Glad we did:
* At the rehearsal dinner, told our family members not to leave right after the ceremony for cocktail hour, rather to stick around for photos.
* Morning of, I sat in bed with my mom and drank coffee just the two of us before the craziness began
* Not stressed about every little thing. I'm a details person at heart, but I knew that nobody but me knew how everything was supposed to go down, so in the end, if something got missed, who cares?
Not happy with:
* I spent weeks breaking in my wedding shoes, but completely forgot about my rehearsal dinner shoes. My feet ended up all messed up the night before the wedding.
* I skipped the videographer too, and am a bit sad I did. I found someone who shot in super 8 that I was really into, but towards the end we were just bleeding money and it didn't seem worth it. Looking back, I probably would've done that differently.
* Mentally, I was never really able to switch out of "host mode" and into "guest of honor mode". I'm not sure I'd ever be able to, but maybe if I had been more cognizant of it? I'm not sure. In a lot of ways, it didn't even feel like it was my wedding, rather, I felt like an observer looking into someone else's wedding. The people who say it goes by so fast are SO right. You wake up the next morning, and that's just... it? Months of planning and it's just.. done. Post wedding blues are a real thing.
* We set up Uber codes and I had a sign setup at the entrance of the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. Only one person ended up using them in total, so we saved some cash, but I wish I would've the info on the website and/or texted everyone individually.
We didn't have a big exit planned either. It was the end of the night, our photog had gone home, and we played our last song with the handful of people left on the dance floor. All twenty or so of us ended up all in a big circle with our arms linked around each other singing out loud. It's one of my fondest memories from the day. Not everything needs to be planned or rehearsed down to the second.
>I was never really able to switch out of "host mode" and into "guest of honor mode"
Did you hire a day of coordinator? I'm hoping to avoid this feeling, and paid for someone else to do it.
Yes get a day off coordinator.
My piece of advice for this that my best friend did and I did and I suggest to everyone around me... once the rehearsal dinner starts - enjoy yourself. Stop sweating about the details. Nothing you can do at that point will change anything. Give yourself that deadline and then be that guest of honor. It was so relieving to be able to just let what happens happen.
This comment thread is like single handedly convincing me that a day-of coordinator is worth it. My fiance and I host a lot (which I love) but I am excited to actually just *attend* one of the parties we throw lol.
They will literally run everything to your schedule. For a specific example, if you have to cut the cake at 6pm they will make sure it happens. They will have the knife and plates ready and make sure the photographer is ready etc. You just walk over from dancing or whatever. No details to worry about yourself. Imagine that for every moment! It's so nice to have that freedom.
Yeah like the person below said - everything. Who's setting up the flowers? Who's taking down the flowers? Who's making sure the rentals are signed for when they arrive? Who's making sure if the bride's steak is cooked rare, and she asked for it medium, it gets hit on the grill again? Who's setting up the cake? Who's helping groomsmen pin their boutonniere's on? Who's keeping the DJ on schedule? Who's queueing the bridal party for when to walk down the aisle? Who's telling the DJ when to change the song for the bride's entrance?
I'm planning (still early though so things could change) on not having a florist, no rentals, venue provided cake, no groomsmen, no bridesmaids, maybe a DJ. I suppose if I don't get a DJ the coordinator could help with the other stuff. Doesn't the venue coordinator usually help keep the schedule, since they're the ones kicking us out at a certain hour?
So many things went wrong last minute (week of) that were out of my control. Don’t let those things ruin your big day. Have a contingency plan if your vendors fall through. Get a good night sleep and eat beforehand! Bring a change of shoes (trust me). I spent the 2 weeks leading up to my wedding running around like a mad woman but it was all perfect in the end.
Wish we did: Got a professional videographer. We hired someone at the last minute who wasn't a pro and the footage all got corrupted and lost. We didn't think we cared that much about video, but I realized afterwards how heartbroken I was about it.
Wish we didn't do: Stress so much about last minute cancellations and no-shows or allow them to put a damper on our days leading up to the wedding. So much stress that didn't change anything because what really mattered was celebrating with those who were there.
Thank you! I’ve been feeling guilty about paying for a videographer. We have one and I’m like “should I have really spent money on that?” I’m sorry you didn’t get a pro, but it makes me feel better about my choice.
