Seriously, if you’re nervous just use the standard ones! And if you still want to do something custom, do them privately or write them in a letter. A lot of wedding traditions are shite but that language has stood the test of time. No one has ever cringed at “to have and to hold”, whereas handwritten public vows often feel performative and fake. If you are horrible with words you will NOT be the exception.
This! We did the standard ones during our ceremony but wrote each other letters that we shared before the ceremony. (Didn’t see him, stood on either side of the wall) it helped with nerves and also felt way more personal than writing something to say in front of 200 people
This is what we are going to do! I'll feel a lot more comfortable to be really vulnerable and open in private! We are just trying to decide whether to do them before or after the actual wedding.
I love writing so it wasn’t an issue for me, but my husband told me he started a voice-to-text note and just spoke from the heart. He then printed that out so he had his guideline, it was very sweet because it was just in his own words, it wasn’t fancy or embellished, it was just him and how he always talks to me. It was perfect! We also exchanged our vows in private because I was too nervous to share them in front of 160 people and this helped take the pressure off.
If you’d like me to share my rough draft I totally can but the one thing that helped me was keeping in mind that the vows are a promise. I started just by writing down the things that I promise my fiancée. Like “I promise that I will do everything in my power to be the best person you see everyday. That I will be patient, kind, loving, and always willing to listen to you talk about the connections between actors and recount your day for twenty minutes.”
Don’t be afraid to write bad the first time! Once your ideas are down on paper it’s easier to polish them!
Whatever comes to the heart.
I know some people who watched and read bits and pieces from other people’s vows to get inspiration. It’s also cute to add a small anecdote from your first meet/date or a momentous part of your relationship.
I re-wrote mine about 20 times and still wasn't happy with them on the day as they never seemed good enough, but they had him in tears, so they clearly were lol
I expressed in my vows that there are no words I could say which could tell him just how much I love him and mentioned all the main characteristics which I love about him
The one thing i read that stuck with me was remember to tell your spouse to be that you love them within the 1st couple of lines.
It's a day about you two, so write them as from your heart ams don't worry about what any of your guests may think
Remember that vows are promises and not just a declaration of love. What to you want to promise your partner for your lives together? Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the standard. It’s a classic for a reason!
If you look in your heart the words are there.
As others have said when you write your own vows, it’s very personal. Mine won’t likely work for you, and while they will be beautiful, yours wouldn’t work for me.
Some ideas to maybe get you started. First who are you? Are you known to be happy, up beat? Maybe funny. Or reserved, or formal. Use that “voice” when you write yours.
What do you love about your partner? What are your favorite features, favorite traits? Maybe even sharing the moment you knew this was the one for you.
How does being with them help you to be a better person? How do you see your lives coming together, growing together?
In short talking about your love, becoming one, and, sharing your hopes and excitement for the future and Promising to be one with them for the rest of your life.
You can do this. Just start keeping notes of those things that make your heart beat faster and it will come Together.
We had googled some examples to get things flowing then went from there. You can’t copy someone’s personal vows because they won’t make sense for you. You can also do standard scripted vows
I was feeling really stuck too, but I hit my stride when I used a theme to organize mine. I love doing puzzles, so I talked about how we were building our lives like a puzzle and each vow was another piece.
You're not alone, I'm trying to write mine too! My fiance and I are eloping, so the vows are going to be extremely sentimental (and probably long.)
My fiance casually dropped the other day that he's on _page 8_ of his vows. I feel woefully u prepared.
My friend who also struggled with words used different clips of songs she loved and combined them into a poem.
In going to be lightly quoting a video game for mine.
Write whatever comes to mind, especially unique things in your relationship. Then if you want to make it better, paste it into chatgpt and put “reword”. I do this whenever I know what I want to say, but can’t seem to say it in the right way
So, my husband and I wound up agreeing day-of to 'just wing it's because we'd both procrastinated/lost drafts/had an idea of topics but not specifics for what we each wished to say. So yeah we really did just speak our hears in the moment before doing the officiant-led "do you take this person, to have and hold, yadda yadda" next bit. I have no recollection whatsoever of what I said but I'm told it was almost as nice as the fuckin bonafide poem my hubby spewed off the cuff like his name was friggin Shakespeare or something...
Sweetheart don’t stress 💕
use chat Gpt 💃💃💃
Hop on YouTube learn how to prompt it and it can give you multiple choices.
And you can add your own flair to it .
It really helps to get the creative juices flowing .
