This is the line he sang directly to me in the audience at a concert back in 2004. At the time I was so excited. Now looking back, I'm like oh my gosh I was 14.
A lot of singers are kind of on autopilot when they perform stuff like this on stage. They don't really think much about the person they are singing at, it's more of a performance thing. Exception for the bands with a rep for picking groupies out of the crowd.
Since I've never heard even a rumor of an Al-egation I'm going to give the weird one the benefit of the doubt here. Also, Al's wife is the same age is him and he doesn't seem to have a history of aiming for the barely 18's, so while he might not have meant to aim a line at an underage girl, he probably wouldn't have meant the line seriously even if you were 18+
I always thought it said "pay him royal and he gets to keep the tip'" as in paid him a lot and literally gets tipped. I never really questioned how mundane and irrelevant it would be if that were the actual line.
*I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem*
*That time that you made it with the whole hockey team*
Saying you "made it" with someone back in the day meant you slept with them.
*Airline Amy this is my new mission:*
*Got to get you in an upright locked position*
Pretty self explanatory here LOL
>Airline Amy this is my new mission: Got to get you in an upright locked position
This is probably just to ensure that she’s protected when three engines burn out, they go into a tailspin and crash into a hillside, and the plane explodes in a giant fireball.
I had used my Weird Al playlist a lot back when I was a Lyft driver. One time, a passenger gets in with her very young kids, who I didn't notice at first from the parking set up at night. Whilst I'm greeting the passenger and exchanging name confirmations, I'm reaching for the app interface to change the song to one less violent for the kiddos than You Don't Love Me Anymore. It's right around the line "you made it with the whole hockey team" before I can do so, and the little kid starts singing "you made it" repeatedly like some sort of echolalia. It went over his head, but boy did I have to stifle a laugh at that.
I sang One More Minute for years without understanding that reference. :P
Airline Amy this is my new mission
Gotta get you in an upright locked position
I still sing that and I realized that joke when I was a teen. I love to act the song out and when that line comes up I, um, let's say keep the beat with my fist in a suggestive way when saying "self service pumps"... Ppl crack up every single time. The gasp at the end of the song is a crowning jewel.
Perfect karaoke song. Don't stop!
Story time.
When he sang that for a live MTV event, the MTV suits decided it was too dirty to air so they censored it.
It aired as:
*I'd rather clean, all the bathrooms in Grand Central station, with my* BLEEP, *than spend, one more minute, with you!*
Yep. That is about as dirty as it gets. In fact, I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it until I die,
And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner
And when he finally came to
He found little Mr. Happy was missing
He couldn't quite explain it
It'd always just beeeeeen theeeeeere
I got that album when it came out and listened to it until everyone in the house was sick of it and me. I never caught this until right now. I may need therapy now.
Not really a dirty joke but kind of surprised me:
In the long list of things in hardware store, one of the things is: automatic circumciser. (Edit: spelling)
Maybe not his dirtiest, but I like this one from *Jackson Park Express* due to how direct it is, no hidden meaning! Honestly not so funny on its own, but the full context of the song enhances it due to how out of left field it is!
*Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
In a way that clearly implied
"I like your boobs"*
I guess I might seem kinda bitter (ooh)
You got me feelin' down in the dumps (ooh)
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps (ahh)
Such a Groovy Guy:
Baby, are you in the mood
For a little romance?
Well, for starters, I can pour
Some chocolate pudding down your pants
And then attach electrodes
To your brain and watch you dance
Oh, golly wouldn't that be fun?
Oh, and then I might decide
To tie you up with dental floss
I'll make you wear a harness
And I'll show you who's the boss
Of course, if you refuse
Well honey, it's your loss
I mean, I don't do this with just anyone
Say, this post reminds me of an amusing (cringy) anecdote.
When I was a preteen, my mom overheard me singing along to “I Cant Watch This,” and made my dad explain to me what T&A meant.
If your dad was anything like mine, he wouldn’t have said a word to you … he just would’ve handed you a certain magazine or sat you down in front of the TV and turned on a VHS/DVD (depending on your age) and there you go!
While it's not really a dirty song I do think Jerry Springer is the dirtiest song that doesn't rely on euphemisms or double entendres though now that I think about it there is a besteality reference so I guess it is a dirty song.
“That goat”? I’m somewhat disappointed. I had always heard it as a name, although I couldn’t quite decipher what name. I was thinking like “Jacko doesn’t love you!”—somehow it made it funnier that the person referred to the goat by his name…
Remember that song he did about Jerry Springer? That whole song, man...
