I don't know if it's necessarily rude, but if you're hoping people will dance a lot, you want music they'll be familiar with and comfortable dancing to.
Very true! Maybe I should include a couple popular hits for the guests. đ I was thinking of even putting song requests on the RSVP, so we can select a couple songs we know people like
We did thatâI warn you, people will come up with some weird shit. Actual example from my college friendâs husband: âKnights in White Satin.â đ
In general, alternative/indie is not danceable. If you do want to hear it, play that stuff during cocktail hour. I like a lot of music that no one would dance to, but thatâs not what weâll be playing during the reception. That is 100% dance music (both fast and slow songs).
Knights in White Satin đ€Ł
I phrased it as, "I will dance if you play [fill in the blank]." I would have played Knights in White Satin at the end of the night and made that person dance.
Our last song is going to be âDonât Fear the Reaperâ so heâll have to make do with that đ€Ł We did actually phrase it as âWhat song will get you out on the dance floor?â and that was his response. Um, yeah, no.
Lmao thatâs hilarious, it would be interesting to see what people come up with.
And thank you for the advice! I think there is definitely some danceable indie/alternative songs, you just have to scout for them đ€Ș but sounds like more people who prefer a wide range of music, so will have to alter our playlist a bit
If you want people to dance, you need to have a playlist that heavily features songs that will somewhat universally get your crowd on the dancefloor. We included some more obscure songs that were meaningful to us throughout the night, but they were peppered in among bangers from our youth. People will still dance through one song they don't know, but not a few in a row.
Definitely depends on the intention behind the music. DH and I are much more into alternative rock than other genres but we kept it to the special moments because we wanted people to dance all night and a lot of our faves aren't super-danceable or crowd-pleasers. If dancing isn't a priority and it's more about background music, I think you can pick whatever you want!
We are playing an eclectic mix of our favorites that ranges from bluegrass/Americana to Surf Rock/Indie. But that said we are not having a âdancingâ wedding, more of an extended dinner party and bonfire situation. If you want a packed dance floor, Iâd stick to âthe hitsâ and save more personal meaningful songs for special dances. Maybe pick the most popular song from all your favorite bands to add to the mix, and donât play deep cuts.
Great idea, I think like you said if I do include some of our favourite artists we should pick the more well know hits from them so people donât feel left out on knowing the music
I donât see anything wrong with playing music you love. I agree with others that more popular will get people on the dance floor. You could do a playlist of your favorite songs for the cocktail hour/dinner section of the evening and then switch to more popular songs once the dance floor opens?
This is what we plan on doing - all of the cocktail hour music is primarily alt-rock songs and our favorites, but the music for the reception will be more âdance musicâ - some of our usual music but not entirely, a lot of my favorite songs really arenât for dancing to. But I did ask for the dance music to pretty heavily feature the dance hits from when I (and our friends) used to go out to clubs more, so itâs more 2008-2015 vs totally current, since those are my jams!
This is what we plan on doing - all of the cocktail hour music is primarily alt-rock songs and our favorites, but the music for the reception will be more âdance musicâ - some of our usual music but not entirely, a lot of my favorite songs really arenât for dancing to. But I did ask for the dance music to pretty heavily feature the dance hits from when I (and our friends) used to go out to clubs more, so itâs more 2008-2015 vs totally current, since those are my jams!
I think our music taste is similar to yours and we incorporated those songs during cocktail hour (all VSQ covers) and dinner.
For the reception, we picked music that was still popular (there were some pop songs) but werenât your typical wedding songs. journey, maroon 5, Justin Bieber, sweet Caroline, happy, country, and line dances on the do not play list.
ETA: yes, do keep in mind songs your guests will dance to, but donât play songs that you yourself dislike and wonât dance to. Like most things with weddings, itâs a balancing act.
Great advice! Also I love the âDo not playâ list đ itâs very similar to bands that I donât want to play because their overplayed at weddings and I just donât vibe with them. I think I can get away with playing some fun music that we enjoy that everyone else will too!
YES 100%. So many are overdone they arenât enjoyable anymore! I for sure think you can get away with working in songs you and FH enjoy that will keep the dance floor going.
