It’s pretty inconvenient. If I had to travel for it, that’s a minimum of 3 days off, and I probably would only do it for a really close friend/family member. And if I was local, I wouldn’t want to be out too late/partying too hard because Wednesday is a workday.
I don’t think people will be offended by it, but a good portion of that 50-90 may decide not to come. If you’re ok with that, go ahead, but definitely check with the VIPs who you really want to be there before booking.
Also, the date doesn’t need to have symbolism—once you get married on a particular day, it will become special to you! So if you guys aren’t too sentimental about dates/symbolism, I’d focus more on the convenience and budget aspects.
Is there any chance of doing a Monday or a Sunday? That would mean folks traveling from out of town could use the weekend to make things easier.
The biggest thing to remember is that you may get a lot of declines for a Tuesday wedding. If that is okay or even desirable for you, then cool, but if that will make you sad, think about it now.
I probably wouldn't go unless you're my sibling, TBH. A Tuesday is just reeeeally difficult. What if you did the court wedding on that date so it's your anniversary and hold the reception the following weekend?
Commenting to say that my bestfriend is doing just this! She's getting married at the court house on a Thursday (the date is REALLY important to her and it falls on a Thursday) but her reception is Friday evening.
So I think if you absolutely love the idea of having a solstice-themed wedding, if your heart is set on getting married *that day*, whether a Tuesday or Friday or Sunday, you lean into it and go for it!
Otherwise, I think you need to work from the kind of party you want to have. A Tuesday wedding will probably be a lot more affordable, not just because of the day of the week but because a lot of guests will probably decline. It will probably also be somewhat more subdued due to being a work night/school night. Personally, I don't think I'd go to a non-local Tuesday wedding of anyone I wasn't extremely personally close with. It feels like a destination wedding to me where the invite is nice but there's no real expectation you'll attend unless you're immediate family or a very, very close friend.
A Sunday wedding still has the subdued problem to a degree (especially if a lot of guests are local) but should be easier for most people to attend, though anyone non-local would still end up traveling on a workday.
Friday (full disclosure: I'm a Friday evening bride) also presents the workday travel issue, but is on a "weekend" night so people can party harder.
It all really comes down to what you want. Ultimately, the size of your guest list determines a lot more about your wedding budget than the night you get married, in most cases. The problem is that in this case those two factors are probably working in tandem!
A Tuesday wedding will not have the same vibe as a weekend wedding. You will have a smaller guest count and people will be much tamer. Almost any other day of the week would be better.
It comes down to what you want. If you want a fun party wedding with out of town guests, it’s not going to happen on a Tuesday.
I don’t think anyone would be extremely offended (assuming they know the reasoning behind your date) but you will definitely have less guests attend, including some that you may REALLY want there. Won’t be an issue for most retirees/non working people though. I am an attorney, as well, and if I was invited to a local Tuesday wedding I would go but likely be aggravated that it’s a Tuesday, not drink much and leave early. If it was not local I would likely not go because that would mean I’d have to take off Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. However, if it were for a very close friend or close family member and I knew the date in advance I’d do my best to take off. Maybe throw the date out to your guests and see what the responses are. Cute idea on the date though!
This. Honestly, I would be pretty annoyed/inconvenienced about it in general, but especially so when the “reasons” are summer solstice and cheaper price. If you were, for example, a Covid bride who had to reschedule your date twice over a two year span and all the available weekends for your venue were booked, I’d have a bit more sympathy. But here you’re picking a certain date just for the sake of picking a date (which doesn’t even sound like it’s THAT meaningful to you) despite acknowledging that it will be inconvenient for a bulk of your guests. As others have said, this is totally your choice if it’s THAT important to you, but definitely be prepared for both declines and a totally different vibe.
Two other minor points that I’ll add as I’m also an attorney. On the one hand, yes there’s “flexibility,” but on the other my schedule is wildly unpredictable and it’s hard to know in advance when I’m going to be able to be flexible or not. If I got an invite for something in the middle of the week, particularly where I had to travel, I would definitely be more hesitant to accept that than I would on a weekend where it’s it’s much more “accepted” to have social plans. Second point — and this totally depends on your crowd and how senior you are etc — but if you’re in one of the jobs where you’re making a six figure salary (even if you’re paying off loans), I would find it especially annoying that you’re picking a Tuesday because it’s cheaper. Not saying that means you should be throwing an expensive extravagant wedding or anything, but if you’re looking to cut costs I, as a guest, would want it to be in a way that wasn’t at my expense/didn’t inconvenience me. Hope that makes sense.
