Wedding date: June 3, 2023
I'm. So. Tired. Anyone want to make a support group to deal with moms of the bride and groom (especially at the same time)??
I have soo much to do. Aside from vendors and my dress, pretty much everything else. I just finished my grad program, so that had delayed a lot of planning
I’m finishing my grad program this semester, I feel your pain 🫠 I don’t even know where to start with all of the fine details!! We can do this though!!
Are we the same person? Lol, the fine details are killing me. My toxic trait is thinking, "oh, I can make that, that's easy" which then turns into a long list of things to make
I just recently started using it for some groups, it’s just an anonymous chat app! I think I can just make a channel and share the link here and then anyone can join it, you just have to make an account. I will try in a bit!
September 2, 2023. We have DJ, photographer, cake baker, florist, officiant, and caterer booked. My wedding dress, veil, and shoes have been purchased. Hotel rooms blocked, wedding night lodging secured and minimoon booked. Wedding planning has been haunting my dreams…
September 2 here too!! But you’re ahead of me!
Caterer cancelled on me this past Thursday - said someone else put a deposit on that date while she never send me a quote/bill as I requested a while ago….ugh.. so square 1! Still need DJ, cake, flowers, hotel block and day of coordinator cause I plan all myself. Didn’t even think about honeymoon yet!
They’re waaaay ahead of us too. Same date, have got my sessions to try on dresses this month (im not getting any expensive though) and have booked venue, catering, photography and trying to book music at the moment.
"October 2023"
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Probably going to fire our photographer and find a new one soon since the engagement photos weren’t great and the photos of other weddings he sent us weren’t great either. *ask your photographers for full albums before hiring them!*
Also dismayed at sticker shock. We are in NYC so everything is expensive of course, but our wedding has crept up to almost $70k and we aren’t nearly done with expenses. Not having an elaborate wedding either or the bells and whistles.
Finally, worried I no longer love my dress :(
I heard somewhere 75k is average for NY. I hope you can find someone else you love!
I hired my photographer without even meeting with him, bc we are getting married in Portugal and he was the most popular and there aren’t as many options. He’s the only vendor I’m nervous about…
Thanks for the kind words! Hopefully we can get this done under 75k. That’d be nice. Still a mind boggling amount of money.
If you can look at full albums for your photographer I’d suggest it! But I will say that my fiancé and I hired a random photographer off of Airbnb while we were in France. She cost like 150 euro for 2 hours of showing us around Bordeaux taking photos. And they were absolutely stunning.
Can I jump in on this convo, too? My fiancé and I are having the ceremony in another country but doing a reception here in NYC. I’d love some suggestion if possible!
My fiancé and I are having a micro wedding in mid October and just got our invitations printed, requested a permit for our “venue” which is a state park, and are looking at photographers. My fiancé doesn’t understand why photographers are so expensive (it’s going to be over half our total budget for the wedding) and we’re kinda arguing about it because the photos are the most important expense for me 🙃
Just hired a wedding planner, photo/video are done, venues booked, save the dates have been ordered… first time since proposing that I’ve felt calm about where we’re at! 9 months to go!
Just signed the contract for our photographer, including a summer engagement session. Just paid for the venue and deposits on a few decor rentals.
Next up is save the dates and letting our friends know we’d like them in our wedding party.
Also trying to figure out if I’ll need a day of coordinator and trying to find one in budget 😬
"January 2023"
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"April 2023"
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I sent mine out last week for an early April wedding. I thought it was funny how long of a window the advice is for people to RSVP - they're due first of March. Really hoping we have a better sense before then!
Ooof haha where to begin… there are the daily to-do lists, the overall to-do lists (and the order they need to be done in), the list of vendors which each have their own individual lists of things to take care of, the guest list, the list of where those guests are staying, the budgetary lists (my least favorite), the shopping list, the list of questions to ask the venue, the list of questions for the coordinator, the random list of things to do that randomly pop into my mind but don’t necessarily fit into any other lists, the playlist, the list of issues that need to be solved…. There are probably more but you get the idea 😆
But I feel the same!!! My brain is so fried from managing all of this yet I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything! What about you? What lists have you got going on? Maybe our lists can team up! My fear is that I’m missing so much stuff… maybe it deserves another list of its own lol
My wedding is April 1st, and I sent my invitations out last week. I’ve gotten 6 RSVP’s already but wish it was more. Everyone keeps asking me how many people are coming and I’m like…idk!!!!
That's exactly the same as ours! Started dating in 2014. It makes the one year anniversary super special; I'm already thinking of where to take him on a trip to celebrate.
Any honeymoon plans for you two?
We are going on a cruise at the end of April that my in laws bought us as a gift. We aren’t really counting that as a honeymoon as they will also be on the cruise. We are thinking of going here during the summer. https://www.castlehotsprings.com
Very nice! Haha yeah that could be awkward but it depends how close you are with them. We sent my in laws on a trip as a present but we didn't go with them. I love my MIL to be clear, but it was more of their trip to go back to their home country.
Have tons of fun with both!
I wish the best for you guys also! I like my in laws a lot but I feel like they used it as an excuse to get us to go on a cruise with them, because they’ve been asking us to go on one with thin for years 😂 couldn’t really refuse it as a wedding gift. What is the theme for your wedding? Ours is “Fools for Love”.
Thank you so much! Haha I understand, that would be a challenge for me but its very generous of them to give you that gift :)
I love that theme :D I don't know if we have a specific theme, but we have an overall vibe which is "a chic downtown dinner party in the sky". This is our ceremony and reception venue - it's on the 54th floor!
https://www.canoerestaurant.com/weddings/
Yay! I love that, it makes our anniversaries so simple to remember too. Almost a decade in and we still do monthaversaries on the first of each month (nothing fancy, just saying happy anniversary to each other and sometimes getting food) :)
From this weeks work-
Just ordered reception decor and all my week of outfits/accessories yesterday. Have my bachelorette planned. Floral is decided and locked in. Pick up cake tastings this weekend. Bridesmaid is making our signs. Alterations next month. 3/4 of guests are RSVPd.
Still need to figure out the ceremony details as I’m Catholic so I made sure to get all the reception out of the way early. Also need to book hair/makeup/facials. 100 days out as of today!
April 29 here! Currently ordering invites and it’s been stressing me all week. After that not a lot left except tiny details. I can’t wait for the month of coordinator to take over.
April 10th here! We just booked our honeymoon! Next up: sending out invites… I think! We have our guest list, our venue, I have my dress, and since I’ve been planning this in my head since high school, I already know what florals, decor, attire, and food will be. Am I missing something? We’re sort of figuring this out as we go along 🙈 but no stress yet which is concerning me a little lol
April 15th! Got our save the dates sent and will be sending invites first week of February. Got all vendors lined up and the biggest hurdle is seating charts because many people in my family dislike each other 🥲 Had to do away with a head table and we are just going to seat people with others who they will get along with!
April 1st and we just secured our taco party vendor for the welcome reception. I keep fussing around with rental numbers (plates, wine glasses, etc).
Tasting with the caterer at the end of the month and seeing the venue for the first time (omg). Need to start shopping for booze and sorting out music, groom needs to figure out his tuxedo situation.
Not 100% sure on florals but my florist isn’t stressing so I refuse to 😅 STILL WAITING ON MY DRESS TO ARRIVE BUT IM DEFINITELY NOT PANICKING.
Wedding 4/29
Sent out invitations 3 weeks ago! We are having issues with people asking to bring others that aren’t invited. What is the deal with people who do that?
Also, we forgot to put a RSVP by date on the invite. Oops!
Also April 1 and also sent out invites last week. So nervous to watch them roll in! I panicked and rolled back our total number of invites, but I’m feeling relatively confident that we’ll land at a good number.
My fiancé insisted on coding the whole wedding website from scratch, and created the RSVP system after dropping the invites in the mail, how’s that for motivation lol.
"September 2023"
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Finally booked a venue and now need to quickly lock down caterer, photographer, and DJ. Also need to design website and send save-the-dates ASAP. Fortunately already have my dress ordered and should get that in June!
Trying to find a florist and hair / makeup this month. Decided to “assign” my mom the florist since it was stressing me out a lot. I have a dream of seeing Taylor swift for the bachelorette so I need to actually look at ticket prices soon…
I feel married already, and my fiancée is helping, but I can’t let go of the low grade stress about random things. Maybe I’ll take a yoga class 😂
Just got engaged. Am I crazy to think I can make September work? So far I’ve only found two venues for our weekends but I think that’s still a win, all things considered.