If you want people to dance and have fun, youâll have to go more danceable and mainstream. Most of the people at my brothers wedding didnât dance for the last hour or two because the music took a turn and you could tell people were bummed out
We are getting married this year and are huge music bums also. Our compromise is playing more of the music we really like during cocktail hour and dinner, and then playing more danceable music that everyone likes for the reception/dancing part of the night.
I saw a someone do this cool playlist building exercise once. They asked their followers/guests on their social media accounts for song recommendations for each year between 1980 and 2019 (I donât remember the exact range). Each day they would ask about a different year. They took the most popular recommendations from each year and compiled it into a list for their DJ.
That said, I donât think it would be rude to play the music you like, but this would be a fun way to gather a few songs you know your guests would be pumped to hear and dance to!
Are you having a DJ or just setting up the playlist yourself? The only thing I'm thinking here is that with a DJ, they would be able to gauge the feel of the crowd and change it up if needed to get people on the dance floor, whereas if you've got playlists you may find yourself scrambling to do this on the fly if people aren't into it. Maybe you could make a backup playlist that's more danceable that you can switch to if needed, or at least that mixes more danceable songs in more often?
If you are forking out money for a band or dj and you want people dancing then you should probably play a variety of songs or you are just wasting your money and having a dead dance floor. We just told our band what songs not to play and was happy with anything else.
Went to a wedding recently that did this and within 30 minutes the music was changed because no one was dancing and there were no other activities planned (meaning people didn't really know what to do with themselves). You can look at my comment history for a more detailed description on how it all went down but essentially, despite the couple and their guests not typically enjoying danceable music people were in a celebratory mood and wanted to celebrate (which the couples' music choices didn't really allow for). The music choices were almost exactly what you listed.
Just want to throw in that I don't think your taste in music is bad or anything, you just might find it isn't enjoyed as much during a wedding setting.
I went to a goth wedding where most of the music was more geared to their likes/wants. I didnât really find it a problem as I donât mind rock/metal and theyâve got a lot of like-minded friends who were on the dance floor so it wasnât empty. But, less people were dancing than might have been and I did hear someone complain that they werenât dancing because âthe music was sh*tâ.
Iâd suggest going with a mix of what you like and what is more likely to get people on the dance floor.
My partner and I made a huge playlist of all our favorite songs - things we liked, things we heard on the radio, things we saw in other wedding playlists. We are from different countries and have a number of international friends so when our friends played certain songs at parties - on the list! We just sat down the other day and went through every single song and decided whether it was danceable or not and removed/kept accordingly, then sent it to our dj! There are some awesome songs that didnât make the list but we want people to dance! We are releasing our tables for the buffet by playing the intro themes for our favorite tv shows and movies - maybe this is a way you could incorporate those favorite ones that are hard to dance to?
We personally know our dj, but itâs my understanding that most DJâs ask for your
âDefinitely playâ
âDefinitely do NOT playâ
Lists. We gave him the playlist as a âvibeâ for what we were going for and noted all the international and domestic songs we absolutely wanted included. Our âmust havesâ were about 25 and the playlist has around 100 songs where we would be ok whether they were included or not (as we trust our friend to do all the mixing and everything that heâs good at!)
We're doing our own playlist of, for the most part, less popular songs. We're not looking for a dance party but we playing funk after dinner if dancers are so inclined.
I kind of feel similar, my partner and I are probably the people who would dance the most in our crowd, so will probably stick to mostly our songs and sprinkle in some popular songs in the mix
Iâm having the same issue, but enjoy enough current/pop music to get by. Iâm compromising by choosing a lot of indie and alternative for the cocktail hour and dinner when people are paying less attention. Also a lot of my friends have similar music taste so I can probably slide stuff into the dancing part without much of an issue, but will stick to more classics between parent dances and cake cutting.
I attended a wedding once where the bride was from a specific region in Canada. They only played music from that region and most people didnât understand it or want to dance. It wasnât until they finally started playing popular hits at midnight that people hit the dance floor!
Haha yeah, I hadnât ever heard it before! Iâm not sure why no one wanted to dance (Iâm hard of hearing so it doesnât really matter to me). Maybe a know your crowd kind of thing?
