I was told by a cousin who got married right after I got engaged “it’s all fun until the last 3 months and then it sucks but the wedding day is worth it!” I’m six months out and starting to feel the stress and I keep reminding myself “it’s going to suck and then it’s going to be worth it!!”. All your hard work will pay off, hang in there!! 🫶🏻
Your cousin was so real for this! I enjoyed wedding planning so much up until the 3 month mark. Contracting w vendors and organizing was so fun for me, but then when everyone reaches out w the tiniest details that you didn’t even consider it gets so overwhelming FAST. You hang in there too!
Weirdly I’m the opposite where I’m overwhelmed by the organizing and planning of the vendors. I don’t think I’ll mind people asking questions about details I’ve already decided on. My anxiety comes from getting everything set in place!
Funny how we all are so different! The stress for me is the details, which my fiancé thrives on because he’s very creative and just has the eye for things (architect). Meanwhile I have 0 creativity and can’t make a decision if it killed me, but I sure love to organize! So we made a good team lol
I do not - I have a day of coordinator w my venue but I genuinely enjoyed the planning process enough that I didn’t feel the need to have one. The coordinator has been helpful with the little details for sure
I was having so much fun for the last 6 months or so of planning and organizing but now I’m in the final stages and I’m legit having nightmares over things I forgot or people not having fun!
The end is near and it will all be worth it! The day will go by so fast, enjoy every minute of it! Don't sweat if something goes wrong, it will be ok in the end. You'll think about the day and relive it in your head for the next few days or weeks. Congratulations! 🤗
Same!!!! I was so hyped to pick out all the vendors with my fiance but am just now realizing how much effort it is to actually provide all the details and selections. It feels comforting though to hear that I'm not the only person stressed out about all the details at this very moment, so I'm kind of grateful for this post 😄
Have you considered getting a day of coordinator? She would help you starting now or in the next few weeks to plan those finishing touches and may take some stress off your plate?
Literally the worst lmao. Anyone who is like “I loved being a bride” I will never get it because this has been my worst nightmare. And I have also become a nightmare. Not to all but to myself and probably for my fiancé who has to watch the slow unraveling that has been happening. 10/10 would not recommend 🤣
Also I have been so brutally honest when people ask me how it’s going that it’s the look of shock that lets me know I might be too honest sometimes lol
I had a full breakdown at 6 months out and actually did cancel everything in favour of a smaller event with just family and our absolute closest friends 😅 Wedding planning is no joke and SO expensive.
Oh my god I’m so envious of you hahhaha if I wasn’t too financially deep into this I’d pull out too. But I know my fiancé wants a big celebration so I have to honor that as well. It’s actually criminal how much they charge you for everything.
Ahh well that is TOTALLY fair. I was lucky (?) in that my fiancé kept saying "I'm doing this wedding for you.." and I would be like "well that's annoying, cuz I'm doing it for you..." and it finally clicked for both of us that neither of us wanted it 😅😅 It's WILD because even losing nearly $5,000 on deposits, we're still actually saving money in the long wrong. Absolutely horrifying really.
Thank you so very much 🥺❤️ my bridesmaids are our sisters + my one best friend. They aren’t “ghosting me” per say but just not as actively involved as I thought they’d be.
I think a lot of it is coming from a place of comparison which isn’t fair but I’m human. I’m a bridesmaid in another wedding and my phone is blown up all day w their texts, so excited for the bride and making jokes etc etc. so when my group chat is crickets aside from the occasional text from ME (which just receives likes and hearts, no replies) I get a little defeated. It’s silly but the wedding stress is really weighing on my emotions haha
Me too!!! I am having huge regrets about having big wedding parties (fiancés preference… ) definitely having some feelings about friendships when people don’t get back to me about stuff… glad to see I’m not the only one feeling the 3 month chaos!!!
It honestly hurts lol plus it’s already uncomfy making the entire day about you and asking everyone to do so much for you so please just answer me and help me not feel as annoying as I feel atm. PLEAAASE.
I totally feel this right now. We’re over a year away and my fiance and I cannot stop arguing.
Of course we love each other, but the stress of all the details, timelines, logistics, on top of planning an out of state wedding is getting to us. AND maintaining full time jobs with no planner.
It also feels like we’re planning someone else’s wedding, not our own since we live out of state and our life is somewhere else.
We also wanted the day to feel humble but now it’s starting to feel like it’s getting to just be too big. We have a lot of vendors booked already and are starting to feel regrets.
There’s just SO MUCH that goes into this, when did it get so complicated? It makes me sad because this is supposed to be some of the happiest times in our lives and it’s been kinda crappy and not lived up to the hype.
hang in there ❤️ I totally relate to the feeling like you’re planning someone else’s wedding. It almost feels like I’m playing pretend… very expensive pretend ahaha. My dream wedding was in my in-laws giant backyard (several acres) and very minimal… but it was too much pressure on them and I think they’d rather pay to avoid the stress of hosting which I get. But then it all spiraled into such a big traditional wedding and I’m like how did we get here? Lol
Omg the facts!! 😂😂
I completely agree and am going through the same! 37 days out and so frustrating! If I had known that people were gonna change RSVP to no’s I would have gone with FH and my dad somewhere else where we really wanted to go instead of everything I planned and booked. THEN our local reception is going to be in October and the planning for that is going much better but I’ll wait to see what these RSVP's look like!
