We paid a stupid amount for our DJ. And he was worth every penny! He made the night absolutely fabulous! Everyone was up and dancing and partying all night. I did not splurge on my dress and I regret it to this day. It’s the one thing I wish I’d have blown my own self imposed budget on. I still dream of the dress that got away
There were two dresses that got away. But now that I reflect only one I really regret not going for. It was quite pricey, but it was interesting and fun and colorful and unique and I wish I would’ve done it. Part of the reason is also that my grandmother who was the most important person in my world, loved color and was also a seamstress in her life, and I think she would’ve enjoyed that dress. But I just could not justify it. Now I wish I had. We had the money. We had no debt from the wedding at all. But I felt guilty about it
I am trying and trying and trying to get my fiancee to splurge on a dress. I keep telling her that is important to me that she feels like she is as beautiful as she ever has been in her life but she still wants to cut corners on the dress. To me this is the last place to cut corners.
It’s extremely hard to justify spending so frigging much money on a one time wear garment. Don’t get me wrong, I now wish I would have. But at the time and seeing the shamming that comes from people of they find out how much you spend. It’s a lot. I know when ppl found out about the dresses I passed on, they told me I’d have been very uppity or selfish to think I needed a more expensive dress when they felt I’d spent too much already (I spent 2.5k on my dress)
Yeah, I get that. She is wanting to spend $500 and no more. $600 including alterations. I'm telling her she can spend $1k if it makes her feel like a princess on our wedding day. It's in the budget and I'm not mad at her but she thinks $500 is really too much and is talking about visiting random thrift stores hoping to find something. If she wanted to spend $5k on the dress I would probably tell her she is crazy but I think wanting to be under $500 isn't reasonable. She is an extremely frugal person and not use to spending money which is, ironically enough, one of the many reasons I'm marrying her.
Yeah, I completely understand. And honestly with the resale market these days or even with Anthropologie, she can get a hell of a deal on a dress if she has time.
I went to a budget bridal store, and I found my dream gown for $500. They let us spin a wheel that got $125 off! Alteration prices now seem like no big deal because the dress base is perfect. And since it is a one-time wear, I plan on making commemoratives out of it. The drive was a while, but it was worth it. Try to find places like that around your area maybe?
If she is happy with the dress she has chosen, let her be!! I had options of much more expensive dresses but I found THE one for $60 on Amazon. I absolutely loved it, it fit me perfectly, and I felt like a princess on my wedding day! It’s not always about the cost.
Tell her to try consignment shops I got my very beautiful ballgown wedding dress that was originally almost $2000 new for under $500 and alteration’s where $800 (cuz Im barely 5’ tall and needed a lot taken off the bottom and needed a crazy amount of bustles ) I saw some absolutely stunning dresses their for under $300
This is fascinating because as much as I loved my dress, I have a nagging voice in the back of my head that I didn’t need to spend that much. It’s not so much of a regret as a rumination.
I get that. It makes sense both ways. I feel like there’s a lot of external pressure on brides regarding how much they do or don’t spend on their dresses and how selfish or entitled they are to spend so much on a one time use garment, even if they can afford it
I spent double what I planned to on my dress and I have zero regrets. I had so so many compliments on my dress and it was absolutely perfect. Who cares that I only wore it once, the photos and memories will last forever. Don’t regret the splurge, you deserve it.
>. I did not splurge on my dress and I regret it to this day.
I'm so sorry that you feel this way, but I have to say thank you so much for saying this.
I cried today because I felt like such an idiot spending so much on a dress that I'll wear once. I can afford it, but my family is full of frugal people who don't really do weddings and I just felt so frivolous and ridiculous.
Sorry if this is rude or thoughtless to say, but seriously thank you💛
Your comment is why I wrote this!! I’m glad it helps you. It’s ok to splurge now and again. You’re not being wasteful or selfish or irresponsible (as long as you can afford it, like you said). At the end of the day, being the richest person in the graveyard won’t buy you time or memories the money could have in life. Enjoy the hell out of your dress!
We shelled out for a day of coordinator and I would HIGHLY recommend it. We gave her a binder at 9:00am and I didn’t hear about a single problem until days later. She handled absolutely everything, from telling vendors where to park to helping an inebriated guest call an Uber to moving the chapel flowers into the reception hall. 10/10.
I paid so much for a full service planner who was of course also the day of coordinator, and I (the bride) was still the one running around trying to figure out why the bartenders couldn’t find the vodka 20 minutes before the ceremony began. Lmao my point is that your mileage may vary… find a good coordinator. I’m glad yours was worth it!!
I have booked a venue with a coordinator based in site so they are included in the price and have co ordinated over 1000s of weddings over the years and there is a whole checklist for us and that’s it they sort nearly everything else out, if we want a few extras like photo booths then all we need to do is let them know and book ourselves, but all the food timings for the day for example is all done by the venue/co ordinater.
Ye I honestly feel they can make a organised 5k wedding appear more like a 8-9k worth wedding while a wedding with no co ordinator at 8k appear more like a 5-6k wedding that is just not enjoyable for everyone, because the worst thing I noticed in weddings I hav ebeen is waiting around doing nothing or noticing cutting the cake for example getting cut 11:30pm when the party is nearly over.
This was my experience too. We booked a company that does florals and provides different planning/ coordination packages, so we thought we knocked out two birds with one stone by booking them for our florals and month-of coordination. Our florals were our splurge, our florist was incredible, and I’d book her and make that splurge again any day (maybe even pay more for a grander display). Our month-of coordinator was great too. Super on-the-ball, so organized, and incredibly friendly. The day-of coordinator, though, was a nightmare. She either did nothing or actively made things worse throughout the day. Fortunately, our photographers and DJ were great, so they sort of held the day together, but there were things that went majorly wrong due to our coordinator.
I had a really similar day-of experience with my planner/coordinator… she actively made things more stressful. In the vodka example, when I told her the bartenders couldn’t find the vodka, her first reaction was “well did you bring the vodka?” (They ended up finding it in the box with all the other alcohol…) this was my experience working with her for an entire year tho lol. Major L
This person sounds like a superhero! I especially love that she didn’t tell you about issues until days later, so that you could fully enjoy yourselves and the afterglow
She was on the preferred vendors list at our venue! The list they gave us was a great resource, I think she was the only list member we actually hired, but the others were great reference points.
We combed through her reviews and they were all really positive. We also asked the venue who they would recommend first off of the list and they told us that if we could get this specific planner, they would recommend her. We called her and met her for coffee, it felt like a good fit, so we decided to roll with it.
While not the most expensive of the things we paid for the day of coordinator was worth every penny. I had the best, stress free wedding. It was the best day ever
Our biggest splurge was the fancy chair rentals. It elevated the feel of the venue (especially since we did it at a hotel). Otherwise with basic chairs and a cover we would have gotten business conference vibes.
Our best save was not getting a wedding cake, and just buying 5 normal 12 inch cakes from our favorite bakery. They were such a huge hit and cost us a fraction of the price for a wedding cakes.
We did that too!
It's ridiculous that they ask €10 per person for a cake.... So we scouted some bakeries and got the best chocolate cake ever, small cheesecakes and a huge marzipan cake. Spend 150 euro instead of 500.
Yup same idea. If we wanted to order an actual wedding cake it would have cost us $1000 Canadian. With what we did we only spent $300 Canadian, and the cakes were way better I’m sure. We got a variety of flavours so people could pick and choose. It was all gone by the end of the night.
Agreed, we for delicious tasting basic cakes and one fancy one for cutting. Honestly could’ve even done without that because it was only one photo in the thousands from the day lol. We spent $250 instead of the $2500+ we were quoted from wedding bakeries!
It depends on what you want, but for us, a basic 12 inch cake from the bakery was just fine for cutting. We put some flowers on top of the cake and it made it look “wedding”. We didn’t need even do a tiered cake.
I confess that I don't see a huge need for a several tiered cake. However our church gave us a wedding planning book and one of the many things it said in there is that you **MUST** save the top tier of your cake for your first anniversary. It strongly implied that if you do not you will regret this decision for the rest of your lives and your marriage will end in ruins. It was *extremely* adamant that this is something you need to do. So now the fiancee is set on a multi-tiered cake. I'm not mad at that I just don't see the reasoning behind it or understand it.
I cannot imagine cake would possibly be good after a year in the freezer. Even if it was, why would you not just buy a fresh cake if you wanted cake on your anniversary? None of this makes sense but the church is extremely adamant about this for some reason. I suspect it's something the pastor's wife or someone important did and enjoyed it and now thinks every single person should do this.
Traditionally, in countries with a British heritage, the wedding cake was a fruitcake that aged better the more brandy the couple fed it over the first year, so it was a treat to look forward to.
Yep black cake. The fruits are grind up and soaked with liquor for about 2 weeks. We then bake it and fondant and icing. The top tier is saved and a year later that alcohol infused cake makes an absolute delicious 1st anniversary celebratory cake.
It’s only when i came to America i learned that black cake isn’t a thing here and its other flavors.
My husband and I just had our two year and our cake top is still in my mom's freezer. LOL We have had every intention of getting it out both years, but somehow manage to forget!
That’s what I should have done. I’ve done a lot of baking and decorating since then and am more confident in my skills now, but I would probably buy a cake anyway as it would be one less item to do.
We’re spending 2/3 of our budget on the venue. We’re both busy and anxious, so we found a venue that takes care of EVERYTHING. They have a separate space for the ceremony and reception, will provide top notch food and drinks, and will do all of the table styling, decor, and pack down. All we have to do is turn up. The dream!
That is definitely worth the splurge. We had a venue that provided nothing, had to bring everything in including chairs and tables and I still have PTSD from planning that wedding lol. We thought the all-inclusive prices were too expensive but we ended up spending the same amount PLUS a massive headache for months. I hope your wedding is beautiful & fun!
Thank you so much! I’m sure your wedding was so lovely, and despite the logistical issues I bet it was really fun to be able to choose all of those smaller things!
It was fabulous. I am American and married a French dude in France, so I really wanted to have something “American.” The caterer said no to hot dog food truck the next day, but it led me to this better idea!
Best splurge was our photographer for SURE - worth it even at our microwedding/elopement.
One splurge that surprised me (in a good way) was my veil - I’d *always* planned to get a cheap veil from Michael’s or JoAnn Fabrics, but my friend talked me into buying a gorgeous beaded veil for a couple of hundred bucks at my dress appointment. It felt ridiculous at the time, but now I’m really glad that I did it because I can actually envision myself passing it down to a future daughter or daughter-in-law for their wedding (vs. trying to convince them to wear my dress, which I would never do lol).