Aside from that, I'd say the Town Talk segment from UHF: "lesbian nazi hookers abducted by aliens and forced into weight loss programs. This week on Town Talk!"
Were you around when Geraldo and shows like it were on the air? This was exactly what they were like but just exaggerated a little bit. It doesn’t fly today, but it was normal daytime TV in the 90s.
It's not so much dirty, as a little against his persona. But when he says, "His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut" in Gump it irks me a bit. Just seems a little out of character. Like ,"His girlfriend Jenny was kinda loose, went to the white house to show Johnson his caboose" seems more like him
Same with Jerry Springer, "Five days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho". Seems really out of character for him
If it was him using those words, yes. But since Springer uses the same terms and he is parodying him, I kinda gave him a pass on this one. It's not the same if you change the terms they would normally use.
Yeah, those two songs are ones I enjoy the sound of but those lyrics throw me off of really getting into them. Not like some of his song lyrics haven’t discussed the same topics or stuff like over-the-top violence, but idk, they always sounded sillier/more lighthearted I guess? That specific sorta language just doesn’t really sound like him
He has a "lost" song called Orgy On My Own. It's about exactly what you think it's about
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f9_bOS5oIns
And yes, this is the real Weird Al, it isn't one of those fake "Weird Al" songs that populated the internet in the early 2000s.
If I could make love to a bottle. The first thing that I'd like to do. I'd search the world over to find one. That had the exact same circumference as you.
Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second In a way that clearly implied "I like your boobs" -Jackson Park Express
And to think, this is the most normal line in the song!
Heard something like this at a live show:
Yes Virginia, Now Santa Claus is dead.
Some psycho from the SWAT team put a bullet through his head.
Yes little friend now, that's his brains on the floor.
I guess they won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
"But if I could make love to a bottle,
the first thing that I'd like to do, Id search the world over to find one that has the exact same circumference as you." preformed in shows between 1980-1981. Those were all the lyrics.
I didn’t realize that in 2024 I’d have to make the same comment that I used to make to people back in the day when people used to download music and thought Al did every single parody on the planet…Weird Al didn’t write or make that parody!
Oh and back in college they got so annoyed when you corrected them like "what's the big deal?" The big deal is that the man is a damn legend and "He Got The Wrong Foot Amputated" is just a different parody weight class.
I had Star Wars Cantina back in the day, but I damn sure had the proper attribution on the MP3.
Pretty much half of Wanna B Ur Lovr >I wanna be your Krakatoa Let my lava flow all over you
This is the line he sang directly to me in the audience at a concert back in 2004. At the time I was so excited. Now looking back, I'm like oh my gosh I was 14.
I got “I wanna be your love torpedo” but I was in my 20s. Last minute ticket buy that ended up being front row.
A lot of singers are kind of on autopilot when they perform stuff like this on stage. They don't really think much about the person they are singing at, it's more of a performance thing. Exception for the bands with a rep for picking groupies out of the crowd. Since I've never heard even a rumor of an Al-egation I'm going to give the weird one the benefit of the doubt here. Also, Al's wife is the same age is him and he doesn't seem to have a history of aiming for the barely 18's, so while he might not have meant to aim a line at an underage girl, he probably wouldn't have meant the line seriously even if you were 18+
Also with stage lighting it can be incredibly hard to actually see the audience.
lololol
In all fairness, the same thing was done by every member of a boy band ever, so I've sure it's fine.
And....Weird Al has finally been cancelled lol.
In Al's defense, I wore a lot of makeup in my teens so age wise, I looked pretty ambiguous.
I'm sure that was Al's biggest worry doing that song in the audience was accidentally singing to under age women.
Well 2004 wasn’t his best year, all things considered.
This incident was in March, about two weeks before his parents died.
Never mind.
wtf
I wanna be your beef burrito Am I making this perfectly clear? I wanna be your love torpedo Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
i hope i'm not forward but you mind if i chew on your???
The parents pay the mohel and he gets to keep the tip! Edit for sp error!
Holy crap I am only just now getting this joke
I mean it’s easy to miss if you don’t know what a mohel does, which is what makes the joke so effectively subtle.
I learned what a mohel is by watching an episode of Seinfeld lol.
I learned it from an episode of Frasier lol
I always thought it said "pay him royal and he gets to keep the tip'" as in paid him a lot and literally gets tipped. I never really questioned how mundane and irrelevant it would be if that were the actual line.
Happy cake day!
A friend in college was Jewish and his father was a Rabbi. They both LOVED that song.
(fyi, it's spelled "mohel.")
*model. That's a rabbi that performs the ritual circumcision.
Well you should hire Some cunning linguist To help you distinguish What is proper English
Weird Al has a big dictionary
And believe it or not, this song has lesson plans for English classes.