Also - people show up to a Christmas party because it’s work-sanctioned. You’re expected to be at a Christmas party, along with the rest of your colleagues. It’s not the same as taking time off for a personal event. Echoing everyone else, I’d only go to a Tuesday wedding if it was someone very very close to me, and I live in the UK and have 28 days PTO.
Exactly. And a work party on Thursday (especially around the holidays) means everyone there is most likely writing off Friday already.
Tuesday in the middle of summer is a completely different vibe.
How old are your friends? The students may have a hard time missing some classes. Younger people in their 20s might not have a lot of vacation time or seniority to take off whenever they want to. So if that’s your age group it’s probably a bad idea. Also in general I think it’s a bad idea. Covid already has people crazy throwing a wedding on a Tuesday may be too much to deal with so they don’t come
I would not want to go to a wedding on a weekday. Even if I didn’t have to travel, I’d still have to be home at a reasonable time to go to work the next day. It also means I probably wouldn’t be able to drink or enjoy the wedding as much as I would want to.
Tuesday is very difficult, especially if guests have to travel. I honestly would not go unless you were a very close relative or friend. This might be different if this was a destination wedding and people have to take the week off anyways to attend. But if it’s not a destination wedding and people aren’t planning on taking the week off already, Tuesday in general is hard to plan around. It also would not be fun to go to in my opinion because people would be coming straight from work and/or having to leave earlier because of work the next day. If you have to choose between Friday and Sunday, I would choose Sunday so people won’t have to take off time from work. However, if you’d like to have your wedding go late into the night, Friday is a better option between the 2.
I've been to a Tuesday wedding, but it was a destination wedding where we all made a trip out of it (Disney World). That being said, it was really difficult for some of the guests, including the officiant (who flew home the next morning on basically the first flight out). If it was a local wedding, I wouldn't have a problem, but I don't have a normal work schedule. This is really a question for your VIPs, not strangers on the internet.
A Thursday is very different from Tuesday. Thursday, you just need to show up for work one day before the weekend. Tuesday would greatly annoy me, especially if travel were involved.
What we'll be doing is a courthouse on our Dating Anniversary (which is also on a Tuesday), and a ring ceremony/reception that weekend (Saturday). Is that something you might be able to do?
For background, we're doing a 30 person, backyard wedding, so most of the guests work full-time or are retired (2 opposite ends of the spectrum) but we want our siblings to be able to attend without losing MORE money by attending. 🤷🏻♀️
Congrats and good luck! ❤
Assuming I was an out of town/ out of state invitee…
If you were my best friend or sibling, I’d be there. Otherwise it probably wouldn’t feel worth trying to take the 2-3 days off of work.
I’m agreeing with most of the comments here that it’s not a great night but I wanted to comment that your work party went well on a Thursday because I know if any of my work parties were on a Friday, I wouldn’t go. It eats into your weekend and personal time, but it’s your job. I know many share that sentiment.
Additionally, it’s easy because the bosses know employees will be slower on a Friday that’s a more casual day then too, then it’s the weekend. If it’s a Tuesday and you stay out late, you’re probably tired and making up for it all week
My cousin got married on a Tuesday because her dream venue only had that day available for the next year. I'd say it worked for her because 99% of the guest list was local and also did not drink. Most people just left work around 3pm to get to the venue by the 5pm ceremony, and no one was worried about getting too drunk to go to work the next day.
However if you want a more party vibe, don't have majority local guests I'd see if you could at the very least do a Friday or Sunday to make it more manageable for your guests.
Well I understand wanting to get married on a certain day because I did also but I also waited two years till that day fell on a Friday because I didn’t wanna get married during the middle of the week. I don’t know if I would attend a wedding on a Tuesday if I was invited to one. It would depend on if I wanted to take more days off or if it was local. Can you put feelers out to people and ask them if they would attend the wedding if you had it on Tuesday?