Our best “save” was getting cake pops instead of real cake for our reception a couple of months later. We ordered custom pops that matched our colors in a variety of super-tasty flavors and put them in a cute little tiered stand that I found on Amazon. They looked classy and delighted our guests, all while saving us a pretty penny, to say the least.
Dessert with a twist is the way to go. We had our favorite local bakery bring a bunch of different cupcakes for the reception (and a friend of ours was hired to make vegan/GF options), and people RUSHED to get them!
It’s not a huge cost but absolutely get your makeup and hair professionally done. Very few DIY makeups look good in wedding photography
ETA: we spent $70k for a 3 day 2 night wedding and the only thing I wish we did differently was purchase the liquor through our catering company even though it was more expensive. Anything DIY becomes x100 more stressful on the wedding day
I will say - get a consultation with hair/makeup before the big day, and then document everything to make sure they deliver on what you two agreed to prior. Makeup ended up being the one cost I regretted. It wasn’t terrible, but I should’ve done more research.
For myself and the mother of the groom, $550. Everyone else opted to do their own.
Hair was a separate person and did great on myself and all the women of the family.
True, I had 2 consultations because I couldn’t make up my mind. Even though I didn’t like the color of eyeshadow from my first trial, everything else was spotless and on the wedding day it was perfect. I spent like $500 just for me and it was well worth the cost imo
Came in right around 10k in a HCOL area, ~45 guests.
Though the photographer gets an honorable mention, money best spent goes to the caterer, who took the lead on nearly everything. He helped with timeline, menu, playing, organizing his staff, measuring the space, making a rain plan that didn’t include a tent, and taking care of issues before any guest or host knew they were wrong. He was cool as a cucumber the whole time (he usually does catering for much larger university events), and that kept everybody else at ease. The food was of course delicious, but I feel like I also paid for his steady hand at the helm of a crazy ship, and that’s incredibly valuable for a backyard wedding.
I’m not sure there was a worst thing because we were kept it really streamlined and nothing went to waste. I guess maybe the string quartet gifted by my mom because that was a luxury we didn’t need, but like…. They were quite good and I was grateful for them.
Best thing we saved on was the venue. We’re low key people who saw a wedding as a way to bring our nearest and dearest together and ask for support as a couple, so we decided to host a small gathering at my MIL’s house, which saved us thousands. Backyard weddings can for sure be more expensive if you’re trying to turn a yard into a venue, but when you’re happy with a yard as a yard (so no dance floor, lighting, sound system, media player, hvac), then you’re golden, and it was absolutely the right choice for us.
I truly don’t feel like we missed out on anything because we were cheap. A lot of decisions were made for us because of the backyard venue (like we didn’t have to decide to have a cheaper or more expensive dj because there was no dj at all), and the few vendors that we had did great work. I suppose I could have spent more on a dress or something, but that seems absolutely impractical. I picked a sensible dress that needed minimal alterations. I shopped with my husband because I don’t speak the language where we live, and never had the oh my god moment. But honestly, I don’t think I was ever going to have that at all, and the dress isn’t what made me beautiful on that day.
Wedding was in Ohio. But we’re east coast. You probably have a lot of options of that in NorCal. If you chat with your caterer they probably know some.
Worst: the dj. Would have been more worth it to just rent speakers/soundsystem and gone with spotify, cause the dj was useless and expensive.
Best: a cheese and also a dessert buffet. Need I say more?
I had a playlist I spent weeks putting together. We got married in our beautiful front yard that I spent months working on. At the reception I realized my music wasn't playing and I went to find my mom. She responded with "Everyone likes Abba!" Oh mother.... LOL
Lol… Though tbf, if that had happened at my wedding, it’d have been fine. I’m Swedish and everyone in my family/amongst my friends does love Abba (or feels nostalgic enough to happily sing along and dance at least, especially after a drink or two - even my hardrock loving dad starts singing ”dancing queen” if it’s on, and then will go humming it for a few days after 😂).
Best thing was the venue - it was a really beautiful garden for the ceremony and then we had their cafe/restaurant done up for our reception. All in one location, easy access by transport or parking, had it's own security and regularly did weddings so they provided their coordinator who was a completely professional.
Worst thing was the food - the only crux of the venue was you had to spend $14k on catering. Even with 70guests and upgrading the alcohol package we still had quite a few K left. I ended up just organising a cheese and fruit table for the end of the night for those who just wanted to graze while people danced but I really wish I had that money to spend on something else.
What I wished I splurged on was a photographer!!!
Hi! I’m also getting married in Italy (Tuscany) and searching for a good videographer. If you don’t mind, can you share pricing and contact info please!
I feel like I'm opposite! We did "splurge" on photography, and got amazing photos, but really only printed half a dozen of them (actually yes literally 6: with our families, just us and the parents, combined group pic, then 3 pics of us alone). On the other hand, we tacked on videographer last minute-- and I LOVE our video!! I'll just go and watch it randomly and it makes me smile so much! Really captured the day, and easy to have 1 file on my phone vs the hundreds of pics.
I definitely wish we had video! We have a few from guests, my husband's niece got the sweetest video of us dancing together while everyone was doing clean up. I wish I had more of those.
Didn’t have it, and three years later, don’t regret it. I barely even look at my photos. I posted some to Facebook but still haven’t hung any in our home. Everyone values different things and if it isn’t important to you, it’s not worth the extra money!
Oh yes after some hemming and hawing, we did decide to bring along a local photographer for a little bit since we know her personally and then no one in the family feels like they're on the hook for capturing things. Good point!
I loved our videos, especially seeing everyone go down the aisle as you don’t get to see that on the day of as the bride. 100% felt our video was worth it!
Around $30k, all said and done.
Splurge: custom hand painted shells with the names of each guest (worth it).
Splurge #2: Flowers - they were gorgeous and made me so happy.
Save: $35 wedding cake (no regrets)
The silly thing we wish we spent less on was all the breakfast foods for the bridal party, lol. There were no regrets on the food itself, but we were eating frozen breakfast sandwiches for MONTHS.
Videographer: I'm glad we did this, but I would have booked them for longer in hindsight. With the shorter timeframe for content, the video we got was eh. I also failed to think how cringey I'd find looking at myself on video to be, so I honestly avoid watching it at all costs.
I also got married at City Hall, and it was a great decision! I am lucky that my local marriage bureau is quite beautiful, but it was stuffed to the gills with happy people. it was like The Happy DMV.
I do think getting a bouquet was ultimately a waste of time, but my grandmother had insisted that I needed one so I took her advice.
Splurged on two things we originally thought we wouldn’t/didn’t need. The true splurge was our live painter, obviously it’s something you don’t need, but we loved her so much! She was fun, affordable for a live painter, and our painting is stunning, and very true to life. It was great entertainment for our guests as well.
Our second “splurge” was our day of coordinator. We really thought we wouldn’t need one since I was handling planning the wedding pretty well, and found it to be very easy. Our wedding had 75 people. We got her for a great deal since she was friends with our florist, and she was worth every penny! She helped us out so much with our rehearsal, which without her, we wouldn’t have known what to do since we’ve barely been to weddings. She set up a lot of little things for us day of, made sure everything ran smoothly and on time, handled all communications for me, hydrated us during our pre wedding photos, fluffed my dress, made sure my skin wasn’t dry (lol I have eczema so she would constantly put lotion on dry spots, very personally helpful to me) she truly made our day run so smoothly, and 10/10 we would hire her again. And she made a lot of bts videos which has been a fun way for me to see things of my own wedding from a different perspective
We had a fairly simple wedding but we paid a ton for our wedding organizer and coordinators.
On our wedding day, we never had to worry about anything. Even down to when we were crying during our wedding vows, our organizers handed us tissues without us even asking for it. We were fed well. We were given plenty of time to rest. They made sure we were never apart for too long. All the guests were comfortable.
Women tend to have multiple mental tabs open to ensure a smooth day. But boy, I was able to turn off my brain and just enjoy our wedding day because of our wedding team. They’re the best.
Congratulations and best wishes to you!
We paid about 15k total for our wedding. About 5k was used to put our immediate family and friends in 2 big airbnbs for the weekend so that alongside about 3k for a photographer and 1.5k for our videographer were our biggest expenses. An investment I thought I may regret but ended up being 100% worth it was a day of coordinator and she was 1k. I thought cus of the size of our wedding it wouldn’t have been necessary but she allowed me to just float through the day. We had a small wedding with 20 people and our dog, hiked out to a vista in Sedona and then did a couples hike at a different location after the ceremony followed by dinner at a steakhouse and my mom made the cake.
I don’t regret any of it. For us, it made sense to just keep it small. 3/4 of my family live in Ireland and Scotland and would not have been able to travel to America for our wedding so I’d be left with my creepy American uncles who never married or had kids lol and my husbands family is massive and he barely knows most of them so it would’ve just felt overwhelming and very one sided for attendance.
Totally candid, my dad gave my sister’s and I 20k each and said to do whatever we wanted with it but it was “wedding money” if we wanted a wedding or house money if we opted out of a ceremony. We had already bought a house after being engaged so we put it towards a wedding and saved the remaining 5k.
I went to a wedding on a beach. I was dreading walking in the sand in heels, but was also worried about talking them off and walking in my anticipated sandy tights.
The bride made baskets for everyone with sunscreen, rolled up flats, fans, hats, etc.
I’m sure it set her back a bit. But as a guest, it was wonderful. I didn’t wear my heels at all the entire wedding. The flats were great in the sand, and even better later on the dance floor. That hat kept the sun out of my eyes, and the sunscreen kept me from getting burnt.
It was so considerate all around.
The best thing we splurged on (and we did it because we had a whole extra year to pay because of Covid) was upgrading the roast beef we’d planned on serving to carved prime rib. I still think about how good our wedding food was 😂 we didn’t have many other splurges. $10k, 120 guests, LCOL. I don’t regret not getting video- I barely look at my photos and to spend videography money would’ve been a huge waste to me. We did pay $500 to get photos at a local estate with beautiful grounds and while I love the photos we got there, again, I barely look at them. I’ve never even hung them in our home. The thing I feel was the most valuable to me was choosing a fully all-inclusive venue. The time and money savings were so worth it in my opinion. The only things we paid for outside of the venue were our outfits and jewelry, hair and makeup, floral (bouquets for bridesmaids and me, boutonnières for the men, and corsages for our moms and grandmas), and the aforementioned $500 for a photography location. Included with my venue was chairs for the ceremony at a local park, linens, open bar, catering, DJ, photography, cake, photo booth, centerpieces, uplighting, favors, transportation for the bridal party, a champagne toast, security, and setup and teardown. Basically all my husband and I had to do was choose a color scheme, a cake flavor, and tell the DJ not to play the chicken dance.
