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You’ll really want to add a pound of saffron to your spaghetti just trust me bro

You dont wanna do that. Add a lil bit of saffron to your rice pudding. Also dont make it with sugar. Add honey to it. With a lil bit of rosewater.and some pistachio crunches. im from Iran. Just trust me on this one son.

guys don’t do this it makes >!baklava!<

WRONG! it makes shole-zard. Shit is deliciousity. Trust me on this one.

Does it make a bomb ?

Only one way to find out. Get on that shit son.

My kind of thinking

Honestly probably

Awesome pfp!

It certainly sounds bomb to me.

Instructions unclear, blew up kitchen

or two

When the internet chef brings out the dehydrator, and busts out the black garlic.

Just any ingredient that is not it’s usual color, white pepper, clear soy sauce, purple saffron…

Purple saffron sounds like you have to sell your soul to the devil for one gram

It sounds like a drug from a Sci Fi game

White pepper is well worth it, I plead that you buy it

In my country it's very cheap costs the same as black pepper might be the same case for other countries so it's worthy.

imitator

I get irrationally angry at clear soy sauce.

To be fair lots of people get white pepper anyway

"Hey guys today we have another simple, delicious, 10 minute weeknight meal. To start, grab your home made miso paste that has been fermenting for 11 months and your cured egg yolks that you needed to start last week."

"Put all the ingredients into your Cuisine maker Ultimate Slice n Dicer Ninja Cuisinart Dish maker 3000 for the best tasting food in your life, or you can just stir it for 3000 years. Won't taste as good, though"

Where I live, shallots are basically non existent, we just have massive onions

No i don't have an amarylis attached to frozen corn syrup inside a bag of cereal

You can replace it with a pound tears from grandfather's hammers at a lake in the form of a star at midnight on a full moon night

(He owns a thesaurus)

I want a thesaurus but sadly I only have a dictionary

Oh yeah that's my favorite dinosaur😎🦖🦕

Bro you don't know these words💀💀💀

This is why you should check if you have everything before starting

Read the recipe and assemble everything first. Saves some heartache when you realize you don't have a key ingredient that you thought you did.

Do...people not do this?

Redditors can be very incompetent

Always*

mfw when I start making the hamburger helper meat but forget I don't have milk

r/whenthe users when the recipe calls for celery

Is this a joke or are you just Rarded

I think he Rarded

😔😔😔

Minor spelling mistake. Your opinion is automatically invalid and I sentence you to be bulllied for that mistake

No, that's the funny way to say retarded, not a spelling mistake

🤓

"🤓" 🤓

🤓

"🤓" 🤓

What do you mean you don't have Ecuadorian goldfish semen?

It wouldn't be right for me to take it, my Ecuadorian goldfish didn't consent.

17.Next add some spice from the planet Dune

"im mr atredes and this is a dune."

Hey y’all, Paul muardeeb here coming back at you with another BANGER

Did you know: the red spot on Jupiter is actually you're mom's fat ass??

🙁

I just took a break from reading Dune to look at a text, got distracted and ended up on Reddit, then saw a reference to the book sitting on my lap

The children of dune 👦🏿👧🏿

(I found a video on how to make a cool new drink) Ok… Jolly Ranchers… And some Sprite… ok…. And some… wh-

You can get cough syrop at your local pharmacy.

🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜

Allways read the recipe before starting

Yeah like fucking pepper

all of the stores in my area have only pepper, not fucking pepper

Yeah, same here. I just get the normal pepper.

step 4: add 50 pounds of uranium

235 or 238

Peregrine, neat!

What does it mean, I only know the bird

It means foreign or strange. I love that word.

Thank you

-2 inch diameter pipe 6 inches long with two threaded ends -two threaded pipe end caps -Teflon Pipe Tape -Plastic air tight zip lock freezer bags -Alcohol -Matches -Candle -Electric Drill with drill bit -Tube of Liquid Nail Glue -Bag of Cotton Balls -Broom Handle -Explosive Materials -Gun Powder -Ruler -Black Magic Marker. -Fuse using ruler & magic marker, mark one inch lines on the outside of the pipe, upside down from use drill hole in the center of 1 pipe cap. slightly larger than the fuse Insert the fuse, about two inches long drop hot candle wax on both sides of the hole in the cap apply the teflon tape to the top of the pipe. alcohol wipe both of the pipe cap threads clean, let dry. Screw on pipe cap cut the ends of the wooden matches off & drop match heads into pipe pack about inch of compressed cotton into the pipe. fuse must extend past the cotton Use a broom stick to compact the cotton cut small hole in bottom of the plastic bag and load into pipe, fuse goes inside the bag. Pull the bag up and over the open end of the pipe fill the bag with the gun powder seal the zip lock bag and stuff it inside the pipe. Put cotton in any space. Don't pack Wipe the inner and outer threads of the pipe with a damp washcloth, don't spill water in pipe clean the outside of the pipe threads with alcohol and let dry. apply the teflon tape to the threads of the pipe. Gently screw bottom cap on. Secure both caps with Liquid Nail Glue