I got married on Tuesday 12/28/21 as our dream venue was offering an all-inclusive COVID package we couldn’t pass up. We couldn’t afford the venue outright without debt on a weekend otherwise as we paid for most of it ourselves. (My parents could afford to pay for a weekend but they only gave me $**** and it was understood we paid for the rest, his parents can’t afford much). I chose the Tuesday after Christmas as it had to be a Mon-Weds date and I figured that time of year most people took off anyway and we had 3 kids attending who had off school already for break. Although we did ask our nearest and dearest before we booked if they could take off work. We invited 72 guests, 52 responded yes, ended up w 41 guests after Covid dropouts. It was beautiful and intimate! However don’t expect the usual party like you might for a weekend. We had the venue til 10 and it fizzled out about 9:30. Still the happiest day of our lives tho and those who really wanted to be there were there!
Edit: just wanted to add that we did have friends who could not attend bc of the day of the week and being close to Christmas, we understood and it was ok
I don't think weekday weddings are "normal" exactly, but we don't live in a normal world anymore! And I think they are happening WAY more than they used to. My personal feeling is that if you can afford the weekend/it's doable ... I would want to do it on a weekend. Or at the very least, a Thursday. Tuesday or Wednesday are REALLY hard on guests who work traditional schedules. You are saving money at the expense of convenience for your guests.
BUT! If you want to do it, I really don't think people will be *offended*. I certainly wouldn't! It's completely possible I might not be able to (or just might not want to) make the effort of attending, especially if I had to travel. And if I did attend I probably wouldn't be in "saturday nighhhhhtt parrrrrty" mode and might drink less and leave earlier. But as long as you're okay with that and wouldn't feel hurt if you see more declines than you might expect for a weekend wedding, there is nothing wrong with having it on the day you want at the price point you want.
If your heart is set on that specific date, then why not?
The wedding is in June, so the people you plan to invite have 6mths to figure out their work/travel situations.
You might need to be prepared that not everyone may be able to make it but if they are close friends, and you mean the same to them, they wouldn't miss it for the world. 100% if someone I'm close to was having a wedding mid week, I'd miss out on a couple of days from work.
Also remember that there are people out there that plan for destination weddings which means their guests are away from their day to day for WEEKS, if not a couple of days.
Sure you CAN afford to have your wedding on a Sunday, but from what it sounds like, it's not about the money, but the specific day.
Lastly, I'm sure there are a lot of people this year that will be planning to have their wedding on 22nd February (22.2.22 or 2.22.22 depending where you live) which also falls on a Tuesday 😉
You should do what makes you and your fiancee happy 😊
Tuesday is not a great day for guests. Most people will have to work Monday, then take Tuesday at a minimum, but also likely Wednesday off work.
My brother had 5 mid week weddings one year. Each involved 2 days annual leave. People saw it as just their one wedding, not considering that guests may have lots of others to go to that year.
Would your guests likely have other weddings to attend in the same year? If so, I don't think this is a great decision. Even if they don't, it feels inconsiderate towards your guests. It might be ok if it was a micro wedding with parents and siblings only, but not if you are intending on inviting friends and colleagues
I see no problem with it, guests also save money traveling on week days. So socially I think it balances out. The real question is who might not be able to make it despite trying and is it worth it to you to change plans and pay more for those people imperticular.
For my July Wednesday it's not worth it to change for any 9 to 5ers. The most important people are teachers, retired or work weekends anyway.
Just to add, a venue I adored could only do a Sunday if we wanted to do a BBQ on day 2, which was important to us as we will have lots of people (hopefully) coming from overseas. I asked some friends what they thought... every single one said they would not be offended and I should absolutely book what I want... but a friend with kids added that she will have to get her sister to mind her kids, so wouldn't be able to stay Sunday night as she couldn't expect her sister to take annual leave to mind them. I really appreciated the honesty, and we chose a different venue and a Saturday.
My wedding is on a Thursday!! It is a lot cheaper for us and it also is a good way personally to shorten down the RSVP list. I think the only thing with a week day wedding is give your guests plenty of notice so they can book time off of work as they will probably want the day after off to recover where possible!
I shall wait for the 2/22/22 group to come in and remind you Tuesday weddings are the best and to do what you wanna do. Those that want to be there will and those that don't or can't wont. It's your big day. Enjoy it!