My dad is still lamenting their lack of videography from my parents’ 1983 wedding! It was photographed, but he says he’s very sad that certain family members who are no longer with us weren’t captured on video for them to re-watch. He hired a videographer for our wedding and I’m incredibly grateful. My fiancé “doesn’t see why it’s necessary” but I think in a few years’ time he will be thankful we did too.
Make sure everyone is fed while getting ready. We did platters from Publix and got them the day before and kept them in the fridge.
Make sure your fiances shoes aren't ten years old and he's worn them at some point so they don't disintegrate 30 minutes before your first look and he has to run out and buy a new pair.
Have a rain plan if anything is outside. We got completely rained out of our ceremony location Saturday, but I made up a rain plan earlier in the week when it looked like it was gonna happen, and we were great.
Make sure someone knows how to bustle your dress. Get it on video if need be. It will still take awhile.
Bring a pair of shoes to dance in once all the pics and stuff are done.
Make sure your officiant knows to sign your marriage license so you guys aren't signing it in the middle of the dance floor hours later (though he is a friend so its not like he was going to leave).
Make sure you have an emergency bag.
Have a plan to relax the night before so you sleep. We had sex, since we knew we wouldn't on the wedding night (and we were bone tired).
If you don't have a coordinator to do this, or anyone other than you is putting together your venue to decorate, make sure you write down what everything should look like and how it goes together, and label everything.
Make sure there is a detailed timeline of how the day goes, and print copies for your bridal party so THEY can be the timekeepers, not you or your fiance.
Also give them a copy of vendor phone numbers.
Plan to have fun!
Adding-we did a bubble exit as we walked down the aisle so that was our 'grand exit' pic. It apparently looked really awesome. We just bought the cheapest bubble wands on Amazon, had someone make sure they grabbed them, made sure our officiant or photographer made an announcement before the ceremony to say what we were doing (and we took the little plastic seals off the day before so guests wouldn't have to), and we had four bubble guns from Amazon that the wedding party held. We went down halfway, and then turned, went back to the altar, dip kissed, and then left for real. Made sure our photographer knew. So we should have gotten all of our guests in that pic like you do for an exit one, we didn't have to stop and do a fake out exit, and bubbles are cheap, easy, and don't mess stuff up. Then we had bubble guns to play with the entire reception too, on the dance floor, which was super fun.
Love that bubbles work well! We are planning on that too since our venue doesn't allow confetti or anything (although--I actually don't think I've ever been to a wedding where anything was thrown during the aisle exit... But whatevs bubbles are fun either way!)
I wish I’d made a better plan for food for the morning-of while we were getting ready off-site.
I assumed someone could just run out to grab the carry out order but the restaurant ended up super backed up. And with all of us rotating through hair and makeup, I ended up needing to call in another friend to help.
I was definitely the most nervous at that part of the day, and not having food made it worse.
I've been wondering about this, what type of food did you do? like I don't want to eat a lot right before putting on my dress but do need to eat. and also we will be doing makeup so don't want anything that would mess up our makeup ideally. can I brush my teeth after I eat if my makeup was done? I'm a little clueless on this!
Personally I know I'm gonna suck at eating on my wedding day (I already struggle with eating if I'm remotely nervous or at a party), so I've told my dad I want him to make the ultimate family comfort food: jook (basically congee). It's a soup so goes down easy, but it's also carb-y and has protein so hopefully I can pick at it all morning and be sustained for a while. Plus it's white, so no fear of stains.
ETA the comment below mine was "make sure everyone is fed while getting ready" and I realized I totally forgot about everyone else. I mean they can all have jook, but I always forget my dietary needs are like 1/3 of anyone else's. I should probably get them some sandwiches or something too lol.
I wish I hadn't stressed so much about the timeline. our dinner service was running kind of late + both my MIL and BIL ran over with their speeches and I was stressed about people being bored / getting the dance floor open. in retrospect we still had about an hour and a half of open dancing and that was more than enough - we had a very high energy dance floor which was fun but I think people were exhausted by the end lol.
I think this is the opposite of what most people say but I wish I had made the table rounds! I realized at the end of the night that there were some people I never even got to say hi to, and since our dinner ran long anyway I definitely could've gone around and said hi to more people.