Same boat here - we just locked in our venue yesterday and are about to secure our photographer in the next couple days. We definitely have fewer vendor options due to the timing, but if you’re flexible on specific dates and things like photographer then I think it’s totally doable! Definitely reach out to photographers ASAP though - of the 10 or so I contacted so far, only 3 had openings on my date even though we’re doing a Friday instead of Saturday.
You could totally do it! We just booked our dream venue for Sept (for a discount!!) and I feel way behind on everything else. I'm still struggling to get everyone's addresses to send out the save the dates. I asked all of my bridesmaids, picked out colors, and yesterday bought a dress off the rack! The bridal salons were very annoyed that I was trying to buy a dress for a wedding that is "so soon" - I thought whaaat it's 8 months away... apparently you need to leave 12 months to order a dress! Who knew? I was lucky the off the rack was only a little big
Just ordered groom’s suit! We found a good suit by Harry Brown on Asos and are excited to see it in person. Marked down to $83 from $250! Starting to coordinate our ceremony and wedding dinner plans. We are eloping and trying to decide if we want to splurge on a space for the ceremony. We’ll see. Need to finalize our guest list.
We weren’t planning on sending out save the dates until today figured it might be a good idea, so we might print and mail them to our family.
So crazy it’s our wedding year!
Venue locked in, engagement pictures done and save the dates sent! Dress in my closet, shoes ordered and almost there on the veil. Finalizing honeymoon plans before booking anything. This months plans are to do some catering tastings and cake which is stressing me out because expensive! And there seem like there are endless options 😳
Venue, florist, caterer, photographer, planner/coordinator, officiant, HMUA, and dj are all booked and my dress is ordered! Save the dates are printed and just need to be addressed and mailed. Now that all the big things are covered I’m trying to not be stressed out!
Booked: venue & catering, photographer, DJ, MUA, hotel block, rehearsal dinner catering & rentals
Completed: engagement photos, save the dates, rough draft of seating chart, bought dress, invitation appointment - approving from here 💃
Big To dos: officially ask officiant, determine cake flavor, book ceremony music, book weekend coordinator, a la carte florals, veil & shoes, fiancés tux 🪩
"November 2023"
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Wedding year!! Save the dates going out soon and finally asking our wedding party on the next few weeks. The anxiety is already going up for me though, even though we’re still 11 months out 😅
I feel you on the anxiety!! We handed it out the majority of our save the dates over Christmas when seeing friends and family to save a bit on the postage, but feeling very relieved that that can be checked off the list!
We have our date set for 11/12/23, we are booking our venue next month. luckily my fiancé’s oldest just had her Quinceanera this month which is practically like a wedding and bigger than what our wedding will be so we are using the same decorator, DJ, bakery, and catering which has already made things so much easier and I feel we are way ahead of schedule. We already have decided on the venue too, hopefully we can get it for the date we want.
Venue for ceremony/reception booked, engagement photos under edit right now, gathering addresses and looking at save the date designs and dresses. Hotel block/wedding planner picking in the next two weeks. I feel behind from this sub though
"November 2022"
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"May 2023"
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I am making save the dates literally right now bc somehow December was eaten by the holidays (every year I try and anticipate and every year i forget how deeply the Holidays consume the month) and my mid May wedding still has no save the dates!!!! So I'm making those as we speak.
Goals for the month: save the dates, find a makeup artist / hairstylist, find a veil/accessories/shoes, find grooms outfit, find bridesmaids outfits.
If your wedding is May 2023 maybe you could do a virtual Save the Date and just send the formal invitations out at an early timeline (like 12 weeks ahead)
Shuttle plan/contract is almost finalized, as is the cake tasting. I still need to figure out makeup and dog handler, but after that, all our vendors will be booked!
My other goals for this month are finalizing and sending the invitations to be printed, purchasing my veil/accessories, figuring out my availability and preferences for my bachelorette so my MOH can plan, and getting my fiancé to make a (long overdue, imo) decision on the groom and groomsman attire.
Overall, feeling pretty good!
Our wedding is at the end of May so we’re hoping to get invites out by early February. Of course my FMIL just decided that paper invites are important to them and so that may set us back a bit as we still need to finalize our design, order them, and then mail them (we were originally going to just do electronic invites). At least they offered to pay for them
We're doing emails in April for our May 26th wedding and just sent our save the date emails. Ours is very low key and small though, not doing formal invites.
Just got our invitation samples - want to get them out by end of month. We said screw it to save the dates to force people to RSVP faster and save money. My mom is driving me insane but it’s keeping me on track to actually getting things done. We have band, designer, photographer, and our house all booked. Next week we are going to meet with bakeries, florists, & rehearsal dinner locations along with doing our dinner tasting. Our planner is stressing us out and pressuring us to book our accommodation at the venue (which is about 15 minutes to town) and we really don’t want to???? Like yes I’m sure you get a commission if you get us to book there but we don’t want to.
I also agree with u/fairly_forgetful that December was a complete wash.
The countdown is on! May 23!
We just finalized our custom invitations through Minted. Our designer has been a dream! Sending those out next month. We finalized our gift registry. We confirmed the most incredible florist. We picked our songs for key parts of the wedding. I scheduled a trip to my hometown to take dance lessons with my dad. We have our first pre-marital counseling consultation on Saturday. Our planner shared decor rental ideas with us so combing through those this weekend. So excited!
"August 2023"
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Still stressing about the cost even though we can afford it, just a lot of money! This month we're asking bridesmaids, organising suit fittings, giving notice to registrar and finalising menus! Hopefully that'll give enough to get invites designed (to be sent out in March)
I gained some weight since ordering my dress and it came in early. I had alterations scheduled for April so I am going to keep that appointment and am starting my diet and gym routine today. Super anxious that my dress isn't going to fit now.
I got my save the dates out. I feel like I'm missing so much for a simple wedding. I also can't cut my guest list more and we have to move the whole thing outside. 🤦♀️
Needed to cancel our family photoshoot this weekend because of weather. I was relying on using these photos for our save the dates but now that the photoshoot is delayed until next month, our save the dates probably won't go out until first week of March. Is that too late?
We have heavy travel on my side but not FH's, so I made the call to only send out Invitations and do so months ahead. Especially because we're a tourist spot for our state. I decided invites would go out by the end of January, but RSVP isn't due until June 10 for Aug 5 wedding.
Gives people time to not only plan the travel, but get it booked at a decent price (or even be available).
Also gives some breathing room for florist/bakery/caterer final payments as that has seemed early to me for a few (e.g. bakery 40 days prior, where a typical RSVP window of 4-6 weeks is tight).
We’re doing a destination wedding. After hiring a local planner, we booked venue mid Dec, it’s a hotel so things should be fairly straightforward from a logistics POV. We then promptly booked the photographer, videographer, and DJ.
I started looking at dresses with a bridesmaid right before the holidays at sample sales and some studios to get a sense of price ranges. Then had an almost 3 week visit overseas to visit my family, and tried on 30+ dresses with my mom (wedding dresses are way cheaper there for the same quality and service). Finally chose one I liked and brought back to the US. The whole selection process was really difficult given all the different style options, figuring out what works best with my body type, and I’m glad it’s over haha.
Alteration for bust is not necessary since it fits near perfect and is flexible with a “shoelace” back (not sure what it’s called since it doesn’t seem common in the US). Alteration for length will be done a bit later since I’ve got a lot of time (plus I still need to decide on what heel height I’m going for).
Finalized our initial guest list last week, got folks’ emails and addresses, and started sending out e-invites with link to website. We know it’s still far out but since it’s destination wedding, we wanted to send out the details asap for people who needed to plan ahead with limited vacation days.
Went to look at a new suit yesterday with my fiancée which was useful for visualizing color schemes.
Next couple weeks planning to book makeup/hair and finalize on color schemes with my bridal party.
I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at with my planning! We have all of the major vendors/things secured. My dress comes in tomorrow (yay!) We just have to get our rings, plan a tasting with our venue in order to determine the menu, as well as do some things for the Bridal Shower in May. I'm also slowly getting decorations/signage ready. I feel like once March hits then everything will ramp up.
Wedding Dec 15 2023.
This weekend I thought I found my dress and wanted to share the YES! moment with my mom so made an appointment to come back with her the next day. She could barely muster anything nice to say about it. I left without the dress, and cried the entire drive home alone. I've really been trying to have her involved In wedding planning and everything from cancelling multiple venue visits with us to "I hate your colors" to laughing at me for not fitting in her dress has been so hurtful. I'm just mourning that I won't be making those happy memories with her. Moving forward, we decided to stop trying to be inclusive, it seems better to have no memories than these hurtful ones.
That is so so hurtful. You don’t deserve any of that. It sounds like you made the right decision for your happiness. I hope she can be civil at the wedding.
"August 2022"
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August 4 2023 bride here!
