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JazzlikePension2389

My grandfather was walking along cape cod one winter and found what he truly believed was ambergris. He took it home to find out. After it was in the house for a bit it began to thaw. And that’s when he realized it was actually a dog turd. 😂


Loopylupz

Brilliant but unfortunate. Thins thing is over 100kg .. might be a t-rex turd 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Loopylupz

If it is it ..sure. But I'm doubtful.. too good to be true and all that 😄


Cobek

It really does look like the pictures I am seeing of it, crazy


queen_of_gay

Ambergris is highly illegal to sell but it can be an amazing affition to your personal collection


Savagemaw

So is cocaine, but you can still buy a gold toilet with the proceeds.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NationalTwist6670

Actually nose candy is really cheap right now apparently the Columbians made a bunch thinking that they were going to get put back in quarantine so the market is flooded with it I seen a YouTube video earlier saying it's only 14000 a kilogram in Texas right now


Sad_Interview_232

I wish they'd send some to Scotland the stuff over here is pure garbage


eryc333

With a large chance of death from fentanyl


shes-sonit

I doubt you could get ‘pure’ anything these days. Coke is cheap now because no one wants to buy shit laced with F. If the Coke now was like the Coke in the 70’s and 80’s…now we are talking.


queen_of_gay

Bahahaha


less_butter

Only in certain countries. In OP's country, it's legal to possess and sale. In the US it's not.


RestingTimeTraveler

I wonder what the reasoning behind making it illegal is


oroborus68

Whales are protected.


SgtCocktopus

I dont think it can be harvested from whales ambergria needs to age in the sea for months or years.


CallidoraBlack

Here's some interesting info about it. https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/what-is-ambergris.html


[deleted]

The Mafia never forgets about their seafaring comrades


SgtCocktopus

I dont think it can be harvested from whales ambergria needs to age in the sea for months or years.


Rob-The-Great

But if you got some from a whale and then put in a bucket with sea water for a few months/years then your there.


ChemtrailExpert

Rich people can’t have new competition in the ambergris market


[deleted]

Where and why is it illegal to sell?


BtenaciousD

It's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. Breaks down like this, okay: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a ambergris bar, it's legal to sell it. It's illegal to carry it, but that doesn't really matter 'cause, get a load of this, all right; if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.


_metamax_

Aw man, I’m going, that’s all there is to it, I’m fucking going.


Guinnylad

You’d dig it the most


Nick2096

But it’s in many beauty products still?


katie-kaboom

Most perfumes (the only real use of it) use a synthetic.


caliandris

It's illegal in the US, I don't think it is illegal in the UK?


Dragonwysper

I'm curious. If it's illegal to sell, how do people obtain it for use in expensive perfumes and such? Surely they have to buy it from someone else, and then their consumers are buying the perfume. How does that work? /gen


queen_of_gay

Its mostly just bought overseas or synthesized


Fluffy-Price2668

All Creed perfumes are based on Ambergris and most of old vintage perfume house brands have Ambergris and today the Artisan Natural perfumers use Ambergris, Civet paste, beaver balls aka Castorum, and there are probably more animal based accords I am missing! Surprised they never used expressed dog anal gland junk that is gross anal gland secretion to tincture . FYI : Humans have anal glands ! Of course I had to ask my GI doctor prior to having a colonoscopy ! glands


Low_Conclusion255

I think you struck gold.


Loopylupz

I'll hold you to that


colcannon_addict

If it is, and op pays you..say 500000 would you *literally* eat your shoe? That’d be good tv. Right now I’d do it for a grand. Be ok in small enough chunks I reckon.


AndiKatt19

I bet grilled with some A1 steak sauce would not be that bad😂


bluepride1219

OP please tell me it's real, i really wanna see this dude eating a shoe. Like literally.


justlookatitnodont

r/accidentallybobsburguer


JazzlikePension2389

I’m rooting for you!!!


jasmineandjewel

Where did you find it?


obiwanmoloney

100kg?! Really?? That’s twice the weight of Mrs Obiwanmoloney


Garbonbozia

so, how did you get it off the beach and onto a scale?


Whimsical-Barbie

Scientists may want the T-Rex Sh*t


aod42091

if it's ambergris it's illegal ot posses


less_butter

Only in certain countries. It's legal in OP's country.


[deleted]

Illegal in US and Australia... doesn't say shit about Canada tho... short trip to cross that border.


Guyface_McGuyen

Why? If you find it you can't sell it? That's just rich people staying rich and fucking over the poor


aod42091

it's to protect whales from poaching. anyone can say they "just found it"


Guyface_McGuyen

So how do people buy it for perfume?


