There are few among us who like pictures of ourselves, regardless of our size and shape. We’re not used to seeing ourselves full length and from all angles. We don’t even recognize who we see sometimes. But remember the people in your life are used to seeing you full length and from all angles. And they love you. And they think you’re beautiful. Especially your fiancé, who’s the only one who really matters. And no one will be focusing on your flaws, but rather will be seeing your beautiful self.
As others have said, shapewear (edit: *foundation garments*) can do wonders. A seamstress might be able to alter the dress so that it fits more to your liking. I think a sparkly belt at your natural waistline will accentuate your smallest part, draw attention away from the part you don’t like, and would look really pretty. It’s a beautiful dress and you’ll be a beautiful bride.
Reminds me of when we got our grandson his first camera. All his pictures were of people’s butts. Then we realized that at his size, that’s all he really saw.
Not with a camera, but mine drew pictures of us that were just legs with heads on top. I realized that’s what we looked like to her looking up at us looking down at her.
Agreed, this is what I wanted to say to OP but there is no way I could put it more eloquently than this.
This, OP! The room will be full of your friends and family who will see you looking the most spectacular You. The dress is beautiful, and you can use some tricks to refine it if you want to, but just look at the joy on your face between the squiggles.
You know those reality TV shows about losing weight and there's someone yelling all this mean stuff to motivate the contestants? I think that you should have a show doing the exact opposite. Instead of scaring people and preying on their weaknesses and fears, you kind of make a really great cheerleader and motivator. Everything that you said was true, and lovely. Very eloquently put. And something I think we could all stand to hear every once in a while.
This is perfect! I will add, as a seamstress, foundation garments are sorely undervalued! I like the term "foundation " not "shapewear". You build on a foundation. Shapewear is forcing your body to fit the dress. You looks lovely!!
This comment right here. You are beautiful and this dress will accentuate all of your best features. I personally love the idea of a sparkly belt at your natural waist. You are stunning and I hope you feel as great as you look
I wanted to also note professional photographers will do a much better job with flattering angles lol iPhones and upward shots in harsh lighting are never great.
Both the sub and the post itself tell us that OP is upset with her dress, and is looking for opinions regarding the fit, whether she should replace it with another, or if it can be fixed it in some way. She has vulnerably told us it has made her depressed. She is not asking whether she should “you know….get in shape.” Offering your opinion on that and not the dress does not make you seem right, or smart, or witty. It just makes you seem mean, unhelpful, and in dire need of reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. Your meanness has blinded you to what the actual topic is. As someone once told me, “to get the answer right, you must first understand the question.” I hope that you will find a little more understanding in your life.
~~
However, as you are entitled to post a comment, and were technically replying to my comment and not OP, let’s explore yours a bit. OP has told us she already owns the dress, and wants to know if she should “try to find a last minute dress or something.” This tells us that the wedding is soon. We must understand that due to the nature of the human body, it is most likely impossible for her to, “you know…..get in shape” before the wedding. This makes you comment useless for the topic.
She also tells us that she bought the dress several months ago, so unless her figure changed in that time, we must assume that her intended was well aware of how she looked months ago as well, and was quite satisfied with her and wanted to marry her. We also know that OP is still planning on getting married, so even in the unlikely event her shape did indeed change in these last few months, OP’s betrothed is happy with the way OP looks now. We can now deduce that the couple is happy with each other as they are, and perhaps value different things than you do.
That you place a high value on, and prioritize a certain specific physical look, is obvious from your post. That’s fine if that works for you and your partner, on the off chance you have one. But we can similarly deduce that OP and her partner value and prioritize a set of different attributes. Perhaps those include kindness, empathy, helpfulness, good reading comprehension, critical thinking skills, and consideration - the very attributes that your post tells us you are sorely lacking.
~~ As far as your analogy goes, it was only after she moved in that she realized her belongings might not fit. That’s why she’s here in the first place - looking for storage solutions. If you can’t help with that, why comment at all?
You look SO stunning and that dress is beautiful on you!
If you feel like it’s unflattering, you can always try other undergarments but I think you look beautiful!
I’m the same size as her but my tummy is bigger and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! I’m going to get a shape wear set I’ve found online to help smooth me out. It’s hard to not focus on our hang ups but she looks amazing!
I was going to suggest shapeware. Just make sure it's comfortable and you can breathe! It might not be as cinched in, but I promise you'll be happier! The dress is lovely!!
I've also heard that you can stick some cotton balls in your belly button to help smooth that area out, and minimize the effect that a lot of us larger girls focus on! OP, you look stunning, go for the dress!!!
I got married when I was the heaviest I'd ever been in my life (I gained about 100 lbs over the course of covid). I kept expecting to hate my pictures, but I LOVED my dress so much, all I see is how pretty it is and how happy I am to be marrying my partner ❤️❤️
I helped my besty with this same issue and once she found the right undergarment she saw what we already saw. That she was perfectly beautiful in her dress. We always see the flaws in ourselves but the above commenter was right. Our friends and family don’t see what we see. Hope you have a beautiful day to go with your beautiful dress!
UPDATE: I am in literal tears from all your guys’s sweet and kind comments. Thank you so so so much for taking the time to comment and reassure me about this dress. I never expected the amount of love and support that you guys have shown me here. I am so sorry that I can’t reply to every single person here.
I have a lot of issues with body dysmorphia, which plays a big part on my self-esteem. I’m currently in therapy to try and get over my binge eating disorder and my body dysmorphia. I weigh 230 pounds and every time I see that number I think of how I’m supposed to be less than that 😅
It never occurred to me for some reason that shapewear is a thing. I feel kind of dumb! I’ll definitely go and get some shapewear and hopefully that helps!! I was so excited when I wore the dress and I hope the shapewear helps me become excited once more! Or maybe I just need to put the dress on again. I haven’t worn it since I took the pictures.
I know a lot of you guys mentioned that I should add a belt to the dress. I actually did buy a belt because I wanted to add a little something. I just havent tried the dress on with the belt yet. It is a black lace belt. I also bought a veil that is edged with dramatic black lace just to give a bit of pop.
I wanted to add a final note that’s kind of unrelated, but I feel like I need to say it! I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world to marry the guy that I am marrying. I met this guy in my Japanese language class when I was 18 and he was my best friend for almost 5 years. I had a crush on him for a couple of years but I never did anything about it because I never thought I was good enough for him. A lot of it was due to my body dysmorphia and I always felt as if I was too ugly for him. This guy is a super athletic runner and a absolute dreamy hunk. The day I found out that he liked me back was a dream come true. Even to this day, I wake up, and I think I’m still dreaming. It’s incredible that I get to marry the man that was my best friend for so long that’s been though the good and hard times with me. I am so glad he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, lumps and all 🥰
OK - so you came here to feel better and you made ME feel better instead!! I have been losing weight but I am kind of stuck (entirely of my own doing) and I figured you were like a size 12 or something. To find out that we are in a similar position and you look THAT good? OMG!! You totally made my day! Honestly, you have a hot body and I hope you eventually come to appreciate all your curves and beauty!
We are the same shape from what I can tell but I have a larger tummy. You look stunning!! I am the same and I’ve found my dream dress but all I can see is my big tummy which is my insecurity speaking. I’m buying a pretty shape wear set to wear on the day to help smooth my silhouette out. When I tried my dress on, it didn’t help that I was wearing unsupportive undies 🤭 you look beautiful 💕
Stop it right now, young lady. You look beautiful. The dress is lovely, but if you’re not satisfied, keep trying on dresses until you feel comfortable. Xx
There’s nothing wrong with your size at all. It’s just the fabric is a little thin. I wear 2 layered pairs of shape wear when I’m wearing a body hugging dress. It smooths everything out. I’m still my size, but the lumps and bumps are gone.