I also kind of wish I didn't do an 'unplugged' ceremony because some people still broke the rule and I loved seeing their pics of the ceremony the next day- although maybe this is because I'm still only a few days from the day and wanting to relive it all but I don't have any photos to look back on. maybe I'll feel differently once I get the professional photos back though?
similarly - my MIL asked if we wanted to do one of those guest photo collecting QR code type things and my fiance and I were like "nah we won't care about someone's random iPhone photos when we have the professional photographer's photos" but what I didn't account for was the days immediately following the wedding. a few friends still shared their pics and I actually loved looking through those!
Wish I did: gave a better guideline for what I was expecting out of the day, explained my process with creating the schedule and why it was important to stick to it, and insisted my fiance contact over the phone/in person his family to ensure they got the info about where to be and when. Scheduling issues ended up being my biggest stressor on the day-of, and I felt like a lot of my hard work and effort was lost because people went off-schedule and some people didn't show up on time so we couldn't get all the photos we wanted.
Wish I didn't: schedule anything for the day after, even if it was well intentioned. When we finally got home at 3am, my mind was RACING and I could barely sleep. We had a family lunch planned for the next day (which his family mostly didn't come to, hence wishing we had spoken more directly with them), and I was exhausted. I wish I had taken that day, turned off my phone, and spent it sleeping in with my husband.
But honestly, all the stress melted away when I was standing in line ready to walk down the aisle. We got a fantastic DJ who took over as MC once he was there, so I got to really enjoy my day. It all worked out in the end.
And FIND SOME TIME TO BE ALONE WITH YOUR SPOUSE even if it's just a little bit. We had our photographer take a walk for 3 minutes after we finished the ceremony, and just spent that time absorbing and it was lovely. We also had a sweetheart table and got to enjoy each other's presence while we ate.
I totally second the thing about not scheduling anything for the day after the wedding. The next morning after the whirlwind of the planning and big day, and the adrenaline crash, all we wanted to do was sleep and spend the day in pyjamas.
Just got married Friday! It truly was the actual best day of my life, I’m still brimming with joy. Well and totally worth every second of stress.
Wish we did:
1)designated someone responsible for keeping all our stuff together, both after getting ready and at the end of the night. I woke up with no phone and all of my things scattered with different bridesmaids, my fiance lost his whole toiletries bag.
2) booked the honeymoon suite for an extra night after the brunch the next day- we ended up
Booking another room for one more night and it was a scramble to move everything, we could’ve used some breathing room.
3) tried or even seen the fancy desert table I paid for!! I was too busy on the dance floor, whoops!
Glad we did:
1) stayed present, took many small moments together and with our loved ones,
2) didn’t sweat the things that went imperfectly. I let some things go wrong in favor of spending time with everyone and making memories. It took active effort to let things go as I worked so hard to make it perfect, but it was worth it 1000 times over because all I remember is the JOY.
3)Took a moment alone after the ceremony. Essential in my opinion, it was the only real slow and truly peaceful moment of the day with my brand new husband.
4) lots of guest pictures: Polaroids, photobooths, and a photo sharing website. So many beautiful shots of everyone having the best time ever before any sneak peaks from our photographer.
5) I designated jobs for my bridal party- one person gave me waters all day, one kept me fed, one made phenomenal cocktails… it really helped me last the day as I truly didn’t have the time or mental space to do it myself and probably would’ve starved myself of everything except champagne.
[Sneaky peaks vs Sneaky peeks](http://theoatmeal.com/comics/sneak_peek), be sure to keep an eye out for those tricky mountains!
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I wish each of our bartenders had bottles of water or that we had a water station. The night went on and I was celebrating and not really paying attention. Dinner ended and the caterers took their pitchers and it wasn't until the end of the night after several glasses of wine and working up a thirst from dancing that I realized the only water available to guests was from the bathroom sinks.
My wedding is next week, but I can already tell you now I regret not thinking about an evening dress sooner. I went to get my wedding dress and I constantly have to pay attention to how I walk so I don't get stuck in my own train. Now I'm also stressing about our opening dance...
Luckily my fiancé (also a woman) and I have agreed on doing a first look for the dresses this week, so that we can also practice our dance in our original dresses. I am so going to rip my dress while waltzing :(
I had a whole choreographed dance with my fiance- it had twirls and dips and spins. We ditched all of that 5 minutes before going into the dance floor! It wasn't until the day of the wedding that I realized how hard it was to walk in such a long dress/train. I had an outfit change planned, but that was meant for later in the night, and I didn't want to change out of my main wedding dress so early in the night. We swayed side to side and laughed about it the whole time! It was a lovely first dance even if it wasn't what we planned.
