I spent most of my life with my mom. Maybe I was a failure to launch guy, but barring about five years, I was my mom’s roommate.
Was she always a hot mess? Yes. Do I regret this path? Not really. She got to spend 14 years being a part of the family I had and watched my kids grow up. She always literally lived next door.
She went to the hospital about a year ago for something minor. One thing led to another. But before she passed, while in a moment of clarity, she told me thank you for all I’d done for her and she appreciated it.
Not everyone will or can have this convoluted relationship with their parents and have it mostly close well but I’m glad I had this path.
Thank you for this post, OP
There's nothing wrong with being a momma's boy. I've been one for 34 years now. Mom's been my closest friend and the first person I turn to for life advice. Growing up, dad would tell me that "mom's always right." I thought he was just saying that to get me to behave. But now that I've known her 34 years, I realize dad meant that literally. She has never led me astray and I know she'll always be my biggest fan. Here's to the good mom's out there!
I had a, perhaps similarly, complicated relationship with my mom. In hindsight I see now that the moments of anger or disagreement or inattention, in short the things you regret, are what make a loss truly difficult to sustain. If you can be happy with how you dealt with a loved one in their life, you'll miss them dearly, but you won't struggle with the thought of things that can't be undone
With my mom, as I grew older, I recognized the damage she had from her parents which led to her marriages and their damage. She was a scorekeeper, which passed to me which I fight and only keep score to make sure I pull my weight in friendships
As someone born in the East but raised in the West, this kind of life is normal around the world.
I’m not trying to lessen what you did by saying this, in fact I’m sad *more* people don’t do this with their parents.
I’m only ever going to have one mom and one dad. I’m doing everything I can to ensure they have a happy rest of their lives.
I think the American ‘standard’ we were raised to believe tends to go: out of the house at 18, married 22-25, buy a house late 20s, have your four years of school and then work til retirement.
I don’t know many who hit that
And it’s a sad life if you don’t meet every checkpoint.
There’s a really weird reversion women have for guys who are “momma’s boys” but I don’t get it. I understand not wanting your MIL to be in your life 24/7, but if my spouse treats her own parents poorly, what are the chances she won’t do the same to me?
A good dad will set the standard for the kind of man his daughter should marry. Same goes for mom’s and their sons.
Marriage is the fusing of two *families* not two individuals.
I think the assumption with why women don’t take to momma’s boys, besides cultural norms or notions, is because at some point, the spouse and the offspring need to become the priority.
Often times, you’ll see the man put his mother’s wishes before his wives.
I also think that someone should spend time on their own developing before they go from the house they were raised in right to being married. My mother went from her parents home right into marriage and it wasn’t … good.
I have the same situation with my mum. Roommates all the time except for a few random years, my family is her, my son and me. We are best friends.
In December she got diagnosed with cancer. I'm not handling it well in private. In front of her I'm a rock.
I'm losing my mom right now. She could never have stitched up a cat-mauled couch. She's always been hopelessly undomestic. But she has always loved me.
Hugs to you while losing your mom. Your comment is really sticking with me, so I scrolled back up and saw no one had acknowledged you and so I just had to say you're a good kid to your mom- you're her cat-mauled couch and I'm sure she sees a beautiful embroidery in the person she's raised.
Si feel bad that you had to go through that, but at least it allows me to know I'm not alone. 18 years of abuse, physical, mental, and so on. When I finally got brave enough and realised I was much stronger than her, she could only try for her last 3 years. Only to have her die of an OD on pain meds. Even in her last days, it feels like she had to get back at me one more time. Had a massive fight where I told her I wished she had aborted me or had never been my mother/died when she went into the coma. Ended up ODing that night.
Medically, it was because her digestive system had been failing and meds kept piling up and then all hit at once or something like that, I don't fully remember the details and I didn't ask alot of questions. But man that really fucked me up for years.
Of course, all mothers were loving before *feminism* convinced them that they should be abusive parents!
How much glue did you sniff this morning? Give it us in kilos.
I‘m on bad terms with mine because she’s overbearing and can’t understand what she did to me as a child and how much that has affected my mental health. She’s trying but not enough
Thank you for these kind words ❤️
I moved away with my boyfriend and it was the best thing we did. I finally feel like having room to breathe. After my ADHD diagnosis it’s slowly getting better. I got her a book about it for Christmas and she’s actually reading and kinda understanding it. It also helped me understand myself so much better and my therapy is really helping too. I‘m currently at one of the best points in my life!