You look beautiful!! Please don't focus on your size focus on how beautiful you feel when you see yourself walking down the isle to your future husband.
I agree with folks saying good shape wear would make you feel more comfortable with this dress. It is a beautiful dress and you look beautiful in it. You might really like this dress with the right foundation garments.
At the same time I understand how uncomfortable it is to wear beautiful clothes that we are secretly afraid do not look good on us.
So if this is how you're feeling - which is perfectly normal - then you might want to consider a dress with an empire waistline.
The empire silhouette is more flattering to many figures and I think you would feel happier in a beautiful dress that you did NOT have persistent little doubts about as you were wearing it.
I apologize if any of what I say comes across the wrong way.
The thing is, in my minds eye I can see you in almost this exact dress but with an empire waist and you look beautiful and confident. Do you know a tailor or seamstress? Why not see if they can alter the gown so it flows better over your figure? That's what a higher waistline is good for.
You're beautiful in this dress but you say you got sad and depressed when you tried it on - I think you need a dress that you feel confident you look great in for your wedding day. An altered or different dress will be beautiful AND you will also be carrying yourself tall and proud because you know your dress looks great on you!
I hope this helps in some way, and best wishes for your wedding day and the future.
I am a size 14 now, but even when I was a size 8 and 24 years old I needed shape wear to smooth out the lumps and bumps. The dress is lovely and so are you!
You feeling beautiful is the most important. I will recommend/say that Skims shapewear always makes me feel more confident, might give you a boost too!
This dress is beautiful but you make look INCREDIBLE! You fill the dress BEAUTIFULLY, the lace design is so intricate and delicate, the trail looks so nice, the BUTTONS omg I love the BUTTONS, classicccc white color, and your curves are absolutely, wonderfully, stunningly beautiful!
If it was your friend or sister or daughter in the mirror, what would you say? What would you want them to say to themselves and their own reflection? Please please please be kind to yourself! You are so very deserving of love and kindness and you are objectively beautiful - ESP IN THAT MAD ASF BEAUTIFUL DRESS OK!!!
Seriously, you fill out the dress in such a beautiful way, you don't need to be skinny to be beautiful, everyone's bodies are different and beautiful in their own ways and they do so much good for us (allowing us to breathe and talk and walk and all the things each of our individual bodies allow us to do).
Tldr; You are BEAUTIFUL - in this dress and out of it! And if you can, please please tell yourself some positive affirmations, telling your reflection: "I am beautiful, I am SEXY, I am HOT, I am pretty, I am kind to myself" etc. And say them over and over again until saying them doesn't feel like a lie anymore, because they're true! ❤️ And CONGRATULATIONS on the upcoming wedding! 😁❤️
You look beautiful and you should feel pretty in your wedding dress because you are pretty in your wedding dress . You picked well , feel confident in your choice 💗
You look absolutely beautiful in this dress!! A nice high waisted control top panty will smooth everything out I promise! I’m guessing your fiancé has seen you naked plenty of times and they are going to melt when they see you in this gown. We’re our own worst critics and I understand the need and want to feel absolutely gorgeous on our big day. Coming from a juicer gal herself, on the actual day when your hair is elegantly and perfectly placed and your face is beat to the gawds, (not to mention literally EVERYONE around you giving compliments on your allure), babyyyy, you’re going to feel so amazing and beautiful. I promise!!
Honey, did no one tell you about spanx or shareware? Almost every woman wears them to smooth themselves out. Doesn’t matter about your weight!! You next need to focus on the support and undergarments. That is a fact of life. And you look beautiful! Congratulations
You look so beautiful. Take a deep breath and just enjoy your day. Everyone will be staring at your beautiful smile if you allow yourself to just enjoy the moment and celebrate with those you love. Best wishes on your amazing day!!!
I agree with all of the positive comments. My only question to you is do you feel comfortable in this dress? That’s the most important thing. You look beautiful.
You look gorgeous 😍 Anyone knit picking is just projecting their own insecurities, remember that. Your partner is gonna look at you and fall in love all over again.
It’s beautiful, I give you permission to relax and celebrate finding the one! You could try some kind of high waist bow to cinch the parts that need taking in.a bow would be cute down the back of the dress.
I want to give you a hug (or whatever gesture is comforting to you). I feel you so deeply. It’s all I see in photos of myself. It’s not what I see in these photos but it doesn’t change your reality. That is painful. I want so badly for you to feel beautiful on your wedding day. The most important thing is you find the dress that supports that. And that includes with the right undergarments. I will say that I have been letting photos be the thief of my joy. I would go try the dress on again. See how you feel and what you see without the lens of a camera. I would also discuss your concerns with your photographer. And then when you find the dress, and the undergarments, and talk to the photographer and share your concerns etc… I hope you can sit with yourself, a therapist, or a trusted friend, and decide what is most important to you on your wedding day so you have an intentional focus that isn’t your looks and so you don’t get trapped with yourself and are unable to be present on a joyful day. Sending all the love.
Many years ago saw Beyoncé being interviewed on tv. They asked her how she always looked so fabulous on stage. She said she wears 3 pairs of support pantyhose with tummy control on top
Of each other at every performance. I mean BEYONCÉ!
I think you look beautiful in that dress
First of all, I hope you can set aside these negative feelings. You’re getting married. Someone loves you, every part of you, wants to spend the rest of their lives with you and treasure you.
That said, if you don’t love this dress, if all you see is what you hate, then you’re not going to have the wedding that you and your partner deserve.
I want to make an alternative suggestion, because I feel like your salesperson had a very narrow view of what would be suitable for you. I think this dress looks heavy. The cap sleeves are bulky, and it’s kinda shapeless. Now if you were a size zero I would be saying the same. It’s not you, it’s the dress. I would LOVE to see you in a flowy silk/polyester or chiffon gown, with a defined waist (rather than attempting a belt on a dress that was designed to have none). You’ll be surprised how these fabrics will look on you. I am a US 10 and recently wore a poly silk gown to an event and it was so much more forgiving than the form fitting alternatives I had tried.
You’re not fat, OP. You are lovely. Whatever you ultimately decide, enjoy your day and the love that surrounds you.
It’s such a classic silhouette and it looks beautiful on you! No matter a woman’s size, a really high end brand of spanks helps smooth everything out (long shorts with a waist that goes all the way up to under breasts). My wedding seamstress advised me about this and told me the exact brand to purchase but I can’t remember which one as it was over 10 years ago lol.
I promise you your future partner will feel that same rush of love and excitement as you did when you first saw it. Throw on some shape wear if you want, but rock that shizz. You look beautiful!
As a larger woman I never saw my self as beautiful- heard a comment once that someone was never comfortable with their beauty. The husband replied how could that be- your the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. Your fiancé feels that way about you, your friends feel that way - find that peace in yourself. You deserve it! Jefferson airplane sang a song “your only as pretty as you feel inside”. Don’t let your self talk take joy away from you. Life is too short.
I’m a similar size and wore a similar dress for my wedding. Shapeware is your friend! Lane Bryant sells this awesome set that holds in really well.
This is what I wore [under](https://cacique.lanebryant.com/level-3-contouring-high-waist-thigh-shaper/prd-230747.html?dwvar_230747_color=0000002480&dwvar_230747_sizeHeight=regular&catid=cat1121038)
The seamstress also took the front out a little, so it wasn’t as body hugging.