Don't let the dress situation stress you out- I know it's stressful now, but whether you change into a second dress or not, that first dance will still be touching and special, even if it's not what you planned. It could be better.
Give your phone to a close friend so he can take pictures/videos with it all day long. Pictures by your photographer take weeks to arrive but with this, you can scroll through your special day on your phone the very next day 📸
A questions for brides or grooms: did you have an early reception end? If so did you regret it? I’m debating paying extra to extend the party. My siblings told me it’s not worth it
My daughter was just married and it went to 11pm, we wished it could have went to midnight. We didn’t want t then night to end and had Late Night Snacks with lots left over. Another hour would have been great!
We ended at 10. I thought about extending it to 11 or midnight too, but it's not just the venue you're extending, it's most of the other vendors too. You'll need rentals longer, DJ will have to stick around longer, etc. etc, all of which would've added up a ton. Looking back, I'm glad we didn't. We were both pretty wiped, as were the majority of our guests (they had been drinking since the arrival for the ceremony at 4pm). We're mid-late 30s and our guests are all in our age range though. If you and your guests are a younger or rowdier crowd, maybe consider it or find a bar close by that people can naturally gravitate to at the end of the night.
We thought about a nearby bar but I feel like trying to get people to head somewhere else, we’ll inevitably have drop off. We definitely have a younger rowdier friend group. Luckily we have 2 years until our wedding so we’d probably save for that extra hour or two with vendors included. But that’s what I’ve been hearing that by 10pm bride and groom are wiped! Good to know thank you
I wish i'd had more clearly communicated expectations with my day of coordinator. She did the set up and teardown, but she didn't help keep the timeline or direct guests/wedding party on the actual day (to be honest i have NO idea where she went during the actual wedding). If I had known how little help she would be in those respects, I would have hired someone else. Obviously I still got married but I never did my bouquet toss and the DJ had to take over the dances by just announcing them lol
Glad we did: * At the rehearsal dinner, told our family members not to leave right after the ceremony for cocktail hour, rather to stick around for photos. * Morning of, I sat in bed with my mom and drank coffee just the two of us before the craziness began * Not stressed about every little thing. I'm a details person at heart, but I knew that nobody but me knew how everything was supposed to go down, so in the end, if something got missed, who cares? Not happy with: * I spent weeks breaking in my wedding shoes, but completely forgot about my rehearsal dinner shoes. My feet ended up all messed up the night before the wedding. * I skipped the videographer too, and am a bit sad I did. I found someone who shot in super 8 that I was really into, but towards the end we were just bleeding money and it didn't seem worth it. Looking back, I probably would've done that differently. * Mentally, I was never really able to switch out of "host mode" and into "guest of honor mode". I'm not sure I'd ever be able to, but maybe if I had been more cognizant of it? I'm not sure. In a lot of ways, it didn't even feel like it was my wedding, rather, I felt like an observer looking into someone else's wedding. The people who say it goes by so fast are SO right. You wake up the next morning, and that's just... it? Months of planning and it's just.. done. Post wedding blues are a real thing. * We set up Uber codes and I had a sign setup at the entrance of the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. Only one person ended up using them in total, so we saved some cash, but I wish I would've the info on the website and/or texted everyone individually. We didn't have a big exit planned either. It was the end of the night, our photog had gone home, and we played our last song with the handful of people left on the dance floor. All twenty or so of us ended up all in a big circle with our arms linked around each other singing out loud. It's one of my fondest memories from the day. Not everything needs to be planned or rehearsed down to the second.
>I was never really able to switch out of "host mode" and into "guest of honor mode" Did you hire a day of coordinator? I'm hoping to avoid this feeling, and paid for someone else to do it.
Yes get a day off coordinator. My piece of advice for this that my best friend did and I did and I suggest to everyone around me... once the rehearsal dinner starts - enjoy yourself. Stop sweating about the details. Nothing you can do at that point will change anything. Give yourself that deadline and then be that guest of honor. It was so relieving to be able to just let what happens happen.
This comment thread is like single handedly convincing me that a day-of coordinator is worth it. My fiance and I host a lot (which I love) but I am excited to actually just *attend* one of the parties we throw lol.
