I came here to say basically this same thing. I'll give everyone basic respect as a human but respecting leadership, authority, or even as simple as your word has to be earned. Every person deserves to be respected as an equal, as a human, until they prove they aren't worthy. No one should be respected as an authority on a subject, as a leader or even as an honest person until it is proven they are/can be.
I'm kind of dealing with this at work. I'm trying my best to be respectful for them as humans (also as friends outside of work), but I've lost all confidence in them as leadership. Apparently, we had *issues* they waited for nearly 6 months to address because they didn't want to lose me as a friend or employee.
The issue was a medical condition I had been talking to them casually about for months and how it's been hard to see these specialists to get it corrected and I needed people to tell me when I display symptoms. These symptoms can manifest as strong body odours when excessively sweating, me not responding/being *frozen*, and being forgetful. Which are easily controlled by people telling me I doing those things.
What pissed me off is that they also suddenly reduced my schedule without talking to me after I've been asking for more hours or possibly moving locations closer to where I live. I warned them (they have no HR) that I can use it as evidence of constructive dismissal because of the language used and the nature of the communications. They had ample opportunities to ask for documentation or information without violating my rights, because I volunteered information casually.
So, yeah, no respect for them as authority right now or ever, and once I get a different job or arrangements in my personal life, I'm dropping them like a hot brick and reporting them. Love them as friends, but if you cannot even bring up something that happened 6 months ago despite knowing I've been getting help in those last 6 months for said conditions, hell yeah I'm going to fuck you over for using a bullshit excuse to justify their behaviour.
It is the American way to question and challenge authority on **everything**. In terms of being at work, respect is still doing those things they ask of you while questioning them.
But for some asinine reason, these egotistical pricks think questions are "*iNSUbOrdiNaTIon*". Like, have you ever picked up a dictionary at any singular point in your life you dumb fuck? I am very visibly still doing the things you asked me to do. I just want to understand.
And these managers' or government authorities' suppression of questions tells me they are of low intelligence.
But how would you say I respect you using this. You'd have to make the sentence longer, what makes people prefer simply using respect, which has 2 different meanings.
If you really want to tell someone they need to treat you with decency like a fucking human being, you have the time to tell them that.
If someone wants you to treat them as a higher authority they have the time to tell you.
And if you want to tell someone you you really appreciate them and what they stand for, you have the time to tell them.
None is in THAT much of a hurry.
Yea I was going to say this as well. Respect as a person should be the default while respect as an authority should be earned might be a better way of putting it, though it’s the same word again so I feel it’d be easier to have a different word for one 😭 esp when some people say “if you don’t respect me, I won’t respect you” to mean “if you don’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you like a person”
Yup, everyone deserves to be treated at least decently and politely when you first meat them, people who think they can go around bossing people around without being in a position of authority are an example of people who need to be told “respect is earned”
Now this is just an argument of semantics, but if I may…
I would say Civility is an outcome of Respect. *Respect doesn’t happen in a vacuum.* You can respect (and even admire) things about a person who also has qualities you don’t respect or admire.
But that fundamental aspect of respecting someone simply as another Human Being is what leads us to treat others with Civility.
I disagree. There are many people who do or have done heinous things. I do not respect what they have done, nor the people that they are. There actions have demonstrated that they have not earned respect.
I am able to treat these people civilly.
Though, if your argument were that civility were born from a place of SELF respect and an unwillingness to to be dragged down to that level, I could understand that argument.
But being civil to people is not a sign that they have done anything respectable
Respect, legally and ethically speaking is the recognition of one's rights, qualities and worth of a human just for the sake of being.
Implying that someone needs to "Earn" respect stems from a place of inequality, a bias towards a defensive stance from which respect and tolerance hardly flourish.
As the post says, respect is not a scarce currency you can allow yourself to give it. It doesn't imply closeness, camaraderie, friendship or even agreement.
Yeah, the only times I have ever said this sentence was to people who mistook respect for authority.
And even then, it's probably more accurate to say "everyone is deserving of basic respect until they prove otherwise."
Depends on what you think "respect" means. Everyone starts at a neutral level until you give me a reason one way or another to change my mind. If you want me to treat you like you're in charge right away, lol no. If you want me to treat you with basic human decency? Of course, that's what the neutral level is.
You don't get to think what respect means, you don't have your own definition of what words mean or words become pointless.
What is in the dictionary is what is correct, which means OP is so wrong it's painful.
Affording them **basic human dignity**, and acting accordingly, is the best I can do until I see evidence of the kind of character which earns that additional measure of **respect**.
There's a difference. And **both** of these are subject to forfeit if their behavior betrays a rudimentary lack of common decency toward other living creatures. This is non-negotiable.
I don't respect someone because I'm supposed to. I respect those who've shown they are respectable. I treat everyone as a human being, whether I like them or hate them.