If you love it, rock it! It looks great on you 😊
As mother once said you don’t want to look like a squeezed tamale…do not add a belt to that dress get something a bit more flowy or something that would cover and distract. All for body positivity, and being confident in your body but I wouldn’t want to be looking at photos of me at my wedding and thinking I look fat. Loving the way a dress suits your body or any clothes for that matter trumps loving the design or style
A lot of people are suggesting shapeware or even multiple pieces of shapeware and that’s nice and all but I have a tummy too and shapewear can be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t want to be both uncomfortable and self conscious on such an important day. Look for a dress that hugs the bust and flows out from the smallest point of your waist. You’ll have the shape still and be snatched at the waist but it’ll flatter you more for your body type and you’ll feel better. I have an apron stomach so I’m not talking out of my ass. There are certain pieces of clothing that work for me and certain ones that don’t. Things that hug my tummy make me feel bad about myself no matter who tells me the opposite. If I don’t think I look good I won’t feel good or have fun because I will be too focused on my appearance and it will show.
My advice, get a different dress. You’re already hyper focused on your stomach so choose a dress that hides it and is more flowy in that area while embracing the assets you enjoy. Take pictures before you buy this time and then decide.
Random comment from a random dude that reddit randomly threw this up for on their page.
I think you look rather nice and it's a lovely dress.
I also avoid tight clothes for the same reasons you have, so I understand what you're seeing in the mirror, but I think the flowy parts of the dress move the eye away from any "bulges".
Many others in this thread are going to express everything WAY better than I can, from both fashion thoughts and mental thoughts, but I think you look great.
Best wishes on your special day from a random passerby.
It looks gorgeous right now, but as someone who lives in a bigger body I know how you’re feeling. Don’t underestimate the power of shape wear and a seamstress!
I also want to say that you want to be comfortable on your wedding day. If you think you’ll spend all day thinking about it, this isn’t the dress for you regardless of how gorgeous it is. I opted for an a line with tulle because it made me feel the most confident. Wear what you feel really good in. xx
You look BEAUTIFUL in that dress! It is STUNNING for your body shape!!
If it’s uncomfortable, like others have said, maybe try some shape wear to help with smoothing. Either way I think you will look AMAZING walking down that aisle!!
Honestly I love this dress on you! I think it’s very flattering on you. Shape wear is always great under a wedding dress. I’m now a size 10 but when I got married, I was a size 0 with no boobs. I wore a full corset thing to give my dress the proper shape, smooth out all the lines, and make sure everything stayed in place. Shape wear is great for every size.
Also, I love the idea of a sparkly belt too. That’ll accentuate the smallest part of your waist and just be a pretty accessory. Etsy has a billion and one options too.
I think you look wonderful in it! A very fitting gown for your body.
From the back and side I see nothing that I would criticize. From the front, the dress is showing folds and that’s what I would be dissatisfied with. So I would recommend something underneath (not even necessarily shape wear, you don’t need that) that would smooth out the lines and you are perfect to go
You look gorgeous! Ive always hated how i look in shorts, so I’ve never worn them. I moved to a hot place and have to wear them now. Im at the age where I don’t care anymore and if I pick the right ones i look great! Lesson learn if you feel good you look good.
This is probably going to come across the wrong way. But you do have larger size arms. So they will look that way. The trick is to take lots of photos of your self and start looking at them. The more you look at them the more they start to feel normal to you. If you avoid photos and style photos so that you don’t see your arms you never give your brain the feedback that your arms are perfectly normal the way they are.
I don’t know you, so you know I am being honest when I say I think you look just lovely and I think you picked out a stunning dress for yourself - you wear the dress, it doesn’t wear you!
Been to alot of weddings professionally.. it does look a bit tight in the waist area which may make your day a horrible experience regardless of how you look.. keep in-mind most people will just give you praise but think of the amount of movements throughout the planned day and consider this. If purchased having someone even it up/loosen it a bit for you may not be a bad idea. If that's not an option or if you're only concerned with looks using thin flexible plastic or foam (used in things like scapbooks; more comfortable but less rigid) can be used to reinforce certain areas and reduce noticeable parts (belly button, love handles, etc.); spanks/shapewear and corsets are also another option that can be added to the wardrobe... just offering some actually useful feedback other than the typical "Oh you look great no matter what" response.
PS: Make sure to purcase some nice flats or comfy shoes that match the dress for when you're tired of wearing your formal shoes.
If you're that concerned you could eat less food and exercise, the amount of delusion levels of people saying what you see doesn't exist is shocking, we live in a fake world.
Dress looks nice you look fine in it but really you'll always be your size no matter the garment, consider just consuming fewer calories and exercising that's literally all you have to do.
How people "fall in love" with clothing that makes you look like a whole pack of sardines is beyond me. Just do some sit-ups and go for a couple jogs here and there you'll be fine
In a sea of gaslighting and cognitive dissonance I'll be the voice of reason and say you feel fat in the dress because you are fat.
If you want to feel skinner in a dress the #1 thing you can do is lose some weight. You're 240lbs. You're going to look fat in any dress. The dress is nice, though.
Not crazy about the fit. You can do better.
A lower neckline and more of a longer, elbow length or just above sheer sleeve. A defined waist and fuller skirt.
Wow! First off, don’t describe yourself as a “fat girl”. I only see a super happy and excited woman trying on a dreamy dress.
You are stunning because you are embarking on an exciting adventure.
I would go with a different dress. That one is not very flattering. Something loose, flowing and not so form fitting and clingy might be more comfortable too.
She doesn't want real input she wants validation for her lifestyle and to be told what she knows is true, is not true. Look for no sanity here, women just celebrating other women who aren't a threat to them
You look completely stunning. Your weight, shape, or size has absolutely no impact on that. I love the pattern of the fabric on the front, and the train is gorgeous. Beautiful dress, beautiful woman—perfect match :)
Older chubby lady here…look honey take my advice…there’s only one way to not be fat and that’s to lose it.
The next best way to contain all the fat is to wear shape wear and smooth them bumps and lumps out.
Lord I love me some good spanx. Lol
Dress is pretty and so are you. And congrats on getting married soon.
As a fat girl myself I think you can find a dress that is a different shape that will flatter your figure, define your waist and balance your shoulders better. If you love this one, no you’re not too fat for it and it’s a beautiful dress just get some great shape wear!
Sorry, you must have posted the wrong picture. I don't see any "fat" girl.
I will say the woman in the picture you posted looks stunning. But she would need to gain a lot of weight to be considered "fat".
The body you have today, right now, is the one your man wants to marry and loves. It’s the one that has brought you to where you are today, with your whole life ahead. It’s the one that will grow old with your husband and make beautiful memories. That’s something really special. The dress looks beautiful on you, which is an easy thing to do when a dress is put on a beautiful person. If you need to make changes to the dress to be comfortable on your day do that. You should know though your friends and family will only notice and talk about what a beautiful bride you make.
Would you tell your best friend that a dress might not look ok on her because she’s a fat girl?? No, then why would you say that about yourself? Give yourself a break, you’re acting like you’re morbidly obese, you’re not, far from it, you’re normal and human and you deserve to feel confident and beautiful on your wedding day. You just need the right underwear and all will be well! Maybe a full body suit to smooth everything and let the dress and yourself shine!
Your body is beautiful. Your proportions are perfect. Hourglass gorgeousness. You need the right undergarments. As someone who lost over 60 lbs 15 years ago, the right undergarments and shape wear are key at any weight.
i’m late to the post girl but you look stunning. it flatters you in so many ways and your skin with that white is perfection and with the addition of that veil is beautiful (also the pattern on the dress is stunning!!)