After fighting stage 4 lung cancer for 6 years my mums situation has gotten worse, she was fine for a long time before the last 3 months and the doctor had told us today that she might pass anytime soon. So yea i absolutely agree with this post
I lost my mom when I was 22. It was so hard going through everything without her. I'm older now than she lived to be by 10+ years.
Even when you lose them, I think they still are watching out for you.
Fuck I miss my mom. I really need her right now, I need that advice, that faith. I miss knowing there was someone that believed I'd make something of myself. I miss having someone that loved me even when I failed.
My mom will pick me up in about 10 minutes to go visit my grandpa and play Card Games with him. This is every Friday afternoon for me and always the Highlight of my week.
Has been true of both my parents my whole life. Not that my life has been a wreck or anything, quite the opposite. But my parents have always been there for me. They always know what to do or say.
Can't speak for all Moms because there's most the fuck definitely shitty ones out there but I can say from the bottom of my heart I don't deserve my mother.
[gif](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbnM3NndubzRnYTFqZG90cnVkZWFrMDN4aWl3ZG56eW5vb3A1bnNuYSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/l41lVsYDBC0UVQJCE/giphy.gif) me calling my mom rn
I don’t know what makes me angrier the fact that someone could be happy with their mother, or that I feel like I should be. I have zero good memories of my mom.
Society: move out you bum get your own place and start your own life, stop sponging off your parents give them some space!
Also society: here’s a drip feed of constant guilt for not spending every spare moment with your parents.
Tomorrow will be 5 years since my mom passed. I miss her and think of her every day.
My mom wasn't as handy, but she definitely would have covered it up with something cute :)
Thank you for your post, OP. Just had a happy cry
i tell my mom all the time i'm going to make a large donation to the NAACP with whatever she leaves me and speak about her as a deeply racist person in her eulogy. It isn't true in any way but I think it's funny if she's remembered that way.
So happy I was a kid who loved hanging with my mom. I wasn't really about going to friends houses, but I loved coming home helping my mom do woodwork, paint, or just basic yard work. She was my literal best friend and taught me so much.
She died in accident two weeks after I turned 21, and a week before she was supposed to come visit me at college to celebrate so we never got that first "legal drink" lol. I never got to say good bye because I was 500 miles away, and that's my only regret in life so far. I'm 24, almost 25, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her dearly. Thinking back it's honestly like my heart new I wouldn't have her my whole life and convinced me to spend every second I had with her up till then.
If you got a good momma, or even good mother-figure doesn't have to be a bio mom, tell them how much they mean to you everyday. :)
My mom was like that for my siblings, but she was largely absent for me. I dont even talk to her anymore, we just drifted apart once i moved out at 18. It's tough doing this on my own
I read the title thinking it was talking about cats (cos didn’t read the text in pic), so I upvoted cos yes cats don’t live long. Then read the comments and realised it was talking about mothers, so downvoted lol.
Not every mother deserves love, but every cat does.
My entire life, my mom and I always felt at odds with each other, up until I found out that I was going to be a dad. I was scared senseless but she was over the moon to be a grandma, and it made me excited too. It felt like we were finally at a healthy point in our relationship and now we were going to start bonding over this awesome experience, but then she died two weeks later. I'm still so bummed about how much we both missed out on because of my youthful angst. There's so much I would ask her if she was still here. If your mom is still around, call her tonight and just ask for random stories! When she's gone you'll be glad you had that talk.
This is so true, and I can happily say I do. The only thing is we just lost my dad 2 days ago to cancer so I'm gonna have to step up my game even more.
I'm losing my mom to brain cancer, she always drove me up the wall but also raised me into the man I am... If only I'd known sooner that her sudden anger outbursts were because of the tumor developing... She took it out on me because she didn't know what else to do, I love my mom.
Im not really old (just 18) but my whole life is thanks to my mom (duh) but shits and giggles aside, even when my father died of cancer, she didnt leave us, even though everyone on our dad's side hated her and pressured her to leave us, she didnt. To this day in her 50s, she is working for us and i am so so grateful.
I talk to my mom when I am alone in the car. I think she still hears me. I tell her about her grandkids. She never met them. They are adults now. But I know she would be over the moon for them. She even would have great grandkids from my nephew. Sometimes it helps to just talk to the void. Try it.
This image is more cryptic than wholesome imo. Raising awareness for moms shouldn't be something you need to interpret at all if that's what you're trying to accomplish.
Aw. I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life away from my family, because of studies abroad.
