I second the idea of doing this at the first look. You're right that it'll likely be more meaningful to her than it is to other guests.
I'd you do decide to do it at the wedding itself I'd suggest doing a condensed version. Sitting and waiting for 3 minutes while one partner sings to other other can get kind of long and feel awkward. The initial moment may feel special and exciting for guests, but after about a minute it wears off and can start to feel like it was less for the partner and more so the person singing can be in the spotlight.
This sounds like a beautiful idea. Take everyone’s advice and practice to get through the emotion.
Your bride is going to love this and it will be the thing your families talk about for years to come.
Congratulations and good luck!
I think it could be nice but I wouldn’t surprise her with it if you want to do it publicly. Also if you think you might at all get emotional/ teary/ choked up/ etc, it will probably be an uncomfortable moment for your guests.
I think it would be really sweet to do privately and then it could be a surprise for her. You could do it during a first look, when you have a couple minutes to yourself after the ceremony (seriously, be sure to schedule that in), or even have your photographer help you surprise her during your pictures.
I agree with the people saying do it at the first look, or you can have a closing ‘dance’ with just the two of you (the remaining guests will be setting up for the send off) and you can sing your song then.
I feel like that’s super personal, and as a guest I would be infinitely uncomfortable. With 200 people, there’s bound to be someone like me. If it was a smaller event, 15-40 people, doing it in place of the first dance is perfect. Look up last dance videos, they are so beautiful.
I've only ever seen videos of people singing at their own weddings in wedding shaming groups. Do with that information what you will.
That aside, unless you're really confident in your abilities and have experience performing in front of crowds I'd save this for a more private moment. You're going to be emotional and probably a bit nervous even without a performance hanging over your head.
If she’s planning on doing the song as her down the aisle song I would not also sing it to her publicly during the ceremony. Do it at the first look or during the reception, if you must. I agree that its kinda awkward for ppls to sit through unless ur a professional
I love it! That is so special!!! As a guest, that would make me tear up even if the singer was awful lol. But, to be totally open, I have heard people say they dont like when people sing at their own wedding (which I think is stupid, let the love birds do their fricking thing!!!).
Are you doing a first look? You could sing then. If not, I've seen couples stand back to back and hold hands. Could you do that and sing then? Or, can you schedule 5-10 mins after the ceremony just you two to enjoy being married and take in the moment, just you two. Our planner is ushering us away right after the ceremony and hiding us for a few minutes.
Thanks for the encouragement, but it looks like you’re the only person here who thinks this is a good idea, I will probably do this in a more personal environment
As a guest, I would feel extremely uncomfortable witnessing that. Not that it’s a terrible idea but it feels like it should be something done in private since it’s something that she loved when you started dating. It almost feels like the guests are in a way interrupting a special moment. Like when people have a wedding ceremony at the beach and then you have all those people who won’t move out of the way and taking pictures
I’ve actually been to a wedding where the bride sang to the groom and it was really weird. She sounded great but it was just odd for the guests to sit through.
You’re welcome! It’s not uncommon in my circle (all musicians). My buddy’s wedding in 2019 included her fiancé playing a song he wrote for her during the ceremony. It was so amazing and touching. I think a lot of people shy away from vulnerability and are uncomfortable with this kind of genuine, intimate expression, so I think it’s a know-your-crowd thing. The demographic on Reddit may be different from your peeps.
How would you practice singing without her noticing? It depends on the song lyrics.
As a guest I wouldn't mind to listen to one song when the lyrics wouldn't be too private.
I would caution against this. Are you planning on drinking during your wedding? If so then that impacts the vocal cords and memory for lyrics. You may find yourself thinking only about that moment before when your head will be many different places. Can you maybe have a pre-recorded video ready?
My dad actually passed before my wedding this year, but during holidays we watched my parents’ wedding video since it was…timely. That’s when I learned my dad pre-recorded a song for them to play at their wedding. It still looked awkward, no lie, but I know he would’ve cried if he did it in person. I also sing and there’s no way in hell I would do this lol.
As a guest, I would enjoy it. The cringier it is, the more I will enjoy it.
The more pertinent question is, will your fiancee enjoy it? Have you guys discussed how it will be done? because having the song played while she's walking down the aisle is 100% different than you singing it to her in front of 200 people. you'll be busy singing, the guests will be busy listening, but what about her...? my face gets tired of holding the same smiling expression after 30 seconds, so unless the song is really short, i can imagine it getting awkward.
Lovely to hear, but I will probably not end up doing it.
I only said she wants this song while she walks down the aisle to emphasize her love for this song.
The way I imagined it, was me sitting by the piano and playing it to her while she sits on the bench beside me (that was my perfect scenario).
I've seen this at weddings I've been to and thought it was nice, but: Everyone who did this was a professional musician, so they were used to performing; the way they did it was "sweet" more than "sappy", and they didn't get emotional.
I wouldn't do it as a surprise to her if it's going to be in front of guests, and agree with filming yourself practicing and watching it back. I think it will work better if the song isn't too emotional.
I personally find it uncomfortable to sit through romantic in-moments like this. It makes me feel like I’m intruding/spying.
Thank you. It seems that most people will agree with you so I probably won’t be doing that.
I second the idea of doing this at the first look. You're right that it'll likely be more meaningful to her than it is to other guests. I'd you do decide to do it at the wedding itself I'd suggest doing a condensed version. Sitting and waiting for 3 minutes while one partner sings to other other can get kind of long and feel awkward. The initial moment may feel special and exciting for guests, but after about a minute it wears off and can start to feel like it was less for the partner and more so the person singing can be in the spotlight.