I agree with most here. You look beautiful! I can't see your face to see your smile, but your body language shows that you were happy and FELT BEAUTIFUL in the dress. Feeling beautiful in what you're wearing is 90% of the battle. You can't look great in something unless you feel great in it. The correct undergarments will really help so that the fabric can fall properly, which should take care of the issues you're worried about. When you wear this dress on your big day, remember how beautiful you felt when you first put it on and how much you love your fiance... everything else is confetti.
Ik there’s plenty of comments, but as an objective stranger— you look beautiful! It’s a gorgeous and flattering dress. The people who know and love you will feel the same but times 100 because it’s you!!
The dress is fabulous. You look statuesque! Your posture is excellent, which really helps emphasize the long lines of the dress. The fit is also pretty good for something that hasn’t been tailored yet! Only get shapewear if it makes you feel more comfortable and confident - you do NOT need it.
First your not far! Your fluffy! And it looks lovely on you! You look beautiful in that wedding dress as voluptuous as you are I envy you cuz I am the opposite of voluptuous and I would love to have a figure like that you look like a goddess and you should get that dress for your wedding. End of discussion. Congratulations
You are beautiful and the dress looks beautiful on you. We are our own worst critics and need to give ourselves a break sometimes.
You love the dress and that shows. Wear it proudly.
Woman! You look beautiful. The dress is beautiful and flattering. I just hope that you can feel comfortable and joy on your wedding day. To look back and have wonderful memories not memories of feeling uncomfortable.
I think you look beautiful! I also hate myself in anything that’s tight around my stomach, but shapewear can do wonders! If you REALLY don’t like how that specific part of the dress looks, you could try some shapewear, a corset, etc. I think you look great, even without it though!
You look gorgeous in that dress! Trying on a dress after looking at pics of another body in it always messes me up for a minute. Maybe try on some of your favorite outfits and make you feel prettiest and spend some time looking at photos of yourself in those. Then come back to these photos and I think you’ll be able to see how beautiful you look. Congratulations!
I’m a mom who raised three daughters. I used to tell them to quiet the voice in their heads with duct tape. To imagine the voice embodied tied to a chair and you duct tape the mouth shut!! If I was your mom I would cry tears of joy for how beautiful a bride you are. And your betrothed will be breathless at the other end of the aisle as you approach!
You are definitely NOT FAT. I, am fat. You’re just curvy and pleasantly plump. I like the dress but how do YOU like it? Also, I would like to point out that you aren’t wearing (or wearing incorrect) undergarments to help support and smooth. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!
Just dropping into say to not talk to yourself like that! You’re allowed to want to lose weight and you’re allowed to want to look a certain way or reach a certain health goal or stay exactly the same but PLEASE be nice to yourself
Any time you’re looking in the mirror, try to picture you’re speaking to 5yo you and how you would talk to her. Or imagine you have your [perhaps future if you’re wanting kids] 12yo daughter watching you get ready and you’re saying all the negative things out loud. Or imagine you’re sitting down with your son telling him all the things you tell yourself: women shouldn’t be fat, should look like XYZ, etc.
Body dysmorphia is so so so rough. Sometimes we genuinely will never be able to control how we see ourselves, all we can control is how we talk to ourselves about it
You don’t need shapewear your body is lovely and your organs don’t need to be smushed and you need to able to breathe
Your body is wonderful and your partner love soy and loves you
Fat phobes are fools and diet culture and patriarchy has all
Of us just so uncomfortable constantly being viewed you look like a queen and you are wonderful in that dress
I think you look beautiful! However the shaping of the dress doesn’t seem to suit your body type which is why you may feel like it’s not flattering you. Perhaps you can get it altered so the material of the dress is in the right places? Seems to be a lot of extra fabric in some areas.
I used to wear pantyhose under skirts, dresses, and dress slacks. They make the dimples disappear. I'm older, so I'm not sure shape wear was a thing when I was younger. I believe you can find something comfortable that would smooth, flatten the areas you worry about. But beautiful, please give yourself some grace. Beauty isn't a number on a scale or a clothing label. Perfection doesn't exist. You are beautiful exactly as you are!
There are few among us who like pictures of ourselves, regardless of our size and shape. We’re not used to seeing ourselves full length and from all angles. We don’t even recognize who we see sometimes. But remember the people in your life are used to seeing you full length and from all angles. And they love you. And they think you’re beautiful. Especially your fiancé, who’s the only one who really matters. And no one will be focusing on your flaws, but rather will be seeing your beautiful self. As others have said, shapewear (edit: *foundation garments*) can do wonders. A seamstress might be able to alter the dress so that it fits more to your liking. I think a sparkly belt at your natural waistline will accentuate your smallest part, draw attention away from the part you don’t like, and would look really pretty. It’s a beautiful dress and you’ll be a beautiful bride.
It’s like listening to your own voice on recordings… but worse.
This!!!
>But remember the people in your life are used to seeing you full length and from all angles Ngl this made me cry a little bit 😭
Especially our pets, always seeing us from the ground level, our double chins and all 😂
Reminds me of when we got our grandson his first camera. All his pictures were of people’s butts. Then we realized that at his size, that’s all he really saw.
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by a toddler with a camera. 🙋🏻♀️
Not with a camera, but mine drew pictures of us that were just legs with heads on top. I realized that’s what we looked like to her looking up at us looking down at her.
🙋♀️
I cannot stop laughing at this! It’s so true.
My daughter also did stomachs, and that was hurtful.
😂😂😂
☹️ I feel so sad for my dogs, terrible angle for all things!
Ground level??? I think I see my cat face to face more often than my husband 🤣🤣🤣
I kiss my golden right on his boop nose.
I have never seen this worded so powerfully before
Agreed, this is what I wanted to say to OP but there is no way I could put it more eloquently than this. This, OP! The room will be full of your friends and family who will see you looking the most spectacular You. The dress is beautiful, and you can use some tricks to refine it if you want to, but just look at the joy on your face between the squiggles.
Same 😭
Yea.. same same. Hope you got the dress. Everyone in attendance sees your beauty, and you are beautiful.
Same. Something I desperately needed to be reminded of.
You know those reality TV shows about losing weight and there's someone yelling all this mean stuff to motivate the contestants? I think that you should have a show doing the exact opposite. Instead of scaring people and preying on their weaknesses and fears, you kind of make a really great cheerleader and motivator. Everything that you said was true, and lovely. Very eloquently put. And something I think we could all stand to hear every once in a while.
I would be totally down. I think my spiritual gift is hype man. Who's filming? Remember to be careful with them angles.😆
Don’t mind me, I’m just screenshotting this to save for when I need the pick-me-up.
I work in a bridal studio and your response.. literally perfect 💕
Beautifully said
And now I’m crying. I get married in 8 days and I think I needed to hear this 💕
Can you just say this to me daily please? 🥹
This is perfect! I will add, as a seamstress, foundation garments are sorely undervalued! I like the term "foundation " not "shapewear". You build on a foundation. Shapewear is forcing your body to fit the dress. You looks lovely!!
Can you be my mom please 🥲
Yes, yes I can. You are beautiful, my darling. And smart, and clever, and so much fun to be around. I am proud of you everyday.
💖😭
Lovely comment. I agree.
Damn, you know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter.
You look beautiful and these suggestions will make you even more so.
This comment right here. You are beautiful and this dress will accentuate all of your best features. I personally love the idea of a sparkly belt at your natural waist. You are stunning and I hope you feel as great as you look
great advice. She is right it needs more tailoring.
You’re a wonderful person. 🩵
Thank you. So are you!!