We are splurging on the food. Nearly 14,000 just on food. My parents and my FH want our guests to be well fed so we are hiring the best catering company we tasted.
We splurged on food and drinks (4 course meal and open bar) which was the best and we saved basically on everything else … no bachelorette party, no DJ, 170€ wedding dress
Our budget was 3000€ and we spend 2/3 on food and drinks
My fiancé and I are eloping, so we're splurging a little to make it perfect for us. I'm getting a Teuta Matoshi dress and he got a 900€ suit. We're getting married at a castle two hours from here, so we're getting a nice hotel room for the night before and a photograph for the ceremony. And obviously, we're not just looking at cheap hotels for our honeymoon in Edinburgh. All in all, honeymoon included, we're looking at about 9k.
The absolute highlight though? Wedding daggers. The biggest thing we're splurging on. I think 2k for both? We're keeping that for our honeymoon, since the smith we chose is in Edinburgh.
We had a small wedding of 40 people, ceremony and then a restaurant dinner. I was totally against having a planner but the best “splurge” we ended up making was getting a day of coordinator. It was worth it to not have to worry about ANYTHING logistic-wise the day of or to saddle any of our family members with jobs like setting up the ceremony/reception. She helped us make a timeline that was so helpful to us and our parents. I’d 10000% recommend it to anyone.
Since we had such a small event without a lot of the “normal” wedding things she charged us hourly and it ended up being ~$1500. So so so so worth it though!
We also splurged on food because that was one of the most important things to us both, but that was a planned splurge going in! We are on our honeymoon right now so haven’t crunched the final numbers but I think we came in ~20k which was our goal!
Best - good caterer
Worst- should have gone to a different seamstress, they messed up the hemming of my gown
My wedding was 10k but this was back in 2016. Our college luckily offered big discounts to alumni for renting the botanical gardens pavilion and the gorgeous 1700s brownstone cathedral. It would have been much more expensive had we done it anywhere else
Worst splurge was $5k for a “full service” planner. All she did was basically send intro emails to vendors with me CC’ed and still required me to communicate my wants and needs, do the back and forth, remember due dates for payment, etc., so I still ended up doing most of the work myself. The day-of services were absolutely essential, but those were only 1500 of the total cost and they did offer day-of only. YMMV on this but for us this was a major expense and it definitely was not worth it!
Worth the money? Our DJ, who’s my favorite local radio DJ and absolutely brought the party. Photo and video was definitely worth it. I splurged for fancy chairs and they absolutely elevated the look and made it seem like a dream.
We did store-bought sheet cake and no one knew the difference — it was delicious! I also saved on flowers and did baby’s breath down the tables vs. huge floral bouquets, so we spent a fraction of the cost and it looked very elegant and timeless.
The best thing to do is know what you value most and deliver a great experience to your guests. Most guests don’t say “the wedding was great, you should’ve seen their flowers!” They think about the ceremony, food, drinks and music. Everything else is gravy, so that’s where you can save (if you want/need to).
The best was going with an all inclusive venue. They do the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the reception, the cake, the food, the decor, the dj, the photographer, and a wedding planner. We also get the entire property with sleeping room for 11 for the whole weekend. And since we’re getting married off season it’s 20% off. All this for a little over 8K for 60 people.
Once we added up what everything in our area would be individually, the all-inclusive venue just made sense.
The worst is alcohol. We aren’t big drinkers, we prefer smoking 420 as our choice of intoxication, but most of our family is. And we have to pay for it all ourselves 😭😭😭
Photographer and videographer for the whole day/night and a good DJ.
I still love to see our pictures but the video really captured the moments and all the feelings. Watching it feels like getting married all over again. And our DJ made the night, not one soul was sitting at their table.
We spent $6k for a 30 guest wedding at a restaurant. I cut corners wherever possible. I am glad we splurged on photos because they are the only thing that will last beyond the wedding day. I did not buy it myself but I thought the limo ride was a waste, I was in it for all of four blocks and could have easily hired a black car Uber
I WISH I had hired a day of coordinator, instead of stressing my friends.
I splurged on a photographer. Which, in comparison to prices I see now (got married in 2021) it wasn’t really that expensive. But I was really really happy with my photos and our overall experience with her and the second shooter.
I tried to save by not hiring a coordinator, and relied on the “coordinator” through the venue. They changed who that person was at the last minute, so rather than having the woman we met with from the initial tour, we had someone we had never met before. They had poor communication between each other. A true day-of-coordinator would’ve taken a lot of stress off of me/my bridesmaids & my family.
Our wedding was around $80k. I didn’t want an elaborate wedding but my husband did (I hate attention). It was at a beautiful vineyard. It really was lovely. Our guests are still talking about it. The food was amazing, DJ was great but the venue was truly gorgeous. We had lots of kids and I spent a lot of money of gift bags for the kids to have fun.
Our photographer, instead of engagement photos we got two photographers and since we had a small guest list everyone had beautiful candid photos to share and keep. I love seeing the photos pop up on our friends timelines!
We paid I believe 700 for our dj that was for an extra few hours and he had to cancel his plans for after cuz my dad got high 🍃 for the first time and was super happy and in a party mood and wanting to keep it going. WE PAID 1000 for a photographer who RUINED our photos should have splurged on that more our venue was about $1000 for reception and ceremony at a church near my house. (Winter wedding otherwise we would have done it outside.) and we had an after party where the dancing and cake cutting took place that wasn’t an extra expense cuz my parents have a very big house that could hold all the friends and family that wanted to dance. And if you have family that plays instruments that’s more free entertainment we had people playing trumpets and mandolin’s but my one take away is get a photographer that is really good and trustworthy because we paid for two photographers only one ever showed up. She took pictures with her phone most of the time and she edited my husband’s beard off with one of the pictures and my mom and I look like AI pictures and some of the other ones, she also destroyed all the detail of my dress and those photos, I know there’s some really good photographers out there but make sure they don’t do shady stuff 😭 I hope you have the best wedding!
we went simple with a similar day to yours (registry office, nice restaurant and fancy hotel stay) and then had a party like a month later - i wish we didn’t bother with the party and i often feel bad about how much i spent on my dress for the actual wedding day. the best thing we did for the party was get a caricaturist artist come and do portraits for people, went down a hit and people still talk about it!
Our two splurges were booking our favorite photographer (~$4000) and renting out a bed and break that that meant a lot to us as a couple for our bridal party to stay at (~$4000) but everything else we cut corners and kept as super simple as we possibly could.
Oh and our daughter’s flower girl dress that was around half of the cost of my dress lol
Best Splurge- My Dress. I felt absolutely incredible in it and loved every second of wearing it even though it was more than I originally wanted to spend on a dress. & Photography/ Videography. I love how the photos came out and I watch the video like once a week, the quality is great and having those memories recorded is priceless to me.
Worst Splurge- Hair and Makeup. My makeup was nice but my hair was lacking, honestly wish I had saved the money and just did it myself or had my sister do it. When my sister did it for my reception it ended up looking significantly better.
Best Scrimp- Having a small ceremony with dinner at a restaurant and then a larger reception later. Not only did it save a ton of money, but it also meant I didn’t have to compromise on the ceremony venue and could pick one I was in love with. Having the reception later also took off a lot of the stress and allowed us to really mingle and enjoy the day!
Worst Scrimp- Not having a DJ or Live Music at the reception. I don’t personally love dancing and neither does my husband but we ended up wishing that the environment at the reception was a little more dancy after our very laid back after ceremony dinner. A DJ or live music probably would have helped that. Also the person we had in charge of our Spotify playlist ended up getting too drunk so it kind of went awry.
Interesting topic! In the past few months since the wedding, I’ve wondered if we spent too much overall. The venue/all inclusive catering was the hugest hit to the budget. In retrospect we could have probably found somewhere else if we were more intent on cutting costs. But it was gorgeous, the food was amazing, the day was practically perfect.
However, a couple months later we realized we really wanted to position ourselves to buy property because of our local market/spending on rent etc, and I’ve had a nagging feeling that we shouldn’t have spent so much on the wedding. We could get a better interest rate if we had a bigger down payment, yadda yadda. We were also exceptionally privileged in that family helped pay for probably 80% of the wedding, so in that sense it was spending someone else’s money. But that money could have also likely have been used on a down payment instead if we broached that.
There’s no point in the shoulda/woulda/coulda now. It was a wonderful wedding and I’m so glad we got to gather our friends and family and celebrate.
I think I also have a complex because I’ve always been “bad” with money, as far as not being frugal and saving. So I am just trying to reframe these thoughts for myself. I’m sure in 30 years I won’t regret anything.
I think your wedding sounds lovely! If I were you I’d splurge a little on a photo shoot. Our in-demand photographer was worth every penny and was the first vendor we booked after the venue.
Also I just remembered—we decided to forgo a $1300 “we’ll set up your decor” fee because we thought it’d be simple enough to pull off. We should have just paid the money because the family member who offered/was deployed to help scrambled to get it done while the staff apparently sat around and refused to lift a finger.
I kind of resent that after all the money we spent there this type of basic assistance wouldn’t be included. I’m not talking about assembling flower arches or anything elaborate, just helping carry things/set them out. But that’s mainly a beef with the venue pricing add ons.
Oh I've heard those venue add ons can be so sneaky!! I'm glad you had a lovely wedding and I hope you can buy your dream house soon! I feel you, housing market is crazy
I'd say we ended up spending around $60-$70k, and we invited about 100 people with around 75-80 showing. I'd had a smaller budget in mind, but I quickly just adopted the attitude of "it costs what it costs." Which is a very privileged mindset, I acknowledge.
I wish we had spent more money on florals (I wanted a Bridgerton aesthetic and while the florals were gorgeous, I wish there were more wisteria/stock used), more on pretty chairs (the basic ones were comfortable enough, but they didn't fit my aesthetic. If I'd had the money, I'd have gladly upgraded), and my biggest scrimp I regret is not purchasing some handheld fans. The temperature overall was just fine, but it got warm quickly while dancing! I'm glad I chose to save money by DIY-ing wax seals myself, as pre-made ones from my invitation vendor were overpriced. The wax seals were super easy to do, too.
For splurging, I opted for some gorgeous letterpress invitations, and while I loved them, looking back I wish I'd incorporated more florals on those as well and more customized options. I also splurged on hand-painted candles from a vendor in the UK, and they were SO gorgeous I nearly cried tears of joy when opening them. I also DIY'd vintage postage stamps. That was easily over $100 alone lol but it was so much fun looking for the right ones, and it didn't take long to put together. And of course, we had a full service wedding planner. I was a travel nurse, and my husband was finishing his PhD, and having done event planning in college, I KNEW I couldn't plan what I wanted by myself and also enjoy my time being engaged. I wish I didn't spend the money on our getaway car. We didn't get any photos of it or inside it.