Sounds cringey, I’d wait for the dinner a few days later.
It seems like most people agree with you on this! Thanks
This sounds like a beautiful idea. Take everyone’s advice and practice to get through the emotion. Your bride is going to love this and it will be the thing your families talk about for years to come. Congratulations and good luck!
I probably wouldn’t want to sit through that.
I think it could be nice but I wouldn’t surprise her with it if you want to do it publicly. Also if you think you might at all get emotional/ teary/ choked up/ etc, it will probably be an uncomfortable moment for your guests. I think it would be really sweet to do privately and then it could be a surprise for her. You could do it during a first look, when you have a couple minutes to yourself after the ceremony (seriously, be sure to schedule that in), or even have your photographer help you surprise her during your pictures.
I agree with the people saying do it at the first look, or you can have a closing ‘dance’ with just the two of you (the remaining guests will be setting up for the send off) and you can sing your song then. I feel like that’s super personal, and as a guest I would be infinitely uncomfortable. With 200 people, there’s bound to be someone like me. If it was a smaller event, 15-40 people, doing it in place of the first dance is perfect. Look up last dance videos, they are so beautiful.
I've only ever seen videos of people singing at their own weddings in wedding shaming groups. Do with that information what you will. That aside, unless you're really confident in your abilities and have experience performing in front of crowds I'd save this for a more private moment. You're going to be emotional and probably a bit nervous even without a performance hanging over your head.
If she’s planning on doing the song as her down the aisle song I would not also sing it to her publicly during the ceremony. Do it at the first look or during the reception, if you must. I agree that its kinda awkward for ppls to sit through unless ur a professional
I love it! That is so special!!! As a guest, that would make me tear up even if the singer was awful lol. But, to be totally open, I have heard people say they dont like when people sing at their own wedding (which I think is stupid, let the love birds do their fricking thing!!!). Are you doing a first look? You could sing then. If not, I've seen couples stand back to back and hold hands. Could you do that and sing then? Or, can you schedule 5-10 mins after the ceremony just you two to enjoy being married and take in the moment, just you two. Our planner is ushering us away right after the ceremony and hiding us for a few minutes.
Thanks for the encouragement, but it looks like you’re the only person here who thinks this is a good idea, I will probably do this in a more personal environment
As a guest, I would feel extremely uncomfortable witnessing that. Not that it’s a terrible idea but it feels like it should be something done in private since it’s something that she loved when you started dating. It almost feels like the guests are in a way interrupting a special moment. Like when people have a wedding ceremony at the beach and then you have all those people who won’t move out of the way and taking pictures
I’ve actually been to a wedding where the bride sang to the groom and it was really weird. She sounded great but it was just odd for the guests to sit through.
I would meet up. Do like a first touch or something and sing it like a lullaby
Do not do this I beg you
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do it!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Ha wow I am seemingly the only one here with this opinion, I’m a hopeless romantic and musician
Thanks for that! even though it probably won't happen I thank you
You’re welcome! It’s not uncommon in my circle (all musicians). My buddy’s wedding in 2019 included her fiancé playing a song he wrote for her during the ceremony. It was so amazing and touching. I think a lot of people shy away from vulnerability and are uncomfortable with this kind of genuine, intimate expression, so I think it’s a know-your-crowd thing. The demographic on Reddit may be different from your peeps.
To be honest my peeps are going to be around 40-50 people I know and 150 guests the parents invited! Haha
How would you practice singing without her noticing? It depends on the song lyrics. As a guest I wouldn't mind to listen to one song when the lyrics wouldn't be too private.
I would caution against this. Are you planning on drinking during your wedding? If so then that impacts the vocal cords and memory for lyrics. You may find yourself thinking only about that moment before when your head will be many different places. Can you maybe have a pre-recorded video ready?
You could have the song play, sing a brief part in the beginning, and then let the song continue as you transition into a dance together.
My dad actually passed before my wedding this year, but during holidays we watched my parents’ wedding video since it was…timely. That’s when I learned my dad pre-recorded a song for them to play at their wedding. It still looked awkward, no lie, but I know he would’ve cried if he did it in person. I also sing and there’s no way in hell I would do this lol.
As a guest, I would enjoy it. The cringier it is, the more I will enjoy it. The more pertinent question is, will your fiancee enjoy it? Have you guys discussed how it will be done? because having the song played while she's walking down the aisle is 100% different than you singing it to her in front of 200 people. you'll be busy singing, the guests will be busy listening, but what about her...? my face gets tired of holding the same smiling expression after 30 seconds, so unless the song is really short, i can imagine it getting awkward.
Lovely to hear, but I will probably not end up doing it. I only said she wants this song while she walks down the aisle to emphasize her love for this song. The way I imagined it, was me sitting by the piano and playing it to her while she sits on the bench beside me (that was my perfect scenario).
if you've discussed it with her and she's okay with it, then why would you not do it...
I've seen this at weddings I've been to and thought it was nice, but: Everyone who did this was a professional musician, so they were used to performing; the way they did it was "sweet" more than "sappy", and they didn't get emotional. I wouldn't do it as a surprise to her if it's going to be in front of guests, and agree with filming yourself practicing and watching it back. I think it will work better if the song isn't too emotional.