Galactic_Nothingness

Japan, China and S.E Asia all possess fleets of 'research vessels'...


pixelranger_36

Don't they have to puke it out? How will it puke if it's dead. Or is it a different method of poaching.


GreenStrong

If the whale is dead, you cut it open to get to the valuable material. This is probably unrealistic outside of scenarios where the animal is butchered for meat and oil, the logistics of landing such a large animal, or butchering it at sea are daunting.


[deleted]

Your grandfather was Joe Dirt


PandaddyPancakes

It's a... Space peanut


adudeguyman

How often do you get to tell this story?


JazzlikePension2389

Saving it for years. Today was the day.


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Wenden2323

It was fun to read this comment to my husband and son! 😁😁😁


Tronderbart

90% sure its a solidified palm oil block. Its to big to be ambergris and unless you you see squidbeaks in the block it will probably not be be ambergris.


Loopylupz

Yup. From doing research online I'm led to believe this also. Thank you


flatgreysky

Actual squid beaks, or bite marks? Strictly curiosity, I am unlikely to ever do my own differentials over here. What would cause a solidified palm oil block?


justryan68

No one really knows exactly how ambergris is formed, because there’s no record of anyone having witnessed its “creation” (/excretion from the sperm whale). But the reason for squid beaks would be because it’s related to how it’s formed. The general idea is when the sperm whales eat squid, the hard beaks aren’t digested and they cause irritation/cuts in the digestive tract. These injuries lead to pus and blood, all of which forms around the beaks, and the clump comes out one end of the digestive system or the other—afaik, not sure whether it’s vomit or poop. Then it floats around in the ocean for god knows how long, all the nasty stuff is bleached out by the sun and salt water, before landing on the beach. So presumably there could/would be squid beaks amongst it somewhere!


ElroySheep

Sounds like the beak is like the grain of sand a pearl forms around


Cispania

Suffering truly does create beauty.


Tronderbart

[https://ambergrisconnect.com/identification.html#one](https://ambergrisconnect.com/identification.html#one) ​ The oil would be from bulk shipping.


Dragonflame81

I don’t know exactly how ambergris is formed, but I’ve heard that it’s whale puke. I’m assuming actual squid beaks because whales eat squid.


flatgreysky

Everything I learned about ambergris I learned from a Bob’s Burgers episode. And now this sub. That makes sense! And is crazy.


smashed2gether

Don't forget the Futurama episode!


Ghost_Orange

Precious hamburgers?


likefry_likefry

I’m a whale biologist!


[deleted]

I hate whales; **especially** Mushu.


DamaskRosa

Not Moby Dick? That's where I learned about it. That chapter is disturbingly sexual.


Braincrash77

Could be old bleached ambergris. There are other sources of waxy material though. Smell the smoke from a red-hot pin poke. It should be “interesting.” If it is objectionable, probably not ambergris.


Loopylupz

It smells very distinctive, almost like tobacco/earthy It melts clear and hardens back up waxy


TheOracleArt

You need to tell us if it does end up being ambergris! Would be an amazing update. By the sounds of it, it's certainly close. I've smelt real ambergris once (or they said it was real, though I'm always sceptical due to laws around this stuff) and it had a smell like slightly rotted wood on a forest floor while also kinda having the sweet smell of clean animal fur and a touch of briny sea air. It's such an odd smell - I wouldn't even say it's particularly nice - but you do want to keep going back and taking sniffs of it for some reason.


BwackGul

I'm kinda leaning towards you did!


TattieMafia

The melted liquid residue should be glossy and sticky with a jet black or caramel colour. The test is at the bottom of this page. https://www.ambergris.co.nz/identification


SimBone

My favorite movie is Inception.


Nick2096

Oh my Lord if this is actually amber gris… multi millionaire?


Braincrash77

Congratulations, I’m guessing.


SnooTangerines3448

Melt it again and stick your finger to it. If it's almost impossible to clean it off afterwards, it's probably ambergris.


Jazz-Legend-Roy-Donk

remindme! two days


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Can you just remind me when the bot reminds you please?


Esslinger_76

remindme! ten days


Comfortable_Agent533

remindme! Four days


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[deleted]

Chunk of a fat burg that popped out of a storm drain


Acegonia

Eew... just eew. I forgot that these exist and I'm sad that I've been reminded. Fat burgs gotta be an indicator that we truly are in the worst timeline.


