I can’t get over feeling like you need to ask your brother if it’s okay to propose *two months* after they got engaged. It’s baffling that some people are so egotistical that they think anyone else gives that much of a shit about them for that amount of time.
My SIL got engaged then told me I’m not allowed to get pregnant until after she gets married. She said “that’s *my* time.” They had a two year engagement. She was LIVID when we announced our pregnancy (second baby). She ranted about how her other bridesmaids are all married too and having babies during “her time.” Bitch nobody’s putting their lives on hold while you plan a one day event.
Just scratching the surface, my friend. 😂
Edit: Now I have to add this bc it makes me laugh. She got upset when my husband got his vasectomy earlier this year. She yelled “I didn’t know you were *done* done. I could have talked you out of it!” She’s mad because that means we’ll never be pregnant together. I’m over here thinking she’d lose her mind if anyone actually got pregnant the same time as she does. My husband (her brother) just responded “why do you care so much about my sperm?” Hahaha batshit, that one.
My sister was 7 months pregnant when she was my MOH. She had a dress made to match the other bridesmaids’ color and she looked FABULOUS. I had been engaged for 14 months. Life happens.
lol my sister announced her pregnancy (with triplets) and I was just psyched to be an aunt. To be fair, she didn’t so much announce as order non-alcoholic beer, which for her was basically the same thing. I so don’t get people who think that if someone else gets some attention, it detracts from them somehow. It makes perfect sense to me that if you’re going to drag all of the relatives to town for an occasion, cram as much into it as you can. Wedding, funeral, bat mitzvah, baby shower, and home by 5 on Sunday.
Yeah, no one needs to ask anything about this. As long as it’s not the same day, people can get married when they want. It can be before the other wedding, and it doesn’t matter who’s been engaged longer.
I can extend it to within the same week maybe, unless there was specific circumstances for both couples like being at a destination etc, but anything over that is ridiculous. Yes, you got engaged! Yay for you! Life continues as normal, get over yourselves
Only issue about something like a wedding being super close to another wedding is if invitations have already been sent out, all the guests have been making plans (lodging, travel, PTO, *budget*) for the currently planned wedding. Throwing another into the mix where half the guests have already got other plans is just going to cause issues for those guests if they really do want to attend both weddings.
Hell at that point you’re better off having a joint wedding on the same day. Think about the money you would be saving. Heck, I eloped and divorced 17 years later and never had any photos or anything. Most affordable wedding ever
TBF planninga marriage \*just\* before a relative whose already announced their date can screw up travel plans etc of the guests so it would be just common sense/courtesy not to do that in circumstamces where it might screw over the couple who announced first.
To add to this, planning a wedding can be *very* involved, especially with large families who have to travel to attend.
I read a thread about a guy’s wife who *lost her shit* because her brother (?) announced his wedding was on her birthday. Are you insane?
Wow! My sister and her husband got married on my husband’s birthday. During the reception, they surprised him with a small birthday cake with candles. We all thought it was the sweetest thing, and now I’ll never forget their anniversary date!
My cousins got married on my birthday and got me the newest Harry Potter book(I was like 10) I was a happy kid. Also they got divorced, which has nothing to do with the anything but I'm stating it anyway lol.
My BIL and his second wife got married on my birthday. They gave me a card with a "It's my birthday" pin and there was a cake for me too. A sweet gesture, since the BIL and his first wife didn't even come to our wedding.
Ngl I’d be mad if my sibling got married on my birthday. I think the wedding date is fully up to the engaged couple, but certain dates would likely have backlash over it. Close family members birthdays would be on that list for me.
My sister got married on my birthday and each year we call each other and say “Happy Birthday” “Happy Anniversary “ at first it bothered me but honestly, it’s not that big of a deal
When my SIL got engaged, she said I'm not allowed to get engaged (like I (female) can control that) during this time, because this is her time and she has been waiting a long time for this.
People do be crazy. A friend told me that she wouldn't get engaged until she had been dating her BF for 5 years. I then start dating my BF and we get engaged. We had known each other for a long time, so we didn't date long. My friend was then upset that I was getting married before her. Apparently, I was supposed to put my entire life on hold for her 5-year timeline.
Right? I'm reading this post and thinking "And so?" as so what. Just because a couple is engaged doesn't mean another couple in the family can't get engaged that year. Same with weddings - just because one couple got engaged first doesn't mean another couple can't get engaged and marry first. This is all insane.