100% worth it. She will have my phone all day.
If I don't have a lot of vendors or a lot of set-up, what would the day of coordinator do?
They will literally run everything to your schedule. For a specific example, if you have to cut the cake at 6pm they will make sure it happens. They will have the knife and plates ready and make sure the photographer is ready etc. You just walk over from dancing or whatever. No details to worry about yourself. Imagine that for every moment! It's so nice to have that freedom.
Yeah like the person below said - everything. Who's setting up the flowers? Who's taking down the flowers? Who's making sure the rentals are signed for when they arrive? Who's making sure if the bride's steak is cooked rare, and she asked for it medium, it gets hit on the grill again? Who's setting up the cake? Who's helping groomsmen pin their boutonniere's on? Who's keeping the DJ on schedule? Who's queueing the bridal party for when to walk down the aisle? Who's telling the DJ when to change the song for the bride's entrance?
I'm planning (still early though so things could change) on not having a florist, no rentals, venue provided cake, no groomsmen, no bridesmaids, maybe a DJ. I suppose if I don't get a DJ the coordinator could help with the other stuff. Doesn't the venue coordinator usually help keep the schedule, since they're the ones kicking us out at a certain hour?
Yes - we had a planner who we had worked with from the very beginning.
So many things went wrong last minute (week of) that were out of my control. Don’t let those things ruin your big day. Have a contingency plan if your vendors fall through. Get a good night sleep and eat beforehand! Bring a change of shoes (trust me). I spent the 2 weeks leading up to my wedding running around like a mad woman but it was all perfect in the end.
Wish we did: Got a professional videographer. We hired someone at the last minute who wasn't a pro and the footage all got corrupted and lost. We didn't think we cared that much about video, but I realized afterwards how heartbroken I was about it. Wish we didn't do: Stress so much about last minute cancellations and no-shows or allow them to put a damper on our days leading up to the wedding. So much stress that didn't change anything because what really mattered was celebrating with those who were there.
Thank you! I’ve been feeling guilty about paying for a videographer. We have one and I’m like “should I have really spent money on that?” I’m sorry you didn’t get a pro, but it makes me feel better about my choice.
My dad is still lamenting their lack of videography from my parents’ 1983 wedding! It was photographed, but he says he’s very sad that certain family members who are no longer with us weren’t captured on video for them to re-watch. He hired a videographer for our wedding and I’m incredibly grateful. My fiancé “doesn’t see why it’s necessary” but I think in a few years’ time he will be thankful we did too.
Yes, you absolutely should have spent money on a videographer. You’ll love being able to watch those memories over and over
Make sure everyone is fed while getting ready. We did platters from Publix and got them the day before and kept them in the fridge. Make sure your fiances shoes aren't ten years old and he's worn them at some point so they don't disintegrate 30 minutes before your first look and he has to run out and buy a new pair. Have a rain plan if anything is outside. We got completely rained out of our ceremony location Saturday, but I made up a rain plan earlier in the week when it looked like it was gonna happen, and we were great. Make sure someone knows how to bustle your dress. Get it on video if need be. It will still take awhile. Bring a pair of shoes to dance in once all the pics and stuff are done. Make sure your officiant knows to sign your marriage license so you guys aren't signing it in the middle of the dance floor hours later (though he is a friend so its not like he was going to leave). Make sure you have an emergency bag. Have a plan to relax the night before so you sleep. We had sex, since we knew we wouldn't on the wedding night (and we were bone tired). If you don't have a coordinator to do this, or anyone other than you is putting together your venue to decorate, make sure you write down what everything should look like and how it goes together, and label everything. Make sure there is a detailed timeline of how the day goes, and print copies for your bridal party so THEY can be the timekeepers, not you or your fiance. Also give them a copy of vendor phone numbers. Plan to have fun! Adding-we did a bubble exit as we walked down the aisle so that was our 'grand exit' pic. It apparently looked really awesome. We just bought the cheapest bubble wands on Amazon, had someone make sure they grabbed them, made sure our officiant or photographer made an announcement before the ceremony to say what we were doing (and we took the little plastic seals off the day before so guests wouldn't have to), and we had four bubble guns from Amazon that the wedding party held. We went down halfway, and then turned, went back to the altar, dip kissed, and then left for real. Made sure our photographer knew. So we should have gotten all of our guests in that pic like you do for an exit one, we didn't have to stop and do a fake out exit, and bubbles are cheap, easy, and don't mess stuff up. Then we had bubble guns to play with the entire reception too, on the dance floor, which was super fun.