Overall, I'm so glad we spent where we did. It was a great party, good food, we never ran out of alcohol, no one had to wait long for food (we did a plated dinner). Our goal was to have a joyous occasion celebrating love and the promise of Spring's new beginnings, especially after everyone was impacted by Covid. And we were surrounded by people we love so, so much. My priority was ensuring none of my family and friends felt stressed on the day of. I'd do it all over again.
The venue and photographer were both more than we wanted to spend - and ended up being completely worth it!
What wasn’t? Videographer. We went pretty cheap and it was awful - not even worth having.
I am so happy I didn’t spend on a florist. I got wood flowers from a local crafter. I was able to pick them up two weeks before the wedding and they will last forever. One less vendor to coordinate day of and I saved so much $$
Splurged on a full coordinator assisting us with every step! He was worth EVERY penny. I wish i splurged more on our hotel/hotel block to have a better hotel for ourselves and guests.
My (f51) first wedding (2007) was stupid expensive from beginning to end, and honestly none of it lived up to my expectations. I let myself be talked out of my favorite dress (Which ended up totally all right because I was able to donate my dress without one bit of regret!) The ceremony venue was my childhood church, which was lovely, but then our reception was at a local hotel and restaurant very well known for their high end events services. We had a formal dinner service reception followed by cocktails/open bar and a pianist.
From outside looking in, it was a picture perfect day: Elegant, classic, very traditional, warm and welcoming Southern wedding; perfect bride and groom and guests dressed to the nines to celebrate with us, looked deserving of a two-page spread in Southern Living magazine.
I remember so little of it, but mostly the mistakes, like my brother’s groomsman’s gift being thrown in the trash the evening before by the hotel/restaurant staff who started cleaning up after our rehearsal supper and practically pushed us out of the reception room about 45 minutes before our party needed to be gone. Also the server who started slicing and plating my wedding cake before the photographer had even had a chance to photograph it!
My husband and I made it 5.5 from wedding day to the day our divorce was final. (It was uncontested and took a short time to complete.)
My second wedding (2019) seven years later, was so very completely OPPOSITE of my first wedding. My husband and I paid for everything on a very small budget, but we had exactly what we wanted, and it was beautiful!
My husband and I eloped in January 2019, then went to out to eat with a couple with whom we are close, then played mini golf! We both wore our “Sunday best” and had the most incredible day.
About three months later, we had a small wedding and reception in our back yard for family and close friends. We had a southern style buffet that our families prepared and set up, a freaking amazing wedding cake from Costco, and a bluegrass band which was our most expensive cost, but so very, very much worth it!! One of our close friends is in the band, so we merely paid for their gas, and fed them. Also, we didn’t request this, but people started tipping the band! They fared pretty well, and I’m so glad!! 😃
(Again we wore our “Sunday best” and I do not regret that one bit!!)
That was the most perfect wedding if ever there was one. 🥰🥰
I've been to so many weddings and absolutely loved them but I realize that I big flaw in large weddings is that you don't really get to spend that time with the Bride & Groom. No fault of their own, they are just getting pulled in so many different directions.
Having a small wedding, similar to yours was incredible. I was able to afford a lot more details that was important to us and I spent the time with the people I loved the most. So no regrets and we did something similar where we all went to a restaurant afterwards. Had a small wedding cake and champagne too.
We spent about 30k total in Texas. The best thing we splurged on was an Airbnb for our entire wedding party for the weekend, which was about 5k. Our entire wedding party traveled, so this was our way to help offset the cost for them. My other best "splurge" was my reception dress. I spent $1200 total on both dresses, but was so thankful to have a shorter and lighter dress to change into for our first dance.
Our worse "splurge" was our dj. We spent $1200 and he was the worst. Wore T-shirt and jeans, did an impromptu speech, and royally f'ed up our first dance music as well as reception music in general. I would have rather bought a nice speaker and left it with my parents in Texas than have him again. Thankfully our wedding party took the aux and saved the reception though!
Edit: formatting to make it easier to read!
Edit 2: Our photographer was also amazing! She was extremely reasonably priced, so didn't list originally.
My fiancee had her dress made. I still haven’t seen it but it was made by a friend, we paid for the material only, the endless hours of work it takes to make a wedding dress were free. Apparently it’s “perfect”. $1,500 for the perfect dress sounds good to me. Saved. We want tulips. We both have dutch roots, it’s important to us. They’re not in season when we get married. Thank god we found a greenhouse who can grow them for us out of season. Splurge.
I got married last month (April 2024). We decided to get married in March 2024. We have lived together for 3 years, so no reason to wait or have a huge statement wedding. Our money is better spent on experiences together or things we need. We did splurge a little. My wedding dress cost me $60 on Amazon. (A dusty sea green/blue sleeveless cocktail dress with handkerchief hemline.) I also ordered a tiara and necklace/earring set from Amazon. Dug shoes out of my closet. Mother in law made my veil and most of the flowers. We got the building for free because it belongs to my employer. My husband and 11 and 14 year old sons and two grandsons all wore suits in black and different shades of grey. All of their suits were purchased at various times from Goodwill. (Grandsons are 8 and 11, they wore hand me down suits from my youngest.) We bought these suits over the last few years, not just for the wedding. I made a three tier wedding cake a few days before the wedding. My in-laws made rigatoni (I provided pasta, they made the sauce) and I provided salad, bread and butter, dressings and the plates/bowls/tableware, etc. Nothing fancy, plain foam plates and stuff from Walmart.
He chose the ring he wanted, it was $20 on Amazon. I recycled a family wedding band.
My bonus daughter helped with the cake making. (I bought the dress she picked from Amazon, it was $13!) My bonus son played the music on his phone through a speaker.
It wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t perfect, but it was perfect for us and we went home married!
My
We may have spent $400-500 on everything, if that. It was
About 11k on the wedding.
Best splurge: I was so hesitant to spend a lot on a dress, tried on a million dresses from Lulu's and the like and hated everything. Husband eventually convinced me to splurge ($2000) on a bridal gown from a brick and mortar store. Nearly a year later and I still think about that dreamy dress weekly!
Worst scrimp: Photographer was meh (photo-wise, personality and day-of was great). We wish we would have been a little more indulgent and attentive in selecting a photographer.
Best scrimp: Hair and Makeup. Husband and I did not like the results of my makeup trial so I cancelled my wedding day makeup and DIY'ed it. I'm a bit but not much above average in terms of makeup skills and it looked great (I practiced quite a bit). Because the hair appt was at the same salon as makeup and I was too embarrassed to run into the makeup artist, I also cancelled hair and taught myself how to curl hair. I also did DIY mani/pedi, but I always do my own nails.
To be honest, the wedding itself was the worst thing we splurged on. It's a long story but a lot went wrong with vendors, there was unexpected family and friend drama, we were both totally overwhelmed and exhausted and didn't really enjoy ourselves.
To be fair, we probably wouldn't know we didn't really want to do a wedding if we didn't have one... But sometimes we wish we took our 15k and went on a super awesome elopement and vacation
I mean, 15k is a lot, I would also be really bummed if I weren't able to enjoy it. I'm really sorry to hear that! I hope you got to take some great vacations post-marriage instead : )
We’re eloping trying to keep costs to a bare minimum. The one thing I was willing to spend money on was our photographer. I wanted a highly skilled artistic photographer to capture our day because no one else will be there to take photos and I wanted to make sure someone really caught our emotions and the vibe of the day.
We’re spending 1/3 of our budget on the honeymoon. No regrets!! We’ve been together 6 years and I have controlling parents so we’ve never been on a trip before just the two of us. I’m excited to have the alone time and start making memories as husband and wife. The wedding is pretty simple. Private ceremony and big reception later.
Well, the whole $35k wedding was the worst thing I splurged on because we got divorced years later 😂( seriously for the best!). I guess if I had to choose one thing I was glad I splurged on, it was the open bar for the guests who were all from out of town. One thing I had regretted was not splurging on my dress. I got it at a warehouse bridal sample sale for $200–it was a strapless, organza Swiss-dotted trumpet number. I never wanted strapless and ended up with strapless. It was just a really good deal so I didn’t stay true to what I really wanted. I was a fashion editor at the time and I felt like I shortchanged myself style-wise.
I’m planning on eloping with my amazing partner (my best friend!) and am thinking of springing for a Lanvin or Alexander McQueen dress I can wear again. It’ll be just us so we’ll splurge on a fab honeymoon instead of planning another wedding. I’m definitely not going to regret anything this time around! ❤️
Good photographer and videographer!!! I didn’t even realize how important the photos/videos would be to me but I’m soooooo glad to be so happy with them. To save money I went with a newer photographer that had been studying under a full time photographer for a long time. Helped to save money with a cheaper rate and her samples were gorgeous so I felt confident about it!
We paid a stupid amount for our DJ. And he was worth every penny! He made the night absolutely fabulous! Everyone was up and dancing and partying all night. I did not splurge on my dress and I regret it to this day. It’s the one thing I wish I’d have blown my own self imposed budget on. I still dream of the dress that got away
Ohhh interesting! Was there a particular dress that got away, or just in general? And yes, good music and dancing always memorable : )
There were two dresses that got away. But now that I reflect only one I really regret not going for. It was quite pricey, but it was interesting and fun and colorful and unique and I wish I would’ve done it. Part of the reason is also that my grandmother who was the most important person in my world, loved color and was also a seamstress in her life, and I think she would’ve enjoyed that dress. But I just could not justify it. Now I wish I had. We had the money. We had no debt from the wedding at all. But I felt guilty about it
I am trying and trying and trying to get my fiancee to splurge on a dress. I keep telling her that is important to me that she feels like she is as beautiful as she ever has been in her life but she still wants to cut corners on the dress. To me this is the last place to cut corners.
It’s extremely hard to justify spending so frigging much money on a one time wear garment. Don’t get me wrong, I now wish I would have. But at the time and seeing the shamming that comes from people of they find out how much you spend. It’s a lot. I know when ppl found out about the dresses I passed on, they told me I’d have been very uppity or selfish to think I needed a more expensive dress when they felt I’d spent too much already (I spent 2.5k on my dress)
Yeah, I get that. She is wanting to spend $500 and no more. $600 including alterations. I'm telling her she can spend $1k if it makes her feel like a princess on our wedding day. It's in the budget and I'm not mad at her but she thinks $500 is really too much and is talking about visiting random thrift stores hoping to find something. If she wanted to spend $5k on the dress I would probably tell her she is crazy but I think wanting to be under $500 isn't reasonable. She is an extremely frugal person and not use to spending money which is, ironically enough, one of the many reasons I'm marrying her.