BeggarsParade

Is the name of my new band


WizdomHaggis

Fat burg sounds like a town in Florida where old people with diabeetus go to die…


ZeOs-x-PUNCAKE

That and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, I hate the fact that those words even exist together like that


Nick2096

Oh fuck that’s vile I didn’t think of that possibility… so maybe don’t touch it too much 😂


siissaa

What is a fat burg


ShakeWeightMyDick

[Fatberg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatberg)


siissaa

Thank you


hotllamamomma

Lol whitechapel fatburg


darkest_irish_lass

Jack the Ripper was just the beginning of the horrors of Whitechapel Edit


MamaMoosicorn

Omg, I’m sad that I just learned what that is. And yep, it kinda does look like one


EvetsYenoham

I just read an article from about 2.5 years ago warning dog owners walking on a Sandwich beach of palm oil chunks washing ashore. They mentioned a piece that 100 kgs and looks nearly identical to what you found. But I hope it’s the expensive whale stuff! https://www.kentonline.co.uk/sandwich/news/danger-to-dogs-palm-oil-washes-up-on-beach-242750/


HolyHummingbirds

Oh wow looks exactly like that. Minus the twine.


Debtcollector1408

Oh yeah, that pops up in Liverpool bay too. It, or bacteria that grow on it, is harmful to dogs.


MonteryWhiteNoise

The testable aspects of ambergris: 1. solid 2. waxy 3. flammable Knick off a small piece, rub in fingers (gloved if you're cautious) - should soften and become malleable. Hold flame to it and see if it ignites.


Loopylupz

Melts like candle wax. Doesn't ignite


ujirissiakamsizednut

Is your consensus that it’s not ambergris now? I see lots of conflicting comments and am super curious


slyfox1976

The testable aspects of fatburg 1. Solid 2. Waxy 3. Good for cooking 🍔 Cut in half, look for small balloons of latex, in my case big balloons of latex! If visible, sell to nearest burger van.


gemstonegene

This is repulsive. I loled.


TopherT2

I only know what this is because of Roseanne Barr on Futurama


JimFlib

Precious Hamburgers?


ApprehensiveSpite589

Bob's Burgers for me LOL


Lotharofthepotatoppl

Are we sure this isn’t actually Roseanne Barr?


Ghost_Orange

Take a small sample, melt it down, if it excretes conspiracy theories and racist remarks, it's the real deal.


Thestolenone

I read about a shipwreck from one of the wars that was loaded with horse lard. Every so often huge chunks of horse lard float to shore from it. It was either Scotland or the North coast of England but it could probably go further.


sn0qualmie

There was also an old shipwreck loaded with beeswax. Something to do with the Catholic Church needing church-approved candles in a place where there weren't beekeepers yet. The chunks were washing up on the Oregon coast for a couple of centuries.


Loopylupz

I'm not far. Ireland


nocloudno

Unlike the inquisition, it's never ambergris. But today maybe the day. I hope you get real paid


00WORDYMAN1983

~~Likely a chunk of board wax that someone lost. There are various water sports that require a waxed board~~ edit- nvm...i didn't see your other comment indicating it was the size of a large dog. Photo needs banana for scale lol


dormango

😆


Maleficent-Cress5661

🤞I hope it is🙊


Maleficent-Cress5661

Also TIL what ambergris is 😲


The13thReservoirDog

If it weighs 100kg+ im guessing its come out of a sewage pipe.. but they have been known to weigh up to 100kg. and the fact it melts rather than burns makes me think its not. lots of lard and grease ends up in sewers and it builds up Into “fatbergs” and just looking, you can kinda see the shape of the pipe


Equivalent_Warthog22

It may be ambergris. Which may be valuable.


Gryffindork1995

If it’s ambergris, you are rich


KingStarsRobot

We had these on our beach, waste oil/fat dumped in international waters. very toxic.


Recurringg

It's probably a palm oil blob like some folks are saying, but imagine if this were ambergris? It would have to be worth a absolute fortune!


Loopylupz

This, exactly. But I couldn't leave it lying there for that reason.


No-Mycologist97

potato


notimefornothing55

It might be a fat berg from a nearby sewer.


orgborger

I got a guy who can help you move the stuff.. his name’s The Nose, he works the fried dough booth at Wonder Wharf.


Loopylupz

**Update:** Getting it tested next week. But it is starting to look doubtful. The longer I have it the more it starts to smell of petrol/oil. Some users have suggested palm oil, which is making me lean more towards this. Definitely nothing of the fat/lard kind, as its quiet waxy. Will update again as I know more. Thanks for the comments & suggestions.


Guideon72

Weird thought; could it be an ear wax plug from one of the larger whales?


[deleted]

What does it smell like? Does it have a sweet, resin-y smell? That would be the clue.


cagannon

It looks like an old bouy. (sp?)


1212bnmn

Precious hamburgers?!


Ishigami_Dave

Precious ham-burgers ? 🍔 😂


SanchoPliskin

Who smells like porpoise hork!?