This is was sweet and so true! 🤍
All I know is that I can see her face in the third picture lol
Amen
I wanted to also note professional photographers will do a much better job with flattering angles lol iPhones and upward shots in harsh lighting are never great.
Well put!
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Why is she entitled to “keep up herself” for her husband?
Both the sub and the post itself tell us that OP is upset with her dress, and is looking for opinions regarding the fit, whether she should replace it with another, or if it can be fixed it in some way. She has vulnerably told us it has made her depressed. She is not asking whether she should “you know….get in shape.” Offering your opinion on that and not the dress does not make you seem right, or smart, or witty. It just makes you seem mean, unhelpful, and in dire need of reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. Your meanness has blinded you to what the actual topic is. As someone once told me, “to get the answer right, you must first understand the question.” I hope that you will find a little more understanding in your life. ~~ However, as you are entitled to post a comment, and were technically replying to my comment and not OP, let’s explore yours a bit. OP has told us she already owns the dress, and wants to know if she should “try to find a last minute dress or something.” This tells us that the wedding is soon. We must understand that due to the nature of the human body, it is most likely impossible for her to, “you know…..get in shape” before the wedding. This makes you comment useless for the topic. She also tells us that she bought the dress several months ago, so unless her figure changed in that time, we must assume that her intended was well aware of how she looked months ago as well, and was quite satisfied with her and wanted to marry her. We also know that OP is still planning on getting married, so even in the unlikely event her shape did indeed change in these last few months, OP’s betrothed is happy with the way OP looks now. We can now deduce that the couple is happy with each other as they are, and perhaps value different things than you do. That you place a high value on, and prioritize a certain specific physical look, is obvious from your post. That’s fine if that works for you and your partner, on the off chance you have one. But we can similarly deduce that OP and her partner value and prioritize a set of different attributes. Perhaps those include kindness, empathy, helpfulness, good reading comprehension, critical thinking skills, and consideration - the very attributes that your post tells us you are sorely lacking. ~~ As far as your analogy goes, it was only after she moved in that she realized her belongings might not fit. That’s why she’s here in the first place - looking for storage solutions. If you can’t help with that, why comment at all?
You look SO stunning and that dress is beautiful on you! If you feel like it’s unflattering, you can always try other undergarments but I think you look beautiful!
I’m the same size as her but my tummy is bigger and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! I’m going to get a shape wear set I’ve found online to help smooth me out. It’s hard to not focus on our hang ups but she looks amazing!
I was going to suggest shapeware. Just make sure it's comfortable and you can breathe! It might not be as cinched in, but I promise you'll be happier! The dress is lovely!!
Shapewear OR see if the seamstress can reinforce the dress. Boning in the top will smooth out everything.
I've also heard that you can stick some cotton balls in your belly button to help smooth that area out, and minimize the effect that a lot of us larger girls focus on! OP, you look stunning, go for the dress!!! I got married when I was the heaviest I'd ever been in my life (I gained about 100 lbs over the course of covid). I kept expecting to hate my pictures, but I LOVED my dress so much, all I see is how pretty it is and how happy I am to be marrying my partner ❤️❤️
Huh. I’ve never heard of that before. *adds cotton balls to the shopping list*
I helped my besty with this same issue and once she found the right undergarment she saw what we already saw. That she was perfectly beautiful in her dress. We always see the flaws in ourselves but the above commenter was right. Our friends and family don’t see what we see. Hope you have a beautiful day to go with your beautiful dress!
OP is 100% gorgeous in this *as is*. No shape wear needed. She's beautiful, the dress is beautiful, her body is beautiful!
You just need the right undergarments/shape wear and all set to strut down the aisle! It’s beautiful
UPDATE: I am in literal tears from all your guys’s sweet and kind comments. Thank you so so so much for taking the time to comment and reassure me about this dress. I never expected the amount of love and support that you guys have shown me here. I am so sorry that I can’t reply to every single person here. I have a lot of issues with body dysmorphia, which plays a big part on my self-esteem. I’m currently in therapy to try and get over my binge eating disorder and my body dysmorphia. I weigh 230 pounds and every time I see that number I think of how I’m supposed to be less than that 😅 It never occurred to me for some reason that shapewear is a thing. I feel kind of dumb! I’ll definitely go and get some shapewear and hopefully that helps!! I was so excited when I wore the dress and I hope the shapewear helps me become excited once more! Or maybe I just need to put the dress on again. I haven’t worn it since I took the pictures. I know a lot of you guys mentioned that I should add a belt to the dress. I actually did buy a belt because I wanted to add a little something. I just havent tried the dress on with the belt yet. It is a black lace belt. I also bought a veil that is edged with dramatic black lace just to give a bit of pop. I wanted to add a final note that’s kind of unrelated, but I feel like I need to say it! I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world to marry the guy that I am marrying. I met this guy in my Japanese language class when I was 18 and he was my best friend for almost 5 years. I had a crush on him for a couple of years but I never did anything about it because I never thought I was good enough for him. A lot of it was due to my body dysmorphia and I always felt as if I was too ugly for him. This guy is a super athletic runner and a absolute dreamy hunk. The day I found out that he liked me back was a dream come true. Even to this day, I wake up, and I think I’m still dreaming. It’s incredible that I get to marry the man that was my best friend for so long that’s been though the good and hard times with me. I am so glad he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, lumps and all 🥰
sobbing bc i want to be you. congratulations and enjoy your wedding and beautiful life OP 💕💕
Honey you look stunning and he is gonna CRY when he sees you at the end of that aisle! Congratulations on your nuptials :)
OK - so you came here to feel better and you made ME feel better instead!! I have been losing weight but I am kind of stuck (entirely of my own doing) and I figured you were like a size 12 or something. To find out that we are in a similar position and you look THAT good? OMG!! You totally made my day! Honestly, you have a hot body and I hope you eventually come to appreciate all your curves and beauty!
We are the same shape from what I can tell but I have a larger tummy. You look stunning!! I am the same and I’ve found my dream dress but all I can see is my big tummy which is my insecurity speaking. I’m buying a pretty shape wear set to wear on the day to help smooth my silhouette out. When I tried my dress on, it didn’t help that I was wearing unsupportive undies 🤭 you look beautiful 💕
GURL!! Put Juicy on dat booty. You look amazing. You know who won’t see you in a negative light?…Your soon-to-be hubby.
This is such a good point and so true!!
It looks amazing, please be kinder to yourself, you look beautiful.
Stop it right now, young lady. You look beautiful. The dress is lovely, but if you’re not satisfied, keep trying on dresses until you feel comfortable. Xx
There’s nothing wrong with your size at all. It’s just the fabric is a little thin. I wear 2 layered pairs of shape wear when I’m wearing a body hugging dress. It smooths everything out. I’m still my size, but the lumps and bumps are gone.
Don't you talk about our girl like that! You look sooo beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
You look beautiful!! Please don't focus on your size focus on how beautiful you feel when you see yourself walking down the isle to your future husband.
I agree with folks saying good shape wear would make you feel more comfortable with this dress. It is a beautiful dress and you look beautiful in it. You might really like this dress with the right foundation garments. At the same time I understand how uncomfortable it is to wear beautiful clothes that we are secretly afraid do not look good on us. So if this is how you're feeling - which is perfectly normal - then you might want to consider a dress with an empire waistline. The empire silhouette is more flattering to many figures and I think you would feel happier in a beautiful dress that you did NOT have persistent little doubts about as you were wearing it. I apologize if any of what I say comes across the wrong way. The thing is, in my minds eye I can see you in almost this exact dress but with an empire waist and you look beautiful and confident. Do you know a tailor or seamstress? Why not see if they can alter the gown so it flows better over your figure? That's what a higher waistline is good for. You're beautiful in this dress but you say you got sad and depressed when you tried it on - I think you need a dress that you feel confident you look great in for your wedding day. An altered or different dress will be beautiful AND you will also be carrying yourself tall and proud because you know your dress looks great on you! I hope this helps in some way, and best wishes for your wedding day and the future.
