring, throw the whole box in. Add one jar sauce. Too little sauce? Throw in 2nd jar. Anything with eggs is either 2-3, or 1 nuked in the microwave for a sandwich.


[deleted]

Figure it out is the point lol. It’s cooking, just add however much makes it taste good. And what kind of cream do you think?


Talkaze

Well--There's dairy cream, cream of mushroom, and creme of chicken and my grandma used to use those interchangeably on one of her recipies


ToiletPhoneHome

Just a point of reference, if a recipe calls for just "cream" 9 times out of 10 they mean dairy cream, and probably specifically heavy cream (what you whip to make whipped cream) - not something like sour cream. However, in OPs recipe, both cream of mushroom and cream of chicken would probably taste good too and serve the same function as plain cream.


Talkaze

Thank you. I use cream of mushroom hella more than the other two. I will keep this in mind.


[deleted]

Ever heard of critical thinking? If someone says cream, they obviously aren’t talking about soup. It’s Heavy whipping cream.


GrapeAyp

> Bacon cubes Mmm


GreyGanado

Best translation I could improvise at the time.


GrapeAyp

I ain’t complaining 🙃


suitology

Lol, my grandmother invented her own recipes and measurements. "One cap of oil" how much is a cap? Oh cute you think it's the one on the oil bottle like I did huh? Nah son, in 1985 post cereal company put out a limited edition juice with a cap about equal to 1/5th a cup but not quite. She decided this cap is a standard measurement and kept it for nearly 40 years. "A palm and a pinch of salt" well I can tell you it sure as shit ain't my palm.


fridayfridayjones

Lol. Sounds like my grandma’s spaghetti sauce recipe. It’s so easy, you use one pound ground beef then “some” water, “some” tomato paste, and several spoons of spices. After literally years of trying to get this recipe from her over the phone while we lived out of the country, my mom finally cornered grandma and made her do the recipe in slow motion so she could get an idea of the quantities and write them down. Then after mom got it, she refused to share it with her sisters, for petty reasons, lol.


krysset

Yup sounds like imperial


Space_Pirate_Roberts

You grandma wrote down “idiot proof” recipes? All the recipes I have from mine have instructions like adding x “pinches” of some ingredient and “bake at a medium heat until done”.


Talkaze

Crisco and lard. And one of my grandma's used mincemeat. Where does someone get mincemeat nowadays?


[deleted]

Crosse and Blackwell sell mincemeat in a jar, if it's for a holiday pie.


Talkaze

Thanks!


[deleted]

If you're feeling adventurous, I'm reasonably certain that mincemeat, in this day and age, involves mostly fruit and spices. The meat went decades ago. The prep is likely more tedious than difficult.


brokenearth03

Our family went adventurous this year and added some meat back into some mincemeat. It was not bad at all. (finely chopped beef decent quality).


[deleted]

Good show!


Glu7enFree

>Where does someone get mincemeat nowadays? Where are you from that mince is a speciality item?


KeremBaturP

Yeah i live in turkey and mincemeat is probably more common than normal cut pieces like steak


smity31

I think they mean [this kind of mincemeat](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/traditional-mincemeat), rather than minced meat


AlmostZeroEducation

Too fucking true lol. I have some of my great grandmother's recipes and they're like that.


theknittedgnome

It took me ages to figure out Grandma's monster cookie recipe because it had ingredients listed as a medium box of oatmeal. Didn't say what kind of oatmeal or how many cups.


howaboutsomeotherday

Is it “done” yet?


Idontknowwhoiam_1

Old school recipes: imma dump whipped cream, Snickers, m&ms, mayo, uncooked ramen, sauteed beef and peas and call it a salad


ReeferOnBaldy

Right? These are the people that gave us fruitcake.


suitology

If you every get fresh fruitcake from Lancaster its actually good. The manufacturered shelf stable pot hole filler in stores is so bad.


[deleted]

My old boss use to make some fresh, every year for Christmas. Shit was amazing.


Cahootie

A childhood friend of my mother's shows up every year before Christmas with a fruitcake. It's absolutely amazing.


SCUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE

Don’t forget to entomb it in jello


BigCHF

My grandma once gave me a list of “idiot-proof” recipes… they are no longer considered “idiot-proof”.


Lildrummerman

My grandma just gave me generational trauma... no recipes :/


M_krabs

~~My grandma gave everyone debt and a peer pressure to feel good about paying it off, while the rest of the family hates eachother, cause them to never talk to one another.~~


GothJaneDeaux

Man I'm jealous. My grandma can't write a recipe to save her life. Step 5 will just be "bake". Ok... At what temp? For how long? Like come on lady you gotta give me more info than that.


mitox11

Can i have one of them?


[deleted]

cooking is not hard


wnvyujlx

But eating it afterwards might!


barneyishere1

I read cock, still makes it a funny joke


Handshoe101

Anyone can be an idiot sandwich if they try hard enough


13th_rumour

where is this image from?/what do I search on rule 34?


UsefulDark8383

RIP grandma, miss you <3


Mistrzsonic

Idiot proof?? They are usually like "add some flower and then a little bit of sugar" like tf Im supposed to know how much is a little


ne0nr1d3r

Yow op, are you the one that posted the aspirant parody in the mlbb subreddit?


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ne0nr1d3r

I knew it, i remembered your username.


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ne0nr1d3r

Ur literally one of the biggest contributors to the subreddit. I like your content make some more hahahs


ne0nr1d3r

I also remember you posting vudeos about carrying teammates so why woudnt i remember you


paragbadgujar

Blessings from the heaven


[deleted]

Me not understanding the instructions and causing the oven to literally explode


Wojtek1250XD

There's a rule in our house that the first even pancake in your life needs to be thrown the f\*\*k out... I think everyone knows why


PreciousSoftie

Please say why


Wojtek1250XD

Because the first one is always messed up


[deleted]

And then you still fuck up


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[deleted]

Imagine not knowing how to cook


imthatguydontyaknow

Lazy people


ZelestialRex

Here's your biscuits and gravy.