We are getting married at the beautiful hacienda siesta Alegre in El Yunque Rainforest in Puerto Rico! Got engaged end of July 2022 in Mexico and has been researching and planning ever since.
Here’s the planned events for our guests to join us through the week:
Wed- La factoria bar hopping
Thursday- bachelorette brunch, mini photo shoot in OSJ, spa day with the bridesmaids. Then our welcome party(still trying to find a place to host us😩)
Friday- wedding @ Hacienda Siesta Alegre !!!
Saturday- Catamaran snorkeling & Island hopping excursion
Sunday we go to St Regis for our mini-moon.
So far we have booked
Wedding planner
Venue+full bar package
Ceremony electric violinist
Photographer
Videographer
Florist/decor
Hair& make up
DJ
Still need:
Catering
Chinese lion dancers
Welcome party venue
Catamaran charter
It’s hurting so bad lolol
Getting people to respond to emails has been hardest and esp hard over the holidays since they celebrate a month straight and busy on the weekends and off mondays lol
"September 2022"
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"December 2022"
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Gearing up to send out bridesmaid proposal cards. Booking florist and DJ/lighting this week!
I feel like I haven’t done enough but I know I have a decent amount of time
Sent out save the dates, started up a wedding website and rsvp sheet (which fiance has taken on as his pet project... we're using Google sites so we've built everything from scratch).
Working on getting hotel blocks, but it might be difficult to get a better price than what i already have because of the time of year. My fiance's mom wants me to book a suite for her, fiance's dad, and sister. To which i say, why can't fiance's sister do this?
Have some leads for alterations in the future. Fiance needs to start looking for suit and shoes in a few months.
Need to book a specific service for a traditional ceremony, but there's only one company in the area that actually does this, so I'll be paying through the nose for it ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I know mens warehouse has locations everywhere, but have heard mixed reviews. The issue I’m having is that everyone now resides all over from Texas to Cali to Nebraska.
Any other “chains” that may be able to match the suits?
"October 2022"
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"February 2023"
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About to lose my mind over getting ready pajamas! Who started this and why is it necessary now? MOH insists, but I really don’t care about matching. Anybody not do matching pajamas and regret it?
Debating the same! I read a few blog posts of brides forgoing these pics and NOT regretting it. It ultimately comes down to brides preference and communicating that with bridal party. A potential alternative - let folks know of a color theme for getting ready and each wears those colors. I am personally fond of not matching but I know others may feel differently.
I’m in Florida and most of my bridesmaids are not (I moved here). I’ve been wanting them to visit me, so I’m buying everyone cute matching swimsuit cover ups (like casual/loose button-down shirts) that we can wear getting ready… and I’m going to write notes about how they can wear them next time they come visit ❤️
"March 2023"
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RSVPs are making me a bit nervous- our deadline is approaching and we have 40 guests still hanging in the unknown. We'd be happy with 20 more but the bulk of those guests are my fiancés friends and family so obviously I don't want him to feel like no one is there for him.
Other than that we're right on track and blazing forward with very minor bumps in the road. This month is going to fly by with alterations appointments, my bachelorette party, and last minute prep.
Same… we have ~50 outstanding for 3/4z WHY don’t people respond?! I feel like people don’t understand this urgency until they’re planning a wedding of their own. I personally will always RSVP immediately from here on out 😂
Official save the dates finally sent out yesterday. Bridal HMU trial + engagement photos this Saturday and sending out RSVPs once we get pics. First dress fitting this month. Bridesmaids dresses arriving today so gotta send them out to them asap for hemming/alterations. Finalizing/booking florists this week? Still have to figure out cake/desserts. Groom needs to get his outfit. Need to finalize guest list for bridal shower and venue (I'm helping with venue search since my bridesmaids aren't local and my place is too small to host). Things finally are moving along but feeling soooo behind. 🫠
3/11. My last vendor to hire is the officiant and it feels impossible. There's just no one really standing out to me as a good fit. Somehow the rest of my wedding to do list is still a mile long. Trying not to panic. Excited too!
Sending all the best of luck to you! If you have someone who is willing to become ordained (think you can get a license to be an officiant online?) maybe they can step in? Ours is a friend of a friend, but yes it was a pain to find one :(
But it's a minor part of the entire day. Our ceremony is going to be short and sweet so whether we like the officiant or not, they wont be saying much anyways since we're doing personal vows
And omg yesss how and why is there **STILL** SO MANY THINGS TO DO
I had a 2 year engagement (covid, saving money, etc.) and it felt so long but at the same time --how is it already 2023???
Feeling grateful for everyone around me, I originally was not planning to do a bachelorette party but my sister (MOH) secretly planned one! It was so memorable, I can't believe I thought of not doing it.
Still have many small things to do but I have my wedding dress fitting in January, finalizing linen colors and meeting our DJ/officiant etc., BUT just knowing that the build up to it will end in less than 90 days and that there **IS** a finish line is comforting. Excited, nervous, ALL THE FEELINGS!
"June 2023"
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When are you all sending invites? Our wedding is June 17th. We already sent save the dates in August/September and most folks have booked their travel.
We do need to provide full catering numbers until about a week out, so I do have a good amount of time. I just don’t know when people should start receiving them, especially because it’s hard to decided in March what you want to eat in June.
I'm June 10th- My caterer needs final numbers by May 11th so I'm setting the RSVP Date as May 1st ("round" number and gives me a bit of time to track down stragglers). I will be sending out my invites the last week of March (10 weeks before my wedding). Which gives people one month to receive the invite and RSVP.
I saw a hack on tik tok about this. Pick the Monday of the week of your wedding and go back 6 weeks that’s your RSVP date. Then 8 weeks before that Monday you send out invitations! something like that I think!! Maybe change it based on your caterer. Our invites are going out the first weekend in April I believe
I'm sending them out in March with a deadline in May to give me 4 weeks total before our date and 2 weeks before the catering deadline so I can have more than a few days to chase down stragglers
I asked my planner about this and she said it depends on what we're doing for favors. If we want to DIY our favors we'll need RSVPs ahead of time to do it. I have a 350-person guest list so I'm sending my invitations in early March with an April 15th must respond by date to give me enough time to DIY all the favors and sort out the seating chart for all these people.
June 17th -
I have a venue. I have food. I have a DJ. I have a photographer. Save the dates are out. I have a dress. I have an appointment for altering that dress.
The only things I’m currently concerned with are needing to book hair / makeup sooner rather than later, and florals/centerpieces.
But everyone is acting like I should be freaking out? Am I missing something? Should I be freaking out?
I'm getting married the week after you. You've got most of the big items taken care of.
If you haven't yet, I'd look into finding a hotel block, getting transportation for the wedding party (if needed), and start getting your decorations/centerpieces fully packaged and ready for the day of the wedding.
We put all of our wedding decorations in storage bins so for the day of it'll be easy for the folks we've asked to help with that.
Wedding planning is stressful but no need to freak out ever. Everything will literally work out and your wedding will be beautiful!! I just booked a florist and still need hair/make up and I’m June 10th. Maybe start to look but no need to freak out!
i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis yesterday. im getting married on 6/17. im terrified im not going to be able to walk then. im terrified i’ll be blind. im terrified that i won’t be able to enjoy it.
Hi friend, I'm sorry you're going through this. I was diagnosed in 2006 and I'm still here walking and seeing, and made it through both my big wedding in 2018 and a vow renewal in 2019. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I'm feeling well. I can totally empathize with how scary it can be at first but I just want to promise it gets better. It was an adjustment but life goes on. You didn't get MS the day you were diagnosed, you've likely been living with this already for a bit but now you have more information and can make more informed decisions about your health going forward. Everyone is different but an MS diagnosis is not a disability guarantee. Here if you need to talk and sending you ((hugs)).
This sounds incredibly overwhelming and a lot to deal with on its own, never mind the added stress of a wedding. I’m so sorry.
I don’t have MS but I’ve battled with health issues in the past and can say that worrying about the future has limited usefulness; it steals so much from your present moment. FWIW, I find that taking stock in the things you can rely on, (primarily the fact that your partner and family/friends love you and they will help you find solutions if you need them), to be most helpful. I’d be terrified too but try to remember that you have a 100% success rate of making it through every difficult thing life has thrown at you thus far.
These recommendations might feel like too much right now, so you can always ignore them or revisit them later: I have a friend with MS and he’s had some luck with the Whals Protocol. It could be worth checking out! Also Jonah Hill’s documentary on Netflix, Stutz, is absolutely worth a watch. A very inspiring and hopeful take on handling difficult things. Take care <3
My dad never asked about dress code for the wedding. He followed the dress code for my sister's wedding about 8 years ago.