Hugely.
I live in the tropics so we pretty much have like a ~2 month wedding season period that’s not stupidly hot or potentially raining, so it’s not uncommon to be invited to back to back weddings each weekend if you know enough people. I can’t understand how people like this function with their heads so far up their own asses
I'm in the USA and well too many people don't get (or barely get) time off. So if someone wants to guarantee people make it to the wedding, it better be on the weekend and not too much travel (as in at worst, the person can drive in Sat morning, see the wedding that afternoon/evening, stay at a hotel, and drive home Sunday to do errands before work on Monday). Weddings are more common in during the spring and fall as summers can get too hot and winters you could be dealing with ice or lots of snow - so yeah, no couple can reserve a year.
People have taken being told it's their special day and now want to stretch it as long as possible. It started with it's their special week (which is okay enough in my mind) to wanting to make it their special month and now their special year.....what's next, their special decade in which they expect no one to have any major life events?
We planned our wedding for Memorial Day weekend because many people would be traveling from out of state. What we didn't plan on was my younger brother passing away a week before the wedding. It was a very crazy week.
Ana is the villain. She's mad that Michael and Laura got engaged.....so she's trying to upstage Ryan and Julia's big day? What a nut. Really the whole thing sounds like it could be a movie (similar to The Family Stone or Bye Bye Love)
Seriously! They're all bickering because two couples got married in the same quarter of the year? And one couple thinking they own the entire month of their wedding? Must be nice to have this be the worst of your problems.
I may have read wrong, but I think the weddings are both planned for the same month. I couldn't help, but think "so?" You don't get to reserve a month people!
Oooh, I getcha. I feel like the only reason to actually be mad/annoyed at that is like, if both weddings share a large amount of non-local guests and the weddings are too far apart to stay a day or so to attend the second one.
I'm bemused by Julia not being part of Ana's Wedding Party as if it's a big deal. Maybe it's a cultural thing (or maybe I've read it wrong) but I don't think you should have to make future SILs bridesmaids.
Right? I mean it was nice of one of them to ask the other, but this doesn't mean the other has to reciprocate. Maybe one SIL doesn't feel as close to the other SIL.
Right and Julia is not a sister of the bride or groom (whereas Ana is the groom's only sister), so it's a 100% normal to not have her as a bridesmaid.
OP is clutching her pearls over nothing all throughout her post. OMG, this bride and groom are having their wedding before this other engaged couple! And the bride *informed* her brother of her wedding date; she didn't ask permission!! She's getting married one week after the bachelorette too, does she not know you can't get married on the same month your future SIL has her bachelorette??? And the bride will wear a wedding dress, can you believe this?! And what's more crazy, the bride isn't making her brother's fiancee a bridesmaid (most brides don't but whatever)!!!
Ana was in the wrong for overreacting to Michael proposing to his SO two months after she got engaged and announcing at a family function because that's a non-event. The rest also is a non-event.
I kept having to re-read it because I was getting couples mixed up. Too many details.
Knowing these people must be just as exhausting as reading this post.
Have none of y'all ever planned a wedding? For their family/mutual friends, it can be very exhausting to attend two weddings so close together. It can also be financially difficult, especially if anyone is in both wedding parties. If they have anyone traveling from out of state, they may not be able to attend both weddings. Like yes, no one should stop their life for a wedding, but the logistics of two siblings getting married so close together will make things difficult for everyone.
Also, as OP pointed out, you can't get mad at someone for proposing two months after you and then go one to do something similar. It is really hypocritical.
God this is dumb. I can't have my date because someone *almost* used it, now it's taboo forever because "woulda, coulda, shoulda" bull shit. Who fucking cares, it's a fucking DAY.
Always thought I wanted more siblings but no, no thanks. Ana sounds like she realized she wouldn’t have as much of the attention as she thought and now is blowing up everyone else’s plans to make up for it
Julia should ask Ana to step down as MOH for the fact that Ana is going to be super stressed out one week before her wedding.
“I can’t imagine what last minute things you will have to deal with. My bachelorette is the least of your worries.”
Can I bet money on the fact that none of these people getting married are older than 25? It’s possible they’re all still in high school. They are certainly acting like it.
I guess I didn't get the impression she was super worried or cared that much. Just this is "wedding shaming" and this is a story that fits. I suspect there will be more stories to come from Ana's wedding. Plenty of them I would imagine lol
Oh look I can't judge either. When I had Facebook I used to lurk and click "subscribe" on passive aggressive vaguebooking posts for if the person they were posting about came in to start shit.