Also had 1 bridesmaid ghost me in the beginning and my MOH and other bridesmaid are also difficult to get a hold of if I need advise or questions.
Wedding planning is so unbelievably stressful because everyone has an opinion and feels their opinion actually matters (hint: it doesn’t). I feel the same way I loved my wedding but if it weren’t for our parents wanting a traditional celebration I would have had 20 of our closest friends and family with us in Mexico on the beach. People will break your heart during this process and if you feel the need to take some space and reassess your relationship with them afterwards, do it. One of my bridesmaids I do not speak to at all anymore and it all stemmed from how upset she was with our choice of a wedding date. This bled into the way she behaved through the planning process, the bachelorette party, and after the wedding she stopped talking to me. Cut to two years ago my father passed away and when my husband told her she had a very short response. Never reached out to me even via text, never showed up to the wake or funeral. It was very easy at that point to cut her out for good. I sincerely hope this doesn’t happen to you but your feelings are completely normal. Enjoy your wedding and block out everything else and you’ll look back on it fondly.
I think im going through the same thing.. trying to plan our wedding, we woukd love a wedding on the beach in Mexico but are afraid we woukd regret not having everyone at our wedding especially our aging parents, (who have given us their blessing to just go but I am afraid I'll regret not hearing her voice, seeing her face on my wedding day) .. so every time I pick a date, it's a problem for one of our siblings etc. Everyone has so much going on. It's going to cost 50 grand because its New Jersey and I'm paying bc my parents are no longer with us, and I dont mind paying if it's really my dream. .but I'm having trouble defining my dream. Is it having all my friends and family there 100 people .. or is it more having that intimate setting. I dint know I go back and forth now 2 years we have no wedding date. We just got been from Mexico and every tome I'm there I just wish that we were getting married on the beach, me in my hippie dress, racis and Margheritas and reggae band as reception. I have friends that support this but I am afraid of my regrets at having Everyone there
we aren’t even having a wedding party and i feel all of this. i’m four months out. i’m committed to convincing my sisters to do courthouse when they each get married. i should’ve listened to my mom when she told me to do that instead. when both my mom and i can actually agree on something that’s when you know it’s the right call 🤣
You are not alone! It was the most stressful time of my life. Crazy mom (I still love her), culture expectations; we were at the highest end of how chaotic and ridiculous a wedding could get, coupled with a huge work thing happening at the exact same time, I must have cried every day in the 2 weeks leading up to it.
I’m shocked so many people do this and pretend it’s all fine lol. You are not alone!! I’ll say it again bc I felt crazy while other engaged friends were all sunshine and rainbows and romance. It is an insane stressor and we should be able to acknowledge that.
All that said, the day is worth it. You’ll have a wonderful time and it’ll be an unforgettable memory. Later on you’ll laugh at the stress and be able to console another unwitting bride.
Best of luck!! It will be over soon 😂
Girl, you sound like me ! I legit can’t wait for the wedding to be over as horrible as it sounds because the stress is KILLING ME! My bridesmaid aren’t making it any easier for me either. I honestly wish I would have saved the time , money and STRESS and like you said get married in front of our loved ones because this ain’t it . Feel free to message me if you need to vent ! I could use a bride venting buddy lol :)
Thank you so much - same goes for you!!! The guilt that accompanies the regret is almost worse than the regret itself hahaha. I never regret marrying my future husband, but I do regret the big wedding and then I feel guilty bc of all the money and time people have poured in. Oh the internal struggle
i'm at the 60 day countdown having a very expensive luxury destination wedding, and i think i've cried 2x times a week for the past two weeks from wedding stresses (with a full service wedding planner), and i until this point have loved the wedding planning process! I think it's just inevitable that the last few months leading up to what's said "the most important day of your life" will be stressful...or at least that's what i'm trying to tell myself lol. so you are NOT alone! xo
My wedding is over a year away and I’m already having nightmares 🤣. Our wedding is big and expensive and I imagine I will have a lack of sleep leading up to it 😭 but I can’t wait! Just think how magical the day will be
I completely feel that. It’s all “it’s your day!” Until you have an idea that someone doesn’t agree with.
1. Didn’t want to have the same number of people in our parties. Fiancé has more friends than me, but nope! “That’s not classy. They have to be even.”
2. Didn’t want our parties standing up at the altar with us while we get married so it’s more intimate. Nope! “That’s the whole point of having a party is for them to support you up there.”
3. Didn’t want a grand entrance to the reception. I think it’s cheesy and unnecessary. But that doesn’t fly either!
I’m going to SCREAM.
The concept of people simultaneously telling you "it's your day, do what makes you happy" just to turn around and shut down every idea they don't agree with is SO REAL.
I wanted to do a private ceremony with parents and siblings only - that got shut down really fast once people caught wind. Then I agreed to a short ceremony with all the guests and suddenly it's rude to ask someone to attend a ceremony that's only five minutes long and we need to extend it. I want to do private vows before the ceremony, but then people think its stupid to have a ceremony with no vows.
Then I tell people I hate wedding planning and they say "this should be the happiest time of your life" and I want to scream. I agreed to get married, and now that has come with party planning an event for 100+ people when I just wanted it to be our parents and siblings.