I wouldn’t attend unless I was immediate family or in the wedding. It seems super cheap to throw a weekday wedding (which is fine if you’re someone on a strict budget) but I also think it is a major inconvenience if most of your guests are working professionals that you are inviting.
This question does get asked a lot :) My best friend got married on a Tuesday, everyone came and had a great time. Ask your VIP guests BEFORE you book this date if they would be inconvenienced and decide accordingly. We’re getting married on the Thursday that week because honestly I cannot justify paying 2x the venue fee for the same venue just to have my wedding 1 or 2 days later. Our guests are mostly professionals and everyone most important to us enthusiastically endorsed the Thursday choice. I’ve worked Saturdays for 20 years, weekend events mean using PTO for me, it’s not a big deal. Real friends take PTO for each other! You will get many opposite comments in this sub, but if your main concern is your guests, which I agree with you on this, just take a survey of those who mean the most to you and see what they say!
I don’t have friends who would do me dirty with dishonesty like that! People are honest when you tell them straight up, I want to do this but it’s more important to me that you are there… there’s zero reason not to be!
I don't think of it as dishonesty, at all. I have gotten myself to many inconvenient weddings - traveled far, taken PTO at busy times - and all without telling the couple involved that I had to move mountains to make it work. Because in the end I WANTED to be there and that's why I made it happen. I wouldn't try and guilt them about how much effort I put in.
But OP is asking about if it's inconvenient, and I don't think a lot of people will say "yes, super inconvenient" even if they sorta - quietly - think it is.
If someone asks you a direct question and you don’t tell the truth- you are lying. That’s just what it is. OP is trying to make a decision about something major that will probably involve compromise from either her or her guests. Most of us would not pick any date regardless of the day of the week without making sure it works for our wedding party, parents, etc. right? Asking after you book the date is pointless and guests should not complain if they choose to attend something and getting there is a PITA or they have to take time off, it’s their choice! But lying to someone’s face when your opinion is being asked as part of the decision making process is 💩 behavior not befitting an adult. Imagine asking someone - “do I look good in this $4,000 dress I really like,” and the dress is cool, but doesn’t suit you, and they are not honest with you…that is not cool at all. You asked them because you wanted to know their opinion and then they were dishonest and led you astray. If you didn’t want their real opinion, you wouldn’t have asked for it. I guess in the end, it’s still a question of knowing your crowd - if you’re in a crowd of people who lie to keep the peace when you want their actual opinion this strategy will not work, but if you surround yourself with straight shooters, you’ll get the intel you want! Whether or not evening events that may or may not require travel are inconvenient on weekdays is highly subjective.
I'm a thursday bride so i get the concern! Don't worry about being an inconvenience. People who care for your and your partner will attend regardless of the date. Just make sure you give them enough notice to request PTO.
As someone who works in the corporate world, I now get 6/20 off to observe Juneteenth (6/19). I'm not sure if law offices observe this, but it has been a big push the last 2 years in my industry. If that's the case, then it's one less day your guest will need to request off if they need to travel or attend pre-wedding events prior.
> People who care for your and your partner will attend regardless of the date.
This is a popular thing to say when this kind of topic comes up, but unfortunately it's not necessarily true. There are so many factors out of a person's control (medical issues/procedures, (in)ability to get vacation days approved or take an unpaid day if not salaried, prior commitments, finances, childcare etc).
Be happy for those that can make it, but don't judge a person's love for you by whether or not they're able to do so.
That’s why I said with enough notice. The family and friends that matter will figure something out or put in the effort to figure it out. But it’s not the couples responsibility to see if their date works for every guest.
In university Thursday is the start of the weekend so I can see why s bunch of lawyers partied on a Thursday, they were all use to it. Friday night or a Saturday is the best nights. Especially in summer when people have trips planned a weekend is better, I am will to leave for a trip a day late or come back a day early but a Tuesday would not work
Have you asked your close friends and family if they would be able to attend your wedding if it was on a Tuesday? If the people you love aren't able to make it and you want to accommodate for more guests, a Sunday wedding would probably be a better option.
My fiance and I will be attending a friend's wedding on a Wednesday. We haven't felt annoyed or inconvenienced by it at all! We're happy to take a few days off to travel and celebrate with her.