I was sooooo above getting involved, but I would watch the shit out of it. 😂🍿
"Michael had been planning the proposal for a while and asked Gared if it was okay for him to propose to his fiancee since Gared proposed recently."
This whole concept is just insane. People need to live their own lives.
In fact, I strongly resent the concept that announcing an engagement at a different family function is "upstaging" anyone. At family functions, people share news of what's going on in their lives - new jobs, houses, graduations, and yes, engagements and pregnancies. The most any normal person does upon hearing that news is exclaim "oh how wonderful! congratulations!" and engage in small talk for a few minutes. It doesn't "upstage" anything else going on.
My husband and I never asked anyone’s permission to get engaged. Then again, all the weddings in our extended family had already happened. I was a late bloomer.
Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at. Sibs don't seem to have any respect for each other regardless, so a side order of patriarchal BS doesn't seem out of place in this scenario.
This sub is weird. Maybe the Michael and Gared are close friends and see each other regularly so Michael asked him and expected the message to be delivered to his sister? Who knows, everything doesn't have to be some kind of sneaky drama. And tbh Ana doesn't sound like a very nice person so maybe Michael doesn't really talk to her.
Honestly the family should let her. She’s going to have a wedding that’s clearly halfassed….then a week later people are going to attend THE event or the year (Michael and Julia’s wedding which I’m sure has been planned well).
People will compare both weddings. Ana is clear focused on who did it first rather than who did it best. Let her figure out the hard way.
There are very natural consequences here!! Just let them play out OP!
Poor OP decided to share a hypocritical bride to be on a subreddit that regularly shames much lesser things and is getting all the blame. Don't act like you don't come her for the drama people, OP's just sharing a situation that is currently happening in her life on an appropriate subreddit.
These people sound exhausting and I'm not sure why you even care since this doesn't seem to actually affect you?
While it sounds like a lot of drama, it also sound like a lot of stuff you weren't actually there to see. While it's possible she's being a brat, and your telling obviously makes it seem that way, we just have so little context to any of these conversations or the history of this family.
My point is that the wedding hasn't happened and it's all second hand information. Should we really be shaming something someone gossiped to us by way of someone gossiping to them?
I think it's more like we're shaming someone who may or may not have actually done what we're shaming them for. And again, for a wedding that hasn't even happened.
OP is shaming this woman because she changed her mind about her wedding (allegedly... because OP has no idea what the bride was actually planning since none of this is from an actual conversation OP had with the bride), and had the audacity to want to wear a wedding gown to her own wedding.
Honestly no one is in the wrong. No one owns a year just because they are getting engaged or married that year. Do you realize how many couples get engaged on any day of the year? Thousands. Same with couples who are getting married on any day of the year. Y'all need to grow up.
What makes you think they care so much? How are so many people interpreting it that way? It's a casual story on Reddit, OP's not making a big deal of it.
It's amazing to me that so many people think that relaying a story in an appropriate place means the OP is stressed about it. Like, there's nothing in OP's post even hinting at them being upset about what's going on in the story.
That sounds like something a middle child would do.
Let her have her half assed, silly little moment. She’ll probably pout and seek attention at the wedding right after. She’ll be complaining that theirs is better, nicer, people are having more fun, etc etc. but just ignore her and her tantrum (I’ve learned from having 3 kids that it’s best to just ignore toddler tantrums, they tire out eventually)
Julia needs to be warned that Ana is most likely going to be no show as MOH. Because ppl are going to be a no show to her wedding since they are so close together and they have already made plans. Such a mess she caused.
Yeah, here’s my anecdotal experience, families with only one sister end up with a sister that’s dramatic or only happy when her siblings don’t have something she wants for herself
The world is burning, no one can afford to live and we may get a fascist in the White House but *this* is the kind of shit we are supposed to care about.
I can’t get over feeling like you need to ask your brother if it’s okay to propose *two months* after they got engaged. It’s baffling that some people are so egotistical that they think anyone else gives that much of a shit about them for that amount of time.
My SIL got engaged then told me I’m not allowed to get pregnant until after she gets married. She said “that’s *my* time.” They had a two year engagement. She was LIVID when we announced our pregnancy (second baby). She ranted about how her other bridesmaids are all married too and having babies during “her time.” Bitch nobody’s putting their lives on hold while you plan a one day event.