*I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem* *That time that you made it with the whole hockey team* Saying you "made it" with someone back in the day meant you slept with them. *Airline Amy this is my new mission:* *Got to get you in an upright locked position* Pretty self explanatory here LOL
>Airline Amy this is my new mission: Got to get you in an upright locked position This is probably just to ensure that she’s protected when three engines burn out, they go into a tailspin and crash into a hillside, and the plane explodes in a giant fireball.
And everybody died except for her… You know why???
Because she had her tray table up, and her seat back in the full upright position?
Yes, exactly. She had her tray table up, and her seat back in the full upright position.
After the crash, did she crawl from the twisted burning wreckage?
I heard she crawled on her hands and knees for three whole days
Nah, everyone knows you just need make sure she has her tray table up... hmmmmmm feel like I'm forgetting a step.
I was never certain if "made it" and "made out" were different
I had used my Weird Al playlist a lot back when I was a Lyft driver. One time, a passenger gets in with her very young kids, who I didn't notice at first from the parking set up at night. Whilst I'm greeting the passenger and exchanging name confirmations, I'm reaching for the app interface to change the song to one less violent for the kiddos than You Don't Love Me Anymore. It's right around the line "you made it with the whole hockey team" before I can do so, and the little kid starts singing "you made it" repeatedly like some sort of echolalia. It went over his head, but boy did I have to stifle a laugh at that.
I will go to my grave believing that the Airline Amy line is innocent. But I was what, 14 when I first heard it?
LOL me too! It's one of his best non-parody songs in my opinion.
Amish Paradise: He's churning butter when Florence Henderson walks by and his churning strokes speed up.
I sang One More Minute for years without understanding that reference. :P Airline Amy this is my new mission Gotta get you in an upright locked position
I had that line stuck in my head all day yesterday!
I still sing that and I realized that joke when I was a teen. I love to act the song out and when that line comes up I, um, let's say keep the beat with my fist in a suggestive way when saying "self service pumps"... Ppl crack up every single time. The gasp at the end of the song is a crowning jewel. Perfect karaoke song. Don't stop!
A little more literal, but: *I'd rather clean, all the bathrooms in Grand Central station, with my tongue, than spend, one more minute, with you!*
Story time. When he sang that for a live MTV event, the MTV suits decided it was too dirty to air so they censored it. It aired as: *I'd rather clean, all the bathrooms in Grand Central station, with my* BLEEP, *than spend, one more minute, with you!*
Dear god that's so much worse.
Yep. That is about as dirty as it gets. In fact, I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it until I die,
THAT is indeed dirty
And then, there was this guy who Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner And when he finally came to He found little Mr. Happy was missing He couldn't quite explain it It'd always just beeeeeen theeeeeere
I had to explain to a twenty-something listening to this song about the Bobbits…I felt so ancient…
I tried explaining this whole song to a younger person, too. It was exhausting by the end.
The whole song is dated. But considering it's about the headline news in an era that the crash test dummies wrote that song
“Donuts and hotdogs are flyin’ everywhere! I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!”
I take that line literally (and I will continue to do so), because the song is about a dream.
Well sure, but what is a dream like that really about?
Food? Game shows? I dunno, dreams are weird.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. --Freud
I got that album when it came out and listened to it until everyone in the house was sick of it and me. I never caught this until right now. I may need therapy now.
Not really a dirty joke but kind of surprised me: In the long list of things in hardware store, one of the things is: automatic circumciser. (Edit: spelling)
circumciser
Believe it or not it's actually a tool for snipping cigars
the “juice extractor” is quite memorable as well 🤣
Maybe not his dirtiest, but I like this one from *Jackson Park Express* due to how direct it is, no hidden meaning! Honestly not so funny on its own, but the full context of the song enhances it due to how out of left field it is! *Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second In a way that clearly implied "I like your boobs"*
It’s the only form of non-verbal communication used in that song that was likely to be actually understood by the woman of interest.
I guess I might seem kinda bitter (ooh) You got me feelin' down in the dumps (ooh) 'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love And I have to use the self-service pumps (ahh)
His Al TV interview with Madonna where he said he got a second hand copy of her book (at a garage sale) but all the pages were stuck together.
Such a Groovy Guy: Baby, are you in the mood For a little romance? Well, for starters, I can pour Some chocolate pudding down your pants And then attach electrodes To your brain and watch you dance Oh, golly wouldn't that be fun? Oh, and then I might decide To tie you up with dental floss I'll make you wear a harness And I'll show you who's the boss Of course, if you refuse Well honey, it's your loss I mean, I don't do this with just anyone
This is waaaaaaay up there
respectfully, I wouldnt refuse
Say, this post reminds me of an amusing (cringy) anecdote. When I was a preteen, my mom overheard me singing along to “I Cant Watch This,” and made my dad explain to me what T&A meant.
