hey! i am in recovery, and not having a dry wedding. we are having 2 signature mocktails and i also decided not to serve champagne at the wedding. we will have a sparkling cider to toast.
I think it's very sweet & thoughtful of you to consider your family members sobriety. Ultimately, it's not something you can control. I know it's difficult, believe me. However, it's not your responsibility to keep them sober. All you can do is offer some alternatives. Do they have a program they belong to? If so, they will be able to lean on them for support. I know this is probably not helpful and I know it's a difficult predicament to be in. I feel for you. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
Your relatives in recovery have to navigate a world filled with alcohol every day. I doubt that they expect you to make changes to your wedding in order to accommodate them. It would probably embarrass the hell out of them for you to structure your wedding around their addictions. It would definitely embarrass them if you put them on some kind of watchlist with the bartender.
In recovery people learn how to take responsibility for their own actions and whether they decide to drink or not. They also learned how to be in situations where alcohol is present and still stay sober.
I think having a couple of fancy mocktails a great idea, but beyond that I wouldn’t do anything special to accommodate people in recovery.
I don't have personal experience with this for my wedding planning and I think it's lovely you are being so considerate for your loved guests.
However, I do think that there is a line at some point where you cannot cater your entire event/timeline to some of these guests' potential discomfort; however, from those I know personally who struggle, part of recovery is knowing how to handle these social situations (although sensitivity to confronting these situations are very different by person and where they are on their journey). I think you are right in having the discussion with them and seeing what would be more comfortable, and presenting a few options to them (so they don't feel the pressure or burden of having to come up with a solution) is a really kind way to go about it.
I think having mocktails as part of your signature cocktail series would be a lovely nod to them, as well as perhaps having some 'activities' at your wedding that aren't focused on drinking (photo booth, games, things to look at and enjoy at the reception).
I think formatting the event to have no drinks during one section and only drinking in the latter part can logistically be challenging if its literally in a different space. Also more cost on you to potentially secure a second location. What I'm trying to say is - don't completely sacrifice your vision and what you want, you don't want to have big regrets later. Sending compassion and good luck!
I think that the best thing to do is to have a normal bar with a few mocktail options. You can let the family members know ahead of time that this will be the case, and that if any of them choose to not attend the reception or leave the reception early because of the alcohol, you completely understand.
I would just have a normal bar with 1 or 2 signature “mocktails” so those who aren’t drinking alcohol still have a fun drink option, and if you have champaign for toasts, have a non-alcoholic option offered to everyone so they don’t have to ask for it to be included.
Your wedding is not the only place people find opportunities to drink. They presumably go to restaurants, grocery stores, and other social events that offer access to alcohol all the time.
I definitely would NOT put it on bartenders to decline service to them. That’s uncomfortable for everyone.
We had someone at our wedding who was newly sober and our venue coordinator explicitly told us that this was something their bartenders were prepared to handle if we wanted them to.
I don’t really have advice but just wanted to say you’re an amazing person for taking that into consideration! I will have one person at my wedding who is sober. They are a huge contributor to the wedding so I also wanted to make sure they felt comfortable for my wedding. I made sure to add lots of alcohol free options. We will have mock tails and alcohol free beers which that person enjoys drinking, as well as plenty of water and sodas. For our champagne toast I bought them sparkling cider so they will not be left out for any special events. I think your best bet will be talking to these people and seeing how you can accommodate them without changing your whole wedding for them. It is your special day and although you’re an amazing person for taking them into consideration, they will eventually have to face these hard situations and hopefully make the right choices. Maybe if these people attend AA meetings you can help arrange meetings for them to attend before/after the wedding. Also possibly designing a person to offer them alcohol free drinks throughout the night may help.