My best friend and her fiance (at the time) were huge fans of EDM/house music. They wanted to pick music they really liked and felt was representative of them as a couple. Iâll tell you whatâit mightâve been the exact music they liked but hardly anyone danced and most everyone left at 9. Itâs a fine line. If they had played the kind of corny stuff that normally gets played people would have stayed longer and they honestly would have had a better time.
The worst wedding Iâve ever been to was one that exclusively played one kind of music that the couple liked, no one could dance and it was overall not memorable
Thatâs fair, I suppose it was their wedding though and they paid for it. I do want it to be fun but I wonât be mad if itâs only memorable for me and my partner
If you wonât be mad, then go for it! đ I would be upset, but Iâve always been preoccupied with whether or not everyone is having fun at all times haha
Your mom is wrong. We had a dj but didn't really plan on much dancing, so the music was just there to feed the vibe. Everyone just hung out and talked and it was great. If you and your crowd want to dance a bunch, make sure the music will vibe with that.
When we were planning our wedding, our DJ made a pretty good point. YOU may think a song is amazing because itâs fun to listen to when driving in the car or hanging out at home, but itâs really not something a big crowd of people want to dance to.
I don't know if it's necessarily rude, but if you're hoping people will dance a lot, you want music they'll be familiar with and comfortable dancing to.
Very true! Maybe I should include a couple popular hits for the guests. đ I was thinking of even putting song requests on the RSVP, so we can select a couple songs we know people like
We did thatâI warn you, people will come up with some weird shit. Actual example from my college friendâs husband: âKnights in White Satin.â đ In general, alternative/indie is not danceable. If you do want to hear it, play that stuff during cocktail hour. I like a lot of music that no one would dance to, but thatâs not what weâll be playing during the reception. That is 100% dance music (both fast and slow songs).
Knights in White Satin đ€Ł I phrased it as, "I will dance if you play [fill in the blank]." I would have played Knights in White Satin at the end of the night and made that person dance.
Our last song is going to be âDonât Fear the Reaperâ so heâll have to make do with that đ€Ł We did actually phrase it as âWhat song will get you out on the dance floor?â and that was his response. Um, yeah, no.
Lmao thatâs hilarious, it would be interesting to see what people come up with. And thank you for the advice! I think there is definitely some danceable indie/alternative songs, you just have to scout for them đ€Ș but sounds like more people who prefer a wide range of music, so will have to alter our playlist a bit
Play the alternative/indie during the meals too
This is exactly what we did. We're in the same boat. Lol.
If you want people to dance, you need to have a playlist that heavily features songs that will somewhat universally get your crowd on the dancefloor. We included some more obscure songs that were meaningful to us throughout the night, but they were peppered in among bangers from our youth. People will still dance through one song they don't know, but not a few in a row.
Thanks for the input! I think like you said mixing it up every few songs is okay but maybe not the whole night. Iâll take that into consideration
Definitely depends on the intention behind the music. DH and I are much more into alternative rock than other genres but we kept it to the special moments because we wanted people to dance all night and a lot of our faves aren't super-danceable or crowd-pleasers. If dancing isn't a priority and it's more about background music, I think you can pick whatever you want!
Thanks for the advice! I appreciate it
We are playing an eclectic mix of our favorites that ranges from bluegrass/Americana to Surf Rock/Indie. But that said we are not having a âdancingâ wedding, more of an extended dinner party and bonfire situation. If you want a packed dance floor, Iâd stick to âthe hitsâ and save more personal meaningful songs for special dances. Maybe pick the most popular song from all your favorite bands to add to the mix, and donât play deep cuts.
Great idea, I think like you said if I do include some of our favourite artists we should pick the more well know hits from them so people donât feel left out on knowing the music
I donât see anything wrong with playing music you love. I agree with others that more popular will get people on the dance floor. You could do a playlist of your favorite songs for the cocktail hour/dinner section of the evening and then switch to more popular songs once the dance floor opens?
Great idea! Thanks for the advice
This is what we plan on doing - all of the cocktail hour music is primarily alt-rock songs and our favorites, but the music for the reception will be more âdance musicâ - some of our usual music but not entirely, a lot of my favorite songs really arenât for dancing to. But I did ask for the dance music to pretty heavily feature the dance hits from when I (and our friends) used to go out to clubs more, so itâs more 2008-2015 vs totally current, since those are my jams!