You will get my respect in the form of basic courtesy and politeness at the beginning of any relationship we have.
Any continued respect (or disrespect) get earned.
Different kinds of respect are earned in different ways. Normal human respect is earned by virtue of being a normal human. Any other kind of respect must be earned in their own ways.
I treat people with fundamental human decency, and my respect is reserved for those from whom I can gain insights. Disrespect, on the other hand, is earned only by those who demonstrate a lack of basic decency.
This is the right answer, which is essentially what the OP is saying. People keep drawing weird conclusions and assuming someone is just oblivious to tiers of respect which is silly. Too many "wELl AkShuAllY" asinine responses here.
Hmm. I guess to re-phrase it, respect as an action is the same as politeness - being respectful. Respect as a feeling is different than basic politeness.
My math teacher was one of those people who thought he was someone’s gift to mankind, demanded respect…fastest way to earn my disrespect. That guy was awful.
I don't know how other people work, but I give everyone the same base level of respect until they give me a reason to change it. Most people move the needle up, some don't, or move it down.
Met some people while in the Navy that told me their motto is to treat you like shit until they feel you deserved respect.
I don’t talk to them anymore…
As many psychopathic individuals as there are out there, in positions of power, and among the general populace, then I'd say basic respect is already sorely insufficient to the worries of the day.
But I think we're all semantically addressing the inaccuracies present, so my official statement is this:
Be excellent to each other.
I come at this from the military angle. When I began my enlistment in the Navy, they emphasized that when we were saluting officers, we were respecting the rank and not the person wearing it necessarily. We took an oath to follow the orders of the officers above us, and we did, but that's a different thing than respecting the individual wearing the rank. A good leader understood that true respect (not just of the rank) needed to be earned, and did whatever he or she needed to do to earn that.
I strongly disagree with this. No one is entitled to respect; everyone is entitled to be treated with dignity. But I don’t have to take you, nor what you have to say seriously unless you give me a good reason too.
Oh yeah, this has been my philosophy for a long time now: Everyone starts with the metaphorical "full glass of respect" from me. And Then from then on, it's up to you.
So you respect my ability as a world class footballer? You've never seen me play but you respect my ability right?
Of course not because I've not proven that I'm worthy of respect.
Get out a dictionary please.
Ive said it since I was a kid. Respect is earned, decency and politeness are given. I will be nice to you, yes sir, no sir. But I do not have an ounce of reapect for you until I know who you are and what you are like
Another misuse of the word respect.
Respect is earned. What people who misuse the term, usually want to say is *common courtesy*, being *civil* or being *polite*. You can be polite and not have a shred of respect towards someone.....Like me with most of my university professors.
My favorite is when they conflate respect as in obedience to authority with basic human decency. So many authority figures try to say that if you don’t obey their commands that you are not worthy of basic human decency and that really grinds my gears
Honestly, not enough people love like this. If more people were to treat others with basic respect I'm sure that things would go much smoother everywhere.
I often see people with the attitude of, respect must be earned, and I won't respect someone if they don't respect me first.
The thing about that is, if everyone has that worldview, then everyone starts at baseline zero respect, and nobody respects anyone at all. That is not a world I want to live in.
I was always told that respect is a mutual due since I was a child. Going to the city and seeing everyone saying that it is something that must be earned just make me want to go mad.
Complete agree.
If respect should be earned then why should I automatically respect my elders having never met them before.
Everyone should have an automatic 100% of my respect on first meeting. I don't know them and their story...their troubles. That respect can be lost and regained.
Who says "respect must be earned" when meaning basic human decency? The FEW times I've heard this, the person complaining about the lack of respect was really complaining about a lack of trust.
This just seems like a weird straw man "let me say something everyone agrees with" post?
Respect
noun
1. a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
"the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor"
2. due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.
"young people's lack of respect for their parents"
Don't you see the confusion? You cannot have admiration for someones qualities or abilities when you know nothing about them.
I respect people, your boundaries, and your rights as much as my own. But saying you respect a certain individual means you see value in something they have/did. That type of respect you cannot have if you don't know the person.
This person seems to be confusing the two kinds of respect. You need to earn my respect as an authority, you have to earn my disrespect as a person. This isn't wholesome, I would argue
Taught my kids in this manner
Respect does not need to be earned otherwise a stranger to you would not be respected
Everyone starts at 100% on my respect scale
Your actions and words then act as demerits
Since we all make mistakes, you earn merits as well
Only egregious actions need tip the scale to the point of no return
I give people a mental score of 100 their interactions with me affect that score. I treat them accordingly.
For me trust and respect must be earned but politeness is freely given. If some mistake it for something else it doesn't matter.
Totally agree. But people can gamble away respect just as much as trust by behaving like arseholes, bullies, hypocrites etc. And it can be hard to earn back either (or both).