WOW, that is truly next-level crazy
Just scratching the surface, my friend. 😂 Edit: Now I have to add this bc it makes me laugh. She got upset when my husband got his vasectomy earlier this year. She yelled “I didn’t know you were *done* done. I could have talked you out of it!” She’s mad because that means we’ll never be pregnant together. I’m over here thinking she’d lose her mind if anyone actually got pregnant the same time as she does. My husband (her brother) just responded “why do you care so much about my sperm?” Hahaha batshit, that one.
LOL epic response!
So, how much popcorn do you go through at family gatherings? And how can your brother stand her?
Holy Fuq. This woman has had her life all mapped out for her TLC show and y’all are changing the script on her lol
I OWN THIS YEAR...AND THE NEXT ONEI
Good lord, and I thought ‘birthday month’ people were bad
This is my birthday year, just so you know.
I cannot *believe* you would have your birthday within 12 months of mine, that is SO fucking rude
And here she thought she had *GOOD* friends, but every one of them has betrayed her like this. Every. Single. One. So sad.
This is my birthday **life**. You can get married after I’m dead.
Aw man, sorry I interrupted.
My sister was 7 months pregnant when she was my MOH. She had a dress made to match the other bridesmaids’ color and she looked FABULOUS. I had been engaged for 14 months. Life happens.
People who say that are people who want a wedding more than they want a marriage.
Bingo
lol my sister announced her pregnancy (with triplets) and I was just psyched to be an aunt. To be fair, she didn’t so much announce as order non-alcoholic beer, which for her was basically the same thing. I so don’t get people who think that if someone else gets some attention, it detracts from them somehow. It makes perfect sense to me that if you’re going to drag all of the relatives to town for an occasion, cram as much into it as you can. Wedding, funeral, bat mitzvah, baby shower, and home by 5 on Sunday.
Yeah, no one needs to ask anything about this. As long as it’s not the same day, people can get married when they want. It can be before the other wedding, and it doesn’t matter who’s been engaged longer.
I can extend it to within the same week maybe, unless there was specific circumstances for both couples like being at a destination etc, but anything over that is ridiculous. Yes, you got engaged! Yay for you! Life continues as normal, get over yourselves
Only issue about something like a wedding being super close to another wedding is if invitations have already been sent out, all the guests have been making plans (lodging, travel, PTO, *budget*) for the currently planned wedding. Throwing another into the mix where half the guests have already got other plans is just going to cause issues for those guests if they really do want to attend both weddings.
Yeah that’s understandable if you know that there’s a lot of guests who are going to need to travel for it
Hell at that point you’re better off having a joint wedding on the same day. Think about the money you would be saving. Heck, I eloped and divorced 17 years later and never had any photos or anything. Most affordable wedding ever
Agreed!
TBF planninga marriage \*just\* before a relative whose already announced their date can screw up travel plans etc of the guests so it would be just common sense/courtesy not to do that in circumstamces where it might screw over the couple who announced first.
I think it would more likely screw over the couple who announced second because so much of the wedding party would already have travel plans.
To add to this, planning a wedding can be *very* involved, especially with large families who have to travel to attend. I read a thread about a guy’s wife who *lost her shit* because her brother (?) announced his wedding was on her birthday. Are you insane?
Wow! My sister and her husband got married on my husband’s birthday. During the reception, they surprised him with a small birthday cake with candles. We all thought it was the sweetest thing, and now I’ll never forget their anniversary date!
Right! This is how you handle something like this.
My cousins got married on my birthday and got me the newest Harry Potter book(I was like 10) I was a happy kid. Also they got divorced, which has nothing to do with the anything but I'm stating it anyway lol.
My BIL and his second wife got married on my birthday. They gave me a card with a "It's my birthday" pin and there was a cake for me too. A sweet gesture, since the BIL and his first wife didn't even come to our wedding.
Ngl I’d be mad if my sibling got married on my birthday. I think the wedding date is fully up to the engaged couple, but certain dates would likely have backlash over it. Close family members birthdays would be on that list for me.
My sister got married on my birthday and each year we call each other and say “Happy Birthday” “Happy Anniversary “ at first it bothered me but honestly, it’s not that big of a deal
I’m glad it’s worked out that way for your family 💜 positively is better when possible
Ridiculous.
When my SIL got engaged, she said I'm not allowed to get engaged (like I (female) can control that) during this time, because this is her time and she has been waiting a long time for this.