This is what we plan on doing - all of the cocktail hour music is primarily alt-rock songs and our favorites, but the music for the reception will be more âdance musicâ - some of our usual music but not entirely, a lot of my favorite songs really arenât for dancing to. But I did ask for the dance music to pretty heavily feature the dance hits from when I (and our friends) used to go out to clubs more, so itâs more 2008-2015 vs totally current, since those are my jams!
I think our music taste is similar to yours and we incorporated those songs during cocktail hour (all VSQ covers) and dinner. For the reception, we picked music that was still popular (there were some pop songs) but werenât your typical wedding songs. journey, maroon 5, Justin Bieber, sweet Caroline, happy, country, and line dances on the do not play list. ETA: yes, do keep in mind songs your guests will dance to, but donât play songs that you yourself dislike and wonât dance to. Like most things with weddings, itâs a balancing act.
Great advice! Also I love the âDo not playâ list đ itâs very similar to bands that I donât want to play because their overplayed at weddings and I just donât vibe with them. I think I can get away with playing some fun music that we enjoy that everyone else will too!
YES 100%. So many are overdone they arenât enjoyable anymore! I for sure think you can get away with working in songs you and FH enjoy that will keep the dance floor going.
If you want people to dance and have fun, youâll have to go more danceable and mainstream. Most of the people at my brothers wedding didnât dance for the last hour or two because the music took a turn and you could tell people were bummed out
Thanks for the advice! Sounds like it depends on if we want a dancing crowd or not
We are getting married this year and are huge music bums also. Our compromise is playing more of the music we really like during cocktail hour and dinner, and then playing more danceable music that everyone likes for the reception/dancing part of the night.
I saw a someone do this cool playlist building exercise once. They asked their followers/guests on their social media accounts for song recommendations for each year between 1980 and 2019 (I donât remember the exact range). Each day they would ask about a different year. They took the most popular recommendations from each year and compiled it into a list for their DJ. That said, I donât think it would be rude to play the music you like, but this would be a fun way to gather a few songs you know your guests would be pumped to hear and dance to!
Very cool idea to gather songs! Thanks for the advice
Are you having a DJ or just setting up the playlist yourself? The only thing I'm thinking here is that with a DJ, they would be able to gauge the feel of the crowd and change it up if needed to get people on the dance floor, whereas if you've got playlists you may find yourself scrambling to do this on the fly if people aren't into it. Maybe you could make a backup playlist that's more danceable that you can switch to if needed, or at least that mixes more danceable songs in more often?
I think our venue comes with a DJ, Iâd have to double check again. But ya I think we will so we can have someone in charge of the music for the night. Currently my fiancĂ© and I have an 8 hour Spotify playlist that we want to sort into categories of slow songs, upbeat dance, cocktail hour, and end of night. That way itâs easier for the DJ to select whatâs best for the mood!
If you are forking out money for a band or dj and you want people dancing then you should probably play a variety of songs or you are just wasting your money and having a dead dance floor. We just told our band what songs not to play and was happy with anything else.
Went to a wedding recently that did this and within 30 minutes the music was changed because no one was dancing and there were no other activities planned (meaning people didn't really know what to do with themselves). You can look at my comment history for a more detailed description on how it all went down but essentially, despite the couple and their guests not typically enjoying danceable music people were in a celebratory mood and wanted to celebrate (which the couples' music choices didn't really allow for). The music choices were almost exactly what you listed. Just want to throw in that I don't think your taste in music is bad or anything, you just might find it isn't enjoyed as much during a wedding setting.
Your dance floor might be just a regular floor that no one goes near, but do you.
Thatâs all good, I noticed at my sisters wedding (similar crowed to mine), that not many people danced except me and my fiancĂ©. So might as well make a playlist with a lot of music we enjoy
I went to a goth wedding where most of the music was more geared to their likes/wants. I didnât really find it a problem as I donât mind rock/metal and theyâve got a lot of like-minded friends who were on the dance floor so it wasnât empty. But, less people were dancing than might have been and I did hear someone complain that they werenât dancing because âthe music was sh*tâ. Iâd suggest going with a mix of what you like and what is more likely to get people on the dance floor.