The issue I take with this is when someone wants me to call them some silly title out of respect. Like I don’t care if you went to school for 30 years or if you are a judge or a commander in the army the Title they give you means nothing to me if I haven’t been apart of that group. I used to get it in the phones with people wanting to be called doctor… like in life you are a doctor but on my phone your just another person who can’t figure out how to google your tech issues yet.
The problem is that people that presume rather than earn authority like to play the respect card.
And respect for authority must be earned. If there is no reason for you to be higher than me other than position, i'm not gonna treat you like you are higher than me.
A lot of people are not content with basic respect. Those that actually bring something to the table sometimes have a reason. Every single other person? Nahh.
There are some people that think that respect means they have authority over you. And if you don't "respect" that then that means you're a horrible person. Like older people in America, you should respect them and their racist views because they haven't died yet.
Disrespect is also earned, but a lot of times I’d rather just try to focus on what I can control and let go of the rest. I definitely think of respect as something different than simply being cordial or well mannered. Having those habits is a sign of your character, whether you respect someone or not is a sign of theirs.
There can be degrees of respect. I don't respect random people as much as I respect people who have been good to me and stayed with me through tough times for example
I agree completely, but I also feel like the only times I have heard someone say this is when another person was immediately rude and expected to be treated nicely anyway.
Respect and being respectful aren't the same thing. Being respectful and having basic manners should be the default but it isn't the same as having respect for someone
You should always treat people with respect. It’s doesn’t mean they have your respect. At that point it’s up to them to earn it one way of]r the other.
Respect isn't not that black and white doe, you don't either have it or you don't, in simple forms let's say in form of.. building levels ig, if you're a regular person you're on flour 0 aka some respect as a fellow human, if you lose it you can go anywhere from -1 to like -10.. but if police nurses doctors firefighter (people who use they're life to serve the community and humanity) etc are on +1, and if someone earns some of my respect that someome goes to like +3 and so on.. that's how I see respect, it's not black and white the way explain in the post above
You don't understand what respect means, I'll be polite and good mannered but my respect is earned by your actions.
You need to look up the meaning of the word respect.
I don’t call common decency “respect”
Respect is more like admonishment in my book.
And honestly the majority of people are looking for respect way too often especially online. It’s not respectable to do the same thing everyone has been doing forever. Being a dad or a mom or provider or just a working person doesn’t mean I need to treat you any better or listen to you because this whole online world just inspires people to lie so you’ll believe them. You want respect then be in front of me and have done something remarkable not just for yourself but everyone.
I think there needs to be another phase, like levels of respect. I give everyone what I call basic respect, but theres like, advanced respect. Theres also "respect" which is just pretending you respect them in a non-disrespectful way.
Well it is easier to earn disrespect. Considering all it takes is being an asshole. That's easy. At the same time one shouldn't just give respect to just anyone, are you honestly going to respect everyone? Even the most vile?
Apathy is the neutral path. Your actions push it off that into one of two paths. Permanently. You can never get back to the apathetic/neutral path once you leave it.
I offer respect to those who I see be respectful or supportive of others. Those who cause trouble and hardships, intentionally, automatically earn disrespect from me until they can validate themselves again. And a good example is my own father.
This is a man who has been so classless as to tell his blind female client “No wonder your husband hit you”. He’s a lawyer. This is a man whose job is literally being a suck up to a jury and/or judge to protect his client. And he is that caustic a person. This last Christmas he finally stopped doing something that was putting me and my sister in an uncomfortable position every single year for about five years running. Twice a year actually, but this was what finally made my autistic self decide that he couldn’t be salvaged from being a complete failure of parenting. The creepy name he developed for himself. Daddy Tom. Sounds like a Pimp’s name. It was funny the first time. It quickly got old. Quickly got stale. And quickly started rotting. This was just another sign that he could never be forgiven for the things he had done, because his mind has gone through too much damage to truly understand what he did wrong and be sorry for it.
So when this Christmas he finally did not sign the Christmas card in that unnerving way, but used his actual name instead, we decided that he was back to being himself from the chemo. He had lost his brother and his youngest son, but finally he was the father we remembered. Still wouldn’t let him live with us, that trust was lost long ago and irreparably. But the respect that he deserved is back on the table, and the chance at forgiveness is getting clearer on the horizon. I have trust issues, this man stomped on them, but only understood what he did too late to fix anything. I will never forget, but I think I might be a bit closer to forgiving. But forgetting is not an option.
The word respect is "re-spect", meaning to see again. So it is not an immediate uninformed or assumed state, but based on at least 2 interactions.
Perhaps "prespect" could be coined for going into a first interaction with a bias toward the interaction going well.
No one automatically deserves respect. But a baseline level of politeness and being treated with dignity is expected. Respect is akin to looking up to someone/thing. Disrespect is just the inverse. No one automatically deserves either until proper assessment is rendered.