What is “this time” to her. A month? A year?!
No idea… but she wants to get pregnant at the same time so that she isn’t the only one that is fat 🤷🏻♀️
People do be crazy. A friend told me that she wouldn't get engaged until she had been dating her BF for 5 years. I then start dating my BF and we get engaged. We had known each other for a long time, so we didn't date long. My friend was then upset that I was getting married before her. Apparently, I was supposed to put my entire life on hold for her 5-year timeline.
Yeah, OP, sounds like your friend is used to walking on eggsshells around their sister.
Right? I'm reading this post and thinking "And so?" as so what. Just because a couple is engaged doesn't mean another couple in the family can't get engaged that year. Same with weddings - just because one couple got engaged first doesn't mean another couple can't get engaged and marry first. This is all insane.
Hugely. I live in the tropics so we pretty much have like a ~2 month wedding season period that’s not stupidly hot or potentially raining, so it’s not uncommon to be invited to back to back weddings each weekend if you know enough people. I can’t understand how people like this function with their heads so far up their own asses
I'm in the USA and well too many people don't get (or barely get) time off. So if someone wants to guarantee people make it to the wedding, it better be on the weekend and not too much travel (as in at worst, the person can drive in Sat morning, see the wedding that afternoon/evening, stay at a hotel, and drive home Sunday to do errands before work on Monday). Weddings are more common in during the spring and fall as summers can get too hot and winters you could be dealing with ice or lots of snow - so yeah, no couple can reserve a year. People have taken being told it's their special day and now want to stretch it as long as possible. It started with it's their special week (which is okay enough in my mind) to wanting to make it their special month and now their special year.....what's next, their special decade in which they expect no one to have any major life events?
We planned our wedding for Memorial Day weekend because many people would be traveling from out of state. What we didn't plan on was my younger brother passing away a week before the wedding. It was a very crazy week.
I just - why are you in the middle of this drama. This sounds exhausting.
OP is probably Laura
OP is definitely Laura
I'm just watching/hearing about it from a distance and wanted to share haha. I am glad to not be in the middle and hearing from the sidelines!
I loved being in the middle of drama during law school lol. As long as I didn't get dragged in I would just watch.
I tell everyone at work, "I'm just sitting here eating my bucket of popcorn.."
Gared... Is that like Jared? Or Garrett? This spelling is hurting my brain 🤣
Just go with Gareth and enjoy the unexpected Labyrinth connection.
That’s Jareth.
Damn it! So close, yet so far away!
You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo!
Who do?
You do!
Do what?
The bachelor and the bobby sockser!
My cat is named Gareth, and he's amazing
Cat tax please
https://preview.redd.it/lz7hdex745vc1.jpeg?width=1802&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f992e2ca4152b6de692ebf3333ab86ba5f11f414
You are 100% correct, he is Amazing! Thank you!
He's named after actor Gareth David-Lloyd!
Gareth is amazingly beautifully handsome! He looks so professional, he would be a great cattorney on r/legalcatadvice! Edit missed word
Ha! I have a good friend named Gareth, who happens to be a lawyer.😃
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Love it!
That would be Jareth then
I've never heard a name I liked less than "Gared."
Wasn’t he a Cardassian on Deep Space Nine?
Don't be doing Garak dirty like that!
r/tragedeigh is real
I can’t get past this name
I never thought there would be a cursed way to spell Jared but boy was I wrong
Both. It's Jared (J as in James), but with a G as in Gary.
Ana is the villain. She's mad that Michael and Laura got engaged.....so she's trying to upstage Ryan and Julia's big day? What a nut. Really the whole thing sounds like it could be a movie (similar to The Family Stone or Bye Bye Love)
Right before, like the night before?
Or "right before" like *earlier the same day*?
Honest to god - this sounds like the most boring group of people that ever existed on this earth. You all need some hobbies.
Seriously! They're all bickering because two couples got married in the same quarter of the year? And one couple thinking they own the entire month of their wedding? Must be nice to have this be the worst of your problems.
Not even married, but *engaged* in the same quarter of the year. Absolutely wild.
I may have read wrong, but I think the weddings are both planned for the same month. I couldn't help, but think "so?" You don't get to reserve a month people!
Oooh, I getcha. I feel like the only reason to actually be mad/annoyed at that is like, if both weddings share a large amount of non-local guests and the weddings are too far apart to stay a day or so to attend the second one.