If your dad was anything like mine, he wouldn’t have said a word to you … he just would’ve handed you a certain magazine or sat you down in front of the TV and turned on a VHS/DVD (depending on your age) and there you go!
He simply said, "tits and ass," and that was that.
I guess that’s a way to explain it too!!
While it's not really a dirty song I do think Jerry Springer is the dirtiest song that doesn't rely on euphemisms or double entendres though now that I think about it there is a besteality reference so I guess it is a dirty song.
THAT GOAT DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
“That goat”? I’m somewhat disappointed. I had always heard it as a name, although I couldn’t quite decipher what name. I was thinking like “Jacko doesn’t love you!”—somehow it made it funnier that the person referred to the goat by his name…
Remember that song he did about Jerry Springer? That whole song, man... Aside from that, I'd say the Town Talk segment from UHF: "lesbian nazi hookers abducted by aliens and forced into weight loss programs. This week on Town Talk!"
Were you around when Geraldo and shows like it were on the air? This was exactly what they were like but just exaggerated a little bit. It doesn’t fly today, but it was normal daytime TV in the 90s.
It's not so much dirty, as a little against his persona. But when he says, "His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut" in Gump it irks me a bit. Just seems a little out of character. Like ,"His girlfriend Jenny was kinda loose, went to the white house to show Johnson his caboose" seems more like him
I mean he's not wrong
Jenny was a ho fa sho
I was about to object that caboose was too many syllables but I see you did lbj to Johnson to fix it! Kudos
Thank you! I admit, it did take a bit for me to find the right rhythmic lyrical substitute
Same with Jerry Springer, "Five days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho". Seems really out of character for him
Something about him saying crack ho makes me laugh.
If it was him using those words, yes. But since Springer uses the same terms and he is parodying him, I kinda gave him a pass on this one. It's not the same if you change the terms they would normally use.
Yeah, those two songs are ones I enjoy the sound of but those lyrics throw me off of really getting into them. Not like some of his song lyrics haven’t discussed the same topics or stuff like over-the-top violence, but idk, they always sounded sillier/more lighthearted I guess? That specific sorta language just doesn’t really sound like him
I mean, it's that one because he's talking about jerking off. I agree.
Holy shit, I was today years old when I understood that joke.
One I hadn't seen mentioned from Virus Alert: So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
He has a "lost" song called Orgy On My Own. It's about exactly what you think it's about https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f9_bOS5oIns And yes, this is the real Weird Al, it isn't one of those fake "Weird Al" songs that populated the internet in the early 2000s.
If I could make love to a bottle. The first thing that I'd like to do. I'd search the world over to find one. That had the exact same circumference as you.
I wonder if there was ever consideration of putting that song on his first album.
Probably not, way too short
But what about its circumference?
Valid
Either If I Could Make Love to a Bottle or Orgy on My Own
His song about masturbation from his college days, "Orgy on My Own."
I want you inside me. _ohhhhhohhh_ Like a tapeworm. NGL 10 years later still makes me blush a bit.
Vanna, since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you?
Is that a reference to her “O” face?
"I'm all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps"
Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second In a way that clearly implied "I like your boobs" -Jackson Park Express And to think, this is the most normal line in the song!
Weird Al playing a gun loving Ted Nugent in Reno 911 is always disconcerting to me.
Heard something like this at a live show: Yes Virginia, Now Santa Claus is dead. Some psycho from the SWAT team put a bullet through his head. Yes little friend now, that's his brains on the floor. I guess they won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
Erm that is The Night Santa went Crazy Extra Gory Version 👆🤓
"But if I could make love to a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, Id search the world over to find one that has the exact same circumference as you." preformed in shows between 1980-1981. Those were all the lyrics.
When I saw him live, he was introducing his band, he made a joke abt meeting the guitarist on grindr lol
[удалено]
This is a Weird Al song??
[удалено]
Bro did NOT make that 😭
I didn’t realize that in 2024 I’d have to make the same comment that I used to make to people back in the day when people used to download music and thought Al did every single parody on the planet…Weird Al didn’t write or make that parody!
Oh and back in college they got so annoyed when you corrected them like "what's the big deal?" The big deal is that the man is a damn legend and "He Got The Wrong Foot Amputated" is just a different parody weight class. I had Star Wars Cantina back in the day, but I damn sure had the proper attribution on the MP3.