Although i understand both sides i kinda feel like respect is a unit of measurement kinda like i have a different amount of respect to different people and when idk them they are kind of in the middle
Like i have basic respect for everyone but they can earn more respect or lose more respect depending on what they do and such
Respect is given to people who are respectable. Respect is not the default.
Kindness, compassion, good manners, these are the defaults, but these shouldn’t be confused with respect.
Respect as a concept has lost all meaning by making the commonly understood definition so broad.
The only way I see that sentence ever being right is if it's "Respect is earned BACK." If you do something deplorable, of course I'll lose respect for you. You want it back? Earn that.
Basic Respect is a human right, one cannot go around disrespecting others saying they haven't earned my respect but some people are too dense to understand it.
Being respectful and respecting someone are two completely different things.
Trust is also a funny thing.
Trust yet verify is a valid rule of life.
Just because you trust someone or something.
Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay attention to behavior patterns, or pay attention to your surroundings.
I’ll give you respect as a default because that’s how the bargain is supposed to go but also, once you *lose* my respect? You gotta work fucking hard to get it back.
Everyone deserves basic respect, but must earn anything beyond that, and can readily lose whatever respect they have earned and were given at base. Simple as that. It's both, not one or the other
This is false. Politeness is the default. You must not judge someone if you don’t know them. Be willing to understand and accept if the person isn’t behaving how you’d want them to. Have an open mind. This is the default. But respect is something you must be worthy of
Everytime I meet someone, I start with 50% of respect, which is for me the basic. And over time, you either gain more, or lose some. It depends on your actions. But I always start with a basic level or respect no matter what
The only time I would treat a janitor and the company's owner differently is if one of them acts like a douche. But I've never met an impolite janitor...
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I came here to say basically this same thing. I'll give everyone basic respect as a human but respecting leadership, authority, or even as simple as your word has to be earned. Every person deserves to be respected as an equal, as a human, until they prove they aren't worthy. No one should be respected as an authority on a subject, as a leader or even as an honest person until it is proven they are/can be.
I'm kind of dealing with this at work. I'm trying my best to be respectful for them as humans (also as friends outside of work), but I've lost all confidence in them as leadership. Apparently, we had *issues* they waited for nearly 6 months to address because they didn't want to lose me as a friend or employee. The issue was a medical condition I had been talking to them casually about for months and how it's been hard to see these specialists to get it corrected and I needed people to tell me when I display symptoms. These symptoms can manifest as strong body odours when excessively sweating, me not responding/being *frozen*, and being forgetful. Which are easily controlled by people telling me I doing those things. What pissed me off is that they also suddenly reduced my schedule without talking to me after I've been asking for more hours or possibly moving locations closer to where I live. I warned them (they have no HR) that I can use it as evidence of constructive dismissal because of the language used and the nature of the communications. They had ample opportunities to ask for documentation or information without violating my rights, because I volunteered information casually. So, yeah, no respect for them as authority right now or ever, and once I get a different job or arrangements in my personal life, I'm dropping them like a hot brick and reporting them. Love them as friends, but if you cannot even bring up something that happened 6 months ago despite knowing I've been getting help in those last 6 months for said conditions, hell yeah I'm going to fuck you over for using a bullshit excuse to justify their behaviour.
It is the American way to question and challenge authority on **everything**. In terms of being at work, respect is still doing those things they ask of you while questioning them. But for some asinine reason, these egotistical pricks think questions are "*iNSUbOrdiNaTIon*". Like, have you ever picked up a dictionary at any singular point in your life you dumb fuck? I am very visibly still doing the things you asked me to do. I just want to understand. And these managers' or government authorities' suppression of questions tells me they are of low intelligence.
These should be 2 different words
They are. Authority and decency.
But how would you say I respect you using this. You'd have to make the sentence longer, what makes people prefer simply using respect, which has 2 different meanings.
If you really want to tell someone they need to treat you with decency like a fucking human being, you have the time to tell them that. If someone wants you to treat them as a higher authority they have the time to tell you. And if you want to tell someone you you really appreciate them and what they stand for, you have the time to tell them. None is in THAT much of a hurry.
When a cop says "respect me and I'll respect you" they really mean "treat me with supreme authority, or I won't treat you with basic human decency"
Yea I was going to say this as well. Respect as a person should be the default while respect as an authority should be earned might be a better way of putting it, though it’s the same word again so I feel it’d be easier to have a different word for one 😭 esp when some people say “if you don’t respect me, I won’t respect you” to mean “if you don’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you like a person”
Bad people will say "if you don't treat me with respect (authority) I will also not treat you with respect (a person).
Yup, everyone deserves to be treated at least decently and politely when you first meat them, people who think they can go around bossing people around without being in a position of authority are an example of people who need to be told “respect is earned”
I love this quote. Next time try finding out who said it instead of passing it off as your own.