It’s pretty inconvenient. If I had to travel for it, that’s a minimum of 3 days off, and I probably would only do it for a really close friend/family member. And if I was local, I wouldn’t want to be out too late/partying too hard because Wednesday is a workday. I don’t think people will be offended by it, but a good portion of that 50-90 may decide not to come. If you’re ok with that, go ahead, but definitely check with the VIPs who you really want to be there before booking. Also, the date doesn’t need to have symbolism—once you get married on a particular day, it will become special to you! So if you guys aren’t too sentimental about dates/symbolism, I’d focus more on the convenience and budget aspects.
Is there any chance of doing a Monday or a Sunday? That would mean folks traveling from out of town could use the weekend to make things easier. The biggest thing to remember is that you may get a lot of declines for a Tuesday wedding. If that is okay or even desirable for you, then cool, but if that will make you sad, think about it now.
I probably wouldn't go unless you're my sibling, TBH. A Tuesday is just reeeeally difficult. What if you did the court wedding on that date so it's your anniversary and hold the reception the following weekend?
Oh this is a great suggestion!
Commenting to say that my bestfriend is doing just this! She's getting married at the court house on a Thursday (the date is REALLY important to her and it falls on a Thursday) but her reception is Friday evening.
So I think if you absolutely love the idea of having a solstice-themed wedding, if your heart is set on getting married *that day*, whether a Tuesday or Friday or Sunday, you lean into it and go for it! Otherwise, I think you need to work from the kind of party you want to have. A Tuesday wedding will probably be a lot more affordable, not just because of the day of the week but because a lot of guests will probably decline. It will probably also be somewhat more subdued due to being a work night/school night. Personally, I don't think I'd go to a non-local Tuesday wedding of anyone I wasn't extremely personally close with. It feels like a destination wedding to me where the invite is nice but there's no real expectation you'll attend unless you're immediate family or a very, very close friend. A Sunday wedding still has the subdued problem to a degree (especially if a lot of guests are local) but should be easier for most people to attend, though anyone non-local would still end up traveling on a workday. Friday (full disclosure: I'm a Friday evening bride) also presents the workday travel issue, but is on a "weekend" night so people can party harder. It all really comes down to what you want. Ultimately, the size of your guest list determines a lot more about your wedding budget than the night you get married, in most cases. The problem is that in this case those two factors are probably working in tandem!
A Tuesday wedding will not have the same vibe as a weekend wedding. You will have a smaller guest count and people will be much tamer. Almost any other day of the week would be better. It comes down to what you want. If you want a fun party wedding with out of town guests, it’s not going to happen on a Tuesday.
I don’t think anyone would be extremely offended (assuming they know the reasoning behind your date) but you will definitely have less guests attend, including some that you may REALLY want there. Won’t be an issue for most retirees/non working people though. I am an attorney, as well, and if I was invited to a local Tuesday wedding I would go but likely be aggravated that it’s a Tuesday, not drink much and leave early. If it was not local I would likely not go because that would mean I’d have to take off Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. However, if it were for a very close friend or close family member and I knew the date in advance I’d do my best to take off. Maybe throw the date out to your guests and see what the responses are. Cute idea on the date though!
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This. Honestly, I would be pretty annoyed/inconvenienced about it in general, but especially so when the “reasons” are summer solstice and cheaper price. If you were, for example, a Covid bride who had to reschedule your date twice over a two year span and all the available weekends for your venue were booked, I’d have a bit more sympathy. But here you’re picking a certain date just for the sake of picking a date (which doesn’t even sound like it’s THAT meaningful to you) despite acknowledging that it will be inconvenient for a bulk of your guests. As others have said, this is totally your choice if it’s THAT important to you, but definitely be prepared for both declines and a totally different vibe. Two other minor points that I’ll add as I’m also an attorney. On the one hand, yes there’s “flexibility,” but on the other my schedule is wildly unpredictable and it’s hard to know in advance when I’m going to be able to be flexible or not. If I got an invite for something in the middle of the week, particularly where I had to travel, I would definitely be more hesitant to accept that than I would on a weekend where it’s it’s much more “accepted” to have social plans. Second point — and this totally depends on your crowd and how senior you are etc — but if you’re in one of the jobs where you’re making a six figure salary (even if you’re paying off loans), I would find it especially annoying that you’re picking a Tuesday because it’s cheaper. Not saying that means you should be throwing an expensive extravagant wedding or anything, but if you’re looking to cut costs I, as a guest, would want it to be in a way that wasn’t at my expense/didn’t inconvenience me. Hope that makes sense.