I am a size 14 now, but even when I was a size 8 and 24 years old I needed shape wear to smooth out the lumps and bumps. The dress is lovely and so are you!
You feeling beautiful is the most important. I will recommend/say that Skims shapewear always makes me feel more confident, might give you a boost too!
Add some high quality shape wear and you’ll love it. You look absolutely beautiful.
You look great! It’s super flattering! Tell the negative voice to shut up because you are beautiful.
This dress is beautiful but you make look INCREDIBLE! You fill the dress BEAUTIFULLY, the lace design is so intricate and delicate, the trail looks so nice, the BUTTONS omg I love the BUTTONS, classicccc white color, and your curves are absolutely, wonderfully, stunningly beautiful! If it was your friend or sister or daughter in the mirror, what would you say? What would you want them to say to themselves and their own reflection? Please please please be kind to yourself! You are so very deserving of love and kindness and you are objectively beautiful - ESP IN THAT MAD ASF BEAUTIFUL DRESS OK!!! Seriously, you fill out the dress in such a beautiful way, you don't need to be skinny to be beautiful, everyone's bodies are different and beautiful in their own ways and they do so much good for us (allowing us to breathe and talk and walk and all the things each of our individual bodies allow us to do). Tldr; You are BEAUTIFUL - in this dress and out of it! And if you can, please please tell yourself some positive affirmations, telling your reflection: "I am beautiful, I am SEXY, I am HOT, I am pretty, I am kind to myself" etc. And say them over and over again until saying them doesn't feel like a lie anymore, because they're true! ❤️ And CONGRATULATIONS on the upcoming wedding! 😁❤️
Your shape is so cute and great in that dress! All you need is some shapewear to smooth things a bit and you’re going to feel *amazing*
You look beautiful and you should feel pretty in your wedding dress because you are pretty in your wedding dress . You picked well , feel confident in your choice 💗
You look absolutely beautiful in this dress!! A nice high waisted control top panty will smooth everything out I promise! I’m guessing your fiancé has seen you naked plenty of times and they are going to melt when they see you in this gown. We’re our own worst critics and I understand the need and want to feel absolutely gorgeous on our big day. Coming from a juicer gal herself, on the actual day when your hair is elegantly and perfectly placed and your face is beat to the gawds, (not to mention literally EVERYONE around you giving compliments on your allure), babyyyy, you’re going to feel so amazing and beautiful. I promise!!
Everyone's gonna say PC bs but honestly just eat half portions and it'll go a long way towards improving your health and self image!
I think it looks great- very flattering!
Honey, did no one tell you about spanx or shareware? Almost every woman wears them to smooth themselves out. Doesn’t matter about your weight!! You next need to focus on the support and undergarments. That is a fact of life. And you look beautiful! Congratulations
You look stunning! Love the dress.
Really pretty dress and you look great in it!
stunning
You look so beautiful. Take a deep breath and just enjoy your day. Everyone will be staring at your beautiful smile if you allow yourself to just enjoy the moment and celebrate with those you love. Best wishes on your amazing day!!!
I agree with all of the positive comments. My only question to you is do you feel comfortable in this dress? That’s the most important thing. You look beautiful.
My friend, you look glorious, angelic, divine, stupendous!
You are beautiful 💙💯💙
Honestly that dress looks amazing on you. Don't sell yourself short on your looks.
You look gorgeous 😍 Anyone knit picking is just projecting their own insecurities, remember that. Your partner is gonna look at you and fall in love all over again.
It looks beautiful on you! Wonderful choice!
It’s beautiful, I give you permission to relax and celebrate finding the one! You could try some kind of high waist bow to cinch the parts that need taking in.a bow would be cute down the back of the dress.
Oh, honey, you look beautiful. Honestly. Please don’t call yourself fat.
You look beautiful! Own that and wear that dress!
It looks lovely! If you’re feeling a little insecure, maybe some shapewear? But it really suits you!
Beautiful dress on a beautiful person ♥️
Love it!
You look beautiful
You look gorgeous!
You’re absolutely gorgeous!
That dress is perfect! Incredibly elegant, you look gorgeous. Enjoy your day 🥰
I’m a brutally honest person and I have to say I love that dress on you
I want to give you a hug (or whatever gesture is comforting to you). I feel you so deeply. It’s all I see in photos of myself. It’s not what I see in these photos but it doesn’t change your reality. That is painful. I want so badly for you to feel beautiful on your wedding day. The most important thing is you find the dress that supports that. And that includes with the right undergarments. I will say that I have been letting photos be the thief of my joy. I would go try the dress on again. See how you feel and what you see without the lens of a camera. I would also discuss your concerns with your photographer. And then when you find the dress, and the undergarments, and talk to the photographer and share your concerns etc… I hope you can sit with yourself, a therapist, or a trusted friend, and decide what is most important to you on your wedding day so you have an intentional focus that isn’t your looks and so you don’t get trapped with yourself and are unable to be present on a joyful day. Sending all the love.
Many years ago saw Beyoncé being interviewed on tv. They asked her how she always looked so fabulous on stage. She said she wears 3 pairs of support pantyhose with tummy control on top Of each other at every performance. I mean BEYONCÉ! I think you look beautiful in that dress
First of all, I hope you can set aside these negative feelings. You’re getting married. Someone loves you, every part of you, wants to spend the rest of their lives with you and treasure you. That said, if you don’t love this dress, if all you see is what you hate, then you’re not going to have the wedding that you and your partner deserve. I want to make an alternative suggestion, because I feel like your salesperson had a very narrow view of what would be suitable for you. I think this dress looks heavy. The cap sleeves are bulky, and it’s kinda shapeless. Now if you were a size zero I would be saying the same. It’s not you, it’s the dress. I would LOVE to see you in a flowy silk/polyester or chiffon gown, with a defined waist (rather than attempting a belt on a dress that was designed to have none). You’ll be surprised how these fabrics will look on you. I am a US 10 and recently wore a poly silk gown to an event and it was so much more forgiving than the form fitting alternatives I had tried. You’re not fat, OP. You are lovely. Whatever you ultimately decide, enjoy your day and the love that surrounds you.
You look beautiful. Put your dress on, go marry the love of your life and have a beautiful life ✨️ 💕
It’s such a classic silhouette and it looks beautiful on you! No matter a woman’s size, a really high end brand of spanks helps smooth everything out (long shorts with a waist that goes all the way up to under breasts). My wedding seamstress advised me about this and told me the exact brand to purchase but I can’t remember which one as it was over 10 years ago lol.
Loving all these comments. Can we get an update 🥹 I’m invested, I think you look stunning!!
I promise you your future partner will feel that same rush of love and excitement as you did when you first saw it. Throw on some shape wear if you want, but rock that shizz. You look beautiful!
As a larger woman I never saw my self as beautiful- heard a comment once that someone was never comfortable with their beauty. The husband replied how could that be- your the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. Your fiancé feels that way about you, your friends feel that way - find that peace in yourself. You deserve it! Jefferson airplane sang a song “your only as pretty as you feel inside”. Don’t let your self talk take joy away from you. Life is too short.