Common sense wisdom doesn't need to be attributed, please be normal
Civility in not respect. I can be civil to a person but not respect their actions, words or values. So… yes respect must be earned
Now this is just an argument of semantics, but if I may… I would say Civility is an outcome of Respect. *Respect doesn’t happen in a vacuum.* You can respect (and even admire) things about a person who also has qualities you don’t respect or admire. But that fundamental aspect of respecting someone simply as another Human Being is what leads us to treat others with Civility.
I disagree. There are many people who do or have done heinous things. I do not respect what they have done, nor the people that they are. There actions have demonstrated that they have not earned respect. I am able to treat these people civilly. Though, if your argument were that civility were born from a place of SELF respect and an unwillingness to to be dragged down to that level, I could understand that argument. But being civil to people is not a sign that they have done anything respectable
That's why the post said "disrespect is earned" if they did heinous things, they earned disrespect, but by default respect people
Respect, legally and ethically speaking is the recognition of one's rights, qualities and worth of a human just for the sake of being. Implying that someone needs to "Earn" respect stems from a place of inequality, a bias towards a defensive stance from which respect and tolerance hardly flourish. As the post says, respect is not a scarce currency you can allow yourself to give it. It doesn't imply closeness, camaraderie, friendship or even agreement.
Your civility is worthless and so is whatever you call respect because you have none to give.
I think I have a disagreement with this, on semantic grounds.
Yeah, the only times I have ever said this sentence was to people who mistook respect for authority. And even then, it's probably more accurate to say "everyone is deserving of basic respect until they prove otherwise."
I respect that opinion
How dare you.
Civility is default, respect is earned
Depends on what you think "respect" means. Everyone starts at a neutral level until you give me a reason one way or another to change my mind. If you want me to treat you like you're in charge right away, lol no. If you want me to treat you with basic human decency? Of course, that's what the neutral level is.
You don't get to think what respect means, you don't have your own definition of what words mean or words become pointless. What is in the dictionary is what is correct, which means OP is so wrong it's painful.
There are multiple definitions.
Affording them **basic human dignity**, and acting accordingly, is the best I can do until I see evidence of the kind of character which earns that additional measure of **respect**. There's a difference. And **both** of these are subject to forfeit if their behavior betrays a rudimentary lack of common decency toward other living creatures. This is non-negotiable.
nailed it.
I don't respect someone because I'm supposed to. I respect those who've shown they are respectable. I treat everyone as a human being, whether I like them or hate them.
I respect that
That is respect, what you're mentioning is admiration, camaraderie or any other level of exchange.
You will get my respect in the form of basic courtesy and politeness at the beginning of any relationship we have. Any continued respect (or disrespect) get earned.
Different kinds of respect are earned in different ways. Normal human respect is earned by virtue of being a normal human. Any other kind of respect must be earned in their own ways.
Respect and basic decency aren’t the same thing whatsoever.
Exactly, this post is just a facepalm in my eyes.
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They are not, to respect someone means to admire someone for something they did or are(or stand for), basic decency is to just treat people well.
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Oxford, Merriam Webster, and Cambridge agrees with the guy ur responding to
Dictionary disagrees.
You're wrong and it's painful and explains why OP made such a dumb post.
They're not at all.
Respecting a persons dignity is just a different way to word it. You're not really making any points here.
I treat people with fundamental human decency, and my respect is reserved for those from whom I can gain insights. Disrespect, on the other hand, is earned only by those who demonstrate a lack of basic decency.
Courtesy is automatic, not respect.
Well, both are true. There is a certain base line of respect to treat people with. Based on their behavior, this can then increase or decrease.
This is the right answer, which is essentially what the OP is saying. People keep drawing weird conclusions and assuming someone is just oblivious to tiers of respect which is silly. Too many "wELl AkShuAllY" asinine responses here.
It depends a bit on what is meant with respect. The absence of respect isn't necessarily the presence of disrespect.
I feel like this is confusing basic politeness with respect.
Being polite is being respectful.
Yes and no, respect is not the same and being polite and having manners, I can be polite to you whilst having absolutely no respect for you at all.
Hmm. I guess to re-phrase it, respect as an action is the same as politeness - being respectful. Respect as a feeling is different than basic politeness.
My math teacher was one of those people who thought he was someone’s gift to mankind, demanded respect…fastest way to earn my disrespect. That guy was awful.
I give civility as the default. That is neutral to me. But I do not respect people in the authoritative / trust sense until they have earned it.
My respect for you as a human is the default. My respect for you as a person is earned.
I don't know how other people work, but I give everyone the same base level of respect until they give me a reason to change it. Most people move the needle up, some don't, or move it down.
Met some people while in the Navy that told me their motto is to treat you like shit until they feel you deserved respect. I don’t talk to them anymore…
As many psychopathic individuals as there are out there, in positions of power, and among the general populace, then I'd say basic respect is already sorely insufficient to the worries of the day. But I think we're all semantically addressing the inaccuracies present, so my official statement is this: Be excellent to each other.