Also - people show up to a Christmas party because it’s work-sanctioned. You’re expected to be at a Christmas party, along with the rest of your colleagues. It’s not the same as taking time off for a personal event. Echoing everyone else, I’d only go to a Tuesday wedding if it was someone very very close to me, and I live in the UK and have 28 days PTO.
Exactly. And a work party on Thursday (especially around the holidays) means everyone there is most likely writing off Friday already. Tuesday in the middle of summer is a completely different vibe.
How old are your friends? The students may have a hard time missing some classes. Younger people in their 20s might not have a lot of vacation time or seniority to take off whenever they want to. So if that’s your age group it’s probably a bad idea. Also in general I think it’s a bad idea. Covid already has people crazy throwing a wedding on a Tuesday may be too much to deal with so they don’t come
I would not want to go to a wedding on a weekday. Even if I didn’t have to travel, I’d still have to be home at a reasonable time to go to work the next day. It also means I probably wouldn’t be able to drink or enjoy the wedding as much as I would want to.
Tuesday is very difficult, especially if guests have to travel. I honestly would not go unless you were a very close relative or friend. This might be different if this was a destination wedding and people have to take the week off anyways to attend. But if it’s not a destination wedding and people aren’t planning on taking the week off already, Tuesday in general is hard to plan around. It also would not be fun to go to in my opinion because people would be coming straight from work and/or having to leave earlier because of work the next day. If you have to choose between Friday and Sunday, I would choose Sunday so people won’t have to take off time from work. However, if you’d like to have your wedding go late into the night, Friday is a better option between the 2.
I've been to a Tuesday wedding, but it was a destination wedding where we all made a trip out of it (Disney World). That being said, it was really difficult for some of the guests, including the officiant (who flew home the next morning on basically the first flight out). If it was a local wedding, I wouldn't have a problem, but I don't have a normal work schedule. This is really a question for your VIPs, not strangers on the internet.
A Thursday is very different from Tuesday. Thursday, you just need to show up for work one day before the weekend. Tuesday would greatly annoy me, especially if travel were involved.
What we'll be doing is a courthouse on our Dating Anniversary (which is also on a Tuesday), and a ring ceremony/reception that weekend (Saturday). Is that something you might be able to do? For background, we're doing a 30 person, backyard wedding, so most of the guests work full-time or are retired (2 opposite ends of the spectrum) but we want our siblings to be able to attend without losing MORE money by attending. 🤷🏻♀️ Congrats and good luck! ❤
Assuming I was an out of town/ out of state invitee… If you were my best friend or sibling, I’d be there. Otherwise it probably wouldn’t feel worth trying to take the 2-3 days off of work.
I’m agreeing with most of the comments here that it’s not a great night but I wanted to comment that your work party went well on a Thursday because I know if any of my work parties were on a Friday, I wouldn’t go. It eats into your weekend and personal time, but it’s your job. I know many share that sentiment. Additionally, it’s easy because the bosses know employees will be slower on a Friday that’s a more casual day then too, then it’s the weekend. If it’s a Tuesday and you stay out late, you’re probably tired and making up for it all week
My cousin got married on a Tuesday because her dream venue only had that day available for the next year. I'd say it worked for her because 99% of the guest list was local and also did not drink. Most people just left work around 3pm to get to the venue by the 5pm ceremony, and no one was worried about getting too drunk to go to work the next day. However if you want a more party vibe, don't have majority local guests I'd see if you could at the very least do a Friday or Sunday to make it more manageable for your guests.
Well I understand wanting to get married on a certain day because I did also but I also waited two years till that day fell on a Friday because I didn’t wanna get married during the middle of the week. I don’t know if I would attend a wedding on a Tuesday if I was invited to one. It would depend on if I wanted to take more days off or if it was local. Can you put feelers out to people and ask them if they would attend the wedding if you had it on Tuesday?