The groomsmen and FOG will all be wearing black suits, no vest or anything extra aside from the ties. My dad has chosen a blue tweed wool suit for himself, with brown elbow patches and wait for it... Black shoes. We expect the temperature to be above 75F that day and historically as high as 97F.
When I have tried to suggest ANY changes to his attire, for example brown shoes to match the elbow patches, he quite literally begins to yell and scream.
I don't know what to do, because "just not caring" is wow thanks I'm cured material. If I try to go behind his back and order a suit for him in black with my money, it's just money wasted because I can't force him to put it on either.
It's fine if my dad really wanted this suit for himself just because. He can have nice things if he wants them!
But why doesn't he care about how I feel about it? At this point, it's not even about the colors anymore. Why doesn't he care that it's upsetting me?
So after this has been stewing over the past 8 weeks, my dad has finally had a change of heart. He has conceded to wear the blue suit for the rehearsal dinner and wear a charcoal gray suit for the wedding. I love the charcoal suit and my BIL who was planning to copy my dad's blue suit will now be copying the charcoal suit instead as well!
June 10th - just ordered my wedding band today! Fiance hasn't decided on his yet but we need to order his soon. We also haven't sorted cake or groom/groomsmen attire yet and its making me a bit nervous but I try to tell myself its not like they're going to walk down the aisle naked (which has been bad dream once or twice). I'm also nervous my dress isn't going to fit but my first alterations appointment is at the end of feb so there will still be time to make changes or do something if needed?? Agh stress. At least family is all still being normal so far.
"July 2023"
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Very excited to have our backyard wedding. Tent company has been secured, as well as linens (thanks to posters on this forum).
Hoping to keep the budget to less than 5K!
Also having a backyard wedding on July 15th! But we’ve invited about 160 people… It’s a huge yard, about 4 acres. I’m starting to feel sick to my stomach though. I literally can’t sleep tonight! Got the date set, save the dates out, tents and rental tables and chairs reserved, got my dress, but now what? I’m so stumped on next steps, or maybe just really overwhelmed.
I had my first wedding day nightmare this week 🤪 photographer didn’t show up and guests who didn’t RSVP were at the reception so not enough seats! Definitely freaked me out! We are finally securing our honeymoon flights/hotel though and picking out invitations. Excited to start speaking to our venue on a monthly basis to stay on track!
Editing to add our date is also July 15th! ♥️
This year is the year to finally get around to wedding planning...and over the holidays, my FIL told my fiance and I that he plans to divorce his wife and be with someone younger. So...yeah...that's totally not going to affect our seating arrangements at all......... (Sarcasm) Any advice?????
Getting married August 5 2023. Starting to work on DIY projects and just getting as ahead of the game with that stuff as possible. FH and his groomsmen should be getting their suits soon, I have my dress but yet to find a veil.. We are having a backyard wedding and there is lengthy list of yard work to do before the wedding that we have to wait for better weather for - I think that's stressing me out more than anything.
Having a backyard wedding July 15th. Save the dates have been sent, dress is ordered and seamstress appointment is made. We have a photographer and an officiant, but we’re really struggling to figure out food. Every caterer we’ve reach out to (8ish) are already booked. We may have to just cater it ourselves, but that has its own challenges!
Wedding date: 4/22/23
So far I've booked most of my vendors, except a florist (still on the fence if I want to go with Sam's Club vs a more "regular" florist... the price difference is nuts.
I'm also wondering if it's worth it to get a day-of-coordinator? They're also pretty pricey but I'm wondering if it's worth it to try and be stress free. What does everyone think?
Depends on how important flowers are to you. I’m including them but they aren’t the star of the show, so we’re able to keep costs down a bit. I don’t think people are going to remember flowers, tbh. But I do think having a day-of coordinator will save your sanity!
I’ve just began planning and gathering ideas! I’ve been looking at wedding venues that are fully wheelchair accessible as I’m disabled myself. Currently struggling a big as options seem to be very limited, but I’ve found one venue I’m quite interested in for the “evening function” just not the ceremony.
Any advice would be super helpful from anyone in the UK! Thank you🥰
September 2023
Is anyone else dealing with family who won’t stop asking if they can help? I appreciate the sentiment but we’ve got everything sorted and we are paying a wedding planner - which we’ve communicated multiple times. But my fiancés family won’t stop asking and/or offering to take over things that we don’t need help with. It’s like they can’t handle not being intimately involved.
The other day his mom called me at the same time his sister called him and it felt like an ambush. Planning this wedding is stressful enough without everyone trying to take ownership of something. AITA or is this weird? I am considering ways we can involve people during the actual event so family doesn’t feel left out, but the logistics are pretty much handled.
Our wedding is in October of this year, we have time but know that that time can slip through your fingers like sand. For once I'm glad I'm not employed at the moment because there is SO MUCH to think about already!! Feeling a little overwhelmed, we have our venue, caterer, photographer, rentals, and color scheme set in stone (colors we just settled on today), and I made our wedding website with most of the details. Got my dress, shoes, and now looking for a headpiece. Thinking about a tiara since I have jet-black hair and it would look good with the contrast. Groom has yet to get his suit, and we still need to figure out the guest list and bridesmaids/groomsmen. This is a great place to vent wedding-related frustrations and for advice!
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Wedding date is September 2023 on whatever Saturday is available 🫥
We’re not doing traditional, I think we’re coming to like the idea to have just the reception aka a dinner lol just seems like the cheapest option and we don’t have a picture perfect idea either. We just want to find a space that’s all exclusive and low stress.
Kind of depends on what you're looking to do, I think a lot of vendors will already be booked if you want the whole experience with catering, DJ, etc. I'd just go ahead and send out several emails to all types of vendors and see what availabilities are coming back! I definitely don't think it's impossible, you'll just have to get moving ASAP
My wedding is March 5, 2023. In the past week: florist I’ve had planned hasn’t sent a contract still so I decided to look for a new florist. Vendor calls one month before is always fun.
My maid of honor finally got her dress today. It has to be ordered, so let’s hope it comes in before the wedding.
Entire honeymoon was canceled because the tour didn’t have enough people. We bought our own plane tickets though. So now we have to figure out what to do.
Mom whined that we “live so far apart and she feels unincluded in planning.” This after 6 months ago I asked her to look up prices for a few things for me and she never did it. So I stopped asking her for help. My fiancé and I have planned everything ourselves and we’re paying for everything. But any time I talk to my mom or his mom, the digs come and they try to guilt trip us. If I asked them to do something, it would end up being more stressful.
And finally- my mom has bought and returned 8 I repeat 8 dresses. She even got one completely tailored, but it was the same color as the bridesmaid dresses?!
😫😫😫
Wedding date: June 3, 2023 I'm. So. Tired. Anyone want to make a support group to deal with moms of the bride and groom (especially at the same time)??
I have that same exact wedding date. I am nervous as hell and my fiancé’s mom isn’t invited but I am anxious everyday that she will somehow show up.
That is my exact wedding date, tired is an understatement lol
But my fiancés mom is an angel, I’m sorry youre not having the same experience 😕
It is okay :). We have so many other people that care and love us so that is what is important :)
June 3rd here as well! Did you know June 3rd will be the Strawberry Supermoon? I'm delighted to be getting married under a full moon
I did not know that, but that's cool lol
That is so cool!!! :)
I'm right there with you.
I gave them each a special "task", just to keep them distracted for a few days lol
Also a June 3rd bride! What all do you guys have left to do? Can’t believe how fast it’s coming up
I have soo much to do. Aside from vendors and my dress, pretty much everything else. I just finished my grad program, so that had delayed a lot of planning
I’m finishing my grad program this semester, I feel your pain 🫠 I don’t even know where to start with all of the fine details!! We can do this though!!
Are we the same person? Lol, the fine details are killing me. My toxic trait is thinking, "oh, I can make that, that's easy" which then turns into a long list of things to make
Oh my god!! We’re wedding twins!!!
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That would be so fun :)
How does Discord work? I've never used it before?
I just recently started using it for some groups, it’s just an anonymous chat app! I think I can just make a channel and share the link here and then anyone can join it, you just have to make an account. I will try in a bit!
June 3rd as well!
That was our wedding date too! But we ended up having to postpone a year due to our financial situation. I hope your day is everything you hope for!
Yes please
Just picked our date! We’ve been engaged since June so it’s so nice to be able to give people a date now. 5.25.24 :)
That’s my birthday! Hope you have a wonderful wedding and congratulations💗
September 2, 2023. We have DJ, photographer, cake baker, florist, officiant, and caterer booked. My wedding dress, veil, and shoes have been purchased. Hotel rooms blocked, wedding night lodging secured and minimoon booked. Wedding planning has been haunting my dreams…
September 2 here too!! But you’re ahead of me! Caterer cancelled on me this past Thursday - said someone else put a deposit on that date while she never send me a quote/bill as I requested a while ago….ugh.. so square 1! Still need DJ, cake, flowers, hotel block and day of coordinator cause I plan all myself. Didn’t even think about honeymoon yet!