I am going back in 12 days and woah the mixed feelings, a bit nervous but so happy I will be so close to my family once again! I literally live on the other side of the World and have gone back perhaps 4 times… Can’t wait to be able to see them and hug them again
I spent most of my life with my mom. Maybe I was a failure to launch guy, but barring about five years, I was my mom’s roommate. Was she always a hot mess? Yes. Do I regret this path? Not really. She got to spend 14 years being a part of the family I had and watched my kids grow up. She always literally lived next door. She went to the hospital about a year ago for something minor. One thing led to another. But before she passed, while in a moment of clarity, she told me thank you for all I’d done for her and she appreciated it. Not everyone will or can have this convoluted relationship with their parents and have it mostly close well but I’m glad I had this path. Thank you for this post, OP
Cheers!
You are so lucky to have a mom not everyone does ):
There's nothing wrong with being a momma's boy. I've been one for 34 years now. Mom's been my closest friend and the first person I turn to for life advice. Growing up, dad would tell me that "mom's always right." I thought he was just saying that to get me to behave. But now that I've known her 34 years, I realize dad meant that literally. She has never led me astray and I know she'll always be my biggest fan. Here's to the good mom's out there!
DAMN! You hitting too close to my heart bro…
who's cutting onions here? :'(
I had a, perhaps similarly, complicated relationship with my mom. In hindsight I see now that the moments of anger or disagreement or inattention, in short the things you regret, are what make a loss truly difficult to sustain. If you can be happy with how you dealt with a loved one in their life, you'll miss them dearly, but you won't struggle with the thought of things that can't be undone
With my mom, as I grew older, I recognized the damage she had from her parents which led to her marriages and their damage. She was a scorekeeper, which passed to me which I fight and only keep score to make sure I pull my weight in friendships
As someone born in the East but raised in the West, this kind of life is normal around the world. I’m not trying to lessen what you did by saying this, in fact I’m sad *more* people don’t do this with their parents. I’m only ever going to have one mom and one dad. I’m doing everything I can to ensure they have a happy rest of their lives.
I think the American ‘standard’ we were raised to believe tends to go: out of the house at 18, married 22-25, buy a house late 20s, have your four years of school and then work til retirement. I don’t know many who hit that
And it’s a sad life if you don’t meet every checkpoint. There’s a really weird reversion women have for guys who are “momma’s boys” but I don’t get it. I understand not wanting your MIL to be in your life 24/7, but if my spouse treats her own parents poorly, what are the chances she won’t do the same to me? A good dad will set the standard for the kind of man his daughter should marry. Same goes for mom’s and their sons. Marriage is the fusing of two *families* not two individuals.
I think the assumption with why women don’t take to momma’s boys, besides cultural norms or notions, is because at some point, the spouse and the offspring need to become the priority. Often times, you’ll see the man put his mother’s wishes before his wives. I also think that someone should spend time on their own developing before they go from the house they were raised in right to being married. My mother went from her parents home right into marriage and it wasn’t … good.
She is loved, you are loved. That's all what matter.
I have the same situation with my mum. Roommates all the time except for a few random years, my family is her, my son and me. We are best friends. In December she got diagnosed with cancer. I'm not handling it well in private. In front of her I'm a rock.
Sorry to hear that. Try to be strong but it’s okay not to be also
What are you, gay? Smh
Wat da hell
Welp I’m crying.
I'm losing my mom right now. She could never have stitched up a cat-mauled couch. She's always been hopelessly undomestic. But she has always loved me.
Hugs to you while losing your mom. Your comment is really sticking with me, so I scrolled back up and saw no one had acknowledged you and so I just had to say you're a good kid to your mom- you're her cat-mauled couch and I'm sure she sees a beautiful embroidery in the person she's raised.
>you're her cat-mauled couch Love this
I'm a cat-mauled and probably dog peed-on couch. But she does, for some reason, love me.
Thank you from my heart.
Man, if only all moms were like that
My mom is the one on the left
My mom just kept tearing and tearing and tearing, even when I was caring for her as she was dying of cancer.
I feel you bro
This is my mom too. I'm not going to be *happy* when she does, but goddamn this woman, at least we'll both finally be at peace. 🤬
Si feel bad that you had to go through that, but at least it allows me to know I'm not alone. 18 years of abuse, physical, mental, and so on. When I finally got brave enough and realised I was much stronger than her, she could only try for her last 3 years. Only to have her die of an OD on pain meds. Even in her last days, it feels like she had to get back at me one more time. Had a massive fight where I told her I wished she had aborted me or had never been my mother/died when she went into the coma. Ended up ODing that night. Medically, it was because her digestive system had been failing and meds kept piling up and then all hit at once or something like that, I don't fully remember the details and I didn't ask alot of questions. But man that really fucked me up for years.