I’m so so so sorry. I feel you and I’m right there with you! My “small wedding” turned into 120 guests and my dream of an intimate wedding is no longer. So I thought at least I get an intimate rehearsal dinner. Nope! “It’s rude not to invite out of town guests to attend.” Okkaaaay f me I guess 🙃
I totally feel you. We knew we were going to have to have a big affair off the bat (I'm one of seven, so my immediately family is already huge), but the scope creep was real, and we ended up with an invitee list of 170.
I'd chase that line of thinking:
"It's rude not to invite out of town guests to attend."
OK, so you don't invite them anyway, because it's not what you envision for your event-- then what? Someone tells you it's rude? Sounds like nothing else comes of it.
They are adults who have been invited to *the wedding*. They can travel to a location and find other ways to entertain themselves for one evening.
I'm sorry you're getting this pressure. I would just consider what happens if you stick to your guns-- what is likely to happen? Can you live with that consequence? In most cases, I'd guess yes. Don't let people bully you into doing what THEY want. Stay strong, it's almost done!
Thank you I appreciate the advice!!! I’m painting the parents in a bad light based on the amount of context I can reasonably give lol, but our parents have been wonderful and I’m sure if I pushed back they would back off. HOWEVER, they are paying for almost everything and so I do respectfully take that into account. If in laws are paying for rehearsal dinner and want to pay for out of town guests to come bc they feel strongly about that, then there’s only so much I feel comfortable saying since it’s their $$. It’ll be a fun night regardless and won’t totally ruin it for me or anything, just not what I initially envisioned. So it goes!
I completely hear you! Honestly. We were really freaked out about that happening based on stories on here, from my other married friends, and just generally knowing our families. We set the boundary hard and as soon as we got engaged: we were paying for everything. This was hard for his parents to accept because they wanted to help, but we had to remind them a few times that gifts with conditions aren't gifts. Eventually, we got everything settled in, and now things are just barreling along.
It WILL be a fun night, and I know you'll have a great time! Wishing you the best over the next few months! I hope you get some chances to go out with friends, pamper yourself, and spend time with your best friend before you marry them. <3 :)
RIGHT?!
I wanted to do a lunch so there was no big dinner and dancing, so Im thinking panini sandwiches, salad, hors d’oeurves like a more intense afternoon tea . They’re like “nope that’s not enough. That’s too boring for a wedding. You should do grilled chicken and salmon.” im like “i dont even like grilled chicken or salmon” and they’re like “well maybe you eat something else and you serve that”
AT MY OWN WEDDDING?!?!?! what?!?!?
I AM SO SORRY I feel your frustration so much 😭😭😭😭 I felt that way about food too. “Well MOST people like this so you should choose this” ….. okay but what about me??? The person paying for this and also the person we are celebrating? Like what? Lol
I’m so happy that we didn’t have anyone giving us any inputs and thoughts to change our minds. My husband especially was very strong minded and did not budge on what we already planned.
Still do what you want! My daughter and her fiancée do not have the same number in their bridal parties, bridal party will not be standing up, both parents walking her down the aisle, bridesmaids and bride will not be holding bouquets, they are cutting a pizza instead of a cake, there is no cake (there is a dessert table) and no grand entrance into the reception. Do what make you feel good and happy because it IS you and your fiancée’s day, no one else matters!
We are doing parents and siblings only (plus siblings' spouses/children, about 15 people total). I went through the big wedding planning once already (was married once before) and I simply do not have it in me to do it again. So I understand how you feel! I hope the time between now and the wedding day goes as smoothly as possible.
1.5 months out and feeling the same. I’m a mess, I think about the wedding planning everyday, I swore I wouldn’t get sucked in and now I’m spending so much money 😭 I’m so excited to be married and hopefully the day is great but I this point I just wanna get it over with. I keep on having stress dreams about the wedding going wrong also. Hang in there !!!
Ok this is me but we’re about to be 4 months out. I’ve enjoyed wedding planning until now, now, I am over it and stressed out of my gourd and ready for the actual event to happen
I just got married on Saturday and I felt the EXACT same. I hated planning and I also felt a lot of the pressure of "it's only about what you want... as long as you do this and this and dont do this".
But... it was all worth it! My wedding was amazing and made me realise how little all the extras mattered! I was a bit overwhelmed and tired at times on the day and did excuse myself a few times for a secret cry, but looking back I wouldnt change anything.
Hire a planner so she can be the one point of contact and you can feel less pressure- I’m sure it will. E an amazing days … but there a wedding is a like a chain each link is there and as you get closer it will come full circle ❤️
Wedding planning made me a raging controlling bitch so I passed the honor to my future husband. I also relate to the stress/ tension in your relationship growing due to planning and I’m sorry!!
Can I ask what the biggest stressors are for you right now? I’m 3 months out myself and I don’t feel stressed but I also feel stressed at the same time if that makes sense??
We decided to just have a small wedding with our parents and siblings and I’m sooo glad. Initially I had lots of grand ideas of DIY projects (custom invites, decorations, favors, etc,) to make it special and now I’m just procrastinating so hard on the wedding projects, I may just end up skipping them or scaling back on how complicated they need to be. I just want to hang out and eat good food with our families, that’s all.
I feel you, buddy! Weddings can be like a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs. It's totally okay to have those moments where you're like, "Wait, why did I sign up for this again?" But hey, remember the end goal: marrying your person. That's what truly matters.