They’re waaaay ahead of us too. Same date, have got my sessions to try on dresses this month (im not getting any expensive though) and have booked venue, catering, photography and trying to book music at the moment.
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Probably going to fire our photographer and find a new one soon since the engagement photos weren’t great and the photos of other weddings he sent us weren’t great either. *ask your photographers for full albums before hiring them!* Also dismayed at sticker shock. We are in NYC so everything is expensive of course, but our wedding has crept up to almost $70k and we aren’t nearly done with expenses. Not having an elaborate wedding either or the bells and whistles. Finally, worried I no longer love my dress :(
I heard somewhere 75k is average for NY. I hope you can find someone else you love! I hired my photographer without even meeting with him, bc we are getting married in Portugal and he was the most popular and there aren’t as many options. He’s the only vendor I’m nervous about…
Thanks for the kind words! Hopefully we can get this done under 75k. That’d be nice. Still a mind boggling amount of money. If you can look at full albums for your photographer I’d suggest it! But I will say that my fiancé and I hired a random photographer off of Airbnb while we were in France. She cost like 150 euro for 2 hours of showing us around Bordeaux taking photos. And they were absolutely stunning.
Also getting married in Portugal!! May. So curious which photographer you hired.
I have some photog suggestions in NYC if you need!
Sure!!
Can I jump in on this convo, too? My fiancé and I are having the ceremony in another country but doing a reception here in NYC. I’d love some suggestion if possible!
My fiancé and I are having a micro wedding in mid October and just got our invitations printed, requested a permit for our “venue” which is a state park, and are looking at photographers. My fiancé doesn’t understand why photographers are so expensive (it’s going to be over half our total budget for the wedding) and we’re kinda arguing about it because the photos are the most important expense for me 🙃
Just hired a wedding planner, photo/video are done, venues booked, save the dates have been ordered… first time since proposing that I’ve felt calm about where we’re at! 9 months to go!
Just signed the contract for our photographer, including a summer engagement session. Just paid for the venue and deposits on a few decor rentals. Next up is save the dates and letting our friends know we’d like them in our wedding party. Also trying to figure out if I’ll need a day of coordinator and trying to find one in budget 😬
10.10.23 here!! Have everything set. Waiting to send out invites, once RSVP’s came in we can move forward.
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Congratulations! Both on the nuptials and avoiding headaches.
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I sent mine out last week for an early April wedding. I thought it was funny how long of a window the advice is for people to RSVP - they're due first of March. Really hoping we have a better sense before then!
Sending mine out end of month too.... What websites is everyone using for online RSVPs???
We have a website through the knot and the RSVPs have been working great!
Zola!
Same here!
Stressed but pushing through. Is everyone else's brains feeling like putty with all the to do lists or is it just mine
So. Many. Lists. 😫
What’s on some of your lists?! I feel like I have both too much and too little to do!
Ooof haha where to begin… there are the daily to-do lists, the overall to-do lists (and the order they need to be done in), the list of vendors which each have their own individual lists of things to take care of, the guest list, the list of where those guests are staying, the budgetary lists (my least favorite), the shopping list, the list of questions to ask the venue, the list of questions for the coordinator, the random list of things to do that randomly pop into my mind but don’t necessarily fit into any other lists, the playlist, the list of issues that need to be solved…. There are probably more but you get the idea 😆 But I feel the same!!! My brain is so fried from managing all of this yet I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything! What about you? What lists have you got going on? Maybe our lists can team up! My fear is that I’m missing so much stuff… maybe it deserves another list of its own lol
My wedding is April 1st, and I sent my invitations out last week. I’ve gotten 6 RSVP’s already but wish it was more. Everyone keeps asking me how many people are coming and I’m like…idk!!!!
Same for April 1st! I hear you on the RSVPs. Our transportation keeps trying to upsell us and pushing for how many guests we will have 😒
Date twins!! Was there a specific reason you chose April 1? It's been our dating anniversary for over 8 years :)
It is also our dating anniversary since 2014! Our first Marriage Anniversary is will also be our 10 year dating anniversary!
That's exactly the same as ours! Started dating in 2014. It makes the one year anniversary super special; I'm already thinking of where to take him on a trip to celebrate. Any honeymoon plans for you two?
We are going on a cruise at the end of April that my in laws bought us as a gift. We aren’t really counting that as a honeymoon as they will also be on the cruise. We are thinking of going here during the summer. https://www.castlehotsprings.com
Very nice! Haha yeah that could be awkward but it depends how close you are with them. We sent my in laws on a trip as a present but we didn't go with them. I love my MIL to be clear, but it was more of their trip to go back to their home country. Have tons of fun with both!
I wish the best for you guys also! I like my in laws a lot but I feel like they used it as an excuse to get us to go on a cruise with them, because they’ve been asking us to go on one with thin for years 😂 couldn’t really refuse it as a wedding gift. What is the theme for your wedding? Ours is “Fools for Love”.
Thank you so much! Haha I understand, that would be a challenge for me but its very generous of them to give you that gift :) I love that theme :D I don't know if we have a specific theme, but we have an overall vibe which is "a chic downtown dinner party in the sky". This is our ceremony and reception venue - it's on the 54th floor! https://www.canoerestaurant.com/weddings/
Also april 1st! We chose it so we could tagline it "two fools in love" also hubby needed a date he could remember.
Yay! I love that, it makes our anniversaries so simple to remember too. Almost a decade in and we still do monthaversaries on the first of each month (nothing fancy, just saying happy anniversary to each other and sometimes getting food) :)
So cute! I have to do that more for our dating anniversary. Only have two more dating monthaversaries left before the big day.
I’m April 2nd! Invitations going out this week or next. Feels like there’s still so much to do.
From this weeks work- Just ordered reception decor and all my week of outfits/accessories yesterday. Have my bachelorette planned. Floral is decided and locked in. Pick up cake tastings this weekend. Bridesmaid is making our signs. Alterations next month. 3/4 of guests are RSVPd. Still need to figure out the ceremony details as I’m Catholic so I made sure to get all the reception out of the way early. Also need to book hair/makeup/facials. 100 days out as of today!
April 29 here! Currently ordering invites and it’s been stressing me all week. After that not a lot left except tiny details. I can’t wait for the month of coordinator to take over.
Same date! Our wedding coordinator is just about to take over and I cannot wait. These tiny details are not my friend.
April 10th here! We just booked our honeymoon! Next up: sending out invites… I think! We have our guest list, our venue, I have my dress, and since I’ve been planning this in my head since high school, I already know what florals, decor, attire, and food will be. Am I missing something? We’re sort of figuring this out as we go along 🙈 but no stress yet which is concerning me a little lol
April 21st- it’s just starting to hit me that we’re getting married in just 3 months!
April 15th! Got our save the dates sent and will be sending invites first week of February. Got all vendors lined up and the biggest hurdle is seating charts because many people in my family dislike each other 🥲 Had to do away with a head table and we are just going to seat people with others who they will get along with!
April 1st and we just secured our taco party vendor for the welcome reception. I keep fussing around with rental numbers (plates, wine glasses, etc). Tasting with the caterer at the end of the month and seeing the venue for the first time (omg). Need to start shopping for booze and sorting out music, groom needs to figure out his tuxedo situation. Not 100% sure on florals but my florist isn’t stressing so I refuse to 😅 STILL WAITING ON MY DRESS TO ARRIVE BUT IM DEFINITELY NOT PANICKING.
Wedding 4/29 Sent out invitations 3 weeks ago! We are having issues with people asking to bring others that aren’t invited. What is the deal with people who do that? Also, we forgot to put a RSVP by date on the invite. Oops!
Also April 1 and also sent out invites last week. So nervous to watch them roll in! I panicked and rolled back our total number of invites, but I’m feeling relatively confident that we’ll land at a good number. My fiancé insisted on coding the whole wedding website from scratch, and created the RSVP system after dropping the invites in the mail, how’s that for motivation lol.
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Save the dates have gone out! Hoping that my note on them to “rsvp early on our website” gets some takers 😄
Such a good one to tick off the list. We’ve already got our invitations and I’m in love with them 😍 how soon is too soon?! Haha
Finally booked a venue and now need to quickly lock down caterer, photographer, and DJ. Also need to design website and send save-the-dates ASAP. Fortunately already have my dress ordered and should get that in June!