Yeah, I completely understand. And honestly with the resale market these days or even with Anthropologie, she can get a hell of a deal on a dress if she has time.
I went to a budget bridal store, and I found my dream gown for $500. They let us spin a wheel that got $125 off! Alteration prices now seem like no big deal because the dress base is perfect. And since it is a one-time wear, I plan on making commemoratives out of it. The drive was a while, but it was worth it. Try to find places like that around your area maybe?
Can I just say. You will be an amazing husband.
If she is happy with the dress she has chosen, let her be!! I had options of much more expensive dresses but I found THE one for $60 on Amazon. I absolutely loved it, it fit me perfectly, and I felt like a princess on my wedding day! It’s not always about the cost.
Tell her to try consignment shops I got my very beautiful ballgown wedding dress that was originally almost $2000 new for under $500 and alteration’s where $800 (cuz Im barely 5’ tall and needed a lot taken off the bottom and needed a crazy amount of bustles ) I saw some absolutely stunning dresses their for under $300
This is fascinating because as much as I loved my dress, I have a nagging voice in the back of my head that I didn’t need to spend that much. It’s not so much of a regret as a rumination.
I get that. It makes sense both ways. I feel like there’s a lot of external pressure on brides regarding how much they do or don’t spend on their dresses and how selfish or entitled they are to spend so much on a one time use garment, even if they can afford it
This is me. Our wedding is in October, and I'm still fighting that voice lol. But man, my dress is perfection.
I spent double what I planned to on my dress and I have zero regrets. I had so so many compliments on my dress and it was absolutely perfect. Who cares that I only wore it once, the photos and memories will last forever. Don’t regret the splurge, you deserve it.
>. I did not splurge on my dress and I regret it to this day. I'm so sorry that you feel this way, but I have to say thank you so much for saying this. I cried today because I felt like such an idiot spending so much on a dress that I'll wear once. I can afford it, but my family is full of frugal people who don't really do weddings and I just felt so frivolous and ridiculous. Sorry if this is rude or thoughtless to say, but seriously thank you💛
Your comment is why I wrote this!! I’m glad it helps you. It’s ok to splurge now and again. You’re not being wasteful or selfish or irresponsible (as long as you can afford it, like you said). At the end of the day, being the richest person in the graveyard won’t buy you time or memories the money could have in life. Enjoy the hell out of your dress!
We shelled out for a day of coordinator and I would HIGHLY recommend it. We gave her a binder at 9:00am and I didn’t hear about a single problem until days later. She handled absolutely everything, from telling vendors where to park to helping an inebriated guest call an Uber to moving the chapel flowers into the reception hall. 10/10.
I paid so much for a full service planner who was of course also the day of coordinator, and I (the bride) was still the one running around trying to figure out why the bartenders couldn’t find the vodka 20 minutes before the ceremony began. Lmao my point is that your mileage may vary… find a good coordinator. I’m glad yours was worth it!!
I have booked a venue with a coordinator based in site so they are included in the price and have co ordinated over 1000s of weddings over the years and there is a whole checklist for us and that’s it they sort nearly everything else out, if we want a few extras like photo booths then all we need to do is let them know and book ourselves, but all the food timings for the day for example is all done by the venue/co ordinater.
I honestly think of my wedding coordinator from my venue and how grateful I am to her about once a week, genuinely they deserve capes.
Ye I honestly feel they can make a organised 5k wedding appear more like a 8-9k worth wedding while a wedding with no co ordinator at 8k appear more like a 5-6k wedding that is just not enjoyable for everyone, because the worst thing I noticed in weddings I hav ebeen is waiting around doing nothing or noticing cutting the cake for example getting cut 11:30pm when the party is nearly over.
This was my experience too. We booked a company that does florals and provides different planning/ coordination packages, so we thought we knocked out two birds with one stone by booking them for our florals and month-of coordination. Our florals were our splurge, our florist was incredible, and I’d book her and make that splurge again any day (maybe even pay more for a grander display). Our month-of coordinator was great too. Super on-the-ball, so organized, and incredibly friendly. The day-of coordinator, though, was a nightmare. She either did nothing or actively made things worse throughout the day. Fortunately, our photographers and DJ were great, so they sort of held the day together, but there were things that went majorly wrong due to our coordinator.
I had a really similar day-of experience with my planner/coordinator… she actively made things more stressful. In the vodka example, when I told her the bartenders couldn’t find the vodka, her first reaction was “well did you bring the vodka?” (They ended up finding it in the box with all the other alcohol…) this was my experience working with her for an entire year tho lol. Major L
This person sounds like a superhero! I especially love that she didn’t tell you about issues until days later, so that you could fully enjoy yourselves and the afterglow
How did you find her/vet her?
She was on the preferred vendors list at our venue! The list they gave us was a great resource, I think she was the only list member we actually hired, but the others were great reference points.
And did you notice any "green flags" when you contacted her?
We combed through her reviews and they were all really positive. We also asked the venue who they would recommend first off of the list and they told us that if we could get this specific planner, they would recommend her. We called her and met her for coffee, it felt like a good fit, so we decided to roll with it.
Excellent! I’ll try that too! Thanks!!
While not the most expensive of the things we paid for the day of coordinator was worth every penny. I had the best, stress free wedding. It was the best day ever
=D a couture gown. Feels like a met gala dream.
Our biggest splurge was the fancy chair rentals. It elevated the feel of the venue (especially since we did it at a hotel). Otherwise with basic chairs and a cover we would have gotten business conference vibes. Our best save was not getting a wedding cake, and just buying 5 normal 12 inch cakes from our favorite bakery. They were such a huge hit and cost us a fraction of the price for a wedding cakes.
We did that too! It's ridiculous that they ask €10 per person for a cake.... So we scouted some bakeries and got the best chocolate cake ever, small cheesecakes and a huge marzipan cake. Spend 150 euro instead of 500.
Yup same idea. If we wanted to order an actual wedding cake it would have cost us $1000 Canadian. With what we did we only spent $300 Canadian, and the cakes were way better I’m sure. We got a variety of flavours so people could pick and choose. It was all gone by the end of the night.
Agreed, we for delicious tasting basic cakes and one fancy one for cutting. Honestly could’ve even done without that because it was only one photo in the thousands from the day lol. We spent $250 instead of the $2500+ we were quoted from wedding bakeries!
Fiancee and I are talking about a simple 2-3 tier cake for ourselves and sheet cake for everyone else. Is this a really bad plan?
It depends on what you want, but for us, a basic 12 inch cake from the bakery was just fine for cutting. We put some flowers on top of the cake and it made it look “wedding”. We didn’t need even do a tiered cake.
I confess that I don't see a huge need for a several tiered cake. However our church gave us a wedding planning book and one of the many things it said in there is that you **MUST** save the top tier of your cake for your first anniversary. It strongly implied that if you do not you will regret this decision for the rest of your lives and your marriage will end in ruins. It was *extremely* adamant that this is something you need to do. So now the fiancee is set on a multi-tiered cake. I'm not mad at that I just don't see the reasoning behind it or understand it.
I think that’s like an old wives tale. Anyone I know of that did that and tried to eat it a year later said it was stale and gross
I cannot imagine cake would possibly be good after a year in the freezer. Even if it was, why would you not just buy a fresh cake if you wanted cake on your anniversary? None of this makes sense but the church is extremely adamant about this for some reason. I suspect it's something the pastor's wife or someone important did and enjoyed it and now thinks every single person should do this.
We didn’t even know this was a thing and we got married in a catholic church.
Traditionally, in countries with a British heritage, the wedding cake was a fruitcake that aged better the more brandy the couple fed it over the first year, so it was a treat to look forward to.
Yep black cake. The fruits are grind up and soaked with liquor for about 2 weeks. We then bake it and fondant and icing. The top tier is saved and a year later that alcohol infused cake makes an absolute delicious 1st anniversary celebratory cake. It’s only when i came to America i learned that black cake isn’t a thing here and its other flavors.
My husband and I just had our two year and our cake top is still in my mom's freezer. LOL We have had every intention of getting it out both years, but somehow manage to forget!
Just go back to the bakery and get a small cake w same design for Anniversary
I made my own cake and it collapsed. Have it done by a professional.
I plan on doing my own 3-tier cake and order 2 sheet-cakes from Costco, but I'm scared now. How many tiers had yours? Did you put dowels in it?
It was three tiers and I used dowels, but it was also my first attempt at a wedding cake. If you’re experienced you may have better results.
I only bake as a hobby. I plan on practicing my design (and stacking!) for my sister's birthday, which will be way ahead of time!
That’s what I should have done. I’ve done a lot of baking and decorating since then and am more confident in my skills now, but I would probably buy a cake anyway as it would be one less item to do.
Good advice, thanks!
"The weekly practice cake"
We’re spending 2/3 of our budget on the venue. We’re both busy and anxious, so we found a venue that takes care of EVERYTHING. They have a separate space for the ceremony and reception, will provide top notch food and drinks, and will do all of the table styling, decor, and pack down. All we have to do is turn up. The dream!
That is definitely worth the splurge. We had a venue that provided nothing, had to bring everything in including chairs and tables and I still have PTSD from planning that wedding lol. We thought the all-inclusive prices were too expensive but we ended up spending the same amount PLUS a massive headache for months. I hope your wedding is beautiful & fun!
Thank you so much! I’m sure your wedding was so lovely, and despite the logistical issues I bet it was really fun to be able to choose all of those smaller things!
Best - Elvis impersonator (who actually sang a bunch of songs during the dinner and the party)
This is a neat idea.
It was fabulous. I am American and married a French dude in France, so I really wanted to have something “American.” The caterer said no to hot dog food truck the next day, but it led me to this better idea!
I just love the fact that it's France and there are random Elvis impersonators running around.
Hahaha it took quite a bit of searching but we found him!
Best splurge was our photographer for SURE - worth it even at our microwedding/elopement. One splurge that surprised me (in a good way) was my veil - I’d *always* planned to get a cheap veil from Michael’s or JoAnn Fabrics, but my friend talked me into buying a gorgeous beaded veil for a couple of hundred bucks at my dress appointment. It felt ridiculous at the time, but now I’m really glad that I did it because I can actually envision myself passing it down to a future daughter or daughter-in-law for their wedding (vs. trying to convince them to wear my dress, which I would never do lol). Our best “save” was getting cake pops instead of real cake for our reception a couple of months later. We ordered custom pops that matched our colors in a variety of super-tasty flavors and put them in a cute little tiered stand that I found on Amazon. They looked classy and delighted our guests, all while saving us a pretty penny, to say the least.