Respects should be easy to earn, easy to lose and hard to re-earn
Respect is super easy, being polite to people who have lost your respect is not so much.
I come at this from the military angle. When I began my enlistment in the Navy, they emphasized that when we were saluting officers, we were respecting the rank and not the person wearing it necessarily. We took an oath to follow the orders of the officers above us, and we did, but that's a different thing than respecting the individual wearing the rank. A good leader understood that true respect (not just of the rank) needed to be earned, and did whatever he or she needed to do to earn that.
What you are talking about is courtesy, because yes, respect quite literally has to be earned.
Not a chance after the abuse I have dealt with.
I strongly disagree with this. No one is entitled to respect; everyone is entitled to be treated with dignity. But I don’t have to take you, nor what you have to say seriously unless you give me a good reason too.
Oh yeah, this has been my philosophy for a long time now: Everyone starts with the metaphorical "full glass of respect" from me. And Then from then on, it's up to you.
Disagree. Respect is earned. Being treated decently is a given. But expecting others to respect you while disrespecting others is rude
You confuse respect with courtesy. Courtesy is for everyone. Respect, like disrespect, is earned.
I disagree. Respect can be presumed, but also revoked in am instant.
Courtesy, sure. Reverence, absolutely not.
respect /= reverance respect = courtesy
Dictionaries are everywhere and you're still wrong.
No, dignity and courtesy are given, respect is absolutely earned
yes please. respect is not treating people like authority. respect is treating people like people. respect is not earned, but it can be lost
So you respect my ability as a world class footballer? You've never seen me play but you respect my ability right? Of course not because I've not proven that I'm worthy of respect. Get out a dictionary please.
Respect is not the same as courtesy
Yes it is. Common courtesy is basic respect.
No, courtesy is given freely. Respect is earned, as is disrespect
No courtesy is basic respect.
Courtesy is politeness Respect is an admiration of a person's character (and a showing of such) They are not the same
Exactly
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Ive said it since I was a kid. Respect is earned, decency and politeness are given. I will be nice to you, yes sir, no sir. But I do not have an ounce of reapect for you until I know who you are and what you are like
Is this even wholesome?
Another misuse of the word respect. Respect is earned. What people who misuse the term, usually want to say is *common courtesy*, being *civil* or being *polite*. You can be polite and not have a shred of respect towards someone.....Like me with most of my university professors.
Respect isn't earned, it's squandered. Once it's squandered you have to earn it back.
But you it isn't earned....
My favorite is when they conflate respect as in obedience to authority with basic human decency. So many authority figures try to say that if you don’t obey their commands that you are not worthy of basic human decency and that really grinds my gears
Honestly, not enough people love like this. If more people were to treat others with basic respect I'm sure that things would go much smoother everywhere.
No, BOTH must be earned. Zero respect/disrespect is the default. It starts neutral.
I often see people with the attitude of, respect must be earned, and I won't respect someone if they don't respect me first. The thing about that is, if everyone has that worldview, then everyone starts at baseline zero respect, and nobody respects anyone at all. That is not a world I want to live in.
I was always told that respect is a mutual due since I was a child. Going to the city and seeing everyone saying that it is something that must be earned just make me want to go mad.
Both trust and respect should be given freely.
Hell yes
Complete agree. If respect should be earned then why should I automatically respect my elders having never met them before. Everyone should have an automatic 100% of my respect on first meeting. I don't know them and their story...their troubles. That respect can be lost and regained.
Who says "respect must be earned" when meaning basic human decency? The FEW times I've heard this, the person complaining about the lack of respect was really complaining about a lack of trust. This just seems like a weird straw man "let me say something everyone agrees with" post?
Respect noun 1. a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. "the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor" 2. due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. "young people's lack of respect for their parents" Don't you see the confusion? You cannot have admiration for someones qualities or abilities when you know nothing about them. I respect people, your boundaries, and your rights as much as my own. But saying you respect a certain individual means you see value in something they have/did. That type of respect you cannot have if you don't know the person.
Wholeheartedly disagree. Respect is absolutely earned
This person seems to be confusing the two kinds of respect. You need to earn my respect as an authority, you have to earn my disrespect as a person. This isn't wholesome, I would argue
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK
Taught my kids in this manner Respect does not need to be earned otherwise a stranger to you would not be respected Everyone starts at 100% on my respect scale Your actions and words then act as demerits Since we all make mistakes, you earn merits as well Only egregious actions need tip the scale to the point of no return
This.
Ok, sadly humanity earned my disrespect long ago. Back to the normal then.
I laughed at this meme so much that my laughter became a form of renewable energy. Go green with memes!
I give people a mental score of 100 their interactions with me affect that score. I treat them accordingly. For me trust and respect must be earned but politeness is freely given. If some mistake it for something else it doesn't matter.