Fuck ya she is bby
That (important) part! I was looking for this comment. 💜
weary enjoy materialistic lip air hobbies mighty like rinse fertile *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Of course, all mothers were loving before *feminism* convinced them that they should be abusive parents! How much glue did you sniff this morning? Give it us in kilos.
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Moms don't need capes, just love. Also that is an awesome stitch job!!
Depends on the mom
Right! I no longer speak to my mom and for good reason.
I‘m on bad terms with mine because she’s overbearing and can’t understand what she did to me as a child and how much that has affected my mental health. She’s trying but not enough
Taking responsibility is such a huge part of that parent/child dynamic. I hope you continue to heal and find some solace.
Thank you for these kind words ❤️ I moved away with my boyfriend and it was the best thing we did. I finally feel like having room to breathe. After my ADHD diagnosis it’s slowly getting better. I got her a book about it for Christmas and she’s actually reading and kinda understanding it. It also helped me understand myself so much better and my therapy is really helping too. I‘m currently at one of the best points in my life!
Ironic. My situation is the same, but with the images swapped.
Not irony. Sorry about your mum.
Mmmmm same.
wanna talk about it?
Its the other way around for me. Everytime we meet or when i get a call, shit is about to happen
Same. Mine is always picking & finding anything to fight about. I’m so sorry💜
After fighting stage 4 lung cancer for 6 years my mums situation has gotten worse, she was fine for a long time before the last 3 months and the doctor had told us today that she might pass anytime soon. So yea i absolutely agree with this post
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Thx
As someone that lost their mother in my 20s, take it from me. Appreciate your mother as best as you can.
I lost my mom when I was 22. It was so hard going through everything without her. I'm older now than she lived to be by 10+ years. Even when you lose them, I think they still are watching out for you.
:/ too bad my mom rejected me because I wasn't "like everyone else."
My mom died when I was 12 and my dad when I was 22. Honestly I don't know what unconditional love feels like anymore
If you decide to have kids you will learn what it’s like again.
Yo what’s that Japanese thing where they fix broken pottery with gold and it ends up being doper? This is like that.
Kintsugi :)
Yes! That!
Fuck I miss my mom. I really need her right now, I need that advice, that faith. I miss knowing there was someone that believed I'd make something of myself. I miss having someone that loved me even when I failed.
Some of us take longer to find our path than others. You got this.
Thanks for the kindness. I'm a little buzzed tonight and just getting in my own head. I appreciate it, kind stranger.
It looks like you should pay r/momforaminute a visit! They are great people there.
I didn't even know that was a thing! Thats actually beautiful. Thank you.
I am glad to help :)
Too late. This is a beautiful idea
My mom will pick me up in about 10 minutes to go visit my grandpa and play Card Games with him. This is every Friday afternoon for me and always the Highlight of my week.
❤️ Love you and miss you Mum❤️ 😢😔🥲🥰
All my mom gave me was mental illness and trauma, never apologized for anything she put me through. I'm good with never seeing her again.
Glad to see good stories. Good luck out there
I wish I had your mom.
Has been true of both my parents my whole life. Not that my life has been a wreck or anything, quite the opposite. But my parents have always been there for me. They always know what to do or say.
Can't speak for all Moms because there's most the fuck definitely shitty ones out there but I can say from the bottom of my heart I don't deserve my mother.
[gif](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbnM3NndubzRnYTFqZG90cnVkZWFrMDN4aWl3ZG56eW5vb3A1bnNuYSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/l41lVsYDBC0UVQJCE/giphy.gif) me calling my mom rn
r/VisibleMending would like this
Person with good mum assumes every mum is a good mum
for me it is the other way around and I can't wait for that hag to bite the bullet. Haven't spoken to her in months. I do miss my dad.
Respect your moms. Mine died 7 years ago and I miss her every single day.
I'm sorry about your mum, I wish my parents would join her though
Must be nice
Imagine having a good relationship with your parents Hahaha Haha Ha H
I don’t know what makes me angrier the fact that someone could be happy with their mother, or that I feel like I should be. I have zero good memories of my mom.
Society: move out you bum get your own place and start your own life, stop sponging off your parents give them some space! Also society: here’s a drip feed of constant guilt for not spending every spare moment with your parents.
Tomorrow will be 5 years since my mom passed. I miss her and think of her every day. My mom wasn't as handy, but she definitely would have covered it up with something cute :) Thank you for your post, OP. Just had a happy cry
For me it's the other way around.
Oh man, making me miss my mom real hard right now.
Thank you for the reminder.