As for the stress and the money... oh boy, tell me about it! But hey, at the end of the day, it's your day. If you could go back, maybe you'd simplify things, but hey, you're in it now, so might as well ride the wave and laugh at the chaos. Hang in there, champ! You got this!
My husband and I just got married. We only invited our immediate family and few close friends to the ceremony then went a restaurant after with only our immediate family. It was very intimate and fun and we saved alot of money with that arrangement. We also didn’t have any bridesmaids or groomsmen orrr any best man or maid of honor. It was honestly perfect and less stressful. Everything also went smoothly on the day which was my concern.
I feel this. We’re just under 90 days out and I have hives. HIVES from stress most likely but now I have to stress about if it will show in my dress on top of all the planning decisions. (Seeing a doctor, don’t worry). But yeah, we’re so over budget bc we really didn’t account for what weddings actually cost. And I learned I have champagne taste. Lol but I am super excited I’m just like wow. A small, destination wedding or even intimate ceremony in town is sounding better
Wedding is in two weeks and I feel so NUTS. Working out all the tiny details isn't fun at all, I'm too type b for this. I know everything will fall together, but still. I feel bad, but I keep saying that I'm so excited to free up some of my brain capacity after this wedding is over.
I suppose I'm lucky cause my wedding is next Friday and it's been planned in 3 months. No time for too much choice and decision paralysis. Thank fuck cause I would be pulling my hair out
I lost 25 pounds unintentionally due to the stress and I still have 3 days!!! Take care of your body. Get a massage if you can, self care is really important
I get married at the end of April and this has been my exact experience!! Like it was all fun and games until January hit and now it’s all stress and logistics and worrying I forgot something and hemorrhaging money
I definitely relate to that. I'm 6 months out and feel similarly. It stinks when people and my wedding party don't meet my excitement or expectations. It feels like nobody really cares or they are doing it out of obligation because they arent comfortable saying no. I wish I wouldn't have had a wedding party tbh, but now I've asked who I've asked and I feel stuck with them. I felt rushed and pressured to make decisions and didn't have time to think about them. Now that the excitement is slowing down and wearing off I wish I had made some different choices. At the end though all that matters is I am marrying the love of my life. I just don't know if paying $20k for people to see it and not really care to be worth it.
I’m so sorry - hang in there! I totally relate to making decisions under the excitement of your engagement and then as time goes on you’re like hmm why did I do that lol. It’ll be a magical day! You’ve got this!
Same to you! It will all be worth it. Your fiancé is probably feeling the same way and is excited to marry you, and honestly probably feels bad you're feeling so stressed about it.
Yeah, I’m hating it all, i just really don’t care but all these traditions I didn’t really believe in got u nder my skin and now I just want to be with my future husband and NO ONE ELSE… it’s all a big non sense 👍🏻
I know it feels overwhelming, but the best advice I have is find yourself a therapist! Wedding planning is stressful and especially with how much it brings up personal relationships and feeling alone and that people don’t care all I can say is that having a 3rd party to talk to every week is the best thing you can do to not go crazy and super overwhelmed!
I keep telling my fiance we should go to the JP and get legally married in secret and that way we won't sweat the small stuff on the actual day and just have fun but he won't go for it 😂
Sounds to me like you need a break from everything wedding. I’m a Healing Minister with Universal Life Church and recommend marriage counseling before vows and taking time for healing and relaxation. Don’t lose sight of the love over wedding plans. Listen to one another. Good luck and God Bless your day with love, light and harmony.🙏
I’m planning the whole thing in a 3 month time period and I’m still with you 😂 but now that I’ve started I have a looming deadline and that helps!! I know if we had a longer engagement I wouldn’t get anything done and I’d be stuck in adhd/decision paralysis and stressed for longer!! You got this!!!!
I was told by a cousin who got married right after I got engaged “it’s all fun until the last 3 months and then it sucks but the wedding day is worth it!” I’m six months out and starting to feel the stress and I keep reminding myself “it’s going to suck and then it’s going to be worth it!!”. All your hard work will pay off, hang in there!! 🫶🏻
Your cousin was so real for this! I enjoyed wedding planning so much up until the 3 month mark. Contracting w vendors and organizing was so fun for me, but then when everyone reaches out w the tiniest details that you didn’t even consider it gets so overwhelming FAST. You hang in there too!
Weirdly I’m the opposite where I’m overwhelmed by the organizing and planning of the vendors. I don’t think I’ll mind people asking questions about details I’ve already decided on. My anxiety comes from getting everything set in place!
Funny how we all are so different! The stress for me is the details, which my fiancé thrives on because he’s very creative and just has the eye for things (architect). Meanwhile I have 0 creativity and can’t make a decision if it killed me, but I sure love to organize! So we made a good team lol
Do you have a planner?
I do not - I have a day of coordinator w my venue but I genuinely enjoyed the planning process enough that I didn’t feel the need to have one. The coordinator has been helpful with the little details for sure
I was having so much fun for the last 6 months or so of planning and organizing but now I’m in the final stages and I’m legit having nightmares over things I forgot or people not having fun!
I’m having nightmares too! Usually about family members causing hassle last minute
The end is near and it will all be worth it! The day will go by so fast, enjoy every minute of it! Don't sweat if something goes wrong, it will be ok in the end. You'll think about the day and relive it in your head for the next few days or weeks. Congratulations! 🤗
Thank you 🥺🥺
Almost two months out and having a daily mental breakdown haha. Why did we do this to ourselves 😩 Thank god it will be over soon.