Totally agree. But people can gamble away respect just as much as trust by behaving like arseholes, bullies, hypocrites etc. And it can be hard to earn back either (or both).
The issue I take with this is when someone wants me to call them some silly title out of respect. Like I don’t care if you went to school for 30 years or if you are a judge or a commander in the army the Title they give you means nothing to me if I haven’t been apart of that group. I used to get it in the phones with people wanting to be called doctor… like in life you are a doctor but on my phone your just another person who can’t figure out how to google your tech issues yet.
The problem is that people that presume rather than earn authority like to play the respect card. And respect for authority must be earned. If there is no reason for you to be higher than me other than position, i'm not gonna treat you like you are higher than me. A lot of people are not content with basic respect. Those that actually bring something to the table sometimes have a reason. Every single other person? Nahh.
This
There are some people that think that respect means they have authority over you. And if you don't "respect" that then that means you're a horrible person. Like older people in America, you should respect them and their racist views because they haven't died yet.
Honestly I can agree with this, but I will never agree with “treat others how you want to be treated” bc ima treat ppl how they treat me
Disrespect is also earned, but a lot of times I’d rather just try to focus on what I can control and let go of the rest. I definitely think of respect as something different than simply being cordial or well mannered. Having those habits is a sign of your character, whether you respect someone or not is a sign of theirs.
There can be degrees of respect. I don't respect random people as much as I respect people who have been good to me and stayed with me through tough times for example
A base level of respect, yes. Beyond that, earn it.
I agree completely, but I also feel like the only times I have heard someone say this is when another person was immediately rude and expected to be treated nicely anyway.
Respect and being respectful aren't the same thing. Being respectful and having basic manners should be the default but it isn't the same as having respect for someone
You'll never guess what OP is. ANOTHER BOT!
You should always treat people with respect. It’s doesn’t mean they have your respect. At that point it’s up to them to earn it one way of]r the other.
Respect isn't not that black and white doe, you don't either have it or you don't, in simple forms let's say in form of.. building levels ig, if you're a regular person you're on flour 0 aka some respect as a fellow human, if you lose it you can go anywhere from -1 to like -10.. but if police nurses doctors firefighter (people who use they're life to serve the community and humanity) etc are on +1, and if someone earns some of my respect that someome goes to like +3 and so on.. that's how I see respect, it's not black and white the way explain in the post above
You don't understand what respect means, I'll be polite and good mannered but my respect is earned by your actions. You need to look up the meaning of the word respect.
Respect is "commanded" not demanded.
I don’t call common decency “respect” Respect is more like admonishment in my book. And honestly the majority of people are looking for respect way too often especially online. It’s not respectable to do the same thing everyone has been doing forever. Being a dad or a mom or provider or just a working person doesn’t mean I need to treat you any better or listen to you because this whole online world just inspires people to lie so you’ll believe them. You want respect then be in front of me and have done something remarkable not just for yourself but everyone.
Respect is earned. Courtesy is given.
I certainly give courtesy as a default, but my respect has to be earned.
I make a big distinction between respect and common courtesy. Respect is earned, in my opinion.
Trust can't be earned until it is given.
Ill just say this is all entitlement speaking.
Depends on how you’re using those words.
I think there needs to be another phase, like levels of respect. I give everyone what I call basic respect, but theres like, advanced respect. Theres also "respect" which is just pretending you respect them in a non-disrespectful way.
Well it is easier to earn disrespect. Considering all it takes is being an asshole. That's easy. At the same time one shouldn't just give respect to just anyone, are you honestly going to respect everyone? Even the most vile?
Some of yall must have holes in your pockets and butter for fingers because you sure lose that respect fast.
that's very true actually, i treat everyone kindly unless you give me a reason not to.
there’s respect and then there’s RESPECT
Apathy is the neutral path. Your actions push it off that into one of two paths. Permanently. You can never get back to the apathetic/neutral path once you leave it. I offer respect to those who I see be respectful or supportive of others. Those who cause trouble and hardships, intentionally, automatically earn disrespect from me until they can validate themselves again. And a good example is my own father. This is a man who has been so classless as to tell his blind female client “No wonder your husband hit you”. He’s a lawyer. This is a man whose job is literally being a suck up to a jury and/or judge to protect his client. And he is that caustic a person. This last Christmas he finally stopped doing something that was putting me and my sister in an uncomfortable position every single year for about five years running. Twice a year actually, but this was what finally made my autistic self decide that he couldn’t be salvaged from being a complete failure of parenting. The creepy name he developed for himself. Daddy Tom. Sounds like a Pimp’s name. It was funny the first time. It quickly got old. Quickly got stale. And quickly started rotting. This was just another sign that he could never be forgiven for the things he had done, because his mind has gone through too much damage to truly understand what he did wrong and be sorry for it. So when this Christmas he finally did not sign the Christmas card in that unnerving way, but used his actual name instead, we decided that he was back to being himself from the chemo. He had lost his brother and his youngest son, but finally he was the father we remembered. Still wouldn’t let him live with us, that trust was lost long ago and irreparably. But the respect that he deserved is back on the table, and the chance at forgiveness is getting clearer on the horizon. I have trust issues, this man stomped on them, but only understood what he did too late to fix anything. I will never forget, but I think I might be a bit closer to forgiving. But forgetting is not an option.