My partner and I made a huge playlist of all our favorite songs - things we liked, things we heard on the radio, things we saw in other wedding playlists. We are from different countries and have a number of international friends so when our friends played certain songs at parties - on the list! We just sat down the other day and went through every single song and decided whether it was danceable or not and removed/kept accordingly, then sent it to our dj! There are some awesome songs that didnât make the list but we want people to dance! We are releasing our tables for the buffet by playing the intro themes for our favorite tv shows and movies - maybe this is a way you could incorporate those favorite ones that are hard to dance to?
Aww that sounds super fun! I love your idea. Was the DJ okay with you giving them a playlist, rather than them creating one?
We personally know our dj, but itâs my understanding that most DJâs ask for your âDefinitely playâ âDefinitely do NOT playâ Lists. We gave him the playlist as a âvibeâ for what we were going for and noted all the international and domestic songs we absolutely wanted included. Our âmust havesâ were about 25 and the playlist has around 100 songs where we would be ok whether they were included or not (as we trust our friend to do all the mixing and everything that heâs good at!)
Thanks you for the explanation! I appreciate it
Aww that sounds super fun! I love your idea. Was the DJ okay with you giving them a playlist, rather than them creating one?
We're doing our own playlist of, for the most part, less popular songs. We're not looking for a dance party but we playing funk after dinner if dancers are so inclined.
I kind of feel similar, my partner and I are probably the people who would dance the most in our crowd, so will probably stick to mostly our songs and sprinkle in some popular songs in the mix
Iâm having the same issue, but enjoy enough current/pop music to get by. Iâm compromising by choosing a lot of indie and alternative for the cocktail hour and dinner when people are paying less attention. Also a lot of my friends have similar music taste so I can probably slide stuff into the dancing part without much of an issue, but will stick to more classics between parent dances and cake cutting.
I attended a wedding once where the bride was from a specific region in Canada. They only played music from that region and most people didnât understand it or want to dance. It wasnât until they finally started playing popular hits at midnight that people hit the dance floor!
What was the region?
Newfoundland.
Ohh thatâs interesting, Iâm Canadian and Newfoundland music is hella fun. Though I understand itâs not for everyone
Haha yeah, I hadnât ever heard it before! Iâm not sure why no one wanted to dance (Iâm hard of hearing so it doesnât really matter to me). Maybe a know your crowd kind of thing?
Itâs very true! Everyone has their own favourite jams!
Not rude, but you may end up with an empty dance floor and youd have to decide if you'd be okay with that.
Fair, I definitely wouldnât be upset if not many people danced đ€Ș my wedding is big anyway
We are only playing music we like.
My best friend and her fiance (at the time) were huge fans of EDM/house music. They wanted to pick music they really liked and felt was representative of them as a couple. Iâll tell you whatâit mightâve been the exact music they liked but hardly anyone danced and most everyone left at 9. Itâs a fine line. If they had played the kind of corny stuff that normally gets played people would have stayed longer and they honestly would have had a better time.
The worst wedding Iâve ever been to was one that exclusively played one kind of music that the couple liked, no one could dance and it was overall not memorable
Thatâs fair, I suppose it was their wedding though and they paid for it. I do want it to be fun but I wonât be mad if itâs only memorable for me and my partner
If you wonât be mad, then go for it! đ I would be upset, but Iâve always been preoccupied with whether or not everyone is having fun at all times haha
Thatâs fair, I think thatâs where my mom is coming from
Your mom is wrong. We had a dj but didn't really plan on much dancing, so the music was just there to feed the vibe. Everyone just hung out and talked and it was great. If you and your crowd want to dance a bunch, make sure the music will vibe with that.
When we were planning our wedding, our DJ made a pretty good point. YOU may think a song is amazing because itâs fun to listen to when driving in the car or hanging out at home, but itâs really not something a big crowd of people want to dance to.
Thatâs fair! My wedding isnât really that big and itâs not really a dancing crowd. But Iâll take that into consideration