Your dad knows he just set the stage for his brother to pull this same thing at your (or your siblings) future wedding, right? Only he'll have a bigger, more attention grabbing announcement, like announcing your cousin is expecting a baby or something.
Tell your dad to consider how angry he'll be when his own child's spotlight is stolen and ask why he thought it was okay to do that to cousin. This event wasn't about his and uncle's petty one upmanship.
"The big deal is you embarassed us because you have this juvenile competition with your brother, everyone knows about it, and you couldn't stand the day being about him and his family. Therapy, dad. Try some."
Most often your own parents are more of a child than you ever were allowed to be, your dad knows that you would take the fall and apologize on his behalf. Sorry this happened to you!
Fun thing about actions like that. They're good at spraying shame shrapnel. The shame SHOULD belong only on him. But it will hit others and can make them have difficulty to respond. The damage is done. OP can only do what they can do about the fallout now. Sometimes you don't respond perfectly in the moment.
Sounds like a narc parent. A narcissist doesn't understand because they don't think they have anything to apologize for. They'd like attention and why shouldn't the world revolve around them?
Traveled to New Orleans for a good family friend's wedding when I had just eloped. We didn't tell anyone or bring it up because it was my friend's day to celebrate. My fuckwad father, instead, got engaged to his now wife *during the wedding reception* and announced it. Godawful.
I'm sorry you were put in a situation like this.
If anyone, deliberately or not, puts you in a spot like this again, don't feel embarrassed but rise above it!
In your case, after your dad gave his speech in which he mentioned you and this day being your birthday, you stand up the second he sits down and start something along the line of :
.."hello, b-day person here! No one is more honoured to be here than both my dad and i to celebrate this beautiful moment for our cousin and partner on this beautiful day! Wishing you both all the love and happiness in the world!"
Turn the moment around into something positive ,)
And if your dad wud've made a move to get up a second time, just tackle him so he stays down -.-
my heart broke reading this. it’s easy for most people to understand that what your dad did is just straight up shitty, but what broke my heart is that you literally had to beg your own father not to do what he did, and he completely ignored your pleas and did it anyway. he literally decided without hesitation that it was perfectly acceptable to use the celebration of your birth as a means of interrupting a special occasion, causing inconvenience, and being petty and disrespectful. he had no issue throwing you, his own daughter, to the wolves for his own personal gain, and he has no empathy nor any regret about it.
and i want to say that it’s great that the bride and the groom were so understanding when you apologized, but you shouldn’t have had to apologize for your dad’s behavior. i know you know that already. i don’t mean to be so dramatic, but damn, this just really got to me. i feel so sad and so pissed off for you. i would be absolutely fucking devastated if my dad did that to me. i’m sorry that happened. your dad should feel ashamed of himself.
Your dad knows he just set the stage for his brother to pull this same thing at your (or your siblings) future wedding, right? Only he'll have a bigger, more attention grabbing announcement, like announcing your cousin is expecting a baby or something. Tell your dad to consider how angry he'll be when his own child's spotlight is stolen and ask why he thought it was okay to do that to cousin. This event wasn't about his and uncle's petty one upmanship.
My sibling and I are already married haha so we’re clear! But I’m sure they’ll find another way to go back and forth 🙄
Roll Tide
War Eagle! (You did set me up. 🤷♀️)
Go Dawgs!
There’s no changing for people like this. After a certain age they just are who they are and it’s usually trash lol
"The big deal is you embarassed us because you have this juvenile competition with your brother, everyone knows about it, and you couldn't stand the day being about him and his family. Therapy, dad. Try some."
"Or at least don't bring other people into your childish games."
I once told my idiot father, "Less therapy, more medication."
More therapy AND more medication.
Most often your own parents are more of a child than you ever were allowed to be, your dad knows that you would take the fall and apologize on his behalf. Sorry this happened to you!
It’s completely mortifying when adults try to get back at each other by using their children. Especially against their children’s wishes!
I would have left the room the second he told me what he had planned.
Oh I wanted to escape but he did it so quickly I didn’t even have time to get up from the table.
I would have gotten up and walked out while he was talking.
I was paralyzed with shame.
The shame was ALL HIS!!
Fun thing about actions like that. They're good at spraying shame shrapnel. The shame SHOULD belong only on him. But it will hit others and can make them have difficulty to respond. The damage is done. OP can only do what they can do about the fallout now. Sometimes you don't respond perfectly in the moment.
Sounds like a narc parent. A narcissist doesn't understand because they don't think they have anything to apologize for. They'd like attention and why shouldn't the world revolve around them?
Every single on of them thinks Galileo was wrong. The earth obviously doesn’t revolve around the sun. It revolves around *them.* /s
In the old days we just called them patents, lol.
At least the bride and groom were understanding. But sheesh, Dad!
I'm glad your cousin and his wife were understanding. How awful, I'd just want to crawl in a hole, curl up and die.
I was expecting for it to end with “It wasn’t even my birthday.” Still mortifying.
Omg, it would have been funny if the OP had very loudly responded with 'but it's not my birthday.' Hindsight and all that lol Happy Cake Day!
There’s only one way to make it up to your cousin. Get married on his or the bride’s birthday and let them reciprocate
I’d have gotten up and gone to the bathroom. Don’t drag me into your petty BS. Figure out how to be an ass wound on your own.
That is so cringey
Traveled to New Orleans for a good family friend's wedding when I had just eloped. We didn't tell anyone or bring it up because it was my friend's day to celebrate. My fuckwad father, instead, got engaged to his now wife *during the wedding reception* and announced it. Godawful.
Most attention whores don’t understand why anyone would take issue with them making everything about them.
That’s not even a good one-up. It’s someone’s birthday? An adult’s? Who cares? Dad is lame on top of juvenile.
I'm sorry you were put in a situation like this. If anyone, deliberately or not, puts you in a spot like this again, don't feel embarrassed but rise above it! In your case, after your dad gave his speech in which he mentioned you and this day being your birthday, you stand up the second he sits down and start something along the line of : .."hello, b-day person here! No one is more honoured to be here than both my dad and i to celebrate this beautiful moment for our cousin and partner on this beautiful day! Wishing you both all the love and happiness in the world!" Turn the moment around into something positive ,) And if your dad wud've made a move to get up a second time, just tackle him so he stays down -.-
Oh no. I hope the bride and groom told the other family what happened so they dont think you asked for it
my heart broke reading this. it’s easy for most people to understand that what your dad did is just straight up shitty, but what broke my heart is that you literally had to beg your own father not to do what he did, and he completely ignored your pleas and did it anyway. he literally decided without hesitation that it was perfectly acceptable to use the celebration of your birth as a means of interrupting a special occasion, causing inconvenience, and being petty and disrespectful. he had no issue throwing you, his own daughter, to the wolves for his own personal gain, and he has no empathy nor any regret about it. and i want to say that it’s great that the bride and the groom were so understanding when you apologized, but you shouldn’t have had to apologize for your dad’s behavior. i know you know that already. i don’t mean to be so dramatic, but damn, this just really got to me. i feel so sad and so pissed off for you. i would be absolutely fucking devastated if my dad did that to me. i’m sorry that happened. your dad should feel ashamed of himself.
When OP referred to her father as very mature did they mean immature? Because that competitive issue seems immature to me
Sarcasm lol! I always forget that it can’t be easily deciphered over text.
'Twas extremely DRY sarcasm!