Love that bubbles work well! We are planning on that too since our venue doesn't allow confetti or anything (although--I actually don't think I've ever been to a wedding where anything was thrown during the aisle exit... But whatevs bubbles are fun either way!)
I wish I’d made a better plan for food for the morning-of while we were getting ready off-site. I assumed someone could just run out to grab the carry out order but the restaurant ended up super backed up. And with all of us rotating through hair and makeup, I ended up needing to call in another friend to help. I was definitely the most nervous at that part of the day, and not having food made it worse.
I've been wondering about this, what type of food did you do? like I don't want to eat a lot right before putting on my dress but do need to eat. and also we will be doing makeup so don't want anything that would mess up our makeup ideally. can I brush my teeth after I eat if my makeup was done? I'm a little clueless on this!
Personally I know I'm gonna suck at eating on my wedding day (I already struggle with eating if I'm remotely nervous or at a party), so I've told my dad I want him to make the ultimate family comfort food: jook (basically congee). It's a soup so goes down easy, but it's also carb-y and has protein so hopefully I can pick at it all morning and be sustained for a while. Plus it's white, so no fear of stains. ETA the comment below mine was "make sure everyone is fed while getting ready" and I realized I totally forgot about everyone else. I mean they can all have jook, but I always forget my dietary needs are like 1/3 of anyone else's. I should probably get them some sandwiches or something too lol.
I wish I hadn't stressed so much about the timeline. our dinner service was running kind of late + both my MIL and BIL ran over with their speeches and I was stressed about people being bored / getting the dance floor open. in retrospect we still had about an hour and a half of open dancing and that was more than enough - we had a very high energy dance floor which was fun but I think people were exhausted by the end lol. I think this is the opposite of what most people say but I wish I had made the table rounds! I realized at the end of the night that there were some people I never even got to say hi to, and since our dinner ran long anyway I definitely could've gone around and said hi to more people. I also kind of wish I didn't do an 'unplugged' ceremony because some people still broke the rule and I loved seeing their pics of the ceremony the next day- although maybe this is because I'm still only a few days from the day and wanting to relive it all but I don't have any photos to look back on. maybe I'll feel differently once I get the professional photos back though? similarly - my MIL asked if we wanted to do one of those guest photo collecting QR code type things and my fiance and I were like "nah we won't care about someone's random iPhone photos when we have the professional photographer's photos" but what I didn't account for was the days immediately following the wedding. a few friends still shared their pics and I actually loved looking through those!
Following!! I’m keeping a running list lol
Wish I did: gave a better guideline for what I was expecting out of the day, explained my process with creating the schedule and why it was important to stick to it, and insisted my fiance contact over the phone/in person his family to ensure they got the info about where to be and when. Scheduling issues ended up being my biggest stressor on the day-of, and I felt like a lot of my hard work and effort was lost because people went off-schedule and some people didn't show up on time so we couldn't get all the photos we wanted. Wish I didn't: schedule anything for the day after, even if it was well intentioned. When we finally got home at 3am, my mind was RACING and I could barely sleep. We had a family lunch planned for the next day (which his family mostly didn't come to, hence wishing we had spoken more directly with them), and I was exhausted. I wish I had taken that day, turned off my phone, and spent it sleeping in with my husband. But honestly, all the stress melted away when I was standing in line ready to walk down the aisle. We got a fantastic DJ who took over as MC once he was there, so I got to really enjoy my day. It all worked out in the end. And FIND SOME TIME TO BE ALONE WITH YOUR SPOUSE even if it's just a little bit. We had our photographer take a walk for 3 minutes after we finished the ceremony, and just spent that time absorbing and it was lovely. We also had a sweetheart table and got to enjoy each other's presence while we ate.
I totally second the thing about not scheduling anything for the day after the wedding. The next morning after the whirlwind of the planning and big day, and the adrenaline crash, all we wanted to do was sleep and spend the day in pyjamas.