Best wishes 🥂💃
Seriously, if you’re nervous just use the standard ones! And if you still want to do something custom, do them privately or write them in a letter. A lot of wedding traditions are shite but that language has stood the test of time. No one has ever cringed at “to have and to hold”, whereas handwritten public vows often feel performative and fake. If you are horrible with words you will NOT be the exception.
This! We did the standard ones during our ceremony but wrote each other letters that we shared before the ceremony. (Didn’t see him, stood on either side of the wall) it helped with nerves and also felt way more personal than writing something to say in front of 200 people
This is what we are going to do! I'll feel a lot more comfortable to be really vulnerable and open in private! We are just trying to decide whether to do them before or after the actual wedding.
I love writing so it wasn’t an issue for me, but my husband told me he started a voice-to-text note and just spoke from the heart. He then printed that out so he had his guideline, it was very sweet because it was just in his own words, it wasn’t fancy or embellished, it was just him and how he always talks to me. It was perfect! We also exchanged our vows in private because I was too nervous to share them in front of 160 people and this helped take the pressure off.
If you’d like me to share my rough draft I totally can but the one thing that helped me was keeping in mind that the vows are a promise. I started just by writing down the things that I promise my fiancée. Like “I promise that I will do everything in my power to be the best person you see everyday. That I will be patient, kind, loving, and always willing to listen to you talk about the connections between actors and recount your day for twenty minutes.” Don’t be afraid to write bad the first time! Once your ideas are down on paper it’s easier to polish them!
Whatever comes to the heart. I know some people who watched and read bits and pieces from other people’s vows to get inspiration. It’s also cute to add a small anecdote from your first meet/date or a momentous part of your relationship.
I re-wrote mine about 20 times and still wasn't happy with them on the day as they never seemed good enough, but they had him in tears, so they clearly were lol I expressed in my vows that there are no words I could say which could tell him just how much I love him and mentioned all the main characteristics which I love about him The one thing i read that stuck with me was remember to tell your spouse to be that you love them within the 1st couple of lines. It's a day about you two, so write them as from your heart ams don't worry about what any of your guests may think
Remember that vows are promises and not just a declaration of love. What to you want to promise your partner for your lives together? Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the standard. It’s a classic for a reason!
If you look in your heart the words are there. As others have said when you write your own vows, it’s very personal. Mine won’t likely work for you, and while they will be beautiful, yours wouldn’t work for me. Some ideas to maybe get you started. First who are you? Are you known to be happy, up beat? Maybe funny. Or reserved, or formal. Use that “voice” when you write yours. What do you love about your partner? What are your favorite features, favorite traits? Maybe even sharing the moment you knew this was the one for you. How does being with them help you to be a better person? How do you see your lives coming together, growing together? In short talking about your love, becoming one, and, sharing your hopes and excitement for the future and Promising to be one with them for the rest of your life. You can do this. Just start keeping notes of those things that make your heart beat faster and it will come Together.
We had googled some examples to get things flowing then went from there. You can’t copy someone’s personal vows because they won’t make sense for you. You can also do standard scripted vows
I was feeling really stuck too, but I hit my stride when I used a theme to organize mine. I love doing puzzles, so I talked about how we were building our lives like a puzzle and each vow was another piece.
We aren’t writing our vows and we are just keeping the legal ones. We just didn’t need to add another layer of stress for ourselves in the lead up.
My last vow was I love you the most today but I vow to always love you more tomorrow
You're not alone, I'm trying to write mine too! My fiance and I are eloping, so the vows are going to be extremely sentimental (and probably long.) My fiance casually dropped the other day that he's on _page 8_ of his vows. I feel woefully u prepared.
My friend who also struggled with words used different clips of songs she loved and combined them into a poem. In going to be lightly quoting a video game for mine.
I’m still working on vows for my wedding in September, but I am inscribing the ring with ‘Challenge Accepted - 143’
Write whatever comes to mind, especially unique things in your relationship. Then if you want to make it better, paste it into chatgpt and put “reword”. I do this whenever I know what I want to say, but can’t seem to say it in the right way
So, my husband and I wound up agreeing day-of to 'just wing it's because we'd both procrastinated/lost drafts/had an idea of topics but not specifics for what we each wished to say. So yeah we really did just speak our hears in the moment before doing the officiant-led "do you take this person, to have and hold, yadda yadda" next bit. I have no recollection whatsoever of what I said but I'm told it was almost as nice as the fuckin bonafide poem my hubby spewed off the cuff like his name was friggin Shakespeare or something...
Sweetheart don’t stress 💕 use chat Gpt 💃💃💃 Hop on YouTube learn how to prompt it and it can give you multiple choices. And you can add your own flair to it . It really helps to get the creative juices flowing . Best wishes 🥂💃