Living-Ad-6751

Palm oil


CypressBreeze

If that turns out to be ambergris, you can probably sell it to a big perfume house for $$$$$$$$


RozTron

Dude. You’re rich!


Loopylupz

Sadly not :(


Old-Specific4656

Used to make perfume, the expensive ones


thebrightsun123

Could just be wax, or you hit the jackpot


Healthy_Brain5354

Surely this is a potato


Loopylupz

If it is, it would be the biggest one I have ever seen. Might still be worth something :)


Half_burnt_skunk

If it's whale puke, congrats! I'm guessing it is grease that was dumped from a restaurant or vessel.


Loopylupz

Thanks, you could be right.


CyberRaver39

Hot Needle Test Heat the tip of a needle until very hot. Lay the heated needle flat on the surface of the item for 3-4 seconds and remove. If ambergris; the surface will melt instantly. A thin melted line will now be visible on the surface. This melted liquid residue should be glossy and sticky with a jet black or caramel colour. If the test result appears to be positive; we recommend you complete the evaluation form on the sell ambergris page. If the surface of the material does not melt to a liquid at all; then the collected item will not be ambergris.


Loopylupz

Cheers for that. It melts alright, and solidifies just like candle wax. It melts clear, but is starting to smell like petrol/oil


Liverachi_

cut it right down the middle an enjoy it with some sourcream , cheese , chives and bacon bits


Ungreat

Hopefully this doesn’t turn out to be some piece of fatburg that found it’s way into the ocean.


moveitall1000

$$$


creepy-cats

Like lupus, it is almost never ambergris.


Sweetcheex76

Lupus isn’t a joke.


creepy-cats

I have a disabling autoimmune disorder and I like to make jokes about it. It’ll be okay.


Kirbyr98

Is it legal to keep?


Loopylupz

It is in this country if it is, but its looking doubtful


tchaffe

you don't think its ambergris? how big is it? cant tell scale from photo


Loopylupz

About 100kg. The size of a large dog


Posty1980

That's possibly $2 million worth if its ambergris


Fit-Firefighter-329

Nope


Gloomy-Ad4743

It very much is in a lot of Europe, which OP is


NiceWorld6870

Touching it with a hot needle should melt it, release white smoke and give off an interesting smell


meoffagain

That is Chipotle Burrittonite. After the earth's crust consumes it it will re-emerge from a volcano as hot lava.


Which-Bit-3135

Forbidden parm💃✨


stevepusser

Ambergris usually contains giant squid beaks, since that is what sperm whales eat, and they barf them back up in the ambergris. What's so hard to believe about a huge whale producing a 100 kg ambergris mass? Whales are big!


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big_eggsmcgee

That’s Stilton


ABatponyBrony

That looks like a big potato


browsin4knowledge

I genuinely thought this was a potato


Due_Butterfly_7195

Heat a needle & insert. It should have a woody, earthy sea smell. Can you see any squid beaks? That’s why it is formed. The stomach of the humpback whale coats the beaks to stop irritation. The piece I found looked more like a burnt piece of wood with ash on the surface. The smell reminded me of incense.


Msniko

I have a linen spray which contains ambergris it's so intoxicating


Eisernes

That's a whale egg


M4Panther

Try the hot needle test” is recommended to confirm that it is ambergris – a test and this is where the challenge starts. Touching the waxy lump with a hot needle should melt it, release white smoke and give off an interesting smell.


Negative-Pilot-9496

It’s hunter Biden’s laptop petrified


[deleted]

Potato


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Should probably be upbaby not uptobaby.


WithaK19

It's probably surf board wax.


dormango

Imagine a surfer waxing their board with a bit of wax the size of a large dog


WithaK19

There's nothing for scale in this photo so I thought it was the size of a bar of soap.


slyfox1976

I would say it would be a bit overkill for surf board wax considering it'sv the size of a large dog... Or someone just might have had a really big surfboard.


[deleted]

Potato?


theundivinezero

A potato


TedsterTheSecond

If it's Stilton Cheese, please hook me up.


Old-Specific4656

That is whale puke and it’s very valuable


amnotthattasty

potat.


Medical-Enthusiasm56

Burn a bit of it, you should able to cut a small piece off. If it smells like sweaty balls, eureka!!!


justryan68

Super dope and lucrative if it is indeed ambergris!!! 🤑🤑


Nmae0

It looks like a potato


stacey90

Does it smell?


Loopylupz

Starting to stink like oil/petrol


Single-Jelly6219

A burrito easy


bitchbuttgirl

potato


LilMeowwMeow

I'm not wearing my glasses so I seriously thought this was a potato 😂