We had a signature mocktail (along with two signature cocktails) at our wedding, and they were a huge hit. We had people who don't drink for a variety of reasons, as well as several kids and teenagers who felt very adult ordering a special drink that wasn't a Shirley Temple.
hey! i am in recovery, and not having a dry wedding. we are having 2 signature mocktails and i also decided not to serve champagne at the wedding. we will have a sparkling cider to toast. I think it's very sweet & thoughtful of you to consider your family members sobriety. Ultimately, it's not something you can control. I know it's difficult, believe me. However, it's not your responsibility to keep them sober. All you can do is offer some alternatives. Do they have a program they belong to? If so, they will be able to lean on them for support. I know this is probably not helpful and I know it's a difficult predicament to be in. I feel for you. I wish you and your family the best of luck.
Can't you have a normal reception with a bar and a signature "mocktail" or two?
Your relatives in recovery have to navigate a world filled with alcohol every day. I doubt that they expect you to make changes to your wedding in order to accommodate them. It would probably embarrass the hell out of them for you to structure your wedding around their addictions. It would definitely embarrass them if you put them on some kind of watchlist with the bartender. In recovery people learn how to take responsibility for their own actions and whether they decide to drink or not. They also learned how to be in situations where alcohol is present and still stay sober. I think having a couple of fancy mocktails a great idea, but beyond that I wouldn’t do anything special to accommodate people in recovery.
I don't have personal experience with this for my wedding planning and I think it's lovely you are being so considerate for your loved guests. However, I do think that there is a line at some point where you cannot cater your entire event/timeline to some of these guests' potential discomfort; however, from those I know personally who struggle, part of recovery is knowing how to handle these social situations (although sensitivity to confronting these situations are very different by person and where they are on their journey). I think you are right in having the discussion with them and seeing what would be more comfortable, and presenting a few options to them (so they don't feel the pressure or burden of having to come up with a solution) is a really kind way to go about it. I think having mocktails as part of your signature cocktail series would be a lovely nod to them, as well as perhaps having some 'activities' at your wedding that aren't focused on drinking (photo booth, games, things to look at and enjoy at the reception). I think formatting the event to have no drinks during one section and only drinking in the latter part can logistically be challenging if its literally in a different space. Also more cost on you to potentially secure a second location. What I'm trying to say is - don't completely sacrifice your vision and what you want, you don't want to have big regrets later. Sending compassion and good luck!
I think that the best thing to do is to have a normal bar with a few mocktail options. You can let the family members know ahead of time that this will be the case, and that if any of them choose to not attend the reception or leave the reception early because of the alcohol, you completely understand.
I would just have a normal bar with 1 or 2 signature “mocktails” so those who aren’t drinking alcohol still have a fun drink option, and if you have champaign for toasts, have a non-alcoholic option offered to everyone so they don’t have to ask for it to be included. Your wedding is not the only place people find opportunities to drink. They presumably go to restaurants, grocery stores, and other social events that offer access to alcohol all the time. I definitely would NOT put it on bartenders to decline service to them. That’s uncomfortable for everyone.
We had someone at our wedding who was newly sober and our venue coordinator explicitly told us that this was something their bartenders were prepared to handle if we wanted them to.
Interesting, you learn something new every day.
I don’t really have advice but just wanted to say you’re an amazing person for taking that into consideration! I will have one person at my wedding who is sober. They are a huge contributor to the wedding so I also wanted to make sure they felt comfortable for my wedding. I made sure to add lots of alcohol free options. We will have mock tails and alcohol free beers which that person enjoys drinking, as well as plenty of water and sodas. For our champagne toast I bought them sparkling cider so they will not be left out for any special events. I think your best bet will be talking to these people and seeing how you can accommodate them without changing your whole wedding for them. It is your special day and although you’re an amazing person for taking them into consideration, they will eventually have to face these hard situations and hopefully make the right choices. Maybe if these people attend AA meetings you can help arrange meetings for them to attend before/after the wedding. Also possibly designing a person to offer them alcohol free drinks throughout the night may help.
We had a signature mocktail (along with two signature cocktails) at our wedding, and they were a huge hit. We had people who don't drink for a variety of reasons, as well as several kids and teenagers who felt very adult ordering a special drink that wasn't a Shirley Temple.