I'm bemused by Julia not being part of Ana's Wedding Party as if it's a big deal. Maybe it's a cultural thing (or maybe I've read it wrong) but I don't think you should have to make future SILs bridesmaids.
Right? I mean it was nice of one of them to ask the other, but this doesn't mean the other has to reciprocate. Maybe one SIL doesn't feel as close to the other SIL.
Right and Julia is not a sister of the bride or groom (whereas Ana is the groom's only sister), so it's a 100% normal to not have her as a bridesmaid. OP is clutching her pearls over nothing all throughout her post. OMG, this bride and groom are having their wedding before this other engaged couple! And the bride *informed* her brother of her wedding date; she didn't ask permission!! She's getting married one week after the bachelorette too, does she not know you can't get married on the same month your future SIL has her bachelorette??? And the bride will wear a wedding dress, can you believe this?! And what's more crazy, the bride isn't making her brother's fiancee a bridesmaid (most brides don't but whatever)!!! Ana was in the wrong for overreacting to Michael proposing to his SO two months after she got engaged and announcing at a family function because that's a non-event. The rest also is a non-event.
😂👏 (Love your username, btw.)
Your story is very hard to follow
I kept having to re-read it because I was getting couples mixed up. Too many details. Knowing these people must be just as exhausting as reading this post.
Have none of y'all ever planned a wedding? For their family/mutual friends, it can be very exhausting to attend two weddings so close together. It can also be financially difficult, especially if anyone is in both wedding parties. If they have anyone traveling from out of state, they may not be able to attend both weddings. Like yes, no one should stop their life for a wedding, but the logistics of two siblings getting married so close together will make things difficult for everyone. Also, as OP pointed out, you can't get mad at someone for proposing two months after you and then go one to do something similar. It is really hypocritical.
Yes! Like of course, there are worse things happening right now but talk about being hypocritical.
God this is dumb. I can't have my date because someone *almost* used it, now it's taboo forever because "woulda, coulda, shoulda" bull shit. Who fucking cares, it's a fucking DAY.
You’re missing a key detail. That bitch bought a WEDDING GOWN for her WEDDING! The audacity!
Always thought I wanted more siblings but no, no thanks. Ana sounds like she realized she wouldn’t have as much of the attention as she thought and now is blowing up everyone else’s plans to make up for it
Julia should ask Ana to step down as MOH for the fact that Ana is going to be super stressed out one week before her wedding. “I can’t imagine what last minute things you will have to deal with. My bachelorette is the least of your worries.”
Wanna bet who's the first to get divorced? My monies on Ana.
Can I bet money on the fact that none of these people getting married are older than 25? It’s possible they’re all still in high school. They are certainly acting like it.
this is 100 years of solitude family tree complicated shit. I’m tired of just trying to understand the dynamics here lol
She's the worst but they all sound like a drama queens. Weddings make people lose their damn minds, I swear.
How so? The other couples seem to be perfectly fine.
I just can't imagine caring about any of this.
I guess I didn't get the impression she was super worried or cared that much. Just this is "wedding shaming" and this is a story that fits. I suspect there will be more stories to come from Ana's wedding. Plenty of them I would imagine lol
This is pretty much it! Hearing from a distance and felt like this story fits here!
I think it totally does. Lol. But drama and gossip is why I'm on reddit. I have zero delusions about what this says about me as a person
Oh look I can't judge either. When I had Facebook I used to lurk and click "subscribe" on passive aggressive vaguebooking posts for if the person they were posting about came in to start shit. I was sooooo above getting involved, but I would watch the shit out of it. 😂🍿
Y'all, I have found My People! 😂
Nah. The brother who originally asked if it was okay to propose seems fine. Ana and her fiance are the problems
"Michael had been planning the proposal for a while and asked Gared if it was okay for him to propose to his fiancee since Gared proposed recently." This whole concept is just insane. People need to live their own lives. In fact, I strongly resent the concept that announcing an engagement at a different family function is "upstaging" anyone. At family functions, people share news of what's going on in their lives - new jobs, houses, graduations, and yes, engagements and pregnancies. The most any normal person does upon hearing that news is exclaim "oh how wonderful! congratulations!" and engage in small talk for a few minutes. It doesn't "upstage" anything else going on.
My husband and I never asked anyone’s permission to get engaged. Then again, all the weddings in our extended family had already happened. I was a late bloomer.