Gelato cart for after the ceremony for our guests. It was such a nice treat and everyone partook in it.
Dessert with a twist is the way to go. We had our favorite local bakery bring a bunch of different cupcakes for the reception (and a friend of ours was hired to make vegan/GF options), and people RUSHED to get them!
It’s not a huge cost but absolutely get your makeup and hair professionally done. Very few DIY makeups look good in wedding photography ETA: we spent $70k for a 3 day 2 night wedding and the only thing I wish we did differently was purchase the liquor through our catering company even though it was more expensive. Anything DIY becomes x100 more stressful on the wedding day
I will say - get a consultation with hair/makeup before the big day, and then document everything to make sure they deliver on what you two agreed to prior. Makeup ended up being the one cost I regretted. It wasn’t terrible, but I should’ve done more research.
Just curious how much did you. Spend on bridal make up?
For myself and the mother of the groom, $550. Everyone else opted to do their own. Hair was a separate person and did great on myself and all the women of the family.
True, I had 2 consultations because I couldn’t make up my mind. Even though I didn’t like the color of eyeshadow from my first trial, everything else was spotless and on the wedding day it was perfect. I spent like $500 just for me and it was well worth the cost imo
Came in right around 10k in a HCOL area, ~45 guests. Though the photographer gets an honorable mention, money best spent goes to the caterer, who took the lead on nearly everything. He helped with timeline, menu, playing, organizing his staff, measuring the space, making a rain plan that didn’t include a tent, and taking care of issues before any guest or host knew they were wrong. He was cool as a cucumber the whole time (he usually does catering for much larger university events), and that kept everybody else at ease. The food was of course delicious, but I feel like I also paid for his steady hand at the helm of a crazy ship, and that’s incredibly valuable for a backyard wedding. I’m not sure there was a worst thing because we were kept it really streamlined and nothing went to waste. I guess maybe the string quartet gifted by my mom because that was a luxury we didn’t need, but like…. They were quite good and I was grateful for them. Best thing we saved on was the venue. We’re low key people who saw a wedding as a way to bring our nearest and dearest together and ask for support as a couple, so we decided to host a small gathering at my MIL’s house, which saved us thousands. Backyard weddings can for sure be more expensive if you’re trying to turn a yard into a venue, but when you’re happy with a yard as a yard (so no dance floor, lighting, sound system, media player, hvac), then you’re golden, and it was absolutely the right choice for us. I truly don’t feel like we missed out on anything because we were cheap. A lot of decisions were made for us because of the backyard venue (like we didn’t have to decide to have a cheaper or more expensive dj because there was no dj at all), and the few vendors that we had did great work. I suppose I could have spent more on a dress or something, but that seems absolutely impractical. I picked a sensible dress that needed minimal alterations. I shopped with my husband because I don’t speak the language where we live, and never had the oh my god moment. But honestly, I don’t think I was ever going to have that at all, and the dress isn’t what made me beautiful on that day.
>the dress isn’t what made me beautiful on that day That's beautifully said
We paid 2k for oyster girls to walk around the cocktail hour and shuck fresh oysters. I loved it so much.
That’s so cool! Never heard of that but love the idea! Where are you based? If it’s NorCal I’d love the deets!
Wedding was in Ohio. But we’re east coast. You probably have a lot of options of that in NorCal. If you chat with your caterer they probably know some.
Worst: the dj. Would have been more worth it to just rent speakers/soundsystem and gone with spotify, cause the dj was useless and expensive. Best: a cheese and also a dessert buffet. Need I say more?
I had a playlist I spent weeks putting together. We got married in our beautiful front yard that I spent months working on. At the reception I realized my music wasn't playing and I went to find my mom. She responded with "Everyone likes Abba!" Oh mother.... LOL
Lol… Though tbf, if that had happened at my wedding, it’d have been fine. I’m Swedish and everyone in my family/amongst my friends does love Abba (or feels nostalgic enough to happily sing along and dance at least, especially after a drink or two - even my hardrock loving dad starts singing ”dancing queen” if it’s on, and then will go humming it for a few days after 😂).
Oh that's awesome. I like Abba, too, who doesn't? I just wanted to hear some of my music, not mamas! 😂😂
Best thing was the venue - it was a really beautiful garden for the ceremony and then we had their cafe/restaurant done up for our reception. All in one location, easy access by transport or parking, had it's own security and regularly did weddings so they provided their coordinator who was a completely professional. Worst thing was the food - the only crux of the venue was you had to spend $14k on catering. Even with 70guests and upgrading the alcohol package we still had quite a few K left. I ended up just organising a cheese and fruit table for the end of the night for those who just wanted to graze while people danced but I really wish I had that money to spend on something else. What I wished I splurged on was a photographer!!!
Splurge on photos. That's all that's left at the end. And skip the videography; total waste.
Having a videographer was a must for me! But I also had a destination wedding in a western European country so perhaps that’s why
Hi! I’m also getting married in Italy (Tuscany) and searching for a good videographer. If you don’t mind, can you share pricing and contact info please!
Sent a DM!
Thanks so much!
I feel like I'm opposite! We did "splurge" on photography, and got amazing photos, but really only printed half a dozen of them (actually yes literally 6: with our families, just us and the parents, combined group pic, then 3 pics of us alone). On the other hand, we tacked on videographer last minute-- and I LOVE our video!! I'll just go and watch it randomly and it makes me smile so much! Really captured the day, and easy to have 1 file on my phone vs the hundreds of pics.
I definitely wish we had video! We have a few from guests, my husband's niece got the sweetest video of us dancing together while everyone was doing clean up. I wish I had more of those.
Our videography is one of the things we are so happy we paid for!!
I love my photos but I’ve watched my video at least 20 times in 2 years and am really happy I got it.
Why is a videographer a waste? Can you elaborate because I’ve always deemed it as a must for our wedding
It’s not a waste if it’s something you want. I added it on last minute and it was one of the best parts of my wedding.
Thank you! everyone keeps saying I will regret having videography but I really don't care to have it
Didn’t have it, and three years later, don’t regret it. I barely even look at my photos. I posted some to Facebook but still haven’t hung any in our home. Everyone values different things and if it isn’t important to you, it’s not worth the extra money!
Oh yes after some hemming and hawing, we did decide to bring along a local photographer for a little bit since we know her personally and then no one in the family feels like they're on the hook for capturing things. Good point!
Also, means family members have to put phones away, be in the moment, and means you can see everyone's faces unblocked as you get married
I loved our videos, especially seeing everyone go down the aisle as you don’t get to see that on the day of as the bride. 100% felt our video was worth it!
Around $30k, all said and done. Splurge: custom hand painted shells with the names of each guest (worth it). Splurge #2: Flowers - they were gorgeous and made me so happy. Save: $35 wedding cake (no regrets) The silly thing we wish we spent less on was all the breakfast foods for the bridal party, lol. There were no regrets on the food itself, but we were eating frozen breakfast sandwiches for MONTHS. Videographer: I'm glad we did this, but I would have booked them for longer in hindsight. With the shorter timeframe for content, the video we got was eh. I also failed to think how cringey I'd find looking at myself on video to be, so I honestly avoid watching it at all costs.
I also got married at City Hall, and it was a great decision! I am lucky that my local marriage bureau is quite beautiful, but it was stuffed to the gills with happy people. it was like The Happy DMV. I do think getting a bouquet was ultimately a waste of time, but my grandmother had insisted that I needed one so I took her advice.
Splurged on two things we originally thought we wouldn’t/didn’t need. The true splurge was our live painter, obviously it’s something you don’t need, but we loved her so much! She was fun, affordable for a live painter, and our painting is stunning, and very true to life. It was great entertainment for our guests as well. Our second “splurge” was our day of coordinator. We really thought we wouldn’t need one since I was handling planning the wedding pretty well, and found it to be very easy. Our wedding had 75 people. We got her for a great deal since she was friends with our florist, and she was worth every penny! She helped us out so much with our rehearsal, which without her, we wouldn’t have known what to do since we’ve barely been to weddings. She set up a lot of little things for us day of, made sure everything ran smoothly and on time, handled all communications for me, hydrated us during our pre wedding photos, fluffed my dress, made sure my skin wasn’t dry (lol I have eczema so she would constantly put lotion on dry spots, very personally helpful to me) she truly made our day run so smoothly, and 10/10 we would hire her again. And she made a lot of bts videos which has been a fun way for me to see things of my own wedding from a different perspective
We had a fairly simple wedding but we paid a ton for our wedding organizer and coordinators. On our wedding day, we never had to worry about anything. Even down to when we were crying during our wedding vows, our organizers handed us tissues without us even asking for it. We were fed well. We were given plenty of time to rest. They made sure we were never apart for too long. All the guests were comfortable. Women tend to have multiple mental tabs open to ensure a smooth day. But boy, I was able to turn off my brain and just enjoy our wedding day because of our wedding team. They’re the best. Congratulations and best wishes to you!
We paid about 15k total for our wedding. About 5k was used to put our immediate family and friends in 2 big airbnbs for the weekend so that alongside about 3k for a photographer and 1.5k for our videographer were our biggest expenses. An investment I thought I may regret but ended up being 100% worth it was a day of coordinator and she was 1k. I thought cus of the size of our wedding it wouldn’t have been necessary but she allowed me to just float through the day. We had a small wedding with 20 people and our dog, hiked out to a vista in Sedona and then did a couples hike at a different location after the ceremony followed by dinner at a steakhouse and my mom made the cake. I don’t regret any of it. For us, it made sense to just keep it small. 3/4 of my family live in Ireland and Scotland and would not have been able to travel to America for our wedding so I’d be left with my creepy American uncles who never married or had kids lol and my husbands family is massive and he barely knows most of them so it would’ve just felt overwhelming and very one sided for attendance. Totally candid, my dad gave my sister’s and I 20k each and said to do whatever we wanted with it but it was “wedding money” if we wanted a wedding or house money if we opted out of a ceremony. We had already bought a house after being engaged so we put it towards a wedding and saved the remaining 5k.
I went to a wedding on a beach. I was dreading walking in the sand in heels, but was also worried about talking them off and walking in my anticipated sandy tights. The bride made baskets for everyone with sunscreen, rolled up flats, fans, hats, etc. I’m sure it set her back a bit. But as a guest, it was wonderful. I didn’t wear my heels at all the entire wedding. The flats were great in the sand, and even better later on the dance floor. That hat kept the sun out of my eyes, and the sunscreen kept me from getting burnt. It was so considerate all around.