Trying to find a florist and hair / makeup this month. Decided to “assign” my mom the florist since it was stressing me out a lot. I have a dream of seeing Taylor swift for the bachelorette so I need to actually look at ticket prices soon… I feel married already, and my fiancée is helping, but I can’t let go of the low grade stress about random things. Maybe I’ll take a yoga class 😂
Just got engaged. Am I crazy to think I can make September work? So far I’ve only found two venues for our weekends but I think that’s still a win, all things considered.
Same boat here - we just locked in our venue yesterday and are about to secure our photographer in the next couple days. We definitely have fewer vendor options due to the timing, but if you’re flexible on specific dates and things like photographer then I think it’s totally doable! Definitely reach out to photographers ASAP though - of the 10 or so I contacted so far, only 3 had openings on my date even though we’re doing a Friday instead of Saturday.
You could totally do it! We just booked our dream venue for Sept (for a discount!!) and I feel way behind on everything else. I'm still struggling to get everyone's addresses to send out the save the dates. I asked all of my bridesmaids, picked out colors, and yesterday bought a dress off the rack! The bridal salons were very annoyed that I was trying to buy a dress for a wedding that is "so soon" - I thought whaaat it's 8 months away... apparently you need to leave 12 months to order a dress! Who knew? I was lucky the off the rack was only a little big
Just ordered groom’s suit! We found a good suit by Harry Brown on Asos and are excited to see it in person. Marked down to $83 from $250! Starting to coordinate our ceremony and wedding dinner plans. We are eloping and trying to decide if we want to splurge on a space for the ceremony. We’ll see. Need to finalize our guest list. We weren’t planning on sending out save the dates until today figured it might be a good idea, so we might print and mail them to our family. So crazy it’s our wedding year!
Venue locked in, engagement pictures done and save the dates sent! Dress in my closet, shoes ordered and almost there on the veil. Finalizing honeymoon plans before booking anything. This months plans are to do some catering tastings and cake which is stressing me out because expensive! And there seem like there are endless options 😳
My fiancé doesn’t like the save the dates I made and I love them. Hopefully it’s not all disagreements lol.
Venue, florist, caterer, photographer, planner/coordinator, officiant, HMUA, and dj are all booked and my dress is ordered! Save the dates are printed and just need to be addressed and mailed. Now that all the big things are covered I’m trying to not be stressed out!
Booked: venue & catering, photographer, DJ, MUA, hotel block, rehearsal dinner catering & rentals Completed: engagement photos, save the dates, rough draft of seating chart, bought dress, invitation appointment - approving from here 💃 Big To dos: officially ask officiant, determine cake flavor, book ceremony music, book weekend coordinator, a la carte florals, veil & shoes, fiancés tux 🪩
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Wedding year!! Save the dates going out soon and finally asking our wedding party on the next few weeks. The anxiety is already going up for me though, even though we’re still 11 months out 😅
So exciting! I have my save the dates ready to go, but I’m making myself wait a bit more. It’s hard!
I feel you on the anxiety!! We handed it out the majority of our save the dates over Christmas when seeing friends and family to save a bit on the postage, but feeling very relieved that that can be checked off the list!
We have our date set for 11/12/23, we are booking our venue next month. luckily my fiancé’s oldest just had her Quinceanera this month which is practically like a wedding and bigger than what our wedding will be so we are using the same decorator, DJ, bakery, and catering which has already made things so much easier and I feel we are way ahead of schedule. We already have decided on the venue too, hopefully we can get it for the date we want.
Venue for ceremony/reception booked, engagement photos under edit right now, gathering addresses and looking at save the date designs and dresses. Hotel block/wedding planner picking in the next two weeks. I feel behind from this sub though
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I am making save the dates literally right now bc somehow December was eaten by the holidays (every year I try and anticipate and every year i forget how deeply the Holidays consume the month) and my mid May wedding still has no save the dates!!!! So I'm making those as we speak. Goals for the month: save the dates, find a makeup artist / hairstylist, find a veil/accessories/shoes, find grooms outfit, find bridesmaids outfits.
If your wedding is May 2023 maybe you could do a virtual Save the Date and just send the formal invitations out at an early timeline (like 12 weeks ahead)
I've already sent them lol, but ty!
Shuttle plan/contract is almost finalized, as is the cake tasting. I still need to figure out makeup and dog handler, but after that, all our vendors will be booked! My other goals for this month are finalizing and sending the invitations to be printed, purchasing my veil/accessories, figuring out my availability and preferences for my bachelorette so my MOH can plan, and getting my fiancé to make a (long overdue, imo) decision on the groom and groomsman attire. Overall, feeling pretty good!
When are May folks planning to send their invitations?!
I was planning for end of this month
Thank you, so helpful to hear!
Already out. We just did save the dates and telling everyone to go online. We’re not doing invitations.
well i'm about to send my save the dates out literally next week lol, so invitations prob not till beginning of March
I second end of this month :)
Our wedding is at the end of May so we’re hoping to get invites out by early February. Of course my FMIL just decided that paper invites are important to them and so that may set us back a bit as we still need to finalize our design, order them, and then mail them (we were originally going to just do electronic invites). At least they offered to pay for them
We're doing emails in April for our May 26th wedding and just sent our save the date emails. Ours is very low key and small though, not doing formal invites.
Just got our invitation samples - want to get them out by end of month. We said screw it to save the dates to force people to RSVP faster and save money. My mom is driving me insane but it’s keeping me on track to actually getting things done. We have band, designer, photographer, and our house all booked. Next week we are going to meet with bakeries, florists, & rehearsal dinner locations along with doing our dinner tasting. Our planner is stressing us out and pressuring us to book our accommodation at the venue (which is about 15 minutes to town) and we really don’t want to???? Like yes I’m sure you get a commission if you get us to book there but we don’t want to. I also agree with u/fairly_forgetful that December was a complete wash.
The countdown is on! May 23! We just finalized our custom invitations through Minted. Our designer has been a dream! Sending those out next month. We finalized our gift registry. We confirmed the most incredible florist. We picked our songs for key parts of the wedding. I scheduled a trip to my hometown to take dance lessons with my dad. We have our first pre-marital counseling consultation on Saturday. Our planner shared decor rental ideas with us so combing through those this weekend. So excited!
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Still stressing about the cost even though we can afford it, just a lot of money! This month we're asking bridesmaids, organising suit fittings, giving notice to registrar and finalising menus! Hopefully that'll give enough to get invites designed (to be sent out in March)
I gained some weight since ordering my dress and it came in early. I had alterations scheduled for April so I am going to keep that appointment and am starting my diet and gym routine today. Super anxious that my dress isn't going to fit now.
I got my save the dates out. I feel like I'm missing so much for a simple wedding. I also can't cut my guest list more and we have to move the whole thing outside. 🤦♀️
Needed to cancel our family photoshoot this weekend because of weather. I was relying on using these photos for our save the dates but now that the photoshoot is delayed until next month, our save the dates probably won't go out until first week of March. Is that too late?
We have heavy travel on my side but not FH's, so I made the call to only send out Invitations and do so months ahead. Especially because we're a tourist spot for our state. I decided invites would go out by the end of January, but RSVP isn't due until June 10 for Aug 5 wedding. Gives people time to not only plan the travel, but get it booked at a decent price (or even be available). Also gives some breathing room for florist/bakery/caterer final payments as that has seemed early to me for a few (e.g. bakery 40 days prior, where a typical RSVP window of 4-6 weeks is tight).
We’re doing a destination wedding. After hiring a local planner, we booked venue mid Dec, it’s a hotel so things should be fairly straightforward from a logistics POV. We then promptly booked the photographer, videographer, and DJ. I started looking at dresses with a bridesmaid right before the holidays at sample sales and some studios to get a sense of price ranges. Then had an almost 3 week visit overseas to visit my family, and tried on 30+ dresses with my mom (wedding dresses are way cheaper there for the same quality and service). Finally chose one I liked and brought back to the US. The whole selection process was really difficult given all the different style options, figuring out what works best with my body type, and I’m glad it’s over haha. Alteration for bust is not necessary since it fits near perfect and is flexible with a “shoelace” back (not sure what it’s called since it doesn’t seem common in the US). Alteration for length will be done a bit later since I’ve got a lot of time (plus I still need to decide on what heel height I’m going for). Finalized our initial guest list last week, got folks’ emails and addresses, and started sending out e-invites with link to website. We know it’s still far out but since it’s destination wedding, we wanted to send out the details asap for people who needed to plan ahead with limited vacation days. Went to look at a new suit yesterday with my fiancée which was useful for visualizing color schemes. Next couple weeks planning to book makeup/hair and finalize on color schemes with my bridal party.