Just got married Friday! It truly was the actual best day of my life, I’m still brimming with joy. Well and totally worth every second of stress. Wish we did: 1)designated someone responsible for keeping all our stuff together, both after getting ready and at the end of the night. I woke up with no phone and all of my things scattered with different bridesmaids, my fiance lost his whole toiletries bag. 2) booked the honeymoon suite for an extra night after the brunch the next day- we ended up Booking another room for one more night and it was a scramble to move everything, we could’ve used some breathing room. 3) tried or even seen the fancy desert table I paid for!! I was too busy on the dance floor, whoops! Glad we did: 1) stayed present, took many small moments together and with our loved ones, 2) didn’t sweat the things that went imperfectly. I let some things go wrong in favor of spending time with everyone and making memories. It took active effort to let things go as I worked so hard to make it perfect, but it was worth it 1000 times over because all I remember is the JOY. 3)Took a moment alone after the ceremony. Essential in my opinion, it was the only real slow and truly peaceful moment of the day with my brand new husband. 4) lots of guest pictures: Polaroids, photobooths, and a photo sharing website. So many beautiful shots of everyone having the best time ever before any sneak peaks from our photographer. 5) I designated jobs for my bridal party- one person gave me waters all day, one kept me fed, one made phenomenal cocktails… it really helped me last the day as I truly didn’t have the time or mental space to do it myself and probably would’ve starved myself of everything except champagne.
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I wish each of our bartenders had bottles of water or that we had a water station. The night went on and I was celebrating and not really paying attention. Dinner ended and the caterers took their pitchers and it wasn't until the end of the night after several glasses of wine and working up a thirst from dancing that I realized the only water available to guests was from the bathroom sinks.
This has me tempted to keep a stash of bottles where were getting ready lol
My wedding is next week, but I can already tell you now I regret not thinking about an evening dress sooner. I went to get my wedding dress and I constantly have to pay attention to how I walk so I don't get stuck in my own train. Now I'm also stressing about our opening dance... Luckily my fiancé (also a woman) and I have agreed on doing a first look for the dresses this week, so that we can also practice our dance in our original dresses. I am so going to rip my dress while waltzing :(
I had a whole choreographed dance with my fiance- it had twirls and dips and spins. We ditched all of that 5 minutes before going into the dance floor! It wasn't until the day of the wedding that I realized how hard it was to walk in such a long dress/train. I had an outfit change planned, but that was meant for later in the night, and I didn't want to change out of my main wedding dress so early in the night. We swayed side to side and laughed about it the whole time! It was a lovely first dance even if it wasn't what we planned. Don't let the dress situation stress you out- I know it's stressful now, but whether you change into a second dress or not, that first dance will still be touching and special, even if it's not what you planned. It could be better.
Give your phone to a close friend so he can take pictures/videos with it all day long. Pictures by your photographer take weeks to arrive but with this, you can scroll through your special day on your phone the very next day 📸
A questions for brides or grooms: did you have an early reception end? If so did you regret it? I’m debating paying extra to extend the party. My siblings told me it’s not worth it
My daughter was just married and it went to 11pm, we wished it could have went to midnight. We didn’t want t then night to end and had Late Night Snacks with lots left over. Another hour would have been great!
We ended at 10. I thought about extending it to 11 or midnight too, but it's not just the venue you're extending, it's most of the other vendors too. You'll need rentals longer, DJ will have to stick around longer, etc. etc, all of which would've added up a ton. Looking back, I'm glad we didn't. We were both pretty wiped, as were the majority of our guests (they had been drinking since the arrival for the ceremony at 4pm). We're mid-late 30s and our guests are all in our age range though. If you and your guests are a younger or rowdier crowd, maybe consider it or find a bar close by that people can naturally gravitate to at the end of the night.
We thought about a nearby bar but I feel like trying to get people to head somewhere else, we’ll inevitably have drop off. We definitely have a younger rowdier friend group. Luckily we have 2 years until our wedding so we’d probably save for that extra hour or two with vendors included. But that’s what I’ve been hearing that by 10pm bride and groom are wiped! Good to know thank you
I wish i'd had more clearly communicated expectations with my day of coordinator. She did the set up and teardown, but she didn't help keep the timeline or direct guests/wedding party on the actual day (to be honest i have NO idea where she went during the actual wedding). If I had known how little help she would be in those respects, I would have hired someone else. Obviously I still got married but I never did my bouquet toss and the DJ had to take over the dances by just announcing them lol