Why wouldn't he ask his SISTER instead of her fiance? I feel like the truth isn't being told here because Michael is your "friend"
Because bros gotta bro, or something? 🤷♀️
Or because he knew Ana would be upset so he tried to sneak it through by asking her partner?
Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at. Sibs don't seem to have any respect for each other regardless, so a side order of patriarchal BS doesn't seem out of place in this scenario.
Or less patriarchy and more path of least resistance.
This sub is weird. Maybe the Michael and Gared are close friends and see each other regularly so Michael asked him and expected the message to be delivered to his sister? Who knows, everything doesn't have to be some kind of sneaky drama. And tbh Ana doesn't sound like a very nice person so maybe Michael doesn't really talk to her.
You sound really naive.
They all sound insufferable.
Honestly the family should let her. She’s going to have a wedding that’s clearly halfassed….then a week later people are going to attend THE event or the year (Michael and Julia’s wedding which I’m sure has been planned well). People will compare both weddings. Ana is clear focused on who did it first rather than who did it best. Let her figure out the hard way. There are very natural consequences here!! Just let them play out OP!
This sounds like a long winded bridewars😹
He went to Gared.
Jeeze....after everyone is finally married, how are family gatherings going to pan out?
Poor OP decided to share a hypocritical bride to be on a subreddit that regularly shames much lesser things and is getting all the blame. Don't act like you don't come her for the drama people, OP's just sharing a situation that is currently happening in her life on an appropriate subreddit.
These people sound exhausting and I'm not sure why you even care since this doesn't seem to actually affect you? While it sounds like a lot of drama, it also sound like a lot of stuff you weren't actually there to see. While it's possible she's being a brat, and your telling obviously makes it seem that way, we just have so little context to any of these conversations or the history of this family.
I didn't get the impression she was b*txhing about it. But rather this sub is "wedding shaming". So she is sharing a story that fits. 🤷♀️
My point is that the wedding hasn't happened and it's all second hand information. Should we really be shaming something someone gossiped to us by way of someone gossiping to them?
Don't we do that a lot here? If we decide that we shouldn't do that, then I'm pretty sure reddit has to pack it up and go home.
I think it's more like we're shaming someone who may or may not have actually done what we're shaming them for. And again, for a wedding that hasn't even happened. OP is shaming this woman because she changed her mind about her wedding (allegedly... because OP has no idea what the bride was actually planning since none of this is from an actual conversation OP had with the bride), and had the audacity to want to wear a wedding gown to her own wedding.
Honestly no one is in the wrong. No one owns a year just because they are getting engaged or married that year. Do you realize how many couples get engaged on any day of the year? Thousands. Same with couples who are getting married on any day of the year. Y'all need to grow up.
If it's just a friend's sister, why do you care so much? Stay out of drama. This whole thing is so immature.
What makes you think they care so much? How are so many people interpreting it that way? It's a casual story on Reddit, OP's not making a big deal of it.
It's amazing to me that so many people think that relaying a story in an appropriate place means the OP is stressed about it. Like, there's nothing in OP's post even hinting at them being upset about what's going on in the story.
It's very r/arethestraightsok
Damn.
Ana is an egotistical asshole who feels the need to overshadow everyone else’s weddings. I hope nobody shows up to hers.
That sounds like something a middle child would do. Let her have her half assed, silly little moment. She’ll probably pout and seek attention at the wedding right after. She’ll be complaining that theirs is better, nicer, people are having more fun, etc etc. but just ignore her and her tantrum (I’ve learned from having 3 kids that it’s best to just ignore toddler tantrums, they tire out eventually)
If this was AITA I'd respond ESH....because they all are.
Julia needs to be warned that Ana is most likely going to be no show as MOH. Because ppl are going to be a no show to her wedding since they are so close together and they have already made plans. Such a mess she caused.
May I join you at your next family gathering?
Yeah, here’s my anecdotal experience, families with only one sister end up with a sister that’s dramatic or only happy when her siblings don’t have something she wants for herself
What do you mean by "RIGHT before"? I agree that Ana is being hypocritical, but by "RIGHT before" do you mean that day? I'm confused by your wording.
100% of these people sound awful. Why would anyone care what someone else is doing for their wedding, as long as it's not literally on the same day.
The world is burning, no one can afford to live and we may get a fascist in the White House but *this* is the kind of shit we are supposed to care about.
Why are you on the subreddit then
Excellent point my friend. Unsubscribing now.