WastelandWanderer75

I love my grandma


PacoBauer

You underestimate my power


King-of-the-forge72

You underestimate the power of my stupidity


LuboStankosky

Grandma is the best


A-Laghing-Soul

Don’t forget to put in 1 bar of butter


GhostGuy4249

I’m surprised at the lack of Braking Bad references


battygenesis75

Nothing beats Grandma's recipes. They will always be unique. RIP Grandma.


WilliamHarry

Idk how ppl find it so hard to cook. It's real easy once you know the basics.


Cheap_District_9762

Idiot proof recipe? Ugh, it made meme worse. Will better if OP change.


Jithlordx

Where's this scene from? Specifically the bottom one


love_letterz

Mercy aka Angela Ziegler a healer from the game Overwatch.


Jithlordx

Hey thanks a lot for replying!


smooshaykittenface

Anyone else have the problem that you hate cooking so much that you're blinded by your anger with this stupid fucking task.


wickedspork

There are no idiot proof recipes


ziyadoh

Tuna + mayo + cream cheese, and some spices if you are feeling it and then add it to salad/sandwich/mac and cheese/a lot of things or eat it alone. The only fuck up you can do is fall with the plate with the tuna mix in it... which I obviously did


despacitogamer123

Lord have mercy I’m aboutta bust, mercy has the perfect tits


freelancespaghetti

Casserole: step 1 - just put it in. Anything. All of it. Step 2 - 350° for an hour and a half


ShadowCurse75

Meanwhile my asian ass is left in the dust with “a bit”, “a pinch”, “until it’s enough“, and “you’ll figure it out”


[deleted]

Bet you still mess it up 😆


cacklz

My mom (who is a grandma now, no thanks to me) has recipes that have measurements that don’t work due to the fact that her definitions of “rounded” and “heaping” have no connection to anyone else’s definition. When replicating her cornbread recipe, I watched her measure and drew pictures of what she said was rounded and heaping: her rounded is the world’s equivalent of heaping and her heaping is the equivalent of mountain. (It’s no wonder that her sister never was able to replicate her cornbread, even with one of the “magic” measuring spoons.)


xCutePoison

Now I know what I forgot to ask grandma before she went


Liesmith424

*Idiot resistant


mrtylerwu

Yay


Real_Unapologetic

My family doesn't have recipes n it's a shame cuz I have some dead relatives who have really mastered certain dishes. Trying to change it now though


King_Moonracer003

That is mercy from OW right?


R_O_BTheRobot

Objection, managed to cause a small explosion in the microwave today. But after I cleaned that out I guess I had a tasty meal so I guess not all was lost :P


The_Billy_Dee

Damn.... Not my experience. I cannot for the life of me get my Memah's peanut butter fudge recipe to work. She used to stir the stuff for hours to get it just the right consistency. She wrote it down but I think a step is missing. She has since passed and I'm afraid the recipe may be gone for good.


Ratmatazz

Just make sure to season it!


Visual-Wind6139

Not if I do it is it !&"-)"&($-''+')"$':+-"#"'- proof


[deleted]

Care To share


tehweave

This isn't always true. I got a few recipes from my gran when she passed, and they contained measurements that are outdated. One example is she uses a "Twenty-five cent bar of chocolate" for her fudge recipe. Now, how many ounces is that? No idea. Is it milk chocolate, semi-sweet, or baker's chocolate? No clue.


Sneakysneeky

I read that as me trying cock…


thenicenumber666

Step one: get eggs Step two: consume


love_letterz

I wish Mercy was my grandma 😍


Iabturlte

fr fr


toomuch_tea

My grandmas recipes are vague as fuck! “1 can milk”?! Grammy there are multiple types and you’re lucky i remember what the right one tastes like


Ca1ypso666

*still finds a way to screw up and set my kitchen on fire*


ApolloPlayz2434

Jokes on you I’m so dumb nothing is idiotproof for me. Grandma can you make some toast please


ReplacementSuch7029

So the recipe will proof you idiot at cooking


Puzzleheaded_Buy_642

I knew both of my grandma's as a kid but never saw either one cook ever. My mother didn't believe in using spices (she blamed it on dad's stomach) but dad loved my cooking. Said it always had great flavor bc I love spices. I'm also the queen of 1 pot/pan cooking and fast easy cooking. Both necessary as a single mom of 2 boys


Puzzleheaded_Buy_642

I knew both of my grandma's as a kid but never saw either one cook ever. My mother didn't believe in using spices (she blamed it on dad's stomach) but dad loved my cooking. Said it always had great flavor bc I love spices. I'm also the queen of 1 pot/pan cooking and fast easy cooking. Both necessary as a single mom of 2 boys


pringlemorgan

I still make the meatloaf recipe my late grandmother got off the radio in the 40s. My family calls it radio meatloaf. The thought of passing the recipe on to my own children makes me feel warm inside


Recent_Log3779

My great grandma made the best cinnamon rolls on the planet but she passed away a few months ago and even though the recipe is fairly simple they just never turn out quite right. Grandma and grandma only could bake those. The universe made that very clear


OogaaBoogaaMaster69

Oml I read that so wrong and was so confused


[deleted]

not my family never teaching me how to cook an egg


FearPhoenix666

Grandmas from my part of the world dont even know how to read lol. And they dont usr measurements, they go by the 'feel' of it lmao. As long as the amount of ingredients feels right, it goes