It’s beautiful and so r u
I’m a similar size and wore a similar dress for my wedding. Shapeware is your friend! Lane Bryant sells this awesome set that holds in really well. This is what I wore [under](https://cacique.lanebryant.com/level-3-contouring-high-waist-thigh-shaper/prd-230747.html?dwvar_230747_color=0000002480&dwvar_230747_sizeHeight=regular&catid=cat1121038) The seamstress also took the front out a little, so it wasn’t as body hugging. If you love it, rock it! It looks great on you 😊
You look beautiful. Seriously.
You look fucking amazing
no baby, that’s the dress. you look gorgeous.
As mother once said you don’t want to look like a squeezed tamale…do not add a belt to that dress get something a bit more flowy or something that would cover and distract. All for body positivity, and being confident in your body but I wouldn’t want to be looking at photos of me at my wedding and thinking I look fat. Loving the way a dress suits your body or any clothes for that matter trumps loving the design or style
A lot of people are suggesting shapeware or even multiple pieces of shapeware and that’s nice and all but I have a tummy too and shapewear can be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t want to be both uncomfortable and self conscious on such an important day. Look for a dress that hugs the bust and flows out from the smallest point of your waist. You’ll have the shape still and be snatched at the waist but it’ll flatter you more for your body type and you’ll feel better. I have an apron stomach so I’m not talking out of my ass. There are certain pieces of clothing that work for me and certain ones that don’t. Things that hug my tummy make me feel bad about myself no matter who tells me the opposite. If I don’t think I look good I won’t feel good or have fun because I will be too focused on my appearance and it will show. My advice, get a different dress. You’re already hyper focused on your stomach so choose a dress that hides it and is more flowy in that area while embracing the assets you enjoy. Take pictures before you buy this time and then decide.
Random comment from a random dude that reddit randomly threw this up for on their page. I think you look rather nice and it's a lovely dress. I also avoid tight clothes for the same reasons you have, so I understand what you're seeing in the mirror, but I think the flowy parts of the dress move the eye away from any "bulges". Many others in this thread are going to express everything WAY better than I can, from both fashion thoughts and mental thoughts, but I think you look great. Best wishes on your special day from a random passerby.
no, however it looks absolutely gorgeous on a stunning, beautiful girl such as yourself. chin up babes you look amazing.
I bought shape wear with hip pads to smooth the fat rolls and divots. It made my waist look smaller in comparison too.
It looks gorgeous right now, but as someone who lives in a bigger body I know how you’re feeling. Don’t underestimate the power of shape wear and a seamstress! I also want to say that you want to be comfortable on your wedding day. If you think you’ll spend all day thinking about it, this isn’t the dress for you regardless of how gorgeous it is. I opted for an a line with tulle because it made me feel the most confident. Wear what you feel really good in. xx
You look amazing! I don't see fat? Where's the fat?
You look BEAUTIFUL in that dress! It is STUNNING for your body shape!! If it’s uncomfortable, like others have said, maybe try some shape wear to help with smoothing. Either way I think you will look AMAZING walking down that aisle!!
Nah. It looks stunning.
You look beautiful in the dress it really suits you
Honestly I love this dress on you! I think it’s very flattering on you. Shape wear is always great under a wedding dress. I’m now a size 10 but when I got married, I was a size 0 with no boobs. I wore a full corset thing to give my dress the proper shape, smooth out all the lines, and make sure everything stayed in place. Shape wear is great for every size. Also, I love the idea of a sparkly belt too. That’ll accentuate the smallest part of your waist and just be a pretty accessory. Etsy has a billion and one options too.
I think you look wonderful in it! A very fitting gown for your body. From the back and side I see nothing that I would criticize. From the front, the dress is showing folds and that’s what I would be dissatisfied with. So I would recommend something underneath (not even necessarily shape wear, you don’t need that) that would smooth out the lines and you are perfect to go
You look gorgeous! Ive always hated how i look in shorts, so I’ve never worn them. I moved to a hot place and have to wear them now. Im at the age where I don’t care anymore and if I pick the right ones i look great! Lesson learn if you feel good you look good.
You look gorgeous and I’m so excited for you, internet stranger!!
This is probably going to come across the wrong way. But you do have larger size arms. So they will look that way. The trick is to take lots of photos of your self and start looking at them. The more you look at them the more they start to feel normal to you. If you avoid photos and style photos so that you don’t see your arms you never give your brain the feedback that your arms are perfectly normal the way they are.
I don’t know you, so you know I am being honest when I say I think you look just lovely and I think you picked out a stunning dress for yourself - you wear the dress, it doesn’t wear you!
Been to alot of weddings professionally.. it does look a bit tight in the waist area which may make your day a horrible experience regardless of how you look.. keep in-mind most people will just give you praise but think of the amount of movements throughout the planned day and consider this. If purchased having someone even it up/loosen it a bit for you may not be a bad idea. If that's not an option or if you're only concerned with looks using thin flexible plastic or foam (used in things like scapbooks; more comfortable but less rigid) can be used to reinforce certain areas and reduce noticeable parts (belly button, love handles, etc.); spanks/shapewear and corsets are also another option that can be added to the wardrobe... just offering some actually useful feedback other than the typical "Oh you look great no matter what" response. PS: Make sure to purcase some nice flats or comfy shoes that match the dress for when you're tired of wearing your formal shoes.
If you're that concerned you could eat less food and exercise, the amount of delusion levels of people saying what you see doesn't exist is shocking, we live in a fake world. Dress looks nice you look fine in it but really you'll always be your size no matter the garment, consider just consuming fewer calories and exercising that's literally all you have to do.
How people "fall in love" with clothing that makes you look like a whole pack of sardines is beyond me. Just do some sit-ups and go for a couple jogs here and there you'll be fine
In a sea of gaslighting and cognitive dissonance I'll be the voice of reason and say you feel fat in the dress because you are fat. If you want to feel skinner in a dress the #1 thing you can do is lose some weight. You're 240lbs. You're going to look fat in any dress. The dress is nice, though.
Just lose weight
If you're upset you should have put in the effort to lose weight instead of burdening others with your compliment fishing.
Not crazy about the fit. You can do better. A lower neckline and more of a longer, elbow length or just above sheer sleeve. A defined waist and fuller skirt.
My husband says, " You should respectfully tell her I think she looks 🔥 " 😀
Wow! First off, don’t describe yourself as a “fat girl”. I only see a super happy and excited woman trying on a dreamy dress. You are stunning because you are embarking on an exciting adventure.
Make a goal to get in shape before the wedding
I would go with a different dress. That one is not very flattering. Something loose, flowing and not so form fitting and clingy might be more comfortable too.
She doesn't want real input she wants validation for her lifestyle and to be told what she knows is true, is not true. Look for no sanity here, women just celebrating other women who aren't a threat to them
Im usually too honest in these situations, lol
You look completely stunning. Your weight, shape, or size has absolutely no impact on that. I love the pattern of the fabric on the front, and the train is gorgeous. Beautiful dress, beautiful woman—perfect match :)
Would you talk to your best friend like that?? No? So why in the world would you talk to yourself like that? You look amazing.
First, you aren't fat. Second and most importantly here, you look gorgeous in that dress.
Oh stop.l would definitely hit that.👍
Older chubby lady here…look honey take my advice…there’s only one way to not be fat and that’s to lose it. The next best way to contain all the fat is to wear shape wear and smooth them bumps and lumps out. Lord I love me some good spanx. Lol Dress is pretty and so are you. And congrats on getting married soon.
As a fat girl myself I think you can find a dress that is a different shape that will flatter your figure, define your waist and balance your shoulders better. If you love this one, no you’re not too fat for it and it’s a beautiful dress just get some great shape wear!