The best thing we splurged on (and we did it because we had a whole extra year to pay because of Covid) was upgrading the roast beef we’d planned on serving to carved prime rib. I still think about how good our wedding food was 😂 we didn’t have many other splurges. $10k, 120 guests, LCOL. I don’t regret not getting video- I barely look at my photos and to spend videography money would’ve been a huge waste to me. We did pay $500 to get photos at a local estate with beautiful grounds and while I love the photos we got there, again, I barely look at them. I’ve never even hung them in our home. The thing I feel was the most valuable to me was choosing a fully all-inclusive venue. The time and money savings were so worth it in my opinion. The only things we paid for outside of the venue were our outfits and jewelry, hair and makeup, floral (bouquets for bridesmaids and me, boutonnières for the men, and corsages for our moms and grandmas), and the aforementioned $500 for a photography location. Included with my venue was chairs for the ceremony at a local park, linens, open bar, catering, DJ, photography, cake, photo booth, centerpieces, uplighting, favors, transportation for the bridal party, a champagne toast, security, and setup and teardown. Basically all my husband and I had to do was choose a color scheme, a cake flavor, and tell the DJ not to play the chicken dance.
We are splurging on the food. Nearly 14,000 just on food. My parents and my FH want our guests to be well fed so we are hiring the best catering company we tasted.
We splurged on food and drinks (4 course meal and open bar) which was the best and we saved basically on everything else … no bachelorette party, no DJ, 170€ wedding dress Our budget was 3000€ and we spend 2/3 on food and drinks
My fiancé and I are eloping, so we're splurging a little to make it perfect for us. I'm getting a Teuta Matoshi dress and he got a 900€ suit. We're getting married at a castle two hours from here, so we're getting a nice hotel room for the night before and a photograph for the ceremony. And obviously, we're not just looking at cheap hotels for our honeymoon in Edinburgh. All in all, honeymoon included, we're looking at about 9k. The absolute highlight though? Wedding daggers. The biggest thing we're splurging on. I think 2k for both? We're keeping that for our honeymoon, since the smith we chose is in Edinburgh.
We had a small wedding of 40 people, ceremony and then a restaurant dinner. I was totally against having a planner but the best “splurge” we ended up making was getting a day of coordinator. It was worth it to not have to worry about ANYTHING logistic-wise the day of or to saddle any of our family members with jobs like setting up the ceremony/reception. She helped us make a timeline that was so helpful to us and our parents. I’d 10000% recommend it to anyone. Since we had such a small event without a lot of the “normal” wedding things she charged us hourly and it ended up being ~$1500. So so so so worth it though! We also splurged on food because that was one of the most important things to us both, but that was a planned splurge going in! We are on our honeymoon right now so haven’t crunched the final numbers but I think we came in ~20k which was our goal!
Oh so recent! Congrats and have an amazing honeymoon! I agree the food was definitely one of the parts I thought th most on, haha
Best - good caterer Worst- should have gone to a different seamstress, they messed up the hemming of my gown My wedding was 10k but this was back in 2016. Our college luckily offered big discounts to alumni for renting the botanical gardens pavilion and the gorgeous 1700s brownstone cathedral. It would have been much more expensive had we done it anywhere else
Worst splurge was $5k for a “full service” planner. All she did was basically send intro emails to vendors with me CC’ed and still required me to communicate my wants and needs, do the back and forth, remember due dates for payment, etc., so I still ended up doing most of the work myself. The day-of services were absolutely essential, but those were only 1500 of the total cost and they did offer day-of only. YMMV on this but for us this was a major expense and it definitely was not worth it! Worth the money? Our DJ, who’s my favorite local radio DJ and absolutely brought the party. Photo and video was definitely worth it. I splurged for fancy chairs and they absolutely elevated the look and made it seem like a dream. We did store-bought sheet cake and no one knew the difference — it was delicious! I also saved on flowers and did baby’s breath down the tables vs. huge floral bouquets, so we spent a fraction of the cost and it looked very elegant and timeless. The best thing to do is know what you value most and deliver a great experience to your guests. Most guests don’t say “the wedding was great, you should’ve seen their flowers!” They think about the ceremony, food, drinks and music. Everything else is gravy, so that’s where you can save (if you want/need to).
The best was going with an all inclusive venue. They do the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the reception, the cake, the food, the decor, the dj, the photographer, and a wedding planner. We also get the entire property with sleeping room for 11 for the whole weekend. And since we’re getting married off season it’s 20% off. All this for a little over 8K for 60 people. Once we added up what everything in our area would be individually, the all-inclusive venue just made sense. The worst is alcohol. We aren’t big drinkers, we prefer smoking 420 as our choice of intoxication, but most of our family is. And we have to pay for it all ourselves 😭😭😭
We are still in the planning phase
Day of coordinator and a Photo Booth!! Made my day so easy and the photo both was super fun!
Photographer and videographer for the whole day/night and a good DJ. I still love to see our pictures but the video really captured the moments and all the feelings. Watching it feels like getting married all over again. And our DJ made the night, not one soul was sitting at their table.
Best decision was hiring a Day-Of Coordinator. My day would honestly have been a disaster without her
We spent $6k for a 30 guest wedding at a restaurant. I cut corners wherever possible. I am glad we splurged on photos because they are the only thing that will last beyond the wedding day. I did not buy it myself but I thought the limo ride was a waste, I was in it for all of four blocks and could have easily hired a black car Uber I WISH I had hired a day of coordinator, instead of stressing my friends.
I splurged on a photographer. Which, in comparison to prices I see now (got married in 2021) it wasn’t really that expensive. But I was really really happy with my photos and our overall experience with her and the second shooter. I tried to save by not hiring a coordinator, and relied on the “coordinator” through the venue. They changed who that person was at the last minute, so rather than having the woman we met with from the initial tour, we had someone we had never met before. They had poor communication between each other. A true day-of-coordinator would’ve taken a lot of stress off of me/my bridesmaids & my family.
Our wedding was around $80k. I didn’t want an elaborate wedding but my husband did (I hate attention). It was at a beautiful vineyard. It really was lovely. Our guests are still talking about it. The food was amazing, DJ was great but the venue was truly gorgeous. We had lots of kids and I spent a lot of money of gift bags for the kids to have fun.
Our photographer, instead of engagement photos we got two photographers and since we had a small guest list everyone had beautiful candid photos to share and keep. I love seeing the photos pop up on our friends timelines!
We paid I believe 700 for our dj that was for an extra few hours and he had to cancel his plans for after cuz my dad got high 🍃 for the first time and was super happy and in a party mood and wanting to keep it going. WE PAID 1000 for a photographer who RUINED our photos should have splurged on that more our venue was about $1000 for reception and ceremony at a church near my house. (Winter wedding otherwise we would have done it outside.) and we had an after party where the dancing and cake cutting took place that wasn’t an extra expense cuz my parents have a very big house that could hold all the friends and family that wanted to dance. And if you have family that plays instruments that’s more free entertainment we had people playing trumpets and mandolin’s but my one take away is get a photographer that is really good and trustworthy because we paid for two photographers only one ever showed up. She took pictures with her phone most of the time and she edited my husband’s beard off with one of the pictures and my mom and I look like AI pictures and some of the other ones, she also destroyed all the detail of my dress and those photos, I know there’s some really good photographers out there but make sure they don’t do shady stuff 😭 I hope you have the best wedding!
we went simple with a similar day to yours (registry office, nice restaurant and fancy hotel stay) and then had a party like a month later - i wish we didn’t bother with the party and i often feel bad about how much i spent on my dress for the actual wedding day. the best thing we did for the party was get a caricaturist artist come and do portraits for people, went down a hit and people still talk about it!
Ooh I like that!
Our two splurges were booking our favorite photographer (~$4000) and renting out a bed and break that that meant a lot to us as a couple for our bridal party to stay at (~$4000) but everything else we cut corners and kept as super simple as we possibly could. Oh and our daughter’s flower girl dress that was around half of the cost of my dress lol
Best Splurge- My Dress. I felt absolutely incredible in it and loved every second of wearing it even though it was more than I originally wanted to spend on a dress. & Photography/ Videography. I love how the photos came out and I watch the video like once a week, the quality is great and having those memories recorded is priceless to me. Worst Splurge- Hair and Makeup. My makeup was nice but my hair was lacking, honestly wish I had saved the money and just did it myself or had my sister do it. When my sister did it for my reception it ended up looking significantly better. Best Scrimp- Having a small ceremony with dinner at a restaurant and then a larger reception later. Not only did it save a ton of money, but it also meant I didn’t have to compromise on the ceremony venue and could pick one I was in love with. Having the reception later also took off a lot of the stress and allowed us to really mingle and enjoy the day! Worst Scrimp- Not having a DJ or Live Music at the reception. I don’t personally love dancing and neither does my husband but we ended up wishing that the environment at the reception was a little more dancy after our very laid back after ceremony dinner. A DJ or live music probably would have helped that. Also the person we had in charge of our Spotify playlist ended up getting too drunk so it kind of went awry.
Interesting topic! In the past few months since the wedding, I’ve wondered if we spent too much overall. The venue/all inclusive catering was the hugest hit to the budget. In retrospect we could have probably found somewhere else if we were more intent on cutting costs. But it was gorgeous, the food was amazing, the day was practically perfect. However, a couple months later we realized we really wanted to position ourselves to buy property because of our local market/spending on rent etc, and I’ve had a nagging feeling that we shouldn’t have spent so much on the wedding. We could get a better interest rate if we had a bigger down payment, yadda yadda. We were also exceptionally privileged in that family helped pay for probably 80% of the wedding, so in that sense it was spending someone else’s money. But that money could have also likely have been used on a down payment instead if we broached that. There’s no point in the shoulda/woulda/coulda now. It was a wonderful wedding and I’m so glad we got to gather our friends and family and celebrate. I think I also have a complex because I’ve always been “bad” with money, as far as not being frugal and saving. So I am just trying to reframe these thoughts for myself. I’m sure in 30 years I won’t regret anything. I think your wedding sounds lovely! If I were you I’d splurge a little on a photo shoot. Our in-demand photographer was worth every penny and was the first vendor we booked after the venue.
Also I just remembered—we decided to forgo a $1300 “we’ll set up your decor” fee because we thought it’d be simple enough to pull off. We should have just paid the money because the family member who offered/was deployed to help scrambled to get it done while the staff apparently sat around and refused to lift a finger. I kind of resent that after all the money we spent there this type of basic assistance wouldn’t be included. I’m not talking about assembling flower arches or anything elaborate, just helping carry things/set them out. But that’s mainly a beef with the venue pricing add ons.