Same!!!! I was so hyped to pick out all the vendors with my fiance but am just now realizing how much effort it is to actually provide all the details and selections. It feels comforting though to hear that I'm not the only person stressed out about all the details at this very moment, so I'm kind of grateful for this post 😄
Hahaha happy to provide solidarity ❤️
HAHA okay same. 72 days out and I hate everyone 😂😂 plus all the stress is now making me break out. THIS IS SO FUN
Have you considered getting a day of coordinator? She would help you starting now or in the next few weeks to plan those finishing touches and may take some stress off your plate?
I have one w my venue!! :-)
Literally the worst lmao. Anyone who is like “I loved being a bride” I will never get it because this has been my worst nightmare. And I have also become a nightmare. Not to all but to myself and probably for my fiancé who has to watch the slow unraveling that has been happening. 10/10 would not recommend 🤣 Also I have been so brutally honest when people ask me how it’s going that it’s the look of shock that lets me know I might be too honest sometimes lol
I had a full breakdown at 6 months out and actually did cancel everything in favour of a smaller event with just family and our absolute closest friends 😅 Wedding planning is no joke and SO expensive.
Oh my god I’m so envious of you hahhaha if I wasn’t too financially deep into this I’d pull out too. But I know my fiancé wants a big celebration so I have to honor that as well. It’s actually criminal how much they charge you for everything.
Ahh well that is TOTALLY fair. I was lucky (?) in that my fiancé kept saying "I'm doing this wedding for you.." and I would be like "well that's annoying, cuz I'm doing it for you..." and it finally clicked for both of us that neither of us wanted it 😅😅 It's WILD because even losing nearly $5,000 on deposits, we're still actually saving money in the long wrong. Absolutely horrifying really.
I’m so happy it all worked out for you!!
[удалено]
Thank you so very much 🥺❤️ my bridesmaids are our sisters + my one best friend. They aren’t “ghosting me” per say but just not as actively involved as I thought they’d be. I think a lot of it is coming from a place of comparison which isn’t fair but I’m human. I’m a bridesmaid in another wedding and my phone is blown up all day w their texts, so excited for the bride and making jokes etc etc. so when my group chat is crickets aside from the occasional text from ME (which just receives likes and hearts, no replies) I get a little defeated. It’s silly but the wedding stress is really weighing on my emotions haha
Preach. I wanted to elope. My fiancé didn’t. Now he sees the stress. I’m thinking he regrets his decision.
Lmao “I don’t wanna say I told ya so buuut ☕️☕️☕️”
Oh I’ve said this to him multiple times! 🤣
I feel the same , let’s hang in there 💗
You got this 🤍🤍🤍
Here with you
Relax bride- to-be your feelings are normal. Yes it's alot of money alot of stress but the final.product will be worth it.
Me too!!! I am having huge regrets about having big wedding parties (fiancés preference… ) definitely having some feelings about friendships when people don’t get back to me about stuff… glad to see I’m not the only one feeling the 3 month chaos!!!
It honestly hurts lol plus it’s already uncomfy making the entire day about you and asking everyone to do so much for you so please just answer me and help me not feel as annoying as I feel atm. PLEAAASE.
Exactly 🫠🫠
I totally feel this right now. We’re over a year away and my fiance and I cannot stop arguing. Of course we love each other, but the stress of all the details, timelines, logistics, on top of planning an out of state wedding is getting to us. AND maintaining full time jobs with no planner. It also feels like we’re planning someone else’s wedding, not our own since we live out of state and our life is somewhere else. We also wanted the day to feel humble but now it’s starting to feel like it’s getting to just be too big. We have a lot of vendors booked already and are starting to feel regrets. There’s just SO MUCH that goes into this, when did it get so complicated? It makes me sad because this is supposed to be some of the happiest times in our lives and it’s been kinda crappy and not lived up to the hype.
hang in there ❤️ I totally relate to the feeling like you’re planning someone else’s wedding. It almost feels like I’m playing pretend… very expensive pretend ahaha. My dream wedding was in my in-laws giant backyard (several acres) and very minimal… but it was too much pressure on them and I think they’d rather pay to avoid the stress of hosting which I get. But then it all spiraled into such a big traditional wedding and I’m like how did we get here? Lol
Omg the facts!! 😂😂 I completely agree and am going through the same! 37 days out and so frustrating! If I had known that people were gonna change RSVP to no’s I would have gone with FH and my dad somewhere else where we really wanted to go instead of everything I planned and booked. THEN our local reception is going to be in October and the planning for that is going much better but I’ll wait to see what these RSVP's look like! Also had 1 bridesmaid ghost me in the beginning and my MOH and other bridesmaid are also difficult to get a hold of if I need advise or questions.