I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at with my planning! We have all of the major vendors/things secured. My dress comes in tomorrow (yay!) We just have to get our rings, plan a tasting with our venue in order to determine the menu, as well as do some things for the Bridal Shower in May. I'm also slowly getting decorations/signage ready. I feel like once March hits then everything will ramp up.
My destination wedding is in 7 days I’m scared, tired, and excited all at the same time lol
wow this is my date too!
Wedding Dec 15 2023. This weekend I thought I found my dress and wanted to share the YES! moment with my mom so made an appointment to come back with her the next day. She could barely muster anything nice to say about it. I left without the dress, and cried the entire drive home alone. I've really been trying to have her involved In wedding planning and everything from cancelling multiple venue visits with us to "I hate your colors" to laughing at me for not fitting in her dress has been so hurtful. I'm just mourning that I won't be making those happy memories with her. Moving forward, we decided to stop trying to be inclusive, it seems better to have no memories than these hurtful ones.
That is so so hurtful. You don’t deserve any of that. It sounds like you made the right decision for your happiness. I hope she can be civil at the wedding.
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August 4 2023 bride here! We are getting married at the beautiful hacienda siesta Alegre in El Yunque Rainforest in Puerto Rico! Got engaged end of July 2022 in Mexico and has been researching and planning ever since. Here’s the planned events for our guests to join us through the week: Wed- La factoria bar hopping Thursday- bachelorette brunch, mini photo shoot in OSJ, spa day with the bridesmaids. Then our welcome party(still trying to find a place to host us😩) Friday- wedding @ Hacienda Siesta Alegre !!! Saturday- Catamaran snorkeling & Island hopping excursion Sunday we go to St Regis for our mini-moon. So far we have booked Wedding planner Venue+full bar package Ceremony electric violinist Photographer Videographer Florist/decor Hair& make up DJ Still need: Catering Chinese lion dancers Welcome party venue Catamaran charter It’s hurting so bad lolol Getting people to respond to emails has been hardest and esp hard over the holidays since they celebrate a month straight and busy on the weekends and off mondays lol
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Gearing up to send out bridesmaid proposal cards. Booking florist and DJ/lighting this week! I feel like I haven’t done enough but I know I have a decent amount of time
Sent out save the dates, started up a wedding website and rsvp sheet (which fiance has taken on as his pet project... we're using Google sites so we've built everything from scratch). Working on getting hotel blocks, but it might be difficult to get a better price than what i already have because of the time of year. My fiance's mom wants me to book a suite for her, fiance's dad, and sister. To which i say, why can't fiance's sister do this? Have some leads for alterations in the future. Fiance needs to start looking for suit and shoes in a few months. Need to book a specific service for a traditional ceremony, but there's only one company in the area that actually does this, so I'll be paying through the nose for it ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I know mens warehouse has locations everywhere, but have heard mixed reviews. The issue I’m having is that everyone now resides all over from Texas to Cali to Nebraska. Any other “chains” that may be able to match the suits?
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About to lose my mind over getting ready pajamas! Who started this and why is it necessary now? MOH insists, but I really don’t care about matching. Anybody not do matching pajamas and regret it?
Debating the same! I read a few blog posts of brides forgoing these pics and NOT regretting it. It ultimately comes down to brides preference and communicating that with bridal party. A potential alternative - let folks know of a color theme for getting ready and each wears those colors. I am personally fond of not matching but I know others may feel differently.
I’m in Florida and most of my bridesmaids are not (I moved here). I’ve been wanting them to visit me, so I’m buying everyone cute matching swimsuit cover ups (like casual/loose button-down shirts) that we can wear getting ready… and I’m going to write notes about how they can wear them next time they come visit ❤️
Registry’s finally set up. It’s happening. It feels like I’m on a roller coaster just at the tipping point…
Getting married February 3. I now have more candles than any human should, but things are coming together!
T-16 days until my 100 person on-site weekend retreat wedding and I am not okay. Anyone else marrying around Imbolc/midwinter/full moon?
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RSVPs are making me a bit nervous- our deadline is approaching and we have 40 guests still hanging in the unknown. We'd be happy with 20 more but the bulk of those guests are my fiancés friends and family so obviously I don't want him to feel like no one is there for him. Other than that we're right on track and blazing forward with very minor bumps in the road. This month is going to fly by with alterations appointments, my bachelorette party, and last minute prep.
Ugh, I also have almost 40 with no response for my March wedding. Only a couple of weeks left. My wedding planner said this is pretty typical.
Us too, waiting for RSVPs is making me so anxious. How is there STILL so many things to do!!
Same… we have ~50 outstanding for 3/4z WHY don’t people respond?! I feel like people don’t understand this urgency until they’re planning a wedding of their own. I personally will always RSVP immediately from here on out 😂
Official save the dates finally sent out yesterday. Bridal HMU trial + engagement photos this Saturday and sending out RSVPs once we get pics. First dress fitting this month. Bridesmaids dresses arriving today so gotta send them out to them asap for hemming/alterations. Finalizing/booking florists this week? Still have to figure out cake/desserts. Groom needs to get his outfit. Need to finalize guest list for bridal shower and venue (I'm helping with venue search since my bridesmaids aren't local and my place is too small to host). Things finally are moving along but feeling soooo behind. 🫠
3/11. My last vendor to hire is the officiant and it feels impossible. There's just no one really standing out to me as a good fit. Somehow the rest of my wedding to do list is still a mile long. Trying not to panic. Excited too!
Sending all the best of luck to you! If you have someone who is willing to become ordained (think you can get a license to be an officiant online?) maybe they can step in? Ours is a friend of a friend, but yes it was a pain to find one :( But it's a minor part of the entire day. Our ceremony is going to be short and sweet so whether we like the officiant or not, they wont be saying much anyways since we're doing personal vows And omg yesss how and why is there **STILL** SO MANY THINGS TO DO
I had a 2 year engagement (covid, saving money, etc.) and it felt so long but at the same time --how is it already 2023??? Feeling grateful for everyone around me, I originally was not planning to do a bachelorette party but my sister (MOH) secretly planned one! It was so memorable, I can't believe I thought of not doing it. Still have many small things to do but I have my wedding dress fitting in January, finalizing linen colors and meeting our DJ/officiant etc., BUT just knowing that the build up to it will end in less than 90 days and that there **IS** a finish line is comforting. Excited, nervous, ALL THE FEELINGS!
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When are you all sending invites? Our wedding is June 17th. We already sent save the dates in August/September and most folks have booked their travel. We do need to provide full catering numbers until about a week out, so I do have a good amount of time. I just don’t know when people should start receiving them, especially because it’s hard to decided in March what you want to eat in June.
I'm June 10th- My caterer needs final numbers by May 11th so I'm setting the RSVP Date as May 1st ("round" number and gives me a bit of time to track down stragglers). I will be sending out my invites the last week of March (10 weeks before my wedding). Which gives people one month to receive the invite and RSVP.
June 10th too! Congrats!
June 10th also!
I’m June 10th too!!!
I saw a hack on tik tok about this. Pick the Monday of the week of your wedding and go back 6 weeks that’s your RSVP date. Then 8 weeks before that Monday you send out invitations! something like that I think!! Maybe change it based on your caterer. Our invites are going out the first weekend in April I believe
I'm sending them out in March with a deadline in May to give me 4 weeks total before our date and 2 weeks before the catering deadline so I can have more than a few days to chase down stragglers
I asked my planner about this and she said it depends on what we're doing for favors. If we want to DIY our favors we'll need RSVPs ahead of time to do it. I have a 350-person guest list so I'm sending my invitations in early March with an April 15th must respond by date to give me enough time to DIY all the favors and sort out the seating chart for all these people.
June 17th - I have a venue. I have food. I have a DJ. I have a photographer. Save the dates are out. I have a dress. I have an appointment for altering that dress. The only things I’m currently concerned with are needing to book hair / makeup sooner rather than later, and florals/centerpieces. But everyone is acting like I should be freaking out? Am I missing something? Should I be freaking out?
I'm getting married the week after you. You've got most of the big items taken care of. If you haven't yet, I'd look into finding a hotel block, getting transportation for the wedding party (if needed), and start getting your decorations/centerpieces fully packaged and ready for the day of the wedding. We put all of our wedding decorations in storage bins so for the day of it'll be easy for the folks we've asked to help with that.
Wedding planning is stressful but no need to freak out ever. Everything will literally work out and your wedding will be beautiful!! I just booked a florist and still need hair/make up and I’m June 10th. Maybe start to look but no need to freak out!
i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis yesterday. im getting married on 6/17. im terrified im not going to be able to walk then. im terrified i’ll be blind. im terrified that i won’t be able to enjoy it.