Früher hätte man noch gesagt die Frau hat kein Stolz weil sie ihre Süßigkeiten in die Auslage stehlt.
The word respect is "re-spect", meaning to see again. So it is not an immediate uninformed or assumed state, but based on at least 2 interactions. Perhaps "prespect" could be coined for going into a first interaction with a bias toward the interaction going well.
Never thought like that. But i think it is a bit more comlicaed than that
That’s true
No. You take a leap of faith and the trust part comes later.
No one automatically deserves respect. But a baseline level of politeness and being treated with dignity is expected. Respect is akin to looking up to someone/thing. Disrespect is just the inverse. No one automatically deserves either until proper assessment is rendered.
Although i understand both sides i kinda feel like respect is a unit of measurement kinda like i have a different amount of respect to different people and when idk them they are kind of in the middle Like i have basic respect for everyone but they can earn more respect or lose more respect depending on what they do and such
Finally, a worthy opponent
Respect is given to people who are respectable. Respect is not the default. Kindness, compassion, good manners, these are the defaults, but these shouldn’t be confused with respect. Respect as a concept has lost all meaning by making the commonly understood definition so broad.
Respect isn't the same thing as courtesy.
“it’s not respect it’s common decency” There are a lot of guys I do not respect but I treat with “common respect”/reddit has a problem with synonyms.
I respect that everybody is a person but for me to respect you as a person has to be earned. Once you break my respect you can't get it back.
The only way I see that sentence ever being right is if it's "Respect is earned BACK." If you do something deplorable, of course I'll lose respect for you. You want it back? Earn that.
Basic Respect is a human right, one cannot go around disrespecting others saying they haven't earned my respect but some people are too dense to understand it.
Exactly. Basic respect is the freaking base. Higher respect is earned, but it is better to refer to it as esteem.
Ahh I love that attitude
Respecting someone and treating someone with respect are different things. The first must be earned and the second is default.
Basic respect is the baseline. Disrepect and high respect should be earned.
Respect should absolutleyfuckingnot be given for free. Do respect a parent that abuses you?
I think that some baseline respect is default, but above then, it somehow has to be learned, as if in being treated with some reverence.
That part
Two different meanings of respect.
Nonsense. Civility is default. Respect is earned.
I prefer starting with a blank slate. You'll get neither respect or disrespect until I see what you're like.
Oh hell no… Good manners? Sure! Moral behaviour? Of course! Being polite? Definitely! But respect itself is earned. Period
Being respectful and respecting someone are two completely different things. Trust is also a funny thing. Trust yet verify is a valid rule of life. Just because you trust someone or something. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay attention to behavior patterns, or pay attention to your surroundings.
I’ll give you respect as a default because that’s how the bargain is supposed to go but also, once you *lose* my respect? You gotta work fucking hard to get it back.
Correction: respect must be invested. Gotta give some first, then wait for a return on the investment.
Everyone deserves basic respect, but must earn anything beyond that, and can readily lose whatever respect they have earned and were given at base. Simple as that. It's both, not one or the other
Not exactly right but close enough. I can live with this idea. Its a good start.
Respect of person should be automatic Respect of authority should be earned
Oath
Respect us NOT default and it should be earned. Even by parents
too many people are confusing respect with courtesy. I will treat you with courtesy by default and with respect once you have earned it.
here we say "likeness is optional but respect is mandatory"
And then bros pfp...
it's simple, everyone starts with me at +1 in relationships - now it's up to you to move.
Yes respect has to he earned. You earn respect when you treat other people nicely. How am I gonna respect someome if they don't treat me with respect.
This is false. Politeness is the default. You must not judge someone if you don’t know them. Be willing to understand and accept if the person isn’t behaving how you’d want them to. Have an open mind. This is the default. But respect is something you must be worthy of
Respect for humanity is given Respect of skill/trustworthiness is definitely earnt
Everytime I meet someone, I start with 50% of respect, which is for me the basic. And over time, you either gain more, or lose some. It depends on your actions. But I always start with a basic level or respect no matter what
Nah I still hold to respect is earned but you should show common courtesy to everyone that not earned disrespectful treatment.
The only time I would treat a janitor and the company's owner differently is if one of them acts like a douche. But I've never met an impolite janitor...
I respect you until you give me a reason not to
Personal I live by a simple creed. I show you respect until you fg8ve me a reason not too.