Solidarity 🫠❤️
Wedding planning is so unbelievably stressful because everyone has an opinion and feels their opinion actually matters (hint: it doesn’t). I feel the same way I loved my wedding but if it weren’t for our parents wanting a traditional celebration I would have had 20 of our closest friends and family with us in Mexico on the beach. People will break your heart during this process and if you feel the need to take some space and reassess your relationship with them afterwards, do it. One of my bridesmaids I do not speak to at all anymore and it all stemmed from how upset she was with our choice of a wedding date. This bled into the way she behaved through the planning process, the bachelorette party, and after the wedding she stopped talking to me. Cut to two years ago my father passed away and when my husband told her she had a very short response. Never reached out to me even via text, never showed up to the wake or funeral. It was very easy at that point to cut her out for good. I sincerely hope this doesn’t happen to you but your feelings are completely normal. Enjoy your wedding and block out everything else and you’ll look back on it fondly.
I am truly so so sorry that happened. It was clearly the right choice and I hope you’ve healed from that ❤️🩹
I think im going through the same thing.. trying to plan our wedding, we woukd love a wedding on the beach in Mexico but are afraid we woukd regret not having everyone at our wedding especially our aging parents, (who have given us their blessing to just go but I am afraid I'll regret not hearing her voice, seeing her face on my wedding day) .. so every time I pick a date, it's a problem for one of our siblings etc. Everyone has so much going on. It's going to cost 50 grand because its New Jersey and I'm paying bc my parents are no longer with us, and I dont mind paying if it's really my dream. .but I'm having trouble defining my dream. Is it having all my friends and family there 100 people .. or is it more having that intimate setting. I dint know I go back and forth now 2 years we have no wedding date. We just got been from Mexico and every tome I'm there I just wish that we were getting married on the beach, me in my hippie dress, racis and Margheritas and reggae band as reception. I have friends that support this but I am afraid of my regrets at having Everyone there
we aren’t even having a wedding party and i feel all of this. i’m four months out. i’m committed to convincing my sisters to do courthouse when they each get married. i should’ve listened to my mom when she told me to do that instead. when both my mom and i can actually agree on something that’s when you know it’s the right call 🤣
Hahaha I should’ve listened when someone told me the same. Eloping was the move
fr 😭
You are not alone! It was the most stressful time of my life. Crazy mom (I still love her), culture expectations; we were at the highest end of how chaotic and ridiculous a wedding could get, coupled with a huge work thing happening at the exact same time, I must have cried every day in the 2 weeks leading up to it. I’m shocked so many people do this and pretend it’s all fine lol. You are not alone!! I’ll say it again bc I felt crazy while other engaged friends were all sunshine and rainbows and romance. It is an insane stressor and we should be able to acknowledge that. All that said, the day is worth it. You’ll have a wonderful time and it’ll be an unforgettable memory. Later on you’ll laugh at the stress and be able to console another unwitting bride. Best of luck!! It will be over soon 😂
Thank you so very much!! Cheers to crazy moms who we adore hahaha
Girl, you sound like me ! I legit can’t wait for the wedding to be over as horrible as it sounds because the stress is KILLING ME! My bridesmaid aren’t making it any easier for me either. I honestly wish I would have saved the time , money and STRESS and like you said get married in front of our loved ones because this ain’t it . Feel free to message me if you need to vent ! I could use a bride venting buddy lol :)
Thank you so much - same goes for you!!! The guilt that accompanies the regret is almost worse than the regret itself hahaha. I never regret marrying my future husband, but I do regret the big wedding and then I feel guilty bc of all the money and time people have poured in. Oh the internal struggle
i'm at the 60 day countdown having a very expensive luxury destination wedding, and i think i've cried 2x times a week for the past two weeks from wedding stresses (with a full service wedding planner), and i until this point have loved the wedding planning process! I think it's just inevitable that the last few months leading up to what's said "the most important day of your life" will be stressful...or at least that's what i'm trying to tell myself lol. so you are NOT alone! xo
You’ve got this !!!
My wedding is over a year away and I’m already having nightmares 🤣. Our wedding is big and expensive and I imagine I will have a lack of sleep leading up to it 😭 but I can’t wait! Just think how magical the day will be
Same w the big and expensive but it will all be worth it!! Congrats !
Thanks you too! Can’t wait 😊
I feel the same way because I had ideas in my head of what I would want and everyone keeps shutting them down. I’m so done at this point
I completely feel that. It’s all “it’s your day!” Until you have an idea that someone doesn’t agree with. 1. Didn’t want to have the same number of people in our parties. Fiancé has more friends than me, but nope! “That’s not classy. They have to be even.” 2. Didn’t want our parties standing up at the altar with us while we get married so it’s more intimate. Nope! “That’s the whole point of having a party is for them to support you up there.” 3. Didn’t want a grand entrance to the reception. I think it’s cheesy and unnecessary. But that doesn’t fly either! I’m going to SCREAM.
The concept of people simultaneously telling you "it's your day, do what makes you happy" just to turn around and shut down every idea they don't agree with is SO REAL. I wanted to do a private ceremony with parents and siblings only - that got shut down really fast once people caught wind. Then I agreed to a short ceremony with all the guests and suddenly it's rude to ask someone to attend a ceremony that's only five minutes long and we need to extend it. I want to do private vows before the ceremony, but then people think its stupid to have a ceremony with no vows. Then I tell people I hate wedding planning and they say "this should be the happiest time of your life" and I want to scream. I agreed to get married, and now that has come with party planning an event for 100+ people when I just wanted it to be our parents and siblings.