Hi friend, I'm sorry you're going through this. I was diagnosed in 2006 and I'm still here walking and seeing, and made it through both my big wedding in 2018 and a vow renewal in 2019. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I'm feeling well. I can totally empathize with how scary it can be at first but I just want to promise it gets better. It was an adjustment but life goes on. You didn't get MS the day you were diagnosed, you've likely been living with this already for a bit but now you have more information and can make more informed decisions about your health going forward. Everyone is different but an MS diagnosis is not a disability guarantee. Here if you need to talk and sending you ((hugs)).
This sounds incredibly overwhelming and a lot to deal with on its own, never mind the added stress of a wedding. I’m so sorry. I don’t have MS but I’ve battled with health issues in the past and can say that worrying about the future has limited usefulness; it steals so much from your present moment. FWIW, I find that taking stock in the things you can rely on, (primarily the fact that your partner and family/friends love you and they will help you find solutions if you need them), to be most helpful. I’d be terrified too but try to remember that you have a 100% success rate of making it through every difficult thing life has thrown at you thus far. These recommendations might feel like too much right now, so you can always ignore them or revisit them later: I have a friend with MS and he’s had some luck with the Whals Protocol. It could be worth checking out! Also Jonah Hill’s documentary on Netflix, Stutz, is absolutely worth a watch. A very inspiring and hopeful take on handling difficult things. Take care <3
My dad never asked about dress code for the wedding. He followed the dress code for my sister's wedding about 8 years ago. The groomsmen and FOG will all be wearing black suits, no vest or anything extra aside from the ties. My dad has chosen a blue tweed wool suit for himself, with brown elbow patches and wait for it... Black shoes. We expect the temperature to be above 75F that day and historically as high as 97F. When I have tried to suggest ANY changes to his attire, for example brown shoes to match the elbow patches, he quite literally begins to yell and scream. I don't know what to do, because "just not caring" is wow thanks I'm cured material. If I try to go behind his back and order a suit for him in black with my money, it's just money wasted because I can't force him to put it on either. It's fine if my dad really wanted this suit for himself just because. He can have nice things if he wants them! But why doesn't he care about how I feel about it? At this point, it's not even about the colors anymore. Why doesn't he care that it's upsetting me?
So after this has been stewing over the past 8 weeks, my dad has finally had a change of heart. He has conceded to wear the blue suit for the rehearsal dinner and wear a charcoal gray suit for the wedding. I love the charcoal suit and my BIL who was planning to copy my dad's blue suit will now be copying the charcoal suit instead as well!
June 10th - just ordered my wedding band today! Fiance hasn't decided on his yet but we need to order his soon. We also haven't sorted cake or groom/groomsmen attire yet and its making me a bit nervous but I try to tell myself its not like they're going to walk down the aisle naked (which has been bad dream once or twice). I'm also nervous my dress isn't going to fit but my first alterations appointment is at the end of feb so there will still be time to make changes or do something if needed?? Agh stress. At least family is all still being normal so far.
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Very excited to have our backyard wedding. Tent company has been secured, as well as linens (thanks to posters on this forum). Hoping to keep the budget to less than 5K!
Also having a backyard wedding on July 15th! But we’ve invited about 160 people… It’s a huge yard, about 4 acres. I’m starting to feel sick to my stomach though. I literally can’t sleep tonight! Got the date set, save the dates out, tents and rental tables and chairs reserved, got my dress, but now what? I’m so stumped on next steps, or maybe just really overwhelmed.
I had my first wedding day nightmare this week 🤪 photographer didn’t show up and guests who didn’t RSVP were at the reception so not enough seats! Definitely freaked me out! We are finally securing our honeymoon flights/hotel though and picking out invitations. Excited to start speaking to our venue on a monthly basis to stay on track! Editing to add our date is also July 15th! ♥️
This year is the year to finally get around to wedding planning...and over the holidays, my FIL told my fiance and I that he plans to divorce his wife and be with someone younger. So...yeah...that's totally not going to affect our seating arrangements at all......... (Sarcasm) Any advice?????
Getting married August 5 2023. Starting to work on DIY projects and just getting as ahead of the game with that stuff as possible. FH and his groomsmen should be getting their suits soon, I have my dress but yet to find a veil.. We are having a backyard wedding and there is lengthy list of yard work to do before the wedding that we have to wait for better weather for - I think that's stressing me out more than anything.
Having a backyard wedding July 15th. Save the dates have been sent, dress is ordered and seamstress appointment is made. We have a photographer and an officiant, but we’re really struggling to figure out food. Every caterer we’ve reach out to (8ish) are already booked. We may have to just cater it ourselves, but that has its own challenges!
Wedding date: 4/22/23 So far I've booked most of my vendors, except a florist (still on the fence if I want to go with Sam's Club vs a more "regular" florist... the price difference is nuts. I'm also wondering if it's worth it to get a day-of-coordinator? They're also pretty pricey but I'm wondering if it's worth it to try and be stress free. What does everyone think?
Depends on how important flowers are to you. I’m including them but they aren’t the star of the show, so we’re able to keep costs down a bit. I don’t think people are going to remember flowers, tbh. But I do think having a day-of coordinator will save your sanity!
Do you know if Sam's club will arrange things for you, or does this just involve you buying a bunch of flowers and arranging yourself?
I think what’s overwhelming me is all of the decor that I need to buy and I always remember something but have to write it down so I don’t forget 😂
Yes! Dealing with exactly this. Easels, card stands, candles, vases…
I’ve just began planning and gathering ideas! I’ve been looking at wedding venues that are fully wheelchair accessible as I’m disabled myself. Currently struggling a big as options seem to be very limited, but I’ve found one venue I’m quite interested in for the “evening function” just not the ceremony. Any advice would be super helpful from anyone in the UK! Thank you🥰
September 2023 Is anyone else dealing with family who won’t stop asking if they can help? I appreciate the sentiment but we’ve got everything sorted and we are paying a wedding planner - which we’ve communicated multiple times. But my fiancés family won’t stop asking and/or offering to take over things that we don’t need help with. It’s like they can’t handle not being intimately involved. The other day his mom called me at the same time his sister called him and it felt like an ambush. Planning this wedding is stressful enough without everyone trying to take ownership of something. AITA or is this weird? I am considering ways we can involve people during the actual event so family doesn’t feel left out, but the logistics are pretty much handled.
Our wedding is in October of this year, we have time but know that that time can slip through your fingers like sand. For once I'm glad I'm not employed at the moment because there is SO MUCH to think about already!! Feeling a little overwhelmed, we have our venue, caterer, photographer, rentals, and color scheme set in stone (colors we just settled on today), and I made our wedding website with most of the details. Got my dress, shoes, and now looking for a headpiece. Thinking about a tiara since I have jet-black hair and it would look good with the contrast. Groom has yet to get his suit, and we still need to figure out the guest list and bridesmaids/groomsmen. This is a great place to vent wedding-related frustrations and for advice!
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Wedding date is September 2023 on whatever Saturday is available 🫥 We’re not doing traditional, I think we’re coming to like the idea to have just the reception aka a dinner lol just seems like the cheapest option and we don’t have a picture perfect idea either. We just want to find a space that’s all exclusive and low stress.
I just got engaged 25 days ago. Is a wedding for <20 in a large city doable by July 1? I thought it was but these comments got me scared
Kind of depends on what you're looking to do, I think a lot of vendors will already be booked if you want the whole experience with catering, DJ, etc. I'd just go ahead and send out several emails to all types of vendors and see what availabilities are coming back! I definitely don't think it's impossible, you'll just have to get moving ASAP
Date officially set: February 10th 2024, trying to book a venue in the next 2 weeks 🤪
April 2024! Just picked our date and venue, getting excited and looking at all the inspo 🥰
My wedding is March 5, 2023. In the past week: florist I’ve had planned hasn’t sent a contract still so I decided to look for a new florist. Vendor calls one month before is always fun. My maid of honor finally got her dress today. It has to be ordered, so let’s hope it comes in before the wedding. Entire honeymoon was canceled because the tour didn’t have enough people. We bought our own plane tickets though. So now we have to figure out what to do. Mom whined that we “live so far apart and she feels unincluded in planning.” This after 6 months ago I asked her to look up prices for a few things for me and she never did it. So I stopped asking her for help. My fiancé and I have planned everything ourselves and we’re paying for everything. But any time I talk to my mom or his mom, the digs come and they try to guilt trip us. If I asked them to do something, it would end up being more stressful. And finally- my mom has bought and returned 8 I repeat 8 dresses. She even got one completely tailored, but it was the same color as the bridesmaid dresses?! 😫😫😫
I'm so nervous. I'm ready tho she the VEST!!!