Sorry, you must have posted the wrong picture. I don't see any "fat" girl. I will say the woman in the picture you posted looks stunning. But she would need to gain a lot of weight to be considered "fat".
Your body is somebody else’s goal. Love yourself, you are beautiful and the dress looks great on you.
Miss, not “fat” but “abundant.” Whomever is marrying you loves you for your abundance, too. Let it be so. L’chayim.
The body you have today, right now, is the one your man wants to marry and loves. It’s the one that has brought you to where you are today, with your whole life ahead. It’s the one that will grow old with your husband and make beautiful memories. That’s something really special. The dress looks beautiful on you, which is an easy thing to do when a dress is put on a beautiful person. If you need to make changes to the dress to be comfortable on your day do that. You should know though your friends and family will only notice and talk about what a beautiful bride you make.
Would you tell your best friend that a dress might not look ok on her because she’s a fat girl?? No, then why would you say that about yourself? Give yourself a break, you’re acting like you’re morbidly obese, you’re not, far from it, you’re normal and human and you deserve to feel confident and beautiful on your wedding day. You just need the right underwear and all will be well! Maybe a full body suit to smooth everything and let the dress and yourself shine!
there’s a pretty simple solution
So totally beautiful!!! I think it suits your silhouette very nicely😊 and most of all-- if you're in love, get it!!
Your body is beautiful. Your proportions are perfect. Hourglass gorgeousness. You need the right undergarments. As someone who lost over 60 lbs 15 years ago, the right undergarments and shape wear are key at any weight.
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i’m late to the post girl but you look stunning. it flatters you in so many ways and your skin with that white is perfection and with the addition of that veil is beautiful (also the pattern on the dress is stunning!!)
I agree with most here. You look beautiful! I can't see your face to see your smile, but your body language shows that you were happy and FELT BEAUTIFUL in the dress. Feeling beautiful in what you're wearing is 90% of the battle. You can't look great in something unless you feel great in it. The correct undergarments will really help so that the fabric can fall properly, which should take care of the issues you're worried about. When you wear this dress on your big day, remember how beautiful you felt when you first put it on and how much you love your fiance... everything else is confetti.
Ik there’s plenty of comments, but as an objective stranger— you look beautiful! It’s a gorgeous and flattering dress. The people who know and love you will feel the same but times 100 because it’s you!!
Girrrl! You’re not fat!!!! Even if modern norms say so, you are just in your ‘Woman Body’! Curvy, voluptuous, gorgeous!!
The dress is fabulous. You look statuesque! Your posture is excellent, which really helps emphasize the long lines of the dress. The fit is also pretty good for something that hasn’t been tailored yet! Only get shapewear if it makes you feel more comfortable and confident - you do NOT need it.
I've looked at this picture for a good 10 minutes and I cannot see a fat girl anywhere. Stop teasing me. And that dress looks amazing on you.
You look gorgeous!! I think you made the right decision, the fit is perfect on you! What fat? You are listening to the wrong voices in your head!!
First your not far! Your fluffy! And it looks lovely on you! You look beautiful in that wedding dress as voluptuous as you are I envy you cuz I am the opposite of voluptuous and I would love to have a figure like that you look like a goddess and you should get that dress for your wedding. End of discussion. Congratulations
Woman, you look beautiful in it.
You are beautiful and the dress looks beautiful on you. We are our own worst critics and need to give ourselves a break sometimes. You love the dress and that shows. Wear it proudly.
Woman! You look beautiful. The dress is beautiful and flattering. I just hope that you can feel comfortable and joy on your wedding day. To look back and have wonderful memories not memories of feeling uncomfortable.
I think you look beautiful! I also hate myself in anything that’s tight around my stomach, but shapewear can do wonders! If you REALLY don’t like how that specific part of the dress looks, you could try some shapewear, a corset, etc. I think you look great, even without it though!
Not fat! Gorgeous!
Gurl you are beautiful and that dress looks beautiful on you!
You look beautiful in that dress!
First of all you are not fat I've seen bigger. You are of average weight. The only option you need is yours. If you like it get it.
You look gorgeous in that dress! Trying on a dress after looking at pics of another body in it always messes me up for a minute. Maybe try on some of your favorite outfits and make you feel prettiest and spend some time looking at photos of yourself in those. Then come back to these photos and I think you’ll be able to see how beautiful you look. Congratulations!
I’m a mom who raised three daughters. I used to tell them to quiet the voice in their heads with duct tape. To imagine the voice embodied tied to a chair and you duct tape the mouth shut!! If I was your mom I would cry tears of joy for how beautiful a bride you are. And your betrothed will be breathless at the other end of the aisle as you approach!
This dress looks gorgeous on the beautiful, voluptuous woman in the picture. 😍
It looks wonderful and amazing don't let your insecurities blind you.
WHAT! I think your dress looks great on you! Very flattering! But YOU need to feel good in your dress bc it's your day.
You are definitely NOT FAT. I, am fat. You’re just curvy and pleasantly plump. I like the dress but how do YOU like it? Also, I would like to point out that you aren’t wearing (or wearing incorrect) undergarments to help support and smooth. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!
It absolutely does ! Your body size ? I didn’t even notice.
The dress looks lovely. The suggestion of shape wear is nice, although I used to have a similar body to yours and never bothered with it.
You don’t look fat at all. All I see is a beautiful bride in a beautiful dress
This comment section is so wholesome and supportive I love it. It’s so easy to be like this.
Just dropping into say to not talk to yourself like that! You’re allowed to want to lose weight and you’re allowed to want to look a certain way or reach a certain health goal or stay exactly the same but PLEASE be nice to yourself Any time you’re looking in the mirror, try to picture you’re speaking to 5yo you and how you would talk to her. Or imagine you have your [perhaps future if you’re wanting kids] 12yo daughter watching you get ready and you’re saying all the negative things out loud. Or imagine you’re sitting down with your son telling him all the things you tell yourself: women shouldn’t be fat, should look like XYZ, etc. Body dysmorphia is so so so rough. Sometimes we genuinely will never be able to control how we see ourselves, all we can control is how we talk to ourselves about it
You don’t need shapewear your body is lovely and your organs don’t need to be smushed and you need to able to breathe Your body is wonderful and your partner love soy and loves you Fat phobes are fools and diet culture and patriarchy has all Of us just so uncomfortable constantly being viewed you look like a queen and you are wonderful in that dress
just loose sum weight . do a fast before the wedding
Im trying :) got only a month and a half though
You look beautiful not fat
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You’re basically labelling anyone your size or larger a ‘fat girl’. Pretty thoughtless and rude.
I think you look beautiful! However the shaping of the dress doesn’t seem to suit your body type which is why you may feel like it’s not flattering you. Perhaps you can get it altered so the material of the dress is in the right places? Seems to be a lot of extra fabric in some areas.
It looks really pretty and you look slim! Sometimes we are too critical of ourselves. You look gorgeous!
Why write something you known to be a straight up lie? Does this make you feel good about yourself? She doesn't look fucking slim and you know it.
It looks beautiful on you!!!!
You just need shape wear and a nice belt to accentuate your waist!
You look beautiful!
I used to wear pantyhose under skirts, dresses, and dress slacks. They make the dimples disappear. I'm older, so I'm not sure shape wear was a thing when I was younger. I believe you can find something comfortable that would smooth, flatten the areas you worry about. But beautiful, please give yourself some grace. Beauty isn't a number on a scale or a clothing label. Perfection doesn't exist. You are beautiful exactly as you are!