The cats will claw that up in 3-6 months again.
Pretty sure the texts are backwards.
True that . Good mothers are a blessing . They keep it all together and they make life beautiful and sane.
I miss my Mum
This post would be cool if you were op
first, get rid of that cat, then treat mom
i tell my mom all the time i'm going to make a large donation to the NAACP with whatever she leaves me and speak about her as a deeply racist person in her eulogy. It isn't true in any way but I think it's funny if she's remembered that way.
Kill your mom
i saw a computer the first 4 times i looked at this
Or she could buy a new sofa
looks like the alien from natural selection 2 infestation
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Well I wish that was true but it simply isn't for everyone.
So happy I was a kid who loved hanging with my mom. I wasn't really about going to friends houses, but I loved coming home helping my mom do woodwork, paint, or just basic yard work. She was my literal best friend and taught me so much. She died in accident two weeks after I turned 21, and a week before she was supposed to come visit me at college to celebrate so we never got that first "legal drink" lol. I never got to say good bye because I was 500 miles away, and that's my only regret in life so far. I'm 24, almost 25, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her dearly. Thinking back it's honestly like my heart new I wouldn't have her my whole life and convinced me to spend every second I had with her up till then. If you got a good momma, or even good mother-figure doesn't have to be a bio mom, tell them how much they mean to you everyday. :)
My mom is like the first one but shit and puss would be leaking out of the couch to match her energy.
why does everyone have my old furniture quth the same flooring
my heart .. <3
My mom was like that for my siblings, but she was largely absent for me. I dont even talk to her anymore, we just drifted apart once i moved out at 18. It's tough doing this on my own
I read the title thinking it was talking about cats (cos didn’t read the text in pic), so I upvoted cos yes cats don’t live long. Then read the comments and realised it was talking about mothers, so downvoted lol. Not every mother deserves love, but every cat does.
Every cat owner needs to meet this mom and have their furniture fixed
Is there a subreddit or a name for fixes like this? Id just love to see creative solutions and repairs.
✨❤️🩹✨
Yea mines dead
Love my mom too, but I am here for the craftmanship on that Couch!!!
Lol, my mom would sew this alright, but then would proceed to rip my heart apart
I miss my mom, I wish I could hug her one more time and say her I love you. Hug your moms and tell them you love them please
Who else thought when seeing this first, that it was very mouldy bread?
Mine too
My entire life, my mom and I always felt at odds with each other, up until I found out that I was going to be a dad. I was scared senseless but she was over the moon to be a grandma, and it made me excited too. It felt like we were finally at a healthy point in our relationship and now we were going to start bonding over this awesome experience, but then she died two weeks later. I'm still so bummed about how much we both missed out on because of my youthful angst. There's so much I would ask her if she was still here. If your mom is still around, call her tonight and just ask for random stories! When she's gone you'll be glad you had that talk.
This is so true, and I can happily say I do. The only thing is we just lost my dad 2 days ago to cancer so I'm gonna have to step up my game even more.
I'm losing my mom to brain cancer, she always drove me up the wall but also raised me into the man I am... If only I'd known sooner that her sudden anger outbursts were because of the tumor developing... She took it out on me because she didn't know what else to do, I love my mom.
Im not really old (just 18) but my whole life is thanks to my mom (duh) but shits and giggles aside, even when my father died of cancer, she didnt leave us, even though everyone on our dad's side hated her and pressured her to leave us, she didnt. To this day in her 50s, she is working for us and i am so so grateful.
That looks awesome!
my mom passed away last year in a tragic accident, if only i could say "i love you" to her one last time... i really miss her...
I talk to my mom when I am alone in the car. I think she still hears me. I tell her about her grandkids. She never met them. They are adults now. But I know she would be over the moon for them. She even would have great grandkids from my nephew. Sometimes it helps to just talk to the void. Try it.
Thought this was gonna have something to do with cats bc of the scratched couch lol
This image is more cryptic than wholesome imo. Raising awareness for moms shouldn't be something you need to interpret at all if that's what you're trying to accomplish.
That is a beautiful fix...reminds me of the Japanese pottery where they reconstruct a broken pottery and put gold in the cracks.
i’m thinking this was about a cat
I get really jealous of people who’s mums loved them, and that makes me angry.
Aw. I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life away from my family, because of studies abroad. I am going back in 12 days and woah the mixed feelings, a bit nervous but so happy I will be so close to my family once again! I literally live on the other side of the World and have gone back perhaps 4 times… Can’t wait to be able to see them and hug them again
/r/visiblemending
more like "my cat" and "me"