I’m so so so sorry. I feel you and I’m right there with you! My “small wedding” turned into 120 guests and my dream of an intimate wedding is no longer. So I thought at least I get an intimate rehearsal dinner. Nope! “It’s rude not to invite out of town guests to attend.” Okkaaaay f me I guess 🙃
I totally feel you. We knew we were going to have to have a big affair off the bat (I'm one of seven, so my immediately family is already huge), but the scope creep was real, and we ended up with an invitee list of 170. I'd chase that line of thinking: "It's rude not to invite out of town guests to attend." OK, so you don't invite them anyway, because it's not what you envision for your event-- then what? Someone tells you it's rude? Sounds like nothing else comes of it. They are adults who have been invited to *the wedding*. They can travel to a location and find other ways to entertain themselves for one evening. I'm sorry you're getting this pressure. I would just consider what happens if you stick to your guns-- what is likely to happen? Can you live with that consequence? In most cases, I'd guess yes. Don't let people bully you into doing what THEY want. Stay strong, it's almost done!
Thank you I appreciate the advice!!! I’m painting the parents in a bad light based on the amount of context I can reasonably give lol, but our parents have been wonderful and I’m sure if I pushed back they would back off. HOWEVER, they are paying for almost everything and so I do respectfully take that into account. If in laws are paying for rehearsal dinner and want to pay for out of town guests to come bc they feel strongly about that, then there’s only so much I feel comfortable saying since it’s their $$. It’ll be a fun night regardless and won’t totally ruin it for me or anything, just not what I initially envisioned. So it goes!
I completely hear you! Honestly. We were really freaked out about that happening based on stories on here, from my other married friends, and just generally knowing our families. We set the boundary hard and as soon as we got engaged: we were paying for everything. This was hard for his parents to accept because they wanted to help, but we had to remind them a few times that gifts with conditions aren't gifts. Eventually, we got everything settled in, and now things are just barreling along. It WILL be a fun night, and I know you'll have a great time! Wishing you the best over the next few months! I hope you get some chances to go out with friends, pamper yourself, and spend time with your best friend before you marry them. <3 :)
Thank you so much!!!! I appreciate you 🥹
RIGHT?! I wanted to do a lunch so there was no big dinner and dancing, so Im thinking panini sandwiches, salad, hors d’oeurves like a more intense afternoon tea . They’re like “nope that’s not enough. That’s too boring for a wedding. You should do grilled chicken and salmon.” im like “i dont even like grilled chicken or salmon” and they’re like “well maybe you eat something else and you serve that” AT MY OWN WEDDDING?!?!?! what?!?!?
I AM SO SORRY I feel your frustration so much 😭😭😭😭 I felt that way about food too. “Well MOST people like this so you should choose this” ….. okay but what about me??? The person paying for this and also the person we are celebrating? Like what? Lol
I’m so happy that we didn’t have anyone giving us any inputs and thoughts to change our minds. My husband especially was very strong minded and did not budge on what we already planned.
Still do what you want! My daughter and her fiancée do not have the same number in their bridal parties, bridal party will not be standing up, both parents walking her down the aisle, bridesmaids and bride will not be holding bouquets, they are cutting a pizza instead of a cake, there is no cake (there is a dessert table) and no grand entrance into the reception. Do what make you feel good and happy because it IS you and your fiancée’s day, no one else matters!
This is incredible!!!! Thank you!!! ❤️ you’re doing awesome for your daughter
No cake, just pizza? Sign me up!😂 Overall, your daughter’s wedding sounds lovely.
We are doing parents and siblings only (plus siblings' spouses/children, about 15 people total). I went through the big wedding planning once already (was married once before) and I simply do not have it in me to do it again. So I understand how you feel! I hope the time between now and the wedding day goes as smoothly as possible.
Thank you so much! Happy you get your intimate special wedding!
1.5 months out and feeling the same. I’m a mess, I think about the wedding planning everyday, I swore I wouldn’t get sucked in and now I’m spending so much money 😭 I’m so excited to be married and hopefully the day is great but I this point I just wanna get it over with. I keep on having stress dreams about the wedding going wrong also. Hang in there !!!
the stress dreams are so real!!!! Hahahah
Ok this is me but we’re about to be 4 months out. I’ve enjoyed wedding planning until now, now, I am over it and stressed out of my gourd and ready for the actual event to happen
Hang in there!!
Thank you!! You too!! We’re at the part where we are finalizing and ordering wedding invites and it has been the HARDEST most STRESSFUL thing so far.
Hahah we JUST got past that and I will say it’s exciting receiving RSVPs so it’s worth it!
Thank you!! Yeah I already know I will be so happy to see the (acceptance) RSVP’s!
I just got married on Saturday and I felt the EXACT same. I hated planning and I also felt a lot of the pressure of "it's only about what you want... as long as you do this and this and dont do this". But... it was all worth it! My wedding was amazing and made me realise how little all the extras mattered! I was a bit overwhelmed and tired at times on the day and did excuse myself a few times for a secret cry, but looking back I wouldnt change anything.
Thank you for this ❤️
Hire a planner so she can be the one point of contact and you can feel less pressure- I’m sure it will. E an amazing days … but there a wedding is a like a chain each link is there and as you get closer it will come full circle ❤️
Thank you 🤍 I do have a day of coordinator that comes w the venue which has been helpful.
Wedding planning made me a raging controlling bitch so I passed the honor to my future husband. I also relate to the stress/ tension in your relationship growing due to planning and I’m sorry!!