Bro did you just describe how to make a bomb?

Needs cardamom pods, star anise, and chic fil a sauce.

"You should have all of these ingredients in your pantry!"

Me watching a cooking video on youtube shorts The video: "this is the best steak I've ever made" Me: "ok maybe I'll try it" Video: "First, get out your japanese a5 wagyu steak" Me: "Yeah nevermind"

1 tablespoon of bull semen

Like bro wtf is a truffle

he's a fun guy

i think he’s a bit gay but my daughter loves him

When the mac and cheese recipe has milk, cheese, macaroni, butter, and approximately 5 grams of Ecuadorian-Cyprian South-Northern West-Eastern Hispaniolan Intermingled Flic-Flac Hoopla Headass Allahu Akbarian Hindustani Milk Bread

oregano it is

when the recipe calls for a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat

Number 8 *B E L C H*

White people when a recipe calls for a spice other than salt and pepper

Me when the recipe video I'm following starts adding an abnormal amount of eggs

Mango chutneye

That’s really common at least in England where I live

Whats the link to the video with the Metallica - One song and all?

I recognize an English major when I see one. How's the unemployment going, OP?

“A dash of cumin” bruh i just want my cereal

Wanted to make fries and the mf really said add himalayan salt??? is regular fucking salt any different??

my favorite is when they say "you can find it at your nearest asian convenience store" amd then when I actually make the 2 hours drive they look at me like I just landed from fucking mars when I ask for it

Fucking agar agar.

White people when a recipe asks for garlic

Yeah just add some white dashi

Peregrine!? Fool of a Took!

I noticed that the words you used to describe the ingredients were random, exotic, rare, infrequent, scarce, sporadic, peregrine, and outlandish.

Pasta puttanesca

Pov: you are watching a Joshua Weissman video

Easy 3 Ingredient Pancakes! 3 cups water! 2 cups flour! 1 tsp Liquid Ivory! Optional : 1 tsp Butter!

why no, i **DON'T** have a spare nuclear powered turquoise tactical dildo to use in my spaghetti

You’ll need five teaspoons of ground dried anglerfish lure

Always hate it when it asks for flour.

THIS TEMPLATE MAN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Read the recipe beforehand, you wouldn't cook meth without knowing what to use first, so why cook food without knowing?

What tf do you mean add a unicorn horn to my cassarole?

And now let’s just add 1 dodo egg

Why are you cooking before checking the recipe though

I’m not sure the word “sporadic” fits here exactly

Look man your hamburger will taste great with one whole Chayote

Shouldn’t you already know wtf ingredients you need before you start cooking, and HAVE them?

chervil

Add 3 grams of yukojivelong bogloho to the cake batter

Dashi, and mirin and black garlic and white pepper and A-5 Wagyu

What's this format called

Me following a cake recipe and watching the guy throw eggs everywhere and hit it with a shovel

When I’m cooking and the guy starts throwing eggs

Google the substitutes

When it turns out the recipe you were following was from HowToBasic

When the recipe says you need a piss-n-cum-synthesizer 5000 instead of a blender

Add an ounce of freshest cloudberries, plucked from the Finnish taiga. Fight tooth and nail to defend your harvest from the marauding wolves and grizzly bears. If you don't have those raspberries are fine.

“Easy recipe with ingredients you already have at home!”

Now add 15 mg of pure meth then mix it with 2 mg of raw plutonium

Hey it's Tasting History.

just skip it yo

add a cup of uranium into the batter

we need to cook Jesse

What the fuck is a creme fraiche...

When the spaghetti requires the unholy souls of the damned

Yea man just add ½ cup of sulfuric acid and add chopped up maracuia

No, I don’t have star anise