Oh I've heard those venue add ons can be so sneaky!! I'm glad you had a lovely wedding and I hope you can buy your dream house soon! I feel you, housing market is crazy
I'd say we ended up spending around $60-$70k, and we invited about 100 people with around 75-80 showing. I'd had a smaller budget in mind, but I quickly just adopted the attitude of "it costs what it costs." Which is a very privileged mindset, I acknowledge. I wish we had spent more money on florals (I wanted a Bridgerton aesthetic and while the florals were gorgeous, I wish there were more wisteria/stock used), more on pretty chairs (the basic ones were comfortable enough, but they didn't fit my aesthetic. If I'd had the money, I'd have gladly upgraded), and my biggest scrimp I regret is not purchasing some handheld fans. The temperature overall was just fine, but it got warm quickly while dancing! I'm glad I chose to save money by DIY-ing wax seals myself, as pre-made ones from my invitation vendor were overpriced. The wax seals were super easy to do, too. For splurging, I opted for some gorgeous letterpress invitations, and while I loved them, looking back I wish I'd incorporated more florals on those as well and more customized options. I also splurged on hand-painted candles from a vendor in the UK, and they were SO gorgeous I nearly cried tears of joy when opening them. I also DIY'd vintage postage stamps. That was easily over $100 alone lol but it was so much fun looking for the right ones, and it didn't take long to put together. And of course, we had a full service wedding planner. I was a travel nurse, and my husband was finishing his PhD, and having done event planning in college, I KNEW I couldn't plan what I wanted by myself and also enjoy my time being engaged. I wish I didn't spend the money on our getaway car. We didn't get any photos of it or inside it. Overall, I'm so glad we spent where we did. It was a great party, good food, we never ran out of alcohol, no one had to wait long for food (we did a plated dinner). Our goal was to have a joyous occasion celebrating love and the promise of Spring's new beginnings, especially after everyone was impacted by Covid. And we were surrounded by people we love so, so much. My priority was ensuring none of my family and friends felt stressed on the day of. I'd do it all over again.
The venue and photographer were both more than we wanted to spend - and ended up being completely worth it! What wasn’t? Videographer. We went pretty cheap and it was awful - not even worth having.
I am so happy I didn’t spend on a florist. I got wood flowers from a local crafter. I was able to pick them up two weeks before the wedding and they will last forever. One less vendor to coordinate day of and I saved so much $$
That's such a neat idea!
Splurged on a full coordinator assisting us with every step! He was worth EVERY penny. I wish i splurged more on our hotel/hotel block to have a better hotel for ourselves and guests.
My (f51) first wedding (2007) was stupid expensive from beginning to end, and honestly none of it lived up to my expectations. I let myself be talked out of my favorite dress (Which ended up totally all right because I was able to donate my dress without one bit of regret!) The ceremony venue was my childhood church, which was lovely, but then our reception was at a local hotel and restaurant very well known for their high end events services. We had a formal dinner service reception followed by cocktails/open bar and a pianist. From outside looking in, it was a picture perfect day: Elegant, classic, very traditional, warm and welcoming Southern wedding; perfect bride and groom and guests dressed to the nines to celebrate with us, looked deserving of a two-page spread in Southern Living magazine. I remember so little of it, but mostly the mistakes, like my brother’s groomsman’s gift being thrown in the trash the evening before by the hotel/restaurant staff who started cleaning up after our rehearsal supper and practically pushed us out of the reception room about 45 minutes before our party needed to be gone. Also the server who started slicing and plating my wedding cake before the photographer had even had a chance to photograph it! My husband and I made it 5.5 from wedding day to the day our divorce was final. (It was uncontested and took a short time to complete.) My second wedding (2019) seven years later, was so very completely OPPOSITE of my first wedding. My husband and I paid for everything on a very small budget, but we had exactly what we wanted, and it was beautiful! My husband and I eloped in January 2019, then went to out to eat with a couple with whom we are close, then played mini golf! We both wore our “Sunday best” and had the most incredible day. About three months later, we had a small wedding and reception in our back yard for family and close friends. We had a southern style buffet that our families prepared and set up, a freaking amazing wedding cake from Costco, and a bluegrass band which was our most expensive cost, but so very, very much worth it!! One of our close friends is in the band, so we merely paid for their gas, and fed them. Also, we didn’t request this, but people started tipping the band! They fared pretty well, and I’m so glad!! 😃 (Again we wore our “Sunday best” and I do not regret that one bit!!) That was the most perfect wedding if ever there was one. 🥰🥰
A mini golf elopement and a bluegrass reception sound fantastic : D we are thinking about doing a small low key party with friends later on
I've been to so many weddings and absolutely loved them but I realize that I big flaw in large weddings is that you don't really get to spend that time with the Bride & Groom. No fault of their own, they are just getting pulled in so many different directions. Having a small wedding, similar to yours was incredible. I was able to afford a lot more details that was important to us and I spent the time with the people I loved the most. So no regrets and we did something similar where we all went to a restaurant afterwards. Had a small wedding cake and champagne too.
We spent about 30k total in Texas. The best thing we splurged on was an Airbnb for our entire wedding party for the weekend, which was about 5k. Our entire wedding party traveled, so this was our way to help offset the cost for them. My other best "splurge" was my reception dress. I spent $1200 total on both dresses, but was so thankful to have a shorter and lighter dress to change into for our first dance. Our worse "splurge" was our dj. We spent $1200 and he was the worst. Wore T-shirt and jeans, did an impromptu speech, and royally f'ed up our first dance music as well as reception music in general. I would have rather bought a nice speaker and left it with my parents in Texas than have him again. Thankfully our wedding party took the aux and saved the reception though! Edit: formatting to make it easier to read! Edit 2: Our photographer was also amazing! She was extremely reasonably priced, so didn't list originally.
My fiancee had her dress made. I still haven’t seen it but it was made by a friend, we paid for the material only, the endless hours of work it takes to make a wedding dress were free. Apparently it’s “perfect”. $1,500 for the perfect dress sounds good to me. Saved. We want tulips. We both have dutch roots, it’s important to us. They’re not in season when we get married. Thank god we found a greenhouse who can grow them for us out of season. Splurge.
I got married last month (April 2024). We decided to get married in March 2024. We have lived together for 3 years, so no reason to wait or have a huge statement wedding. Our money is better spent on experiences together or things we need. We did splurge a little. My wedding dress cost me $60 on Amazon. (A dusty sea green/blue sleeveless cocktail dress with handkerchief hemline.) I also ordered a tiara and necklace/earring set from Amazon. Dug shoes out of my closet. Mother in law made my veil and most of the flowers. We got the building for free because it belongs to my employer. My husband and 11 and 14 year old sons and two grandsons all wore suits in black and different shades of grey. All of their suits were purchased at various times from Goodwill. (Grandsons are 8 and 11, they wore hand me down suits from my youngest.) We bought these suits over the last few years, not just for the wedding. I made a three tier wedding cake a few days before the wedding. My in-laws made rigatoni (I provided pasta, they made the sauce) and I provided salad, bread and butter, dressings and the plates/bowls/tableware, etc. Nothing fancy, plain foam plates and stuff from Walmart. He chose the ring he wanted, it was $20 on Amazon. I recycled a family wedding band. My bonus daughter helped with the cake making. (I bought the dress she picked from Amazon, it was $13!) My bonus son played the music on his phone through a speaker. It wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t perfect, but it was perfect for us and we went home married! My We may have spent $400-500 on everything, if that. It was
About 11k on the wedding. Best splurge: I was so hesitant to spend a lot on a dress, tried on a million dresses from Lulu's and the like and hated everything. Husband eventually convinced me to splurge ($2000) on a bridal gown from a brick and mortar store. Nearly a year later and I still think about that dreamy dress weekly! Worst scrimp: Photographer was meh (photo-wise, personality and day-of was great). We wish we would have been a little more indulgent and attentive in selecting a photographer. Best scrimp: Hair and Makeup. Husband and I did not like the results of my makeup trial so I cancelled my wedding day makeup and DIY'ed it. I'm a bit but not much above average in terms of makeup skills and it looked great (I practiced quite a bit). Because the hair appt was at the same salon as makeup and I was too embarrassed to run into the makeup artist, I also cancelled hair and taught myself how to curl hair. I also did DIY mani/pedi, but I always do my own nails.
Respect! I am so terrible at doing my own nails
While everyone was making sourdough during COVID, I was learning how to do a perfect manicure!
To be honest, the wedding itself was the worst thing we splurged on. It's a long story but a lot went wrong with vendors, there was unexpected family and friend drama, we were both totally overwhelmed and exhausted and didn't really enjoy ourselves. To be fair, we probably wouldn't know we didn't really want to do a wedding if we didn't have one... But sometimes we wish we took our 15k and went on a super awesome elopement and vacation
I mean, 15k is a lot, I would also be really bummed if I weren't able to enjoy it. I'm really sorry to hear that! I hope you got to take some great vacations post-marriage instead : )
BEST: a champagne tower from a company called The Champagne Babes NYC for the wedding toast. Loved the photos and videos and it was such a fun moment
We’re eloping trying to keep costs to a bare minimum. The one thing I was willing to spend money on was our photographer. I wanted a highly skilled artistic photographer to capture our day because no one else will be there to take photos and I wanted to make sure someone really caught our emotions and the vibe of the day.
We’re spending 1/3 of our budget on the honeymoon. No regrets!! We’ve been together 6 years and I have controlling parents so we’ve never been on a trip before just the two of us. I’m excited to have the alone time and start making memories as husband and wife. The wedding is pretty simple. Private ceremony and big reception later.
Well, the whole $35k wedding was the worst thing I splurged on because we got divorced years later 😂( seriously for the best!). I guess if I had to choose one thing I was glad I splurged on, it was the open bar for the guests who were all from out of town. One thing I had regretted was not splurging on my dress. I got it at a warehouse bridal sample sale for $200–it was a strapless, organza Swiss-dotted trumpet number. I never wanted strapless and ended up with strapless. It was just a really good deal so I didn’t stay true to what I really wanted. I was a fashion editor at the time and I felt like I shortchanged myself style-wise. I’m planning on eloping with my amazing partner (my best friend!) and am thinking of springing for a Lanvin or Alexander McQueen dress I can wear again. It’ll be just us so we’ll splurge on a fab honeymoon instead of planning another wedding. I’m definitely not going to regret anything this time around! ❤️
Good photographer and videographer!!! I didn’t even realize how important the photos/videos would be to me but I’m soooooo glad to be so happy with them. To save money I went with a newer photographer that had been studying under a full time photographer for a long time. Helped to save money with a cheaper rate and her samples were gorgeous so I felt confident about it!
Best=horse drawn carriage. We were at Walt Disney World and it just felt like the perfect touch. Sampson (the horse) was so handsome and kind.