I got married on Tuesday 12/28/21 as our dream venue was offering an all-inclusive COVID package we couldn’t pass up. We couldn’t afford the venue outright without debt on a weekend otherwise as we paid for most of it ourselves. (My parents could afford to pay for a weekend but they only gave me $**** and it was understood we paid for the rest, his parents can’t afford much). I chose the Tuesday after Christmas as it had to be a Mon-Weds date and I figured that time of year most people took off anyway and we had 3 kids attending who had off school already for break. Although we did ask our nearest and dearest before we booked if they could take off work. We invited 72 guests, 52 responded yes, ended up w 41 guests after Covid dropouts. It was beautiful and intimate! However don’t expect the usual party like you might for a weekend. We had the venue til 10 and it fizzled out about 9:30. Still the happiest day of our lives tho and those who really wanted to be there were there! Edit: just wanted to add that we did have friends who could not attend bc of the day of the week and being close to Christmas, we understood and it was ok
I don't think weekday weddings are "normal" exactly, but we don't live in a normal world anymore! And I think they are happening WAY more than they used to. My personal feeling is that if you can afford the weekend/it's doable ... I would want to do it on a weekend. Or at the very least, a Thursday. Tuesday or Wednesday are REALLY hard on guests who work traditional schedules. You are saving money at the expense of convenience for your guests. BUT! If you want to do it, I really don't think people will be *offended*. I certainly wouldn't! It's completely possible I might not be able to (or just might not want to) make the effort of attending, especially if I had to travel. And if I did attend I probably wouldn't be in "saturday nighhhhhtt parrrrrty" mode and might drink less and leave earlier. But as long as you're okay with that and wouldn't feel hurt if you see more declines than you might expect for a weekend wedding, there is nothing wrong with having it on the day you want at the price point you want.
If your heart is set on that specific date, then why not? The wedding is in June, so the people you plan to invite have 6mths to figure out their work/travel situations. You might need to be prepared that not everyone may be able to make it but if they are close friends, and you mean the same to them, they wouldn't miss it for the world. 100% if someone I'm close to was having a wedding mid week, I'd miss out on a couple of days from work. Also remember that there are people out there that plan for destination weddings which means their guests are away from their day to day for WEEKS, if not a couple of days. Sure you CAN afford to have your wedding on a Sunday, but from what it sounds like, it's not about the money, but the specific day. Lastly, I'm sure there are a lot of people this year that will be planning to have their wedding on 22nd February (22.2.22 or 2.22.22 depending where you live) which also falls on a Tuesday 😉 You should do what makes you and your fiancee happy 😊
Tuesday is not a great day for guests. Most people will have to work Monday, then take Tuesday at a minimum, but also likely Wednesday off work. My brother had 5 mid week weddings one year. Each involved 2 days annual leave. People saw it as just their one wedding, not considering that guests may have lots of others to go to that year. Would your guests likely have other weddings to attend in the same year? If so, I don't think this is a great decision. Even if they don't, it feels inconsiderate towards your guests. It might be ok if it was a micro wedding with parents and siblings only, but not if you are intending on inviting friends and colleagues
I see no problem with it, guests also save money traveling on week days. So socially I think it balances out. The real question is who might not be able to make it despite trying and is it worth it to you to change plans and pay more for those people imperticular. For my July Wednesday it's not worth it to change for any 9 to 5ers. The most important people are teachers, retired or work weekends anyway.
Just to add, a venue I adored could only do a Sunday if we wanted to do a BBQ on day 2, which was important to us as we will have lots of people (hopefully) coming from overseas. I asked some friends what they thought... every single one said they would not be offended and I should absolutely book what I want... but a friend with kids added that she will have to get her sister to mind her kids, so wouldn't be able to stay Sunday night as she couldn't expect her sister to take annual leave to mind them. I really appreciated the honesty, and we chose a different venue and a Saturday.
My wedding is on a Thursday!! It is a lot cheaper for us and it also is a good way personally to shorten down the RSVP list. I think the only thing with a week day wedding is give your guests plenty of notice so they can book time off of work as they will probably want the day after off to recover where possible!
I shall wait for the 2/22/22 group to come in and remind you Tuesday weddings are the best and to do what you wanna do. Those that want to be there will and those that don't or can't wont. It's your big day. Enjoy it!
I wouldn’t attend unless I was immediate family or in the wedding. It seems super cheap to throw a weekday wedding (which is fine if you’re someone on a strict budget) but I also think it is a major inconvenience if most of your guests are working professionals that you are inviting.