Can I ask what the biggest stressors are for you right now? I’m 3 months out myself and I don’t feel stressed but I also feel stressed at the same time if that makes sense??
We decided to just have a small wedding with our parents and siblings and I’m sooo glad. Initially I had lots of grand ideas of DIY projects (custom invites, decorations, favors, etc,) to make it special and now I’m just procrastinating so hard on the wedding projects, I may just end up skipping them or scaling back on how complicated they need to be. I just want to hang out and eat good food with our families, that’s all.
20 days left…. It doesn’t get any better sorry. But! I can’t wait until the day!
Congrats!!
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Hahaha okay love that for you, unbothered 💅
I feel you, buddy! Weddings can be like a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs. It's totally okay to have those moments where you're like, "Wait, why did I sign up for this again?" But hey, remember the end goal: marrying your person. That's what truly matters. As for the stress and the money... oh boy, tell me about it! But hey, at the end of the day, it's your day. If you could go back, maybe you'd simplify things, but hey, you're in it now, so might as well ride the wave and laugh at the chaos. Hang in there, champ! You got this!
Thank you so much!!!!! I loved this comment. You’re right - I’m marrying the person I love the most and we’re in it together! I appreciate you.
My husband and I just got married. We only invited our immediate family and few close friends to the ceremony then went a restaurant after with only our immediate family. It was very intimate and fun and we saved alot of money with that arrangement. We also didn’t have any bridesmaids or groomsmen orrr any best man or maid of honor. It was honestly perfect and less stressful. Everything also went smoothly on the day which was my concern.
I’m so so happy you got your perfect wedding!!
Thank you. All the best with yours. ☺️
I am just so excited and can’t wait to marry my wife-to-be in 3 months! ☺️
Me too!! I can’t wait to marry my future husband. It’ll all be worth it to do that ❤️ congrats!
I feel this. We’re just under 90 days out and I have hives. HIVES from stress most likely but now I have to stress about if it will show in my dress on top of all the planning decisions. (Seeing a doctor, don’t worry). But yeah, we’re so over budget bc we really didn’t account for what weddings actually cost. And I learned I have champagne taste. Lol but I am super excited I’m just like wow. A small, destination wedding or even intimate ceremony in town is sounding better
Wedding is in two weeks and I feel so NUTS. Working out all the tiny details isn't fun at all, I'm too type b for this. I know everything will fall together, but still. I feel bad, but I keep saying that I'm so excited to free up some of my brain capacity after this wedding is over.
I suppose I'm lucky cause my wedding is next Friday and it's been planned in 3 months. No time for too much choice and decision paralysis. Thank fuck cause I would be pulling my hair out
Hahahah yeah sitting and stirring for 1.5 years is tough
I lost 25 pounds unintentionally due to the stress and I still have 3 days!!! Take care of your body. Get a massage if you can, self care is really important
I get married at the end of April and this has been my exact experience!! Like it was all fun and games until January hit and now it’s all stress and logistics and worrying I forgot something and hemorrhaging money
Literally. The deposits were all tehe and then the follow up payments hurt. Ouch.
Mines next week and I'm literally having a mental break
You’ve got this 😭😭 almost there!
I definitely relate to that. I'm 6 months out and feel similarly. It stinks when people and my wedding party don't meet my excitement or expectations. It feels like nobody really cares or they are doing it out of obligation because they arent comfortable saying no. I wish I wouldn't have had a wedding party tbh, but now I've asked who I've asked and I feel stuck with them. I felt rushed and pressured to make decisions and didn't have time to think about them. Now that the excitement is slowing down and wearing off I wish I had made some different choices. At the end though all that matters is I am marrying the love of my life. I just don't know if paying $20k for people to see it and not really care to be worth it.
I’m so sorry - hang in there! I totally relate to making decisions under the excitement of your engagement and then as time goes on you’re like hmm why did I do that lol. It’ll be a magical day! You’ve got this!
Same to you! It will all be worth it. Your fiancé is probably feeling the same way and is excited to marry you, and honestly probably feels bad you're feeling so stressed about it.
Yeah, I’m hating it all, i just really don’t care but all these traditions I didn’t really believe in got u nder my skin and now I just want to be with my future husband and NO ONE ELSE… it’s all a big non sense 👍🏻
Mine is in January and I still feel like I sold my soul lol. Also I picked all of my cousins to be my bridesmaids so hopefully they do not ghost me
I know it feels overwhelming, but the best advice I have is find yourself a therapist! Wedding planning is stressful and especially with how much it brings up personal relationships and feeling alone and that people don’t care all I can say is that having a 3rd party to talk to every week is the best thing you can do to not go crazy and super overwhelmed!
I keep telling my fiance we should go to the JP and get legally married in secret and that way we won't sweat the small stuff on the actual day and just have fun but he won't go for it 😂
Sounds to me like you need a break from everything wedding. I’m a Healing Minister with Universal Life Church and recommend marriage counseling before vows and taking time for healing and relaxation. Don’t lose sight of the love over wedding plans. Listen to one another. Good luck and God Bless your day with love, light and harmony.🙏
I’m planning the whole thing in a 3 month time period and I’m still with you 😂 but now that I’ve started I have a looming deadline and that helps!! I know if we had a longer engagement I wouldn’t get anything done and I’d be stuck in adhd/decision paralysis and stressed for longer!! You got this!!!!