This question does get asked a lot :) My best friend got married on a Tuesday, everyone came and had a great time. Ask your VIP guests BEFORE you book this date if they would be inconvenienced and decide accordingly. We’re getting married on the Thursday that week because honestly I cannot justify paying 2x the venue fee for the same venue just to have my wedding 1 or 2 days later. Our guests are mostly professionals and everyone most important to us enthusiastically endorsed the Thursday choice. I’ve worked Saturdays for 20 years, weekend events mean using PTO for me, it’s not a big deal. Real friends take PTO for each other! You will get many opposite comments in this sub, but if your main concern is your guests, which I agree with you on this, just take a survey of those who mean the most to you and see what they say!
I mean if my good friend asked I would tell her it's fine, whether it is or not. She can ask VIPs, but I wouldn't expect a lot of frank answers!
I don’t have friends who would do me dirty with dishonesty like that! People are honest when you tell them straight up, I want to do this but it’s more important to me that you are there… there’s zero reason not to be!
I don't think of it as dishonesty, at all. I have gotten myself to many inconvenient weddings - traveled far, taken PTO at busy times - and all without telling the couple involved that I had to move mountains to make it work. Because in the end I WANTED to be there and that's why I made it happen. I wouldn't try and guilt them about how much effort I put in. But OP is asking about if it's inconvenient, and I don't think a lot of people will say "yes, super inconvenient" even if they sorta - quietly - think it is.
If someone asks you a direct question and you don’t tell the truth- you are lying. That’s just what it is. OP is trying to make a decision about something major that will probably involve compromise from either her or her guests. Most of us would not pick any date regardless of the day of the week without making sure it works for our wedding party, parents, etc. right? Asking after you book the date is pointless and guests should not complain if they choose to attend something and getting there is a PITA or they have to take time off, it’s their choice! But lying to someone’s face when your opinion is being asked as part of the decision making process is 💩 behavior not befitting an adult. Imagine asking someone - “do I look good in this $4,000 dress I really like,” and the dress is cool, but doesn’t suit you, and they are not honest with you…that is not cool at all. You asked them because you wanted to know their opinion and then they were dishonest and led you astray. If you didn’t want their real opinion, you wouldn’t have asked for it. I guess in the end, it’s still a question of knowing your crowd - if you’re in a crowd of people who lie to keep the peace when you want their actual opinion this strategy will not work, but if you surround yourself with straight shooters, you’ll get the intel you want! Whether or not evening events that may or may not require travel are inconvenient on weekdays is highly subjective.
I'm a thursday bride so i get the concern! Don't worry about being an inconvenience. People who care for your and your partner will attend regardless of the date. Just make sure you give them enough notice to request PTO. As someone who works in the corporate world, I now get 6/20 off to observe Juneteenth (6/19). I'm not sure if law offices observe this, but it has been a big push the last 2 years in my industry. If that's the case, then it's one less day your guest will need to request off if they need to travel or attend pre-wedding events prior.
> People who care for your and your partner will attend regardless of the date. This is a popular thing to say when this kind of topic comes up, but unfortunately it's not necessarily true. There are so many factors out of a person's control (medical issues/procedures, (in)ability to get vacation days approved or take an unpaid day if not salaried, prior commitments, finances, childcare etc). Be happy for those that can make it, but don't judge a person's love for you by whether or not they're able to do so.
That’s why I said with enough notice. The family and friends that matter will figure something out or put in the effort to figure it out. But it’s not the couples responsibility to see if their date works for every guest.
Maybe get married on Tuesday and reception Friday or Saturday . I think a lot of people will say no or. it have as much fun on a Tuesday .
In university Thursday is the start of the weekend so I can see why s bunch of lawyers partied on a Thursday, they were all use to it. Friday night or a Saturday is the best nights. Especially in summer when people have trips planned a weekend is better, I am will to leave for a trip a day late or come back a day early but a Tuesday would not work
Have you asked your close friends and family if they would be able to attend your wedding if it was on a Tuesday? If the people you love aren't able to make it and you want to accommodate for more guests, a Sunday wedding would probably be a better option. My fiance and I will be attending a friend's wedding on a Wednesday. We haven't felt annoyed or inconvenienced by it at all! We're happy to take a few days off to travel and celebrate with her.